Speaker 1: Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Docking Dope.
Speaker 1: Da Dakota John's trend I'm sick, ah Decatur Johnson. I
Speaker 1: have the one test I have for when I'm sick
Speaker 1: is if I spit in the toilet and it sinks
Speaker 1: to the bottom. That's when I know I'm sick. And
Speaker 1: I got it today. Baby, the heavy loo, the heavy look,
Speaker 1: we're heavy looking it up, the whole new level. Look.
Speaker 1: We're barely hanging off, folks, barely. All my voice sounds
Speaker 1: like now for the foreseeable future, I am jack. That
Speaker 1: is mild. And these are some things that are trending.
Speaker 1: Dakota John's trending because Dakota Johnson continues to not give
Speaker 1: a fun This is this is the good thing about
Speaker 1: NEPO babies. Mhm. They have acquired through just like always
Speaker 1: being around this ship their whole life. They have acquired
Speaker 1: a level of like institutional comfort. They're just like they
Speaker 1: take it for granted that they're famous and successful and
Speaker 1: therefore they just don't give a fuck. Yeah, there's no
Speaker 1: such thing as rocking the boat. When you're in that
Speaker 1: deep you're like, no, man, i I'm just talking. What
Speaker 1: are you talking? About there's no repercussions. So last November
Speaker 1: marked the third anniversary of Dakota Johnson, uh calling Ellen
Speaker 1: on her bullshit. Oh yeah, which is like, you did
Speaker 1: invite me to your party? Is that? Wasn't that? Actually Ellen,
Speaker 1: that's not true. Um. She just basically was like, you're cute,
Speaker 1: little like snipy, flirtatious fun banter is actually fucking annoying
Speaker 1: to me. Actually, no, that's not the truth, Ellen, is
Speaker 1: what she said. And then she was and then and
Speaker 1: then she just explained. I mean, it was very basic,
Speaker 1: but she was just like, you keep talking about like
Speaker 1: how I didn't invite you, and how you have this
Speaker 1: little grudge against me and I did invite you. But
Speaker 1: it allowed everybody to be like and another thing, Ellen, asshole?
Speaker 1: Um was that something at the beginning? Now that that
Speaker 1: the Ellen boat has been on shaky ground for a minute,
Speaker 1: and but actually interesting, man, it's always interesting. They're these
Speaker 1: celebrities who you hear rumors about, you know, somebody, some
Speaker 1: reporter is like chasing him down. But it always takes
Speaker 1: like a weirdly long amount of time where it's just
Speaker 1: people talking behind the scenes, and then eventually it's like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, all that ship you heard was true five
Speaker 1: years later. Um, so what's what's Dakota taken off the
Speaker 1: spice rack? Uh? This this time she's trending because she's
Speaker 1: just saying some spicy shit about Armie Hammer. That's not spicy.
Speaker 1: It's not really that spicy. It's actually I don't got
Speaker 1: the pickup that it did. Um, but I just think
Speaker 1: people we have a cannibalism shaped hole in our brain
Speaker 1: that we need to fill with cannibalism stories and so
Speaker 1: Army Hammer. Like, so, she was doing an interview, she
Speaker 1: remarked that she was up to being called me by
Speaker 1: your name, and then they were like, oh really, and
Speaker 1: she was like, yeah, I was up for the role
Speaker 1: of the peach. Thank god I didn't get it, though,
Speaker 1: because then I would have been another woman that Army
Speaker 1: Hammer tried to eat. Then she's been banging and then
Speaker 1: blew on her fingertips. Who else wants? Who else want
Speaker 1: to Hollywood again? Not Hollywood Court, not Hollywood which was
Speaker 1: Hollywood coke? But anyway, ye yeah, okay, then I get how.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's how all entertainment journalists would write about it,
Speaker 1: because they're like probably looking at her publicist and she
Speaker 1: said like, yeah, we got we gotta strike that. Then
Speaker 1: let her cook, Let her cook. What else you got
Speaker 1: to say? She got, I'm gonna say about Luca the director,
Speaker 1: So they also said she also said, who knew that
Speaker 1: cannibalism was so popular? Because in response to the movie
Speaker 1: being being a hit, I guess I don't know did
Speaker 1: Bones and All hit? And also this story allowed us
Speaker 1: to look into the theory that a lot of people
Speaker 1: had because so Army Hammer star of Calling by your Name, Uh,
Speaker 1: and then that director's look like check project, like calling
Speaker 1: Me by your Name was a huge hit, and like
Speaker 1: people were basically like make make whatever you want, and uh,
Speaker 1: he made Bones and All cannibalism story around the time
Speaker 1: that Army Hammer was It was like, you know, six
Speaker 1: months after Army Hammer was exposed as being a predator
Speaker 1: with cannibal leanings. But the timing like never made sense
Speaker 1: that people are like, he's making this because of Army Yeah,
Speaker 1: got it, And I mean unless Guadgino knew about Armie
Speaker 1: Hammer before the rest of us. But people are saying,
Speaker 1: uh that it was. His response to that was it
Speaker 1: was it was to be directed by my great colleague
Speaker 1: Antonio compos But he decided not to go for it.
Speaker 1: That's when they gave me the script. Any correlation with
Speaker 1: this kind of innuendo and silliness is preposterous, but we
Speaker 1: do preposterous silliness. So yeah, thanks, So we're here for
Speaker 1: why not? Yeah, keep shooting them Dakota, keep firing them off,
Speaker 1: you know yeah bang bangh civil war between Shapiro and Crowder.
Speaker 1: I guess I missed this. We all talked about it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so if you haven't listened in today's episode, the short
Speaker 1: of it is Stephen Crowder, who's like a right wing
Speaker 1: dirt bag guy who's got a huge online presence. He
Speaker 1: was approached by The Daily Wire, which is Ben Shapiro's company,
Speaker 1: to basically be like, hey, come to the death row
Speaker 1: of fucking hate content signed with us, and he said no,
Speaker 1: and he he laughed off a fifty million, four year
Speaker 1: contract that was a four day work week with four
Speaker 1: weeks off, and basically took issue with the fact that
Speaker 1: there were conditions to, you know, being like, if you're
Speaker 1: d platform, like you can't get paid because that's how
Speaker 1: that's how it works. They have to monetize anyway. I'm
Speaker 1: not here to explain that to him. So this thing
Speaker 1: has gone on even more. Some people are starting to
Speaker 1: imply that maybe this was like a campaign, outrage campaign
Speaker 1: that he had been orchestrating since last month, because he
Speaker 1: had supposedly registered a domain called stop Big Cohn, as
Speaker 1: he referenced in his video as he's saying, big conservative content,
Speaker 1: uh is like you know, in bed with big tech
Speaker 1: and whatever. And it sounds like with the timing of it,
Speaker 1: it would have been well into the negotiations he was
Speaker 1: having with the Daily Wires. So it's like a little bit,
Speaker 1: you know, a sloppy but we love sloppy over here. Um.
Speaker 1: Right now, there's like all kinds of response videos going out,
Speaker 1: Like Tim Pool is like has Candice Owen's on his show.
Speaker 1: They're all talking ship. Candice Owens is saying like this
Speaker 1: is a bitch move from Stephen Crowder and I want
Speaker 1: to play like it's gotten to this point where like
Speaker 1: this is what you know, like a like a disc
Speaker 1: track would be I guess handled in the conservative take
Speaker 1: usphere basically because you got his video. Now other people
Speaker 1: are clapping back with their singles and now I want
Speaker 1: to play this clip from Jeremy Boring fantastic name for
Speaker 1: the CEO of The Daily Wire, who is basically being like, oh, really,
Speaker 1: fool like you actually aren't that cool because there's nothing
Speaker 1: independent about you, because that's a big thing you've been saying. Oh,
Speaker 1: I can't be bothered, I'm independent. But here's the thing
Speaker 1: he's like, let me tell you a little something about
Speaker 1: Stephen Crowder. You know, he talks in this video about
Speaker 1: being one of the only true independent conservative voices. Uh,
Speaker 1: And I find that incredibly offensive. You know, Stephen the
Speaker 1: whole time I've known him has worked for someone else,
Speaker 1: has been paid by someone else. That doesn't mean other
Speaker 1: people tell him what to say. He's a very independent voice.
Speaker 1: And that's good. So isn't Pat Wolfe. So is Candace
Speaker 1: ol And so is Ben Shapiro, so is Michael Noles.
Speaker 1: So is okay, yeah, yeah, But Stephen, you know, as
Speaker 1: much or more than any of them, a very independent voice.
Speaker 1: But he's not exactly a self made man. That he
Speaker 1: was paid by p j TV when I met him,
Speaker 1: which was a billionaire at the time. Then he was
Speaker 1: paid by CRTV for a number of years, which was
Speaker 1: at the time. Then he was paid by The Blaze,
Speaker 1: which was subsidized by a billionaire. Yeah, all your ship
Speaker 1: is subsidized. Did you just find out that your whole
Speaker 1: ship is a racket that is funded by billionaires and
Speaker 1: that like you're not talented and that the whole thing
Speaker 1: is just what rich people want. Wire is actually funded
Speaker 1: by a consortium of millionaires, and that is what's about
Speaker 1: our shell humans four billionaires. It's just a fucking war
Speaker 1: of takes happening over there. Um and again you love
Speaker 1: to see it because they're just I'm like learning so much,
Speaker 1: but also I'm spending his little time without having to
Speaker 1: hear or see these people. Yeah yeah, but I mean
Speaker 1: for people who don't know all these dip ships are
Speaker 1: like picked out the second they're willing to like say anything, yeah,
Speaker 1: anything for money, like you know, hateful conservative ship and
Speaker 1: they're like young and can use words good. They get
Speaker 1: picked out by billionaires and there are a cause that
Speaker 1: like somebody very rich is paying for Like they don't
Speaker 1: get where they are because they're just like telling it
Speaker 1: like it is and smart and ship you're willing to
Speaker 1: debase yourself in service of oligarchy or white supremacy or whatever.
Speaker 1: So they're like, yeah, I don't do it. Is that
Speaker 1: like they're probably not being told what to say. It's
Speaker 1: just that, like the billionaires picked them out and fund
Speaker 1: them based on the fact that the thing they're saying
Speaker 1: is helping them be a billionaire. Yeah, but it's anyway.
Speaker 1: It's just so funny when he's like, you ain't no,
Speaker 1: you kept manny that. He was like, get this fifty
Speaker 1: million dollar contract. It's outrageous, right, Like he thought everyone
Speaker 1: was gonna go with him on that. He said, he well,
Speaker 1: apparently he thought he was worth thirty a year, so
Speaker 1: he thought he should be getting a hundred twenty million
Speaker 1: dollar contract. But he thought I was gonna like cause
Speaker 1: populist outrage, You dumb motherfucker. Everything switched up on him
Speaker 1: when all his fans found out what the money was
Speaker 1: because he wasn't talking money in his first video. They
Speaker 1: offered me a deal. It just didn't make sense. It
Speaker 1: felt like enslavement. And then people were like, hold on,
Speaker 1: fifty million dollars, you fucking weirdo. You're calling enslavement is
Speaker 1: an amount of money you should be ashamed of for
Speaker 1: even like countenancing, like getting paid, you dumb. They don't
Speaker 1: know this guy didn't even know how capitalism works. But anyway,
Speaker 1: this is they're one of their kings. That's fun. Um,
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break. We'll come back, we'll talk Brownie,
Speaker 1: we'll talk Netflix, we'll talk Giselle. Right back and we're
Speaker 1: back and Brownie. Lebron James is the high school student
Speaker 1: I've seen the most highlights for and they're impressive. Like
Speaker 1: some highlights are pretty wild. I think it's like the
Speaker 1: number twenty six pick right now, they say six ranked
Speaker 1: his age group. So he's looking at USC, Ohio State
Speaker 1: and Oregon as the leaders. Yeah, but they're apparently like
Speaker 1: for the people commenting on this story, they said those
Speaker 1: are not considered his finalists. There could be a dark
Speaker 1: horse university that comes into the picture. But I think
Speaker 1: one thing is fairly certain to us and anybody who
Speaker 1: is writing about this is that he he will definitely
Speaker 1: go to a Nike school. Like that's just there's no
Speaker 1: play around that. Um, you know, he's already has a
Speaker 1: deal with Nike, like you know, an n I L
Speaker 1: deal with them. So it'll probably be one of those.
Speaker 1: And maybe other people have said maybe Duke, because Lebron
Speaker 1: was such a fan of Mike Sachowski, but Miki is
Speaker 1: not coaching anymore. And plus they're not doing the same
Speaker 1: so that might not make as much sense. Apparently Lebron
Speaker 1: has very strong feelings about Ohio State. That's the home,
Speaker 1: so that's where you grew up. Yeah, and so people
Speaker 1: are like, well, there's like each school offers Lebron something
Speaker 1: scs close to literal home at the moment. If Lebron
Speaker 1: is staying in Los Angeles, Ohio State allows him to
Speaker 1: like kind of go back to like the Ohio you know,
Speaker 1: Ohio roots thing. And then they're like an Oregon is
Speaker 1: the strongest connection with Nike. I'm like, well, I don't
Speaker 1: know if that matters, but is Ohio State? Wait? Which
Speaker 1: Ohio State University? The Ohio State that's for non sports fans.
Speaker 1: That's what all their players say when they announced where
Speaker 1: they came from. I went to the Ohio State University exactly.
Speaker 1: He went to Miami University of Ohio. Netflix is coming
Speaker 1: for the shared passwords. They've been promising this for a while,
Speaker 1: but they just they just did a Q four earnings report,
Speaker 1: and you know they were they were on with their
Speaker 1: Wall Street homies. Who are I think it's like cool
Speaker 1: to fire people and shipped on the consumers who pay you,
Speaker 1: and so they were like, and by the way, we're
Speaker 1: getting rid of these fucking shared passwords. They're going down assholes. Um. So,
Speaker 1: I mean, I get why they need to do it,
Speaker 1: but I just can't wait to see how they fuck
Speaker 1: this up and like alienate the Yeah, I totally and
Speaker 1: I think a lot of us to do too. Because
Speaker 1: of that ad supported tier absolutely ship the bed like
Speaker 1: nobody using it. So they took a big swing on that,
Speaker 1: and I think because that was like no from the consumers,
Speaker 1: they're like, well, then we're coming for your fucking passwords. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and they're gonna like when they tried to do it
Speaker 1: and they like test rolled some of it out and
Speaker 1: I think some South and Central American countries and the
Speaker 1: reports from those tests were it fucking sucks. It's bad. Look,
Speaker 1: consumers get smarter, you know what I mean. So if anything,
Speaker 1: you're just gonna start seeing like a proliferation of people
Speaker 1: just uploading exclusive Netflix shows to like their plex server,
Speaker 1: and then everyone just goes to that, and then the
Speaker 1: pirates are gonna win or not. I don't know, you know,
Speaker 1: allegedly we have a new person to like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: there's that jay Z lyric about like in the future
Speaker 1: picturing your son throwing the football with Russell Westbrook, Like, uh,
Speaker 1: future kids or Russell Wilson. Yeah, and uh god, Russell Wilson.
Speaker 1: Have you ever watched videos of Russell Wilson. Yeah, Oh
Speaker 1: my god. He is the least interesting man on the planet.
Speaker 1: He is such a dorm He's like, he looks like
Speaker 1: an algorithm. Yeah. I don't know how that makes sense,
Speaker 1: but that's his vibe, his algorithm. He looks like he
Speaker 1: seems like he's malfunctioning at all times too, Like just
Speaker 1: his attempts to be cool or do anything authentic on
Speaker 1: social media are wild. Um, there's like this one long
Speaker 1: dance video that oh man, oh I saw that. I
Speaker 1: saw part of it where I was like, please get
Speaker 1: me out of here. Hard to watch, hard watch. Anyways,
Speaker 1: we got a new one, the Jiu Jitsu Instructor. The
Speaker 1: family Jiu Jitsu Instructor is the new person. You gotta
Speaker 1: be watching out for Russell Wilson throwing the mouth. It's
Speaker 1: the Jets Mob, They're coming for you. So we talked
Speaker 1: about how when Giselle and Tom Brady split that there
Speaker 1: was rumors that she was kicking it, like you know,
Speaker 1: with the jiu jitsu instructor, and people are like, you know,
Speaker 1: he's been like a refuge and like like there's a
Speaker 1: lot of trust between them. Now there's like pictures of
Speaker 1: them and like Costa Rica and like they're on a
Speaker 1: jog and ship and they're like, what's going on? And
Speaker 1: again they're like the fund is going on here, Like
Speaker 1: she's with the jiu jitsu guy, right, this guy like
Speaker 1: Joaquim Valenci, I don't know if he's I don't know
Speaker 1: if he's Brazilian also, which may factor in, uh yeah,
Speaker 1: and which would get in a way. Yeah, but I
Speaker 1: mean there's I mean b j j Yeah, Brazilian jiu
Speaker 1: jitsu is definitely its own thing. So you know, it's
Speaker 1: not Brazilian NFL football that is whack and only American.
Speaker 1: I wonder if she's like, yeah, you know, he's just
Speaker 1: tom just has no honey in his hips, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, He's touched down, Tommy. I need someone
Speaker 1: with a little bit of you know, as we say
Speaker 1: in Brazil, some some some that X factor that we
Speaker 1: like to tap into. But anyway, you know, one of
Speaker 1: the insiders said Gizella doors and trust valenci And has
Speaker 1: been spending a lot of time with him. But I
Speaker 1: don't think it's a traditional dating scenario, which means they're dating,
Speaker 1: like yeah, there's nothing going on here. They simply have
Speaker 1: a quote deep personal relationship and he is a teacher
Speaker 1: to her and the kids. Oh Tom, no, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. When you step to this guy, he's gonna
Speaker 1: have you in his guard so quick, and you're gonna
Speaker 1: act like just told him you walked out a fucking
Speaker 1: anger management family. So he's gonna be like, Oh, you're
Speaker 1: a tough guy. Huh okay, let me come over here. Chom,
Speaker 1: I got something, are you, Mr Braigy? Uh yeah, that
Speaker 1: Portuguese accent, you know, Chom Braigy And that quote whether
Speaker 1: it goes on to say whether or not it will
Speaker 1: ever become more than that rests on the table. So
Speaker 1: that's a really non committal way from him. That sounds
Speaker 1: like a yeah, the teacher to her, I'm a teacher
Speaker 1: to her and the kids, like a very slightual describing
Speaker 1: whether or not they're fucking you know. Yeah. I also
Speaker 1: found out what what what's the type of fat that
Speaker 1: people are speculating to that cheek fat Yeah removed. There
Speaker 1: was a really funny tweet with someone who's like, we
Speaker 1: don't call that boocle fat around here, we call that
Speaker 1: guancha like Italian like parked out will meat he used
Speaker 1: to cook with. Yeah, that was more of a foodie
Speaker 1: joke for child. But yeah, some people. So people are
Speaker 1: speculating because he's he's very thin, I think because he
Speaker 1: is on so like, do people realize how restrictive TB
Speaker 1: twelve is. No TV twelve considers tomatoes a junk food.
Speaker 1: Tomatoes like just raw tomatoes. That's not you're not that's
Speaker 1: too inflammatory, Like there's so much ship you can't it's
Speaker 1: too much. And now he looks like handsome squid word
Speaker 1: having a mid life crisis. Yeah, and it is wild
Speaker 1: to see, Like when he came into the league, he
Speaker 1: was just like he looked like a football player, and
Speaker 1: now he looks Yeah that he's a guy where the
Speaker 1: Jets mob took off with his wife and kids. He
Speaker 1: looks like a character from a nightmare before Christmas, you know,
Speaker 1: like very he's he's got Jack Skellington vibes um and
Speaker 1: it's good, Like, hey, he's still a handsome dude. He
Speaker 1: was handsome before too, Like it's it's all good. That's
Speaker 1: why I feel comfortable like making fun of his changing appearances,
Speaker 1: Like I'm not. It's not like it's like, look at
Speaker 1: this ugly you know, he's still an icon. It's just, uh,
Speaker 1: what do you you act like? He's listening to this
Speaker 1: ship Tom. It's all right, man, like, don't don't be
Speaker 1: mad at me. Just take a look in the mirror,
Speaker 1: you know. All right, get to the next one so
Speaker 1: we could feel older, okay. Uh and finally, uh, somebody
Speaker 1: issued a list of the top rap songs turning thirty
Speaker 1: this year. It's oh, yeah, I know him all, I
Speaker 1: know him, all these songs that are turning thirty. Okay,
Speaker 1: first one, what if I say, who that's the sound
Speaker 1: of the police. Yeah, that's cares one sound of the police.
Speaker 1: How about this one that's slam Bionic Lords of the
Speaker 1: Underground chief come on, chef Chiefs about to be thirty?
Speaker 1: Shoop shoopoo again. This is how I this is how
Speaker 1: we chill from ninety three till died the seven Digits
Speaker 1: call up Bridget Yeah so was a mischief till infinity,
Speaker 1: which makes sense. It's but still had to put that
Speaker 1: in my mind. Um uh full you know how we
Speaker 1: do it? Ice cube? Okay, hey what about a fool?
Speaker 1: Don't you know I'm local local Boom dum boom, insane
Speaker 1: in the brain. Also, Papa, Papa you n I d
Speaker 1: I gotta let him know you ain't up. That's how
Speaker 1: I remember on the radio, it was who are you
Speaker 1: calling up at you? We're like what uh? Then? Uh?
Speaker 1: Naughty by Nature, hip Hop Hooray, Diggible Planets where I'm from,
Speaker 1: Keep your head up by Tupac, Outcast Players, ball Snoop Dog.
Speaker 1: Some of these seem real, like the Cypress Hill one
Speaker 1: for some reason. I think maybe because like my friends
Speaker 1: at the time, we're into the Cypress Hill one, like
Speaker 1: right away, like the second that came out, They're like, oh,
Speaker 1: we smoked weed too, right exactly? Yeah, Murder number four
Speaker 1: I got. I think I had that cass single. If not,
Speaker 1: I had the cassette album of Murder Murder they gave me.
Speaker 1: That's when I was like, who's Calvin Rhodus like the
Speaker 1: video because had that and I was like, that's his.
Speaker 1: That's when I was like rappers can have, like really
Speaker 1: dorky asked names. Oh no, and then when I learned,
Speaker 1: I was like, no, I can't believe. Shoot and Murder
Speaker 1: was the case came out in the same year, also
Speaker 1: award tour, and then one of our favorites, don't yeah
Speaker 1: casual is everything around me because I mean, we gotta
Speaker 1: get that money, dollar dollar bill, y'all. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: wait when do we That's so funny, Jack. I remember
Speaker 1: when we were talking about the twenty fifth anniversary of
Speaker 1: thirty six Chambers on this show. Yeah, early episodes and
Speaker 1: we're talking thirty years. Oh my god, Miles, we just
Speaker 1: carbon date. Just use like I'm fucking just use, just
Speaker 1: use thirty Look, cut cut us in half like the
Speaker 1: rings on a tree, and just hold up the thirty
Speaker 1: six Chambers next to our bleeding body and you'll hold there.
Speaker 1: All right. Those are some of the things that are
Speaker 1: trending on this Friday afternoon. We're back on Monday with
Speaker 1: the whole last episode of the show. Be kind to
Speaker 1: each other, be kind to yourselves, get the vaccine, don't
Speaker 1: do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to
Speaker 1: y'all on Monday. Bye bye.