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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Steph

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Speaker 1: When never told you production by her.

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Speaker 2: Radio, and today's the day is the day? Almost you

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Speaker 2: tricked me?

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I did confuse some people on Instagram as

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Speaker 1: well when I posted about this.

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Speaker 2: But we are here.

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Speaker 1: The day if you're listening to this to day it

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Speaker 1: comes out, it's the day before our book publishes. So

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to do a bit of a check

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Speaker 1: in and see how we're doing. How are you feeling, Samantha.

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Speaker 3: I keep getting asked this because we did get advanced

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Speaker 3: copies of our book. I haven't posted yet, I need to,

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Speaker 3: but we did get it. Kind of funny, guess I

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Speaker 3: think I got mine a day before yours. But like,

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Speaker 3: it's very exciting, it's really pretty, it's so amazing. This

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Speaker 3: is how I react in most situations, though I think

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Speaker 3: I have a problem in which when it happens, I

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Speaker 3: have the most surreal calm that I can't react to it.

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Speaker 3: So it's literally just like uh huh, thank you. Okay.

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Speaker 3: So I had friends over this weekend who including Caroline,

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Speaker 3: the previous host, and so we were talking about it

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Speaker 3: and she's like, congratulations, Oh my god, that's amazing, and

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Speaker 3: she's like, how do you feel? And I was like, uh, huh,

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Speaker 3: it's done. Like that's all I could say, because I

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Speaker 3: don't know how to properly celebrate things. Apparently I don't

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Speaker 3: think I properly celebrate anything in general, because I just

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Speaker 3: get this anti colmactic like drop of like endorphins where

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Speaker 3: it's just like, eh, okay, is it done yet type

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Speaker 3: of feeling. Now, you and I have had a lot

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Speaker 3: of ups and downs with this, so that might be

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Speaker 3: part of the reaction to this, where we've hit a

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Speaker 3: lot of walls. We've had to kind of do back

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Speaker 3: and forth. We've been kind of the children in a

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Speaker 3: fight in some things and we're just watching and waiting.

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Speaker 3: So there's been a lot behind the scenes. Is obviously

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Speaker 3: always a little bit more dramatic, and so it's kind

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Speaker 3: of one of those moments. And then also, yeah, like

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Speaker 3: it feels too early to celebrate because I'm waiting for backlash.

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Speaker 3: Maybe I'm such a negative person in general. I can't

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Speaker 3: help this.

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Speaker 1: It does feel like something that is difficult to fully

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Speaker 1: celebrate because it is something that I am proud of

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Speaker 1: and that we worked really heard on, and given the

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Speaker 1: conditions that we had and the time frame that we had,

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Speaker 1: and I just think that there are all these other

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Speaker 1: things that go into when you are publishing a feminist

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Speaker 1: book where feminism is in the title and it doesn't

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Speaker 1: feel as safe a thing to celebrate, and I hate that.

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Speaker 1: I hate that it's like that. But a lot of

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Speaker 1: times when people ask me like, oh, hey, I've heard

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Speaker 1: you in a book, and I kind of hesitate because

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't I don't know if you're cool.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you're cool, And having that hesitation

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Speaker 1: it sucks. It's it's like, I want to be loud

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Speaker 1: and proud and you know, stand up for what I

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Speaker 1: believe in and feminism and intersectional feminism, right, but you know,

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Speaker 1: you got to pick your battles. And if I encounter

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Speaker 1: a stranger who I don't think will harm me, I

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Speaker 1: don't care that you know what I say and they

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Speaker 1: don't like it, right, But that's what I did. But

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Speaker 1: you have to take into account the book like this. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: you're the opinions of your family, reactions of your family,

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Speaker 1: and choose how to celebrate something when you also don't

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Speaker 1: want to lose these relationships which I know we've talked

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Speaker 1: about several times on this show, right right.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not going to lie. A lot of

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Speaker 3: the excitement has been dampened by the fact that I

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Speaker 3: can't talk to my family and I say I can't

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Speaker 3: without it being a battle. And for people who know,

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Speaker 3: the listeners who know already I have a very strenuous

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Speaker 3: relationship with my family. We love each other, we would

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Speaker 3: support each other. I talk to my family and we

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Speaker 3: stray away from any controversy because we know what it's

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Speaker 3: going to lead to. Again, when I tell you, one

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Speaker 3: of the most traumatic moments I've had with my mom

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Speaker 3: was heard finding out what type of show out was

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Speaker 3: on doing this, crying in a public for the both

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Speaker 3: of us because it was such a heated argument. Being

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Speaker 3: called a tool of the devil by my mother, like

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Speaker 3: was not a good experience. So having a book with

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Speaker 3: my name on it, and honestly, like when we talked

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Speaker 3: about me changing my name, I kind of wish I

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Speaker 3: had made that decision before this book. I'm not gonna lie,

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Speaker 3: but it is what it is. All of these things

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Speaker 3: come into play for my excitement because I got these

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Speaker 3: amazing copies and I'm like, who do I give them?

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Speaker 3: To like, it's not my family.

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Speaker 2: I don't.

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Speaker 3: I purposely blocked my niece, who I love very much

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Speaker 3: and who out absolutely is on with me. She came

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Speaker 3: to college in Atlanta and did exactly what they were

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Speaker 3: afraid of, which had become educated. I mean, it is

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Speaker 3: what it is, and she now sees a lot of

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Speaker 3: what I went through and having to deal with out herself.

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Speaker 3: And I blocked her from this because I was starting

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Speaker 3: the promo work for it. I taken off all of

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Speaker 3: my family, most people from LJ Georgia, because I did

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Speaker 3: not want them to be in this conversation at all,

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Speaker 3: because I can guarantee as proud as that as they

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Speaker 3: would want to be of me because of what's in

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Speaker 3: the book, and I did. I wrote the abortion chapter

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Speaker 3: that in itself is the main issue that my mom

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Speaker 3: and I had a falling out of, outside of all

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Speaker 3: these other things, because all she can hear is killing babies,

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Speaker 3: and we know what that narrative is. And so because

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Speaker 3: God bless her, she's an uneducated woman who listens to

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Speaker 3: these false narrations about and all she sees is pictures

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Speaker 3: of the babies dying essentially like and then also that's

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Speaker 3: also why she adopted me. Partially why she adopted me

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Speaker 3: because that's she was saving a baby. But like in

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Speaker 3: all of those things, I have to try to protect

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Speaker 3: myself and protect our relationship because I think if we

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Speaker 3: had one more falling out like we did, that there

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Speaker 3: would be so much fallout in our family. So with

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Speaker 3: a book like this, I know what it's gonna bring up.

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Speaker 3: I know the conversations that it could bring and the

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Speaker 3: costs that it could come with. So I can't celebrate

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Speaker 3: as much as I want to because of that I

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Speaker 3: actually had, you know, I think I had it as

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Speaker 3: an episode why I cried on the hair going. You know,

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Speaker 3: it hurts me. It breaks my heart that they can't

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Speaker 3: share in something that I should be so proud of.

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Speaker 3: And I had a moment with you where like at

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Speaker 3: first we were so caught up in the stress, and

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Speaker 3: then as we were reading through it, we're like, oh

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Speaker 3: my god, this is actually pretty good. I really I'm

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Speaker 3: proud of us, you know, And then like doing the

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Speaker 3: audio portion and having people in our ears who we

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Speaker 3: still don't truly belie, which is not which is not

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Speaker 3: good for us when they say they loved our book,

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Speaker 3: and really like we loved this. We think this is

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Speaker 3: such good stuff. The few reviews that they've sent to

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Speaker 3: us and we'll say like that have been lovely. But

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Speaker 3: I still found any negative statement before I saw the

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Speaker 3: positive statements, which is again, this is our own thing.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, because we're bracing for the type of reaction

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Speaker 3: we know these kind of books get. It's that same

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Speaker 3: reaction I had from the realtor when he was like,

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Speaker 3: oh women's issues, what Oh, it's feminists and his eye

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Speaker 3: just like went big and looked at my partner and

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Speaker 3: he was like, oh, sorry, man, type of conversation. That's

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Speaker 3: what we get instead of the typical like oh cool whatever, whatnot.

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Speaker 3: So I think there's so much to this and we're

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Speaker 3: I'm just waiting for that impact. I'm waiting to see

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Speaker 3: if my family finds out and what happens.

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Speaker 1: Like that.

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Speaker 3: Fear is always in the back of my head because

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Speaker 3: of that. But then again, I have my partner's family

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Speaker 3: who was so excited, who pre ordered the book, who

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Speaker 3: made sure to tell me how proud they were of me,

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Speaker 3: So like I have that, you know, things like that again,

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Speaker 3: and the friends who came over Caroline who like pre

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Speaker 3: ordered the books and also was like so proud of you.

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Speaker 3: We know what it takes, we know what it took.

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Speaker 3: Congratulations and trying to live in that, but really feeling

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Speaker 3: like to be able to step into that has been

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Speaker 3: kind of difficult.

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Speaker 2: But the book is beautiful.

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Speaker 3: I'm really proud of it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the book is beautiful, and I am proud of it.

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Speaker 1: It has been a stressful thing, as we've discussed in

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Speaker 1: a lot of ways, and there's an anxiety that I

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Speaker 1: have just being mentioned in the same sentence as feminist

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Speaker 1: writers we spotlight on this show that you know, their

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Speaker 1: whole life and everything that they've worked for. And also

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Speaker 1: we were recently we guested on Feminist Book Club podcast

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Speaker 1: you heard Renee from there on here right, and we

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Speaker 1: had a discussion about you know, sometimes I get a

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Speaker 1: littlennoyed that I feel that a lot of our male

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Speaker 1: colleagues who have written books didn't have to feel these

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Speaker 1: sort of things, these sort of worries, these sort of questions,

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Speaker 1: Like I literally debated about even tagging you, Samantha when

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Speaker 1: I posted on Instagram, because I knew about all this

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Speaker 1: stuff that you were dealing with, and I waited to

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Speaker 1: tag because you know, my mom is very liberal were

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Speaker 1: very like minded. She's on my wavelength, so I don't

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Speaker 1: have that issue, but a lot of people her family aren't.

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Speaker 1: And she's you know, going to share it with her family, who,

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Speaker 1: by the way, like once ordered subscribe to Atlanta magazine

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Speaker 1: just because I was mentioned in there. So it's sort

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Speaker 1: of I haven't shared it even with her. And I

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Speaker 1: also there's just conversations in there that are very personal,

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Speaker 1: and I do think a lot about this. One time

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Speaker 1: when one of our first conferences we went to and

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Speaker 1: one of the attendees asked a question that was, you know.

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Speaker 2: Where where's the line?

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Speaker 1: Where do you draw the line between being open and

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Speaker 1: vulnerable and protecting yourself? And that still I still think

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Speaker 1: about that. That's difficult, and this book was a very

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Speaker 1: like I being very open, I'm being very vulnerable. I

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Speaker 1: haven't told those things to my family. I haven't told

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Speaker 1: those things to some of my friends. I haven't shared

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Speaker 1: some of that with anyone. So it's scary because I

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Speaker 1: feel like I don't want them to find out in

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Speaker 1: that way. But also yeah, I just it is a

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Speaker 1: beautiful book and I am happy about it, and so

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Speaker 1: it's sad that it's not the several of you have

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Speaker 1: written in about this actually, like how it's become complicated

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Speaker 1: to celebrate things right, and I feel like this has

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Speaker 1: become I wish I could celebrate it more right, but.

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Speaker 3: We will say I will say this like our faithful listeners,

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Speaker 3: our longtime listeners. You all know who you are, who

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Speaker 3: have pre ordered what have been ready from the jump

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Speaker 3: cat and I see you because they have been there

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Speaker 3: from the beginning. That also makes it very exciting, like

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Speaker 3: knowing that do you trust us enough to be like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: we'll jump on this, let's go, let's go. That's been

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Speaker 3: amazing as well that you have taken it a home

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Speaker 3: faith that we are sending you something that's worth thirty

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Speaker 3: something dollars, because I don't know if I would do

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Speaker 3: that for anyone else a lot of the time. So

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Speaker 3: that's been amazing too, that to have the core of

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Speaker 3: people who know who we are and excited for us

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Speaker 3: and have been sharing for us. It's such a beautiful thing.

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Speaker 3: Y'all don't know, like we might not comment, we might

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Speaker 3: not always like see it right away, but when we do,

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Speaker 3: the relief and the pressure that it takes off of

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Speaker 3: us because we do feel like so much when it

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Speaker 3: comes to being vulnerable or sharing these things, being told

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Speaker 3: we have to do it and then want to do

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Speaker 3: our best in it no matter what, and so having

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Speaker 3: that has been built here for a long time that

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Speaker 3: Kristen and Molly started from Jump and then has become

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Speaker 3: this and now has become a part of our faithful listeners.

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Speaker 3: As our personalities and trusting our personalities even though we

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Speaker 3: are completely different from all the previous hosts, and we

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Speaker 3: what's important to us, what we want to talk about,

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Speaker 3: emphasizing that this is a growth, just like the part

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Speaker 3: of the show that our book is about us continuing

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Speaker 3: to learn and to encourage that no matter how many

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Speaker 3: feminist books there are out there, that it keeps growing

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Speaker 3: and that the information keeps coming and there's new information

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Speaker 3: and there's more information, and there's more we should be

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Speaker 3: doing because intersectionality didn't happen until recently, and so that's

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Speaker 3: so important to remember and That's what we wanted to

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Speaker 3: emphasize more than anything else, is that you have a

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Speaker 3: story to tell, you have a conversation to add, and

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Speaker 3: we want that to be a part of that narrative.

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Speaker 3: And hopefully we that even though we had a lot

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Speaker 3: of conversations about history, because history is important, and especially

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Speaker 3: erased or has been tried to be erased, it is

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Speaker 3: currently trying to be erased. So making sure that we

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Speaker 3: emphasize that was something that so important for us and

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Speaker 3: being able to do that and being able to do

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Speaker 3: that freely has been phenomenal.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like we really.

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Speaker 1: Did capture our voices and our unique takes. And even

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Speaker 1: if you've read all these books, I hope that it

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Speaker 1: will feel fresh, all these books, being all these books

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Speaker 1: in the feminist realm, and it is true that you,

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Speaker 1: the listeners, influence these books. Like if I could give

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Speaker 1: you royalty checks, I would, and not that we're going

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Speaker 1: to get any, but if we did, because you have

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Speaker 1: been such a vibrant community that has really shaped my

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Speaker 1: worldview in a lot of ways or pointed out what

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Speaker 1: I should work on or look at, or these issues

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Speaker 1: that maybe I needed to look into and that is

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Speaker 1: in the book. Some of the topics we chose, which

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Speaker 1: by the way, was a very difficult thing because there's

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Speaker 1: so much to talk about, was because of all of you.

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Speaker 1: And we're just so so grateful to have a listenership

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Speaker 1: like all of you that is kind and always wanting

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Speaker 1: to learn and always wanting to grow and is also

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Speaker 1: helping us learn and also helping us grow. So that's

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Speaker 1: you are so appreciated, and the book is what it

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Speaker 1: is in part because of you, and we wouldn't have

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Speaker 1: even had this book without a listenership like you, So.

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Speaker 2: Just thank you. We really really do.

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Speaker 1: Appreciate it, and we do appreciate the people who have

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Speaker 1: pre ordered it are ordered it. I know that's not

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Speaker 1: an option for everyone, and it is expensive, but however

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Speaker 1: you have supported us.

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Speaker 2: We do appreciate it, so thank you.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. And for those who get the book or

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Speaker 1: the audiobook both, I hope that you enjoy it. I

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Speaker 1: hope that it shines through how much you have influenced

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Speaker 1: it and how much we just love all of you

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Speaker 1: for it. We could have done done it without you,

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Speaker 1: so thank you. So if you would like to contact us,

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Speaker 1: you can You can email us at stephandi mom Stuff

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Speaker 1: at iHeartMedia dot com. You can find us on Twitter

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Speaker 1: at mom Stuff podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok at

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Speaker 1: Stephone Ever Told You. You can find us on Tea Public.

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Speaker 1: We have merch and yes, you can order the book

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Speaker 1: at stuff you should read books dot com. Let us

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Speaker 1: know how you like it. Thanks as always to your

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Speaker 1: super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya and our contributor

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Speaker 1: Joey also couldn't have done it without them. Thank you

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Speaker 1: and thanks to you for listening. Stephane Never Told You

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Speaker 1: is production of iHeartRadio. For more podcast from my Heart Radio,

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Speaker 1: you can check out the heart Radio app, Apple Podcast

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Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows