00:00:08 Speaker 1: But I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your own presences presence enough. I already had too much stuff, So how did you dare to surbey me? 00:00:48 Speaker 2: Welcome to, I said, no gifts. I'm Brigard Wineger. We're in the backyard. Analise is not present. Analise just took off into the night. I have no idea where they're going the auto show, I don't know where do you go at night in an escape room, a rave. We have no idea where they've gone. So we're flying. I don't know what the term is, flying free, and this episode is gonna go wild. Just be prepared. We're in the backyard. It's still under construction. That seems to be my life now. Seven pm, so that means I had dinner at five pm. I've had my evening caffeine, and I'm so excited about today's guest. He's so unbelievably funny. It's Dwayne Perkins. 00:01:39 Speaker 3: Hello, Dwayne, Welcome to. 00:01:40 Speaker 2: I said no gifts, thank you. It always feels so strange when the producer's not present. It feels like I'm tricking the guest where it doesn't feel like a real show. 00:01:49 Speaker 3: Oh no, yeah, that's exactly how it feels. And I'm excited to look you in the eyes and talk. I've not done a in person podcast in quite a while. 00:02:00 Speaker 2: How does it feel so far good? 00:02:01 Speaker 3: There's like birds and shit back here. It's exotic, it's lovely. Minus I had to walk up a hell you did. 00:02:08 Speaker 2: Have to walk up kind of two hills and stairs, so torn ACM, and you're kidding what happened? 00:02:14 Speaker 3: I was in a dance class and I pivoted too hard. 00:02:21 Speaker 2: What how often are you in dance class? 00:02:23 Speaker 3: I used to go pretty often. I used to be a professional dancer, like a couple years ago before I focused on comedy. So I just jump in for like a nice little hobby. So escape from the entertainment industry and just go do something that's just like I'm trying. My heart is only right now. Once this is over, it doesn't matter. And I was in a class in January. The teacher like picked out like a group of boys to do like a special section at the end of class, and I was in the front. Oh, and I think I just gave a little too much, and it was at the very end and I just like did a very simple move and then there was a pain. 00:03:03 Speaker 2: No, that's terrible, but you, I mean you had no choice. Your back was against the wall. You're the star. 00:03:09 Speaker 3: It was. It was like, well, this is my moment. I'm not gonna do anything else and dance, so this is what matters. And I also came late to class, and so I didn't stretch properly. 00:03:23 Speaker 2: Really, how much stretching are you doing before dancing? 00:03:28 Speaker 3: Depending on classes, some of the teachers give like warm ups, so that's like a part of the class. Most teachers just like put on music for some minutes and they're like, do what you need to do. But I was late, so I just had to jump into the choreographer running into the mistake. 00:03:47 Speaker 2: How does an ACL torn acl feel? Is it extremely painful or is it just annoying. 00:03:51 Speaker 3: It's been a crazy journey because every time I tell someone, even doctors, the expectation is that, like I should feel a lot worse. I was like, oh, well, I don't like after it happened in class. Immediately after class, I went to go have margaritos with my friends. Oh, there's no paint like. I was like, something's wrong. Maybe I'll just like ice it. And then I went home and iced it, and then the next day it was a very swollen and I was like, Okay, I'm gonna just like chill out, see if it goes down. A week later, it did not, so I went to urgent care and they were like, oh, you have a lot of fluid on the knee. So then they drained my knee of like six miles of blood. Oh it's dramatic, and I was like this is terrible. And I was just like just there looking like, oh, this is crazy. Then they sent me home, gave me some ibuprofen and said take this to take down the inflammation and I said sounds like a plan. Like a month later, I was like, I feel like my knee should be healing, and it didn't. So I went to my primary care PHU and he was like bending my leg and all kinds of ways, like does this hurt? And I was like, no, it doesn't. And then he told me to go take an X ray. We looked at the X race. He said, you seem good to me, but you should go get an MRI and I said okay. So then I got an MRI a couple weeks ago, and then two weeks ago they were like, oh, no, you have multiple tour muscles like your Yeah, my my ACL is torn and then my l C L me neither. So the ACL is like right below your kneecap right here, and then the LCL runs up the side of your leg to keep like your knee stable. So I just because like I pivoted inwards. So it's just like fucked up, like the outer right miss of my knee. 00:05:38 Speaker 2: I mean, I to be completely honest, until just like thirty well until you said your knee, I had no idea where the a CL wasn't. I knew it was in the leg. That's all I could have told you. 00:05:47 Speaker 3: Apparently it's not like a muscle you like kneed, like like like you need it, but it's not like helpful unless you're like doing like high activity like a lot of basketball players urt there a CL. And so I've just been like going about lives just like, well, my muscles are broken, but I do have to have surgery. 00:06:06 Speaker 2: Oh you have to have surgery? 00:06:07 Speaker 3: Yeah when next Friday? 00:06:09 Speaker 2: Wow? Is it? H Do they put you under for it? 00:06:12 Speaker 3: Yes? Oh, Mike, and I've never had surgeries, so I'm just like, what's in store? 00:06:17 Speaker 2: Have you ever been put under in it for anything? 00:06:20 Speaker 3: No? 00:06:21 Speaker 2: I was put under foot when they took my wisdom teeth out. That's the only time. 00:06:24 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, prepare yourself, my nurse said, asked me the same question. She said, what happened when you had your wisdom teeth? And I said, oh, my dtches said my mouth was just big enough for them to grow in. I just have a lot of teeth. 00:06:37 Speaker 2: I feel like you've just come to this podcast a brag NonStop. 00:06:40 Speaker 3: Yes, it's about my broken boy and yet my very special mouth. 00:06:45 Speaker 2: No, I will say, enjoy the time being under because it's so strange. It's like you vanish from existence for a while. 00:06:53 Speaker 3: Do you have a conscious memory of what that felt like? 00:06:56 Speaker 2: No, I mean I remember like them counting down, them being like okay, ten, nine to eight, and then nothing, and then waking up. I like in the grocery store parking on my mom was driving and I was banging on the window at somebody holding a shopping cart because I was completely out of it. But that small window is just not part of my life. It's so bizarre. 00:07:19 Speaker 3: Yes, I just read this tweet that was I thought was interesting and I sent to a friend of mine and it was saying how this girl went under and then she came back. She was asking her doctor like, what was I like? What was my body like when I wasn't in control of it right? And the doctor was like what She was like, yes, myself, that was not me because I wasn't present. What was that like? Was my voice higher? Was it lower? And she said that it freaked the doctor out and he stopped talking to her because she was really trying to have like these deep existential conversations thinking about like being like, oh no, I was not present in my body, so someone was there that I don't have a conscious memory of who was that? And I think the doctor was like, oh, I think something's wrong. Are you asking me this? 00:08:04 Speaker 2: The doctor is just there to talk mechanics. 00:08:06 Speaker 3: Yeah, and those are my thoughts as well. I'm just like I want then, I wish. This is the only time I've ever been like, I wish I had a reality show because I want to cameras to follow my entire experience so I could watch and be like, oh wow. 00:08:19 Speaker 2: I mean, could you ask the doctor to just prop your phone up on the little metal table or what. 00:08:24 Speaker 3: I'm an influencer. I need this video today. This is content. 00:08:28 Speaker 2: Maybe somebody in the o R has got to be able to handle that as valuable footage and it's not going to happen that often. 00:08:37 Speaker 3: Knock on out. Yeah, so we'll see. Wow. 00:08:42 Speaker 2: So surgery that sounds horrible. Uh, and remind me of the other one is called the l S we're learning. We're learning, al Elsie, do you have any idea what this stand for? I think a cute is in and maybe lateral. 00:08:59 Speaker 3: For lateral collagen leg um, I would say, And this is the last thing I'll say about this. They told me because I told them that, like I was a dancer, and they were like, usually to fix an a cl they would use a graph of another one of your tendons. And they were like, well, we don't want to weaken your leg anyway, so we're going to use a cadaver. And I was like what And they said, yeah, we're gonna use the Achilles tendon of a dead body and we're gonna put that in your knee. In fiction WHOA And I said, Oh, how. 00:09:29 Speaker 2: Do you feel about that? 00:09:32 Speaker 3: I'm pretty excited. I've never had any well, okay, I never had anyone inside of me in this way. It's just interesting to kind of be like, oh, there's someone else's like ligaments in my body. Maybe it would be like a fun possession moment. I'd be like, oh, my right, he wants to dance or something. 00:09:52 Speaker 2: That's not a bad idea for a dance movie. 00:09:54 Speaker 3: I'm pretty open. I'm really just looking for any way life can surprise me. And if suddenly I woke up and was like my leg is doing whatever it. 00:10:02 Speaker 2: Wants, peaking out from the corner or something like, wow, I feel like I'm excited that the doctors care about your dancing. 00:10:10 Speaker 3: I would say this has been terrible because I don't want surgery, but the like, the medical care has been the nicest experience I've ever had with any medical. 00:10:21 Speaker 2: Profession, they say, with anything in general. 00:10:24 Speaker 3: They've They've just been so kind, so sweet, charming. They make a joke. I'm just like, well, this is so fun. And the nurse was like, yeah, you come here because you're broken. The best we could do is like keep a good vibe. I was like, Natalie girl, and then she said you're one of us, Like we got you. I know, probably they're trying to induct me in some way, and you know I'm following for it. 00:10:53 Speaker 2: You're gonna come out of that being under and they're going to take full advantage. 00:10:56 Speaker 3: Yes, And I would be like, oh, this has been san challenging the whole time. 00:11:01 Speaker 2: Scientology. Isn't that kind of hospital looking building? 00:11:03 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I would be like, whoa, guys, the kere. 00:11:05 Speaker 2: Is great, excellent, I'm joining stars. 00:11:09 Speaker 3: They got me here, I am. 00:11:13 Speaker 2: I'm glad you brought up dance class because it's just Weirdly recently, I've been like I should because I'm desperately looking for any way to spend my days. Yes, I was thinking of joining a dance class. I love dancing like a wedding, and I feel like I'm a pretty good dance I get good feedback. 00:11:30 Speaker 3: Yes, are you good at like translating move like if somebody like does dance moves and right now you do it? 00:11:39 Speaker 2: See that? I don't know. Okay, that's the big question. 00:11:42 Speaker 3: Okay, that's where that's the lit miss we're trying to create. 00:11:46 Speaker 2: I mean, I took in middle school ballroom dance class. 00:11:49 Speaker 3: That's how I started dancing. 00:11:50 Speaker 2: Kid, what age did you start it? 00:11:54 Speaker 3: It was like in high school okay, so I was probably like sixteen or seventeen. 00:11:58 Speaker 2: Okay, And what sort of stuff are you dancing too? 00:12:01 Speaker 3: I don't know what kind of music like. I started with like rumba, salsa and some other dance. What was it. It was in that lane, right, and it was just like me dance with a bunch of girls, these girls around and then I started like jazz right, balle hip hop. 00:12:22 Speaker 2: And that was so that was your first entry into Why did you choose ballroom? 00:12:28 Speaker 3: I was doing musical theater at the Talents Perfect and a friend of mine was taking class at the studio, and I was just like looking to do more dance outside of just like musicals. And I was just like, I very much just like will go to what I know. And so if I'm like, oh, I want to do this thing and someone's like I have the recommendation, I'm just gonna be like that one because I don't want to keep looking. She said, hey, I go to a dance place. I said, bo, I'll be there, and then they and I took classes and then they were like, hey, do you want to join this ballroom company? And I was like, sure, I ain't doing nothing else. So then I was suddenly doing a ballroom. 00:13:07 Speaker 2: And how long did you do it? 00:13:08 Speaker 3: For? Probably like six months? 00:13:11 Speaker 2: Okay, okay, So there was no touring, there was no were there any recitals or anything? 00:13:16 Speaker 3: Yes, okay, yeah it was. It was just like, looking back, I have not thought about that time like a long time, and I'm like, wow, that was so random. 00:13:28 Speaker 2: Yeah, ballroom dance stuff, I mean for a teenager feels so bizarre. 00:13:32 Speaker 3: Yes, And it was like right around the time, like I just came out and I was like, oh boy, and like there was like rolls, like you're like the masculine man, I mean, but like I just did this already. I don't want to pretend to be masculine anymore. 00:13:45 Speaker 2: I want to be dipped truly. 00:13:47 Speaker 3: That's also I was a cheerleader in college and that's the reason why I quit. I said, I'm just picking up women. 00:13:53 Speaker 2: No, thank you throw me. The picking up sounds absolutely miserable. 00:14:00 Speaker 3: Yeah. I was like, oh no, we're just like strong props. I'm not. They said, do some flips and pick these girls up, and I said, if y'all don't throw me in the air, I'm leaving I have. 00:14:11 Speaker 2: To beat the bottom of a pyramid, none. 00:14:12 Speaker 3: Of that standing on my spine. I don't want this. Can you do flips somewhat? So it's so dangerous, Similar to you, I love doing things and that's why I'm so mad that my knee is fucked up. And during the pandemic, I started taking adult gymnastics classes and it was so much fun and I was very good at it, Like I was truly like giving like teacher's pat like I because I'm really good at like watching something and then being like I think I could do it, and so like he'd be like, so this is how you do a backlip, and me being like, okay, so you do a B and C. Okay, Like I know my body pretty well, so like let me just like try to do what you said. And then I do it and be like, oh, yeah, that's how you do a that clip. 00:14:57 Speaker 2: So bizarre. 00:14:58 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like his teaching side was very strange because he would just like do it and then be like this is what I did, this is how I did it, and I try it incredible and it was like some things I was like back handsprings, like back tucks, like there was like a lot of things I was. I got on very easily, and then there were certain things like do this summersault and me being like what how how how Like I'm not anything that was like rolling backwards. My body just was like, no. 00:15:27 Speaker 2: The summersault is a horrible move. Is It's not cool looking, it's not. 00:15:31 Speaker 3: You're just throwing yourself on your spine. 00:15:33 Speaker 2: And then like rolling You're so painful, even like a like a child somersault is painful to do. You're just like kind of flinging your body on the ground. 00:15:42 Speaker 3: Yes, And then they tried to switch it up one day and then they were like, oh, we're going over to the side with like equipment and they were like, climb this rope and I was like absolutely not. That is not why I came here right into work because it's clime in this rope. 00:15:54 Speaker 2: So did you just quit? 00:15:55 Speaker 3: No? I just didn't do the wrong people did it and I said passed. Then we did the balance beam. That was cute. It's so much harder than that. I have zero balance, yes, And then I was trying to be fancy so I did a cartwell off of it and was and screamed because I was like this is so high. Why do I think I was com many dolls, like I don't know, but being in that space, there's so much padding, so it feels like this. 00:16:20 Speaker 2: Is so thank that's true. That's true, yeah, because like at least like Olympic level gymnasts sometimes get pretty hurt doing it right. 00:16:29 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I was truly just like off the street sometimes I just be like I'm flipping, but it really did, like really hit, like a very jovial part of my space. And so I love just doing stuff. So I recommend dancing because it might just awaken a. 00:16:44 Speaker 2: Lot of dance class. This is good for like a beginner person, Like what sort of dance should I pursue? That all have fun, not some boring shit. I want something enjoyable, like. 00:16:54 Speaker 3: A beginning hip hop class, because it's a lot of just like emoting and like expression sometimes like a lot of like choose your own and be like, oh, walk walked in, like do a couple of poses, so like you have an opportunity to like figure out like, oh, what do I like doing? Like what makes me feel cool? Russ is just being like do these twenty thousand eight counts? Like that probably won't be as enjoyable if you feel like it's school, Like you're just like runing. 00:17:21 Speaker 2: My problem is nothing makes me feel cool. 00:17:24 Speaker 3: So I'm simply shoe number one. 00:17:29 Speaker 2: I get a therapist. Seek therapy. Wow, I'm going to get into it. I have a friend who takes a beginner tap class, and that is not for me. 00:17:38 Speaker 3: I would say, of the dance styles that I've done, tap was the one that I did and said no. I said no, no, no, I just was not good at it. And I knew I'd calculated how much energy and time it would take for me to get good at it and said, not worth it. 00:17:52 Speaker 2: It seems like kind of like learning an instrument. 00:17:54 Speaker 3: Yeah, like the articulation of the foot. And I said, I'm not. 00:17:58 Speaker 2: No. When people start talking about out heel ball all of this, I'm out. 00:18:03 Speaker 3: And that's the thing. Like I catch on the things pretty quickly, and that humbled me the quickst I've ever in my life. I said, oh, oh, I don't have this level of talent. This is not a thing I can do. 00:18:14 Speaker 2: I really appreciate how quickly you're able to just decide that something's not for you. Oh. 00:18:19 Speaker 3: Quitting is one of my favorite things. It has really not led me wrong. My spirit says, don't do that, and I say, Okay, I'm right. 00:18:31 Speaker 2: I'm very good at quitting jobs, or I was for a long time, like through teens in college, I was so good at quitting jobs. But now I'll let things go on for one hundred years before and then I like try to sabotage it so it ends. 00:18:44 Speaker 3: Yeah, that sort of thing. My very first job was like the winter break after my first trimester of college. I was working at j C. Penny on the department story and I was like a greeter at the like mall entrance to be like hello, welcome to JAC Penny. Because they were like, oh, you have a lot of energy, you homosexual. I was like I'm liah, welcome being peno. And I was just like living my life. And then they said you have to work on Christmas and I said, you'll never see me again Christmas. 00:19:17 Speaker 2: No, No, no Thanksgiving. 00:19:19 Speaker 3: It was the day after Christmas and I was so like, but I don't want to and with my family and they were like, no, you have to come in. And I didn't realize that like if I was like, oh, no, I can't do it, and then they were like, no, you don't have a choice. And I said, how do you think. 00:19:32 Speaker 2: That, Well, then you don't have an employee. 00:19:35 Speaker 3: Oh think you're just never going to see me again. And I did not even verbally quit. I just said I just never showed it my guy. I just like, well, okay, this don't work for me. 00:19:43 Speaker 2: It's an incredible feeling. How long were you working for Pennies? Did you ever call it Pennies? I was like, what, welcome to Pennies? 00:19:52 Speaker 3: Now I call it j C's that's much more. I worked there for like most of my break so maybe like two months. 00:20:00 Speaker 2: Okay, okay, and then you were done. 00:20:02 Speaker 3: And then I said it was far from my house, right, I wasn't getting paid that much, just like adding then for the most part, I just like would say hi, then go hide in the bathroom for hours out the dream job. She was like, oh boy, this is how exhausted they had hide to people. 00:20:20 Speaker 2: Did you work on Black Friday? No? No, because that's that position at j C. Penny on Black Friday seems like it would be the absolute worst thing in the world. 00:20:29 Speaker 3: It does. Like I remember when they would like make me pivot and do like other stuff like oh, go fold these pants and be. 00:20:34 Speaker 2: Like what I wasn't born for that. 00:20:35 Speaker 3: I was talking to people. I'm going to school for theater. 00:20:43 Speaker 2: Is my stage? Oh boy, well, I I love a J. C. Pennies. That's one of the few places I didn't get to work. But I love a good quitting too. It just vanishing from the department store. 00:20:56 Speaker 3: I really didn't like. The best way to lead a life of happiness is to really like redirect. When you hit any kind of resistance, it's literally show no, this is now inconvenient and goodbye. 00:21:08 Speaker 2: I'm moving on the least resilient personal. 00:21:13 Speaker 3: Yeah, that is my mantra. I'm sensitive. In a week, I will quit at an instant. 00:21:19 Speaker 2: I mean, well, speaking of things not going people's ways, this kind of thing. I was really excited to have you on the podcast. I was so happy. I thought, Dwaine's so funny. We're gonna have a nice time on a lease will be there, It'll be like a big family. And my evening began to fall apart pretty quickly. On a Lease isn't here here? You come up the hill in agony, pain holding what's clearly a gift. The podcast is called I said no gifts, huh, I mean I will say it's in a nice bag. 00:21:52 Speaker 3: Thank you. 00:21:53 Speaker 2: It's uh did you pick this out yourself? Yes, it's like very exciting looking. 00:21:58 Speaker 3: Thank you. 00:21:59 Speaker 2: Do you want me to open it here on the podcast? 00:22:02 Speaker 3: Yes, I would like that. 00:22:15 Speaker 2: The bag is kind of it's like a white bag with rainbow hologram triangles. 00:22:21 Speaker 3: It's like gay technical, the gayest bag. 00:22:25 Speaker 2: We'll take out some tissue here. 00:22:27 Speaker 3: I stuffed it. 00:22:28 Speaker 2: There's a lot of just put the whole thing of tissue. 00:22:31 Speaker 3: That is the gift. That's not a bad. 00:22:36 Speaker 2: Okay, wait, let's see this is this looks terrible? 00:22:45 Speaker 3: Excuse me? You would dare say that of my gift? 00:22:49 Speaker 2: It's a like a white chocolate fruity pebbles Bunny's so confusing. Like looking at this, I'm like trying to process what this is in my brain. 00:22:59 Speaker 3: Uh huh. 00:23:02 Speaker 2: Why did you bring this to me? 00:23:04 Speaker 3: Because you know, Easter is just around the corner. I love a holiday that has a fun maskscot and bunnies are you know, cute and fluffy? And I say, you know, I'm feeling in the holiday spirit. Oh and that's not the only gift. 00:23:19 Speaker 2: There's more in here. Well, let's talk about this for a minute, because this is a very confusing product. I do love fruity pebbles. Nice, Are you into fruity pebbles? 00:23:27 Speaker 1: I do. 00:23:28 Speaker 3: I enjoy a bowl here and there. Okay, I do think they get soggy a little too quick, but generally, yes, you have to have very little milk, but generally, you know, they're a nice, little sweet, sugary. 00:23:38 Speaker 2: Treat, right. I think I prefer cocoa pebbles, But I think the texture they nailed, I mean, outside of it becoming soggy almost immediately, it's like that weird No other cereal is like that. What is it? 00:23:50 Speaker 3: It's almost like really flat rice crispies. 00:23:53 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. It doesn't have like that weird puff of the rice crispy that you just get to light the little snap. Do you like white chocolate? This is I feel like it's a very controversial. 00:24:04 Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean I don't dislike it, but if I have too much, my brain thinks, what the fuck is this? 00:24:12 Speaker 2: What? 00:24:12 Speaker 3: Because this is not chocolate, right, it's something else and they just appropriated chocolate and they just put white in front of it. And I was like, this feels conceptually problematic, but you know, I have bigger things to worry about. 00:24:28 Speaker 2: That's problematic candy of all. No white chocolate is so because texturally very similar to chocolate, but then otherwise it's just like sweet butter or something. 00:24:36 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like the reverse racism of candy. 00:24:42 Speaker 2: But this is this is gonna be an interesting thing. Do you want to try it here on the podcast? Should we try it and see what we think of it? 00:24:48 Speaker 3: Sure, I'll take a little. 00:24:50 Speaker 2: I don't bring this into my home and not try it. We're gonna open the Oh, it smells like immediately like fruity pebbles. I appreciate it. 00:24:58 Speaker 3: It does. I do love the smell of fruity pebbles. It like reminds me of like my childhood. 00:25:03 Speaker 2: And a lot of cereal doesn't have any smell. No. 00:25:06 Speaker 3: I I have a friend of mine bought me a fruit loop candle and it's been is one of my favorite things that I that I own. 00:25:11 Speaker 2: Here, I'm gonna give you a small piece because I think you think either of us is gonna The fruity pebble is strong, very almost immediately yes, not bad, no. 00:25:21 Speaker 3: But again the aftertaste is like I can't eat much of this. 00:25:26 Speaker 2: It's almost perfume. 00:25:28 Speaker 3: Yes, it kind of has coated in my mouth. 00:25:31 Speaker 2: You don't have to eat the rest of that if you don't want. 00:25:33 Speaker 3: I don't. 00:25:35 Speaker 2: It's kind of like almost floral or something. The fruity pebble becomes like a weird. 00:25:40 Speaker 3: Flower, Death says, very fragrant, and. 00:25:44 Speaker 2: Then the taste gets actually way worse as it goes. 00:25:47 Speaker 3: It does like as the taste goes on the fruity pebble leaves and it's just like a timmy chemically. 00:25:53 Speaker 2: It's like almost bitter. Well, who's behind this product? Frankfurt, I've never heard of this company? Wow, what a fascinating candy. 00:26:02 Speaker 3: Yeah, so, I hope you enjoy your game. 00:26:08 Speaker 2: Did you always know it was called the flint Stones or did you think it was the Flintstones for a long time? 00:26:13 Speaker 3: The what flint Stone? 00:26:15 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the Flintstones has a tea in it? Did you know that? 00:26:18 Speaker 1: No? 00:26:19 Speaker 2: I learned that very late in life, and it was changed everything for Flintstones. 00:26:24 Speaker 1: No. 00:26:26 Speaker 3: I mean I think the way that like society works, you know, how like things evolved. I feel like the tea has become. 00:26:33 Speaker 2: Silent, kind of like a fluid. 00:26:35 Speaker 3: Yeah, but like, oh no, like that's not a tea that we like, actually pronounce it's just like there. 00:26:41 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean you sound crazy. If you say flint stones. 00:26:44 Speaker 3: I would be like, what the hell is that? Why'd you say it like that? 00:26:49 Speaker 2: I don't even think you can sing the theme song with that te melody did. 00:26:55 Speaker 3: Like even saying it was like that feels unnatural. 00:26:58 Speaker 2: I feel like they should have just dropped the tea early on. I don't know why it's still there. Everybody thinks it's flint stones. 00:27:04 Speaker 3: Like I have to listen to the theme song now and to see if they pronounce it flint There's no way. Maybe she's like really soft flintstones. 00:27:12 Speaker 2: The softest. Yeah, it's a very odd that was such a bizarre revelation. I've got to have a drink. This is this candy is bizarre. Okay, Uh, let's keep talking about Easter for a minute. Actually, do you enjoy the holiday Easter? 00:27:28 Speaker 3: Honestly, if if someone don't tell me is Easter, I will not know. No one knows when Easter is because because it's one of those changing dates, right, it could be in I don't know it's in April, and at some point I will see like why aboudy wearing floor pastels? I'm like oh, the Lord has returned as a kid. It was like eventful, right, It was like I did stuff? Did you do that? 00:27:54 Speaker 2: Like egg hunt sort of stuff? 00:27:57 Speaker 3: Not really like it was a lot of like egg coloring. I love the egg get dressed up and go to somebody's house and they barbecue. It was just like gatherings, yes, and like a day for my parents to be like we have to look good and we'd be like, girl, what that's so special about today? We're just go and be around a bunch of eggs. 00:28:18 Speaker 2: I do love an Easter outfit, though, I feel like, you know, bonnets solve this sort of stuff. 00:28:23 Speaker 3: Yeah. I just wore a pink suit to the Glad Awards and a lot of my friends were just like, okay, Easter fresh and we'll be like guys, all right, Well, and I had to give it back. It wasn't mine. 00:28:39 Speaker 2: It was one of these like fancy borrowed Yeah. 00:28:42 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was so pretty. But yeah, I don't own pink suits. 00:28:48 Speaker 2: I need to get into the borrowing suit game, because no, I own one suit that I don't like. But you don't want to buy suits because you're like, when am I going to use this other than the one time, I have. 00:28:58 Speaker 3: Like a closet for the blazers and I'm like, eh, am I librarian? Like why do I have these? Like where am I gonna wear these? And like feel like, oh, I'm killing it. I feel like a paralegal like. 00:29:12 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's uh, yeah, I don't so I think you're onto something. How did you come to borrow the suit? Did somebody offer it to you? 00:29:19 Speaker 3: Yes? I like worked with like a stylist for like the first time. 00:29:23 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, this is cool, And did you enjoy working with the stylist? 00:29:26 Speaker 3: I did, Like, as you know, I quit things easily. So the best way for me to not is to have just people do things for me and I and most a lot of situations in my life, I'm like often adopted as like the leader because I feel like I'm very like outspoken, just I kind of speak and I really just like I'm very like solution oriented, so like I feel like I often follow into that role. So in my normal life, I'm just like I'm very submissive. I'm like you just said, lead me. I'm a sheep. I don't want to do anything. I really want to think, and so just having people just be like try this on. Do you like it? And I'd be like yes, no, yes, no, and then then be like we got it, and we'd be like all right, and then they said we'll tailor it and show up you just put it on. It really was like, oh, this is like privilege. Like I'd be like, oh, like this is why rich people are happier. 00:30:17 Speaker 2: Because they don't have to worry about that or do anything, like ah, what a treat. 00:30:23 Speaker 3: But it was just like a special situation because I was promoting a movie that I have. 00:30:29 Speaker 2: Yes, I'm so excited about the movie. It looks both funny and scary, which is almost impossible to do. 00:30:36 Speaker 3: Yeah, that was the balance we're trying to strike. So I'm I really am excited for it. But yeah, like getting a stylist, like, it was paid for, So the idea of like me personally paying for it insane. 00:30:49 Speaker 2: Maybe after the movie, like but like it's. 00:30:53 Speaker 3: Very nice to like dip my toe into being like, oh this is so nice. I love this all the But if I pay for it, I would. 00:31:01 Speaker 2: Not no, no, no, no, you'd be worrying about it and feel bad. 00:31:05 Speaker 3: Yes, but free that is my favorite. I love free things. 00:31:09 Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's why I love like a business trip, yes, where you're in a hotel and it's been paid for it. Nothing feels enjoy Oh my god, it's you can't touch that in any other space. 00:31:19 Speaker 3: Somebody's paying for me to lay in a hotel and watch ridiculous ridiculousness for twelve hours. Baby, that's such a good I'm just like a show. Wow, people falling, hurting themselves. What enjoy? 00:31:32 Speaker 2: I love being able to just turn on a TV and there's TV there because I don't have cable at home. 00:31:37 Speaker 3: You neither. 00:31:37 Speaker 2: It's such a luxury to just be like, turn on the TV and there's garbage to watch. 00:31:41 Speaker 3: I tried to watch what a worship was that the Oscars Just it was such a hassle, be like how do you watch live TV? 00:31:49 Speaker 2: Like? 00:31:49 Speaker 3: And I don't want to go nowhere. I'm just like seeing like there's like an illegal link, Like how do I do this? I have to ask friends to be like, do you have like a YouTube TV password? 00:31:58 Speaker 2: It was just I make it so hard for you. I don't even know. I went to a friend, so that's how I watched. I wouldn't have been able to do it at home. 00:32:05 Speaker 3: I lied. I was at my friend's house with oscars. It was the Grammy. 00:32:08 Speaker 2: The Grammy's a bad award show because I was. 00:32:11 Speaker 3: Like, oh, I want to say people sing because they're doing something. The Oscar is no one's doing anything nothing, They're just like getting up it and like thank you, blah blah. But the Grammys there's performances. I'm like, oh, and I really wanted to see that. And that was when I was like, I'm just trying to consume some art. 00:32:27 Speaker 2: Why is this so hard? And that is a CBS thing And I feel like CBS makes everyone's life a hell, living hell when they're trying to watch their SHO. 00:32:35 Speaker 3: Had all kinds of trials or programs. It was like, I said, what is happening? Free me. 00:32:41 Speaker 2: I'm gonna get back into the bag. You said there's other stuff, Yes, okay, reaching in, reaching in. Oh, this is actually a good gift. This is a fun thing that I haven't had in a long time. It's a slinky uh huh did you see this on the Easter aisle? Or where did this come into your life? 00:32:58 Speaker 3: I had this image in my head that made me laugh. It's very juvenile and I'm going to say it. So there's another gift that you should take, because in my mind there was going to be like a duo situation this thing. 00:33:12 Speaker 2: Yes, okay, it's simply a bottle water. 00:33:22 Speaker 3: And so in my mind, the idea was to put this slinky on top of the water so that you can have like a fun little thing to play with as you're drinking water. Idea reminded me of foreskin, and I was like, oh, that's cool. But then I was like, oh, I don't know if this slinky fits around this water bottle, and then I didn't want to like open it and then just give you like a loose slinky. 00:33:43 Speaker 2: Well, if you're thrown a loose slinky in the bag of it probably would have broken it because slinkies are so oddly fragile. 00:33:47 Speaker 3: Yeah, they're very. 00:33:50 Speaker 2: Should I try to put it on now? 00:33:51 Speaker 3: Yes, it's it's like the idea is like like a cozy, but just like a fun one that you can like jerk off a bit like moves. There's like movement. I think textured things are fine. 00:34:05 Speaker 2: It's not fitting on too thick. Wow, very interesting, very interesting. 00:34:12 Speaker 3: I haven't there were down like a staircase or something. 00:34:15 Speaker 2: Yeah, I haven't used a slinky as an adult. I only use them as a kid, and I think was terrible at it. So I'm excited as a skilled adult to reapproach the slinking. 00:34:26 Speaker 3: You say you were terrible. 00:34:27 Speaker 2: What do you drop it down the stairs too fast or whatever? I like, I always ended up totally tangled, and they're probably actually, it'll probably happened to me tonight, you know. 00:34:39 Speaker 3: But it's the journey to get there that we'll remember. It was a very fun forty seven. 00:34:46 Speaker 2: Second Yeah, slinkies and frisbees. I'm terrible with I. 00:34:51 Speaker 3: Hurt my I was playing frisbee. I was doing something and we're playing frisbee in like a gym, and I was surprising. They very good. And again similar to this dance class, here we go. I did a little bit too much and I put it back myself. Oh I didn't realize like how throwy it was. 00:35:09 Speaker 2: Oh so it's like when you're like throwing back. 00:35:11 Speaker 3: And then I said, oh. 00:35:14 Speaker 2: Wow, was this a hospital situation. 00:35:17 Speaker 3: No, it was just like, oh, just like lay down for a couple of days, like, don't move, take some takes. It was like a constant pain when I moved. 00:35:26 Speaker 2: What age was this that? 00:35:28 Speaker 3: It was like last year? 00:35:31 Speaker 2: What were you doing with a frisbee and a gym? 00:35:33 Speaker 3: Last year? I was filming like a pot it's like a what are those called? It was like a filmed I could say it was a podcast, like a scripted podcast. We were in like a high school. They wanted us to like do it like on a set. It was like an interesting experience. And then like on break, we were playing frisbee in the gym and I was like, this is so much fun. And you know, any stretch. 00:36:01 Speaker 2: That feels like that could have easily been a worker's comp situation something you should have taken advantage. 00:36:05 Speaker 3: Of that I should have. 00:36:08 Speaker 2: But you've got to always be thinking of money making opportunities. 00:36:12 Speaker 3: You've got it that I don't have a deep connection with money. 00:36:15 Speaker 2: Write yourself a note just have in your pocket, and hey, be about the bag all the time, all stop. 00:36:22 Speaker 3: The moment you get hurt, be like, how can I use this? How can I be compensated for my pain? 00:36:28 Speaker 2: Well, I've got my slinky, I have this disgusting chocolate and I'm just a classic bottle of water. 00:36:33 Speaker 3: Water was to wash down the chocolate. I said, I don't know how it is gonna taste, and it tastes exactly. How had that. 00:36:42 Speaker 2: I love a little food test. I love just a sampling of something that I would never try. You know, there's no chance I would have bought this on my own. 00:36:51 Speaker 1: No. 00:36:52 Speaker 2: Is that fireworks? 00:36:54 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's this moment. There was birds fireworks. This is truly beautiful. 00:37:00 Speaker 2: This is the fourth of July. 00:37:02 Speaker 3: Those are Easter fireworks to celebrate their return of Christ. 00:37:06 Speaker 2: Every holiday should just have fireworks. 00:37:08 Speaker 1: They do. 00:37:09 Speaker 3: People have no there's no rhyme or reason when people do fireworks. They say, if I have the baby, they're going off. If I feel joy in this day, I'm gonna shot away up with these louds out. 00:37:20 Speaker 2: You're not seeing a lot of fireworks Halloween, Valentine's Day, those feel like uh natural fireworks. 00:37:26 Speaker 3: Holidays there's fireworks and other ways. Falentaine's Day in the bedroom. 00:37:32 Speaker 2: And you said, Eva, wow, I wonder there are fireworks pretty pretty frequently in this neighborhood. People are having a great time. 00:37:45 Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean people just are looking for any kind of stimulus. 00:37:51 Speaker 2: Anything that will make them happy. For a second. 00:37:53 Speaker 3: You're doing dance classes, I'm flipping and not climbing ropes. They're doing fireworks. 00:37:59 Speaker 2: We're just looking for joy, those little firework moments in all of our lives. It's a hard time. It's a tough time, but we're having the time of our lives. 00:38:08 Speaker 3: You know, we're doing our best every single day. 00:38:11 Speaker 2: Ah well, I'm gonna I'll hold on to my chocolate. Maybe at some point I'll be desperate enough for a sweet treat. 00:38:17 Speaker 3: Yeah, next time we have a guess, they'd be like, hey, I have a gift for you. Taste this. I'm gonna videotape you. 00:38:26 Speaker 2: That's a great uh, not a bad idea. And I love the idea of pulling this out for a guess, just being like. 00:38:32 Speaker 3: It's just a loose piece of candy on a little white tin. 00:38:36 Speaker 2: They'll never return. Well, I brought that over and still smell the fruity pebbles. 00:38:40 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's really intense. 00:38:42 Speaker 2: Something bad is happening with this candy. 00:38:44 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's as if they like did something to it to be like, oh no, it's now like almost candily. 00:38:50 Speaker 2: Right, they like spritzed it. That's not a bad idea for a candle, though they probably have one of them. They must. 00:38:54 Speaker 3: If I have a fruit loop when I know there's a fruity petal. 00:38:57 Speaker 2: Right, fruit loops and fruity pebble smell pretty similar to each other. 00:39:02 Speaker 3: Yes, I think fruity pebbles are stronger. Foot loops is like a little more subtle, right, because I'm like thinking about like my candle. 00:39:10 Speaker 2: I'm like, this is nice, but I prefer fruity pebbles as a cereal. 00:39:16 Speaker 3: I prefer fruit loops with marshmallows. 00:39:18 Speaker 2: I literally just bought with marshmallow. Is this is that a new innovation. 00:39:21 Speaker 3: No, it's been around, but like it's just like similar to like Captain crunch oops all berries. It's just like a special like cereal that you just have to go like a little further down to go there. But yeah, it's like basically like my version of like Lucky Charms. Like Lucky Charms gets like a little sweet like oh, I like fruit loops also like little little tang fake marshmallow, like a little piece of sweet air. 00:39:47 Speaker 2: Are they the same texture as a Lucky Charms marshmallow? 00:39:50 Speaker 3: Yeah? 00:39:51 Speaker 2: Those aren't marshmallows. No. 00:39:53 Speaker 3: I think I'm assume is like pasteurize, like milk and sugar, just like some kind of like powder compressed hard together to make the idea of a Marshall. 00:40:07 Speaker 2: The platonic ideal of an Actually it's not because it's not there puffy. It's like a soft little pebble or something. 00:40:14 Speaker 3: Yes, and then when it gets wet, it's like, oh, it's softer to eat it by itself. 00:40:18 Speaker 2: It's not like it's space food. It's like astronaut food sort of thing. 00:40:23 Speaker 3: Yes, like like dried fruits. 00:40:26 Speaker 2: Dried marshmallow. Not into it? Well, actually I am into it? What am I talking about? I think we should play a game, Okay. I don't feel like we've played gift or a curse. In a minute. I need a number between one and ten from you. 00:40:42 Speaker 3: Three. 00:40:42 Speaker 2: Okay. I have to do some light calculating, okay, to get our game pieces. So you can promote something and you should recommend do whatever you want to. I'll be right back. 00:40:51 Speaker 3: Oh okay, Oh this is lovely. Hey y'all. So I have a movie coming out June sixteenth. It is called The Blackening. It's a lovely project. It started off as a sketch that I wrote with some of my best friends in my improv group. We filmed it for Comedy Central and then Tracy Oliver, a lovely, lovely, talented woman, who wrote Girls Trip. She saw it and then she called me and said, let's make this into a movie, and we did and it comes out June sixteenth. Is about a group of friends who go to this cabin and then they're a cycle killer comes and he's like, hey, y'all are all black, So y'all gotta decide which one I'm kill first, and then you know it is them trying not to die. It's a horror comedy. It's a good time. So yeah, go see it. 00:41:38 Speaker 2: Excellent, Thank you. I really excited about the movie, and what a good summer movie. 00:41:42 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm really excited. 00:41:45 Speaker 2: When did you originally do the sketch in twenty sixteen? Wow, so it's been like a journey. 00:41:51 Speaker 3: Yes, the sketch was for like a show that I did in Chicago, like a sketcher, right, Yeah, and then it became the Comedy Central Sketch in twenty eighteen, and then now it's a movie in twenty twelve. 00:42:03 Speaker 2: What will it be next? That's the big question? Music cast actually very likely, that's how that's the pipeline. 00:42:11 Speaker 3: I imagine one broad ject. 00:42:14 Speaker 2: Wow, wouldn't that be? That would be enough? 00:42:16 Speaker 3: Dream? You know, I hate inconvenience. I'm just like, let this one thing be my everything. 00:42:21 Speaker 2: Streamline, just have to do a bunch of different ships away. This is this is the beginning of your awards tour thing. What do they call those they're trying to win awards? 00:42:33 Speaker 3: Yeah, this is like my my press campaign. 00:42:36 Speaker 2: Yeah, press campaign. This is your first stop. And I'm so happy for you to be here. 00:42:40 Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you so much. 00:42:43 Speaker 2: This is how we play gift for a curse. I'm gonna name three things. You're gonna tell me if there're a gift or a curse and why, and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. There are correct answers. Okay, be very careful, Okay. This first one is from a listener named cal and Cally has suggested gift or a curse using your pinky to point at something gift. 00:43:07 Speaker 1: Why. 00:43:08 Speaker 3: I think it gives character because the pinky is the small like well, the thumb is like strong, so like that doesn't really matter. It's like your fingers have personalities. They there's a hierarchy like I see them as like we see people like the thumb tiny but like strong, but the pinky is like the smallest of the big fingers and so it usually I feel like it doesn't get any shine. So to make an active choice of being like I'm giving attention with the smallest possible thing, I think it's powerful, Like the juxtaposition, be like I'm choosing to use the finger they call the baby finger. I think it's really taking power back. 00:43:51 Speaker 2: You're absolutely right, I love it. Why what could possibly be wrong with pointing with you? I mean, I feel like it's more accurate. It's like laser or accuracy with your pinky. There's intentionality, there's you really know you've made a choice when you're pointing with your pinky. 00:44:06 Speaker 3: If you're pointing with like your like pointer fing the point is already saying like that's the thing that you point with, Like can we. 00:44:12 Speaker 2: Not also wagging? We're immediately wagging with the finger. 00:44:17 Speaker 3: Think a pinky gives the question mark and be like, oh, I'd have to explore what that means. And that mystery is exciting. There's a mystique like if I truly pointed at you with my pinky, it gives such a different vibe. Yeah, it's like, what who is this person? They've made such a strong choice, and I love that. 00:44:37 Speaker 2: Yeah, the index is accusatory. No, it's kind of a killed joy. Yeah, it's like, oh, nobody. 00:44:44 Speaker 3: Likes that, like like I'm under aim whereas the people, oh, because it's like not aggressive. 00:44:53 Speaker 2: It's the difference between them what have I done? And what have I done? 00:44:56 Speaker 1: Yeah? 00:44:58 Speaker 2: So interesting. I mean I can't imagine any universe where that would be a curse. I hope Cally is on our side, but God only knows. Okay, you've gotten one so far. That's incredible. Number two, this is from someone named Daniel. Gift you a curse drink menus with silly titles, So like the different drinks are you know have silly names? 00:45:20 Speaker 3: Hmmm. My brain's fighting because I. 00:45:25 Speaker 2: Know I see the conflict on your face. It's incredible. 00:45:28 Speaker 3: I'm trying to feel like, Okay, where's this Where does this answer really sit? Because on one hand, I'm like, you know what, I shouldn't down any opportunity for people to like get a little bit of joy. But then on the other hand, it's like, girl, I barely like reading. Don't make this hard for me. Let me know what I'm getting. And as a person who like doesn't have a lot of drink knowledge, I'm just like I'm more interested in like what I'm consuming, So like, get this cute shit out of my face? What is in this drink? Am I gonna like this? And this gonna taste nasty? So I'm gonna say curse Also because I think it creates too strong of a sense of like fun and casualness over a substance that's can it's like pretty extreme at times, like like alcohols can be cutesy, right, take it serious, children? And if it is cutesy, are you trying to appeal to children cancer? 00:46:25 Speaker 2: You're looking out for the kids here? 00:46:27 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm looking at for the fucking kids. 00:46:29 Speaker 2: Okay, you're of course you're right. I hate the silly titles. I don't like saying silly titles for any sort of food or ice cream or drinks. I agree, so embarrassing to say aloud. Yes, And you make a great point. You don't know what's happening in the product. You may you might have like a vague idea. 00:46:47 Speaker 3: And then as a comedian and professional writer, you then open me up to critique you. Yes, because I'm like, if you just say this is what the drink is, I'm like, nice, if you say a joke or upon them like where where did this I'm from? 00:47:00 Speaker 1: No? 00:47:00 Speaker 3: No, no, are you open to pitchase? Because what is this? What do you think this is giving? 00:47:08 Speaker 2: Anytime there's a title like that for any sort of food or drink, I will narrow it down to one word, and that's how I order it. I am not saying the full title aloud. You will not catch me saying a full silly. 00:47:18 Speaker 3: Title Cafe gratitude. Oh no, I went there once. That's all you need and I was like, give me the season salad. And when I tell you, this woman would not. She was like what. I was like, you are really you love your job in a way that I have never loved anything, because you just you're really not going to let me go to this salment unless I say, like friendship. 00:47:41 Speaker 2: I was like, it's like I am strong something. 00:47:44 Speaker 3: I am frustrated. Go get my salad, Lady. 00:47:48 Speaker 2: I am not letting the weight or humiliate. Of course you knew what you were talking about, so. 00:47:55 Speaker 3: Unfair'll go get this season sala. 00:47:57 Speaker 2: You realize I'm in charge of your tip. 00:48:00 Speaker 3: I have anxiety around talking. I used to have a speech about don't make can do this. 00:48:04 Speaker 2: Just burst into tears. 00:48:06 Speaker 3: Now you know my struggles. 00:48:09 Speaker 2: Okay, well two out of two. I don't know what the rest of the game holds for you, but let's give it a shot. Number three This is from someone named Annie gif to a curse third child, baby showers. 00:48:22 Speaker 3: Curse? Why? Because why are you having three kids? Do you know the economy? I feel like similarly to how I think like rich people shouldn't have housewarmings. 00:48:38 Speaker 2: Because like it's a great point. 00:48:40 Speaker 3: You already have things, and you stop asking for stuff. Baby showered by the third baby, it's like you've already had two. Are you bad at like resourcing? Why I keep asking for stuff? It now seems like you're not prepared because you made a strong choice to have a child. 00:49:00 Speaker 2: Children are in danger. 00:49:02 Speaker 3: You've alre done this twice before. I think by this point you should have it, and having this baby shower is letting me know that you don't have it, and so you're asking for help. And if that's the case, why you're having this baby? 00:49:19 Speaker 2: Yeah? We they're asking for is much a much bigger thing than a little gift. They need serious help. 00:49:25 Speaker 3: Yes, Also, like what happens at baby showers. You play games, but that excitement is different if you already got kids, like girl, you already got kids, like like that first child, the first house, like the experience of like this is a new thing, and not saying that child, the third child is not new. The baby shower for these particular people is not new. Like we've done this hour. So wrap it up, I think, or just like call it like something else. 00:49:56 Speaker 2: Just disguise it's. 00:49:58 Speaker 3: Way till the baby is born, and then they have a birthday party. There you go, because like the shower aspects is like, Okay, we get it. You procreate. Yeah, that's how babies I'm made. So we got to give you presents every time. Okay, you get it. 00:50:16 Speaker 2: You've got three out of three, and that the list is very small. People who win. I think it's like maybe at this point eleven people or something. Wow, professional, I mean, and I'm speaking as a third child here. I think there're a curse. What a look, it's asking too much of people. And my sister just had her third daughter, and god bless, I'm so excited. But you don't have another baby shower. No, you have all this baby stuff and. 00:50:43 Speaker 3: By that time you should have a community who just like we'll see we'll give you things, but like the asking of it. But at this point you'd be like, hey, I have it, help me, help me do this, but like, don't disguise it. It's something that's fun. 00:50:59 Speaker 2: For me, certainly not it does not sound like a good time. I mean, how desperate are you for a party if you're throwing a third baby shower? 00:51:06 Speaker 3: Like, just have a party. 00:51:08 Speaker 2: There are other reasons to have one. 00:51:10 Speaker 3: Baby because no, Like I can't have a party and be like, well, i've had sex too. Time you bring me a gift, I've came. I deserve things. 00:51:27 Speaker 2: Wow, incredibly played, absolutely incredible. 00:51:29 Speaker 3: I really try to think hard. 00:51:31 Speaker 2: Yeah, I appreciate that. Have you ever been to a baby shower? 00:51:34 Speaker 3: Yes, oh you have. 00:51:35 Speaker 2: I've never been to one. What am I doing wrong? 00:51:37 Speaker 3: I've been to multiple baby showers, yes, but they were all for like again, first babies as a human, Like, this is a new experience you're about to like walk into. I think that's something to celebrate, right, But I'm not coming to another one. 00:51:55 Speaker 2: You will not see me again. 00:51:57 Speaker 3: You will not not for this, not for the celebration of this. You have a party, I'll be there. 00:52:05 Speaker 2: You can use this gift for every kid that you have excellently played. Uh. This is the final segment of the podcast. It's called I said no emails people write into I said no gifts at gmail dot com. 00:52:17 Speaker 3: Oh, people do not respect you. 00:52:18 Speaker 2: People have zero respect. And my listeners haven't never ending problems. They're writing in with questions about their problems. Thank god I'm such a giving, generous person. Otherwise these people would be I mean, I don't know who they would turn to for answers. Will you help me answer a question? 00:52:36 Speaker 3: I will. 00:52:37 Speaker 2: Okay, let's get into the dock. 00:52:39 Speaker 3: Uh. 00:52:40 Speaker 2: This is deer Bridger and predictably fabulous guests. Many years ago, I was gifted a bouquet in a beautiful vase, and let me stop right here. Just recently I forgot how to say bouquet. Do you say bok? 00:52:53 Speaker 3: I say bouquet? 00:52:53 Speaker 2: See I started, I thought it was bouquet, and then I literally googled and said, say bok. 00:53:00 Speaker 3: I thought it was bouquet, similar to the t in flint sounds. There's just some things. And now I understand like older people who's like, I'm not growing anymore, that's how I'm just like, I'm not doing that bouquet makes me sound French like, so I'm like, I'm gonna just keep saying that because I'm so happy. 00:53:17 Speaker 2: You say this. Then, because I felt like I had had like an aneurysm or something. It's like, I don't know, I think it's bouquet and I googled it. It was like, say, bok that sounds wild to me. 00:53:26 Speaker 3: Yeah, like m min bo is like b au right, b oh you And not. 00:53:33 Speaker 2: To brag, I took two years of French in middle school. So look, I can say bouquet if I want. We're fancy. 00:53:39 Speaker 3: It's like French and Spanish in the same way. 00:53:42 Speaker 2: It's such a It's an incredible word. 00:53:43 Speaker 3: Let's be k. 00:53:45 Speaker 2: Okay, we're back on board with bouquet, thank god. Okay. So I was gifted a bouquet in a beautiful vase. It has uh, it has served me well for years. But since I received it, my partner has moved in with me and has brought to my attention that I am accumulating far too many brown, beige scale items. Okay, So it sounds like the house is becoming kind of beige. The perhaps we want to vary the color schemes in our home to be fair. This was a gift. Okay, so she's addicted to beige, but this was given to her, or whoever it is that said. I attended a very casual memorial service today, interesting, very casual memorial service, and I decided to gift this vase and a bouquet of flowers I collected from my garden. To my horror, I did not know that the person who gifted me that vase even knew the loved one who we were there to memorialize, or that they were going to be at the entrance. As I brought the arrangement in, they said, hey, lovely to see you. Is that the vase I gifted you? Oh no, I froze and said yes, and that my partner wants to start varying color in the household. I love this conversation at a funeral. This is interesting. 00:54:53 Speaker 3: I'm throwing the partner under the bust immediately me. 00:55:01 Speaker 2: I got a pretty cold shoulder after that. And my question to you is is it really that wrong to regift things like vases, especially since they are vessels for flowers, which are the main gift. Best and they just left an initial e because apparently they don't want any more trouble with this person in their face. 00:55:16 Speaker 3: Yeah, what do you think I would say that the question of like, oh, is it wrong to regift a vase because of like it really left out the partly like it is a vase at a memorial, like you gave it to like a dead Like there's some like factors. Yeah, this is a fuir circumstances that it probably was not an environment where that person was like, oh so now I'm mourning and also mourning the fact that, like this person did not like my gift enough to keep it. So yes, yeah, like yes. 00:55:52 Speaker 2: I mean I think it's like, I mean, let's look at this other person's viewpoint. They're standing at the entrance of this memorial. Let's assume their husband died, they're weeping. Here comes E holding this vase. He has decided not even a living person should own this. It's only for the dead. How offensive can you get? 00:56:13 Speaker 3: And then you'd be like, well, my partner does not like beige. 00:56:18 Speaker 2: Yeah, immediately getting into like the interior decorating argument you had with your partner. 00:56:23 Speaker 3: And then I think that makes it worse because then the idea is like, oh, so you had a plethora of beage and then you made a specific choice to pick like my gifts was the weakest link, it was the first to go. Yeah, I'd be like, well, damn, I didn't know I was that low on though she'd known me you didn't like vases. 00:56:44 Speaker 2: Yeah. I think he is completely in the wrong here, And I mean, there's so many mysteries about this, like where's E's partner this funeral and what is a very casual memorial service that seems interesting to me? 00:56:56 Speaker 3: Yeah? I think that is that maybe the origin of most of the problem is that he is just too casual about everything, memorials, regifting. You got to put some steaks on thing. 00:57:07 Speaker 2: Right, You get control of your life, have some dignity, have some class. Yeah. I hope that he doesn't write back in he is a problem person. 00:57:17 Speaker 3: He is really out here hurting people, hurting so many people, I mean, hurting people that are already Hurt's. 00:57:22 Speaker 2: Partner should leave E immediately. 00:57:25 Speaker 3: That's why there was so much beige reflection of the spirit. 00:57:30 Speaker 2: There's nothing there but beige. E. Oh you're disgusting. Do not write back into the podcast. Apologize to whoever it was that get buy a new vase with some flowers. And send it to that person. 00:57:43 Speaker 3: Having a garden good for you. That's good for you. 00:57:46 Speaker 2: E ring into brag about this garden, not only a garden, but such a good garden that you can like pluck a bunch of flowers for a booh. I think I have one flower in my garden. I can I don't have a garden. Well, you've got to get one if you're going to be going to any very casual memorials. 00:58:05 Speaker 3: So I got to get people to give me gifts I can give them away. 00:58:10 Speaker 2: Well, we answered the question perfectly, and we've done an incredible service here and now I've got my gifts. I'm so happy to have them. And I've had a fantastic time with you here. 00:58:21 Speaker 3: I agree, this was a very easy and fun conversation. 00:58:26 Speaker 2: I hope that you're acl surgery and l d l l CL LCL. I'm not a good time. 00:58:35 Speaker 3: He's a business. 00:58:37 Speaker 2: I hope it goes well. We're all praying for you and thank you for being here. Of course, listener, the podcast is absolutely over. It's coming to a halt. As always, I hope you've been planning to do something after this, otherwise you're going to be flailing and freaking out about what is next in your day, and I hate to hear that for you, so please try to just make decent decisions in your life. Come back another time. The podcast is over. I love you, goodbye, I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend Annalise Nilson, and it's beautifully mixed by Leona Squilatchi. And we couldn't do it without our guest booker Patrick Kottner. The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said no Gifts, I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts? 00:59:45 Speaker 3: I invit? 00:59:46 Speaker 1: Did you hear? Funa Man myself perfectly clear? But you're a guess, Tom, you gotta come to me tea And I said, no, guest, your own presence is presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me