Speaker 1: Episode two oh three, how Maggie paid off her mortgage
Speaker 1: as a single mom. Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast,
Speaker 1: where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity, rights, and
Speaker 1: liver with your life. Here your host Jen and Jill Ooo.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen,
Speaker 1: my name is Jill, and today we are sharing a
Speaker 1: really cool debt payoff story with our good friend Maggie
Speaker 1: from Friends on Fire podcast. They aren't really on fire,
Speaker 1: don't don't be alarmed, right, Yeah, they are friends who
Speaker 1: talk about personal finance and fire and financial independence, retiring,
Speaker 1: you know, you know it, those things. So Maggie actually
Speaker 1: paid off her mortgage after divorce as a single mom,
Speaker 1: and she's just a really fun, down to earth person.
Speaker 1: And I think any of our single mom listeners out
Speaker 1: there will be able to relate. I mean, even if
Speaker 1: you're not a single mom. But I hope that you
Speaker 1: will find inspiration from Maggie's story today. But first, our
Speaker 1: sponsors National Grammar Day. You know it, We're all excited.
Speaker 1: Today is the one day a year when it's acceptable
Speaker 1: to correct your friends and family on their misuse of
Speaker 1: it's and it's if you're a grammar nerd. We'd love
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Speaker 1: Frugal Living and tell us all about our grammatical errors
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Speaker 1: That's Frugal Friends Podcast dot com slash e book. But
Speaker 1: you can only correct us on National Grammar Day, Yeah
Speaker 1: only today. This episode is also brought to you by
Speaker 1: the Things we Do for Toddlers. Tomorrow, I'll be taking
Speaker 1: time out of my weekend to pay money to take
Speaker 1: a train ride on a very useful engine. If you know.
Speaker 1: You know, and it saddens me to say that I
Speaker 1: am excited about it. It's easy to get excited about
Speaker 1: all the weird things we do for toddlers, but we
Speaker 1: have to prioritize what we do because they will not
Speaker 1: remember any of this. And you're excited now, but all
Speaker 1: you'll be left with is a toy that will end
Speaker 1: up on Facebook Marketplace or a picture that gets lost
Speaker 1: on your phone. So the things we do for toddler's
Speaker 1: intentionally choose them, or you may lose all the space
Speaker 1: in your house and all your weekends. I gotta say, Jen,
Speaker 1: I don't think this is the weirdest thing you've done
Speaker 1: for your toddler. Absolutely, Oh this is not this, Absolutely not.
Speaker 1: I've heard said it was a weird Yeah, a weird day.
Speaker 1: Oh well, that sounds fun. I'm glad that you're gonna
Speaker 1: do that. It's a small slow train ride, right. If
Speaker 1: you will be on a small slow train ride anytime soon,
Speaker 1: then you may want to queue up some more episodes
Speaker 1: of Frugal Friends to listen to after this. So we
Speaker 1: have a few other debt payoff stories that we think
Speaker 1: you'll like. Episode one forty three, how Lydia Sen paid
Speaker 1: off thirty six thousand dollars of debt on one income
Speaker 1: and she had three kids at the time and her
Speaker 1: husband only worked so they were a family of five
Speaker 1: and paid that off. An episode one ten paying off
Speaker 1: forty six thousand dollars of debt in a high cost
Speaker 1: of living area with Nurse Fern. She is a single
Speaker 1: nurse who paid off debt all on her own in
Speaker 1: a high cost of living area. So wherever you fall
Speaker 1: on the spectrum family, single kids, no kids, we've got
Speaker 1: something for you. Between these three episodes. Yes, so listening, Yes, Maggie.
Speaker 1: Today our interview with Maggie. She is fantastic. We were
Speaker 1: on her show, Gosh a long time ago. It's a
Speaker 1: long time ago, but she is the co host, like
Speaker 1: we said, of one of our favorite shows, Friends on Fire,
Speaker 1: and I'm sure you don't need to ask why we
Speaker 1: love it. And just like us, Maggie is passionate about minimalism,
Speaker 1: simple living and helping people on their journeys through life.
Speaker 1: So she lives in Atlanta, Georgia with her husband and
Speaker 1: three daughters. But not long ago, she was a divorced
Speaker 1: single mom getting out of debt on her own, and
Speaker 1: we hope you find her story as inspiring as we did.
Speaker 1: Here we go, let's get into it. Maggie. Welcome to
Speaker 1: the Frugal Friends podcast. We are so excited to have
Speaker 1: you here. Thank you so much. I appreciate you having
Speaker 1: me here. It was an honor to be on your show,
Speaker 1: and you know the spirit of reciprocity. We could not
Speaker 1: not have you on our show, especially as we're trying
Speaker 1: to highlight debt payoff stories. And you've definitely got a
Speaker 1: unique angle that I think our listeners are really desirous
Speaker 1: of to see, well, what about this life situation and
Speaker 1: what about that life situation? So thank you so much
Speaker 1: for being willing to come on and share how you
Speaker 1: accomplished what you accomplished with some very significant barriers as well. Yeah. Sure,
Speaker 1: happy too. Yeah, so to jump right in, you have
Speaker 1: shared with us previously that you paid off your mortgage,
Speaker 1: and just curious how and why you decided to do that.
Speaker 1: I know that there's different angles that people take and
Speaker 1: some say do it, some say don't. How and why
Speaker 1: did you decide that this was going to be the
Speaker 1: right move for you? Yeah, that is a great question,
Speaker 1: because quite honestly, I didn't spend a lot of time
Speaker 1: thinking about it and or even trying to articulate how
Speaker 1: and why until you just asked me that question. Until
Speaker 1: you asked me that question, you know, a couple of
Speaker 1: days ago. And I say that because it just was
Speaker 1: something I was in the mode of. Right. I almost
Speaker 1: can't explain why I never liked debt. I was about thirty, Sorry,
Speaker 1: I was about thirty when I moved to a fifteen
Speaker 1: year mortgage, which was the first step of that. But
Speaker 1: I just I always wanted to pay off any debt
Speaker 1: I had as quickly as I could whether students, so
Speaker 1: I did the same thing with student loans. I was
Speaker 1: practically paying them off, you know, within like a year
Speaker 1: of getting them in grad school as a um, when
Speaker 1: I was out of when I was working at that point.
Speaker 1: But I just I just was always in this motive.
Speaker 1: I don't like debt, I don't like something hanging over
Speaker 1: my head. And I liked the idea of a lower
Speaker 1: cost of living and just removing a huge bill that was,
Speaker 1: you know, in my life every month. And I wasn't
Speaker 1: necessarily as focused on the financial element of comparing. Yes,
Speaker 1: my interest rate was low versus you know, something versus
Speaker 1: what I could get in the market. Like, I wasn't
Speaker 1: doing that analysis. I was like, it feels good, I
Speaker 1: emotionally want to pay it off, and I'm going to
Speaker 1: pay it off. I love that we here got a
Speaker 1: lot from people who choose to go that direction, And
Speaker 1: of course our perspective is freedom and what works for you,
Speaker 1: and not wanting to shame any direction if it's wise,
Speaker 1: if it's intentional thought out and you have the ability
Speaker 1: to do it. But I don't want to put aside that,
Speaker 1: oh that's not as important as yeah, the interest that
Speaker 1: you could make in the market versus what you have
Speaker 1: on your mortgage. Like why it's interesting to me that
Speaker 1: that seems to be less than for a lot of
Speaker 1: people as a reason to do it. But there's so
Speaker 1: much weight in value to what you're describing of the
Speaker 1: freedom that it's going to create. What it does to
Speaker 1: you mentally, emotionally, relationally to know that this is hanging
Speaker 1: over you and you have the ability to pay it off.
Speaker 1: Of course, it takes a lot more determination to do that.
Speaker 1: Have you experience like what you thought it might give
Speaker 1: to you and having it paid off didn't create more? Yeah, freedom, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've I love. I love to use the word freedom.
Speaker 1: I'm brevity is not my strong suit. So when when
Speaker 1: I was rambling on about how and why and then
Speaker 1: you summed it up with the word freedom, I was like, yes, freedom,
Speaker 1: that's why I did it, right, It feels really good.
Speaker 1: And yes, I have bared the fruits of you know,
Speaker 1: my labor, and I do feel that freedom. And I've
Speaker 1: felt it since it was that I paid it off
Speaker 1: or a few maybe nineteen And yes, I feel that
Speaker 1: I've been able to I got really aggressive on my
Speaker 1: on a deferred compensation program that my company has. I
Speaker 1: was able to do that because I didn't have a
Speaker 1: mortgage to pay every month. Um, we started actually paying
Speaker 1: off a rental property after that, which we were able
Speaker 1: to move to because we didn't have a mortgage, right,
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't have that big piece of debt
Speaker 1: held over my head. And so yeah, I've had a
Speaker 1: lot more flexibility of what I can do with my
Speaker 1: money now. Yeah, so you are, you're married, now, you
Speaker 1: have three daughters, but when you were paying off your mortgage,
Speaker 1: you were actually a single mom. So how how did
Speaker 1: the decision, like after your divorce, how did the decision
Speaker 1: to pay off the mortgage? How did those two things intersect? Well,
Speaker 1: the timeline is is kind of funny. So when I
Speaker 1: was referencing being thirty a while ago, around when I
Speaker 1: was around thirty, I was married to my first husband still,
Speaker 1: so we were married for about ten years, and about
Speaker 1: a year before we got divorced, we decided to move
Speaker 1: to a fifteen year mortgage. And that was a really
Speaker 1: big step. And the reason that was a big step
Speaker 1: is because it forced us to pay almost a double mortgage. Right,
Speaker 1: our mortgage was I think it was around a month,
Speaker 1: and that was a bit of a stretch for us
Speaker 1: at the time. I mean, since then, you know, my
Speaker 1: salary has increased, but it was a stretch at the time.
Speaker 1: And so that was the first step of just paying
Speaker 1: much more towards principle every month. And then again about
Speaker 1: a year into that, I got divorced and I wasn't
Speaker 1: expecting or planning on that, and I probably at the
Speaker 1: time actually would have I think at the time I
Speaker 1: was a little annoyed that I had a fifteen year
Speaker 1: mortgage because I was like, well, I wouldn't have done
Speaker 1: that if I had known this was going to happen.
Speaker 1: And I wouldn't have said because I'm now that's sort
Speaker 1: of stuck with this massive payment. And for a number
Speaker 1: of reasons, I ended up with the house. I grew
Speaker 1: up in this neighborhood. I had a lot of nostalgia
Speaker 1: in this area, and it was just clear that like
Speaker 1: I was gonna was going to you know, buy out
Speaker 1: the house basically um. And so at that point I
Speaker 1: already had this big payment. I was already kind of
Speaker 1: on this journey, and at first I had a bit
Speaker 1: of a freak out moment again of thinking why did
Speaker 1: I do a fifteen year mortgage? And then once I
Speaker 1: did the math and really kind of looked at it,
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, I can still afford this mortgage
Speaker 1: on my own, right. I never thought about paying it
Speaker 1: on my own, but I can't afford it on my own,
Speaker 1: and I happened. You know, I was very lucky that
Speaker 1: I did have a high enough salary to be able
Speaker 1: to afford that on my own. And then I still
Speaker 1: was just really aggressive and had that same vision of saying,
Speaker 1: I want to be debt free, right, and I have
Speaker 1: the feeling of being able to pay this off. So
Speaker 1: I realized I could afford that monthly payment on my own,
Speaker 1: and then as I was getting like annual bonuses at work,
Speaker 1: I would put the entire amount towards the principle. I
Speaker 1: think it was really I think what struck me the
Speaker 1: most is that you were You didn't want that verden,
Speaker 1: You didn't anticipate it, you didn't plan for it, which
Speaker 1: how so many financial obligations fall on us. And instead
Speaker 1: of like feeling victimized or waiting or being paralyzed by fear,
Speaker 1: you just so quickly took action. And it's so impressive
Speaker 1: to see like it just took kind of like a
Speaker 1: kind of like a budget inventory for you to be like,
Speaker 1: which I didn't do at the time. Threat Yeah, at
Speaker 1: the time, I didn't track my neck worth, I didn't
Speaker 1: track my expense. Things I do now, but things that
Speaker 1: I didn't know to dude, didn't thing to do. I
Speaker 1: was pretty good with money. I was pretty frugal. But yes,
Speaker 1: I did. I in fairness, I did have a little
Speaker 1: bit of a victim response in the very beginning, but
Speaker 1: I quit pretty quickly snapped out of it and was like,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, I could, like you said, I did
Speaker 1: the math. I started realizing, you know, the reality of it,
Speaker 1: and I took charge to say, you know what, I
Speaker 1: I don't have to have this mortgage and I want
Speaker 1: to aggressively pay it off. And I didn't really think
Speaker 1: about the future and what I get remarried, when I
Speaker 1: meet somebody, you know, all these things. I was just like,
Speaker 1: I want to pay this house off. This is now
Speaker 1: like my asset that I own, and I put a
Speaker 1: lot into it. And we had just done a big
Speaker 1: remodel on our house too, and so I was pretty
Speaker 1: invested emotionally and physically and financially in this house, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I can pay it off, right, And
Speaker 1: I started to get a sense of how long it
Speaker 1: would take me, especially if I kept putting my full
Speaker 1: bonus towards it every year. I do think that this
Speaker 1: is worth highlighting a bit because this particular part of
Speaker 1: your story of being in the midst of a divorce,
Speaker 1: then moving into being a single mom, and then having
Speaker 1: all of these various financial obligations, which is true of
Speaker 1: many people. I think that for those listeners who find
Speaker 1: themselves in a similar place, like this is the spot
Speaker 1: that we're zeroing in on of Okay, well, what what
Speaker 1: is here for me? And I feel I think anyone
Speaker 1: in that situation, regardless of your income, so okay, fantastic
Speaker 1: that you were able to cover that new fifteen year
Speaker 1: mortgage on your own awesome. May not be everybody's situation. However,
Speaker 1: you are still human, and that life situation could still
Speaker 1: be very paralyzing, very debilitating, cause you to make decisions
Speaker 1: that aren't actually beneficial and maybe even destructive for yourself financially, relationally, mentally.
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that it went perfect, and you're
Speaker 1: not saying that either, but there was something that happened
Speaker 1: here where perspective shift or mentality that a choice when
Speaker 1: at this kind of crossroads of deep pain to say,
Speaker 1: I'm still going to make good decisions for myself and
Speaker 1: actually here's what's available to me. Can you just speak
Speaker 1: to that a little bit? What was that? Like? What's
Speaker 1: interesting that I can't admit to having this epiphany until
Speaker 1: just now as you were saying what you were saying,
Speaker 1: which was very insightful by the way, it was a
Speaker 1: time of pain. It was it was actually one of
Speaker 1: the first times in my life that I felt significant failure, right,
Speaker 1: Like I failed at something and I actually, and again
Speaker 1: this isn't hindsight, right now, realized that gave me paying
Speaker 1: off my mortgage gave me something I could control, right,
Speaker 1: It gave me something I could manage and that I
Speaker 1: could do on my own and feel accomplished by. And
Speaker 1: it was something I could do right, I could own it.
Speaker 1: I was again I control is an important word, like
Speaker 1: it was something I could control in a world right
Speaker 1: then when I couldn't control anything. Right, when I was
Speaker 1: I was sad for my daughter, thinking I never wanted
Speaker 1: her to grow. Not that I mean, she's got a
Speaker 1: great life, but not that I wanted her to grow
Speaker 1: up in a divorced family, and just all these things
Speaker 1: where I was like, this isn't you know. She was
Speaker 1: like under two at that point, and I was like,
Speaker 1: this isn't the life I wanted for her? Right And
Speaker 1: and it was sad and I was having um just
Speaker 1: you know, all of these feelings and emotions. And again
Speaker 1: it gave me something I could control and that I
Speaker 1: could focus on. And I and and financially too, I
Speaker 1: leaned into being really good about my finances during that time.
Speaker 1: It was a bit of a wake up call. It
Speaker 1: was a bit of a time to reassess everything and
Speaker 1: kind of rebirth and renew if you will, it's excellent, Maggie.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times we use that word
Speaker 1: control in a negative way. It sounds like a bad thing,
Speaker 1: but really it's what we do with that. We all
Speaker 1: have power, influence and control over something things that goes
Speaker 1: wrong when we try and have control over the things
Speaker 1: that we don't actually have control over. But when we
Speaker 1: can find beneficial things to exert our right power and
Speaker 1: influence and control, it can be really beneficial for us,
Speaker 1: especially at those points of deep pain and difficulty. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's very true. Absolutely feel like I'm in therapy. By
Speaker 1: the way, this is really helpful, ladies, very helpful. I am.
Speaker 1: I am the faitist for my day jobs. Sometimes the
Speaker 1: end of the cleansing only if you come back. So, so,
Speaker 1: during this journey of paying off this mortgage, what sacrifices
Speaker 1: did you have to make? And would you change anything
Speaker 1: about the experience or journey? So I was. I am
Speaker 1: incredibly fortunate in that I don't feel like I had
Speaker 1: to make a lot of sacrifice quite honestly, right, which
Speaker 1: in some ways I've said to people, you know, it
Speaker 1: makes my story less approachable to others in some way.
Speaker 1: But I will say, you know, the one sacrifice I
Speaker 1: made for where I was in my life and in
Speaker 1: the world I was. I was continuing to do pretty
Speaker 1: well at work and and get some bigger, more senior promotions.
Speaker 1: The sacrifice I made was I didn't inflate my lifestyle,
Speaker 1: and everybody around me was inflating their lifestyle. Right, The
Speaker 1: people I was around every day were at a similar
Speaker 1: level that I was at. They were also making more money,
Speaker 1: they were buying bigger houses, they were moving to bigger,
Speaker 1: more expensive neighborhoods, they were putting a pool. These are real,
Speaker 1: real stuff. They were putting a pool in their backyard.
Speaker 1: They were driving into the parking deck in a seventy car.
Speaker 1: And so I was making good money. So I don't
Speaker 1: feel like I had to make any sacrifices, especially from
Speaker 1: the lifestyle that I was used to growing up and
Speaker 1: that I had kind of become accustomed to as an adult. Also,
Speaker 1: I knew that all of those other things that people
Speaker 1: around me were doing wasn't going to bring me lasting happiness.
Speaker 1: And so the true kind of quote sacrifice that I
Speaker 1: made was that I just continued living the same lifestyle
Speaker 1: that I had been living earlier in my life. And again,
Speaker 1: I mean even nicer than you know what, I even
Speaker 1: nicer than what I had become accustomed to when I
Speaker 1: was growing up. But that really is you know Again,
Speaker 1: I was putting my bonuses every year, which was, you know,
Speaker 1: a big chunk of money against my mortgage, and so
Speaker 1: I was giving up what I could have otherwise done
Speaker 1: with that bonus, which again was nothing that was going
Speaker 1: to bring me lasting happiness anyway. But I was still
Speaker 1: able to travel, I was still able to afford the
Speaker 1: things that were important to me. But there were there
Speaker 1: weren't a lot of things that were important to me.
Speaker 1: I think you're right about that part being approachable for everybody.
Speaker 1: The lifestyle inflation peace any any one of us, whether
Speaker 1: or not our incomes actually increasing, we may want to
Speaker 1: inflate our lifestyle just because of what those around us
Speaker 1: are doing. I think lifestyle and flay can happen in
Speaker 1: either way, either because we've gotten a raise or just
Speaker 1: because our friends have gotten a raise and we want
Speaker 1: to live the lives that they're living. So I think
Speaker 1: in that there's there is still sacrifice, and there are
Speaker 1: still decisions that you had to make to say, Okay,
Speaker 1: life is very different, and however much money you were
Speaker 1: bringing in at the time, it is still less than
Speaker 1: having two incomes as a married person, so certainly changes
Speaker 1: that had to happen there. So I think that piece
Speaker 1: of maintaining what what is right for you and identifying
Speaker 1: the goals that are going to work for you is
Speaker 1: what I think we can take from what you're sharing here. Maggie,
Speaker 1: did it feel isolating while you were watching other people
Speaker 1: pay that or do you feel like you had a
Speaker 1: good support network outside of work where you didn't feel
Speaker 1: overall isolated. It's a great question. I definitely had a
Speaker 1: good support system of my good friends from from actually
Speaker 1: like high school and childhood that we're living similar lifestyles
Speaker 1: to me, and so had I been inflating, like I
Speaker 1: would have been different than all of them in many ways.
Speaker 1: And so I did have a good group of core
Speaker 1: friends and we were all living just no, I mean,
Speaker 1: normal middle class lives, right, And so yeah, I definitely
Speaker 1: had way more influences around some coworkers and and former
Speaker 1: co workers, current coworkers kind of a mix that were like,
Speaker 1: you know, going to dinner at the Four Seasons, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm cool with you know, like a
Speaker 1: ten dollar burrito for dinner if I'm even going to
Speaker 1: eat out right, And so yeah, we were, we were.
Speaker 1: I did have those influences, but I had enough that
Speaker 1: we're in my kind of closer inner circle that I
Speaker 1: didn't feel a lot of like pure pressure in my
Speaker 1: day to day life. And again, where I came from
Speaker 1: also was a very very kind of basic middle class upbringing,
Speaker 1: So I never had I've talked to people before that
Speaker 1: sort of joke that they've become accustomed to a certain
Speaker 1: lifestyle because of how they grew up. I didn't have
Speaker 1: that barrier, right, I. I actually didn't know what to
Speaker 1: do with some of the money I had because of
Speaker 1: the way I grew up. I was like, what do
Speaker 1: I do? You know? Like, and that's when you know,
Speaker 1: I can lean into things that we're good to do
Speaker 1: with my money, like paying off my mortgage. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: I'd also like the listeners to know it's not like
Speaker 1: you're like a doctor or like a neuro physicist or
Speaker 1: something like with your income, like you're like a normal
Speaker 1: person with an m b A. Like yeah, with a job,
Speaker 1: and you just you like worked your way up, so
Speaker 1: like you consider it high income, but like it's actually
Speaker 1: an attainable income. Oh yeah, for putting in the work
Speaker 1: that you did. Yeah, if you wanted to work in
Speaker 1: corporate America and get a you know, I worked in
Speaker 1: like e commerce marketing to general kind of business job,
Speaker 1: and yeah, I totally worked my way up from I
Speaker 1: went to a state school. I was on the local
Speaker 1: state scholarship that you get for having good enough grades
Speaker 1: in Georgia, and I were I had a pretty kind
Speaker 1: of somewhat normal job coming out of college. Good job,
Speaker 1: but normal job. And yes, I worked my way up
Speaker 1: slowly and what happened to be a very version and
Speaker 1: growing field of digital at the time. So it's also
Speaker 1: encouraging to hear, Maggie the choices that you make even
Speaker 1: with what you would describe as a relatively higher income,
Speaker 1: in that it doesn't have to equate to that meaning
Speaker 1: a certain lifestyle or how you spend your money. I
Speaker 1: think sometimes not most of our long time listeners, but
Speaker 1: sometimes we might utilize frugality to become wealthy and then
Speaker 1: put all of the things aside. Like some people can
Speaker 1: have the mentality that like, this is how I'm going
Speaker 1: to get rich like sidebar, not true. Uh, there are
Speaker 1: some practices that can certainly help us to build wealth.
Speaker 1: But it is really encouraging to hear from someone who
Speaker 1: you know. For some of our listeners might view this
Speaker 1: as like, that's where I want to get to, like
Speaker 1: that other side of having a mortgage paid off and
Speaker 1: being debt free, and yet it doesn't mean for you
Speaker 1: that it looks a certain way, like I still live
Speaker 1: relatively modestly and here's what I choose to do with
Speaker 1: my finances as a result, And so it's not just
Speaker 1: a means to an end. But an actual lifestyle. That's
Speaker 1: very true. So this being said, Maggie, I'm curious to
Speaker 1: know what the impact from your perspective is on your
Speaker 1: daughters with some of these financial decisions that you've made.
Speaker 1: I imagine, as you describe, your life could have looked different.
Speaker 1: I bet their life could have looked different to what
Speaker 1: do you see for them. Yeah, their life could have
Speaker 1: looked different, but they also have an amazing life, which
Speaker 1: I constantly try to remind them and to keep to
Speaker 1: keep this in perspective. My daughters are now between ten
Speaker 1: and thirteen. So I say that because we have very
Speaker 1: different stations than I was having with like a four
Speaker 1: year old, right, Like, we have much more you know
Speaker 1: what i'd call like adult. They're they're they're old enough,
Speaker 1: especially the thirteen year old. But I'd say the biggest
Speaker 1: thing is, you know, we talk about money incredibly openly
Speaker 1: in our household, right and we I've joked, not to them,
Speaker 1: but I've joked to friends like, I want my kids
Speaker 1: to think that we're poor, right, that we're like that.
Speaker 1: I want I don't want them to think they have
Speaker 1: a lot of money and a lot of options, Like
Speaker 1: I don't believe that does much good for them in
Speaker 1: their life, short term or long term, and so I
Speaker 1: want them. I like, I love the feeling of not
Speaker 1: having to worry about a lot for them. Right. I
Speaker 1: know they're gonna be okay. I know they're gonna have
Speaker 1: what they need for college and other things, but they're
Speaker 1: gonna have to work for it, right, and they're gonna
Speaker 1: have some skin in the game, and all these other
Speaker 1: things I believe in. But I'd say, you know, the
Speaker 1: biggest impact it's had on my daughters is they understand
Speaker 1: the value of money, and they we've driven into them
Speaker 1: over the years slowly the value of experiences over things.
Speaker 1: They know that we will splurge on travel and that
Speaker 1: they'll get some Really, I mean, they have been more
Speaker 1: places in the world than I had been before I
Speaker 1: was thirty, right, and they're not thirteen, you know, they're
Speaker 1: under all under thirteen, and so they they understand the
Speaker 1: value of experiences over things like to me, I am,
Speaker 1: I am slowly every day trying to make them more
Speaker 1: conscious consumers that value money and value experiences and don't
Speaker 1: and recognize that they don't need a lot of stuff
Speaker 1: or fancy stuff to be happy. Yeah, do you so?
Speaker 1: Do you have an example of maybe one time conversation
Speaker 1: came up about money, like recently, I know it's yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I say recently. This happens like we were
Speaker 1: I can't even remember this conversation we were having last night,
Speaker 1: but it was it was a follow on. Eventually, when
Speaker 1: I start talking to them about certain things, they're like, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: we got it. Like they're just they're like the points made,
Speaker 1: you can stop talking, which is one of their favorite
Speaker 1: things too, Just like, let me know to stop um,
Speaker 1: because I can really, I can really nail a point
Speaker 1: in if I want to, you know, I don't let
Speaker 1: that go. And so, you know, frequently we will pass
Speaker 1: a house, um, someone's car, and they'll make a reference
Speaker 1: that says, oh, wow, they must be rich. And I
Speaker 1: have to be careful because I've actually caught myself saying
Speaker 1: things to them that I'll hear repeated back and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's not the point I was trying to make, you know,
Speaker 1: And so I sometimes will say like, hey, just so
Speaker 1: you know, a big house doesn't mean someone's rich. You
Speaker 1: don't know if they're in deep debt. You don't know
Speaker 1: if they're you know, living paycheck to paycheck in that house.
Speaker 1: I said, you know, the house you guys live in
Speaker 1: living is paid for and you don't ever have to
Speaker 1: worry about anything happening to it, right, And we've prioritized that,
Speaker 1: and so those are those sorts of you know, discussions
Speaker 1: will have and they'll make the same reference to somebody's car.
Speaker 1: I'll be asking about, uh, you know, there was something
Speaker 1: going on with some kid at school and I'm trying
Speaker 1: to teach them empathy and I'm like, look, you don't
Speaker 1: know what that kid's life is, like, you know, like,
Speaker 1: don't make a judgment. And they're like, oh, yeah, he
Speaker 1: drives a parents d have a g Wagon when they
Speaker 1: pick him. And I'm like, okay, well that doesn't mean
Speaker 1: anything either, right, Like you know you can't. It's funny
Speaker 1: what kids are aware of already. I don't remember knowing
Speaker 1: what a g Wagon was when I was a kid.
Speaker 1: I don't think I done of a Mercedes. Don't know
Speaker 1: it's a it's like a really high end Mercedes. Sorry
Speaker 1: I'm telling I over here, like we still don't get
Speaker 1: I would have to google it exactly, but I believe
Speaker 1: it is a very expensive car. Yes, Uh, And what's
Speaker 1: crazy is that my kids even know what a g
Speaker 1: wagon is? It says, I just googled it. The m
Speaker 1: s r P of a g wagon is a hundred
Speaker 1: and thirty three thousand dollars. Never that's attainable. Yes, but
Speaker 1: that's an example, and I mean there's there's other examples.
Speaker 1: But we just we have we talk very openly, and
Speaker 1: I'm very cautious because on the flip side, I try
Speaker 1: to say, look that they may also be really responsible
Speaker 1: with their money, and we're not gonna we don't know
Speaker 1: that we're gonna make judgments either way. But I was like,
Speaker 1: but don't look at something that looks you know, quote
Speaker 1: fancy on the outside and make a judgment like, oh,
Speaker 1: that person must be rich, right, because you don't. You
Speaker 1: don't know that you know. And the thing we all know,
Speaker 1: which is you know the millionaire next door, right, You
Speaker 1: can't you can't look at somebody on the outside to
Speaker 1: make a judgment about what's happening behind the scenes. And
Speaker 1: so those are often the conversations we're having about money,
Speaker 1: and then also a little bit of valuing how much
Speaker 1: time it might take you to earn the money you
Speaker 1: need to spend on something. So trying to let them
Speaker 1: have some appreciation for why I won't buy somebody who's
Speaker 1: still growing. I would consider buying a fully grown child
Speaker 1: appare of Lulu Lemon tights because they might last a
Speaker 1: very long time for them. But I will not buy
Speaker 1: a ten year old a pair of Lulu Lemon tights.
Speaker 1: I just won't do it. And I have to explain
Speaker 1: at and and I do You're gonna grow, and that's
Speaker 1: your fault. Yeah, it sounds like your intentionality with finances
Speaker 1: has led to your intentionality with teaching your kids about finances.
Speaker 1: And I think as I'm hearing you talk, it's occurring
Speaker 1: to me that those two go hand in hand. That
Speaker 1: where we become more aware of what we're doing and
Speaker 1: what we want to see, what's going to bring freedom
Speaker 1: for us financially, regardless of our circumstances. It's going to
Speaker 1: help us to be able to educate those around us,
Speaker 1: whether it's friends or family children. And I appreciate what
Speaker 1: you're highlighting here too, and it connects with something. So
Speaker 1: I don't have kids, but Jen has a son, and
Speaker 1: you obviously have three daughters. And when we talk with
Speaker 1: others about their their kids and those who are aware
Speaker 1: of what they're saying. I think the piece of that
Speaker 1: money has value to it. And I think Jen also
Speaker 1: says with with Kai, what she wants to teach him
Speaker 1: is that resources aren't unlimited. And those two ideas that
Speaker 1: I'm hearing from you, Maggie, that I've heard from Jen,
Speaker 1: like that has stuck with me. And I think for children,
Speaker 1: holy smokes, is that an amazing tip for parenting. But
Speaker 1: I think for myself as well, like, how am I
Speaker 1: approaching this in the reality that it's not unlimited? And
Speaker 1: in that way, how do I want to then spend
Speaker 1: invest in these limited resources? How am I going to
Speaker 1: choose to do that? Again, regardless of my circumstances. For
Speaker 1: you as a divorce single mom, I know that you're
Speaker 1: remarried now, congratulations. Um, but yeah, just that intentionality stands
Speaker 1: out to me. Yeah, I love the word intentionality. Also
Speaker 1: is another great way to kind of summarize the theme.
Speaker 1: There one other thing that I'll note, which especially just
Speaker 1: on the angle of anyone that's listening to this that
Speaker 1: is divorced or remarried, that I think might help people,
Speaker 1: which is a unique dynamic to the conversation we just
Speaker 1: had with kids, is So those three kids I mentioned,
Speaker 1: so one of them is mine, two of them are
Speaker 1: my stepdaughters, and my husband. I might have been remarried
Speaker 1: for about I was gonna say about five years. Don't
Speaker 1: pin me on the exact date, Um I could, I
Speaker 1: could tell you. I blame it one for the fact
Speaker 1: that I just don't know, like what year we're in,
Speaker 1: and I don't know how I'm not I'm very confused
Speaker 1: by time. These are evergreen episodes, right, But the dynamic
Speaker 1: of being in a divorced blended families essentially, right, is
Speaker 1: all those lessons about money, I can only teach them
Speaker 1: when they're in my house, right, so we each have
Speaker 1: x is and then they're remarried. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: influences in their lives, right, And so the things that
Speaker 1: they get to do in some of their other households
Speaker 1: that they u in and out of right with joint
Speaker 1: custody obviously is different and I and that's one thing
Speaker 1: we have had to have some very open discussions about
Speaker 1: because not only do you with well, I'll simplify this
Speaker 1: by saying, you've got the dynamics of one set of
Speaker 1: kids that are going in and out of two different households,
Speaker 1: and then you've got the dynamics of the fact that
Speaker 1: they're coming into a household with other kids. Right. And
Speaker 1: so my daughter, for example, sees things that my stepdaughters
Speaker 1: get from their mom. And no judgment whatsoever there, But
Speaker 1: I'm just saying she makes different decisions about what she's
Speaker 1: willing to give her kids and and do and how
Speaker 1: often they eat out, and just all these different things.
Speaker 1: And it's different than mine and my husband, right, which
Speaker 1: is their father. Right. And so I probably confused anyone
Speaker 1: with the family dynamics there. But the point is any
Speaker 1: blended family is right. The point is you've got you
Speaker 1: are not just you know in one of the frustrating
Speaker 1: aspects of all things of you know, blended families is
Speaker 1: you are not alone in your influence on that child. Right,
Speaker 1: you have to your co parenting with other people that
Speaker 1: you were no longer in a your in a relationship
Speaker 1: a co parenting relationship with them now. But the thing
Speaker 1: that I would tell people, and that I've learned through
Speaker 1: myself and also through through a therapist, that a child
Speaker 1: therapist that once said this is, you know, kids are
Speaker 1: incredibly resilient. They know and start to learn what the
Speaker 1: dynamics are in one household, and so don't you, like,
Speaker 1: as the adult in the picture, don't stress yourself out
Speaker 1: worrying about like back to that control word and work
Speaker 1: and have a negative connotation. Don't stress yourself out worrying
Speaker 1: about what you can't control, which is what's happening in
Speaker 1: other households and the values they might be teaching about
Speaker 1: money and everything else. Focus on what you are doing
Speaker 1: in your household and know that your kids will adjust
Speaker 1: and they will soak up their sponges, they will soak
Speaker 1: up all the different influences around them, and they're going
Speaker 1: to make their own decisions ultimately anyways. And I think
Speaker 1: that's just an important point because all of these, all
Speaker 1: of this this intentionality that I want to give to
Speaker 1: my daughter, I'm only one of the influences in their lives,
Speaker 1: right and I can only give it to them some
Speaker 1: of the time, and I can't control all the other
Speaker 1: influences in their lives. And that's true for any parent,
Speaker 1: regardless of blended or not. Yeah, I mean, I appreciate
Speaker 1: what you're highlighting there, but I think you know that's
Speaker 1: that's going to be the case for anybody. And so
Speaker 1: walking out your values is going to be the most
Speaker 1: beneficial thing that you can do for your kids rather
Speaker 1: than I mean, lectures are great, but it will be
Speaker 1: the scene and the cot and the modeled that is
Speaker 1: the most important. And of course love and care and consistency,
Speaker 1: but that's a whole other parenting conversation, so many things. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I I totally resonate with that. I mean, my son's
Speaker 1: two and a half, so we don't have to worry
Speaker 1: about like that. But having had like so many outside
Speaker 1: bound like so many outside influences as a child about money,
Speaker 1: where my parents never talked about money, and so I
Speaker 1: caught more from outside than I did from inside the home.
Speaker 1: And so the fact also that you're so willing to
Speaker 1: talk about money will mean the influence will be even
Speaker 1: more powerful than what is caught visually and experienced. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so let's let's talk a little bit about remarrying and
Speaker 1: how you handled the finances there. I know you you
Speaker 1: finished paying off your mortgage just a smidge after you
Speaker 1: got remarried, um, but still did it on your own,
Speaker 1: But like, so how the rest of your finances? How
Speaker 1: did you handle that? Because I think some people would
Speaker 1: find that really interesting so I'd say two big things
Speaker 1: in terms of kind of how I handled how I
Speaker 1: handled my finances and also how we do handle our
Speaker 1: finances now, and I have I did just do the
Speaker 1: math in my head. This summer will be our five
Speaker 1: year anniversary. Um so I do, I do know how
Speaker 1: long I've been remarried. Time has just still lately. Um So.
Speaker 1: The two big things are prenup, which also has a
Speaker 1: lot of negative connotations. I'm huge proprene up and I'm
Speaker 1: happy to get into why, and separate finances, which there's
Speaker 1: also I personally think a lot of benefits to in
Speaker 1: general though no judgment because it doesn't work for a
Speaker 1: lot of people, but those two things have worked really
Speaker 1: well for us, and so on the pre nup front. Look,
Speaker 1: I was kind of burned on my and I don't
Speaker 1: mean I don't mean burned like something terrible happened. I
Speaker 1: just mean, like I when I got divorced, I was
Speaker 1: not expecting it. It wasn't something I kind of even
Speaker 1: knew was coming, and so I was very kind of
Speaker 1: scarred by it in the beginning. Right, I didn't want
Speaker 1: to back to that control word, right, I thought, and
Speaker 1: I didn't know, you know, you don't know the divorce law.
Speaker 1: No one like tells you when you get married what
Speaker 1: the laws are in your state and what's going to
Speaker 1: happen to you know whatever. No one tells you that.
Speaker 1: And and I got married pretty young, so they especially
Speaker 1: don't tell you and your like early twenties, you know
Speaker 1: what give any of that? Yeah, yeah, like let me
Speaker 1: tell you the you know, uh divorce laws in Georgia.
Speaker 1: So to me, I was just like, you know, I
Speaker 1: want to fully protect myself. So before I ever met
Speaker 1: my husband now, I always was like, I will I
Speaker 1: will have a prenup if I ever again. While I
Speaker 1: was going through the divorce process, which was pretty amicable
Speaker 1: and pretty smooth, actually, I just was like, I will
Speaker 1: never I will never get into a place where I
Speaker 1: even need to discuss any of this. It will be predefined.
Speaker 1: It will be. The thing I love about a prenup
Speaker 1: that I think is fair for everybody is you are
Speaker 1: making a decision about what is right and fair when
Speaker 1: you were in a loving, happy, kind feeling about that person,
Speaker 1: which is what it should be. Right Like, things could
Speaker 1: go wrong, things you nobody could predict. Who knows what
Speaker 1: could get thrown at you in life and what could happen,
Speaker 1: And and I don't ever I mean, I would put
Speaker 1: large amounts of money to tell you that I will
Speaker 1: never get divorced from my husband, Greg, like I we are,
Speaker 1: I just don't ever believe anything will happen. But at
Speaker 1: the same time, I can still protect myself and go
Speaker 1: in with a fair setup to say, let's while we're
Speaker 1: in this, you know, quote honeymoon phase, right, let's have
Speaker 1: a conversation about what we think is fair and what
Speaker 1: we brought into this marriage and what we think is
Speaker 1: fair to happen if something God forbid were to happen. Right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I appreciate that perspective, And like you said, everyone's going
Speaker 1: to make their own decisions in this. But I think,
Speaker 1: particularly coming from the experience that you came from, of course,
Speaker 1: no one goes into marriage thinking that they're going to
Speaker 1: get divorced, but for those who have experienced it, you
Speaker 1: can realize, oh, like, there is a reality to this
Speaker 1: that it is not always rainbows and butterflies and sunshine.
Speaker 1: And sometimes we believe that the best decision is to
Speaker 1: separate and to divorce. And so I think, coming then
Speaker 1: from the perspective of even handed to know, I do
Speaker 1: love you, I want to commit to you, but I
Speaker 1: have seen that there's another side to this, and let's
Speaker 1: be prepared and let's be kind to each other as
Speaker 1: kind as we possibly can throughout the duration of this relationship.
Speaker 1: It's a really, really beautiful and unique perspective and take
Speaker 1: on it. Thanks for sharing that. Yeah, So that worked
Speaker 1: really well for us, and it was a smooth process.
Speaker 1: I mean we've literally spent a couple of hours with
Speaker 1: an attorney talking through there were certain things I had
Speaker 1: never even thought of that, you know, we're in a
Speaker 1: prenup um, but talking through it and then we had
Speaker 1: a prenup. Yeah. I think I think it's really important
Speaker 1: for people to consider when they're getting married later in
Speaker 1: life or in a second marriage. We we want to
Speaker 1: equate our finances to how they were when we were
Speaker 1: in our early twenties or got married the first time.
Speaker 1: But hopefully your finances are not the same as they were,
Speaker 1: you know, ten years previously. Uh, And so to just
Speaker 1: have that kind like to be unclear as to be unkind,
Speaker 1: and so to set some things down, like at the
Speaker 1: beginning of a marriage, when you do have some equity
Speaker 1: built in, you know, whatever it is you've built so
Speaker 1: far it can be really healthy. It's not just in
Speaker 1: case of divorce, but it's conversations you wouldn't have otherwise,
Speaker 1: and you wouldn't have even needed to have in your
Speaker 1: early twenties when you literally had like nothing. So yeah,
Speaker 1: it's I think it's I and to kind of rebrand
Speaker 1: that document to be something that's like healthy and kind
Speaker 1: for relationship, yeah it has. But to me, it's almost
Speaker 1: like a lot of financial conversations which historically people have
Speaker 1: considered taboo and I think are more and more becoming mainstream.
Speaker 1: And and I love your quote to be unclear as
Speaker 1: to be kind, right or sorry to be unclear as
Speaker 1: to be unkind, because there is a big taboo around prenups, right,
Speaker 1: and it is just think of it as a facilitated
Speaker 1: discussion about your finances, so even just them, it's like
Speaker 1: premarital counseling in a way, right that if you can't
Speaker 1: have a conversation about having a prenup with your soon
Speaker 1: to be spouse, you likely might have some other issues, honestly,
Speaker 1: because again, if someone is like that unwilling to have
Speaker 1: an open conversation about money, which is what a prenup
Speaker 1: is about then something that could be a flag, right,
Speaker 1: There could be some other reasons, but like that could
Speaker 1: be a flag. So yeah, can you touch on the
Speaker 1: separate finances? Yeah? Sure. So first off, I had separate
Speaker 1: finances with my first husband also and it worked very
Speaker 1: well for us um and again a lot of things
Speaker 1: were joined and combined. But we also when I got
Speaker 1: together with Gregg, who is my current husband, we did
Speaker 1: have some some conversations early on and decided to keep
Speaker 1: our finances separate. And a lot of that was, you know,
Speaker 1: we've got like incoming and outgoing child support. When you've
Speaker 1: got kids involved, it was easier in many ways, right,
Speaker 1: And when you even think about again again just what
Speaker 1: people are kind of coming in with, and you know,
Speaker 1: I back to the to tie in the prenup. Also,
Speaker 1: it's like I was coming in with an almost fully
Speaker 1: paid off mortgage, right, I was pretty close to finishing it,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I just want to finish it,
Speaker 1: and that's my you know, quote asset now. But we
Speaker 1: have separate finances, and I again I think we've done
Speaker 1: a whole podcast and like separate finances versus combined finances before.
Speaker 1: But I think separate finances also get a bad rap.
Speaker 1: And the thing that I would say about what I
Speaker 1: consider separate finances is that they're separate on paper, but
Speaker 1: we have a hundred percent communication and transparency. I know
Speaker 1: every he knows everything about everything I have and where
Speaker 1: I spend my money, and we do our um expense
Speaker 1: tracking together. Um. And we're not like nickeling and diming things.
Speaker 1: There's certain things where it's like structured yet loose in
Speaker 1: some ways, right. And the thing that I would never
Speaker 1: encourage people to have is I would never encourage separate
Speaker 1: finances where you don't have full transparency of what's happening
Speaker 1: with each person. Um. So you know again, it's like
Speaker 1: we have two different p m l's if you will,
Speaker 1: if you to use like business terms, but we have
Speaker 1: you know, budget meetings and financial reviews together and like
Speaker 1: we're we're co leads in in this life. We live
Speaker 1: together and we review everything, right. We What I think
Speaker 1: it removes is any like for me, what it has
Speaker 1: always removed in my first marriage and in my last marriage.
Speaker 1: Like to call this my last marriage that sounds bad,
Speaker 1: Actually I mean my final marriage, ok, yeah, forever marriage whatever.
Speaker 1: So what what we have removed. That works really well
Speaker 1: for me at least is any kind of resentment or
Speaker 1: arguments about personal choices with certain things. Right, Like, we're
Speaker 1: still my husband and I are still pretty aligned on
Speaker 1: just how we spend our money and what our life
Speaker 1: goals in early retirement, all these other things. But when
Speaker 1: he goes and decides to get a new Apple Watch
Speaker 1: one day, I'm not like, well, you know, we should
Speaker 1: have discussed that, And you know, I'm like cool, Like
Speaker 1: he's managing his own money, right, we I know what
Speaker 1: our joint collective goals are, and but I'm not going
Speaker 1: to question, uh, you know, a small decision he made
Speaker 1: because I don't need to. It's just it's not it's
Speaker 1: not even in my you know, I'm not I'm not
Speaker 1: worried about those kind of little day to day things
Speaker 1: as a Resultimately, well, it sounds like your finances, like
Speaker 1: your accounts are separate, but your finances are combined. You know,
Speaker 1: the way you talk about your finances, that's the same page.
Speaker 1: That's one budget, one like goal, but the accounts are separate.
Speaker 1: And I mean so many people are doing we do that.
Speaker 1: We consider our finances combined, but like we use credit
Speaker 1: cards separately that we are not on each other's accounts
Speaker 1: for but we can still see what's going on in
Speaker 1: those accounts. So yeah, I think that's super smart. It's
Speaker 1: it's a lot easier to just you know, have your
Speaker 1: own accounts and not like I got on Travis's like
Speaker 1: checking account and that was like a few hours I'll
Speaker 1: never get back from my life, like uh and none.
Speaker 1: Now it's like why, what's the point. But I feel
Speaker 1: about Eric's search history just going back through all the
Speaker 1: things he's looking to want to buy a lot of
Speaker 1: it will never Oh, it is quite the roller coaster,
Speaker 1: indoor water features, boats and music equipment. It's all over
Speaker 1: the map and then and then a random search of
Speaker 1: some middle of nowhere part of Finland and I didn't
Speaker 1: even do a boat. This is going to be like
Speaker 1: a fun date night game. I'm gonna make it up
Speaker 1: where we just go look at each other's search history
Speaker 1: to be like, explain to me why you were searching on.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be then but also really days and we're
Speaker 1: we're not going to dangerous, but you do right before
Speaker 1: you bring up that you want to prenup. It's like
Speaker 1: triple threat, you know, be like I want to separate finances.
Speaker 1: I want to prenup and let me look at your
Speaker 1: search history. There it is marriage advice from Maggie. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what's also super fun and dangerous and hours
Speaker 1: of my life. I don't want back or I love
Speaker 1: that you want to keep it. It's the bill, that's right.
Speaker 1: It's time for the best minute of your entire week.
Speaker 1: Maybe a baby was born and his name is William.
Speaker 1: Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died
Speaker 1: and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore.
Speaker 1: Duck Bill, Buffalo Bills, Bill Clinton. This is the bill
Speaker 1: of the week, Maggie. Every single week we invite either
Speaker 1: our listeners or our guests to share with us their
Speaker 1: bill of the week. Do you have one for us
Speaker 1: this week? I do. I was thinking to be fun
Speaker 1: if I used to be married to someone named Bill,
Speaker 1: but I can't. I can't. So I did just save
Speaker 1: five I sound like like a guy coo ad or something,
Speaker 1: except this is with all State. I did just save
Speaker 1: sponsored by hundred and fifteen dollars on my homeowners insurance.
Speaker 1: And actually I have to give credit to you know,
Speaker 1: Joel and Matt on how to money. I will give
Speaker 1: them credit because they posted it was actually in one
Speaker 1: of their episodes. It was they talked about it briefly,
Speaker 1: and he even made a reference to how he swore
Speaker 1: his deductible used to be higher and somehow it got
Speaker 1: lower again. And I was like, I also think my
Speaker 1: deductible is at least a thousand dollars. Somehow I went
Speaker 1: in and it was only five dollars my the deductible
Speaker 1: on my home or sorry, yeah, the deductible on my
Speaker 1: homeowners insurance. And so I was like, when was the
Speaker 1: last time I've made a claim to my homeowners insurance?
Speaker 1: It has literally been never over twenty years of owning
Speaker 1: two different homes. So I just very quickly asked my agent, like, hey,
Speaker 1: what would it be if I raised this to a
Speaker 1: thousand dollars two thousand dollars three thousand dollars um? And
Speaker 1: I think we actually went up to now I can't
Speaker 1: remember five thousand dollars, I think, but we say five
Speaker 1: U fifty dollars overnight, which is pretty cool. That was
Speaker 1: about our overall cost of our homeowners insurance. So that
Speaker 1: was my exciting bill that it was almost better than
Speaker 1: a bill because I'd already paid it, so I gotta
Speaker 1: check in the mail for the balance of what I saved.
Speaker 1: And because your mortgage is paid off, it's not wrapped
Speaker 1: up into that you actually get the money back. I do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right, it's not in my escrow account, and it
Speaker 1: is actually a real bill I pay. There's a whole
Speaker 1: set of bills you paid directly when you like your
Speaker 1: taxes every year. It's it's a whole new world from
Speaker 1: a mortgage free living. Yeah, absolutely, I think we often
Speaker 1: and for those who do, yeah, it's it's and it
Speaker 1: goes into an ESCO account. You would. Most people don't
Speaker 1: think about how can I save on home owners insurance?
Speaker 1: It's like car insurance, the actual things that I really
Speaker 1: feel coming out of my pocket. But this is still
Speaker 1: real money coming out of your pocket one way or another.
Speaker 1: That it's a good reminder to take a look at
Speaker 1: that and negotiate it. Yeah, once a year, to look
Speaker 1: at it. See if they've changed your deductible, See what
Speaker 1: you can do too if you want to keep the
Speaker 1: same deductible, see what you can do to lower it.
Speaker 1: Because you can compare homeowners in and there's not just
Speaker 1: one homeowners insurance. I mean we've had policy. Genius has
Speaker 1: been a sponsor of the show for a long time,
Speaker 1: and they compare all the sites. Um, not all the sites,
Speaker 1: but you know, all the major ones, and and there's
Speaker 1: a lot out there, so it's yeah, I did just
Speaker 1: look it up. I moved from a one thousand dollar
Speaker 1: deductable to a five thousand dollar deductable, which again is like,
Speaker 1: you're not going to make a claim on your homeowner's
Speaker 1: insurance for a thousand dollars anyways, because it would jack
Speaker 1: up your rate so high it wouldn't be worth it.
Speaker 1: So there's a lot of benefits to having a higher
Speaker 1: especially if you have the cash for emergency. You know,
Speaker 1: if a tree does fall in your house, I can
Speaker 1: afford to pay for it if I had to. Yeah,
Speaker 1: unless you like, if you live in Florida, then hurricanes
Speaker 1: like make trees fall on your home every year on
Speaker 1: the regular. Then yeah, for a years You're like, I've
Speaker 1: never made a claim over two homes, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I've made two claims in like two three. That actually
Speaker 1: is a great point that of how everyone's situation is different.
Speaker 1: I live in Atlanta. There's very few natural desa. There's
Speaker 1: just very few things, and I say that knock on wood.
Speaker 1: My husband even joked the second we raised it. He's like,
Speaker 1: now is going to be the first time in twenty
Speaker 1: years that we have to make the place. M hmm.
Speaker 1: Well you see if that was a good Bill of
Speaker 1: the week or not. T b C. Well, if you
Speaker 1: want to submit your bill of the week, visit Frugal
Speaker 1: Friends podcast dot com slash bill. Leave us your bill.
Speaker 1: If it's about saving on insurance or your husband or
Speaker 1: ex husband's name is actually Bill, we want to hear
Speaker 1: about it and anything else nice. And now it's time
Speaker 1: for the lightning Round. Lightning Round Today, we are going
Speaker 1: to talk about a recent money conversation we've had with
Speaker 1: a friend or family member, because Maggie, your show Friends
Speaker 1: On Fires all out normalizing talking about money with friends,
Speaker 1: and we're about friends. So we're gonna talk about a
Speaker 1: recent conversation we had. So Maggie as our guest, please
Speaker 1: start us off. Okay, Well, I was just at a
Speaker 1: holiday party and I was talking to a good friend
Speaker 1: of ours and they brought up something financial before I
Speaker 1: even did. We started talking about taxes and deferred compensation plans.
Speaker 1: And first off, I'm like, I get so excited when
Speaker 1: that happens, because I don't want to I don't want
Speaker 1: to have like so weird. I don't want to have
Speaker 1: like small talk at a holiday party, you know. I
Speaker 1: don't want to be like, oh, what you've been up?
Speaker 1: You know, like I like when we get into like
Speaker 1: a thick, meaningful discussion right off, I'm like, this is great,
Speaker 1: you know, especially at the holiday party when you want
Speaker 1: to make sure people have like put as much into
Speaker 1: their for owen k and their iris. Very true. Ya
Speaker 1: times running out, We're at a crunch. Yeahs that timing
Speaker 1: conversation around. Forget the It's not about the holidays, it's
Speaker 1: about all your end of your financial stuff. You should
Speaker 1: do well. First off, this was a morning thing. This
Speaker 1: is like a but oh yes, start the day Saturday
Speaker 1: morning talking about you know, taxes and uh deferred compensation
Speaker 1: plans and everything else. But we were having a conversation
Speaker 1: and this person was talking about how they were trying
Speaker 1: to reduce their taxes. Basically, they were saying, you know,
Speaker 1: we're in the highest tax bracket. I'm trying to get
Speaker 1: They were trying to they were doing afferred conversation, trying
Speaker 1: to get lower and they were talking about how much
Speaker 1: they were putting in and asking kind of they knew
Speaker 1: I had done it just from talking about on the podcast,
Speaker 1: and I didn't want to, like, as they were talking
Speaker 1: about it, and this person is um married to an
Speaker 1: accountant also, but I didn't want to make any assumptions.
Speaker 1: But as they started talking about it, I thought like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if they realize that the way tax
Speaker 1: brackets work, you're only paying like that incremental amount is
Speaker 1: in the highest tax bracket, right, It's not all your money.
Speaker 1: It's not like once you make over, you know the
Speaker 1: I R S brackets like the over eighteen that all
Speaker 1: your money's taxed at. It's just the amount over thousand
Speaker 1: dollars that is taxed at. And I was thinking that,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I want to make this point
Speaker 1: to them, but I don't want to insult them. But
Speaker 1: I didn't once fully understand this, and so I was
Speaker 1: saying I was like, hey, I don't and I even
Speaker 1: kind of just said that. I was like, look, I
Speaker 1: didn't even know this until a few years ago. I'm
Speaker 1: not sure I fully appreciate it, and I'm sure I
Speaker 1: learned it at different times, but I was like, you
Speaker 1: know that you're not. It's not like all your incomes
Speaker 1: now taxed at that big rate. It's just the like
Speaker 1: two thousand dollars over that that you made. And they
Speaker 1: looked at me and we're like, I didn't know that,
Speaker 1: And it's just what it reminded me. And I'm not
Speaker 1: judging them by the way I did not know that.
Speaker 1: You know, again, I full of years ago and what
Speaker 1: I what it just reminded me of is just being
Speaker 1: able to kind of have those like vulnerable conversations where look,
Speaker 1: I might have kind of offended him and been like,
Speaker 1: of course I know that, you know, like that's you know,
Speaker 1: why wouldn't anyone know that? Like I could have made
Speaker 1: myself look silly saying that, but I do that on
Speaker 1: the podcast like weekly, so I'm we're right there with you.
Speaker 1: But it was just that conversation. It reminded me how
Speaker 1: important it is to have these conversations that person learned
Speaker 1: something new. We had a we we both just had
Speaker 1: like a really interesting conversation about their compensation plans and um,
Speaker 1: some different things related to taxes. And it was to
Speaker 1: me like, again I was kind of joking at the beginning,
Speaker 1: like I really enjoyed that conversation. It was it was
Speaker 1: a nice connection point with somebody. It was not just
Speaker 1: a little bit of small talk of like, oh hey,
Speaker 1: how's work, you know, and we both walked away learning
Speaker 1: something new and getting something out of it. And again,
Speaker 1: it's just it's like a meaningful conversation with a friend
Speaker 1: about money. It's awesome, And there's so much trust and
Speaker 1: safety that does have to be present and dignifying one another. Right,
Speaker 1: there could have been a whole other way that you
Speaker 1: could have approached that conversation, or you could have just
Speaker 1: left it and then she would have gone on not
Speaker 1: knowing and assuming something, maybe making decisions based on that assumption.
Speaker 1: So there's definitely groundwork that needs to be late in
Speaker 1: order to do this. But I do think these financial
Speaker 1: conversations are so much more attainable. I think because we
Speaker 1: know that there has to be some trust and safety,
Speaker 1: we just back off altogether. But I like the push
Speaker 1: here to say no, approach it with value and dignity,
Speaker 1: but then still do it because the more that we
Speaker 1: do it, the more we all learn and can make
Speaker 1: better decisions. Yeah how about you, jail? Well, Similarly, I
Speaker 1: feel like I am having a lot of money conversations
Speaker 1: and more and more. So I think as people learn
Speaker 1: that I'm on this podcast, they're like they just you know,
Speaker 1: it does almost like open the door and people tell
Speaker 1: me things. Now, admittedly Jen is the expert when it
Speaker 1: comes to like investing in retirement plans, I am very
Speaker 1: much still on a learning curve. So my money conversations
Speaker 1: recently have been around like I am in my own
Speaker 1: learning process as people are like, oh, I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: X y Z with my money, and I'm kind of like,
Speaker 1: I actually need to look into that because I've not
Speaker 1: heard of it. But I am I'm finding myself in
Speaker 1: conversations where I am somewhat concerned for people and the
Speaker 1: advice that they're given. I don't want to get too
Speaker 1: into the weeds some of these people might listen to
Speaker 1: the podcast, so like, I don't want to give more
Speaker 1: details than that. So that's like an overarching just like
Speaker 1: I don't know what our point is in like highlighting
Speaker 1: these money conversations, but I am talking with people, people
Speaker 1: are sharing and I'm learning that there's so many options
Speaker 1: out there for retirement, for spending, for leveraging the equity
Speaker 1: in your home, and I think it is highlighting me
Speaker 1: again how important it is to have these conversations, because
Speaker 1: I think without it, we don't know is this a
Speaker 1: wise decision or not. I know we all have freedom,
Speaker 1: but there there is a line where some things just
Speaker 1: might not actually be a good idea for anybody, and
Speaker 1: yet this advice is still being given. And then beyond that,
Speaker 1: my husband and I recently had a conversation just about
Speaker 1: our spending and saving, like holding the tension between We
Speaker 1: are cash flowing renovations right now, but I also have
Speaker 1: an acute awareness that we're in our thirties and time
Speaker 1: is of the essence for us as it relates to
Speaker 1: our retirement plans and goals, and so really getting into
Speaker 1: some of the nitty gritty of how do we want
Speaker 1: to hold the tension of both how will we keep
Speaker 1: a pulse on? All? Right, renovations are done, let's stop
Speaker 1: throwing a ton of money at that and go hard
Speaker 1: at investing in our future. So that that's a more
Speaker 1: specific recent conversation we've had. I love that you're having
Speaker 1: that conversation. Thanks. I should probably loop you into that
Speaker 1: conversation too, since just put me in on the group
Speaker 1: text um, I will say, when it comes to like
Speaker 1: conversations with friends and learning, you don't have to be
Speaker 1: an expert to talk to your friends about money. Like,
Speaker 1: sometimes it's more helpful for you than it is for
Speaker 1: even them, because we don't know every question there is
Speaker 1: to ask. You don't know what you don't know, and
Speaker 1: so sometimes it takes having open conversations to figure out
Speaker 1: what you do need to google. So yeah, I would say,
Speaker 1: don't be afraid to be open about money just because
Speaker 1: you don't feel like an expert. I think that's even
Speaker 1: it's even more important at that stage. Yeah, So for me,
Speaker 1: I this is a conversation I actually have frequently with
Speaker 1: one of my best friends, uh Jess, who is an
Speaker 1: amazing kindergarten teach her and I want her to consider
Speaker 1: creating passive income stream around her science curriculum for like
Speaker 1: K through two or K through three, And yeah, she
Speaker 1: doesn't believe that it is original enough to do, but
Speaker 1: I say that all innovation is creative plagiarism, So I
Speaker 1: think that she should do it, And if she's listening,
Speaker 1: I just want to remind her because sometimes she does
Speaker 1: listen to the show. I think it's a just idea. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: she would she do on Etsy or there are other
Speaker 1: sites that are more focused on curriculum, but I have
Speaker 1: seen so there are there are, there's there's Etsy, there's
Speaker 1: Teachers Pay Teachers, but there there's also you can create
Speaker 1: your own website, like on a membership platform where you
Speaker 1: distribute it like you can charge people like a monthly
Speaker 1: fee and they have weekly like full lesson plans every
Speaker 1: week on your own platform. So there's there's so many options.
Speaker 1: You can get started with small these smaller you know,
Speaker 1: on the Etsy and the teachers Pay teachers, and then
Speaker 1: once you build up a foundation of curriculums, you can
Speaker 1: start your own site. Yeah, you know, for all of
Speaker 1: all my teachers, it's a very limiting belief to think
Speaker 1: that her and I'm not. That's no no judgment. We
Speaker 1: all got a lot of limiting beliefs. But to think
Speaker 1: that her stuff isn't original enough. It's her stuff, it is.
Speaker 1: It is original by nature, right, If it was too original,
Speaker 1: then I would question the science. So that's that's what
Speaker 1: I will say. This is a bit of a side tangent,
Speaker 1: but I see this mentality a lot in the human
Speaker 1: services education fields, where it is an employment setup that
Speaker 1: is pretty that it is in and of itself pretty limiting.
Speaker 1: So then it makes sense that our mentality when we
Speaker 1: are found in that system is pretty limiting. That you know,
Speaker 1: raises are few and far between, they're very specific, they're
Speaker 1: very like low level incremental, and so it is sometimes
Speaker 1: hard to think outside of that when no one in
Speaker 1: your immediate network is doing or talking about that. So
Speaker 1: it makes sense. But then it's yeah, I mean, it's
Speaker 1: so helpful to have these conversations about that to say
Speaker 1: there are other options, even if you find yourself in
Speaker 1: a system, in an environment that would say there's not, well,
Speaker 1: we're saying there is. Yeah, absolutely Well, Maggie, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for coming on the show. We loved having
Speaker 1: you on. Yeah, thank you for having me. And where
Speaker 1: can people get more from you if they want to
Speaker 1: hear more about your story, your perspective. Most of where
Speaker 1: they can hear more is at our podcast which I
Speaker 1: have a podcast with a good friend of mine, Mike,
Speaker 1: and it's called Friends on Fire. You can visit it
Speaker 1: at Friends on Fire dot org, or you can just
Speaker 1: listen to the podcast anywhere you listen to podcasts. We
Speaker 1: put out a new episode every week on Everything from
Speaker 1: frugal living to pre nups. We actually haven't done a
Speaker 1: dedicated prenup episode, but it has been on my to
Speaker 1: do list for a while. This might inspire me to
Speaker 1: finally get on us. We talked about a decent amount
Speaker 1: though when it's relevant. But the best place to find
Speaker 1: us is just wherever you listen to podcasts, and we're
Speaker 1: I'm not a big I'm I'm like loose on social media,
Speaker 1: but Instagram is probably the place that we are the
Speaker 1: most active for sure. Awesome is it? Friends on fire?
Speaker 1: Friends dot on fire? Cool? Okay, well we will link
Speaker 1: all of that in the show notes. Again, Maggie, thanks
Speaker 1: for hanging out with us today. We'll see you later. Yeah, thanks,
Speaker 1: Jan and Jill have a great day. Thanks Maggie. What
Speaker 1: a great time with Maggie. We like all the different
Speaker 1: perspectives on debt payoff and certainly I think she brought
Speaker 1: a very unique perspective to the table that at various
Speaker 1: points in her store I think we can relate to.
Speaker 1: So we do hope, as we said before, that this
Speaker 1: was a help to you all in your own debt
Speaker 1: payoff journeys. Absolutely, yeah, And she's just a I mean
Speaker 1: a normal person like you, like us. There's nothing she's
Speaker 1: not an economist or somebody who you would think to
Speaker 1: be uniquely apt to doing you know, something special like this,
Speaker 1: Like we are all capable of doing these things. So
Speaker 1: I hope that you're inspired by by that. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: thanks everyone for listening, and we also want to thank
Speaker 1: you for your kinder views on Apple podcasts like this.
Speaker 1: One comes from Classy D A D three and it's
Speaker 1: titled look forward to Friday's Happens to Be five stars
Speaker 1: and they say, from budgeting to investing and smart shopping
Speaker 1: to thinking outside the box, these ladies cover it all.
Speaker 1: I really look forward to Friday's when I Can You're
Speaker 1: a new episode. Thanks John and Jill for being down
Speaker 1: to earth, knowledgeable and relatable. You're welcome, class A D
Speaker 1: A D three. Yes, thank you, class A D. Thanks
Speaker 1: for thinking that we are knowledgeable, I mean definitely down
Speaker 1: on the earth and so relatable for sure. For sure.
Speaker 1: We also want to thank our friends who share these
Speaker 1: episodes on social media. So when you share the latest
Speaker 1: episode on Instagram, we are adding you to our monthly drawing.
Speaker 1: For every five tags and reviews we get each month,
Speaker 1: we are giving away fifty dollars for you to spend
Speaker 1: in the Frugal Friends shop. That's frugal Friends dot shop
Speaker 1: if you want to check it out on the internet.
Speaker 1: So keep leaving us those reviews wherever you listen to
Speaker 1: podcasts and send the screenshots of that review that you
Speaker 1: wrote to reviews at Frugal Friends podcast dot com. And
Speaker 1: still don't forget to tag us on social See you
Speaker 1: next week. Bye. Frugal Friends is produced by Eric. You're Jen,
Speaker 1: what do you think will be your favorite part of
Speaker 1: that train ride? Telling everyone about Thomas's hidden agenda all
Speaker 1: day because the show has an underlying hidden agenda that
Speaker 1: people need to know about. Same with Happy Feet, like
Speaker 1: that show, I mean that movie too. Like they're just
Speaker 1: there's so much everything for kids is so loaded, and
Speaker 1: like Thomas came out in I don't know, the fifties, sixties,
Speaker 1: very long time ago. Everything has a ulterior motive. It's
Speaker 1: not just for children, but it's also for it's for
Speaker 1: brainwashing them. Yes, there's so much propaganda in it and
Speaker 1: and like you said, it's it's not new like that.
Speaker 1: Thomas is such an old show and they're trying to
Speaker 1: tell you what what kind of fuel this thing? Should
Speaker 1: run off of Yeah, you know what doesn't have propaganda
Speaker 1: Cocoa melon? Okay, I don't know, Toddler, I don't know.
Speaker 1: There's no propaganda in coca melon. And that's my least
Speaker 1: favorite show. See, that's the thing you like, the edgy,
Speaker 1: getting ideas out there, getting a little yeah riled up.
Speaker 1: That's what you like. It is what I like. Apparently,
Speaker 1: it's like I want to ruin the experience for everyone there.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm most excited about. You think you're going
Speaker 1: to talk to complete strangers about it. No, I'm not
Speaker 1: going to talk to complete strange. I don't talk to strangers, Jill.
Speaker 1: I'll talk about it loud enough that strangers over hear
Speaker 1: me talk about it loudly to Kay in a way
Speaker 1: that guy I will never understand. But adults, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's exactly what I'm gonna do. Have fun,