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Speaker 1: The word healthy to everyone is a great word. Everyone

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Speaker 1: wants to be healthy. But for me, when someone says

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Speaker 1: that I work healthy, it makes me want to spiral.

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Speaker 2: The best selling authoring post the number one healthy wellness

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Speaker 2: podcast On Purpose with Jay Shetty. Everyone, welcome back to

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Speaker 2: On Purpose, the number one health and wellness podcast in

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Speaker 2: the world. Thanks to each and every one of you

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Speaker 2: that come back every week to become happier, healthier and

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Speaker 2: more healed. And it's been an incredible journey this year.

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Speaker 2: So far. We've had some phenomenal guests, so many different backgrounds,

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Speaker 2: so many different walks of life. And today's guest is

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Speaker 2: someone I'm really excited to have here. I've been looking

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Speaker 2: forward to this interview for a long long time. I'm

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Speaker 2: sitting down today with the one and only Neessa Barrett,

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Speaker 2: a singer and songwriter who's been named Billboard's twenty one

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Speaker 2: Under twenty one twice, as well as being featured on

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Speaker 2: Once to Watch list of twenty five artists to Watch

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Speaker 2: in twenty twenty two. From being an emerging artist to

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Speaker 2: being an established incredible Todaynessa's gone on to accumulate more

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Speaker 2: than one point four billion global streams to date. And

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Speaker 2: her new EP is out now called Hell is a

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Speaker 2: Teenage Girl. Please, welcome to the show. Nessa barrett Essa,

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Speaker 2: thank you for.

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Speaker 3: Being here, Hell, thank you for having me.

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Speaker 2: You have such a wonderful, warm, sweet energy. As soon

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Speaker 2: as you walked in, you were just disarming. It was wonderful.

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Speaker 2: Just I really appreciate that. Thank you, Thank you so much.

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Speaker 2: And I saw that it's going to be your birthday,

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Speaker 2: your twenty first birthday, in like less than three weeks.

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Speaker 2: Your new EP is titled Hell is a Teenage Girl. Yes,

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Speaker 2: how does it feel to be out of Hell?

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Speaker 3: Oh? My god, it feels amazing.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, when I think about it, I feel like sometimes

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Speaker 1: you're never fully away from hell in the bad moments,

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Speaker 1: but I'm getting there slowly. I feel like healing is

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Speaker 1: like a really long journey. But yeah, I mean getting

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Speaker 1: out of the hell that I was in the past

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Speaker 1: feels great.

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Speaker 2: What do you think it is about teenage life? Because

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Speaker 2: that statement hell is a teenage Girl is so iconic

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Speaker 2: and it's so powerful as well. And I think we

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Speaker 2: underestimate how hard being a teenager is, and as we

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Speaker 2: get older, I think we underestimate even more. But when

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Speaker 2: you're in that time, it can feel like everything matters,

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Speaker 2: nothing matters. It's quite chaotic. Walk us through for you,

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Speaker 2: like what makes being a teenager so hard or what

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Speaker 2: makes being young so difficult today?

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Speaker 1: I know for me, my worst years were I mean

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Speaker 1: the last twenty that I've spent and most of them

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Speaker 1: were when I was a teenager. And I feel like

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Speaker 1: when you're still developing and you don't really have a.

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Speaker 3: Full sense of who you are yet.

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Speaker 1: I mean, when you're a kid, you're taken you know,

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Speaker 1: and treated as a kid, and I feel like that's

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Speaker 1: hard as well, trying to grow up and find yourself

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Speaker 1: and be your own well, being influenced heavily by either

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Speaker 1: your parents or those that are around you and older

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Speaker 1: that are supposed to, you know, give you some guidance.

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Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes it gets tricky and you get misunderstood.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's not all sunshine and rainbow, you know,

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Speaker 1: when you're young. Everyone likes to talk about childhood like

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Speaker 1: it's this beautiful thing, but for me personally, it wasn't.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I can relate to in so many

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Speaker 2: ways for myself. I think hell as a teenage boy too,

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Speaker 2: And I remember being like teacher's pet. Until age eleven,

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Speaker 2: I was really well behaved. I was a good son

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Speaker 2: all the rest of it, and then like from fourteen

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Speaker 2: to eighteen, I just went completely off the rails and

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Speaker 2: I was messing around, trying things, experimenting, doing stuff that

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Speaker 2: wouldn't make my parents proud. And it's really interesting because

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Speaker 2: it just came out of this need to want to

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Speaker 2: fit in, to be cool, to be relevant, to want

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Speaker 2: people to respect me, and you end up doing things

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Speaker 2: that are disrespectful to yourself for other people to like you.

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Speaker 2: And it's crazy. You just mentioned now though, that when

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Speaker 2: I asked you just before we started filming, you said

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Speaker 2: you actually ran away from home when you were seventeen. Yes,

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Speaker 2: what made you do that? Like? What did it take

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Speaker 2: for that to happen?

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Speaker 1: So I feel like I've always had like this big ambition,

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Speaker 1: in this big dream in my head of what I

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Speaker 1: want to do as a career. You know, I always

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Speaker 1: dreamt about being in California, dreamt about being a singer,

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Speaker 1: you know, a huge artist, and that wasn't something that

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Speaker 1: was understood or at least, you know, seen as possible

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Speaker 1: in the town that I came from, and my family,

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Speaker 1: and it was right as COVID hit, and I knew

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Speaker 1: that I was either trapped and stuck there and forced

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Speaker 1: to have to go to college and you know, create

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Speaker 1: a life that I knew wasn't for me, or I

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Speaker 1: would just do it for myself. And you know, if

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Speaker 1: I didn't leave, then then I wouldn't be there like

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Speaker 1: here where I am now, and so it was really weird.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I wasn't happy at home. I wasn't happy

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Speaker 1: in New Jersey, and I felt in my heart that

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Speaker 1: there was something that I had to do. And I

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Speaker 1: booked a flight at like one am that left for

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Speaker 1: like four am.

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Speaker 3: Knew that I was gonna run away, and.

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Speaker 1: It was like this big chaos they had, Like the

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Speaker 1: cops come and it was like this whole thing, and

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Speaker 1: so they stole and they took all of my suitcases,

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Speaker 1: everything that I could use to leave, and so I

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Speaker 1: found I locked my door, and I found like all

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Speaker 1: of my old like school book bags and my soccer bags.

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Speaker 3: Because I used to play soccer.

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Speaker 1: And I stuffed all of my things in like these

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Speaker 1: Duffel bags and like school bags, and I'm lugging around

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Speaker 1: like and I'm small. I'm like seventeen, like four foot eleven,

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Speaker 1: like lugging around these huge bags, and I got an

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Speaker 1: uber and.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I got on the flight and I've been here since.

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Speaker 2: So that's been nearly four years now. That's insane. I mean,

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Speaker 2: how did you, as a seventeen year old have the

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Speaker 2: confidence and courage to go, No, I'm going to go

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Speaker 2: all in on this. I'm gonna because that's you know,

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Speaker 2: I think a lot of young people today, a lot

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Speaker 2: of people listening, they want to take risks. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: they want to try things out, they want to follow

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Speaker 2: their passion, they want to pursue something that's of theirs.

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Speaker 2: But I think most of us get talked out of it,

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Speaker 2: or the doubt and the fear creeps in in our

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Speaker 2: head of what if I don't make it, what if

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Speaker 2: it doesn't work out? What was it for you that

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Speaker 2: allowed you to say no, I'm actually going to have

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Speaker 2: the courage and the confidence at seventeen, I.

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Speaker 1: Still am not the type of person and I never

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Speaker 1: was to take a.

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Speaker 3: Risk like that. I struggle with.

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Speaker 1: Really bad anxiety, and I as a kid, like I

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Speaker 1: did everything that I was told, you know, I would

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Speaker 1: never I would follow the rules to a tee and

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Speaker 1: something like that was absolutely insane, and looking back on

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Speaker 1: it now, I feel like there was something out of

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Speaker 1: this world that kind of took like a toll on me.

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Speaker 3: Like it was a.

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Speaker 1: Pretty like I don't even know how to explain it,

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Speaker 1: but I just knew that I.

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Speaker 3: Had to and I was scared. I was terrified.

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Speaker 1: I remember I had there's no NonStop from Philly to

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Speaker 1: LA at that time, and so I stopped somewhere and

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Speaker 1: on like my connecting flight. I was freaking out, like

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Speaker 1: having a pin attack. But yeah, I just kept going.

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Speaker 1: But it was it was something that was very like

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Speaker 1: unlike me, and so I feel like I don't know

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Speaker 1: if it's like my higher power anything like that, and

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Speaker 1: I just knew that I was that was something that.

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Speaker 3: I had to do.

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Speaker 2: You know, how did you have the money?

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Speaker 3: Thank God?

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Speaker 1: So I before I was in La. I actually this

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Speaker 1: is like such a weird story, but I started off

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Speaker 1: on social media. I feel like a lot of people

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Speaker 1: know me as a social media person, even though that

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Speaker 1: wasn't something that I intended to be. I have social anxiety,

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Speaker 1: so I feel like me being a social media star

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Speaker 1: isn't something that you know fits the most with me,

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Speaker 1: and something that I would ever want to do. But

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Speaker 1: when social media like Instagram and TikTok became popular apps

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Speaker 1: when I was young, I never wanted to go on it.

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Speaker 1: And I remember being in high school, like during lunch,

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Speaker 1: and a bunch of my friends had it and they

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Speaker 1: made me make an account and post a video, and

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Speaker 1: I made one video and I happened to accumulate a

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Speaker 1: bunch of followers off of that without me even you know,

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Speaker 1: trying to be an influencer. I was just being a

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Speaker 1: random teenage girl posting as if any other girl would

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Speaker 1: on social media.

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Speaker 3: And I gained a.

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Speaker 1: Lot of followers for that, and it was really cool

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Speaker 1: and it was awesome.

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Speaker 3: And I had no money.

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Speaker 1: No one in my family had money to just buy

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Speaker 1: a flight whenever they wanted, let alone live in California,

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Speaker 1: or be able to get into like a music studio,

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Speaker 1: you know. And so I honestly think I was truly

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Speaker 1: blessed with that opportunity, because I wouldn't still be able

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Speaker 1: to leave and do what I've always wanted to do

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Speaker 1: and like sing, if I couldn't have the money first

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Speaker 1: and even the audience. It allowed me to you know,

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Speaker 1: go to LA and to get in a studio, and

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Speaker 1: by the time I even had my first song out,

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Speaker 1: people already knew who I was.

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Speaker 2: So that's incredible. That's incredible. What was your going backward?

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Speaker 2: If you could think of a couple of memories from

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Speaker 2: your childhood that you feel made you really find it

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Speaker 2: to be so tough for your teenage life to be

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Speaker 2: so challenging. What would those memories for you that you

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Speaker 2: think spurred this desire to leave and build your own

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Speaker 2: life and create and kind of follow that higher power?

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Speaker 2: As you said, what were those things that happened to

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Speaker 2: you specifically that you think were dark and hellish in

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Speaker 2: that sense?

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Speaker 1: Growing up, it was very hard for me to have friends.

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Speaker 1: I struggled a lot in school and with people my age.

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Speaker 1: You know, I was someone that was never really fit in,

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Speaker 1: someone no one really understood, left out of a lot of things,

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Speaker 1: bullied to an extent, And I feel like that also

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Speaker 1: drove me to want to become better. And I believed

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Speaker 1: my entire life just being a good person that will

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Speaker 1: pay off. I feel like luckily it did. But even

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Speaker 1: you know, my home life wasn't the best and seeing

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Speaker 1: my parents struggle with you know, financially and within themselves

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Speaker 1: and with each other. I feel like that really strove

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Speaker 1: me to want to have a better life than what

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Speaker 1: anyone in my family had.

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Speaker 3: But it was really hard growing up.

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Speaker 1: And I'm at a place now where I love my

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Speaker 1: parents so much, which came, you know, after a lot

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Speaker 1: of healing. But I just saw a lot, and I

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Speaker 1: just knew that I wanted to be better than what

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Speaker 1: I saw and I wanted to do better. And also too,

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Speaker 1: it's like where I'm from. I'm from a small town,

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Speaker 1: a nine to five job and going to college, and

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Speaker 1: that wasn't something that was for me, something that I desired,

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Speaker 1: something that I was ever interested in. I remember junior year,

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Speaker 1: I got in trouble because I refused to apply to

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Speaker 1: any colleges. You know, I knew that I had to

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Speaker 1: do something different.

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Speaker 2: Was it you that rekindled your relationship with the parents

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Speaker 2: or was it then? Like, how did that come about?

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Speaker 2: Because that's really wonderful to hear when that can happen.

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Speaker 2: It's not possible for everyone, but yeah, how did that stop?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Well, I've always had a rocky relationship with my parents,

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Speaker 1: but my mom, she's always my mom, and I loved

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Speaker 1: her dearly and I always will, and so we've always

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Speaker 1: had somewhat of a relationship, even when I ran away,

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Speaker 1: which at the time me and my parents, we were

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Speaker 1: not okay at all, which is why I ran away.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I started doing hypnotherapy maybe a little over

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Speaker 1: a year ago, if not a year ago, and that

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Speaker 1: has been the one thing that has truly been life

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Speaker 1: changing and changed who I am as a person, because

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Speaker 1: the whole idea of it is that it reaches down

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Speaker 1: in your subconscious and that's where all of your trauma

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Speaker 1: is stored, you know, even things that you don't remember.

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Speaker 1: And we worked through everything that has affected me to

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Speaker 1: this day that I couldn't even tell you, you know,

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Speaker 1: that we were able to bring out.

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Speaker 3: And because of.

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Speaker 1: That, I I've been able to talk to my dad

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Speaker 1: that I didn't for years and haven't since I ran away.

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Speaker 1: I recently just visited them and went home for the

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Speaker 1: first time last week for the July. I saw my

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Speaker 1: little brother that I haven't even met yet because he

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Speaker 1: was born a year ago. It's been really good. I

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Speaker 1: feel like because of how I grew up and because

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Speaker 1: of my childhood, I've been very independent and I've been

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Speaker 1: that type of person that was like I'm going to

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Speaker 1: do everything myself and I don't need anyone. I never

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Speaker 1: needed anyone, but you know, coming out here by myself

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Speaker 1: at seventeen, being in this industry and having to do

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Speaker 1: a lot, which does put a toll on you mentally

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Speaker 1: and physically, and also seeing people that are doing the

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Speaker 1: same thing as me around my age having a family

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Speaker 1: with them. At a certain point, I kind of realized

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Speaker 1: how much family is important, no matter what you know,

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Speaker 1: no matter how bad things have gotten in the past,

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Speaker 1: family still family. And I've kind of prioritized that recently,

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Speaker 1: and I mean, I wouldn't be able to do it

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Speaker 1: with therapy, but it's been really nice to have a

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Speaker 1: relationship that I now have that I probably never had

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Speaker 1: with them my entire life.

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Speaker 2: That's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that, and it's so

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Speaker 2: so wonderful to hear that you've been able to reconnect

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Speaker 2: in that way. What do you think has been the

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Speaker 2: hardest thing about coming out here on your own figuring

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Speaker 2: it out, Like, what's been the biggest challenge with Hollywood,

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Speaker 2: the music industry, this industry, as you mentioned, Like, what's

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Speaker 2: been the most difficult obstacle that you think you've had

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Speaker 2: to face.

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Speaker 3: I think loneliness.

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Speaker 1: It's so weird how I would assume that some people,

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Speaker 1: you know, that see me and see all that I've

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Speaker 1: accomplished and all the people that listen to my music

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Speaker 1: and follow me, they would think that that's something that

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't struggle with. But it kind of makes me

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Speaker 1: feel lonelier in a way. When I go on tour

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Speaker 1: per se and I perform in front of thousands of people,

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Speaker 1: and I get off stage and I go back into

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Speaker 1: a hotel room by myself, There's not a single thing

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Speaker 1: that could explain how empty and lonely that feels, you know,

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Speaker 1: being in front of so many people that love you

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Speaker 1: and that you're connecting with through music and then just

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Speaker 1: going back to have absolutely no one, you know, no

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Speaker 1: one to talk to about it. Yeah, it's sad, and

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Speaker 1: I deal with things daily, you know, all the time,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes I don't have the people that I can

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Speaker 1: just you know, call, like my mom. You know, I

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Speaker 1: can't just have my mom that comes here and she

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Speaker 1: can like tell me everything's going to be okay.

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Speaker 3: And it does get scary.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like I've always been very mature for

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Speaker 1: my age, but since being here, I've matured a lot,

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Speaker 1: having to deal with certain things in the industry, but

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Speaker 1: still at the same time, I feel like I'm still

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Speaker 1: a kid at heart.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: I just am only about turn twenty one, which is

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Speaker 1: crazy to think about. But I don't know, I feel

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Speaker 1: like loneliness is some that I struggle with, and it's

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Speaker 1: very hard, especially in LA and Hollywood in the industry,

305
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Speaker 1: to find the right people that you can really trust

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Speaker 1: and count on. I feel like I'm even lucky enough

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Speaker 1: to say that I found like probably four, you know,

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Speaker 1: the entire time I've been here, But you never know

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Speaker 1: what people's intentions are, and not everyone has the same

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Speaker 1: heart as you, which I feel like I struggle with

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Speaker 1: as well.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so interesting how artists, I feel for years

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Speaker 2: have struggled with being on the road alone. And this

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Speaker 2: year I got a glimpse for my first time because

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Speaker 2: I just went on a world tour. I'd never done

316
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Speaker 2: it before. I'm obviously a lot older than you, and

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Speaker 2: I was traveling from February first till up about up

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Speaker 2: until about two three weeks ago when I got home,

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Speaker 2: and that was the longest I've ever been on the road,

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Speaker 2: and I just sat there and just thought about all

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Speaker 2: my clients or friends that I have, we are musicians

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Speaker 2: and people that I work with, and I was just

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Speaker 2: sitting there thinking about how hard this would be if

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Speaker 2: I started doing this when I was fifteen or sixteen

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Speaker 2: or seventeen or twenty. And I can totally see why

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Speaker 2: it's so challenging, But it feels like no one's really

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Speaker 2: found a way to make it easier, which is why

328
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Speaker 2: you still see artists after all this time canceling tours

329
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Speaker 2: and announcing that they need a break. And it's do

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Speaker 2: you now see that as natural that it is hard

331
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Speaker 2: or do you sometimes still sometimes fall into the trap

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Speaker 2: of like, oh, it's a weakness or it's something about you,

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Speaker 2: or are you able to accept that this is just hard

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Speaker 2: to do, because I think some people kind of go

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Speaker 2: back and forth. They feel guilty that they find it

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Speaker 2: that challenging.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like it has to be hard.

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Speaker 1: With all the amazing things that I've been blessed with

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Speaker 1: doing what I do, like, there has to be things

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Speaker 1: that have to be difficult, you know, And I don't mind,

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Speaker 1: you know, struggling, because it gives me something to talk about,

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Speaker 1: to write about.

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Speaker 3: I mean, that's the whole.

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Speaker 1: That's what my whole music and everything that I'm about

345
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Speaker 1: is focused on, is you know, the things that I

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Speaker 1: struggle with, and I talk about them so that I

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00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:10,600
Speaker 1: can help people in a way. It's hard, but I

348
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Speaker 1: feel like i'd rather deal with this, you know, and

349
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Speaker 1: the struggles that come with this, then you know, having

350
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Speaker 1: to do something that I don't love and you know,

351
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Speaker 1: be unhappy with my life.

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Speaker 2: I think that's a great mindset. That's incredible that you've

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Speaker 2: been able to grasp that idea so young. I think

354
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Speaker 2: that idea and I just want to repeat it for

355
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Speaker 2: everyone who's listening because it's really powerful. You just said

356
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Speaker 2: that the life you've chosen, it comes with stresses and

357
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Speaker 2: challenges and issues, but you'd rather choose that life because

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Speaker 2: it connects you to something you love than the other life,

359
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,080
Speaker 2: which sometimes we think like there's a path that has

360
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Speaker 2: stress and there's a path that won't have any and

361
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Speaker 2: that's just not true, Like both of them have it.

362
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Speaker 2: Whether you follow your dreams or you don't follow your dreams,

363
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,680
Speaker 2: there'll be stressed on both parts, and it's about choosing

364
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Speaker 2: which one you'd rather have. So it's incredible that you've

365
00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,479
Speaker 2: grasped that idea. I know that you struggle with an

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Speaker 2: ERECTIONI in the past, and then you had a relapse

367
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:06,119
Speaker 2: during your tour as well, and I can't imagine just

368
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:10,800
Speaker 2: how challenging that is during a tour to have that

369
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:15,359
Speaker 2: experience again. Can you walk us through your relationship with

370
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:18,040
Speaker 2: it and how you've been able to try and navigate

371
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Speaker 2: it and still continue to pour out into your music

372
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Speaker 2: and connect with your fans. And you show up today

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Speaker 2: to talk about your experience. It's not easy to do that.

374
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Speaker 2: How have you done that?

375
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Speaker 1: I talk a lot about mental health because that's been

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Speaker 1: something that I've struggled with since I was six and

377
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:41,040
Speaker 1: my entire life I've never really known or had a

378
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Speaker 1: figure that has made me feel like I'm understood and

379
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Speaker 1: not alone when it comes to things like that, And

380
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Speaker 1: I feel like, fortunately now it's not as taboo as

381
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Speaker 1: it's always been. But I feel like for the past

382
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Speaker 1: almost two years now, in arexia has been one of

383
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Speaker 1: my biggest mental health struggles, and I have made a

384
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Speaker 1: song about it before, but I made that song when

385
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:13,040
Speaker 1: I was recovered at the time, so I wasn't dealing

386
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:18,080
Speaker 1: with it as hard. But an eating disorder is something

387
00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 1: that's very personal and very hard to even articulate yourself

388
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Speaker 1: because it takes over your mind and it's very different

389
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Speaker 1: for everyone else. And sometimes I shy away from talking

390
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:38,840
Speaker 1: about it because I'm either embarrassed or I don't want

391
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Speaker 1: to admit that I'm struggling at the time because it's

392
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:47,440
Speaker 1: a very toxic disorder, or it's very hard to talk

393
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:52,200
Speaker 1: about it and not be triggering to others, which gets difficult,

394
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:57,200
Speaker 1: and I still deal with it pretty bad to this day.

395
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,280
Speaker 1: I've been in talks about, you know, getting treatment and

396
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:04,720
Speaker 1: hopefully seeing someone and finally getting help, because as much

397
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Speaker 1: as I try to take time to focus on mental health,

398
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 1: when you really need intensive treatment for something and you know,

399
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,719
Speaker 1: to go away for three weeks, it's not that easy

400
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,640
Speaker 1: when you're trying to write an album, you know, and tour.

401
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,200
Speaker 1: Dealing with it on the road, though, was pretty hard.

402
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:26,480
Speaker 1: When I'm at home in La I live by myself,

403
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 1: and the only time I don't go out, you know,

404
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 1: I don't really I'm not that much of a social person,

405
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,440
Speaker 1: so the only time I leave my house is when

406
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Speaker 1: I go to the studio and I make music.

407
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Speaker 3: So being alone, I.

408
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 1: Feel like it's it's hard to struggle with inarexia, but

409
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,639
Speaker 1: it's easier because I'm alone and I don't have to,

410
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:49,200
Speaker 1: you know, deal with anyone around me or any triggers

411
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,320
Speaker 1: and things like that. But being on tour, you know,

412
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:56,119
Speaker 1: constantly being around a group of people where it is

413
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,840
Speaker 1: normal for people to eat, that's a thing that has

414
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,479
Speaker 1: to be done, you know, order to live. So to

415
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:05,119
Speaker 1: be around people that are actually that don't struggle with

416
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,439
Speaker 1: it and are taking care of their bodies and that

417
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:09,639
Speaker 1: don't have to deal with body image. And then me

418
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:14,439
Speaker 1: also having to get on stage in front of people

419
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:18,399
Speaker 1: every night where it's like people are there to see me,

420
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 1: not only like the people that come to my shows,

421
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:24,280
Speaker 1: but everyone else gets to see them because people post videos.

422
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 1: You know, there's pictures and videos taken at every angle.

423
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 1: And no matter how much I feel safe and at

424
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,480
Speaker 1: home on stage, you know, performing my songs and being

425
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,960
Speaker 1: with everyone that relates to them, in the back of

426
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:43,159
Speaker 1: my head when I'm struggling with my interrexta, all I

427
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:46,920
Speaker 1: can think about is how insecure I am and how

428
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 1: I might look and what people might say or think.

429
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Speaker 1: And I've had a lot of pretty dark breakdown moments

430
00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:00,240
Speaker 1: before stage where I couldn't even see how I could

431
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 1: get on because I couldn't even figure out what to where,

432
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:07,520
Speaker 1: you know, that would make me feel comfortable. And when

433
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,440
Speaker 1: you're on the road for how many weeks or months,

434
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 1: you don't have a huge option to you know, to

435
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:16,639
Speaker 1: wear whatever you want, like your stage outfits are your

436
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:22,159
Speaker 1: stage outfits. The biggest struggle, I think is just the

437
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:27,680
Speaker 1: physicality part of it. Scientifically, to be able to get

438
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:31,719
Speaker 1: on stage and have the energy to perform for you know,

439
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:32,359
Speaker 1: over an.

440
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:33,040
Speaker 3: Hour every night.

441
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,840
Speaker 1: You have to have energy, and energy comes with eating

442
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,560
Speaker 1: and food. And that was something that I struggled with

443
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:44,240
Speaker 1: because touring and you know, my music and all this

444
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 1: is so important to me and it's really hard to

445
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:53,920
Speaker 1: not let my eating disorder get in the way of that.

446
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:57,160
Speaker 1: And so I would have to no matter how hard

447
00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:01,199
Speaker 1: it was, but try and sit is however long it

448
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 1: takes me and force myself to eat. That way, I could,

449
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:06,639
Speaker 1: you know, get up on stage the next night without

450
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:11,000
Speaker 1: being too tired or god forbid, passing out and you know,

451
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 1: not having the energy that they came for, you know,

452
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,439
Speaker 1: because that's what it's important. And mentally too, It's like

453
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:22,119
Speaker 1: when I'm at a really low point and struggling and

454
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:25,119
Speaker 1: not eating for a while. I'm not my best self,

455
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,640
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not giving off that energy that makes

456
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,920
Speaker 1: people feel good around me, and I think that's kind

457
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 1: of the saddest part about it. You know, I want

458
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 1: to be my best self always, and so it's hard

459
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 1: trying to find a balance, you know, and figuring out

460
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 1: ways to help you but also not make things harder,

461
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:52,640
Speaker 1: because the recovery process with inarexxia is probably the hardest

462
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:56,399
Speaker 1: thing that I've ever dealt with my entire life. Like

463
00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 1: I've been through intensive I'm a therapy with hypno for

464
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 1: my BPD, but you know, just trying to figure out

465
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,919
Speaker 1: how to have a comfortable relationship with food itself is

466
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 1: something that has been one of the hardest and scariest

467
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 1: things that I've ever done my entire twenty years of living.

468
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 1: Which is hard to also do that, you know, during

469
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: this time of my life.

470
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you for being so vulnerable and open. I

471
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 2: really appreciate it, because you know, that's what I'm trying

472
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 2: to create here is a safe space where people can

473
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 2: actually be seen and heard yourself, and then everyone who's listening,

474
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 2: who's either struggling with something similar or may love someone

475
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 2: who's going through something like this. I can definitely testify

476
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 2: that getting on stage without a eating disorder is hard

477
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:51,399
Speaker 2: enough in and of itself, and so having that extra

478
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 2: layer of worrying and being concerned and even the energy,

479
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 2: as you were saying about even having the energy to perform.

480
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 2: I remember just before I was go on stage, like

481
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:04,159
Speaker 2: being present. I remember how much presence I needed. I

482
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 2: also sleep really early, so to go on to stage

483
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 2: at eight pm, I'm like, it's coming over my bedtime

484
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 2: in two hours. Like, how am I going to stay

485
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,120
Speaker 2: up without pumping my body with sugar or anything else?

486
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,960
Speaker 2: I want to stay up naturally, and that's without any

487
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 2: of the stuff you're having to think about. So I'm

488
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:22,399
Speaker 2: just empathizing and listening into what that challenge looks like.

489
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 2: What would you like people to know about anorexia so

490
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,639
Speaker 2: that they're aware, because I feel that a lot of

491
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:33,120
Speaker 2: the times these terms get normalized and we hear them everywhere,

492
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 2: but then we kind of become desensitized to it, and

493
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,400
Speaker 2: people aren't necessarily aware of how to deal with their

494
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,440
Speaker 2: friend who's going through it, or sometimes someone's kids going

495
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 2: through it. From your experience, not as like it's the

496
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 2: same experience for everyone, because we know it's not from

497
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,119
Speaker 2: your experience. What do you think it's good for people

498
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,679
Speaker 2: to know if someone they love or someone they know

499
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 2: is going through something like this or they think they

500
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:56,920
Speaker 2: might be, what would be useful for them.

501
00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,239
Speaker 1: I think the first and biggest thing is that not

502
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 1: only with just anorexia, but with all eating disorders, it

503
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 1: looks different on everyone. There's not a look to it,

504
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 1: and I feel like it's so damaging when there's a

505
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 1: common idea or image, you know, of how someone that

506
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,199
Speaker 1: is innorexic should look or how someone that struggles with

507
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 1: an eating disorder should look, and they kind of, you know,

508
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 1: take that as to how sick they are, which, uh,

509
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 1: that doesn't matter at all. And I also feel like

510
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 1: it's something that you know, but just it's impossible to

511
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:39,680
Speaker 1: understand something like inarexxia if you have not gone through

512
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 1: it before.

513
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:41,879
Speaker 3: Because I mean to.

514
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 1: Even with me just saying what I struggle without loud,

515
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:50,399
Speaker 1: and the whole idea of that me being obsessive and

516
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:55,120
Speaker 1: scared over food and obsessive with calories and terrifiedive weight.

517
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 3: Gain and a control thing, and all the.

518
00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:01,639
Speaker 1: Things that I allow myself to believe, which they're all lies,

519
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 1: and how my brain processes things and all that stuff.

520
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 1: I know that it's not real, and I know that

521
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 1: it's all lies, you know, and I know it's absolutely delusional,

522
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:18,199
Speaker 1: but that's still that's the disorder, that's what happens. And

523
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:21,960
Speaker 1: so when you don't struggle with that, you don't understand that,

524
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 1: you know. So I have a lot of people that

525
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 1: you know, I've told me before, you know, just eat,

526
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:30,360
Speaker 1: you know, or like people will say things that they

527
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:34,200
Speaker 1: think will help, but that's not that's not the issue,

528
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,919
Speaker 1: you know. I think most importantly is just to you know,

529
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:42,679
Speaker 1: with any mental health disorder or anything like that, just

530
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 1: the best thing to do for someone is to just

531
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 1: give them love and support. Sometimes it's best not to

532
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:55,639
Speaker 1: try too hard to give advice or to say things

533
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:58,359
Speaker 1: that you think are going to help, because there are

534
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:02,439
Speaker 1: some things that you know, you know, might seem helpful

535
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:06,480
Speaker 1: and that you might have good intentions by saying, but

536
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,920
Speaker 1: it might trigger someone you know, it's dealing with it.

537
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 1: For example, I know for me, and I feel like

538
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:13,960
Speaker 1: it might be a common thing for a lot of

539
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 1: people that struggle with Inorexiah, the word healthy to everyone

540
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 1: is a great word, you know, it's a positive word.

541
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 1: Everyone wants to be healthy. But for me, when someone

542
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:28,120
Speaker 1: says that I look healthy, it makes me want to spiral,

543
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:30,639
Speaker 1: you know, it makes me go crazy because that's not

544
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:34,400
Speaker 1: a word that you know, healthy to me, I associate

545
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 1: with something that you know is not the best because unfortunately,

546
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:43,720
Speaker 1: in my brain, being called sick is something that, in

547
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 1: a terrible and ugly way is something that comforts me

548
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 1: more than the word healthy, which little things like that,

549
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 1: I feel like is important for people to know that

550
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:56,080
Speaker 1: want to be there for someone that don't you know, understand,

551
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 1: it's like, just have to be wise and not walk

552
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 1: on shelves, but just be more sympathetic and understanding of

553
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 1: what they could possibly be going through even though you

554
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 1: don't understand.

555
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:08,720
Speaker 3: It's.

556
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, something to this day that I still don't understand

557
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 1: or get or I kind of struggle with even coming

558
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:19,479
Speaker 1: to terms with the fact that I deal with it,

559
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 1: because I am now at the point where I'm aware

560
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 1: of how unhealthy it is, but I still can't process,

561
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 1: you know, that it really isn't real because I still

562
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 1: have that eating disorder mind, you know. But yeah, I

563
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 1: think just being supportive and loving and dealing with it

564
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 1: with grace and patience. I feel like that's a big thing.

565
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 1: Everyone wants who they love to be better and the

566
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 1: best that they can be and healthy and to get

567
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:55,959
Speaker 1: help when they need it. But I think sometimes people

568
00:29:56,680 --> 00:30:00,640
Speaker 1: forget the fact that getting help and recover is something

569
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 1: that's very linear. I'm not linear. It's a long process,

570
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 1: you know, and it takes time and something like this.

571
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 1: I mean I've been rushed into recovery before, which led

572
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 1: me into a pretty terrible relapse.

573
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 3: You know, it takes time.

574
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:16,960
Speaker 1: So you just have to be patient with people that

575
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,760
Speaker 1: are struggling and just give them as much love as

576
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 1: you can. I feel like love goes a long way.

577
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I think for what it's worth, your awareness

578
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 2: and how eloquent you are in explaining at least what

579
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 2: you're experiencing is really admirable. Honestly, Like just hearing you

580
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,560
Speaker 2: talk about it and reflect on it. Your awareness is

581
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 2: so high, which is an incredible step in your journey.

582
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 2: And I think the advice you gave or the insight

583
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 2: you gave is really useful because I think when we

584
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:52,959
Speaker 2: love someone, we think we have to solve their problems,

585
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 2: and we think we have to say the perfect thing,

586
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 2: and we think we can fix it, and you're so

587
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 2: right that actually what we need to do is be

588
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:06,120
Speaker 2: patient and supportive and loving and kind and just be

589
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 2: there and we don't have to say the perfect thing,

590
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 2: and we don't have to have the perfect advice because

591
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 2: we don't know what it feels like. And I think

592
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 2: that that's really useful for people to hear, because we

593
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 2: think we're useless if we can't fix someone's problems and

594
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 2: we love them, and that person doesn't think you're useless.

595
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 2: That person actually prefers if they just know you're.

596
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 3: There and you don't have.

597
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 2: To have the solution. One thing I loved when our

598
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 2: teams first started talking about us setting down was your

599
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 2: eight Stages of a breakup, your new music. And I

600
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 2: wrote a book called Eight Rules of Love, and so

601
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,160
Speaker 2: when that came up, I was like, how I wrote

602
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 2: a book about love this year, which is why I

603
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 2: was on tour, And you've wrote, you've written music, you know,

604
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:53,080
Speaker 2: and I know on TikTok, I've been watching your videos

605
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 2: of each stage in each part, and I find that

606
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 2: you know, you've had two public breakups. It's never easy.

607
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 2: Could you walk us through what you find is different

608
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 2: between a public breakup and a private breakup because I

609
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 2: almost feel like we don't really grasp that again until

610
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 2: you've lived it. Oh and I'm guessing you had breakups

611
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 2: previously that were not public. Potentially the difference is, like,

612
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 2: what do you notice?

613
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 1: Breakups in general just absolutely the worst. Yeah, hard, even

614
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 1: though I feel like they are very critical experiences that

615
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 1: you have to go through in life in order to grow,

616
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:36,400
Speaker 1: they suck. But a public breakup, man, I it's just

617
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 1: the fact that it's not you know, just your close

618
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 1: relatives and friends that know about you and your relationship.

619
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 3: It's probably millions of people that have kept up to.

620
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 1: Date with you know, your relationship, and I've been so

621
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 1: invested and very like fixated on it. And even when

622
00:32:56,480 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 1: it comes to the media today, anything that happens, even

623
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 1: when it's not a breakup drama is entertainment.

624
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 3: You know.

625
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:09,200
Speaker 1: People love to talk, people love to speculate, and so

626
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 1: dealing with public breakups, I feel like all the drama

627
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 1: that has to come with it, which I feel like

628
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 1: is very unnecessary and causes a lot more pain and

629
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,840
Speaker 1: hurt to the people that are actually going through it.

630
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:23,600
Speaker 3: You know, that doesn't help.

631
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 1: But it's like when I'm dealing with the grief of

632
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:33,040
Speaker 1: a relationship and losing someone that I loved so dearly,

633
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 1: and then also on top of that, having to do

634
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 1: with hundreds of thousands of people talking about it as well,

635
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 1: saying things that aren't true, you know, saying things that

636
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 1: are hurtful, putting their two cents in it, being very

637
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 1: insensitive towards the whole thing, you know, not really understanding

638
00:33:55,160 --> 00:34:00,240
Speaker 1: because people don't understand that, you know, people in the

639
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 1: public I could possibly be, you know, actually human with

640
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 1: actual lives and like emotions when they see whatever, you know,

641
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 1: I let them on to see because I, you know,

642
00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:15,759
Speaker 1: am like a public figure. I feel like they kind

643
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 1: of take that as oh, this is that's her life,

644
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,280
Speaker 1: you know, that's all that they are but buying closed doors.

645
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 1: It's like, I'm I deal with it, you know, the

646
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 1: depth of life as just as anyone else would. And

647
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,319
Speaker 1: so a relationship and a breakup for me is just

648
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 1: as real as love is for anyone else, and I

649
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:34,359
Speaker 1: feel like.

650
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 3: People forget that.

651
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 1: So I feel like that's hard with having to deal

652
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:41,880
Speaker 1: with everyone's opinions and comments and all the stuff that

653
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:46,400
Speaker 1: comes with that. But as well as NonStop, constantly seeing

654
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 1: you know, pictures or videos and videos like you know,

655
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 1: just anything about me and my past relationship and like

656
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 1: all of that stuff. I feel like when you know,

657
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,640
Speaker 1: growing up in high school, when I first had my

658
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:05,239
Speaker 1: boyfriend and everyone started getting in like relationships, like it

659
00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 1: was like a rule, Like when you break up with someone,

660
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:09,719
Speaker 1: like you delete their number, like you on follow them

661
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 1: on Instagram, Like you don't look at them, you don't

662
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 1: talk to them, like you don't hang out with them.

663
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 1: Like it's like a out of sight, out of mind

664
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 1: type thing. You know, it helps you get You need

665
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 1: that period where it's like they're gone, you know, and

666
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 1: you can get over them easier. Well, like it's impossible

667
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 1: for me. It's everywhere, and so I feel like that's hard,

668
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,719
Speaker 1: you know, that constantly being brought up. I mean, how

669
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 1: could you expect anyone to properly move on and get

670
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:37,520
Speaker 1: over a relationship that was so deep and intense when

671
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:41,280
Speaker 1: it's constantly talked about, constantly brought up in my life,

672
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:43,200
Speaker 1: it's hard not to mention.

673
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 3: I have a song with one of my.

674
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 1: Exes, which is, uh, you know, it's just it's kind

675
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 1: of it's so different.

676
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 3: It's it's so different.

677
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:56,760
Speaker 1: And yeah, I feel like a you know, regular breakup

678
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,960
Speaker 1: through having to deal with a breakup with the public

679
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 1: is always going to be hard, and you know they're

680
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:08,800
Speaker 1: both hard, but I feel like having the media evolved

681
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 1: is one hundred percent a lot more difficult.

682
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:13,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, how did you come up with the eight stages

683
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:15,240
Speaker 2: of a breakup?

684
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 1: Oh?

685
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 3: My god, this is so funny. But I was listening to.

686
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,319
Speaker 1: So a lot of the times, I'm very intentional and

687
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:27,280
Speaker 1: I'm very thought out when it comes to every little

688
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 1: thing that I do, especially with music. But this, this

689
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 1: whole eight stages of a heartbreak and breakup thing actually

690
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 1: came after it was done. I was listening from top

691
00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:44,920
Speaker 1: to bottom through my entire EP after it was mixed

692
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:47,960
Speaker 1: and mastered, and I was kind of like, you know what,

693
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 1: this is kind of like going through like all eight

694
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:53,960
Speaker 1: stages of a breakup. So I was like, instead of

695
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 1: the seven stages of grief, like, this is like eight stages,

696
00:36:56,880 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 1: because there's eight songs of a breakup and the grief

697
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:04,279
Speaker 1: of a relationship. And I was with my Dean and

698
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 1: They're like, whoa, it's kind of it's kind of cool,

699
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:08,239
Speaker 1: and I was like yeah, And so it all makes sense.

700
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 1: Sometimes I plant things out before. Sometimes things just magically

701
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,240
Speaker 1: fall into place and make sense after.

702
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:20,240
Speaker 2: But yeah, I love it. I love it. I think

703
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,640
Speaker 2: I think when we start recognizing their stages and phases

704
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:27,080
Speaker 2: to anything, oh yeah, it helps us so much as humans,

705
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:30,160
Speaker 2: where we realize it's not just one big thing, the

706
00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 2: exactly changes in how we feel. What's the what have

707
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 2: you found to be the hardest stage in a breakup

708
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 2: for you personally? Or like, what's what's the stage that

709
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 2: you find the most challenging.

710
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 1: I feel like they're all really hard, but I feel

711
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 1: like the one I think that I call this one

712
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:50,399
Speaker 1: the desperate stage, and I just made a video about

713
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:53,399
Speaker 1: it because I have a song called Motel Whore, and

714
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:55,920
Speaker 1: I was like, this one represents the desperate stage of

715
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 1: a breakup, and it's it's kind of like that bargaining

716
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:00,879
Speaker 1: stage where you just try and do whatever you can

717
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 1: to get that person back in your life, no matter

718
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:04,800
Speaker 1: what costs.

719
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:05,640
Speaker 3: And like however you can.

720
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's when like you break up with them

721
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 1: and then you're at the point where it's like you

722
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 1: just want them in your life that you're willing to

723
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,760
Speaker 1: do whatever it is to keep them in your life somehow,

724
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 1: even though it hurts you because you know the way

725
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 1: that you want them in your life is the way

726
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:25,840
Speaker 1: that you have them before in that relationship, but now

727
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 1: it's like it's not that, and so you kind of

728
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:31,400
Speaker 1: end up hurting yourself more because you're you know, putting

729
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 1: yourself back in that place, but also knowing that like

730
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:36,760
Speaker 1: you're gonna end up leaving heartbroken again because it's.

731
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:38,799
Speaker 3: A lot harder when you.

732
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 1: Know, you try and be with that person, whether it's

733
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:45,759
Speaker 1: like friends or just like cooking up or any of

734
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:48,520
Speaker 1: that stuff, when there's like actual real love and connection

735
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:50,879
Speaker 1: on your part still, but it's like and you try

736
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 1: to convince yourself like, oh, like this is going to

737
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 1: get them back, like our relationship is going to be

738
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 1: like you know how it was before, but it doesn't happen,

739
00:38:57,719 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 1: and then it crushes you even more. I feel like

740
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,760
Speaker 1: that's the hardest stage, when you just become very desperate

741
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:05,800
Speaker 1: for any ounce of attention that you can get from

742
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 1: that person, because it ends up.

743
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 3: Breaking your heart even more.

744
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:11,839
Speaker 1: You know you didn't you could skip that stage and

745
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:14,640
Speaker 1: you know fully like lead on the path of healing

746
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:16,480
Speaker 1: the way that you should. But I think that's like

747
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 1: the one stage where we kind of like trip up

748
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:22,280
Speaker 1: the stairs and oh god, yeah we made it harder

749
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:22,920
Speaker 1: for ourselves.

750
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:26,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's well said. I can agree more that that

751
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 2: really resonates because I think we're living in that dream

752
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 2: of like what it could have been and what it

753
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:34,919
Speaker 2: should be and like they must love me, and it's

754
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:36,400
Speaker 2: I'm going to get it back and I'm going to

755
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,560
Speaker 2: win them over, And I mean we waste so much

756
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 2: time in that. What do you think is like the

757
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 2: longest stage? What stage do you think and you spend

758
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:45,280
Speaker 2: the most time in when you break up with someone

759
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 2: where you just like so much energy gets sucked out

760
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 2: in being lost at a stage.

761
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 1: Trying to recover from the codependency part, because I mean

762
00:39:56,440 --> 00:40:00,080
Speaker 1: when you're in a relationship, I know, I get so

763
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 1: codependent on someone. You know, that's the person that you

764
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,879
Speaker 1: have always. You know, there's something that you go through,

765
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 1: like you have that one person that you can talk to,

766
00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 1: cry to. They're always there for you. They become your comfort,

767
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 1: you know, that's your safe place. And then when the

768
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 1: relationship's over, it's like you don't have that, You're left

769
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,720
Speaker 1: on your own. I feel like that was the longest

770
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:26,279
Speaker 1: stage for me to get over because I was so

771
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 1: used to being so codependent on someone and you know,

772
00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:34,239
Speaker 1: having that comfort when it's all gone. Every time that

773
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,799
Speaker 1: I dealt with something that was hard for me, every

774
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,920
Speaker 1: time that I got upset, every time I felt alone,

775
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 1: I couldn't help but want and like crave that person

776
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:45,880
Speaker 1: because I was used to having them during those times

777
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:50,919
Speaker 1: and trying to escape from the codependency and learning how

778
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:56,280
Speaker 1: to love yourself and enjoy your own company and even

779
00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 1: just like coming to terms with the fact that like

780
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:00,840
Speaker 1: you can be that person for your you know, and

781
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 1: that you don't need anyone. I feel like that's the

782
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 1: longest process.

783
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 2: You're You're so right, what helped you personally in both

784
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:14,240
Speaker 2: those stages. So let's go back to the first stage,

785
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:17,239
Speaker 2: that stage of like I'm desperate, I'll do anything to

786
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:18,880
Speaker 2: get them back, Like you know, you said that was

787
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:22,280
Speaker 2: the hardest stage, Like what helped you in your life

788
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,560
Speaker 2: break through that stage? Because you're so right, It is

789
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 2: the hardest because it's the one where we have the

790
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,960
Speaker 2: most hope, but it's false hope, and it's the one

791
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 2: where we also are living the most in dreamland in

792
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:37,279
Speaker 2: our minds. So it's so hard when that picture crumbles. Yeah,

793
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,319
Speaker 2: what have you done? What's really worked for you?

794
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,279
Speaker 1: I think therapy was a big thing for me, And

795
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 1: there was a moment where during that time where I

796
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:51,720
Speaker 1: fully took the step to almost fully isolate myself, where

797
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:56,440
Speaker 1: I was only focused on myself and my healing and

798
00:41:56,480 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 1: my music and things that made me happy. And I

799
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:02,880
Speaker 1: spent that time really trying to figure out, you know,

800
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:05,840
Speaker 1: who I am as a person and the things that

801
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 1: I love and the.

802
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:07,880
Speaker 3: Things that helped me.

803
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:12,239
Speaker 1: And so it kind of like, you know, that like

804
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:15,839
Speaker 1: point of relationship where like you start to like understand

805
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 1: and like know that like person that you're with, you know,

806
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:19,719
Speaker 1: and you get closer with them.

807
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:21,240
Speaker 3: It's like that very beginning.

808
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:23,359
Speaker 1: It was kind of like I started to go through

809
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 1: that with myself, and so it kind of took me

810
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:33,279
Speaker 1: away from having to, you know, really struggle with the

811
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,439
Speaker 1: the breakup. I feel like you just got to fake

812
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:38,400
Speaker 1: it until you make it and just force yourself. And

813
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 1: there's always gonna be days. I mean, like I thought,

814
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:42,880
Speaker 1: there was like a day where I was like fine,

815
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:45,439
Speaker 1: and then two seconds later I see something and I'm

816
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 1: bawling my eyes out, you know, and even like randomly,

817
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:52,360
Speaker 1: like you know months later, I'm fully moved on, but

818
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:56,400
Speaker 1: I'll still get sad over things because like love is

819
00:42:56,440 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 1: such a strong feeling that never goes away matter like

820
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:04,479
Speaker 1: what happens or how things ended, and you know any

821
00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 1: of that, Like if you ever had true love for

822
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 1: that person, you're always going to love them. It was

823
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 1: always hard, but I think the second that I really

824
00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 1: started to prioritize myself and to really just like focus

825
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 1: on myself and fixate on that rather than how much

826
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:23,240
Speaker 1: I missed that person, it helped.

827
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:28,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's yeah, that's really I hope that's going to

828
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:29,719
Speaker 2: help you. But I hope it sits with people, because

829
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 2: you're right, it's just almost like you've got to push through.

830
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:33,480
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's not going to be easy, it's not going

831
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 2: to make sense. But when you're in that longest phase

832
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:39,399
Speaker 2: and it's just getting drawn out, how do you even

833
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:42,839
Speaker 2: keep hope and how do you even keep faith that

834
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 2: I can have love again and that I do deserve

835
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 2: to be loved. Because I think in that longest phase

836
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 2: is where a lot of people get so broken down

837
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 2: that they're like I'm not lovable. Yeah, I'm not likable,

838
00:43:55,560 --> 00:44:00,040
Speaker 2: I'm not worthy, I'm not attractive. I'm not smart what

839
00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:03,319
Speaker 2: it may be that that person made me feel. Now,

840
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 2: it's like I can't be all of those things because

841
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:08,880
Speaker 2: it's that stage is drawn out so much that it

842
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:11,880
Speaker 2: beats up your self esteem. Yeah that makes sense.

843
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 1: No, that was something that I struggled with for the

844
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 1: longest time. And I think that the more that you

845
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 1: keep yourself in that mindset like mindset, the hardest that

846
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:24,759
Speaker 1: it's going to be to get out of that, because yeah,

847
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:27,239
Speaker 1: of course, I mean like when you start kind of

848
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 1: like tearing yourself down and thinking about, you know how

849
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 1: difficult it is to find love again, that you won't

850
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,279
Speaker 1: because no one's ever going to love you and all

851
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:42,399
Speaker 1: that stuff and you're worthless and everything that comes with that.

852
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,200
Speaker 1: It's going to keep you away from doing the proper

853
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:49,719
Speaker 1: healing and to actually want to heal, because if you

854
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:52,240
Speaker 1: have that mindset, then it's like what's the point of healing,

855
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:55,160
Speaker 1: you know, and getting better. I realized I got to

856
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 1: a point where I was like, yeah, I'm never going

857
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:02,080
Speaker 1: to fall in love again or no one's ever gonna

858
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:04,280
Speaker 1: love me. And then it got to the point where

859
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:07,000
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I don't care. I

860
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,400
Speaker 1: don't care to ever have a relationship, Like, I'm fine

861
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:14,359
Speaker 1: because every relationship, I mean, there's probably gonna be a

862
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 1: few trial and error ones until you find the person

863
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:19,759
Speaker 1: that you like really end up being with, you know.

864
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:21,759
Speaker 1: And so it's no guarantee that the next one that

865
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 1: I get like in a relationship with is going to

866
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 1: be the one which would you know, most likely end

867
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:28,840
Speaker 1: up in a heartbreak that in that moment, I'm like,

868
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 1: I cannot afford to go through again, so I don't

869
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:34,440
Speaker 1: even care to, you know, be in a relationship or

870
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:38,440
Speaker 1: find love again. But then in therapy, I realize that

871
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:43,160
Speaker 1: it's that's not going to change unless you love yourself.

872
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,839
Speaker 1: I feel like loving yourself is like the biggest thing

873
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:49,120
Speaker 1: and like the most important thing, and I feel like

874
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:53,880
Speaker 1: everyone kind of neglects that because it's like it seems

875
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 1: like something that's just not like unnecessary, but we overlook

876
00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 1: it because like we are, you know who we are,

877
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:04,120
Speaker 1: and we give love to everyone around us because like

878
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:06,960
Speaker 1: that's life, you know. But I feel like a lot

879
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:10,960
Speaker 1: of the times we forget to look internally, and the

880
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 1: only way that you can give things to people is

881
00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 1: if you already have it within you. And when I

882
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:19,400
Speaker 1: realize that even if like I want to be in

883
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 1: a relationship and I want someone, I want to be

884
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 1: in love, I'm probably not capable to love someone as

885
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:27,320
Speaker 1: best as I can because I can't even love myself

886
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:31,200
Speaker 1: and I don't right now, and so yeah, I feel

887
00:46:31,239 --> 00:46:33,360
Speaker 1: like as soon as you just work on that self love,

888
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 1: that's when things start being easier, because then you also

889
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:39,160
Speaker 1: get out of that mindset where you're like you don't

890
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:43,320
Speaker 1: really need anyone, you know, and you couldn't be okay

891
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:46,600
Speaker 1: with you know, not having to look you know and

892
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 1: constantly like think about wanting a relationship or like finding

893
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:55,279
Speaker 1: that person to be with, and you can just like

894
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 1: spend you know, nights alone without having to cry about

895
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:00,360
Speaker 1: it or wish that there was someone with you.

896
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:04,840
Speaker 3: But yeah, self love, I feel like, is the key.

897
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 2: How do you find things or how have you found

898
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:10,480
Speaker 2: things that you love about yourself? Because I think we

899
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:14,800
Speaker 2: live in a society that makes us love ourselves because

900
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:17,359
Speaker 2: other people love us. So it's like if someone thinks

901
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,440
Speaker 2: you're attractive, then you think, oh, yeah, I'm attractive, this

902
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:22,560
Speaker 2: is good. Or if someone thinks you're really smart, then

903
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:24,640
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, yeah, they think i'm smart, so now

904
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 2: i'm smart. Like so much of our self value, weirdly

905
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 2: is placed on other people valuing us. How have you

906
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:35,440
Speaker 2: found things to really love about yourself? Because I agree

907
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:37,719
Speaker 2: with you fully, but how do you go that step

908
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:39,840
Speaker 2: further to be like, I really love this about myself

909
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:41,319
Speaker 2: even if no one else sees it.

910
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:45,520
Speaker 1: I could never understand the things that I could possibly

911
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:49,880
Speaker 1: love about myself until the moment that I thought about

912
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 1: my younger self, because that's still me, you know. The

913
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:56,880
Speaker 1: second that I started, you know, looking back on the

914
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:59,839
Speaker 1: person that I used to be, and you know, even

915
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 1: like six year old me, I started to think about

916
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:09,920
Speaker 1: all the things that she would be so happy and

917
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:14,239
Speaker 1: proud of that I've done, you know today, That's when

918
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:17,000
Speaker 1: I started to, you know, find things that I actually

919
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 1: could feel, you know, love for myself with and to

920
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:25,400
Speaker 1: feel proud of myself for and all of those things.

921
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:27,560
Speaker 3: And then I don't know, and then sometimes you.

922
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:29,800
Speaker 1: Just kind of have to dig a little bit deeper

923
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:33,720
Speaker 1: because I feel like self love is a lot less

924
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:39,520
Speaker 1: superficial than you know, any other love could possibly be,

925
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:43,560
Speaker 1: and it has to be really deep because it's like,

926
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:47,360
Speaker 1: you know who you are as a person to the

927
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:50,319
Speaker 1: deepest core more than anyone else could more than you

928
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:52,680
Speaker 1: can know other people in order to love them. So

929
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:54,719
Speaker 1: I feel like that's why it's tricky for us to

930
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 1: love you like ourselves, because we know the ins and

931
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:01,840
Speaker 1: outs of us and the worst parts of us and

932
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:04,960
Speaker 1: the ugliest parts, and so we're worst critics.

933
00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:07,319
Speaker 3: So I feel like that's the hardest thing.

934
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:10,959
Speaker 1: But yeah, when I thought about it, and I'm like, Okay, well,

935
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:14,040
Speaker 1: I've been able to do the things that I did

936
00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 1: which I never thought I was able to, Like, that's

937
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:20,279
Speaker 1: something that I should be proud of, the things that

938
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:24,160
Speaker 1: I've gone through that I never thought that I could

939
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:26,880
Speaker 1: make it out of and my strength, Like that's something

940
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:30,759
Speaker 1: that I should love myself for and just have compassion

941
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:35,879
Speaker 1: for myself for, even just the fact that, like, at

942
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,919
Speaker 1: the end of the day, no matter all the things

943
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 1: that I've been through and no matter like how bad

944
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:45,680
Speaker 1: people have treated me, like the fact that I'm still

945
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:47,799
Speaker 1: a good person and I still have a good heart

946
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,760
Speaker 1: and I know that you know, more than anyone else could,

947
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:53,680
Speaker 1: that's the reason why I should love myself, you know.

948
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 1: So I feel like it's just like little things, and

949
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:58,400
Speaker 1: I feel like it's just very important to just like

950
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:02,840
Speaker 1: sit down and really just like analyze yourself and to

951
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 1: you know, just take time to like understand you, which

952
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:11,439
Speaker 1: I feel like is something that I just learned how

953
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:13,200
Speaker 1: to do. But it's like, it's really nice.

954
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:15,240
Speaker 2: Everyone is listening. I want you to take a screenshot

955
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:16,640
Speaker 2: right now, and I want you to listen to that

956
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:19,799
Speaker 2: part that Nessa just said again and again it again.

957
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:21,880
Speaker 2: It can even put you to sleep, like it's so

958
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:26,360
Speaker 2: brilliant because everything you just said that literally the last

959
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:28,160
Speaker 2: thirty seconds. I promise you if you just listened to

960
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:30,920
Speaker 2: the last thirty seconds again and again and again, the

961
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:35,280
Speaker 2: point will become so clear because what you just said

962
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:39,080
Speaker 2: sums up an idea that I really believe. And I

963
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:44,480
Speaker 2: believe that self care comes from comfort, but self respect

964
00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 2: comes from discomfort. And you just said that when you

965
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 2: look back at all the things you've been through and

966
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,960
Speaker 2: all the things you survived and all the things you've done,

967
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:55,759
Speaker 2: that's what makes you love yourself. And I believe that

968
00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:58,680
Speaker 2: everyone who's listening or watching today, they've all been through

969
00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:02,560
Speaker 2: hard things. Everyone's been through some sort of difficulty in

970
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:05,480
Speaker 2: their life. There's still alive, they're still breathing, they've still

971
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 2: held onto their good heart, they're still a good person,

972
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:11,440
Speaker 2: and that's what you really want to love yourself for.

973
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:13,719
Speaker 2: And when you learn to love yourself for that, you

974
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:16,080
Speaker 2: realize no one ever gave you that, and no one

975
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:19,120
Speaker 2: can take it away, and it's yours. Whereas all the

976
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:22,040
Speaker 2: other things they will come and go and people will

977
00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:24,600
Speaker 2: change their mind, but this is something that's forever yours.

978
00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:27,440
Speaker 2: And so you just summed it up really beautifully, and

979
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:30,480
Speaker 2: I love the way you said it. I hope people will, honestly,

980
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:32,640
Speaker 2: I mean that, just repeat it again and again, because

981
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:36,319
Speaker 2: it's just rewiring our thoughts to be like, that's why

982
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:38,799
Speaker 2: I'm valuable. I'm not valuable because of all these other

983
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:41,920
Speaker 2: things that people are saying. One thing you do that

984
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 2: I love. You do a burn box on stage where

985
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:51,920
Speaker 2: you get fans to write messages and then you burn them.

986
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:53,840
Speaker 2: That is so cool. I love that. That is the

987
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:55,719
Speaker 2: dopest thing I've ever heard of. I was like, you

988
00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:58,279
Speaker 2: need to do that my next show. Where did that

989
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:00,840
Speaker 2: ritual come from? Walk me through? Did you used to

990
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:04,280
Speaker 2: do that yourself? Was that something you invented for the community,

991
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:06,920
Speaker 2: Like tell me where I came from? Because I love that?

992
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:09,920
Speaker 2: When I was like, this is amazing.

993
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:10,080
Speaker 3: Thank you.

994
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:13,759
Speaker 1: Well, the thing about my music is that it's very

995
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 1: it's very deep and meaningful. And I talk a lot

996
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,120
Speaker 1: about mental health, and I know that a lot of

997
00:52:19,160 --> 00:52:22,000
Speaker 1: the people that come to my shows are there because

998
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:25,320
Speaker 1: they have struggled and they relate deeply to my songs.

999
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:27,080
Speaker 3: You know, it's not just.

1000
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:30,799
Speaker 1: I never want my shows and my tour to just

1001
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:34,760
Speaker 1: be a show where it's you know, just me playing

1002
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:37,200
Speaker 1: you know, their favorite songs.

1003
00:52:37,239 --> 00:52:38,799
Speaker 3: Like I want this to be like.

1004
00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 1: Not like a therapy session, but like a healing, you know,

1005
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:48,000
Speaker 1: moment for everyone, Like a bonding moment, something that's really real,

1006
00:52:48,120 --> 00:52:51,040
Speaker 1: something that they can walk away from and not only

1007
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:55,240
Speaker 1: just remember the music, but the feeling that they've gotten

1008
00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:58,480
Speaker 1: from it. And I also wanted to do something that

1009
00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:01,919
Speaker 1: was interactive and how full and healing the same way.

1010
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,480
Speaker 1: And I thought that doing a burn box could be

1011
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:07,640
Speaker 1: cool and it was also kind of the easiest thing

1012
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:11,000
Speaker 1: that we could you know, execute for my show, like

1013
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:16,120
Speaker 1: at the time, but I mean, like, what better like

1014
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:20,200
Speaker 1: interactive thing to do, like on stage than to have

1015
00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 1: you know, a bunch of my fans that are coming

1016
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:24,680
Speaker 1: to the show and write on a little piece of

1017
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 1: paper things that they're struggling with. They want to let

1018
00:53:26,920 --> 00:53:29,919
Speaker 1: go of get off their chest and just like let

1019
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:33,239
Speaker 1: you know, just not bottle up anymore and just like

1020
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 1: get off their chests, write it down, anonymously, put it

1021
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:39,400
Speaker 1: in this burn box, and then watch it being burned

1022
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:39,960
Speaker 1: on stage.

1023
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:40,640
Speaker 3: You know.

1024
00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:45,040
Speaker 1: I feel like that there's something so powerful about that,

1025
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:49,520
Speaker 1: and I'm so glad that we did it because it

1026
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:51,560
Speaker 1: was it was you know, most of their like favorite

1027
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:54,600
Speaker 1: parts of the entire show, and it's helped a lot

1028
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:59,080
Speaker 1: of people and even like I've seen like people in

1029
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:01,239
Speaker 1: the crowd that cry before a while I'm burning it,

1030
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:04,759
Speaker 1: and it's just like that's what like makes that's what

1031
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:07,880
Speaker 1: makes my day, and that's what motivates me to you know,

1032
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 1: even do the show and to like do what I'm

1033
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:13,640
Speaker 1: doing now, because like that's the reason why I'm doing it,

1034
00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:18,880
Speaker 1: and it's so pure and heartwarming just to see like

1035
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:21,839
Speaker 1: how something like that, you know, that I thought could

1036
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:24,400
Speaker 1: be like a little fun, like could actually like affect

1037
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:26,120
Speaker 1: them like on a deep level.

1038
00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:28,880
Speaker 3: But yeah, yeah.

1039
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 2: Well, I mean it seems like all your music and

1040
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:33,200
Speaker 2: all the work you're doing is so healing focused. It

1041
00:54:33,239 --> 00:54:35,320
Speaker 2: seems like you're doing so much self healing. It seems

1042
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 2: like the work you want your community to do is healing.

1043
00:54:37,719 --> 00:54:39,400
Speaker 2: I think it's I mean, I think it's a genius

1044
00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:41,279
Speaker 2: idea to do on stage. It's I think it's such

1045
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 2: a beautiful thing to have rituals that communities your audience

1046
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 2: can come and do together. And I can only imagine

1047
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:50,759
Speaker 2: the incredible experience people are having. You said that was

1048
00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 2: the easiest thing you could do at this stage. What's

1049
00:54:53,120 --> 00:54:54,880
Speaker 2: like the craziest thing you want to do that you

1050
00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:57,360
Speaker 2: think would be super healing for everyone? You have like

1051
00:54:57,400 --> 00:54:59,920
Speaker 2: a vision for it, you don't have.

1052
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:03,560
Speaker 1: I just wonder something like I've had like some like

1053
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:07,480
Speaker 1: pretty crazy ideas.

1054
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 3: Let me try and think.

1055
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:12,120
Speaker 1: I just want to do like a lot like I

1056
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:15,160
Speaker 1: know that there's like certain songs that, like I've I

1057
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:18,400
Speaker 1: love to just like be able to get certain people

1058
00:55:19,520 --> 00:55:22,240
Speaker 1: from the crowd that really resonate or struggling with something

1059
00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:23,799
Speaker 1: that has to do with that song and like bring

1060
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:27,279
Speaker 1: them up and you know, have a moment with them.

1061
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:31,360
Speaker 1: I would also love like a point where I, you know,

1062
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:34,719
Speaker 1: ever have like a big enough show where I can

1063
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:37,880
Speaker 1: like actually have you know, some my fans you know,

1064
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:40,760
Speaker 1: tell their stories, because I think it's just as important

1065
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:43,799
Speaker 1: for me to have a voice as it is for them,

1066
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:46,400
Speaker 1: you know, because I've said this before, It's like I

1067
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:48,239
Speaker 1: kind of use my music to be the voice for

1068
00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:50,799
Speaker 1: the voiceless. And so when I get to a point

1069
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 1: where I can do whatever the heck I want on stage,

1070
00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 1: like I want to give them their voice, you know,

1071
00:55:57,680 --> 00:55:59,359
Speaker 1: I want them to have the mic and I want

1072
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:01,560
Speaker 1: them to say what i've they feel they need to.

1073
00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:03,160
Speaker 3: But yeah, I don't know.

1074
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:04,960
Speaker 1: I feel like there's so many like cool things to do,

1075
00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:07,560
Speaker 1: but the brin box is just like so awesome. And

1076
00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:10,080
Speaker 1: it also was like very disappointing for some venues that

1077
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:11,120
Speaker 1: I couldn't do it in because it.

1078
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:12,160
Speaker 3: Was a safety hazard.

1079
00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:15,080
Speaker 1: But yeah, and also the fire, I think fire is

1080
00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:15,960
Speaker 1: fun too.

1081
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:17,000
Speaker 4: No.

1082
00:56:17,120 --> 00:56:19,160
Speaker 2: I love the interactive element. Even in my show, we

1083
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:21,640
Speaker 2: did a ton of interactive stuff. I set people up

1084
00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:25,600
Speaker 2: on first dates on stage. I love I had what

1085
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:27,600
Speaker 2: else did we do? I locked people in the caves

1086
00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 2: for fifteen minutes. They had spend time alone without their phone.

1087
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 2: Oh my god, we were doing this all on stage.

1088
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:36,759
Speaker 2: And I love that interactive element because I agree with

1089
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:40,640
Speaker 2: you completely that people need to feel and experience this.

1090
00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 2: It's not just like some idea and you're right, that

1091
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:48,480
Speaker 2: people really do have a letting go, releasing energy in

1092
00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:51,760
Speaker 2: the room when everyone's doing it together. So I'm excited

1093
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:54,160
Speaker 2: to see what you do next, Like that's that's that's brilliant.

1094
00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:57,120
Speaker 2: I think combining music and that sort of a healing

1095
00:56:57,160 --> 00:57:01,560
Speaker 2: experience is super unique and really powerful. So I'm excited

1096
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:04,080
Speaker 2: for you to have bigger on it's these bigger venues

1097
00:57:04,080 --> 00:57:06,120
Speaker 2: and all of that to come to, all of that

1098
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:10,040
Speaker 2: to happen. One thing that comes to mind for me

1099
00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:12,400
Speaker 2: when we're talking about all of this with you is

1100
00:57:12,520 --> 00:57:15,040
Speaker 2: just you've done so much at such a young age.

1101
00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:19,120
Speaker 2: It seems like you're navigating it and doing it in

1102
00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:21,520
Speaker 2: the best way you possibly can with getting the help

1103
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:24,880
Speaker 2: and reconnect with your family doing therapy. I mean, I'm

1104
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:28,480
Speaker 2: so happy that you've been supported this young and you've

1105
00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:31,960
Speaker 2: found that support, because I either meet people who've been

1106
00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:34,840
Speaker 2: around in the industry for decades and they've just found support,

1107
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:38,520
Speaker 2: or I meet people who are young and kind of

1108
00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:41,640
Speaker 2: really gone off on a different path, and there's very

1109
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:45,240
Speaker 2: few people your age who I think have found that

1110
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:48,600
Speaker 2: and that's really incredible to see. What do you think

1111
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:53,440
Speaker 2: that young artists need in order to be supported in

1112
00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:57,520
Speaker 2: their journey of being a musician, an actor and actress,

1113
00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 2: whatever it may be, you think would be really useful

1114
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:03,600
Speaker 2: for them for people who are aspiring, because I think

1115
00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:05,880
Speaker 2: everyone would want everyone from the outside would look at

1116
00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:07,440
Speaker 2: your life and be like, I want that, I want

1117
00:58:07,480 --> 00:58:10,800
Speaker 2: to be that. What do you think they should be

1118
00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:15,880
Speaker 2: aware of in their journey in pursuit that could help them.

1119
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:20,360
Speaker 1: I think that the biggest advice and the biggest thing

1120
00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:22,200
Speaker 1: that has helped me and that I could tell anyone,

1121
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:27,280
Speaker 1: is to be very vocal and honest and open and vulnerable,

1122
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:30,720
Speaker 1: you know, to the closest people around you, to your team,

1123
00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:32,840
Speaker 1: to the people that you trust. Because I think that's

1124
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:37,920
Speaker 1: how I was able to create such a stable support

1125
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:43,440
Speaker 1: system around me from the beginning, because you know, everyone

1126
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:45,880
Speaker 1: knows the type of music that I talk about, and

1127
00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 1: everyone knows that I actually struggle with it as well,

1128
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:53,600
Speaker 1: and so I feel like that's why it's me being

1129
00:58:53,640 --> 00:58:57,480
Speaker 1: so open and honest about, you know, the things that

1130
00:58:57,600 --> 00:59:00,200
Speaker 1: I struggle with and my needs and the thing that

1131
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:03,640
Speaker 1: I need help with. I think that's helped me be

1132
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:07,840
Speaker 1: able to continue this because there's other people that are

1133
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 1: aware and in support of that as well. And I

1134
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:13,920
Speaker 1: think like even if people don't really struggle with anyone,

1135
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:17,919
Speaker 1: just being honest in yourself and never losing sight of that.

1136
00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:20,520
Speaker 1: I feel like I've even had moments where I've almost

1137
00:59:20,560 --> 00:59:22,720
Speaker 1: lost myself in this because it's so easy to get

1138
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:27,160
Speaker 1: influenced and to try and figure out, you know what,

1139
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:31,320
Speaker 1: who's the person that people want you to be, and

1140
00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:35,120
Speaker 1: who what's the type of music or you know, anything

1141
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:38,800
Speaker 1: like that that people want from you. But that's not

1142
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:42,480
Speaker 1: going to do anything but hurt you and your career.

1143
00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:46,960
Speaker 1: And I was just I had like a conversation like

1144
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:51,480
Speaker 1: not too long ago where it's like, yeah, like my

1145
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:53,280
Speaker 1: dream and my goal is to be like one of

1146
00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:55,520
Speaker 1: the biggest artists ever. Of course that's like what I'm

1147
00:59:55,520 --> 00:59:59,000
Speaker 1: doing this for. But I'm not never in my entire

1148
00:59:59,040 --> 01:00:01,800
Speaker 1: life going to sit down and release a song that

1149
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:03,800
Speaker 1: I know as a hit, or to go and write

1150
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:06,200
Speaker 1: a song that I know as a hit that doesn't

1151
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:08,360
Speaker 1: feel like me as an artist and isn't something that

1152
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:12,080
Speaker 1: I relate to, just so that you know, it'll you know,

1153
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:15,560
Speaker 1: give me a step up in the career and maybe

1154
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:19,840
Speaker 1: like you know, create this like skyrocket process for me

1155
01:00:19,880 --> 01:00:21,880
Speaker 1: because it is a hit, you know, and it's something

1156
01:00:21,920 --> 01:00:25,680
Speaker 1: that would be good in the industry. I'd rather build

1157
01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:29,520
Speaker 1: whatever I can by being myself because it's more. It's

1158
01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:34,920
Speaker 1: more like I feel more proud doing that and accomplishing things.

1159
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:38,480
Speaker 1: Just being myself and you know, saying the things that

1160
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:40,240
Speaker 1: I want to say and being real. I feel like

1161
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:43,000
Speaker 1: that means the world to me more than just you know,

1162
01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:47,360
Speaker 1: being an artist and releasing hits and being a person

1163
01:00:47,440 --> 01:00:49,720
Speaker 1: that you know. It's I feel like it's just the

1164
01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:53,800
Speaker 1: easy way out a little bit. But I feel like

1165
01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:56,160
Speaker 1: because of how I started this and how I continue

1166
01:00:57,360 --> 01:01:00,240
Speaker 1: to do all of this is what's gonna make me

1167
01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:01,960
Speaker 1: be able to do it for the rest of my

1168
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:04,280
Speaker 1: life because I'm not going to get like trapped in

1169
01:01:04,320 --> 01:01:09,920
Speaker 1: this like facade or this crazy headspace. It's like everyone

1170
01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:14,840
Speaker 1: knows me who I am, and this music helps me

1171
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:17,200
Speaker 1: and probably just as much as it helps everyone out there,

1172
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:20,040
Speaker 1: and so I feel very fortunate for that. So Yeah,

1173
01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:24,840
Speaker 1: anyone that is inspiring to do this or needs any advice,

1174
01:01:24,880 --> 01:01:26,600
Speaker 1: I would just say to be themselves.

1175
01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:31,320
Speaker 2: That's that's incredible. I you're definitely wise beyond your years,

1176
01:01:31,360 --> 01:01:34,840
Speaker 2: and you're I wish you all the best from the

1177
01:01:34,880 --> 01:01:36,720
Speaker 2: bottom of my heart. Like you know, for everything you

1178
01:01:36,800 --> 01:01:39,040
Speaker 2: just said, I think we need more art in the

1179
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:41,760
Speaker 2: world that is made from a place of healing in

1180
01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:44,160
Speaker 2: order to help people. It can still be fun and

1181
01:01:44,240 --> 01:01:47,240
Speaker 2: exciting and interactive and entertaining and all of that, but

1182
01:01:47,560 --> 01:01:49,560
Speaker 2: it's made from that deeper place which I feel like

1183
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:53,480
Speaker 2: you're definitely trying to channel. We end every episode of

1184
01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:56,520
Speaker 2: On Purpose with a final five. These are the fast five.

1185
01:01:56,600 --> 01:01:58,800
Speaker 2: The questions have to be answered in one word to

1186
01:01:58,920 --> 01:02:02,840
Speaker 2: one sentence maximum. However, when I get intrigued, I always

1187
01:02:02,880 --> 01:02:05,880
Speaker 2: go off record, which is fine. We'll do that, so

1188
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:08,640
Speaker 2: nest of these are your final five. The first question

1189
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:12,080
Speaker 2: is what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

1190
01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:16,280
Speaker 1: Let go and like, God, like, that's one hundred percent

1191
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:18,000
Speaker 1: the best advice ever.

1192
01:02:18,120 --> 01:02:21,520
Speaker 2: Beautiful, all right. Question two, what's the worst advice you've

1193
01:02:21,520 --> 01:02:22,600
Speaker 2: ever heard or received?

1194
01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:24,400
Speaker 3: Text him?

1195
01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:27,560
Speaker 2: All right, God, tell me more, Tell me more.

1196
01:02:29,440 --> 01:02:31,400
Speaker 1: You know, if you're just like in your head about

1197
01:02:31,400 --> 01:02:36,520
Speaker 1: like an extra or anything like that, and someone tells

1198
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:39,400
Speaker 1: you, you know what, just text him, do not listen, do

1199
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:41,640
Speaker 1: not you know. I feel like there's a lot of

1200
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:45,200
Speaker 1: advice that kind of just enables your bad habits. Let's

1201
01:02:45,280 --> 01:02:46,400
Speaker 1: try to stay away from.

1202
01:02:46,200 --> 01:02:49,640
Speaker 2: That, Yeah, great, great advice. So I'm gonna ask you.

1203
01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:51,640
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go slightly off peace Dare, because I think

1204
01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:53,800
Speaker 2: you might have some good advice with people. Let's say

1205
01:02:53,840 --> 01:02:56,520
Speaker 2: I have a hypothetical friend. It's a real friend. But

1206
01:02:56,960 --> 01:03:02,160
Speaker 2: let's have a friend who is around your age, and

1207
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:08,760
Speaker 2: she deals with people pleasing. She becomes friends with guys

1208
01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:12,600
Speaker 2: who actually want to get with her, but then she

1209
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:15,120
Speaker 2: doesn't like them in that way, but then she feels

1210
01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:17,680
Speaker 2: bad to tell them that. What should she do in

1211
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:21,480
Speaker 2: that scenario? Why are you laughing? There's something going to

1212
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:24,280
Speaker 2: us like this reminds you so much of myself? That's

1213
01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:27,360
Speaker 2: so funny. Great advice, but what advice would give to

1214
01:03:27,440 --> 01:03:33,200
Speaker 2: my friend? It's a real story. So I'm like actually

1215
01:03:33,200 --> 01:03:35,439
Speaker 2: asking when she listens to this, she's going to be like, Jerry,

1216
01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:36,160
Speaker 2: how did you put me out?

1217
01:03:36,200 --> 01:03:36,280
Speaker 4: Like?

1218
01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:39,200
Speaker 1: I think boundaries is like the biggest advice. And I

1219
01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:41,800
Speaker 1: feel like when you are people pleaser and you're a

1220
01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:46,280
Speaker 1: very nice person, like at the core, and you only

1221
01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:49,360
Speaker 1: see like the good in people and you can't really like,

1222
01:03:49,640 --> 01:03:52,960
Speaker 1: it's easy to like it's it's easy to ignore any

1223
01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:57,360
Speaker 1: red flags. I feel like, just try and set as

1224
01:03:57,400 --> 01:04:00,160
Speaker 1: many boundaries as yourself and just like protect yourself and

1225
01:04:01,280 --> 01:04:05,160
Speaker 1: just be cautious. I feel like being cautious is the

1226
01:04:05,200 --> 01:04:07,600
Speaker 1: biggest thing because there are sticky situations that you can

1227
01:04:07,640 --> 01:04:11,200
Speaker 1: get into just because you're genuinely a nice person and

1228
01:04:11,360 --> 01:04:16,320
Speaker 1: everyone has different intentions than you. So I think slow,

1229
01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:21,080
Speaker 1: being slow and steady and cautious, okay, And yeah, I

1230
01:04:21,120 --> 01:04:23,880
Speaker 1: don't know. Sometimes it's urgery to give advice when like,

1231
01:04:23,920 --> 01:04:28,560
Speaker 1: as I don't even know, I want.

1232
01:04:28,360 --> 01:04:30,520
Speaker 2: To know what you would do. Question number three What

1233
01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:31,520
Speaker 2: keeps you up at night?

1234
01:04:32,240 --> 01:04:32,720
Speaker 3: Honestly?

1235
01:04:32,800 --> 01:04:38,000
Speaker 1: Anything, anything and everything I could think about, you know,

1236
01:04:38,160 --> 01:04:42,160
Speaker 1: certain situations that are happening in my personal life or uh,

1237
01:04:42,360 --> 01:04:45,200
Speaker 1: you know, I I get paranoid and I have like

1238
01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:48,439
Speaker 1: anxiety about like with my family because they're so far

1239
01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:52,800
Speaker 1: from me now, or I just start thinking about deep

1240
01:04:52,960 --> 01:04:56,720
Speaker 1: things like God and the universe and aliens and weird

1241
01:04:56,800 --> 01:05:00,320
Speaker 1: stuff like that and if I'm even human. But yeah,

1242
01:05:00,440 --> 01:05:03,080
Speaker 1: I think anything keeps me up at night in a

1243
01:05:03,080 --> 01:05:07,200
Speaker 1: weird way. The even sometimes like songwriting, I feel like

1244
01:05:07,200 --> 01:05:09,680
Speaker 1: I've stayed up for hours before trying to write a

1245
01:05:09,680 --> 01:05:11,040
Speaker 1: song absolutely goes nowhere.

1246
01:05:12,160 --> 01:05:13,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it.

1247
01:05:13,640 --> 01:05:17,280
Speaker 2: A question num before if someone needs to break up

1248
01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:19,800
Speaker 2: with someone, What is your best advice to the person

1249
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:21,040
Speaker 2: doing the breaking up.

1250
01:05:21,320 --> 01:05:24,560
Speaker 1: Sit them down and have a really nice, respectful conversation

1251
01:05:24,680 --> 01:05:27,200
Speaker 1: about it, and be as vocal and honest as you

1252
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:33,560
Speaker 1: can and still have compassion and not try to let things.

1253
01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:34,360
Speaker 3: Get fired up.

1254
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:37,160
Speaker 1: Or also stand your ground, because if you already want

1255
01:05:37,160 --> 01:05:39,920
Speaker 1: to break up with them, don't let them convince you otherwise,

1256
01:05:40,520 --> 01:05:44,440
Speaker 1: and do so without cheating or being disloyal because it

1257
01:05:44,560 --> 01:05:48,480
Speaker 1: is not nice. I have this song there I wrote

1258
01:05:48,480 --> 01:05:51,600
Speaker 1: recently that was it's called leave Me Better Than You

1259
01:05:51,680 --> 01:05:54,720
Speaker 1: Found Me, And so it's kind of like that's like

1260
01:05:54,800 --> 01:05:57,160
Speaker 1: my whole thing like about breakups.

1261
01:05:57,200 --> 01:05:58,280
Speaker 3: It's like, if you're going to break.

1262
01:05:58,200 --> 01:06:02,200
Speaker 1: Up with someone, like, don't do all of the the

1263
01:06:02,360 --> 01:06:05,960
Speaker 1: yelling and the arguments and the cheating and the slamming

1264
01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:08,400
Speaker 1: the door before you leave at like when you break up,

1265
01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:11,280
Speaker 1: like literally, just have it be like a nice, mature,

1266
01:06:11,840 --> 01:06:14,680
Speaker 1: open conversation and like, you know, have it be a

1267
01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:16,880
Speaker 1: kiss goodbye rather than like a slam to the door

1268
01:06:16,920 --> 01:06:20,960
Speaker 1: out type thing. You know, don't cause any more trouble,

1269
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:25,360
Speaker 1: trouble and like pain then like you know you need to.

1270
01:06:25,720 --> 01:06:28,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, great advice, Great advice. There we go all right.

1271
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:31,760
Speaker 2: Fifth and final question. We asked this to every guest

1272
01:06:31,760 --> 01:06:34,200
Speaker 2: who's ever been on the show. If you could create

1273
01:06:34,280 --> 01:06:36,920
Speaker 2: one law that everyone in the world had to follow,

1274
01:06:37,240 --> 01:06:37,960
Speaker 2: what would it be.

1275
01:06:39,560 --> 01:06:42,400
Speaker 1: Okay, this one seems so like stupid. This is the

1276
01:06:42,440 --> 01:06:45,880
Speaker 1: first thing that I came up in my head. But

1277
01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:49,160
Speaker 1: I think that if there was a law that where

1278
01:06:50,320 --> 01:06:54,400
Speaker 1: if like you had to I feel like I'm gonna

1279
01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:56,880
Speaker 1: sound like so like cringe and like clichi you doing this,

1280
01:06:56,920 --> 01:06:59,800
Speaker 1: But like if you see someone like in public that's like.

1281
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:03,200
Speaker 3: Very like obviously.

1282
01:07:02,680 --> 01:07:05,439
Speaker 1: Going through it and like crying and like in pain,

1283
01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:09,080
Speaker 1: like give them a hug, give them like love. I

1284
01:07:09,120 --> 01:07:11,400
Speaker 1: feel like that is something that should be a lot

1285
01:07:11,440 --> 01:07:17,440
Speaker 1: I feel like nowadays there's so much hatred and separation

1286
01:07:17,640 --> 01:07:19,280
Speaker 1: in the world. I feel like we just need a

1287
01:07:19,320 --> 01:07:21,600
Speaker 1: lot more love. So if there was a law that was, like,

1288
01:07:21,640 --> 01:07:24,280
Speaker 1: if you see someone that needs it, give them love

1289
01:07:24,280 --> 01:07:25,880
Speaker 1: and give them a hug. I feel like that would

1290
01:07:25,960 --> 01:07:28,440
Speaker 1: make the world a lot more of a better place.

1291
01:07:28,760 --> 01:07:31,440
Speaker 2: That's awesome. I love it. Nasa everyone hell is a

1292
01:07:31,440 --> 01:07:35,320
Speaker 2: teenage girl music is out right now. I hope anyone

1293
01:07:35,360 --> 01:07:37,720
Speaker 2: who's going through a breakup been through a tough breakup

1294
01:07:38,320 --> 01:07:40,960
Speaker 2: just wants to have good energy and good healing in

1295
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:42,800
Speaker 2: their life should go listen to the music. I know

1296
01:07:42,880 --> 01:07:45,440
Speaker 2: that I'll be recommending it to everyone. Nasa. I'm just

1297
01:07:45,480 --> 01:07:48,200
Speaker 2: so grateful to you for you know, even just talking

1298
01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:51,000
Speaker 2: to you's been so peaceful, so calming, And what's really

1299
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:54,040
Speaker 2: wonderful is hearing someone who's obviously been through so much

1300
01:07:54,560 --> 01:07:59,320
Speaker 2: but able to express it in a really coherent way

1301
01:07:59,400 --> 01:08:04,360
Speaker 2: that's not like that's really tough. And to hear about

1302
01:08:04,360 --> 01:08:06,600
Speaker 2: all the work that you're doing on yourself and the

1303
01:08:06,600 --> 01:08:09,800
Speaker 2: therapy and the hypnotherapy and just reflecting and making music

1304
01:08:09,840 --> 01:08:12,320
Speaker 2: and expressing your art, all of that is just I

1305
01:08:12,440 --> 01:08:15,960
Speaker 2: really appreciate it, and it's wonderful to see and thank

1306
01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:17,639
Speaker 2: you so much for all the hard work you're doing

1307
01:08:17,640 --> 01:08:20,120
Speaker 2: for yourself and then to share it with others as well.

1308
01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:22,760
Speaker 2: But even just hearing you speak, I'm like, I hope

1309
01:08:22,800 --> 01:08:26,080
Speaker 2: everyone just listens to this episode on repeat because they're

1310
01:08:26,080 --> 01:08:28,080
Speaker 2: going to get so much out of it. But nessa,

1311
01:08:28,120 --> 01:08:30,000
Speaker 2: thank you so much everyone who's been listening or watching.

1312
01:08:30,080 --> 01:08:32,639
Speaker 2: Whether you're walking your dog, whether you're cooking, whether you're

1313
01:08:32,640 --> 01:08:35,599
Speaker 2: at the gym, whether you're driving, whatever you're doing, make

1314
01:08:35,640 --> 01:08:38,639
Speaker 2: sure you tag NASA and I on TikTok, on Instagram,

1315
01:08:38,680 --> 01:08:41,679
Speaker 2: on threads, on Twitter, on any platform you're using, letting

1316
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:44,080
Speaker 2: us know what stood out to you, what stuck out

1317
01:08:44,080 --> 01:08:46,960
Speaker 2: to you, what you're practicing, what moments you're re listening to.

1318
01:08:47,120 --> 01:08:50,280
Speaker 2: I love seeing what resonates with you. Maybe you're going

1319
01:08:50,320 --> 01:08:53,080
Speaker 2: to do your own burn box at home safely. Thank

1320
01:08:53,120 --> 01:08:55,519
Speaker 2: you so much for listening and watching. A huge thanks

1321
01:08:55,640 --> 01:08:58,200
Speaker 2: NASA for being here, and thank you so much. That

1322
01:08:58,280 --> 01:09:02,360
Speaker 2: was awesome. Thank you. This episode you'll enjoy my conversation

1323
01:09:02,560 --> 01:09:06,640
Speaker 2: with Megan Trainer on breaking generational trauma and how to

1324
01:09:06,680 --> 01:09:08,800
Speaker 2: be confident from the inside out.

1325
01:09:08,960 --> 01:09:11,720
Speaker 4: My therapist told me stand in the mirror naked for

1326
01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:13,639
Speaker 4: five minutes. It was already tough for me to love

1327
01:09:13,680 --> 01:09:16,400
Speaker 4: my body, but after the C section scar with all

1328
01:09:16,479 --> 01:09:18,720
Speaker 4: the stretch marks, now I'm looking at myself like I've

1329
01:09:18,760 --> 01:09:21,320
Speaker 4: been hacked. But day three, when I did it, I

1330
01:09:21,360 --> 01:09:23,080
Speaker 4: was like, you know what, her thigh is a cue