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Speaker 1: Motherfucking mini everisol MANI episode, motherfucking mini EPISOD.

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Speaker 2: Sitting up in my room back here thinking about you.

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Speaker 2: I must confess I'm a mess for you. There it is,

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Speaker 2: There it is.

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Speaker 3: Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My

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Speaker 3: Mama Told.

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Speaker 4: Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets

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Speaker 4: of black conspiracy theories.

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Speaker 3: And we finally work to prove the theories that you

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Speaker 3: the listener have at home. It's a motherfucking mini episode.

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Speaker 4: Come on, what are you thinking? It's many? Do you

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Speaker 4: guys think we're gonna listen? We're gonna read You said

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Speaker 4: that could.

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Speaker 3: Be good, could be terrible, and that's on y'all.

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Speaker 4: But we're gonna read it because we have committed. We

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Speaker 4: have committed to doing this podcast. Why so we God

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Speaker 4: damn it.

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Speaker 3: That's the only way it happens. We got an email.

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Speaker 3: You're gonna read it.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna read it. We got an email. Loved the title,

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Speaker 4: and that's kind of where we went from the title

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Speaker 4: of this email. Those uncut gems. M h, there we go.

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Speaker 4: This person does not want us to say their name.

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Speaker 4: Hi Langston and David, Hi David and Langston, it doesn't

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Speaker 4: David Langston, certified white devil woman who lives in the Midwest. Here,

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Speaker 4: I'm listening to your latest episode about circumcision, and I

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Speaker 4: have some field research to share. I've seen upward of

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Speaker 4: fifty dis.

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Speaker 3: Damn, congratulations.

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Speaker 4: Good for you. I like ye out they're living. I

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Speaker 4: don't know how old you are, and the majority of them,

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Speaker 4: and the majority of them have been uncircumcised. That's got

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Speaker 4: to be a regional thing, right, uh Y.

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Speaker 3: It felt when I read that sentence the first time,

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Speaker 3: not knowing more because she sort of explains more as

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Speaker 3: we go along. But I will say it felt like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: either you live in a weird pocket of America or

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Speaker 3: you don't fuck here.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, or maybe she's just like one of those ladies

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Speaker 4: who goes one of those white ladies who goes to

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Speaker 4: African clubs. Oh right, al right, Like you've.

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Speaker 3: Really you've leaned in on the type of people that

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Speaker 3: you're gonna have sex with.

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Speaker 4: Oh see, they seem like some of the happiest women

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Speaker 4: I've ever seen in the world. Okay, they're just excited

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Speaker 4: to be there. Uh okay, and the majority of them

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Speaker 4: have been uncircumcised. While the cut ones are prettier to

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Speaker 4: look at. The uncut ones are my preferred mode of

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Speaker 4: Transportation's okay, I find them easier to work with for

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Speaker 4: manual and oral stimulation. Is I don't need quite as

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Speaker 4: much spit to ensure a smooth experience. There we go.

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Speaker 4: I concur with the findings that the other circumcised penis

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Speaker 4: are more sensitive and you get more bang for your

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Speaker 4: buck in terms of feeling like an absolute sex goddess

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Speaker 4: with the slightest touch. I haven't noticed the significance difference

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Speaker 4: in my significant difference in my pleasure, but that that's

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Speaker 4: a date point I'll take note of going forward.

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Speaker 3: WHOA Okay, So she's saying, pound for pound, she's seen

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Speaker 3: more uncircumcised penises than they have been more to her liking.

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Speaker 4: She likes the alternative. It sounds like she likes the features,

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Speaker 4: you know what I mean? Right, It's like like either way,

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Speaker 4: she's driving a camera, but she wants the power windows,

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Speaker 4: and I think that's nice.

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Speaker 3: Mmm, she wants She's gonna pay extra for the for

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Speaker 3: the leather seats.

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Speaker 4: Right, she needs the backup cam. Baby.

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Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, this one don't come with a CD drive.

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Speaker 4: My man and you got. She says, it does bear

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Speaker 4: mentioning that most of these penises have belonged to men

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Speaker 4: who were born outside of the US or who were

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Speaker 4: born to immigrant parents.

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Speaker 5: Is okay, exception foreigners? Yeah, which cup bless her. Somebody

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Speaker 5: has to somebody asked to the exception being Muslim men

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Speaker 5: their circumcised no matter what the country of origin, in

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Speaker 5: my experience, which I think is best. It's also worth

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Speaker 5: noting that size and circumcision don't seem to correlate. I've

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Speaker 5: seen some massive cut dicks and some tiny, little uncut

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Speaker 5: ones and vice versa. I don't agree to disagree, and

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Speaker 5: in my experience.

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Speaker 3: Wait a minute, let's be let's be clear. Here is

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Speaker 3: your argument that just by not getting cut, your your

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Speaker 3: it is just bigger than what it would have been

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Speaker 3: if it were cut.

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Speaker 4: I think that you know how a goldfish grows to

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Speaker 4: the size of the tank. Whoa. I think if you

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Speaker 4: limit the size of the tank, you.

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Speaker 3: Limit, and that extra can scan is just a bigger

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Speaker 3: tank for your peepe to grow.

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Speaker 4: Yes, sir, Wow, powerful stuff here. Not a terrible theory

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Speaker 4: I've had. I've had worse. I have had worse. On uh,

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Speaker 4: she says, and in my experience, race and or nationality

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Speaker 4: don't seem to be deciding factors in size either. Penises

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Speaker 4: really do run the gammut. Love the podcast and can't

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Speaker 4: wait to watch both of your specials. I'm going to

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Speaker 4: sign off with the pseudonym since my ex listens to

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Speaker 4: the pod and I don't need him knowing my business.

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Speaker 4: I think that I think that probably figured it out

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Speaker 4: by the stats you drive.

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Speaker 3: Wait a minute, this person fucked fifty people at the

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Speaker 3: United Nations?

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Speaker 4: Is that you, you bitch? I don't know everybody? And

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Speaker 4: she says, foreskin, we yours? Is he uncut? Is he uncut?

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Speaker 4: Thank you? Is he for normalizing cool digs?

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Speaker 3: I think is? He? Certainly has given us a lot

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Speaker 3: to think about. I don't I don't know how normalized.

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Speaker 3: I would say this makes it uh, but but I

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Speaker 3: will say and maybe this is worth this is absolutely

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Speaker 3: worth mentioning it. I mentioned that I had a son

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Speaker 3: very recently.

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Speaker 4: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: And one of the things that we found out, and

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Speaker 3: this is only through experience, is that in La or

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Speaker 3: in California. I think it might be everywhere, but specifically California,

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Speaker 3: the ob is the person the gynecologists as a person

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Speaker 3: that's meant to do the the I guess it's the OB.

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Speaker 3: It's not the gyn of cologists because they're not always

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Speaker 3: the same. But the OB is the person that's meant

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Speaker 3: to do the circumcision. The person that delivers the baby

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Speaker 3: is meant to do the circumcision. And in the case

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Speaker 3: of my wife, her OB doesn't do circumcisions. So we

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Speaker 3: were at the hospital like, yo, ready to get my

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Speaker 3: man taken care of while we're here, you know, when

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Speaker 3: the trauma isn't like fresh and we don't really know

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Speaker 3: him that much.

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Speaker 4: And they'd rather do that to a stranger. I understand.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think so, and as quickly as possible and

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Speaker 3: then just start our life, you know, sort of like

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Speaker 3: in repair from there. And they were like, oh, she

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Speaker 3: doesn't do them. You got to schedule a separate appointment

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Speaker 3: with a separate doctor, which then took basically two weeks.

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Speaker 3: And so he just got circumcised. And it is traumatic

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Speaker 3: as a parent, way more than I anticipated.

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Speaker 4: Like there were.

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Speaker 3: Multiple uh, he had a he had a he had

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Speaker 3: a couple of days where he was sort of like, bro,

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Speaker 3: what the fuck. I really thought it would be much

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Speaker 3: more like we're in the you know, the the fucking

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Speaker 3: recovery room, and they take him away for a few minutes,

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Speaker 3: and then he comes back and his penis is different,

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Speaker 3: and instead it's a lot of like we had to

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Speaker 3: put numbing cream on him beforehand, and then they had

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Speaker 3: to inject him and we had to like be in

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Speaker 3: the room sort of like while he was having and

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Speaker 3: he was fine. And it's a very simple procedure. But

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Speaker 3: even the doctor was very frankly upfront being like, this

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Speaker 3: is not if at any point you guys are doing

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Speaker 3: this because you felt some like moral obligation. It's not

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Speaker 3: that you There's no major differences here other than a preference,

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Speaker 3: and this is truly a cosmetic surgery. No, I didn't

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Speaker 3: mention a goldfish name, but but I didn't ask either.

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Speaker 3: I don't think I had the foresight to know that

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Speaker 3: that was a possibility, or the foreskin. Frankly, I don't

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Speaker 3: have either. We're calling upon you because we have we

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Speaker 3: have new merch. We have very exciting merch that we

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Speaker 3: are now selling and it's it's fucking great. We love

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Speaker 3: it so much.

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Speaker 4: Just sleek, it's sexy.

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Speaker 3: Come on, you want to tell them what we have?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is

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Speaker 4: really fun. We have a two tone hat Alien Dad

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Speaker 4: hat the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we

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Speaker 4: have the enamel pin with the alien who has a

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Speaker 4: coofie on it since my mama told me. And then

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Speaker 4: we have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which

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Speaker 4: is who you are.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you can buy the merch now go to my

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Speaker 3: mama told me that merch table dot com. It's a

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Speaker 3: brand new name, but it's the same old merch and

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Speaker 3: we would love for you to get some if you

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Speaker 3: haven't got it already, and we want you to have

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Speaker 3: all the sweet stuff, so get it.

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Speaker 4: How do you feel in hindsight having seen the process

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Speaker 4: from that angle, does it change any of your feelings

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Speaker 4: about it?

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Speaker 3: Admittedly it made me feel like I was kind of

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Speaker 3: doing this in a selfish way as it was happening,

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Speaker 3: Like it did not feel at all like, oh, this

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Speaker 3: was altruistic. But then I also felt like, while I'm

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Speaker 3: not doing any harm to this person, this is not

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Speaker 3: going to be some weird lasting thing, but it is

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Speaker 3: sort of like, oh, I didn't have to do this,

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Speaker 3: and like our Dick's matching is not like a hugely

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Speaker 3: necessary thing for him to be able to function out

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Speaker 3: in the world. I'm I'm fine, Yeah, I'm gonna say

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Speaker 3: this respectfully.

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Speaker 6: I want to know my son more.

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Speaker 3: I'd like us to be closer than you and your father.

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Speaker 4: Now that's reasonable, that's fair.

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Speaker 3: I think it's got a better chance of coming up

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Speaker 3: with us. But I hope this podcast changes that. I

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Speaker 3: hope you you reconnect, show each other your dicks.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it made me feel a little.

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Speaker 3: Selfish in a way that I didn't anticipate until I

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Speaker 3: was being held accountable by the the burocracy of medicine.

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Speaker 4: I mean. The good thing, though, is ultimately you moved

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Speaker 4: in a way that you felt like was most benefs

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Speaker 4: official for your son, and that's that's a beautiful thing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I do think it was for him mostly.

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Speaker 4: Things.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if it does come out little, I am going

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Speaker 3: to think about that quite a bit though, Like perty, Yeah.

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Speaker 4: That's all me. So you could have been one of

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Speaker 4: the great.

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Speaker 3: So I hear, I hear, Izzy, And I I think

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Speaker 3: this is a valid little piece of research that you for.

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Speaker 4: Sharing that truly, truly, truly, I think I think I

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Speaker 4: think it's also good for someone to be like I've

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Speaker 4: seen a gang of them, they work the same. I think.

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Speaker 4: I think there is somewhat of a stigma if you want,

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Speaker 4: about there being an actual difference when they're really.

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Speaker 3: Really yeah, And I think that is maybe the greater

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Speaker 3: lesson that I learned through this process, and it sounds

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Speaker 3: like Isy learned through a different kind of process, is

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Speaker 3: that they are they run the gamut, but they are

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Speaker 3: in some ways all the same as well. They truly

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Speaker 3: are are all the things and yet the same goddamn thing.

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Speaker 3: And it really just comes down to preference and familiarity. Beautiful,

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Speaker 3: Well we did it, I mean we did something. I

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Speaker 3: think we did something. We want to tell the people

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Speaker 3: where they can find you what you got going on?

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Speaker 4: Cool guy jokes eighty seven on Instagram. I've been saying it.

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Speaker 4: I got a comedy special. It drops August the first.

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Speaker 4: It's called Birth of a Nation. It's very, very funny.

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Speaker 4: You can view it. You can purchase it on patreon

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Speaker 4: dot com, backslash David Bori. Sign up for my free

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Speaker 4: Patreon go on. There's over thirty different videos and behind

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Speaker 4: the scenes content, interviews with friends of mine, old content

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Speaker 4: that I made years ago, and vlogs just so you

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Speaker 4: can kind of get to know me so you understand

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Speaker 4: the special. It's very funny. Also, watch Exploding Kittens on Netflix.

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Speaker 4: I'm on four or five episodes or some shit. They

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Speaker 4: kill me at the end, but they're still good. WHOA,

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Speaker 4: don't spoil it. Oh, they don't kill me at the end.

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Speaker 4: What are you doing?

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Speaker 3: That was gonna I was actually gonna watch.

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Speaker 4: I was excited us a watch. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I like animated shit and it just sounds really funny.

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Speaker 4: You're fah, it's pretty funny. It's really funny.

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Speaker 5: Uh.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, you can follow me at Likeston Kerman and you

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Speaker 3: can watch my special August twentieth on Netflix. It's called

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Speaker 3: bad Poetry. And if you want to send us your

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Speaker 3: own drops, your own conspiracy theories, if you want to

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Speaker 3: tell us about the seventy five dicks you've been with

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Speaker 3: and how they are a more clear breakdown selection than

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Speaker 3: Izzy's selection of Dickson, send it on to my Mama

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Speaker 3: pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear

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Speaker 3: from you. By the merch rate Review subscribe tally ho.

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Speaker 3: That's all I know. By bitch, I want you to

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Speaker 3: know this.

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Speaker 6: If your prayers include me to stop drinking, stop smoking,

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Speaker 6: and stop having fun and stop.

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Speaker 4: Watching these little bitches.

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Speaker 6: Pop d as if your prayers include any of those

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Speaker 6: things and not gonna work, because I'm rejecting them all,

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Speaker 6: and I will be continuing in my saying we can

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Speaker 6: ask motherfucking ways.

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Speaker 4: I gets it that the way you want to.

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Speaker 1: Put motherfucking mini yourself mini epis motherfucking mini ever sew

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Speaker 1: motherfucking Mini your self Mini ever so all the fucking

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Speaker 1: mini himself.

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Speaker 3: I mm hmm