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Speaker 1: Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio

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Speaker 1: and the Black Effect Network.

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Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks.

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Speaker 1: What's up, y'all? Thank you for tuning in for a

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Speaker 1: new episode that We Talked Back, a show dedicated to

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Speaker 1: you dreamers and chasers. This is your co host AJ Holiday.

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Speaker 1: What's Up Tandem?

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Speaker 2: Hey, y'all, I love y'all. Thank y'all for tuning in again.

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Speaker 1: What's up?

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Speaker 2: AJ? How was your weekend?

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Speaker 1: Rainie, rainy, quiet, cleaning, domestic shit. I do much, y'all.

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Speaker 1: Just chill out, relive, wifey, get ready for Monday.

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Speaker 2: I've been so as you know, I moved out of

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Speaker 2: my home, so it's my sound good. Okay, As you know,

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Speaker 2: I moved out of my home and I've been staying

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Speaker 2: with my best friend and my guy kids. And I

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Speaker 2: love my guy babies and I'm and enjoying this time

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Speaker 2: with them. But Yo, these kids is off the chain.

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Speaker 2: My friend deserve a fucking medal. B I'm talking about

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Speaker 2: from seven in the morning, screaming, yelling, running shit on.

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Speaker 2: She sweep the floor about thirty times a day. I

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Speaker 2: swear to God, I get I'm getting woken up with

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Speaker 2: a finger in my eye. Wake up, get up. Oh goodness.

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Speaker 2: She wants me to carry her. She wants me to

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Speaker 2: They don't want their mama to do ship for them

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Speaker 2: no more that I'm here, you know. I want you

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Speaker 2: to bathe me. I want you to read the story

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Speaker 2: to me. I want you to put me to bed.

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Speaker 2: I want you to break And she loving every minute

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Speaker 2: of it. She's like, they don't want me, bitch, go

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Speaker 2: you on. So I'm join that. That's been my weekend.

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Speaker 2: Just spend the time with the kiddies. That's all.

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Speaker 1: I love the kids, man, I definitely love even more

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Speaker 1: that you can send them home. Yes, when you do,

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Speaker 1: I think only people who got patients to be able

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Speaker 1: to have kids for real, because I'd be seeing some

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Speaker 1: people who be yelling at their kids. Sit down, shut up.

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Speaker 1: I can't stand it. I swear I'd be wanting to

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Speaker 1: take my dad and belt off on adults because once

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Speaker 1: you don't screen with your kid in public? Who really

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Speaker 1: looks crazy? Because we expect kids to act out? But

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Speaker 1: why you yelling?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: Lost control?

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Speaker 2: Maybe? But do kids will make you want to yell? Though?

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Speaker 1: Man?

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Speaker 2: I swear you can't see it like you can't even

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Speaker 2: have a parent who's like patient all the time. And

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Speaker 2: you just might witness that one time when they're at

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Speaker 2: there with saying with a kid, you know, so you

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Speaker 2: got to give him some grace to yelling parents too.

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Speaker 1: My nephew big now. But I remember one time his daddy,

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Speaker 1: my sister husband beat the shit out his ass, not

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Speaker 1: like beat him up, just get belt and actually beat him.

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Speaker 1: Did he beat him with a bell. He might have

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Speaker 1: just had him with his hand. But I was filled

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Speaker 1: with so much joy, okay when he got his ass

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Speaker 1: because when I tell you, he had pushed some buttons

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Speaker 1: for days and they just was letting him this whatever.

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Speaker 1: Pooky da da da da da man he said something

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Speaker 1: in his daddy man. I was like, yes, finally finally

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Speaker 1: get his eyes whooped. And I don't even like it kids,

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Speaker 1: but mas sometimes you know, he was a little even then,

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Speaker 1: you know, still like in elementary you need to get

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Speaker 1: your ass whoop a little bit, just a little tiny bit.

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Speaker 2: I remember one time me and my sister we were

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Speaker 2: in Belgium and we had her daughters and they were

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Speaker 2: little then they're grown now, but we were in Belgium

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Speaker 2: just like you know, do tourists doing the tourist thing,

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Speaker 2: and my niece was just being a fucking demon child like,

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Speaker 2: she was just so bad. And I think after about

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Speaker 2: four hours of misbehaving, my sister came to me. She

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Speaker 2: was like, I need you to get your niece and

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Speaker 2: I need you to go ahead of us because I'm

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Speaker 2: going to kill her. So can you please just get

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Speaker 2: her and go? And she was looking at me with

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Speaker 2: all the sincerity of her soul. I was like, let

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Speaker 2: me get this girl about to really die out here.

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Speaker 1: Let me take these some kids to be pushing you, man,

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Speaker 1: I seen it. I seen them. They're looking at you.

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Speaker 1: Why they're about touch some shit? You? Doesne told them

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Speaker 1: not to touch thirty times? You gotta have patience because

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Speaker 1: you're going to repeat yourself a lot with the kids

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Speaker 1: that a lot of kids don't.

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Speaker 2: Let's get the sense.

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Speaker 1: Are you watching the Olympics? Is anybody watching?

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Speaker 2: I think people are watching. I have not watched this yet,

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Speaker 2: but I will watch when it gets to like track

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Speaker 2: and field, yeah, because yeah, that's when I really like

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Speaker 2: to tune in. I did not feel the Olympic outfit,

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Speaker 2: the openness, the blazer with the striped shirt and the jeans.

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Speaker 2: I mean I think it was kind of given classic

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Speaker 2: American polo, you know, kind of yeah, but it was

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Speaker 2: just not Maybe it was the striped shirt under it.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it should have been ugly.

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Speaker 1: It's basic. Okay, they could take a little play out

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Speaker 1: some of the other uniforms book.

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Speaker 2: I could see what they were trying to do. But

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Speaker 2: everybody can't wear it, you know. I just feel like

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Speaker 2: it needed to be tailored to fit everyone, and it

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Speaker 2: just looks sloppy on a lot of people.

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Speaker 1: I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all.

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Speaker 1: So who you think was best stressed?

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Speaker 2: I think Lebron looked good in his. He had his

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Speaker 2: little jacket cut to fit. That's it. I didn't really

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Speaker 2: see nobody else that was wearing you know, that made

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Speaker 2: that look sharp? Did you know?

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Speaker 1: I didn't like America's shit at all. You know, they

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Speaker 1: had like the little lineup with all the the other

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Speaker 1: countries and Mongolia, Mongolia, Mongolia. They shit lit, Okay.

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Speaker 2: I like them. I like Liberria, Liberia look nice, Hades

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Speaker 2: look nice. Yeah, because I Bearry had the nick cut

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Speaker 2: out on their top that was the shape of Africa.

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Speaker 2: I thought that was fire. So yeah, I thought it

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Speaker 2: was nice America, but America looked stuffy.

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Speaker 1: And let's talk about opening that. It's gon viral right

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Speaker 1: now for the Olympics. A lot of people are saying

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Speaker 1: it kind of looks like the First Supper, the Last Supper,

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Speaker 1: the last Supper. The first Supper looked like the last Supper?

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Speaker 2: Man, I was that what that was supposed to be

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Speaker 2: or did it just end up looking like that?

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Speaker 1: I don't think anything is happened stance. When we're talking

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Speaker 1: about television telling you lies visually, they definitely put a

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Speaker 1: lot of thought in the in presentation. So I think

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Speaker 1: it is exactly what we think it is. Taylor even

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Speaker 1: sent somebody nuts hanging out on an image.

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Speaker 2: What was that nuts meant to be out? Because that's crazy.

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Speaker 2: If they meant for their nuts to be out.

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Speaker 1: You have just men to see them. I feel like

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Speaker 1: it was purposely done some nuts. I think it was

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Speaker 1: just one or two little ones. I don't know, but

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Speaker 1: it was some nuts. Y'all seen that picture. Zoom in

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Speaker 1: a little bit on the image what they like posing

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Speaker 1: at the end, just zooming and there's a white guy

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Speaker 1: to the to the to the left with some black

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Speaker 1: shorts on it. You'll see two beige balls of one

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Speaker 1: just sitting out of his short leg.

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Speaker 2: Well, I don't understand what the point of, you know,

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Speaker 2: mocking or what they were trying to do when the

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Speaker 2: first supper, like I mean the last look the first

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Speaker 2: the last supper, Like, what was the what was the point?

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Speaker 2: You know you just said.

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Speaker 1: It mocking God? You know what I'm saying, mocking the

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Speaker 1: last supper, This Jesus Christ.

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Speaker 2: As far as I'm concerned, why they're.

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Speaker 1: Trying to show you who's in charge?

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Speaker 2: Who? Okay, y'all keep reading that story will end with.

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Speaker 1: Exactly exactly and we don't get a little bit into

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Speaker 1: that later on in the in the episode. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: like I feel like that's what they're doing. You know,

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Speaker 1: people like to mock God. People play God, and I'm

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Speaker 1: not God is in me. I don't think it's a

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Speaker 1: thing that's outside of me. But these these things that

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Speaker 1: we be looking at online and on TV, it's not

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Speaker 1: from anything nice, it's not from anything good. It's kind

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Speaker 1: of where and the Olympics is an ancient event. This

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Speaker 1: thing has been going on for a long long time,

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Speaker 1: so it's full of rituals. As far as I'm concerned,

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Speaker 1: it's a lot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, can't the flame, the lighting of the flame and

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Speaker 2: all that stuff. It definitely seems like some you know,

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Speaker 2: ancient ritualistic things. People from all over the earth come

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Speaker 2: together to compete, you know.

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Speaker 1: It is you just don't see people dying. But just

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Speaker 1: think about like medieval times and how they would have

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Speaker 1: like these big, big stadiums, stadiums with the people fighting,

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Speaker 1: you know, and it was it was for the the

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Speaker 1: I would say, equivalent to our government, right, It was

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Speaker 1: for the kings and queens to keep the common folk

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Speaker 1: entertained while they do all their fucking bidden and bad

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Speaker 1: shit on the back end. See when when you're no

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Speaker 1: longer entertained, they can't get shipped past you no more

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Speaker 1: because now you're paying attention. So just be mindful what

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Speaker 1: you line your energy to and what you're watching. That's all.

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Speaker 2: Well, speaking of entertained Simon Boughs, they do it a

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Speaker 2: good job, because Simone Bows really entertained the funk out

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Speaker 2: her flawless flawless balance being routine where she scored fourteen

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Speaker 2: point seventy three three, the highest on the apparatus. Go ahead,

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Speaker 2: my little suss like I can't tell that, I mean,

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Speaker 2: I saw her flipping. I don't know how it's judged,

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Speaker 2: but it looked good as far as I'm concerned. Like,

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Speaker 2: little sister can do that ship. Could you imagine jumping

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Speaker 2: on that beam and not breaking in it?

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Speaker 1: What's it trying to get her to stop doing things

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Speaker 1: because other people couldn't do it? Like, so it's like

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Speaker 1: not fair, right, what she's a fucking superhero, y'all? Can't

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Speaker 1: do what she do?

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Speaker 2: All right, you're not supposed to be able to do

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Speaker 2: it in practice. Bit a Snoop Dogg came through. He

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Speaker 2: danced the Olympic torch through Paris ahead of the opening ceremony.

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Speaker 1: Throwing and everything else on Instagram.

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Speaker 2: Okay, we don't.

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Speaker 1: Got no better representation? Is that what we're saying?

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Speaker 2: That is America?

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Speaker 1: So this is a clown state.

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Speaker 2: What is better? The Snoop Dogg throwing up big crip

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Speaker 2: in Paris? Is it what we stand for in this country?

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Speaker 1: Damn it? Man litsteny y'all. I am actively trying to

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Speaker 1: get citizenship elsewhere.

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Speaker 2: I need anohings you can go to Ghana.

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Speaker 1: No, I don't want to go to Africa, so I

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Speaker 1: want citizenship. I mean I can get another passport Africa

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Speaker 1: just to have it. But I prefer Barbados. That's why

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Speaker 1: I want glass. So Rihanna, if you're listening and I

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Speaker 1: asked this before, Okay, I need a Beaesian husband. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I can marry one over there and have my husband

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Speaker 1: over here in America, so I get that citizenship.

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Speaker 2: You whispering into the mic like a million people not

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Speaker 2: gonna hear it, don't matter if you whisk the beach. Goodness.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I need that that citizenship, that Beijian citizenship, Okay,

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Speaker 1: And the easiest way to get it is by way

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Speaker 1: of marriage or college, like if you went to school

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Speaker 1: over there. Investment obviously, you know, if you're an investor

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Speaker 1: and stuff like. That's most countries. But girl, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I need to be able to get the fuck up

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Speaker 1: out of here when she gets real, cause it's scary'all.

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Speaker 1: Don't know if y'all paying attention or not. But it's

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Speaker 1: the I try. Like we had that episode Digital Detalks.

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Speaker 1: I'd be trying, y'all. I'd be trying a certain time

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Speaker 1: and day I might tell me no, I start sending

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Speaker 1: a bunch of memes because that's when I'm most active

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Speaker 1: on the internet, on social media. But man, I can't

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Speaker 1: take it. I can't take it. I'd be trying to.

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Speaker 2: Really, it's really, it's really real. Well, what can you do?

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Speaker 2: You know? That's why I've decided that I just try

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Speaker 2: to find ways to have peace and joy just in

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Speaker 2: my immediate space, because I can't really do anything about

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Speaker 2: hugely about the collective. So if I can just provide

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Speaker 2: peace and joy to myself and some to my listeners

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Speaker 2: as much as I can, that's all I can do

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Speaker 2: right now. I don't know, that's all. That's all.

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Speaker 1: Did you see Rick Ross? Baby? Mom? I'm gonna tell

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Speaker 1: y'all ta camp now. She's one of my favorite social

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Speaker 1: media personalities. Okay, this bitch did miss Netta so dirty

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Speaker 1: over the weekend. I did catch that over the weekend.

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Speaker 1: I watched it a thousand times. I think it was

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Speaker 1: the Jazzmine brand. They actually had a part of the

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Speaker 1: of what she was saying like transcripted out in the caption.

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Speaker 1: Dodd laughed so hard. The ship she was saying to

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Speaker 1: this man's like, how you come off the dome? I

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Speaker 1: can't read that well? And you know they say usually

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Speaker 1: the gay men really read jazz down. But he could

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Speaker 1: not keep up with Ta KMP.

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Speaker 2: Well, I think Miss Netta goes by she and not he.

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Speaker 2: It's so she was read down by TKM big time,

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Speaker 2: Like does she go batch Miss Nettle?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just last week she was. He was online saying

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Speaker 1: how he doesn't want to be a woman, and if

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Speaker 1: he did want to be a woman, he'd be want

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Speaker 1: to be a white woman because black women are fucking dumb.

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Speaker 1: Did you catch that's what he said? Yes? Oh no,

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Speaker 1: I missed that just just last week. So I don't

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Speaker 1: think he like, you know, the older generation, like we

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Speaker 1: talked about this on previous episodes, only the older generation.

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Speaker 1: I don't think they really get into the pronouns like that,

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Speaker 1: but I want to respect them. So whatever she goes by.

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Speaker 1: But I thought I just assumed.

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Speaker 2: If I just assumed, if you go by Miss, you

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Speaker 2: would subscribed to she. But maybe I'm wrong.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: God damn, I can't.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because I don't see it. Don't miss when I

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Speaker 1: see that, nigga, Okay, I don't. I'm sorry. I don't

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Speaker 1: see a miss. I do not, Man, But she was

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Speaker 1: saying some of the worst shit possible.

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Speaker 2: I would have hung us on. I would have hung up.

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Speaker 2: There's no way. I would have stayed on the live

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Speaker 2: with her eating yep like that. I mean she was rhyming.

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Speaker 2: She was just like just finding ways the rhyme words

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Speaker 2: together and saying like the zoo need to come pick

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Speaker 2: you up, but I would come rescue you because I

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Speaker 2: don't like harm and animals like, oh my.

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Speaker 1: God, and did you so? They were recently on What's

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Speaker 1: what's the name of the podcast that they have.

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Speaker 2: The Aunties Aunties, the Aunty something. Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: So Netta and Charles was on there recently and Charles

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Speaker 1: had on a faja under his clones, just sitting up

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Speaker 1: there stiff, can't talk because he was fucking talked nog

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Speaker 1: this is the world we live in and this shit

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Speaker 1: is fucking wild to me. It's wild. Are you not entertained?

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Speaker 2: Right? They're keeping us entertained, like you said, something's going on.

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Speaker 1: But she was getting on his ass even this morning

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Speaker 1: child eight forty five am. She was cooking his ass up. Anyway.

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Speaker 1: It's not nice.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it's not nice. I felt sad for him because

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Speaker 2: he could not argue back with that woman at all.

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Speaker 2: And I don't what was the argument. How did it start?

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Speaker 2: Do we even know, I.

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Speaker 1: Think social media people started it. I think the fans.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. They call everybody fans. But if you

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Speaker 1: started some shit, you clearly a hater, not really a fan.

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Speaker 1: So something the people the social media started it. Basically

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Speaker 1: the collective started it.

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Speaker 2: Well. Speaking of fans, and behind the scenes, Tory Lanez

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Speaker 2: was behind the cell making music, and he released two

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Speaker 2: new songs, one called Sell two forty five and one

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Speaker 2: wish I Never Met You. And I can assume that

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Speaker 2: might be about our good sis Meghan, because I'm sure

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Speaker 2: he wished he never met her ass. If anybody, that's

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Speaker 2: probably the biggest person he wished he never met.

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure she wished she never met his ass either.

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Speaker 1: There's that part, you know.

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Speaker 2: What I'm saying. They both can sing along to that. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but did you listen to it?

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Speaker 1: I hadn't. I didn't even I can't lie. He is talented,

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Speaker 1: but to me, Tory Lanez is a chameleon. Sometimes when

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Speaker 1: I like I would listened to his previous albums, like

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Speaker 1: you can't tell who that is? Like he can sound

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Speaker 1: like anybody that's a talent. Shit man, who are you though?

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Speaker 1: Who are you?

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Speaker 2: That's everybody?

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Speaker 1: Everybody bitch, Many Face God. Tory Lanez is many faced God,

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Speaker 1: because sometimes I don't know who the hell it is

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Speaker 1: on the album like that nigga be sounded like Future

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Speaker 1: one out with one song, then Tory Lanez another, then

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Speaker 1: the Dream on another song like I don't know, but no,

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Speaker 1: I hadn't listened yet. I don't know if I'm going

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Speaker 1: to either. Oh, I don't support him like that. Uh

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Speaker 1: he said he gonna be home soon. But I was

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Speaker 1: just about to say that, Like these niggas be in

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Speaker 1: jail hallucinating. They be saying, nick, I'm a home next

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Speaker 1: year every year.

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Speaker 2: But they they gotta keep hope because if they don't

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Speaker 2: keep hope, they'll just, you know, fall apart in there.

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Speaker 2: I would be like that too, I'll get home. I'm

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Speaker 2: coming home soon now.

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Speaker 1: Every time one of my little cousins just text my

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Speaker 1: phone and ask me how he got my number, I

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Speaker 1: don't fucking know, And he was like, you'll tell a

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Speaker 1: good jerom I be home next me. Oh yeah, I

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Speaker 1: didn't even know you was in jail, dog, Like, what's up,

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Speaker 1: hope all as well?

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Speaker 2: You didn't know he was in jail.

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Speaker 1: No, but he text you don't be keeping up with

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Speaker 1: niggas in jail. Lets you my nigga in jail.

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Speaker 2: That seems to be the consensus.

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Speaker 1: And why you talk to me because that's kind of

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Speaker 1: like I know this, this is my cousin now, like

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Speaker 1: my I don't know what.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna ask for some money next.

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Speaker 1: See, and that niggas will definitely become a bill from prison, yep.

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Speaker 2: But if you love him sending something, Oh.

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Speaker 1: You nigga, whatever you did to go to jail, you

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Speaker 1: ain't do nothing for me while you was out here. No,

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Speaker 1: I don't got it. It's hard outside. At least you

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Speaker 1: can you got housing and a meal in there out here,

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Speaker 1: and we're paying for exactly exactly you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: And this shit is hard. You at least gonna have

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Speaker 1: shelter and something to eat. It's wild out here, Okay,

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Speaker 1: we're really trying to make it. I ain't got it.

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Speaker 2: Well to lane mm hmm, y'all. We are gonna get

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Speaker 2: into some biblical things today.

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Speaker 1: Not biblical that sounds scary.

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Speaker 2: It's not always biblical, could be righteous. We're gonna talk

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Speaker 2: about Lot's wife, and if you know who Lot's wife was,

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Speaker 2: she looked back when she was told not to, and

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Speaker 2: then she turned into a pillar of salt. So we're

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Speaker 2: just gonna talk about those of us who keep looking

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Speaker 2: back and what that looks like and what we should

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Speaker 2: do to combat it. We'll be right.

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Speaker 1: Back, all right, y'all, we're back, and you know, so

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Speaker 1: we want to talk about moving forward. I guess in relationships, right.

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Speaker 1: So Tam mentioned Lot's wife. God told them to leave

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Speaker 1: the city and don't look back. And Lot's wife looked

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Speaker 1: back with like sadly right in a yearning for what was,

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Speaker 1: and she was turned into a statue of salt.

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Speaker 2: Turn into a big bottle of Larry's.

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Speaker 1: For looking back. So if you're trying to do something different,

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Speaker 1: you need to keep your eye enterprise and look forward,

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Speaker 1: don't look back. I am guilty of always looking back,

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Speaker 1: reaching back, fucking back, all types.

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Speaker 2: Of exactly because it's so much easier to deal with

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Speaker 2: the devil that you know versus a new one. You know.

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Speaker 2: That's I always feel like, what's the saying deal with

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Speaker 2: the devil that you I'm gonna google it and I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna run it back in a minute, y'all when we

377
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:25,119
Speaker 2: go to break Because it's easier because you just know

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00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,600
Speaker 2: what to expect with these people. You know what to

379
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 2: expect sexually, you know they're bullshit. You know their behavior,

380
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,679
Speaker 2: you know when they lying to you. Now you're trying to,

381
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:35,800
Speaker 2: you know, start with someone new and you don't know

382
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 2: none of that ship and it be shit. You know,

383
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:39,160
Speaker 2: it be new shit.

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Speaker 1: But the minute you see some of that old shit,

385
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,760
Speaker 1: you know pop up in this new relationship, now you

386
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 1: you have it's a trauma response, right TSD because now

387
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 1: it's looking like something you've seen before. I'm guilty of

388
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 1: that doing that to people in new relationships and then

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Speaker 1: also refurbished relationships, like I'm remembering what you did your

390
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 1: particular nigga, Like this is a new relationship now, but

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00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 1: I remember what you did before, and it'd be hard

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Speaker 1: for me to get over. And even though I can

393
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,399
Speaker 1: move forward, right, but it's still it's still always so

394
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 1: hard for me to completely forgive and forget. Though I'm

395
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,880
Speaker 1: not that too giving at all, because I'm always I'm

396
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 1: always like thinking, like why you did that, and what

397
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 1: about me made you thought that was okay to.

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00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:34,280
Speaker 2: Do to me? You know what I'm saying, m H.

399
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,159
Speaker 2: But then you here you are back, so it's like,

400
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 2: what about you made you feel.

401
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:47,320
Speaker 1: Like you see, it's all in the introspection, Okay, you

402
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 1: always gotta go inside and see what the fuck is

403
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:53,280
Speaker 1: wrong with you? What's wrong with me?

404
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,959
Speaker 2: Is something wrong with me, It's something wrong with all

405
00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:03,080
Speaker 2: of us. It's there's nobody all the way right. Have

406
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:04,760
Speaker 2: you met an all the way right person?

407
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 1: I haven't, No, I haven't no.

408
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 2: They don't exist. They don't exist. And if they telling

409
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,320
Speaker 2: you they all the way right, that you found what's

410
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:13,160
Speaker 2: wrong with them, they.

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Speaker 1: Live exactly right, very deceitful, right. And I think it

412
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 1: is a familiar familiarality thing right that comes in when

413
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Speaker 1: you're dealing with somebody who you've been with before, Like

414
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 1: you said, like you go on to the next relationship

415
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,639
Speaker 1: and you just expect it to be like so wonderful,

416
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 1: and then the same shit shows up. So it's like, damn,

417
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:35,480
Speaker 1: I should have just stayed where the fuck I was

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Speaker 1: at mm.

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Speaker 2: Hm, you know, at least I like that dick over

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00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,399
Speaker 2: there better, you know, and be shit like that for really.

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00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 2: So I found this article from Healthy Humans Project dot

422
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Speaker 2: com on how to not let past relationships affect new ones.

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Speaker 1: Niggas be tired of me bringing up X my exts

424
00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:59,399
Speaker 1: my ex dat and I know I do that often,

425
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,880
Speaker 1: and I don't think men realize they do the same thing.

426
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,639
Speaker 1: But I think when we do something, it's just amplified

427
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 1: in the air for some reason, I don't know, but

428
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 1: they all think the same thing.

429
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 2: I think our listeners have heard a lot about yours.

430
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 1: As well, because it's a way for me to deal

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00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:19,160
Speaker 1: with the trauma. It's a way for me to talk

432
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 1: it out right. So I don't really need, and I've

433
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 1: said this before, do I need like a therapist therapist.

434
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,400
Speaker 1: I just need to be able to say the thing

435
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 1: right out loud. I don't have a problem saying the

436
00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 1: things and telling who the fuck ever gonna listen. I

437
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 1: got a problem with keeping shit to my goddamn self.

438
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 2: It's hard, all right. So I'm gonna read a little

439
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 2: bit of this. Has your partner ever done something that

440
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:49,919
Speaker 2: reminded you of a bad experience from a past relationship.

441
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,639
Speaker 2: I can probably guess the rest of the story. You

442
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 2: felt your nervous system kick in, you put your walls

443
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 2: back up, your partner got confused, you didn't know how

444
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 2: to talk about it. You both went to bed upset.

445
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 2: I know this story too. We all have emotional baggage,

446
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:08,160
Speaker 2: whether it's from our parents or a romantic relationship. Negative

447
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 2: experiences and past relationships can really mess us up, and

448
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 2: they can. That shit is true. All Right, let's list

449
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 2: the ways, shall we? All Right, here's a list. Trusting

450
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:22,520
Speaker 2: is scared. Absolutely, Trusting is so scared. I think that

451
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 2: is one of my biggest hiccups because I feel like

452
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:33,240
Speaker 2: I'd be so scared that I'm gonna kill somebody. Because

453
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 2: if I let my wall down to trust you and

454
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 2: you betray me in a real way at this stage

455
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 2: in my life, I might snap. I always fear that.

456
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:46,080
Speaker 1: Well, I've already done that, right, So I've snapped before,

457
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,679
Speaker 1: and that's when I know it's time for me to go.

458
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 1: Because when you got me acting way outside of my norm,

459
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:56,200
Speaker 1: way outside of my character, I gotta get the fuck

460
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: up out of there, because you trying to drive me

461
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,440
Speaker 1: nuts or I'm driving me nuts. Can con tenue and

462
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:03,400
Speaker 1: continuously dealing with the bullshit.

463
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

464
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 1: So I don't think I have a hard time trusting people,

465
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:09,919
Speaker 1: because as long as I know who you are, I

466
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,680
Speaker 1: can deal with you. It's like the random ass little

467
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:16,680
Speaker 1: ship people do it. It's like damn that's you. That's

468
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:17,919
Speaker 1: the ship that scares me.

469
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 2: Yeah. But see that's what makes me not trust because

470
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 2: I know it's something.

471
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:25,520
Speaker 1: You're just waiting for it, and I don't really be

472
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,200
Speaker 1: waiting for it because I whoever you tell me you are,

473
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 1: I believe you until you show me otherwise, then that's

474
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 1: what I believe.

475
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:36,400
Speaker 2: All Right, here's the next one. Vulnerable. Vulnerability is scary.

476
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:42,640
Speaker 2: That's another one. Being vulnerable and being what's the other word.

477
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 1: That's it?

478
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 2: Those are my two words I hate the most. Apologizing

479
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 2: it's hard. I don't have a problem to apologizing, and

480
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:55,399
Speaker 2: I can do that forgiveness.

481
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 1: Vulnerability is scary to you, Like you don't you don't

482
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 1: want to open up people?

483
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 2: Oh like peeling back my layers and sharing the like

484
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 2: the most softest part of me. I'm a cancer baby.

485
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,199
Speaker 2: I got a shell on for a reason to protect

486
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 2: all of that Gucci shit inside. Oh.

487
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 1: I thought, y'all, I'll be letting it out.

488
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,920
Speaker 2: I thought, I, yeah, I will let it out. But

489
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 2: it's not easy. It's not easy.

490
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:20,159
Speaker 1: I let it out. And then if you don't like,

491
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 1: you're not you know. I think women oftentimes suppress a

492
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 1: lot of things because they don't want to scare the

493
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 1: guy at this big age, if you are still dating, right,

494
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 1: you need to tell people all the things up front

495
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 1: and lit them aside, whether or not they fucking with

496
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:36,640
Speaker 1: it or not. That is the easiest way to date nowadays,

497
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,720
Speaker 1: and it's the quickest way to wean through people who

498
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:42,159
Speaker 1: aren't for you, because if your vulnerability is scared of somebody, like,

499
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,760
Speaker 1: somebody else might see that and want to help.

500
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:47,919
Speaker 2: I just told a man so that you know some

501
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 2: of the things that I require, and he got like,

502
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:55,200
Speaker 2: really judgie about the things that I like, And I'm like, well,

503
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,879
Speaker 2: you don't have to you know, I'm not asking. I

504
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 2: already told you that I was only interested in us

505
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 2: being friends anyway, So why are you picking through what

506
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,760
Speaker 2: I need desire for a relationship when I'm not even

507
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:14,199
Speaker 2: interested in you in that way? Get Apologizing is hard.

508
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 2: Forgiveness is hard. That's hard for me.

509
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,160
Speaker 1: That is very hard for me in every aspect.

510
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:21,160
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

511
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 1: It's hard because you know, I try not to do

512
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 1: fucked up shit to people, so when it's done to

513
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 1: me is again I'm like, why you do that? What

514
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 1: the fuck was that about? So it is hard for

515
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 1: me to forgive people because I feel like that thing

516
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 1: is still in you, so I can't. I just had

517
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 1: this conversation with a friend who I hadn't spoken to

518
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 1: a month, and we happened to talk over this week

519
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 1: over the weekend. Now, oh, I neglected to tell you, guys,

520
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 1: I was shroomed up this weekend. Okay, Friday, Nay, I'm

521
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 1: in here.

522
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 2: You had a vulnerable conversation with someone while you were

523
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 2: shoomed up.

524
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 1: The next level two two conversations. I had a homeboy

525
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 1: called me about about him looking back right and going

526
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 1: back to an ex possibly right, And my main thing

527
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 1: to him was, listen, remember why you left, right, I'm

528
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 1: living in it. So when you get the thing, are

529
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 1: you sure that's what you want? Right? Because it looks

530
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 1: good until you actually get it. Sometimes anyway, are you reminded?

531
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 2: You then are reminded why you left in the first place.

532
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 1: Right. So this person I was talking to, which I

533
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:33,240
Speaker 1: still consider a friend, right, we just we're not connecting

534
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 1: right now. And I told her that I take mental

535
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 1: notes about situations and about people. It's not that I'm

536
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 1: going to live this way with you every day, but

537
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 1: I know now what you're capable of after you show me,

538
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 1: so I can't. I would be a fool to just

539
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:57,239
Speaker 1: move forward completely slate clean. I'm not saying I'm going

540
00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 1: to be acting weird with you going forward, but I

541
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 1: do have a mental note written in my mind of

542
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 1: your capabilities. That's is that wrong? You'd be a fool

543
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 1: if you don't take key No. When somebody shows you

544
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 1: a particular character flaw.

545
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 2: It's like, I forgive you, but I won't forget.

546
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:18,720
Speaker 1: Yes, I don't forget, so I get. I probably forgive,

547
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 1: but I because I think I might be forgiving, I

548
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 1: just don't forget, right. So the minute I see that

549
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 1: thing again, I'm gonna call it out.

550
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 2: I'm like, I haven't spoken to one of my close

551
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 2: friends in months, and she reached out on my birthday,

552
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:35,840
Speaker 2: and it was just kind of like yeah.

553
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 1: Because once you stop being friends, it's like I don't

554
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 1: really know you no more.

555
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 2: I feel a way that you didn't reach out all

556
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,680
Speaker 2: these months over some bullshit one which I really don't

557
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 2: even know what the fuck the issue was in the

558
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:53,280
Speaker 2: first place. But on my birthday is not a fine

559
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 2: time to hash out our issues. I don't oh today.

560
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 2: I want to just be in a space of peace

561
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 2: and happiness, and today I ain't doing it, and I

562
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 2: don't know when I want to call back either, because

563
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:07,160
Speaker 2: now I'm busy. You've been You've been too busy to

564
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 2: call back for months and months and months.

565
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 1: Oh so you did reach out to her before, Yeah, yeah,

566
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 1: and she did, But then she hit up on your birthday.

567
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 2: Then I saw her out and she went around the

568
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 2: table and hugged everybody but me. We was always in

569
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 2: the group, and she went around and hugged everybody at

570
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 2: the table but me. My girl, what's your problem? Okay? Whatever?

571
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 2: And then now you're calling me on my birthday acting

572
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 2: like she gonna be normal. Yeah, that's how I feel like.

573
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:41,960
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know what you're f and

574
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 2: I and I'm living in here with two baby infants.

575
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 2: I can't call you right now.

576
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 1: I can't like you barely can record this episode right now.

577
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 1: Bitch is whispering, y'all.

578
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 2: See.

579
00:31:53,680 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 1: Then I'm trying to keep it all right.

580
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 2: So this one feeling deserving of love is hard.

581
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 1: I always think I deserve love. I always think of

582
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 1: the best of the fucking best. Now more than ever,

583
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 1: you know, once you, once you really know you, you

584
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 1: have your self awareness, and you know what you're worth.

585
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

586
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 1: It's hard to settle for some bullshit. Okay, So I'm

587
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 1: definitely deserving of love, and if you got to grovel

588
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 1: at my fucking feet, that's what you're gonna have to

589
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:34,960
Speaker 1: do to get me back.

590
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 2: But there are those of us I don't feel deserving

591
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,880
Speaker 2: of love. But I'm here to remind you that you

592
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 2: are a baby girl or baby boy.

593
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:46,000
Speaker 1: We say that, but we don't know what people have

594
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 1: done to people. You know what I'm saying. Do you

595
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 1: think that real bad people still deserve to be loved

596
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,760
Speaker 1: or should they be on a fucking island by themselves,

597
00:32:55,800 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 1: like you've been terrorizing people since two years old. I

598
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 1: don't know. I just know some I know of because

599
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 1: I'm not associating myself with those types of people, but

600
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 1: I know I've really deplorable people.

601
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, and.

602
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 1: That thing out of them in the world.

603
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 2: Yeah. But I think if you learn how to change

604
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,600
Speaker 2: and be a better person, do you not then in

605
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 2: turn not deserve.

606
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,760
Speaker 1: Absolutely, But you have to show improve yourself and you

607
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 1: have to apologize for the people to the people you've wronged. Yeah,

608
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 1: I agree, you know what I'm saying, So that do

609
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 1: we do, we go to apology. Yeah, apologizing is hard,

610
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 1: so a lot of times people just avoid its avoidance,

611
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. As opposed to taking accountability

612
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 1: and and and apologizing, they will continuously justify why their

613
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 1: behavior is okay.

614
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, I've seen it all too many times.

615
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:57,120
Speaker 1: And no, you're not. You are not deserving of my love.

616
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 2: But so on the else perhaps, Yeah, right, I'm feeling lovable.

617
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 2: Feeling lovable is hard. What's the difference between deserving of

618
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,479
Speaker 2: love and lovable? Is that someone who's giving love?

619
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:13,280
Speaker 1: I like to say I make it easy for people

620
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:19,040
Speaker 1: to love me. I think I'm lovable. Yeah, people who

621
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 1: actually know me? Okay, who really know me in real life? Yeah,

622
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 1: I think some people aren't easy to love. They just

623
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:31,400
Speaker 1: they really put you through some shit, you know what

624
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,719
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Take it to that place. Yeah.

625
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 2: No, I think I'm like sometimes overly lovable with motherfuckers

626
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:39,879
Speaker 2: and they get you fucked up.

627
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, got shit fucked up? Because you thought I was nice.

628
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:44,319
Speaker 1: I always say I'm good.

629
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:49,239
Speaker 2: I'm not nice, kind, not nice, like I've adopted that

630
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,880
Speaker 2: in my late thirties because I always was nice and

631
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:55,880
Speaker 2: trying to be a people pleaser, and I want everybody

632
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 2: to be happy around me. Some people are committed, Yeah,

633
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 2: some people are committed to not being happy, and you

634
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:04,239
Speaker 2: can't do nothing about that except absorb some of their

635
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:08,279
Speaker 2: negative energy. So I just try not to. All Right,

636
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:10,480
Speaker 2: you project onto your partner a lot.

637
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 1: Mmmmmm, I don't think I don't do that.

638
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't think I do that because I

639
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:21,080
Speaker 2: just i'd be telling jokes the whole time. Like, even

640
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:23,319
Speaker 2: when shit is like fucked up, I will find a

641
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 2: way for us to laugh. Do you want to laugh

642
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,319
Speaker 2: through this, cause we can if you're interested in it,

643
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:31,319
Speaker 2: I'm with it. So if I project, I'm projecting that

644
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:36,080
Speaker 2: you compare yourself.

645
00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 1: Or your partner what to other people.

646
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:47,600
Speaker 2: To pass relationships to his ex, to your ex.

647
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,080
Speaker 1: I don't never compare excees. The thing is, you know,

648
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 1: men will say that women come with all us baggage

649
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:59,279
Speaker 1: and from you know, I'm having so many problems with

650
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:01,359
Speaker 1: you because of what the last man did to you,

651
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:07,680
Speaker 1: But oftentimes the things are done in this particular situation.

652
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:11,040
Speaker 1: I'm not on your neck because of what the last

653
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:16,080
Speaker 1: man did. It's because of you in particular. Like I

654
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:19,279
Speaker 1: don't bring shit from the other relationship. When I talk

655
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 1: about negative things or positive things, I'm not bringing them

656
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:26,120
Speaker 1: into this relationship. I'm not treating you away because of

657
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:28,840
Speaker 1: what somebody else did to me. I always move on

658
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 1: like I love, I love, love like I like, I like,

659
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 1: so I'm always ready to fall in love again. I

660
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:38,200
Speaker 1: ain't never scared, bitch, what'll we be doing? Let's go.

661
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. So I'm never coming in

662
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,239
Speaker 1: the new thing with some old shit.

663
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 2: As much as I would like to say what you

664
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 2: just said, I know that subconsciously, some of the traumas

665
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:55,840
Speaker 2: of past relationships do trickle into the new ones in somewhere.

666
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:57,680
Speaker 2: I can't put my finger on it, but I know

667
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 2: it's there. Like I be triggered, are like abandonment, like.

668
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:06,839
Speaker 1: You calling a nigga phone a lot when they're gonna

669
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 1: answer the phone and stuff like that.

670
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:11,920
Speaker 2: No I might ego won't allow that, okay, but my

671
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 2: mind like, okay, no, my ego on, I won't call.

672
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 2: I'll call and then I'll text, and if I don't

673
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:22,399
Speaker 2: get no response, we'll never hear from me again in life.

674
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 2: And that be ego because I want to know, like,

675
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 2: because then if something happened now I'm worried. I might

676
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 2: even be worried about you. But instead of just trying

677
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 2: to check and make sure you okay, my ego, it's

678
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:35,839
Speaker 2: like the nigga. I know you see my motherfucking text right,

679
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:36,879
Speaker 2: you know that's my energy.

680
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,760
Speaker 1: I'm only calling one time and I'm texting one time. Nigga,

681
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 1: you see me, and that goes for you too. If

682
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:44,879
Speaker 1: you call my phone more than one time, you're trying

683
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,960
Speaker 1: to control me. If I'm Dad, I can't answer. If

684
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,440
Speaker 1: you dad, we can't do nothing about it. You know what,

685
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 1: motherfucker I could have been dad. I could have been

686
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 1: on the side, okay, and then what was I going

687
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 1: to be able to do with that?

688
00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 2: That was God? Be like? You should call nine one one?

689
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:03,120
Speaker 1: Then, yes, why are you calling me? You're trying to

690
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 1: control me. That's why you've called my phone thirty times.

691
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 2: But I do that with women. I won't do that

692
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 2: with men. I'll do that with women you call multiple times,

693
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:22,720
Speaker 2: I'll blow your motherfucking ass up, But for some reason,

694
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:24,800
Speaker 2: with a man, you won't call these twice.

695
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 1: Now and more and more, I'm calling board Unless I

696
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:33,839
Speaker 1: really really want you to answer the phone. I'm gonna

697
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:35,480
Speaker 1: tax you like God, you answer.

698
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 2: Especially if it seems like you hit the button on me,

699
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 2: I'm calling back again.

700
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 1: Now thatsk ego too. Now that's like you're trying to

701
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 1: be controlling of your whole girls.

702
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 2: You know how, you know how the iPhone now has

703
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:54,040
Speaker 2: this where your picture can pop up when you call people,

704
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 2: so like their face will pop up on your phone.

705
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 2: I will not put my face up there. It's like,

706
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 2: why you got a picture up because if you hit

707
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:07,320
Speaker 2: the client to my face, bitch, that's a problem because

708
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 2: I know my face popped up on your ship and

709
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:11,719
Speaker 2: you still hit the button. Hell no, I didn't even

710
00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 2: put my dog.

711
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 1: My dog is my like Mogi for iPhone.

712
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 2: So when you call it bella pop up, Yeah, I

713
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 2: ain't putting nothing up there because I just don't want

714
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,320
Speaker 2: to kind of anger that would calls for me knowing

715
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 2: that my face popped up and you still hit the

716
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:33,920
Speaker 2: button on me, pressure pressed my face to say no,

717
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 2: oh hell no. All right, you build walls. I definitely

718
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 2: have uh built some walls up, all right.

719
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 1: Trump, Maga not maga in the relationships. You got the

720
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:55,239
Speaker 1: Mexicans to do it.

721
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 2: These niggas did it. These niggas built my walls from

722
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 2: you teach yourself to expect the worst.

723
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 1: Now, I dude, I am. I might be a little

724
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:10,839
Speaker 1: pessimistic in relationships. I'm gonna tell you, and it's not

725
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,319
Speaker 1: I'm still knock on. You're not gonna know that I'm

726
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 1: expecting the worst, though, But I feel like throughout my

727
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 1: life it seems like the times where I was relaxed

728
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 1: and comfortable and happy and just like in Bliss, that's

729
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:32,719
Speaker 1: when the worst shit happens. You're married, you got a

730
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:35,319
Speaker 1: baby on the way. I asked you if you had kids,

731
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 1: and Nigga be like, well, the baby wasn't born yet,

732
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:42,200
Speaker 1: so technically it be that type of shit, right, Okay,

733
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 1: that I've had to deal with, So yeah, I might. Yeah,

734
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,040
Speaker 1: I be expecting the worst out of people. I do.

735
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 2: I do, so it just makes the blows not hit

736
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:57,719
Speaker 2: as hard, right, But are you manifesting the bullshit by

737
00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:58,560
Speaker 2: doing that? Though?

738
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,080
Speaker 1: I don't like, I don't, I don't like really like.

739
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:07,239
Speaker 1: It's not like living rent free in my mind somewhere, right.

740
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:11,279
Speaker 1: I just I just know what humans are capable of,

741
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:15,279
Speaker 1: So I expect you to be human, right, since I'm

742
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:18,880
Speaker 1: a god like, I expect people to fuck up you know,

743
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:23,880
Speaker 1: I expect you to fuck up, and I'm gonna just

744
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:28,680
Speaker 1: be like, listen, man, now, I notice you now, but

745
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 1: this is now the new me. Right to counter this

746
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 1: new version of you, right, and you can't get mad

747
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 1: at that. Some people they want you to remain the

748
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: same while they done switched up on you. It's impossible you.

749
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:47,320
Speaker 2: Create unhealthy or unrealistic expectations for your partner.

750
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:52,759
Speaker 1: I don't. I feel like, even with one falling out.

751
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:56,640
Speaker 1: And this is because you know, romantic relationships and then

752
00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 1: like your friendships with your your friends or whatever, guys

753
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:03,000
Speaker 1: or whatever, they kind of are the same. Right, So

754
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 1: there's only one couple extra expectations I have from a

755
00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:09,960
Speaker 1: lover as opposed to my friend. Like I expect everybody

756
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 1: to love and respect me, and then I expect these

757
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:16,279
Speaker 1: niggas to spend some money and protect me. Okay, that's

758
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 1: the extra two things. But that's all I require from

759
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 1: my friends is love and respect. I feel like some

760
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 1: women have way too many expectations from their friends.

761
00:42:32,719 --> 00:42:35,480
Speaker 2: Way too many. Are you talking about me?

762
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 1: No? Uh uh? I have. I have had fallen outs

763
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 1: with people and some of the things that they come

764
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:47,880
Speaker 1: up with that I supposedly didn't show up or do

765
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:53,799
Speaker 1: for them as like way over my head type shit. Meanwhile,

766
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:56,600
Speaker 1: I've done those things for them and they've never done

767
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,520
Speaker 1: them for me. I had an argument with a friend

768
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:02,040
Speaker 1: and we no longer friends, but it was just min

769
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 1: and I cried so bad with this comment, with this argument,

770
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 1: because I couldn't believe this was happening. I was being like,

771
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 1: for real, gas lit, real hard. You never invited me

772
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,799
Speaker 1: to anything. I literally invited you to other things with

773
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 1: my other friends because I'm the type of person. I

774
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: know my homegirls who can't be around everybody else, and

775
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 1: then I know the ones that can write and I

776
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,200
Speaker 1: one thing I love the most is like all the

777
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 1: people I like and love to be like together in

778
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:34,640
Speaker 1: the same space. Right. So I had invited her. I

779
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:37,319
Speaker 1: had lived out of town. I'm traveling to your house.

780
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 1: You had never been to mine. And these are the

781
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:42,680
Speaker 1: things when we when our friendship came to an end,

782
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,760
Speaker 1: she were she was saying these things to me. Meanwhile,

783
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 1: she had never shown up for me.

784
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 2: For real, right, And it's like you only seeing what

785
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:55,920
Speaker 2: I didn't what I haven't done in your eyes, but

786
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 2: never seeing what you haven't done at all.

787
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 1: Because her expectations for me were way up here and

788
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,600
Speaker 1: mine were very low for her. For her because you're

789
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 1: a woman. I don't like pussy, so I don't expect

790
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 1: much from my homegirls. I don't Some women act they

791
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 1: friends for money. I don't do that type of shit.

792
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 1: You better ask that nigga you fucking on for some money.

793
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 1: I don't ask money friends for money.

794
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:23,840
Speaker 2: But I won't. I don't mind giving my friends money though.

795
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:25,880
Speaker 1: No, absolutely not. You know, I like to be in

796
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 1: a position to help people when I can. But you

797
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 1: also not about to abuse me because I feel like

798
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 1: people only call people they know gonna say yes.

799
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 2: So I'm a last resort. I'm the last resort friend.

800
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:40,600
Speaker 2: All my friends know that. They know that I'll give

801
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 2: it to them. But we're gonna sit and discuss all

802
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:48,560
Speaker 2: the other options that you have exhausted. First, you was

803
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 2: having something? Did you did you give blood plasma? Then

804
00:44:53,160 --> 00:45:04,680
Speaker 2: what did you do? Okay, they're paying for that. So

805
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:08,239
Speaker 2: here are five tips to not let past relationships affect me.

806
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 1: No, you've missed the last one. Let's just hit it.

807
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 1: You don't trust your judgment.

808
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:17,480
Speaker 2: Oh I didn't even see that. Maybe because I don't

809
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 2: trust my own judgment.

810
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 1: That's women's intuition, and we often ignore it when we

811
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:24,280
Speaker 1: in love, Okay, especially when he hit in the back,

812
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:30,600
Speaker 1: the back walls, the back door, that side pocket, that

813
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:32,879
Speaker 1: makes it a little crazy button back that you keep

814
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 1: hitting that suit, you might get stabbed.

815
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:38,680
Speaker 2: And you just have all the red flags and just

816
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 2: ignore it.

817
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:41,719
Speaker 1: Six flags.

818
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:45,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't.

819
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 1: I don't trust my I wouldn't say I don't trust

820
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:49,520
Speaker 1: my own judgment. I just trust people to be who

821
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:49,879
Speaker 1: they are.

822
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 2: I don't. Yeah, I wouldn't say I don't trust my

823
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 2: own judgment. I ignore my own judgment.

824
00:45:55,719 --> 00:46:00,279
Speaker 1: I think everybody does until that motherfucker actually might knock

825
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:01,760
Speaker 1: you out literally.

826
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:08,160
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, you're right. That's why bitch moving across the country.

827
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:11,560
Speaker 2: I'm just going to the other side like it's starting over. Sure,

828
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 2: got a reset reset Okay. So here are the five

829
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:20,480
Speaker 2: tips to not let past relationships affect the new ones.

830
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 2: And that's a relationship with yourself too, not just with

831
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:27,319
Speaker 2: new niggas a new relationship with you, baby girl.

832
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 1: All right.

833
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:31,960
Speaker 2: Number one, acknowledge your contribution to failed relationships.

834
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 1: Accountability. There it is again. So in this conversation with

835
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:43,839
Speaker 1: this friend who I'm on the outs with, right now.

836
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 1: And we talked for the first time in months this

837
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:49,399
Speaker 1: past weekend, and then we might not talk another again

838
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,279
Speaker 1: for some months. I don't know. I might, I'm I

839
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:54,840
Speaker 1: might call her for a birthday in October, but I

840
00:46:54,840 --> 00:47:00,680
Speaker 1: don't know. She said, so, you think you never been

841
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:04,440
Speaker 1: wrong in any of your relationships? And I stopped for

842
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:08,200
Speaker 1: a second. She mean friendships in friendships, right, So I

843
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 1: had to stop for a second, and I really had

844
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 1: to think real, real hard, because everybody likes to think

845
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:16,760
Speaker 1: that they're right, even with me and her not talking,

846
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,319
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm right, and so does she right.

847
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:21,759
Speaker 1: And this is why for the last year and a

848
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 1: half I've been like, I'm not arguing people's perspective, right,

849
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:28,480
Speaker 1: because you can lay this list of things down and

850
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:34,560
Speaker 1: everybody will interpret it different. Everybody will see what transpired differently, right,

851
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 1: And that's where arguing comes in at, because you're not

852
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 1: just wanting somebody to understand your perspective, you want them

853
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:46,239
Speaker 1: to adopt it. Right. So in this particular thing, I

854
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:49,200
Speaker 1: didn't I wasn't asking her to adopt my perspective. I

855
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 1: just didn't want to talk about it. If we're gonna

856
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:55,319
Speaker 1: be friends, let's just move forward right, because I think

857
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 1: I'm right and you think you're right. So the conversation

858
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:03,760
Speaker 1: still ended well, me yelling you know me, Tammy, Okay,

859
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:07,280
Speaker 1: all right, I want to sleep because this I haven't

860
00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:10,920
Speaker 1: been like this worked up? Why am I this worked up?

861
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 1: Eleven o'clock at night? You know what I'm saying? Why

862
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 1: why is this happening? So in some situations when I

863
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:22,359
Speaker 1: do get worked up, I have to stop, like what

864
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:24,400
Speaker 1: was I in the middle of doing? How was I

865
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:29,759
Speaker 1: feeling when this thing showed up? When this because it's

866
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:34,640
Speaker 1: a thing, it's a it's a something, and I allowed

867
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:38,400
Speaker 1: it to get me this worked up? Yeah, but I

868
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 1: really had to sit and think, like have I and

869
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 1: I feel like the relationships that I have brought to

870
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 1: a screeching holt? Some people s don't want me, The

871
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:49,279
Speaker 1: niggas don't want me, and the friends stn't want me.

872
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:54,000
Speaker 1: So if I was really that fucking bad, why you

873
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:55,720
Speaker 1: still want to be in my life?

874
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,520
Speaker 2: I can? I can. You know. My grandmother said this

875
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:01,879
Speaker 2: thing to me, and it's always stuck with me. It

876
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:04,520
Speaker 2: takes two links of the chain for the chain to rattle.

877
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 2: One link kept rattle by itself, so I always try

878
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 2: to acknowledge that I know there's you know, I ain't

879
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:13,600
Speaker 2: been perfect. I ain't perfect in friendships. I ain't perfect

880
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:17,839
Speaker 2: in relationships. There's been mistakes, there's been missteps, but I

881
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:20,920
Speaker 2: know that I don't do anything with malicious intent with

882
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 2: people I love. Now, if I don't love you, and

883
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 2: I can't call it. But if I care about you,

884
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 2: I might fuck up. But it was never meant to hurt.

885
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:34,719
Speaker 2: It was never meant to be maliciously done nothing, you know.

886
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:39,759
Speaker 1: But see, that's where perspective comes in, right, because when

887
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 1: when doing the thing, the person may not perceive that

888
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:45,959
Speaker 1: they was doing a fucked up thing, right, right?

889
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 2: Hm?

890
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:50,640
Speaker 1: But at what point when I say, hey, that was

891
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 1: a fucked up thing, when do you That's.

892
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:57,880
Speaker 2: When account Yeah, that's when accountability comes in. Like, I

893
00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:02,520
Speaker 2: don't like when people say I apologize for how you feel, Yes,

894
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 2: don't apologize for how.

895
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:07,719
Speaker 1: Fen So I can't do that. I don't apologize for

896
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:10,880
Speaker 1: how I made you feel because that's not a genuine apology.

897
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 1: I'm not sorry. Right, It's hard for me to say

898
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:18,720
Speaker 1: I apologize for how for what I did, for how

899
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:23,440
Speaker 1: you felt because of what I did, right, Because I'm

900
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:27,160
Speaker 1: very intentional So if I do some fucked up shit,

901
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:30,360
Speaker 1: I meant to do it. If I say some fucked

902
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:33,040
Speaker 1: up shit, I meant to say it. Because I have

903
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:35,480
Speaker 1: a lot of restraint, I feel like a lot of

904
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:36,920
Speaker 1: times I won't say nothing.

905
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:41,080
Speaker 2: Well, no, I can't, you know, when I'm upset, I

906
00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 2: can't say those things that can hurt people I love,

907
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:46,520
Speaker 2: and I will apologize for it because in that moment

908
00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 2: I was heated and I said some things that were hurtful.

909
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:52,319
Speaker 2: Even if they were true, doesn't mean they need to

910
00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:54,920
Speaker 2: be said, especially to someone that I care about, you know,

911
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:58,000
Speaker 2: or you know, because then it's not delivered in a

912
00:50:58,040 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 2: way that is for the betterment of our friendship or

913
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 2: our relationship. It's just saying to be hurtful at that point.

914
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:07,120
Speaker 2: So I will apologize for things like that, you know,

915
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:09,680
Speaker 2: because if I love you, the last thing I need

916
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:14,239
Speaker 2: to be doing is hurting you, you know. So I

917
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:18,400
Speaker 2: will apologize and I'll just say that's my bad, I'm sorry,

918
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:22,000
Speaker 2: you know. I won't say I apologize for how you felt,

919
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:26,640
Speaker 2: or I apologize for no. I just apologized, point blank, period.

920
00:51:26,760 --> 00:51:29,680
Speaker 2: I'm sorry because I do love you. So whatever it

921
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:32,160
Speaker 2: is looks like on your side, I'm sorry, and that's

922
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:36,279
Speaker 2: it because all the other things is just pomping circumstance.

923
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:39,239
Speaker 1: At that point when the thing does it again, then

924
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:43,600
Speaker 1: were you really sorry when you apologized before? You see?

925
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:46,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm a work in progress, you know, I got,

926
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:51,239
Speaker 2: I got angry again. We met, we here are you

927
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 2: and again? Yeah? We're human nuts.

928
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:57,920
Speaker 1: Man, No, man, I don't want it just depends.

929
00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:00,480
Speaker 2: I don't want it, just depends. It's just depends on

930
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:04,160
Speaker 2: what it is. It's like, you know, because some things

931
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 2: it's like, all right, now you just do you fuck

932
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 2: with me? Or do you not right? You know? But

933
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:14,280
Speaker 2: then the other things is like, okay, she is Gemini.

934
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:19,320
Speaker 1: And Gemini I see things. Gemini is on mean nothing

935
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:23,840
Speaker 1: more than fuality. So I see things from all perspectives,

936
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:28,319
Speaker 1: every which way. Now, sometimes I might settle in on

937
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:31,279
Speaker 1: this one perspective, right, because I feel like there's some

938
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:32,799
Speaker 1: things in life you got to pick a side on.

939
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:35,560
Speaker 1: But for the most part, I like to stay in

940
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:38,120
Speaker 1: the middlest I can see all of which ways. I

941
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:40,319
Speaker 1: can see how you felt, I can see this and not.

942
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:42,520
Speaker 1: But I should be able to do the same. I

943
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:45,640
Speaker 1: should be able the same way I do for people.

944
00:52:45,719 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 1: I want people to do for me. I know that

945
00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:51,120
Speaker 1: that's not You can't ask for that though, right. So

946
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:54,479
Speaker 1: the same way I see, I see what you meant

947
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:58,440
Speaker 1: a lot. I'm misunderstood a lot. I want people to

948
00:52:58,440 --> 00:52:59,359
Speaker 1: see what I meant too.

949
00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:05,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get it all right. Number two, recognize triggers

950
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:11,760
Speaker 2: becoming an observer objectively. Was your partner's behavior mean spirited?

951
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:13,839
Speaker 2: That's what I was just saying, like, was it done

952
00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:17,320
Speaker 2: to be malicious? Or you know, was it a mistake?

953
00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:19,480
Speaker 2: You know, did they make a mistake?

954
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:22,080
Speaker 1: And your triggers are for you to manage, not for

955
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:26,440
Speaker 1: everybody else, So you can't as an adult at our

956
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:29,239
Speaker 1: big age. And I say you, I mean plural, I'm

957
00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:36,880
Speaker 1: not talking to you, right. People want external entities to

958
00:53:37,120 --> 00:53:40,239
Speaker 1: manage your their triggers. No, your triggers are for you

959
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 1: to manage. So if you know something triggers you, you

960
00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:46,760
Speaker 1: need to figure out a way to not be triggered.

961
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:51,799
Speaker 1: It is not for another adult to tiptoe around your emotions.

962
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:56,319
Speaker 1: That's not fair because again we got perception. Everybody's brain

963
00:53:56,440 --> 00:54:01,000
Speaker 1: is different, People see things differently differently, so I didn't

964
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:01,960
Speaker 1: know that would be a trigger.

965
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:05,560
Speaker 2: M h. But don't you feel like, if you know

966
00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:10,440
Speaker 2: someone you love triggers, you try not to do the

967
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:11,880
Speaker 2: thing press them.

968
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:12,120
Speaker 1: Yea.

969
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:17,400
Speaker 2: So with you saying, yeah, you shouldn't expect people to

970
00:54:17,440 --> 00:54:21,400
Speaker 2: like live by your triggers, but if they love you,

971
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:26,720
Speaker 2: they're gonna try to not, you know, exhaust that thing

972
00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:29,160
Speaker 2: and you that make you scared or angry.

973
00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 1: One thing I used to say to my ex is.

974
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:35,560
Speaker 1: I would call him in son of a bitch, and

975
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:39,080
Speaker 1: he would get so mad about that. Y'all. Let me

976
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:42,719
Speaker 1: tell y'all the story. I made this nigga a hamburger.

977
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:45,080
Speaker 1: And when I this is when back when I used

978
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:45,600
Speaker 1: to eat meat.

979
00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 2: See that I'm mad now because you ain't putting no cheese.

980
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:51,480
Speaker 1: On the Hold on, bitch. Okay, when I when I

981
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 1: cook and I made you a veggie burger, right, So

982
00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:58,640
Speaker 1: just imagine me getting ground beef rog ground beef, cutting

983
00:54:58,719 --> 00:55:01,799
Speaker 1: up onions and pepper, and I like to use like

984
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:04,319
Speaker 1: the little lipton because I put this on the I

985
00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:07,520
Speaker 1: put I put the limpten onion soup on the on

986
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:10,120
Speaker 1: the beyond burgers too. But when I wouldn't make going

987
00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:12,600
Speaker 1: make burgers back in the day, I would always use

988
00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:18,160
Speaker 1: those big ass Hawaiian king Hawaiian guns like the sweet ones,

989
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:21,319
Speaker 1: and I'm making this and this nigga was begging me

990
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:24,440
Speaker 1: saying how hungry he was. He was just so hungry,

991
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:26,879
Speaker 1: so hungry. So I'm like hurrying up to cook him

992
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:29,239
Speaker 1: something to eat before I got to start work, right,

993
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:33,080
Speaker 1: So I make the burger. I set the burger on account.

994
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:35,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, you're not gonna eat. One thing I cannot

995
00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 1: fucking stand is cooking for somebody and them not eating immediately.

996
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:43,160
Speaker 1: That's triggering for me because you don't value my time.

997
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:47,799
Speaker 1: You don't value to love the effort, last minute thing

998
00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:50,680
Speaker 1: I did for you to make sure you're settled before

999
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:54,320
Speaker 1: I do my stuff, right, That's what it was about.

1000
00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:56,520
Speaker 1: So it's not even about the food or you eating.

1001
00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:59,160
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like my efforts aren't valued.

1002
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:02,799
Speaker 1: M don't you know I'm yelling at not yelling at him.

1003
00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:04,239
Speaker 1: I'm like, you're not gonna eat, Like, why are you

1004
00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:06,040
Speaker 1: eating this burger? Like it's just sitting there getting cold.

1005
00:56:06,040 --> 00:56:08,640
Speaker 1: Because I can't stand serving people cold food. I'm a server,

1006
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:11,160
Speaker 1: like I like to serve people and they be like,

1007
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:13,200
Speaker 1: oh this is so good. That excites me, that makes

1008
00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:16,399
Speaker 1: me happy. So now now my fucking cold gour made

1009
00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 1: burger is sitting on the counter and he takes one

1010
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:21,560
Speaker 1: bite out the burger and then balls it up on

1011
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:26,960
Speaker 1: the plate. I took the whole plate and slam dunked

1012
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:30,440
Speaker 1: it in the trash, ceramic, the whole plate, and I

1013
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:34,359
Speaker 1: was like, you son of a bitch, so mean?

1014
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:36,080
Speaker 2: So he balled it up.

1015
00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:38,440
Speaker 1: What do you mean you heard me like a child

1016
00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:41,080
Speaker 1: playing with his food. He balled it up on the plate,

1017
00:56:41,280 --> 00:56:43,279
Speaker 1: put all his fingers in it, He took one bite

1018
00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:45,120
Speaker 1: out of it, and then balled it up on the plate,

1019
00:56:45,760 --> 00:56:47,799
Speaker 1: all because I wanted him to eat.

1020
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:57,960
Speaker 2: Oh, he was associated past. That is crazy.

1021
00:56:57,480 --> 00:56:59,319
Speaker 1: And those are the type of that's the type of

1022
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:02,120
Speaker 1: trauma I live with. You have to say what I'm saying.

1023
00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:06,080
Speaker 1: So now you better eat immediately forever, my nigga. Oh,

1024
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:11,920
Speaker 1: it's gonna be a problem. But yeah, I uh, hold on,

1025
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:14,640
Speaker 1: I got into that whole story for what triggering? Oh

1026
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:16,800
Speaker 1: I knew me calling him a son of a bitch

1027
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:21,960
Speaker 1: would be triggering because his mom passed away. Y'all was

1028
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 1: both Yeah, I was both going for the guzzling that night.

1029
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:27,640
Speaker 1: But I don't start there. You know what I'm saying,

1030
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:29,160
Speaker 1: Like you took me there.

1031
00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:32,600
Speaker 2: Listen, he would have balled it up and I would

1032
00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:34,439
Speaker 2: have win and got him afore because now you gonna

1033
00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:39,320
Speaker 2: eat them pieces off that plate. You should have told

1034
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:41,240
Speaker 2: me you want to slop each other, because that's what

1035
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:45,600
Speaker 2: the fuck you about to eat?

1036
00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:50,880
Speaker 1: Man with your meal faster. Yeah, he said hate when

1037
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:52,720
Speaker 1: I was going, and I knew that was very triggering

1038
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 1: for him, and I did it purposely. Absolutely, not often,

1039
00:57:57,400 --> 00:57:59,760
Speaker 1: but times where he just got real belligerent. You know

1040
00:57:59,800 --> 00:58:01,720
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Cause you haven't been with somebody who

1041
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:06,160
Speaker 1: just make you be nasty mm hmm. That is not

1042
00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:09,240
Speaker 1: my normal setting. I don't wake up to want to

1043
00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:11,360
Speaker 1: be mean, you know.

1044
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:11,720
Speaker 2: What I mean?

1045
00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:15,800
Speaker 1: People though, And this is why that sixth love language

1046
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:18,200
Speaker 1: is the fucking thing. A lot of people like chaos

1047
00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:21,520
Speaker 1: like you, you just can't be loving because it's scary

1048
00:58:21,560 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 1: for them. It's scary for them to think that you

1049
00:58:24,280 --> 00:58:27,200
Speaker 1: really care about them. You want to be nice and

1050
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:28,240
Speaker 1: loving to them.

1051
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:32,320
Speaker 2: I remember my grandma sometimes, like I remember spending the

1052
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:34,240
Speaker 2: night at my grandma house and she was real old

1053
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:36,200
Speaker 2: by this time. She wake up in the morning. The

1054
00:58:36,240 --> 00:58:37,680
Speaker 2: first thing I hear at her mouth.

1055
00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:39,600
Speaker 1: Shit, that's my mom.

1056
00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:45,120
Speaker 2: What is this. Is that the first thing you said

1057
00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:45,800
Speaker 2: in the morning?

1058
00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:47,400
Speaker 1: Why are you mad that you woke up?

1059
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:49,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Are you angry that

1060
00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:51,640
Speaker 2: for waking up? Good? Lord?

1061
00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:56,720
Speaker 1: Hemercy shit like like, God, damn, I thought I was

1062
00:58:56,760 --> 00:59:00,680
Speaker 1: gonna be going. That's how I felt when I lived

1063
00:59:00,680 --> 00:59:02,560
Speaker 1: in Saint Louis. I definitely used to wake up like

1064
00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:04,320
Speaker 1: that every more, like I felt like I was in prison.

1065
00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:11,920
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm still here. That's real trauma. Okay.

1066
00:59:12,160 --> 00:59:15,760
Speaker 2: Yeah. Number three, Get to your core issues. Reflect on

1067
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:18,760
Speaker 2: your trigger. What is it shaped from a past relation?

1068
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:21,840
Speaker 2: Was it shaped from a past relationship? Reflect on your

1069
00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:24,600
Speaker 2: plane and your pain? Why did it hurt so much?

1070
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:28,360
Speaker 2: Reflect on your resentment. Which of your values did there

1071
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:32,400
Speaker 2: or your behavior go against? Reflect on your fears? What

1072
00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:35,720
Speaker 2: are you really afraid of? Therapy is an awesome tool

1073
00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:37,840
Speaker 2: for this. Therapists can teach you the right questions to

1074
00:59:37,880 --> 00:59:40,240
Speaker 2: ask yourself and guide you down a path of self

1075
00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:41,600
Speaker 2: awareness and self reflection.

1076
00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:43,000
Speaker 1: M m mmm.

1077
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:46,880
Speaker 2: It's hard to ask those questions in a moment, though,

1078
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:52,400
Speaker 2: But I'm working on my triggers because I have, like

1079
00:59:52,440 --> 00:59:55,280
Speaker 2: I know, I have abandonment issues, and I would definitely

1080
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,360
Speaker 2: if you don't answer my car. If you don't respond

1081
00:59:57,400 --> 01:00:01,160
Speaker 2: back in a minute, you hate me. You fucking hate me.

1082
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:03,760
Speaker 2: I'm a little different and I and I fucking hate

1083
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:04,120
Speaker 2: you too.

1084
01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:08,480
Speaker 1: If you don't eat this pussy, you hate me.

1085
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:11,360
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, Meanwhile, you were asleep, or you was in the shower,

1086
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:13,280
Speaker 2: or you had your own shit going on, and I

1087
01:00:13,360 --> 01:00:16,440
Speaker 2: just made everything about me, and you obviously hate me.

1088
01:00:16,600 --> 01:00:19,400
Speaker 1: You you didn't eat my head. You didn't eat my head.

1089
01:00:19,440 --> 01:00:22,000
Speaker 1: You need my pussy last night before sex, like you

1090
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:22,720
Speaker 1: still love me?

1091
01:00:23,200 --> 01:00:25,920
Speaker 2: Like do you know you hate me? You would hate me,

1092
01:00:26,360 --> 01:00:28,440
Speaker 2: and that's what you wanted me to know by not

1093
01:00:28,480 --> 01:00:29,560
Speaker 2: eating my pussy.

1094
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:34,040
Speaker 1: Obviously, I mean, no other logical reason behind it.

1095
01:00:34,480 --> 01:00:42,800
Speaker 2: Because what is your abuse? One star review, My nigga.

1096
01:00:41,480 --> 01:00:43,080
Speaker 1: This was abuse.

1097
01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:49,200
Speaker 2: That before learn what a healthy relationship can look like.

1098
01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:52,000
Speaker 1: From where I.

1099
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:53,480
Speaker 2: Was about to say, I'm looking he I'm about to

1100
01:00:53,560 --> 01:00:55,800
Speaker 2: keep reading and see where the foo fucking.

1101
01:00:55,640 --> 01:01:00,120
Speaker 1: Where my family relationship was so dysfunctional. They're a lot

1102
01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:03,040
Speaker 1: of things that I saw my mom. Do you know

1103
01:01:03,240 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 1: even you're raising children and relationship wise, I just I

1104
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:10,160
Speaker 1: won't do and some things I've picked up and something

1105
01:01:10,280 --> 01:01:13,520
Speaker 1: I still fight against every day not to do like

1106
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:15,720
Speaker 1: being petty around the fucking house.

1107
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:16,840
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

1108
01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:20,520
Speaker 1: Oh my god, is so hard to go habitate, y'all

1109
01:01:20,520 --> 01:01:23,520
Speaker 1: hear me. I'm like, man, can I get my own

1110
01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:26,600
Speaker 1: bedroom and bathroom? What the fuck is going on?

1111
01:01:27,520 --> 01:01:30,919
Speaker 2: I would like my own bathroom. I don't. We ain't

1112
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:33,560
Speaker 2: got to have a bedroom, separate bedroom, but a bathroom.

1113
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:35,680
Speaker 2: I don't want to share my bathroom either.

1114
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:38,240
Speaker 1: I don't like it. I don't like it.

1115
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 2: I remember in the last relationship, my ex used to

1116
01:01:42,720 --> 01:01:45,120
Speaker 2: like take a poop and then like shave his pub

1117
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:49,160
Speaker 2: hairs over the toilet, and then his dudo looked like

1118
01:01:49,160 --> 01:01:51,920
Speaker 2: a teddy bear in a toilet he left for me

1119
01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:58,520
Speaker 2: to see that shit with just like a dog, just

1120
01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:01,800
Speaker 2: a dookie covered in hair. Just wait when I come.

1121
01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:05,640
Speaker 2: I can't remember. All I saw was a little hairy turd,

1122
01:02:05,840 --> 01:02:07,480
Speaker 2: and I just was like, oh.

1123
01:02:09,160 --> 01:02:12,320
Speaker 1: No, that's time management right there. He's like, let me

1124
01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:16,800
Speaker 1: just go ahead and clip my balls. Then they got

1125
01:02:16,800 --> 01:02:21,120
Speaker 1: good time management skills. The fuck. That's like people who

1126
01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:24,680
Speaker 1: brush their teeth in the shower. I can't me neither.

1127
01:02:24,840 --> 01:02:26,400
Speaker 1: Why is your toothbrush in the shower?

1128
01:02:26,640 --> 01:02:27,600
Speaker 2: That is? I don't like it?

1129
01:02:27,760 --> 01:02:29,080
Speaker 1: Fucking nasty to me.

1130
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:31,080
Speaker 2: It's growl. I think it's just men that do that.

1131
01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:32,720
Speaker 2: I don't know know women who brush their teeth in

1132
01:02:32,720 --> 01:02:33,120
Speaker 2: the shower.

1133
01:02:33,240 --> 01:02:35,560
Speaker 1: I think it might just be men. Actually, I don't know.

1134
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:39,160
Speaker 1: Because this guy I was dating, I kept asking him,

1135
01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:40,960
Speaker 1: why are you brushing your teeth in the shower? He

1136
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:44,120
Speaker 1: told me it was a woman that he had dealt

1137
01:02:44,120 --> 01:02:46,360
Speaker 1: with before who used to do that. And he was like,

1138
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:49,120
Speaker 1: he just found that. You know, you're getting multiple things

1139
01:02:49,160 --> 01:02:52,320
Speaker 1: done at the same time. How How and you don't

1140
01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:53,800
Speaker 1: leave your toothbrush in the shower.

1141
01:02:54,480 --> 01:02:57,280
Speaker 2: I don't want my mouth where I'm cleaning my ass.

1142
01:02:57,280 --> 01:02:59,200
Speaker 2: I don't want to clean my mouth and my ass.

1143
01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:01,760
Speaker 2: But men, he is the one rag for everything.

1144
01:03:01,960 --> 01:03:05,520
Speaker 1: So them niggas just nasty dog even when they clean.

1145
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:06,800
Speaker 2: M hm.

1146
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:08,960
Speaker 1: I don't know. Now, some niggas be extra clean.

1147
01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:11,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know some extra clean Terry. Terry is an

1148
01:03:11,800 --> 01:03:13,240
Speaker 2: extra clean nigga.

1149
01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:17,320
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, forever. When I tell you all my favorite

1150
01:03:17,320 --> 01:03:20,080
Speaker 1: freshman's first grade, you better fucking believe it.

1151
01:03:20,160 --> 01:03:23,480
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, he is an extra clean nigga. Okay. So

1152
01:03:23,520 --> 01:03:28,400
Speaker 2: what it says is regularly seeking out relationship education opportunities.

1153
01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:32,280
Speaker 2: Research shows that couples who learn healthy relationship expectations and

1154
01:03:32,320 --> 01:03:37,080
Speaker 2: skills are less likely to divorce and have higher marital satisfaction.

1155
01:03:38,160 --> 01:03:42,200
Speaker 2: Regularly challenge your expectations. Are they healthy? Are they realistic?

1156
01:03:42,560 --> 01:03:44,880
Speaker 2: Ask yourself what kind of love do my partner and

1157
01:03:44,920 --> 01:03:45,480
Speaker 2: I deserve?

1158
01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:49,840
Speaker 1: Hmm, yeah, I guess I still think about how shit,

1159
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:53,720
Speaker 1: y'all I got this big, beautiful bad that I bought. Okay,

1160
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:56,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell y'all, this is the current. And it

1161
01:03:57,000 --> 01:04:01,000
Speaker 1: wasn't about the bad, right, the shit with my mental health.

1162
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:02,920
Speaker 1: It still fucks with my mental health because I have

1163
01:04:02,960 --> 01:04:07,200
Speaker 1: to see it every day. Nice beds the silk head headboard,

1164
01:04:08,040 --> 01:04:11,760
Speaker 1: and this nigga puts his greasy fucking head on that

1165
01:04:11,880 --> 01:04:15,240
Speaker 1: headboard after I asked him several times, Hey, watch your head,

1166
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:18,200
Speaker 1: real nice, hey watch your head? Even catch him before

1167
01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:19,920
Speaker 1: he put his head back put a pillow back there.

1168
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:25,360
Speaker 1: That's how conscious I am about this headboard. Right now,

1169
01:04:25,400 --> 01:04:33,200
Speaker 1: I have a big Palmer's coconut butter stain about the

1170
01:04:33,240 --> 01:04:37,160
Speaker 1: size of a golf or soccer ball on the fucking headboard.

1171
01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:42,000
Speaker 1: And it's not about the headboard, right, It's the value system. Now,

1172
01:04:42,080 --> 01:04:45,080
Speaker 1: you see, some things can translate into something else. So

1173
01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:47,480
Speaker 1: what is it that your partner is like, y'all, our

1174
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:50,640
Speaker 1: value systems might be different, you know what I'm saying,

1175
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:53,640
Speaker 1: Like you might value your Jordan's. That's why I probably

1176
01:04:53,680 --> 01:04:56,400
Speaker 1: should tiptoe around the fucking house and all of them.

1177
01:04:56,720 --> 01:04:59,720
Speaker 2: You know, no, you gotta like you gotta bend down

1178
01:04:59,760 --> 01:05:05,960
Speaker 2: on all.

1179
01:05:03,080 --> 01:05:05,880
Speaker 1: You look folded all of a sudden, all those nice

1180
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:10,880
Speaker 1: retro j's that you can cover it. U. Yeah, I'm

1181
01:05:10,920 --> 01:05:13,520
Speaker 1: like that about like furniture. I like the house to

1182
01:05:13,560 --> 01:05:15,480
Speaker 1: be nice, you know what I'm saying, Like I liken

1183
01:05:15,560 --> 01:05:18,360
Speaker 1: her to smell like fresh. Sometimes when I leave the house,

1184
01:05:18,600 --> 01:05:21,680
Speaker 1: I leave the TV like on meditation music. So when

1185
01:05:21,680 --> 01:05:25,240
Speaker 1: I walk in, it's like straight zin, it's cool, it

1186
01:05:25,360 --> 01:05:29,960
Speaker 1: smelled good, and it's this should should be our safe haven.

1187
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:33,960
Speaker 1: Why am I getting stressed out about this fucking oil stain? Right?

1188
01:05:34,400 --> 01:05:36,280
Speaker 1: You get in value this fucking bad.

1189
01:05:37,760 --> 01:05:40,640
Speaker 2: This bitch called me, She's like, hey, do you have

1190
01:05:40,720 --> 01:05:43,520
Speaker 2: the bandwidth right now for me to vent? I was like,

1191
01:05:43,560 --> 01:05:46,400
Speaker 2: go ahead, my nigga, I will talk about She turned

1192
01:05:46,480 --> 01:05:49,080
Speaker 2: instantly into a whole hogan on the phone.

1193
01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:53,560
Speaker 1: About that oil stain that should hurt my feelings so bad.

1194
01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:56,360
Speaker 1: And I don't think he understands, like how much that

1195
01:05:56,440 --> 01:05:58,640
Speaker 1: hurt my feelings? It started something in me.

1196
01:05:59,560 --> 01:05:59,960
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

1197
01:06:00,080 --> 01:06:02,560
Speaker 1: And if you happen to listen to this episode, my nigga, yes,

1198
01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:07,240
Speaker 1: I am still a harboring resentment towards you because of

1199
01:06:07,240 --> 01:06:12,320
Speaker 1: this motherfucking headboard. Because it's not about the headboard, it

1200
01:06:12,440 --> 01:06:16,000
Speaker 1: is your value system. I'm now questioning because I don't

1201
01:06:16,040 --> 01:06:18,479
Speaker 1: give a fuck for real, Like, of course, we gotta

1202
01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:20,720
Speaker 1: put clothes on, like when we record, but I literally

1203
01:06:20,840 --> 01:06:23,240
Speaker 1: dress like a ninja. Every day. I got on black

1204
01:06:23,320 --> 01:06:25,520
Speaker 1: legs and a black ting top and sneakers. I'm going

1205
01:06:25,560 --> 01:06:27,840
Speaker 1: to the gym. I got a sweaty stain around the

1206
01:06:27,880 --> 01:06:31,280
Speaker 1: coochy area. Okay, every day I'm walking in Walmart, I'll

1207
01:06:31,360 --> 01:06:34,720
Speaker 1: target like that. I don't really give a fuck no

1208
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:37,480
Speaker 1: more about putting clothes on, Like I don't really, But

1209
01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:40,040
Speaker 1: like home stuff, I want that stuff to be nice

1210
01:06:40,080 --> 01:06:42,440
Speaker 1: and cared for. Is that too much to ask for?

1211
01:06:43,640 --> 01:06:46,320
Speaker 2: No? I don't think so. But you gotta just remember

1212
01:06:46,360 --> 01:06:49,080
Speaker 2: he a man, and his brain don't Their brain don't

1213
01:06:49,120 --> 01:06:51,440
Speaker 2: work the same way.

1214
01:06:51,360 --> 01:06:54,120
Speaker 1: That my daddy is like that though, right, So, my

1215
01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:57,880
Speaker 1: daddy is a very clean man. My daddy cooks clean

1216
01:06:58,720 --> 01:07:00,960
Speaker 1: like that nigga can't stay and the top off the

1217
01:07:00,960 --> 01:07:04,800
Speaker 1: toothpaste like he got his things. And that's so, that

1218
01:07:04,920 --> 01:07:08,400
Speaker 1: is what I'm used to mm hmm. I'm not saying

1219
01:07:08,760 --> 01:07:11,439
Speaker 1: I have a dirty man by any means, because he's

1220
01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:14,360
Speaker 1: very clean. He just got to get high first and

1221
01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:18,000
Speaker 1: then he starts cleaning like Molly fucking made four boards

1222
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:18,840
Speaker 1: and all of those.

1223
01:07:19,520 --> 01:07:21,880
Speaker 2: So just keep the weed planing for around the house.

1224
01:07:28,360 --> 01:07:33,080
Speaker 1: Get when he high. You heard me? What else you got?

1225
01:07:33,280 --> 01:07:36,040
Speaker 1: Sorry y'all, right, y'all for letting me vent about this

1226
01:07:36,120 --> 01:07:38,120
Speaker 1: motherfucker man. I'm gonna post a picture of it.

1227
01:07:38,160 --> 01:07:41,000
Speaker 2: He's gonna be mad. You didn't even ask him that

1228
01:07:41,040 --> 01:07:42,160
Speaker 2: they have the band wid for that.

1229
01:07:42,560 --> 01:07:42,840
Speaker 1: Sorry?

1230
01:07:42,920 --> 01:07:44,160
Speaker 2: Sorry, I hope y'all did.

1231
01:07:45,600 --> 01:07:45,880
Speaker 1: Alright?

1232
01:07:46,880 --> 01:07:50,480
Speaker 2: Release Vent Alright number five and this is the last one.

1233
01:07:50,560 --> 01:07:54,400
Speaker 2: Communicate with your partner. Explain what's going on for you,

1234
01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:57,440
Speaker 2: and this one is most important to me. Validate each

1235
01:07:57,720 --> 01:08:01,040
Speaker 2: other's feelings, not just your own. Don't just wait for

1236
01:08:01,200 --> 01:08:05,360
Speaker 2: your feelings to be validated. Validate your partner's feelings as well.

1237
01:08:05,560 --> 01:08:08,120
Speaker 2: You know, even if you don't understand it, even if

1238
01:08:08,160 --> 01:08:11,680
Speaker 2: you don't necessarily align with what they're feeling. Just validate.

1239
01:08:11,880 --> 01:08:13,960
Speaker 1: That is it genuine when you do it? Though? But

1240
01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:16,280
Speaker 1: how do you validate somebody's feelings?

1241
01:08:17,120 --> 01:08:20,320
Speaker 2: Receive it? Don't? Just some people hear what you're saying,

1242
01:08:20,520 --> 01:08:23,559
Speaker 2: and when they stop going to talk about what they feeling,

1243
01:08:24,280 --> 01:08:26,040
Speaker 2: the first thing you say, the next thing that come

1244
01:08:26,040 --> 01:08:28,360
Speaker 2: out of your mouth is how you feel. You didn't

1245
01:08:28,360 --> 01:08:29,519
Speaker 2: even acknowledge what I saw.

1246
01:08:29,960 --> 01:08:33,280
Speaker 1: Oh, I understand what you're saying. It's the butt that

1247
01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:36,400
Speaker 1: gets me. You don't understand what I'm saying. If there's

1248
01:08:36,439 --> 01:08:38,120
Speaker 1: a butt after it?

1249
01:08:38,760 --> 01:08:39,719
Speaker 2: What about however?

1250
01:08:40,479 --> 01:08:42,760
Speaker 1: Bitch not?

1251
01:08:47,439 --> 01:08:51,840
Speaker 2: However, so I understand what you're feeling. I understand what

1252
01:08:51,880 --> 01:08:57,160
Speaker 2: you're saying. This is what I'm feeling. How can we find.

1253
01:08:56,960 --> 01:08:58,599
Speaker 1: A way omitt it? The butt?

1254
01:09:00,400 --> 01:09:03,200
Speaker 2: This is what I'm feeling. Because what you're saying is

1255
01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:07,240
Speaker 2: if I say but, that doesn't invalidate you. That just

1256
01:09:07,280 --> 01:09:11,000
Speaker 2: means I feel something different from you, you know. That's why.

1257
01:09:11,560 --> 01:09:16,320
Speaker 1: That's why I said, how do you validate the person's feelings? Right?

1258
01:09:16,600 --> 01:09:19,439
Speaker 2: Saying you understand Even though you're saying but, that doesn't

1259
01:09:19,479 --> 01:09:21,800
Speaker 2: mean you don't validate their feelings. That just might mean

1260
01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:23,000
Speaker 2: you don't agree with their feelings.

1261
01:09:24,960 --> 01:09:28,760
Speaker 1: Right. But sometimes when you say but, but such and

1262
01:09:28,840 --> 01:09:32,040
Speaker 1: such and such and such. People still then feel like

1263
01:09:32,040 --> 01:09:35,120
Speaker 1: you're not validating any feelings are You're not validating what

1264
01:09:35,160 --> 01:09:36,760
Speaker 1: it is that they're saying, So you end up in

1265
01:09:36,800 --> 01:09:38,080
Speaker 1: this merry go round thing.

1266
01:09:39,240 --> 01:09:43,880
Speaker 2: But validation doesn't necessarily mean agree It just means I

1267
01:09:43,920 --> 01:09:47,559
Speaker 2: receive what you're saying. I understand what you're saying. However,

1268
01:09:47,960 --> 01:09:53,320
Speaker 2: I feel differently. You know, I don't necessarily align validation

1269
01:09:53,520 --> 01:09:54,480
Speaker 2: with agreeance.

1270
01:09:56,479 --> 01:10:02,160
Speaker 1: So validation and relationships express empathy, normalize feelings misunderstanding what

1271
01:10:02,200 --> 01:10:05,240
Speaker 1: it means to validate reflect their Oh hold on, let

1272
01:10:05,280 --> 01:10:10,080
Speaker 1: me see empathy. Empathy express empathy. So okay, so you know,

1273
01:10:10,560 --> 01:10:15,200
Speaker 1: I really understand where you're coming from, But do you

1274
01:10:15,320 --> 01:10:17,360
Speaker 1: understand where I'm coming from?

1275
01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:20,800
Speaker 2: It's like, no, don't even say, but I do know,

1276
01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:24,639
Speaker 2: bitch that I did.

1277
01:10:25,080 --> 01:10:28,240
Speaker 1: Validation is a communication skill that can help both parties

1278
01:10:28,240 --> 01:10:33,040
Speaker 1: in a conversation feel heard and understood. Validation shows that

1279
01:10:33,120 --> 01:10:36,519
Speaker 1: you are truly listening to understand the other person's feelings

1280
01:10:36,520 --> 01:10:39,680
Speaker 1: and point of view, even if you disagree.

1281
01:10:40,320 --> 01:10:44,160
Speaker 2: There because you don't like. Validation doesn't mean all right,

1282
01:10:44,200 --> 01:10:46,040
Speaker 2: I don't have nothing else to say because I agree

1283
01:10:46,080 --> 01:10:46,800
Speaker 2: with what you're saying.

1284
01:10:47,680 --> 01:10:51,240
Speaker 1: Oh, here's some examples. I can understand why you feel

1285
01:10:51,240 --> 01:10:53,960
Speaker 1: that way. I can tell this is really important to you.

1286
01:10:54,400 --> 01:10:59,680
Speaker 1: What a frustrating, upsetting situation. I want to make sure

1287
01:10:59,720 --> 01:11:03,080
Speaker 1: I'm understanding correctly. That's I use that one. I ask

1288
01:11:03,160 --> 01:11:05,160
Speaker 1: for clarity before I flip out a lot of times.

1289
01:11:06,520 --> 01:11:07,960
Speaker 1: Can you explain what you mean by that?

1290
01:11:09,960 --> 01:11:12,920
Speaker 2: But are you asking for clarity? Are you asking for.

1291
01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:16,280
Speaker 1: So you can No, I'm not correct, So I can

1292
01:11:16,280 --> 01:11:19,120
Speaker 1: flip out because once you give me off, once you

1293
01:11:19,240 --> 01:11:22,599
Speaker 1: offer me the Okay, my friendship that I was arguing with, right,

1294
01:11:22,640 --> 01:11:26,519
Speaker 1: my homegirl, I sent her a long ass text message

1295
01:11:26,560 --> 01:11:28,599
Speaker 1: and response to a long ass voice note. She sent

1296
01:11:28,640 --> 01:11:33,160
Speaker 1: me for clarity, right, So I read what you sent

1297
01:11:33,880 --> 01:11:38,800
Speaker 1: for clarity. You then refused to read what I sent

1298
01:11:39,680 --> 01:11:46,600
Speaker 1: offering clarity. So your hell bent on this miscommunity communication, misunderstanding.

1299
01:11:48,840 --> 01:11:53,280
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. That's never my position now,

1300
01:11:53,400 --> 01:11:55,760
Speaker 1: because I know the difference with somebody trying to play

1301
01:11:55,800 --> 01:12:00,360
Speaker 1: in my face, right, or with somebody's genuinely like okay,

1302
01:12:01,240 --> 01:12:04,720
Speaker 1: you know, so trying to hear So, yeah, she just

1303
01:12:04,880 --> 01:12:07,720
Speaker 1: she she thought she she believes she's right. So I

1304
01:12:07,720 --> 01:12:10,200
Speaker 1: don't want to argue with nobody right or wrong. No more,

1305
01:12:10,640 --> 01:12:12,640
Speaker 1: I don't So I don't even know how you how

1306
01:12:12,640 --> 01:12:15,040
Speaker 1: do you get around these type of things? Like I'm

1307
01:12:15,080 --> 01:12:18,479
Speaker 1: not saying I'm always right, but I do my very

1308
01:12:18,640 --> 01:12:23,200
Speaker 1: best in every situation. I try to make sure I'm

1309
01:12:23,240 --> 01:12:26,759
Speaker 1: doing my best and I'm presenting my best best self.

1310
01:12:28,200 --> 01:12:31,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I mean that's all you can do. That's

1311
01:12:31,439 --> 01:12:35,519
Speaker 2: all you can do. So that's the five tips you guys.

1312
01:12:35,800 --> 01:12:37,800
Speaker 2: I hope y'all try to apply this shit to your

1313
01:12:37,880 --> 01:12:41,559
Speaker 2: relationships if you have one. I got to listen. I know,

1314
01:12:41,640 --> 01:12:44,000
Speaker 2: I'm so hard on these niggas, I really am. I

1315
01:12:44,040 --> 01:12:47,679
Speaker 2: got to do better. I can't never pick nobody. I'll

1316
01:12:47,680 --> 01:12:51,040
Speaker 2: really be having some you know, nice men, you know,

1317
01:12:51,160 --> 01:12:54,400
Speaker 2: pursuing me, and I don't never like nobody who like me?

1318
01:12:54,520 --> 01:12:55,439
Speaker 2: You know what is that about it?

1319
01:12:55,520 --> 01:12:57,800
Speaker 1: You know why? Because for women and this just this

1320
01:12:57,880 --> 01:13:00,679
Speaker 1: might be a trauma response when you can't pay because

1321
01:13:00,800 --> 01:13:05,880
Speaker 1: you've picked before and the result wasn't favorable. Right, So

1322
01:13:05,920 --> 01:13:08,679
Speaker 1: it's almost like for men, because we know men don't

1323
01:13:08,720 --> 01:13:12,240
Speaker 1: show up as their true authentic selves. Right y'all can say, yeah,

1324
01:13:12,280 --> 01:13:13,800
Speaker 1: we wear we even make up and all this shit.

1325
01:13:13,880 --> 01:13:16,960
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we mean, fake whatever bitch. Okay,

1326
01:13:17,200 --> 01:13:21,080
Speaker 1: but y'all show up as whole other niggas until y'all

1327
01:13:21,120 --> 01:13:23,160
Speaker 1: get what y'all want a lot of times, so it's

1328
01:13:23,160 --> 01:13:27,280
Speaker 1: hard to like, wean through the people who aren't there

1329
01:13:27,360 --> 01:13:30,200
Speaker 1: for that. You know what I'm saying. It is scary.

1330
01:13:31,120 --> 01:13:33,200
Speaker 1: It is scary. You just gotta go ahead and fuck

1331
01:13:33,280 --> 01:13:38,320
Speaker 1: them and then figure out. I'm just saying, like, for real,

1332
01:13:38,920 --> 01:13:41,000
Speaker 1: you don't wait, fuck them, and it's still gonna be

1333
01:13:41,040 --> 01:13:41,559
Speaker 1: some bullshit.

1334
01:13:44,439 --> 01:13:47,040
Speaker 2: It'd be like the ones that's really like. He probably

1335
01:13:47,080 --> 01:13:49,960
Speaker 2: would treat me so nice and be a good husband

1336
01:13:50,000 --> 01:13:52,720
Speaker 2: to me, but his butt bigger than mine, Like it

1337
01:13:52,840 --> 01:13:54,600
Speaker 2: be dumb shit like that.

1338
01:13:54,000 --> 01:13:58,800
Speaker 1: You are six fee got god, you got child bearing here,

1339
01:14:00,439 --> 01:14:05,320
Speaker 1: and that's why he's single. Don't nobody want on fpis son.

1340
01:14:07,920 --> 01:14:11,000
Speaker 2: That's always my fear because my butt is so big,

1341
01:14:11,040 --> 01:14:12,840
Speaker 2: and I just scared I'm gonna pass that on to

1342
01:14:13,000 --> 01:14:17,160
Speaker 2: a little boy. Please don't do that to me. Please

1343
01:14:17,200 --> 01:14:17,600
Speaker 2: don't do that.

1344
01:14:17,680 --> 01:14:19,639
Speaker 1: I don't like a nigga with no ass though. Don't

1345
01:14:19,640 --> 01:14:21,719
Speaker 1: be coming around here looking like a tabphole dog.

1346
01:14:21,840 --> 01:14:24,720
Speaker 2: Okay, I need I take that over, really, we take

1347
01:14:24,760 --> 01:14:26,000
Speaker 2: that over all, big.

1348
01:14:25,840 --> 01:14:29,599
Speaker 1: Little snolly face booty, just like the little tiny cuff

1349
01:14:29,600 --> 01:14:31,719
Speaker 1: at the bottom, and they like shape like a heart.

1350
01:14:33,360 --> 01:14:35,200
Speaker 2: Over a fat ass looking like yeah.

1351
01:14:35,240 --> 01:14:37,679
Speaker 1: I'm not saying a fat ass, but like the same

1352
01:14:37,720 --> 01:14:41,280
Speaker 1: way I like like fit backs. I like a nice

1353
01:14:41,320 --> 01:14:41,880
Speaker 1: booty too.

1354
01:14:42,560 --> 01:14:44,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would like that. But if I had to

1355
01:14:44,520 --> 01:14:46,760
Speaker 2: choose one of them, I take the tampole.

1356
01:14:46,840 --> 01:14:49,320
Speaker 1: No, hell no, I like niggas with thighs too, like

1357
01:14:49,360 --> 01:14:51,040
Speaker 1: I like niggas with like nice So.

1358
01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:53,080
Speaker 2: You don't want a nigga with my ass standing it?

1359
01:14:53,160 --> 01:14:57,080
Speaker 1: This absolutely not like damn the nigga that's your fucking

1360
01:14:57,160 --> 01:14:59,640
Speaker 1: home girl. You need to get out of that relationship.

1361
01:15:01,160 --> 01:15:06,840
Speaker 1: You are in a lasbian relationship and you're probably wearing your.

1362
01:15:06,800 --> 01:15:10,400
Speaker 2: Drawers, That's what I'm saying. So you would take the

1363
01:15:10,439 --> 01:15:11,360
Speaker 2: tadpole over there?

1364
01:15:12,200 --> 01:15:14,840
Speaker 1: No, you would take a tadpole. I know. I don't

1365
01:15:14,920 --> 01:15:16,519
Speaker 1: want that. I don't want No.

1366
01:15:16,960 --> 01:15:19,559
Speaker 2: If you had to choose between the two, if you had.

1367
01:15:20,400 --> 01:15:23,880
Speaker 1: Give me the fatty really yeah, man, yeah, man, give

1368
01:15:23,920 --> 01:15:31,880
Speaker 1: me the fatty that. I'd rather that than that. Little

1369
01:15:31,880 --> 01:15:36,360
Speaker 1: fucking girls. You gotta show me an example, because walking

1370
01:15:36,360 --> 01:15:44,400
Speaker 1: around in here, big belly, I don't want my like

1371
01:15:44,479 --> 01:15:46,559
Speaker 1: Rick Ross dog, I don't want it.

1372
01:15:48,320 --> 01:15:53,240
Speaker 2: That's how Rick Ross built. I never really paid ashes, damn.

1373
01:15:54,040 --> 01:15:56,760
Speaker 1: That's how I know Rick Ros's boy, booty guy, like

1374
01:15:56,800 --> 01:16:02,920
Speaker 1: a little happy meal, little arch at the bottom.

1375
01:16:02,960 --> 01:16:06,559
Speaker 2: Just y'all, let's get about of here, man.

1376
01:16:09,240 --> 01:16:14,439
Speaker 1: Anyway, My last last look. If if you want to

1377
01:16:14,479 --> 01:16:17,960
Speaker 1: go back, go back right, but don't forget, don't I

1378
01:16:17,960 --> 01:16:22,479
Speaker 1: think because this this episode actually started with looking like

1379
01:16:22,600 --> 01:16:31,520
Speaker 1: going backwards and relationships or bringing past things into new relationships.

1380
01:16:34,479 --> 01:16:38,360
Speaker 1: I'm not saying not to go back words because I

1381
01:16:38,400 --> 01:16:41,080
Speaker 1: do it a lot. You know what I'm saying, same niggas,

1382
01:16:41,160 --> 01:16:43,880
Speaker 1: heavy rotation. I know what I'm getting. You know what

1383
01:16:43,920 --> 01:16:46,800
Speaker 1: I'm saying is just hopefully this time it's better than

1384
01:16:46,840 --> 01:16:52,920
Speaker 1: the last time, and it is try it. Okay, it

1385
01:16:53,000 --> 01:16:54,960
Speaker 1: ain't that many niggas out here for real, it's like

1386
01:16:55,040 --> 01:16:57,920
Speaker 1: four of them, So you tell me you got this

1387
01:16:58,200 --> 01:17:02,000
Speaker 1: rosta and it's one and possible on that bitch, I promise,

1388
01:17:02,640 --> 01:17:05,720
Speaker 1: because it's only a couple of different characteristics out here

1389
01:17:05,760 --> 01:17:08,559
Speaker 1: in people, and I think you can find them. It's

1390
01:17:08,560 --> 01:17:15,000
Speaker 1: probably five characteristics from real what roster I got? Yeah,

1391
01:17:15,840 --> 01:17:17,040
Speaker 1: niggas do I got, y'all?

1392
01:17:18,720 --> 01:17:21,000
Speaker 2: Did you hear anything I ain't got? I know what

1393
01:17:21,040 --> 01:17:22,759
Speaker 2: you talk about whatever, don't.

1394
01:17:22,680 --> 01:17:25,120
Speaker 1: Tell whatever you got going on in life. I'm just saying,

1395
01:17:25,600 --> 01:17:31,599
Speaker 1: it's this the same, it's the same personalities oftentimes, right, yeah,

1396
01:17:31,640 --> 01:17:34,280
Speaker 1: so and then you know, again, all relationships is there's

1397
01:17:34,280 --> 01:17:36,559
Speaker 1: how much you can deal with from somebody else. That's it.

1398
01:17:37,840 --> 01:17:38,519
Speaker 1: That's all it is.

1399
01:17:40,760 --> 01:17:46,240
Speaker 2: So I was, I was high, and that's all came on.

1400
01:17:47,040 --> 01:17:54,280
Speaker 2: Tell me something good, and it made me think, like,

1401
01:17:54,439 --> 01:17:57,040
Speaker 2: I want to hear y'all good news. So call in

1402
01:17:57,479 --> 01:17:59,640
Speaker 2: and share your good news with us, whatever it is.

1403
01:17:59,720 --> 01:18:01,760
Speaker 2: Be like, hey, y'all, just want to tell y'all I

1404
01:18:01,840 --> 01:18:04,080
Speaker 2: just got my degree, or I just bought a new house,

1405
01:18:04,240 --> 01:18:05,960
Speaker 2: or I got a new car, or I just left

1406
01:18:05,960 --> 01:18:07,640
Speaker 2: that nigga alone. Whatever you feel like.

1407
01:18:07,680 --> 01:18:10,479
Speaker 1: You ain't got to hide your good news from us,

1408
01:18:10,560 --> 01:18:14,479
Speaker 1: you know you, Yeah, share shit from some people sometimes.

1409
01:18:14,320 --> 01:18:16,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, share it with us because we want to

1410
01:18:16,280 --> 01:18:18,760
Speaker 2: celebrate you. Is this the right numb not one nine

1411
01:18:18,760 --> 01:18:21,439
Speaker 2: one nine. It says about to expire in third days,

1412
01:18:21,479 --> 01:18:23,439
Speaker 2: So we got to do it. We got to visit,

1413
01:18:24,439 --> 01:18:26,759
Speaker 2: all right. So the number, y'all is nine one nine

1414
01:18:26,840 --> 01:18:29,479
Speaker 2: four one oh seven seven three five. I'm gonna say

1415
01:18:29,479 --> 01:18:33,719
Speaker 2: it again, nine one nine four one oh, seven seven

1416
01:18:33,880 --> 01:18:37,559
Speaker 2: three five, call in, share your good news because we

1417
01:18:37,600 --> 01:18:38,160
Speaker 2: want to hear it.

1418
01:18:39,520 --> 01:18:42,120
Speaker 1: All right, y'all, you don't have a last last for

1419
01:18:42,160 --> 01:18:44,880
Speaker 1: the relationship stuff, but that's it there.

1420
01:18:44,920 --> 01:18:49,640
Speaker 2: I ain't got shit because I can't listening. I don't know,

1421
01:18:49,800 --> 01:18:50,479
Speaker 2: all right, y'all.

1422
01:18:50,520 --> 01:18:52,879
Speaker 1: If you enjoyed this episode, y'all, tune in every Thursday

1423
01:18:52,880 --> 01:18:56,360
Speaker 1: on the Black Effect podcast, iHeartRadio, Apple, whatever the fuck

1424
01:18:56,400 --> 01:18:58,519
Speaker 1: you get your podcasts at. This is your co host,

1425
01:18:58,560 --> 01:19:04,400
Speaker 1: aj Holiday two point oh on instagrams. Kick it Tam, y'all.

1426
01:19:04,439 --> 01:19:08,320
Speaker 2: Its official Tambama on Instagram. Follow me please. I appreciate

1427
01:19:08,360 --> 01:19:10,760
Speaker 2: the love, y'all. Remember to speak.

1428
01:19:10,479 --> 01:19:17,559
Speaker 1: Now and should never hold your peace, never hold your

1429
01:19:17,600 --> 01:19:24,520
Speaker 1: soft munit communicate talk Lot's wife, look ahead.

1430
01:19:26,240 --> 01:19:26,679
Speaker 2: Bye.

1431
01:19:26,960 --> 01:19:30,880
Speaker 1: We Talk Back podcast is the production of iHeartRadio. Visit

1432
01:19:30,920 --> 01:19:34,760
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to

1433
01:19:34,800 --> 01:19:35,679
Speaker 1: your favorite shows