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Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, what's going on?

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Speaker 2: Hi?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I was just getting ready for bed. Actually, I

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Speaker 3: didn't know if i'd hear back from you.

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Speaker 1: What's your name? Sailor?

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Speaker 2: Alicia?

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Speaker 1: Alicia? Alicia? You texted me and you said, uh, I

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Speaker 1: wanted to talk about my dating life. And then you

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Speaker 1: said two things. You said, I attract men with the

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Speaker 1: same kink over and over again by coincidence. And I

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Speaker 1: also hate how men talk in Ohio. It's disturbing.

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Speaker 3: Mm hmm, yeah, yeah, this is true.

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Speaker 1: Uh, okay, let's talk about that first. What is it

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Speaker 1: about the way that men talk in Ohio that is

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Speaker 1: disturbing you?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's very weird. So I've hooked up with

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Speaker 3: a couple of guys since I've moved here, and I

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Speaker 3: want to say, like, I think probably four out of

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Speaker 3: the five they're they're my age, so yeah, I'm in

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Speaker 3: my late thirties, so they're mid mid thirties to forty,

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Speaker 3: and they just when we're actually doing it, they they

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Speaker 3: say like sweety and and hun like they're old men.

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Speaker 1: Huh.

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Speaker 3: I had the most disturbing thing that happened to me

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Speaker 3: was I was doing it with this one guy and

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Speaker 3: I don't want to get graphic, but we were in

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Speaker 3: a certain position where he had some leverage.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, wait, hold on, hold on.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I just listen. You can you can

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Speaker 1: whatever you're comfortable talking about is up to you. But

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Speaker 1: you can say whatever you want. I don't care.

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Speaker 3: Okay. Well, we were doing it and he was behind me,

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Speaker 3: and he had like thrust in and I he said, like,

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Speaker 3: I don't even know howes he.

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Speaker 4: Said, oh Mama, like, okay, you you weren't a fan

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Speaker 4: of that?

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Speaker 1: You were a fan of Oh.

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Speaker 3: My god, no, like who would be I I was cringing,

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Speaker 3: like I oh god. I just kind of was like

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Speaker 3: had my face in my hand, like, oh my god.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe this is happening.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So so multiple go ahead, go ahead.

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Speaker 3: So it's like these guys which I never encountered living

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Speaker 3: in Maine, just like saying hon and sweetie, and then

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Speaker 3: also apparently oh Mama, like I don't know if it's

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Speaker 3: a Midwest like a nice thing, but it's disgusting.

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Speaker 1: Why why do you not like hun and Sweetie?

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Speaker 3: Because it's not like they're really like nice guys. It's

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Speaker 3: not like we have any sort of level of endearment

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Speaker 3: and it's like, what are you doing?

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Speaker 2: They also.

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Speaker 3: They also like to when they leave. This has also

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Speaker 3: happened multiple times. They tell me I'll text you when

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Speaker 3: I get home. Normally the guy would tell the girl

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Speaker 3: text me when you get home. And it's not like

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Speaker 3: they want to continue like a conversation. They will just

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Speaker 3: literally go home and say I made at home. I'm home,

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Speaker 3: like they're letting me know they made it home.

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, And this is when guys are leaving

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Speaker 1: your apartment.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, after we hook up.

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Speaker 1: Now, I'll say this, I think a hunt. I agree

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Speaker 1: with you that Han and Sweetie are they're a little

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Speaker 1: they're a little much. I wouldn't call a woman that

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Speaker 1: I just met hun or sweety. If you have a

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Speaker 1: rapport with a lady and you feel like I feel

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Speaker 1: caught and sweet something you build up to. But sure,

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Speaker 1: a one night stand. I don't know if we're throwing

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Speaker 1: out to haunt the sweetie the mama.

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Speaker 3: It was sark.

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Speaker 1: And do you do you are these guys that you're

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Speaker 1: seeing recurringly or guys that you're just like hooking up with,

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Speaker 1: uh kind of on a one off.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I did see the one guy more than one.

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Speaker 3: He was a he was a sweetie guy because he

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Speaker 3: just like did some other things that intrigued me, but

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Speaker 3: it was not worth it to see him again. And

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Speaker 3: but yeah, these are just people that I'm like meeting

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Speaker 3: on Tinder and chatting with a little bit. There's there's

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Speaker 3: there's really no report.

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Speaker 1: It's so interesting that there's guys in their forties on

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Speaker 1: Tinder because I just so heavily associate Tinder with like

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Speaker 1: my late teens in early twenties.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, No, it's really sad. Like I'm thirty

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Speaker 3: nine and I have an associates degree in an allied

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Speaker 3: health profession. I didn't like it, so I went back

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Speaker 3: to waitressing and bartending, and I am in this weird

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Speaker 3: category of people where it's like the people on Tinder

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Speaker 3: are either like really fucked up, like doctors, or like

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Speaker 3: men who travel all over the world and like, obviously

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Speaker 3: there's something wrong with you, or it's a fake profile,

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Speaker 3: or it's like just a growth person working at like

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Speaker 3: a gas station, and it's like I'm not I'm too

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Speaker 3: good for most of the people and like not good

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Speaker 3: enough for the other portion of people that are on

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Speaker 3: Tender in my age groups, it's wild out there.

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Speaker 1: What is going on? You said? I'm sorry, you said

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Speaker 1: a fucked up doctor? What does that mean?

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Speaker 3: A fucked up doctor? Like, I don't know, you just

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Speaker 3: get I feel like I have a good sense if

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Speaker 3: I can look at people profiles and just be like, oh,

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Speaker 3: there's something wrong with you. I mean, clearly by the

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Speaker 3: people I'm hanging out with, Like maybe not, maybe I

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Speaker 3: missed the mark sometimes, but I just think if someone

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Speaker 3: is truly a doctor and they're like forty and attractive

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Speaker 3: and have pictures in like Greece and Italy and I

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Speaker 3: go to aquariums, like, what's wrong with you?

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Speaker 2: You know? Wait?

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Speaker 1: Wait, wait, If a guy is forty attractive and a

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Speaker 1: doctor and has photos of themselves at the aquarium, that

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Speaker 1: raises a lot of red flags to you.

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Speaker 3: Yes it does.

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Speaker 1: Can you genuine I genuinely want to hear and maybe

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Speaker 1: this is just a gut feeling that's beyond words for you,

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Speaker 1: But if it's not, I would love to hear a

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Speaker 1: further explanation as to why. And I kind of I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to meet you where you're at. I kind of

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Speaker 1: think I understand what you're getting at here, but like,

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Speaker 1: what do you how do you mean.

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Speaker 3: It's hard to explain. It's just like I've been I

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Speaker 3: worked service industry jobs for a long time, serving bartending,

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Speaker 3: which has really helped me, like clock people most of

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Speaker 3: the time, and you just like there's only so many

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Speaker 3: different types of people in the world, I feel like,

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Speaker 3: and you just keep meeting the same people over and

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Speaker 3: over again. And I've I've had regulars that were like doctors,

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Speaker 3: specialist doctors, urologists, cardiologists that did all this cool shit,

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Speaker 3: but like they're single because they like are horrible to

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Speaker 3: women and you know, just like sit at bars drinking

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Speaker 3: all night. But if you're if you're traveling and there's

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Speaker 3: pictures of you, like at the aquarium, and it's just

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Speaker 3: like nothing's ever gonna be enough for you. That's what

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Speaker 3: that says to me. Like you're just always gonna want

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Speaker 3: something more interesting. Yeah, if someone is like doing too much,

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Speaker 3: it's a it's a really like it's intimidating interesting.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So when you see a guy who is like

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Speaker 1: traveling and doing a bunch of stuff, you think, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this person's not gonna be happy with the kind of

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Speaker 1: domestic life that I want to have.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you're not gonna you're not looking to like foster

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Speaker 3: a relationship and like make me coffee in the morning

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Speaker 3: and talk about what we're gonna do. Like you're not

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Speaker 3: You're not gonna want to just like read books together

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Speaker 3: and have our feet touch. You're gonna want to like

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Speaker 3: go out there and like jump out of planes or

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Speaker 3: I don't know what they do, go rock climbing.

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Speaker 1: God, No, all right, so you you'd all so you

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Speaker 1: do you like doing shit?

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Speaker 3: I do.

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Speaker 2: I like to do shit.

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Speaker 3: I like to do things that are a little bit

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Speaker 3: more passive. I like to go look at like a

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Speaker 3: a market. I like to just go somewhere and like

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Speaker 3: get a coffee and like be outside and people watch,

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Speaker 3: or go to any antique mal I don't like to

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Speaker 3: go look at animals, Like I don't want to go

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Speaker 3: to a zoo. I don't want to go to an

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Speaker 3: aquarium and like look at things. But out in the

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Speaker 3: in the world, I like to go look. I like

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Speaker 3: to go to concerts, like a little day trip in

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Speaker 3: the car somewhere, just not a big like thrill speaker

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Speaker 3: dower of frenuous activity.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm, okay, okay, So you're looking for a kind

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Speaker 1: of a boring guy that you can live a kind

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Speaker 1: of relatively boringer life with.

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Speaker 3: I don't. I don't. I don't think it's boring. I

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Speaker 3: think it's cozy, like a life where we have our

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Speaker 3: own things that we like to do, but we're not

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Speaker 3: like huge thrill sneakers, like that's that's of no interest

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Speaker 3: to me, which it's okay. So the other part of

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Speaker 3: what I was saying, attracting dudes that have the same

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Speaker 3: kink kind of ties into this because I am not

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Speaker 3: like a doer, you know, I don't like a lot

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Speaker 3: of strenuous activity. But I did have a long term

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Speaker 3: relationship like five years ago where we got into pegging,

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Speaker 3: and after that, like almost I would just match with

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Speaker 3: people on bumble or you like, meet a guy at

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Speaker 3: a bar and they would want me to peg them.

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Speaker 3: It's like, I just keep finding these guys that want

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Speaker 3: to be pegged, and it doesn't happen to anyone else

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Speaker 3: that I know. So I'm like, what what's going on?

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Speaker 3: What does that say about me?

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Speaker 2: Do you?

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Speaker 1: Is pegging a thing that you like to do to people?

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Speaker 3: I like it, Yeah, it's fun, but I also don't

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Speaker 3: want that. I don't want it all the time. And

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Speaker 3: that's the problem is I found myself in these situations

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Speaker 3: where people will just pigeonhole me into like, oh, you're

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Speaker 3: the You're the chick that's gonna peg me, and then.

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Speaker 1: Okay, you feel like you're getting type cast as like

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Speaker 1: I know this is the kind of lady that will

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Speaker 1: peg me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you give me?

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Speaker 1: And be honest with you?

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Speaker 3: What's your name again, Alicia?

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Speaker 1: Alicia? Now be honest with me, Alicia, because you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't know you, you know yourself. What is it

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Speaker 1: about you that you think is emitting these vibes that

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Speaker 1: you might that what do you think it is about

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Speaker 1: like the way you present to the universe that is

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Speaker 1: causing you to be type casted this way?

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Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm I am quiet and reserved and

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Speaker 3: like I have a dry sense of humor, but it's

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Speaker 3: kind of like a dark sense of humor. But I

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Speaker 3: have dark hair at kale skin. I don't know. Maybe

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Speaker 3: if people see me and they're just like, oh, she

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Speaker 3: looks like a like a what's her face? The chick

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Speaker 3: that dated Marrily Manson, you know, the burlesque lady. Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm definitely she's beautiful. I'm not I'm not like saying

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Speaker 3: I'm a mini her, but similar features like Lynn, She's

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Speaker 3: like her name starts with a day. Yeah not I

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Speaker 3: mean I have dark hair, pale skin. I always have

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Speaker 3: on like a dark red lipstick. I'm like, is that

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Speaker 3: it is that like an association people are making.

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Speaker 4: Is it.

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Speaker 3: Because they know that like the quiet girls are freaky?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: No, I also like am a good listener, so I

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Speaker 3: also have guys just like kind of open up to

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Speaker 3: me a lot. So I don't know. If I create

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Speaker 3: you know, it could be a lot of stuff.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're creating a lot of space for uh people

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Speaker 1: to feel comfortable around you, which does translate to them

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Speaker 1: feeling more comfortable being like, hey, would you want to

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Speaker 1: fuck my ass? What is it that you are looking for?

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Speaker 3: I am I would love a sweet guy who's freaky

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Speaker 3: and is just kind of like, just this sounds bad.

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Speaker 3: I just really kind of want someone to like adore

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Speaker 3: me and just like be obsessed with me and just

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Speaker 3: be happy, like to have a a fun time together.

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Speaker 1: Like why do you say, well, why do you think

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Speaker 1: that that sounds crazy? That sounds I think a lot

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Speaker 1: of people want that. I don't know why I think

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Speaker 1: most people probably want some version of that. Why what

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Speaker 1: what is it about that that you think sounds crazy?

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Speaker 3: It's crazy because no one has a capacity to like

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Speaker 3: admire anyone or anything anymore.

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Speaker 1: That's not true.

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Speaker 3: No, I feel like the temperature. I feel like the temperature.

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Speaker 3: Everyone is just like dead inside. I don't know, maybe

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Speaker 3: it's Ohio, maybe maybe it's something just.

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Speaker 2: Just luck, But.

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Speaker 3: I just feel like people don't There's no yearning, there's

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Speaker 3: no like appreciation. I feel like there's no chalant. It's

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Speaker 3: all very nonchalant.

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Speaker 1: I feel I'm curious about this because I feel like.

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Speaker 2: I have.

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Speaker 1: You're telling me you haven't been able to find a

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Speaker 1: guy that you feel like is obsessed with you. You

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Speaker 1: at least haven't been able to find a guy that

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Speaker 1: you feel like is obsessed with you that you find

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Speaker 1: yourself attracted to. Yeah, it's easy to find a guy's

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Speaker 1: obsessed with you, but it's hard to find a guy's

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Speaker 1: obsessed with you that you like.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and if a guy is obsessed with me, like

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Speaker 3: I did have one guy that was obsessed with me,

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Speaker 3: but again it was it was just sexual. It was

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Speaker 3: just all about pegging. It was just like him dirty

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Speaker 3: texting me all the time, like wanting me to stick

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Speaker 3: dildo's in his mouth, wanting me to like play with

261
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Speaker 3: his ass, just he'd want me to tell him what

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Speaker 3: to do while he was at work, and he'd like

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Speaker 3: go home on his lunch break and take pictures of

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Speaker 3: like him putting in butt plugs, and it was taking

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Speaker 3: up so much of my time. I'm like, I can't

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Speaker 3: do this anymore, dude, Like it's not fun. It's not

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Speaker 3: fun for me. I'm more than just like the things

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Speaker 3: that I do to you.

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Speaker 5: But no, you know, did you bring this up to

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Speaker 5: him where you like, hey, listen, are you interested in

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Speaker 5: anything more than just a sexual relationship?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? I was like, you know, I'm also looking for

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Speaker 3: people to go and do things with and like hang

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Speaker 3: out and watch something and laugh about it. If you

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Speaker 3: want to like watch movies sometime, or like you have

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Speaker 3: to go to Target and you want to make it fun,

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Speaker 3: like I'll come with you. And he's just not interested

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Speaker 3: in that. So I'm like, Okay, I will contact you

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Speaker 3: again when I feel like enough time has passed, and

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Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, yeah, I feel like I could have

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Speaker 3: fun pegging again. Oh, I'll call you and that's where

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Speaker 3: that is.

283
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Speaker 1: So what was your last boyfriend?

284
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Speaker 3: Like my last boyfriend we dated off and on for

285
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Speaker 3: like five years. Well no, oh my god, we had

286
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Speaker 3: a ten year saga. We actually only spent like four

287
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Speaker 3: years out of those ten dating I think, Yeah, we

288
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Speaker 3: just broke up. It's like end of last February, so

289
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Speaker 3: about a year ago for good. And he was very

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Speaker 3: ego totickle. He's like very ego driven. He wanted approval

291
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Speaker 3: from everyone, especially like acquaintances, any like anyone. He knew

292
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Speaker 3: pleasing his bosses were was very important. So because he

293
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Speaker 3: already had my approval, I was like very low on

294
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Speaker 3: the priority list.

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Speaker 1: Oh I see, I see, I see.

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Speaker 3: So he was he was a great friend. He was

297
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Speaker 3: always doing favors for people. He could fix cars, he

298
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Speaker 3: could fix sewing machines, he could he could sew he

299
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Speaker 3: could basically do anything everything. He's had a lot of

300
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Speaker 3: different skill So yeah, he was really also avoidant, would

301
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:09,560
Speaker 3: never talk about issues. I always had to initiate the

302
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Speaker 3: conversation and he would just like shut down, just close off,

303
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 3: and then would have to come back to it like

304
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:21,640
Speaker 3: a couple days later. And it was just a lot

305
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:25,680
Speaker 3: of silent and like nodding like, I'm sorry you felt

306
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Speaker 3: that way. I'll try to do better. Nothing ever changed,

307
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 3: but the times that we were broken up, we never

308
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 3: like really stopped talking, and he did cheat on a

309
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Speaker 3: couple people that he was dating, like with me, which

310
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Speaker 3: I didn't realize right away, and foolishly I thought that

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Speaker 3: meant that it was like love, that he just loved

312
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Speaker 3: me and missed me so much and couldn't stand being

313
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Speaker 3: away from me. But you know, this last time we

314
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:06,639
Speaker 3: broke up, I was like, something's off, something's wrong, And

315
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Speaker 3: for the first time in ten years, I had a

316
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Speaker 3: chance to look through his phone and saw him. You know,

317
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:19,399
Speaker 3: he was texting another girl who he kept her whole

318
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Speaker 3: existence hidden from me. He said he's known her for

319
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Speaker 3: years and was like the only friend I've never heard

320
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Speaker 3: him mention. So that's why we finally ended.

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Speaker 1: What was it about this time over those ten years

322
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Speaker 1: that was like a finale?

323
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Speaker 3: Well I had been trying to figure out for ten

324
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Speaker 3: years off and on, and I'm like, what's the last

325
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 3: I'm like, why does this keep happening? Are we like

326
00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:08,640
Speaker 3: in each other's orbits? Because we're meant to be together

327
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:13,879
Speaker 3: and he was so resistant to like moving in and

328
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,400
Speaker 3: I had set this timeline and like, if we're still

329
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 3: together in a year, I'd like for us to not

330
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Speaker 3: be living separately and you know, combine our lives. Like

331
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Speaker 3: I feel like that's warranted at this stage because we

332
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:32,919
Speaker 3: also lived an hour apart from each other, and I'm like,

333
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 3: I'm tired of just like seeing you before work, after work,

334
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 3: chatting in the parking lot because I worked an hour away.

335
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:45,159
Speaker 3: I worked where he lived in the same city, and

336
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,720
Speaker 3: then like once a week he'd come and stay at

337
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 3: my house and we would just you know, drink, eat,

338
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 3: have sex, smoke, and then like, I want more than this.

339
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,480
Speaker 3: We've been doing this since we were twenty eight, the

340
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:03,520
Speaker 3: hanging out, drinking, gangs, like smoking, like I would like

341
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 3: to do more. So this was the final straw because

342
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 3: I finally learned a lesson. I was like, Okay, the

343
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:21,399
Speaker 3: lesson is for me to know myself worse and to

344
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:26,280
Speaker 3: know that you are just totally disrespectful of me. And

345
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 3: it shouldn't be this hard to like, if someone loves you,

346
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:33,399
Speaker 3: it shouldn't be this hard for them to show it

347
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 3: and for me to feel like that I'm loved, you know,

348
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 3: because he was he was also like a very good gas.

349
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 3: Later he would not do anything to show that he

350
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 3: loved or cared, but assure me that he did. He's like, no,

351
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 3: that's not true. That's not true.

352
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:56,480
Speaker 2: Like, I do love you.

353
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:01,640
Speaker 1: What were you hoping that he would do to show

354
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,440
Speaker 1: that he loved you or cared about you that he

355
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 1: didn't do.

356
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 3: I think so many things, like just offering to help

357
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:19,880
Speaker 3: me in any way when I needed it. I had

358
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:25,399
Speaker 3: pneumonia for like two weeks. I was so sick. He

359
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 3: didn't ask if he could do anything. He didn't come

360
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 3: to my house. He didn't order me door dash, he

361
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 3: didn't have groceries delivered. He just like let me rot,

362
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 3: you know, And that's We've known each other for eight

363
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 3: years at that point.

364
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 1: You gotta that's the thing. I think you gotta like

365
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 1: fucking if you're a guy, you gotta fucking like keep trying.

366
00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 1: I feel like it's important to just like keep trying

367
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:04,199
Speaker 1: trying to like serve your uh, your partner, you know,

368
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 1: even because you you want to get too complacent. You

369
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 1: want to always make sure that you're like, like a

370
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: relationship should kind of be a job in a way,

371
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 1: do you know, like it should be something that you're

372
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 1: always putting effort into you never want to get complacent.

373
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 1: It always needs to be like it's like a plant

374
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:32,119
Speaker 1: that you got to be constantly watering and constantly making

375
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 1: sure that like you're you're serving this person, not even

376
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,680
Speaker 1: when they're I mean, especially when they're in need, when

377
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 1: they're like fucking sick or whatever, but uh, when they're not,

378
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 1: you just got to always make sure that you're fucking

379
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 1: like making like if you love this woman, if you're

380
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 1: like obsessed with her, if you're like really into her,

381
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 1: you's got to keep making sure that you're making her

382
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,160
Speaker 1: life easier instead of harder. I mean, you're not gonna

383
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 1: be one hundred percent, right, You're not gonna be You're

384
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,159
Speaker 1: never gonna be one hundred percent. You're not gonna be

385
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 1: like like, there's gonna be some mornings where like fuck

386
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 1: like you can't make the coffee or you you know,

387
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:14,199
Speaker 1: whatever the fuck right, But you should be consistent. But

388
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:18,679
Speaker 1: you should be consistent enough that when your girlfriend thinks

389
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 1: about you, she thinks of you as like across the

390
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 1: board overall, a trustworthy, competent, caring individual. Like that's like

391
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,440
Speaker 1: you're not you're not gonna be perfect, but she should

392
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 1: You should be good enough and like cognizant enough of

393
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 1: whether or not you're serving this other person that she

394
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 1: has a general view of you as a competent human

395
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 1: being who cares about her.

396
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, agreed, And yeah he didn't really excel at doing

397
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 3: that at all. He knew what he provided, which was fun,

398
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 3: and just like he provided.

399
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 1: He knew what he provided, and what he provided was

400
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 1: fun and distraction.

401
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:18,120
Speaker 3: Was that mean, Like when I was going through hard times,

402
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,479
Speaker 3: which was often because I had a lot of deaths

403
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 3: in my family and a lot of family dynamics that

404
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 3: were troubling and sad to me. So like I didn't

405
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,240
Speaker 3: unload on him all the time, but when things happened

406
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 3: and I wanted some support, he wasn't really there.

407
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 6: He he he would be like his his solution was,

408
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 6: I'm going to come up, I'm going to bring a

409
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:55,360
Speaker 6: case of Truly's and We're going to watch ancient aliens

410
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 6: and I'm just going to go down on you and

411
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 6: You're going to forget all about the and like that

412
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 6: was that was his like solution to the problem.

413
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 1: So he wasn't interested in like emotionally engaging with you

414
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:12,200
Speaker 1: about these things going on, But he was like, yo,

415
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 1: I can we can get drunk and I'll go down

416
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 1: on you while ancient Aliens is on in the background.

417
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, all things that I like, you know, and

418
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 3: and he knew that, but he didn't. But he shouldn't

419
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 3: given me that. No, he couldn't give me the deeper level.

420
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:34,960
Speaker 3: And I was always hanging on wanting that. And he

421
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 3: also just like he never initiated. When we did live

422
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 3: in the same city, a frequent argument we had was

423
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 3: I would tell him if it was not for me,

424
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 3: like texting you or calling you, we'd never hang out

425
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 3: because I'd have I'd be like, what are you doing

426
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 3: on Friday? But he had a way of convincing me

427
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 3: that it wasn't.

428
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 2: No.

429
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:11,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it took me a long time. Yeah, it

430
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 3: took me a long time to figure out that what

431
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 3: he was saying, I don't think he meant it felt

432
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 3: like he meant it sometimes when we were together, but

433
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 3: I was like very much out of sight, out of mind,

434
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 3: because yeah, I had to tell him, like right before

435
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 3: this final breakup, something we were working on for the

436
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 3: last year. I was like, I would like for you

437
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 3: to plan something for us to do. I'm always the

438
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 3: one telling you about concerts, asking you if you want

439
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,480
Speaker 3: to go, like to this antique shop. Do you want

440
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 3: to go out to eat? Should be like go to

441
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,959
Speaker 3: a movie, you want to go for a drive. And

442
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 3: he was down to do whatever I wanted and he's like, yeah, sure,

443
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 3: But he never approached me with an idea, and he

444
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 3: was never like what are you doing Friday? I want

445
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,480
Speaker 3: to see you. I would be like, hey, Pete, what

446
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:11,719
Speaker 3: are you doing on Friday? I'd like to see you.

447
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:12,920
Speaker 3: Do you have time to see me?

448
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 1: Dude? It's so I don't know, man, all this shit

449
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 1: is like so easy, you know what I mean? Like

450
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 1: being I feel like being a good boyfriend is like

451
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 1: so it's so straightforward. I'm gonna be honest with you.

452
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 1: I don't I I here's the thing, and I don't

453
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't want to like, uh throw

454
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 1: shit out there, but like.

455
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 2: Do you think.

456
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 1: Do you think it's because he wasn't that into you

457
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 1: or because he was just kind of aloof and stupid?

458
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 3: I really don't know what's I say. I don't know,

459
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 3: but like what's fucked up is? I do know that

460
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 3: he had serious feelings for me, Like I just know

461
00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 3: that he did, but I don't know why he treated

462
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:16,400
Speaker 3: me so badly.

463
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 1: Dude, some people are just like stupid, Like it's just

464
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 1: like being a good boy, Like I really do believe

465
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 1: like when you're like when you're really in I don't

466
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know what it's like. I

467
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:30,160
Speaker 1: don't know what it's like for the guys. But like

468
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 1: if I'm like really into a lady, I just I

469
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 1: like I want to fucking you know, do all this stuff.

470
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 1: But I feel like it's so it's like so easy

471
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,720
Speaker 1: if you really like someone, I think to naturally be

472
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 1: compelled to like initiate wanting to see them, like want

473
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 1: to like make their life better, want to like do

474
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 1: shit for them, want to plan shit, like want to

475
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,960
Speaker 1: make them happy, like want to listen to what they

476
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:06,640
Speaker 1: need and take that feedback in and like actually take

477
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 1: action on it. I mean again again again, You're never

478
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:12,880
Speaker 1: gonna be one hundred percent perfect and you can't be

479
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:17,399
Speaker 1: like on the fucking military guard. Yeah, out of time,

480
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:20,280
Speaker 1: but like across the board in general.

481
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 3: Well, he also he liked to joke that he was

482
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:26,880
Speaker 3: a sociopath.

483
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:32,359
Speaker 1: Oh my god, and this sounds crazy, and I think that.

484
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:38,879
Speaker 3: He actually might be I part of like the performance

485
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:41,880
Speaker 3: I would see him do in front of other people,

486
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:46,759
Speaker 3: like his personality changed, Like I am very authentic. I

487
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 3: can you know if I'm in front of an old person,

488
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 3: I'm not going to swear out of respect, and I'm

489
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 3: not going to do that at work or my boss.

490
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 3: Like I can change my personality that way, but I

491
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:02,239
Speaker 3: am myself, like my true personality doesn't change. And I

492
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:06,399
Speaker 3: would just see his personality change, like in front of

493
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,719
Speaker 3: this person, in front of this person, and then I

494
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 3: was like I think, and I called him on it.

495
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,759
Speaker 3: It's like I think that you are coming to my

496
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:18,680
Speaker 3: house and like playing the person I want you to

497
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:22,239
Speaker 3: be and not great because he still wasn't delivering on

498
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:24,880
Speaker 3: a lot of like emotional needs that I had. But

499
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:28,719
Speaker 3: just like you're playing this little part and then you're

500
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:31,839
Speaker 3: going back home and you're being different and I have

501
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:39,719
Speaker 3: no idea who you're actually seeing, and like, yeah, and

502
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 3: he's got some mother issues as well. I think he

503
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:47,440
Speaker 3: is like mentally unwell whatever that might be.

504
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,400
Speaker 1: Did you say mother issues or other issues?

505
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:58,760
Speaker 3: Oh, mother issues, just very very attached almost like he's

506
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:03,760
Speaker 3: parenting his mother. He's an only child and had older

507
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 3: parents who were like in their late thirties when they

508
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:12,840
Speaker 3: had him. But the dynamic between them now is like

509
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 3: he's the only son, so like every decision they make

510
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 3: has to be made as a family, and we are

511
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:23,320
Speaker 3: a triad. That's something he'd always say, We're a triad.

512
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:24,839
Speaker 3: We all make this end.

513
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 1: A triad is in the the like the triad of you,

514
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 1: him and his mom.

515
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 3: Noh sorry, no, him, his mom and his dad like

516
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:37,000
Speaker 3: their family unit.

517
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,080
Speaker 1: How old is this guy?

518
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 3: He's like right now? Thirty seven? Thirty eight?

519
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:47,799
Speaker 2: Dude? Man?

520
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 1: Wait, okay, yeah, so you've been on in love with

521
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:52,560
Speaker 1: this all right, So you've been on in love with

522
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 1: this guy for ten years? What have you had experiences

523
00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 1: with other people? At all?

524
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:04,360
Speaker 3: Experiences? Yeah, but I never in our off time found

525
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:07,640
Speaker 3: anyone else that I liked to date. So he's the

526
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:10,840
Speaker 3: only person I've dated since I was twenty eight, Like,

527
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:12,520
Speaker 3: been in a relationship with.

528
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:13,880
Speaker 2: You?

529
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 1: Why couldn't you find anyone else that you liked?

530
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:21,760
Speaker 3: I just didn't. It just didn't happen. I did find

531
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,279
Speaker 3: one guy I liked who lived in New Hampshire when

532
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:30,759
Speaker 3: I lived in Maine, but nothing. I don't think he

533
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 3: felt the same way about me, Like it just kind

534
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 3: of fizzled after hanging out a few times, which bummed

535
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:41,279
Speaker 3: me out. But other than that, I just yeah, I

536
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:44,680
Speaker 3: didn't find anyone that I liked and I still haven't.

537
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:50,319
Speaker 3: I well, I have a work crush right now, so

538
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 3: I do have one person, but he is very different.

539
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,719
Speaker 3: He's very very very different.

540
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 1: Of you or from p Why uh, what's the deal

541
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 1: with your work crush?

542
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 3: We just have like a similar taste in music and

543
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 3: a good sense of humor, like good banter. And then

544
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 3: we've also had some like serious or more serious like

545
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 3: conversations where we like can tell that our values aligne.

546
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:29,799
Speaker 3: You know, it's just like a normal healthy crush. Like

547
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,319
Speaker 3: we text sometimes and he'll send me pictures of like

548
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:35,880
Speaker 3: soup that he's making and I was like, wow, that

549
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:40,120
Speaker 3: looks delicious. You're like fucking making a stock. You've got

550
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 3: vegetables boiling. That's amazing.

551
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 1: You know.

552
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 3: So we're just friends, but he's a little crush.

553
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, Why why is it romanding a crush? Why

554
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 1: is romantic interest not been expressed?

555
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 3: Well, up until recently, we worked together. He just got

556
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 3: a new job last week, and I didn't I don't

557
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,880
Speaker 3: want to tell him that I have a crush on

558
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:20,839
Speaker 3: him and then potentially not have a friend and make

559
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 3: it weird because that he is like the first friend

560
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,400
Speaker 3: I've made since moving to Ohio and I've been here

561
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:35,359
Speaker 3: six months. So well, breaking up with Pete was one

562
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:41,400
Speaker 3: reason I was commuting like an hour. I was putting

563
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,920
Speaker 3: it one hundred miles on my car a day driving

564
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:48,920
Speaker 3: to and from work, which wasn't sustainable. And I have family,

565
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:53,360
Speaker 3: like in the Pittsburgh area. I grew up there. I

566
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 3: didn't want to live there again, so I just came

567
00:39:56,520 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 3: to northeast, Ohio for something different and it's more affordable. Yeah,

568
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:10,920
Speaker 3: and it's great here, like culturally, there's a lot to

569
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 3: do and I'm having fun. But yeah, the dating is

570
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 3: something else.

571
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:25,279
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, I don't know. I think you should give

572
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 1: the Mama guy a try, give him a chance.

573
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:37,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, oh the mom Why the Mama guy?

574
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:38,440
Speaker 2: I don't know.

575
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 1: He seems creative.

576
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:46,160
Speaker 3: I cut it off with him hardcore. He was a

577
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:46,960
Speaker 3: love bomber.

578
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 1: Okay, what does what does that mean? A love bomber?

579
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 3: I can give you examples as to what he was

580
00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 3: doing that should explain what love bombing is. Yeah, go ahead, Okay,

581
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:06,399
Speaker 3: So this was our first date. He actually lives two

582
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 3: hours away, but was up in my area for Christmas

583
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:12,360
Speaker 3: for a week, so we talked on the phone a

584
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:19,600
Speaker 3: couple times, texted, you know. He made us dinner reservations.

585
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:22,879
Speaker 3: We went to a bar. He then invited himself over

586
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:26,080
Speaker 3: to my house, which I should have said no, but

587
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:28,360
Speaker 3: we were drinking, so of course I felt like it

588
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:33,880
Speaker 3: was my responsibility. Once he says, I've had a few drinks, okay,

589
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 3: you weaseled your way into my apartment. But when he

590
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 3: was here, like he wanted to. He was like tracing

591
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:49,399
Speaker 3: the shapes on my back very gently with like one fingertip.

592
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,239
Speaker 3: We were like watching TV, and he wanted me like

593
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 3: in between his legs on the sofa, and he was

594
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 3: just like I could do this all night. I could

595
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:03,440
Speaker 3: do this all night with you, just gently like making

596
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 3: little snake shapes and circles. And then he like had

597
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:10,719
Speaker 3: his hand in my hair and was like playing with

598
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:14,759
Speaker 3: my bobby pins and just like being very gentle and

599
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:21,799
Speaker 3: like what the fuck And he said he was like,

600
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:26,400
Speaker 3: I think every crevice of your body should be worshiped.

601
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:32,480
Speaker 3: And then like he ended up spending the night and

602
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,479
Speaker 3: then in the morning like was like come here and

603
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,239
Speaker 3: sit down. He wanted me to sit on his lap,

604
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:44,960
Speaker 3: and he held me like awkwardly, like like a child.

605
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:52,839
Speaker 3: It was like sitting on Sanna's lap like and he

606
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,359
Speaker 3: just told me, like, you know, I had a lot

607
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:58,840
Speaker 3: of fun, And I'm thinking, I have a work trip

608
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:01,200
Speaker 3: coming up in Detroit. Are'm going to be there for

609
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:03,400
Speaker 3: five days, and you like a little road trip, you

610
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:06,279
Speaker 3: should come with me. I come up here and see

611
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 3: you again, like this is our first date. Like that's

612
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:11,319
Speaker 3: a lot here.

613
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 1: Let me all right, so let me here's the thing.

614
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:23,879
Speaker 1: Do you do? You take a bong rip? Yeah, that's

615
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:27,319
Speaker 1: that's crazy to clock that in the background. I mean,

616
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 1: do what you like. But uh, what the fuck is

617
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:35,320
Speaker 1: I gonna say? I don't think there's inherently anything wrong

618
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:39,000
Speaker 1: with the way that this guy is like trying to

619
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 1: conduct this thing. But it's clearly not your style, or

620
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:48,320
Speaker 1: at least it's not your style with this guy. Because

621
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:51,719
Speaker 1: some people like like the I think the way that like,

622
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:56,800
Speaker 1: So I don't think that that like because he's the

623
00:43:56,880 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 1: thing like, uh for this, like, I think he's just

624
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:04,480
Speaker 1: to show you where like his brain is at is.

625
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:07,120
Speaker 1: He's like he finds, you know, how you said, you

626
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:08,400
Speaker 1: want a guy who's like obsessed with you.

627
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:14,239
Speaker 5: Mm hmm, Okay, here's the thing.

628
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 1: I think, if you're gonna find a guy who's obsessed

629
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:20,640
Speaker 1: with you, like, I don't know. I don't want to

630
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:23,399
Speaker 1: speak for I don't want to speak for everyone, right

631
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 1: because there's a lot of I there's a lot of like, uh,

632
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:31,640
Speaker 1: for example, I'm the kind of guy where like I

633
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 1: know if I'm really attracted to someone, like immediately, like

634
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 1: I can tell within like two minutes if I'm like

635
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:42,399
Speaker 1: really attracted to someone. And then I have friends who

636
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:46,920
Speaker 1: are a little bit more slow burners, and they're like,

637
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:51,360
Speaker 1: let me see how this plays out, be cautious, me whatever.

638
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:53,719
Speaker 1: And I I don't know if that's like a man

639
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:57,359
Speaker 1: woman thing, because I think that I think the same

640
00:44:57,400 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 1: thing is is true with women, where I like, you know,

641
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:03,600
Speaker 1: a lot of not most women are probably like slow burners,

642
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:06,080
Speaker 1: but there's also some women who are like, yo, I

643
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:08,880
Speaker 1: think this guy's like super hot and cool. I would

644
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 1: love to let's, you know, throw a caution in the wind.

645
00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 1: He seems chill enough, Let's fucking go on this business

646
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:17,160
Speaker 1: trip with him. And then they just like from the start,

647
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 1: you know, get it going but you're you've identified at

648
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 1: least like, is this an across the board thing where

649
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:29,160
Speaker 1: you're like, I want to I'm a slow burner? Or

650
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,160
Speaker 1: do you see do you think that there's a kind

651
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 1: of guy like were you were you just not attracted

652
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 1: enough to this guy where you are like I want

653
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:42,440
Speaker 1: to I'm down to run it, or are you like no,

654
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure I know that about myself after thirty

655
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:49,840
Speaker 1: nine years, that I'm a slow burn kind of lady.

656
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:55,040
Speaker 3: I am a slow burn If I like someone, I might.

657
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 1: I have.

658
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 3: It's not a condition. It's something that you do. I

659
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:08,320
Speaker 3: think it's called limmeren. Yeah, where you automatically just start

660
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:12,840
Speaker 3: fantasizing about like, oh my god, I can see us married,

661
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:16,319
Speaker 3: I can see us like going to home depot. I

662
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:19,399
Speaker 3: do that, but I don't show it because I'm like, girl,

663
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:23,320
Speaker 3: that's crazy, Like you don't really know this person.

664
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:27,480
Speaker 1: No, no, but if but if you meet someone for

665
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 1: the first time and you feel that like, okay, this guy,

666
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:34,359
Speaker 1: clearly this guy was ready to rock. The guy who's

667
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 1: drawing shapes on your back and shit, this guy's ready

668
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:40,719
Speaker 1: to fucking rock, right, And if you happened to feel that,

669
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 1: I don't think you liked this guy particularly that much.

670
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:47,160
Speaker 1: But if you happened to feel a sense of limerens

671
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:49,560
Speaker 1: with this guy and you showed it and you were

672
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 1: ready to rock. Look, a lot of relationships like that,

673
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 1: they fucking crash and burn as fast as they began, right,

674
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:00,520
Speaker 1: But then it's a lot. But then a lot of

675
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:02,640
Speaker 1: relationships are the complete fucking opposite. There's a lot of

676
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 1: relationships that are not slowburns that they're just like, are

677
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 1: two people who just developed this like immediate limerens for

678
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 1: each other that like doesn't go away?

679
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:19,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I I think it's possible. I think it's you know,

680
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 3: if I feel I just like I with him, I

681
00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:26,520
Speaker 3: knew like there were red flags. I was like, ugh,

682
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 3: there's things about you that I really don't like. After

683
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:35,320
Speaker 3: just spending like six hours with you.

684
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:37,560
Speaker 1: Tell me, tell me what those things were. I'm curious.

685
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 1: I feel like this is good. I feel like this

686
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 1: is a good conversation. I feel like we're learning a

687
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:46,319
Speaker 1: lot here. I feel like the audience is getting a

688
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:51,799
Speaker 1: good uh idea of like what's attractive what's not.

689
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:59,319
Speaker 3: Yeah. I hope so because all this, Yeah, I hope

690
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:04,240
Speaker 3: it helps somebody. God, I the one thing that really

691
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 3: pissed me off.

692
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:07,520
Speaker 2: Is he.

693
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:13,080
Speaker 3: His dog isn't fixed? Number one?

694
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:18,239
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, that's a little too specific.

695
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:25,239
Speaker 3: There's there's more to this, something else that ties into that.

696
00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:29,040
Speaker 3: But he sent me a picture of his dog when

697
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:31,840
Speaker 3: we were texting, and oh, I just happened to notice,

698
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:32,440
Speaker 3: like the.

699
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:40,920
Speaker 1: Ball dog's dick is too big. Oh wait, why does that? What?

700
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 1: What that's that's I have to say, that's one of

701
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:47,319
Speaker 1: actually the more wild ix that I've heard. Why what

702
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:49,920
Speaker 1: is But I'll hear you out on anything. What is

703
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:52,840
Speaker 1: it about this guy's dog not being fixed? What is

704
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:55,520
Speaker 1: that signal to you about him that's so unattractive?

705
00:48:57,360 --> 00:49:01,520
Speaker 3: Well, there's no reason and to not fix your dog,

706
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 3: like be responsible. It's you know, it's better for them.

707
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 3: They're not going to accidentally get another girl pregnant like

708
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:15,280
Speaker 3: and create puppies that need homes. And also he told

709
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:19,880
Speaker 3: me during their very expensive dinner at a nice restaurant

710
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:28,080
Speaker 3: that his dog killed his roommate's dog and that's why

711
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:31,040
Speaker 3: he's not allowed to have his dog where he lives anymore.

712
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 3: The ant has to watch his dog, and the dog's

713
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 3: not fucking fixed. So maybe if the dog was fixed,

714
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:39,520
Speaker 3: your roommate's dog would still be alive.

715
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:42,279
Speaker 1: What does that have to do with the fancinness of

716
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:42,960
Speaker 1: the restaurant.

717
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 3: It was just like crude conversation for the setting that

718
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:50,040
Speaker 3: we were in.

719
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:55,520
Speaker 1: You're clearly not into at all, and I don't ironic,

720
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:58,480
Speaker 1: hold on, give me something else, though, I feel like

721
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:01,840
Speaker 1: this is this is just like a Pheromone thing, because

722
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:05,000
Speaker 1: there's no fucking way it's the dog. You just clearly

723
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 1: just didn't like these des No, he didn't like this

724
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 1: this guy.

725
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 3: This guy has a vasectomy, and so I thought it

726
00:50:14,239 --> 00:50:17,440
Speaker 3: was very ironic that he's.

727
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 1: He's give me something else. Gotta be there's no way

728
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:24,480
Speaker 1: you just don't like this guy because his dog's not fixed.

729
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 3: No, he also like insinuated that he gets like kind

730
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:37,400
Speaker 3: of wild when he drinks, or he's like, oh, like

731
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 3: you'll find out what that's like because I made a comment.

732
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 3: We had a few drinks with the restaurants and we went

733
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:45,759
Speaker 3: to a bar and he got a beer in a

734
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:47,640
Speaker 3: shot and I was like, oh, you're having a shot,

735
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:55,320
Speaker 3: And so it was like a red flag that he's

736
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 3: like gonna probably change personalities when he drinks or had

737
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:03,239
Speaker 3: maybe he has a little bit of a drinking problem.

738
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:08,480
Speaker 3: He also wanted to like get up during the middle

739
00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:12,840
Speaker 3: of our nice meal and have a cigarette, and it

740
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:16,000
Speaker 3: was just kind of like, yeah, you do that when

741
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:18,919
Speaker 3: you go to a dive bar or to like Applebee's

742
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:20,960
Speaker 3: and you're waiting for your food to come out. But like,

743
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:28,880
Speaker 3: we had an appetizer and before our meals came, he's like,

744
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,319
Speaker 3: do you want to go have a smoke? And it

745
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:32,839
Speaker 3: was a weird I think you had to be as

746
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:34,640
Speaker 3: a place to really get it, but it's not the

747
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:36,960
Speaker 3: kind of establishment you do that. But I joined him

748
00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:37,759
Speaker 3: in and I thought it.

749
00:51:39,239 --> 00:51:41,920
Speaker 1: I feel bad for the fact. You know, first of all,

750
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 1: I don't think people. I don't think people choose necessarily

751
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:50,359
Speaker 1: what they're attracted to and the ways in which they

752
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 1: feel attraction. It's like they just naturally developed them. So

753
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:56,359
Speaker 1: I feel bad for you at the fact that you're

754
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:58,880
Speaker 1: a slow burner, because it's not an easy world for

755
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 1: a slow burner. It's really not an easy world for

756
00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 1: a slow burner because, uh, the you'll get into a

757
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:13,360
Speaker 1: relationship faster if you're the opposite of a slow burner.

758
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 1: You find a guy, uh, irresistibly attractive, but you notice

759
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:21,880
Speaker 1: his dog isn't fixed, and that he goes out for

760
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:23,800
Speaker 1: a cigarette and you just are like, oh, I'm just

761
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:27,160
Speaker 1: attracted to this guy. I'll just ignore that stuff versus

762
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 1: because at some point you have to ignore stuff, not

763
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:33,520
Speaker 1: ignore stuff, but but kind of but kind of ignore stuff.

764
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:36,480
Speaker 1: But if you're a slow burner, like when you're trying

765
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:38,320
Speaker 1: to when you're like dating and you're getting a relationship,

766
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:40,680
Speaker 1: like like, things are always like you're there's always gonna

767
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:43,200
Speaker 1: be things that are thrown at you that you're like, oh,

768
00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:45,880
Speaker 1: that's a little weird. I don't know if I and

769
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:48,399
Speaker 1: it's and there's never gonna be any relationship or any

770
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:52,440
Speaker 1: person that you're you don't feel those things. But if

771
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:55,879
Speaker 1: you're a it's way easier. It's way easier if you're

772
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,399
Speaker 1: like a Limerens person to be like, oh, well I'll

773
00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 1: figure that out later. Who gives a shit and figure

774
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:02,759
Speaker 1: that and then actually figure that later. Then if you're

775
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 1: a slow burner, all of those things are gonna be

776
00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 1: reasons to back out. But it's tough if you're a

777
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:13,880
Speaker 1: slow burner because, uh, you it takes a bit of

778
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 1: time to figure someone out. But also but also how

779
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 1: I don't know if a slow burner is really like,

780
00:53:25,320 --> 00:53:30,759
Speaker 1: you know, you know, if you can see something in

781
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 1: this person, you you can if you're a slow burner,

782
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:34,920
Speaker 1: I feel like you can know at least like, at

783
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:37,719
Speaker 1: the end of a time seeing someone, do I want

784
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:40,080
Speaker 1: to see them again? Am I open to seeing them again?

785
00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:44,960
Speaker 1: I feel like there's there's legitimate knowledge in that gut feeling,

786
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:45,959
Speaker 1: you know.

787
00:53:46,239 --> 00:53:50,319
Speaker 3: There is, Yeah, And there's different levels of X if

788
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:53,200
Speaker 3: you will like the things he did that I didn't

789
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:59,080
Speaker 3: like the cigarette, the dog. Like on someone else, it

790
00:53:59,080 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 3: wouldn't have been to a big deal, but it was

791
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 3: totally a Pheromone thing. We were just not vibing.

792
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:07,759
Speaker 1: Okay, So I saw I was right. It was just

793
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:09,759
Speaker 1: you just kind of didn't. You just weren't into them.

794
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 3: No, I wanted to be, which is why I decided

795
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:16,319
Speaker 3: to have sex with them. It's like, maybe this will

796
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:19,760
Speaker 3: be really good. Yeah, but that.

797
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:24,640
Speaker 1: Was that was O mama, No, that's the old mama guy.

798
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:30,520
Speaker 1: Oh I forgot that this was the right that sucks.

799
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:34,239
Speaker 1: That's so funny. That's so funny that you didn't like

800
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:37,400
Speaker 1: this guy. You were like, Okay, maybe maybe if I

801
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:41,080
Speaker 1: have sex with him, maybe that'll unlock something that you know,

802
00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:43,680
Speaker 1: maybe I didn't see before and then it and then

803
00:54:43,719 --> 00:54:48,480
Speaker 1: something happens that that is like the worst thing of

804
00:54:48,520 --> 00:54:50,919
Speaker 1: all the other things that you thought that having sex

805
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:58,240
Speaker 1: could distract you from. That just sucks. It's very funny. Yeah,

806
00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:00,080
Speaker 1: this is very funny.

807
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:04,440
Speaker 3: And I did like. There was another guy who I

808
00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:07,279
Speaker 3: went out was three times. He was the first guy

809
00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:11,319
Speaker 3: I matched with when I moved here, and I you know,

810
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:15,239
Speaker 3: I hated the way that he laughed. I hated the

811
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:18,440
Speaker 3: way he pushed up his glasses like a typical dork

812
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:22,239
Speaker 3: with one finger at the nose bridge. He'd like push

813
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 3: them up and laugh at the same time. We hung

814
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:28,839
Speaker 3: out three times. He ate hot dogs two out of

815
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:32,400
Speaker 3: those three times, and I was like, dude, this is crazy.

816
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:36,000
Speaker 3: I can't with this, but but maybe I'll like him.

817
00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:39,880
Speaker 3: He's kind of sweet, like I feel like he likes me.

818
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:43,239
Speaker 3: Maybe I just need more time. And then he was

819
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:48,799
Speaker 3: the ones that ghosted me. So you just it's I've learned,

820
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:51,720
Speaker 3: it's just not worth it.

821
00:55:51,719 --> 00:55:56,960
Speaker 1: It's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. There. What's

822
00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:03,880
Speaker 1: your name again? Yeah, Alicia, Yeah, either of all of them,

823
00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:05,120
Speaker 1: they all work. Alicia.

824
00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:08,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, Alicia.

825
00:56:10,760 --> 00:56:14,239
Speaker 1: Well, Alicia, thanks for sharing your stories with us. I

826
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:18,560
Speaker 1: hope you find, uh, whatever it is you're looking for

827
00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:20,280
Speaker 1: in this crazy world.

828
00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:27,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, a guy who wants to get freaky sometimes and

829
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:30,000
Speaker 3: just like is obsessed with me and wants to hang

830
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:30,800
Speaker 3: out all the time.

831
00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:37,840
Speaker 1: That's much that you also like, Oh yeah, that's the caveat. No,

832
00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:40,040
Speaker 1: you could find what you just said tomorrow, but.

833
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:45,760
Speaker 2: It acuity.

834
00:56:46,040 --> 00:56:48,000
Speaker 3: A lover boy, a smart boy.

835
00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:51,320
Speaker 1: Alicia, is there anything else you want to say to

836
00:56:51,320 --> 00:56:52,640
Speaker 1: the people of the computer before we go?

837
00:56:57,520 --> 00:57:00,360
Speaker 3: I do have one thing to say, and that is, oh, I'm.

838
00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:03,759
Speaker 1: Beautiful, Thank you.

839
00:57:05,440 --> 00:57:05,880
Speaker 3: Thanks.

840
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:12,760
Speaker 1: I hope that conversation was I guess educational to someone.

841
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:17,600
Speaker 1: You gotta have things that you're willing to put up with.

842
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:19,920
Speaker 1: But again, I feel bad for the slow burners because

843
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:25,280
Speaker 1: they really being a slow burner's tough, because you really

844
00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:30,120
Speaker 1: feel like you're in a lot of situations where you're like, hmm,

845
00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:34,640
Speaker 1: I you're in a lot of situations you're like, I

846
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:39,280
Speaker 1: could try to like this person, But does that ever work?

847
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 1: Does that ever work? Chat? I'm curious, let me know

848
00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:46,280
Speaker 1: all the comments if that ever works. If you if

849
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:49,600
Speaker 1: you're someone, if you're in a relationship with someone who

850
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:54,080
Speaker 1: you didn't like initially and then you started to like them.

851
00:57:54,520 --> 00:58:01,480
Speaker 1: I know those stories exist. I've never experienced that personally.

852
00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:04,320
Speaker 1: I feel like I can tell if I'm obsessed with

853
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:12,120
Speaker 1: someone pretty immediately. But the slow burners exist, you know,

854
00:58:12,520 --> 00:58:15,640
Speaker 1: and they figure it out.

855
00:58:16,840 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 2: Hello, Hey, how's it going? Is this thing live at all?

856
00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:22,160
Speaker 2: Or is this like the rundown? Let's read?

857
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:29,520
Speaker 1: What's the read? Well, the read is that we are

858
00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:32,720
Speaker 1: on the phone together. I mean, it's not live. I

859
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:39,560
Speaker 1: don't stream on twitch as much anymore. Okay, but I

860
00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:42,880
Speaker 1: might start again at some point, but for now, I'm

861
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:47,720
Speaker 1: kind of taking a break and just recording the podcast offline.

862
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:50,280
Speaker 1: I feel like it's it's just a little bit more chill.

863
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:55,560
Speaker 1: I feel like it helps me control the pacing of

864
00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:58,440
Speaker 1: things and makes it more intimate and for me and

865
00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:01,360
Speaker 1: just easier. It's just a little bit easier for me

866
00:59:01,440 --> 00:59:05,040
Speaker 1: to do it offline than online, you know what I mean?

867
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:06,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I totally get that.

868
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:10,560
Speaker 1: But this is a thing that I am recording for

869
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:16,120
Speaker 1: the purposes of putting on the internet. So that is the.

870
00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:18,760
Speaker 2: Drop the legal disclaimer in there. I respect it.

871
00:59:19,320 --> 00:59:22,840
Speaker 1: That is the skinny. No, I never dropped the legal disclaimers.

872
00:59:23,440 --> 00:59:26,440
Speaker 1: I put myself at risk or I don't think I

873
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:29,840
Speaker 1: believe nobody cares, Dude, nobody cares. That's nobody cares about

874
00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:33,520
Speaker 1: me enough to like it just doesn't matter, you know.

875
00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:35,720
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if I have reverses for you, buddy,

876
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:37,720
Speaker 2: but I care. Dude.

877
00:59:37,720 --> 00:59:38,280
Speaker 1: What's your name?

878
00:59:38,400 --> 00:59:38,480
Speaker 3: No?

879
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:43,200
Speaker 1: Reese, Reese? You're your sweet soul Reese. Have we ever

880
00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:43,920
Speaker 1: spoken before?

881
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 2: Uh? No? Long time listener, first time caller.

882
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:50,520
Speaker 1: Man, amazing, amazing. I love it. I'm so happy. I

883
00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:52,560
Speaker 1: genuinely I am so happy that I've been doing this

884
00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:57,440
Speaker 1: for almost six years and we're still getting to talk

885
00:59:57,640 --> 00:59:58,400
Speaker 1: to new people.

886
00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:02,280
Speaker 2: So I I think the first episode of Yours that

887
01:00:02,360 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 2: I saw I was fucking around in like sophomore year

888
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:08,080
Speaker 2: English in high school. Now I'm like a freshly twenty

889
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:12,160
Speaker 2: one year old, like adult, very nice time five man.

890
01:00:13,240 --> 01:00:16,320
Speaker 1: So, Reese, what's going on with you?

891
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:16,480
Speaker 2: Man?

892
01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:18,080
Speaker 1: What made you want to call my Gecko show?

893
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:24,680
Speaker 2: So I'll give you the reading. I'm not too happy

894
01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:27,320
Speaker 2: with life in general. I feel like the world has

895
01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:30,000
Speaker 2: kind of lost its wonder for me, and like I've

896
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:31,320
Speaker 2: just been trying to figure out a way to get

897
01:00:31,320 --> 01:00:34,320
Speaker 2: it back. Life's just kind of hard right now. Man.

898
01:00:34,920 --> 01:00:39,400
Speaker 1: Mmmmm, Okay, So the world lost its wonder for you,

899
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:42,160
Speaker 1: which means that at one point it had wonder. And

900
01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:43,720
Speaker 1: when was that point?

901
01:00:47,440 --> 01:00:50,120
Speaker 2: Probably when I was about eighteen. I moved out of

902
01:00:50,120 --> 01:00:52,920
Speaker 2: the house, moved right to Brooklyn Sunset Park if you

903
01:00:52,960 --> 01:00:57,200
Speaker 2: know it, yep. And then I ended up traveling all

904
01:00:57,240 --> 01:01:01,760
Speaker 2: over the Western United States doing volunteer trip And ever

905
01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:04,919
Speaker 2: since I finished up with that, man, life just kind

906
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 2: of feels mundane and like every day is the exact

907
01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:08,960
Speaker 2: same m.

908
01:01:11,120 --> 01:01:15,640
Speaker 1: And what is this day that it's the same every day?

909
01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:16,720
Speaker 1: What does that day look like?

910
01:01:18,160 --> 01:01:20,360
Speaker 2: I feel like I got like, wake up, eat some food,

911
01:01:20,560 --> 01:01:23,800
Speaker 2: get a good work out in, go to work, play

912
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:28,480
Speaker 2: video games. Repeats. There's not much going on for me socially,

913
01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:31,720
Speaker 2: and yeah, I mean maybe it's because I decided to

914
01:01:31,720 --> 01:01:34,960
Speaker 2: move to a different city recently, but just things are

915
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:35,560
Speaker 2: tough out of here.

916
01:01:35,600 --> 01:01:37,160
Speaker 1: Man, what city you in?

917
01:01:38,680 --> 01:01:40,480
Speaker 2: I just moved to Seattle a couple months ago.

918
01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:45,720
Speaker 1: All right, So when you were eighteen, you were running around,

919
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:48,280
Speaker 1: you were doing volunteer work. Your life felt like it

920
01:01:48,360 --> 01:01:51,000
Speaker 1: had some color to it. What do you do for.

921
01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:57,680
Speaker 2: Work right now? I do private security, Okay, I basically

922
01:01:57,720 --> 01:01:59,160
Speaker 2: hold the door for a bunch of rich people.

923
01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:02,600
Speaker 1: It's great it doesn't sound great. It sounds like it's

924
01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:03,400
Speaker 1: making you miserable.

925
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:06,920
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it makes me completely miserable. But I'm uh,

926
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:10,600
Speaker 2: I'm having a hard time breaking in industries that I

927
01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:12,840
Speaker 2: feel like would be more serving for people.

928
01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:14,920
Speaker 1: You know, what are those industries?

929
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:20,240
Speaker 2: Honestly a lot of like nonprofit management stuff. Like I

930
01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:22,440
Speaker 2: when I was nineteen, I was cleaning up after wildfires

931
01:02:22,440 --> 01:02:25,840
Speaker 2: and helping real families in California, and like that felt

932
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:28,640
Speaker 2: meaningful and like I still felt like life had a

933
01:02:28,680 --> 01:02:30,640
Speaker 2: purpose and shit, and it wasn't so great all the time.

934
01:02:30,680 --> 01:02:34,080
Speaker 2: But now it's kind of just like rough. You know.

935
01:02:35,520 --> 01:02:40,640
Speaker 1: What is preventing you from doing things that resemble.

936
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 2: That the American dream? Brother? It's money. It's all about money.

937
01:02:47,840 --> 01:02:53,959
Speaker 1: Yeah sure, okay, yeah, what well, let's get into this here.

938
01:02:54,520 --> 01:03:00,240
Speaker 1: So you can't find a job like that that pays.

939
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:04,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's that's the big issue. Is finding

940
01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:07,840
Speaker 2: a job that helps people in a way that doesn't

941
01:03:08,200 --> 01:03:12,000
Speaker 2: gain shareholder value is a unique issue for me.

942
01:03:14,080 --> 01:03:20,880
Speaker 1: M And what's your nut looking like? What's your nut

943
01:03:20,880 --> 01:03:21,360
Speaker 1: looking like?

944
01:03:21,440 --> 01:03:21,520
Speaker 2: What?

945
01:03:22,280 --> 01:03:24,720
Speaker 1: How much money does it cost for you to exist?

946
01:03:27,200 --> 01:03:28,960
Speaker 2: A couple grand a month? I mean, I got like

947
01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:31,480
Speaker 2: a nice one bedroom apartment. I mean nice as a stretch.

948
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:33,360
Speaker 2: If there were section eighth, then it's like a section

949
01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:37,440
Speaker 2: seven type deal, but like a nice one bedroom. I

950
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:38,960
Speaker 2: guess it's like thirteen hundred.

951
01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:42,200
Speaker 1: A month, kay, and then what's say the seven are

952
01:03:42,240 --> 01:03:42,840
Speaker 1: going towards?

953
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:46,600
Speaker 2: Honestly, I mean I make a bit more than that.

954
01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:48,600
Speaker 2: I make about six grand a month, and like now

955
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:51,920
Speaker 2: it's all going basically into my savings and retirement and stuff.

956
01:03:52,880 --> 01:03:56,520
Speaker 1: Cool. Okay, six grand a month is pretty damn good.

957
01:03:56,920 --> 01:03:57,680
Speaker 1: That's good money.

958
01:03:57,840 --> 01:03:58,440
Speaker 2: Yeah.

959
01:03:58,600 --> 01:04:00,200
Speaker 1: How often does a security.

960
01:03:59,800 --> 01:04:03,360
Speaker 2: Get I do about six days a week.

961
01:04:04,360 --> 01:04:05,760
Speaker 1: Six days a week. That's tough.

962
01:04:06,800 --> 01:04:08,680
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm calling it Dave Ramsey right now.

963
01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:11,160
Speaker 2: I probably should have bitch more about my problems. Dude.

964
01:04:11,160 --> 01:04:13,840
Speaker 1: Sometimes I feel like I'm fucking Dave Ramsey. Sometimes, like

965
01:04:13,840 --> 01:04:15,720
Speaker 1: when we want to talk to me about this kind

966
01:04:15,760 --> 01:04:18,320
Speaker 1: of shit, I feel like I'm but like I don't know.

967
01:04:18,360 --> 01:04:20,880
Speaker 1: I don't have any business trying to talk like Dave Ramsey.

968
01:04:20,960 --> 01:04:22,600
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, dude, if you if you want the

969
01:04:22,640 --> 01:04:25,400
Speaker 2: sound bite I had go from break up with me, childhood,

970
01:04:25,440 --> 01:04:27,480
Speaker 2: dog guy and Grandma all the month and a half,

971
01:04:27,600 --> 01:04:29,440
Speaker 2: I can. I can run it back for you if you.

972
01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:32,640
Speaker 1: Want, well, no, Well, the reason why I get all

973
01:04:32,720 --> 01:04:35,240
Speaker 1: Dave Ramsey is well, the reason why I get all

974
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:44,360
Speaker 1: Dave Ramsey is because, like, I won't deny the logistical

975
01:04:44,800 --> 01:04:51,200
Speaker 1: significance of money in all of life's lightiness. Yeah, and

976
01:04:51,320 --> 01:04:56,040
Speaker 1: like the logistical hurdle of it. But I also don't

977
01:04:56,120 --> 01:05:00,760
Speaker 1: think it's like entirely impossible to like f shit, you

978
01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:04,760
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I feel like, in general, if

979
01:05:04,800 --> 01:05:09,120
Speaker 1: you want to like figure something out, like I believe

980
01:05:09,120 --> 01:05:12,040
Speaker 1: strongly in in like, if there's a will, there's a

981
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:16,160
Speaker 1: way kind of shit, you know, Like, well, Dave Ramsey,

982
01:05:17,880 --> 01:05:20,120
Speaker 1: but yeah, six grand a month is pretty good.

983
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:25,080
Speaker 2: What.

984
01:05:27,800 --> 01:05:30,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, you've what's been happening when you try to look

985
01:05:30,280 --> 01:05:32,280
Speaker 1: for other jobs?

986
01:05:32,800 --> 01:05:36,560
Speaker 2: Uh? I mean the economy sucks, that's that's a big

987
01:05:36,880 --> 01:05:39,920
Speaker 2: right now. But mostly it's just you need a college

988
01:05:39,960 --> 01:05:42,880
Speaker 2: degree to help people, Yeah, which is the weirdest thing

989
01:05:42,880 --> 01:05:45,720
Speaker 2: to me. I mean, I did a year volunteer work

990
01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:49,400
Speaker 2: through a government program, and I guess it costs a

991
01:05:49,440 --> 01:05:50,920
Speaker 2: shits some of money to train up a bunch of

992
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:54,360
Speaker 2: idiots to help out in random ways. So companies don't

993
01:05:54,360 --> 01:05:57,840
Speaker 2: see like a big like they don't see the investment

994
01:05:58,280 --> 01:06:02,800
Speaker 2: reason for it, you know, mm hmm, Like why take

995
01:06:02,840 --> 01:06:04,840
Speaker 2: on like an underqualified twenty one year old and you

996
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:08,560
Speaker 2: can get somebody with like a bachelor's in public policy

997
01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:10,000
Speaker 2: or something helping out homeless people.

998
01:06:10,760 --> 01:06:14,360
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm mm hm hmmmm.

999
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:23,200
Speaker 2: Mmm. But like I said, man, if you're looking for better, ammo,

1000
01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:25,040
Speaker 2: here I can bring up the dead grandma.

1001
01:06:27,280 --> 01:06:29,200
Speaker 1: Dude, whatever you want to talk about, man, I don't

1002
01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:31,240
Speaker 1: give it. Whatever, whatever you want to, whatever you want

1003
01:06:31,280 --> 01:06:31,720
Speaker 1: to get into.

1004
01:06:31,880 --> 01:06:35,880
Speaker 2: Man, I feel like that's that's probably contributing factors. I

1005
01:06:35,960 --> 01:06:39,880
Speaker 2: had a real rough fall. Is just a big it's

1006
01:06:39,880 --> 01:06:41,440
Speaker 2: probably a big factor as to why I feel so

1007
01:06:41,520 --> 01:06:44,280
Speaker 2: shitty now. Mm hmmm mm hmm.

1008
01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:48,880
Speaker 1: Uh dead grandma, he said, dead grandma.

1009
01:06:49,760 --> 01:06:53,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, dead grandma, dead child's a dog and girlfriend dump

1010
01:06:53,120 --> 01:06:54,080
Speaker 2: me all a month and a half.

1011
01:06:54,480 --> 01:06:55,680
Speaker 1: Why did your girlfriend dump you?

1012
01:06:57,080 --> 01:07:00,440
Speaker 2: Uh, I'm not too sure. Actually you haven't really spoken

1013
01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:02,480
Speaker 2: since she just let me know. It was awaken one

1014
01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:03,760
Speaker 2: day and headed out.

1015
01:07:04,520 --> 01:07:05,600
Speaker 1: How long were you with her?

1016
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:07,880
Speaker 2: About nine months?

1017
01:07:08,720 --> 01:07:12,120
Speaker 1: Nine months? And how long? How long is this?

1018
01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:18,160
Speaker 2: This is in October, so it's been it's been a minute. Well,

1019
01:07:18,160 --> 01:07:21,680
Speaker 2: I actually no, this was I think early September, a

1020
01:07:21,720 --> 01:07:22,320
Speaker 2: couple of months.

1021
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:28,680
Speaker 1: Any idea as to why, any any idea whatsoever as

1022
01:07:28,760 --> 01:07:30,840
Speaker 1: to why you think it might not have worked out.

1023
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:35,840
Speaker 2: I feel like we were just incompatible with the ways

1024
01:07:35,840 --> 01:07:37,480
Speaker 2: that we wanted to live our lives, even though that

1025
01:07:38,120 --> 01:07:40,600
Speaker 2: she was a lot more mature than the average twenty

1026
01:07:40,680 --> 01:07:43,800
Speaker 2: year old relationship, you know, but I don't know. She

1027
01:07:43,920 --> 01:07:47,439
Speaker 2: felt more materialistic about some things. I was more I guess,

1028
01:07:47,520 --> 01:07:49,760
Speaker 2: like chill would not owning your shit ton of stuff,

1029
01:07:49,880 --> 01:07:51,840
Speaker 2: Like I don't have a car. She thought I should

1030
01:07:51,880 --> 01:07:54,440
Speaker 2: own a car. I didn't believe in spending like a

1031
01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:56,400
Speaker 2: ton of money on fancy bullshit, and she was a

1032
01:07:56,440 --> 01:07:59,360
Speaker 2: big fan of that. So just different priorities, I guess,

1033
01:07:59,400 --> 01:08:00,520
Speaker 2: and like a world sense.

1034
01:08:01,320 --> 01:08:04,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, that's I think that's pretty legitimate. That's a

1035
01:08:04,080 --> 01:08:05,920
Speaker 1: good thing. I mean, that's a good thing to get

1036
01:08:05,960 --> 01:08:09,240
Speaker 1: out of the way, like now after nine months. Yeah, no,

1037
01:08:09,400 --> 01:08:13,240
Speaker 1: that's good. That could have that could have been way worse.

1038
01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:15,160
Speaker 2: Oh definitely.

1039
01:08:16,160 --> 01:08:18,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, So you're chilling on that front, dude. I think that. Uh,

1040
01:08:19,840 --> 01:08:21,719
Speaker 1: I think that's good because yeah, you could have gotten,

1041
01:08:22,040 --> 01:08:23,920
Speaker 1: you know, fucking deeper into that ship and it just

1042
01:08:23,920 --> 01:08:24,719
Speaker 1: would have been a mess.

1043
01:08:27,280 --> 01:08:29,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I couldn't imagine like two years down

1044
01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:31,439
Speaker 2: the line, You're like, hey, I'm trying to buy you

1045
01:08:31,479 --> 01:08:33,559
Speaker 2: a ring. What's up? And then she's like I want

1046
01:08:33,600 --> 01:08:36,880
Speaker 2: the child blood like blood diamonds from like Congo or

1047
01:08:36,880 --> 01:08:39,560
Speaker 2: whatever like that. Yeah, yeah, that would that would bother me.

1048
01:08:39,640 --> 01:08:39,920
Speaker 2: I think.

1049
01:08:40,760 --> 01:08:45,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, were you close with your grandma? Uh?

1050
01:08:46,320 --> 01:08:48,160
Speaker 2: Yeah? When I was a little kid, I would spend

1051
01:08:48,200 --> 01:08:52,759
Speaker 2: summers at her house like all the time. She actually

1052
01:08:52,800 --> 01:08:54,960
Speaker 2: inspired me to do like public service stuff too.

1053
01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:56,640
Speaker 1: Oh really was she a.

1054
01:08:57,360 --> 01:09:01,720
Speaker 2: Kind of a yeah she did this, might well give

1055
01:09:01,720 --> 01:09:05,240
Speaker 2: your self docs. But she was a foster parent for

1056
01:09:05,280 --> 01:09:09,560
Speaker 2: about fifty five years. Whoa, which is insane, Like she

1057
01:09:09,720 --> 01:09:12,519
Speaker 2: was just foster random kids for five and a half decades,

1058
01:09:12,560 --> 01:09:15,800
Speaker 2: all while taking care of my dad like kids, siblings, damn.

1059
01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:18,479
Speaker 2: So like growing up as a little kid in that

1060
01:09:18,560 --> 01:09:20,960
Speaker 2: environment and like seeing how she cared for people in

1061
01:09:21,000 --> 01:09:23,519
Speaker 2: her neighborhood in their city, like it really affected me

1062
01:09:23,640 --> 01:09:27,000
Speaker 2: to want to do good. And I mean she had dementia,

1063
01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:30,519
Speaker 2: so like seeing her like slowly lose that ability to

1064
01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:33,320
Speaker 2: help and then at some point become not her anymore

1065
01:09:33,680 --> 01:09:37,040
Speaker 2: was pretty tough. Yeah, And I think that that might

1066
01:09:37,120 --> 01:09:39,400
Speaker 2: be It is like I'm trying to do fun stuff,

1067
01:09:39,439 --> 01:09:42,000
Speaker 2: so I don't like so like when my mind is

1068
01:09:42,040 --> 01:09:43,720
Speaker 2: forced me to go back to being twenty, when I'm

1069
01:09:43,760 --> 01:09:46,280
Speaker 2: like ninety years old, I have something fun to think about.

1070
01:09:46,360 --> 01:09:47,960
Speaker 2: But you know, it's tough.

1071
01:09:48,720 --> 01:09:49,799
Speaker 1: How old was your grandma?

1072
01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:52,160
Speaker 2: She was eighty five?

1073
01:09:53,040 --> 01:09:53,719
Speaker 1: Eighty five.

1074
01:09:54,880 --> 01:09:56,160
Speaker 2: That's a hell of a run.

1075
01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:58,320
Speaker 1: As a hell of a run. I'm sorry for her loss.

1076
01:09:58,360 --> 01:09:58,479
Speaker 2: Man.

1077
01:09:58,560 --> 01:10:00,840
Speaker 1: She sounds like she was a pretty good, uh, pretty

1078
01:10:00,840 --> 01:10:01,400
Speaker 1: good homide.

1079
01:10:02,600 --> 01:10:06,720
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, pretty great lady. Mm hmm. I credit her

1080
01:10:07,200 --> 01:10:09,000
Speaker 2: a fat kid. She was. She was big on the

1081
01:10:09,040 --> 01:10:13,280
Speaker 2: fried chicken in the household, you know. Oh yeah, that's

1082
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:15,639
Speaker 2: what she made. The part that you missed the most, dude.

1083
01:10:15,960 --> 01:10:17,719
Speaker 1: She made homemade fried chicken.

1084
01:10:18,800 --> 01:10:21,680
Speaker 2: Dude. She was from rural Louisiana in the forties. She

1085
01:10:21,840 --> 01:10:22,800
Speaker 2: was whipping that ship up.

1086
01:10:23,560 --> 01:10:30,200
Speaker 1: Oh pretty good, pretty pretty good. Hmm. All right, So

1087
01:10:30,760 --> 01:10:34,120
Speaker 1: you want to help people, you want to have Okay,

1088
01:10:34,160 --> 01:10:36,960
Speaker 1: so you saw your grandmother get dementia and then you're like, ship,

1089
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:40,080
Speaker 1: I want to make sure I have good memories from

1090
01:10:40,439 --> 01:10:40,960
Speaker 1: my time.

1091
01:10:42,240 --> 01:10:44,400
Speaker 2: And yeah, I think that's that was definitely a driving

1092
01:10:44,479 --> 01:10:47,439
Speaker 2: factor in me realizing I need to get out and

1093
01:10:47,520 --> 01:10:49,960
Speaker 2: start helping people and being more selfless in my day

1094
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:52,760
Speaker 2: to day m hm m hm.

1095
01:10:54,600 --> 01:11:01,080
Speaker 1: So what about all these like, uh, what what like

1096
01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:04,960
Speaker 1: workaway type of shit and like can you go like

1097
01:11:05,040 --> 01:11:08,599
Speaker 1: be like a volunteer emt Like is there no, there's

1098
01:11:08,640 --> 01:11:10,360
Speaker 1: no jobs where you can go be like a volunteer

1099
01:11:10,439 --> 01:11:11,680
Speaker 1: firefighter or something like that.

1100
01:11:13,680 --> 01:11:16,719
Speaker 2: I mean I've been looking in Seattle. It's a little

1101
01:11:16,720 --> 01:11:18,160
Speaker 2: bit harder because they want you to do like the

1102
01:11:18,200 --> 01:11:22,799
Speaker 2: firefighter academy and stuff, and I'm a little bit cranked

1103
01:11:22,800 --> 01:11:24,800
Speaker 2: out on work to be doing that, if that makes sense.

1104
01:11:24,840 --> 01:11:28,280
Speaker 2: Like I work sixty four hours a week, which explains

1105
01:11:28,280 --> 01:11:35,160
Speaker 2: why my income is so decent, but like tough, yeah, hm.

1106
01:11:36,640 --> 01:11:44,040
Speaker 1: Hmmm. What about like little ways you can help people outside.

1107
01:11:43,600 --> 01:11:46,960
Speaker 2: Of their job. Yeah, I've actually been starting to pick

1108
01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:49,360
Speaker 2: up more shifts that They're a food bank in Seattle

1109
01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:52,880
Speaker 2: that I've been working at. Uh, they do a pretty

1110
01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:54,960
Speaker 2: good job in the community. I've been helping them out

1111
01:11:55,040 --> 01:11:58,400
Speaker 2: like once or twice a week. So like it still

1112
01:11:58,400 --> 01:12:00,800
Speaker 2: feels like I'm not doing an you know, like I

1113
01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:03,840
Speaker 2: know the average person isn't doing shit in general, like

1114
01:12:04,400 --> 01:12:07,720
Speaker 2: if not monetarily than time wise, but like I don't know,

1115
01:12:07,760 --> 01:12:09,719
Speaker 2: I feel like four hours a week of community services

1116
01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:10,920
Speaker 2: isn't much you know.

1117
01:12:12,479 --> 01:12:14,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's common. I feel like you're not

1118
01:12:14,160 --> 01:12:22,160
Speaker 1: doing enough. I feel that way too. Hmmm, dude, I

1119
01:12:22,200 --> 01:12:25,160
Speaker 1: don't know, I feel like, uh, I wish I would.

1120
01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:25,400
Speaker 2: Dude.

1121
01:12:25,479 --> 01:12:29,439
Speaker 1: I'm well, I'm a little stuck because I don't know

1122
01:12:30,640 --> 01:12:33,439
Speaker 1: what it is that you've been looking for job wise,

1123
01:12:33,560 --> 01:12:35,920
Speaker 1: and like I don't know what's out there, you know

1124
01:12:35,960 --> 01:12:36,400
Speaker 1: what I mean.

1125
01:12:36,600 --> 01:12:39,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's the issue with uh, like being in

1126
01:12:39,479 --> 01:12:41,479
Speaker 2: New York, like like you are, You're in New York, right,

1127
01:12:41,640 --> 01:12:45,040
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to remember. Yeah, yeah, dude, that's that's

1128
01:12:45,080 --> 01:12:47,360
Speaker 2: the issue. In New York. It's there are a couple

1129
01:12:47,400 --> 01:12:49,160
Speaker 2: of jobs that are way more easy to think about,

1130
01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:52,559
Speaker 2: like shit, I don't know, helping out almost people or whatever.

1131
01:12:52,600 --> 01:12:56,599
Speaker 2: But out here there's so much more like earthquake prevention,

1132
01:12:56,800 --> 01:12:59,680
Speaker 2: ship and there's like fire, there's like wild land firefighting

1133
01:13:00,280 --> 01:13:03,360
Speaker 2: all that stuff. It's just such an array of options

1134
01:13:03,520 --> 01:13:06,559
Speaker 2: just alone in the country, and like they all need people,

1135
01:13:06,720 --> 01:13:09,639
Speaker 2: but they're all kind of lacking, you know. Mm hmm.

1136
01:13:10,760 --> 01:13:12,800
Speaker 1: So they all need people, but they're lacking, then why

1137
01:13:12,880 --> 01:13:14,920
Speaker 1: are it But if they all need people, then why

1138
01:13:15,800 --> 01:13:17,360
Speaker 1: are you having a hard time getting that?

1139
01:13:19,040 --> 01:13:24,479
Speaker 2: The American job market man real tough out here. M hmm.

1140
01:13:25,400 --> 01:13:27,519
Speaker 2: I don't know. I saw a thing that was like

1141
01:13:27,600 --> 01:13:29,920
Speaker 2: you have a point six percent chance of getting an

1142
01:13:29,920 --> 01:13:32,479
Speaker 2: interview now when you apply to a company, which I

1143
01:13:32,560 --> 01:13:34,639
Speaker 2: don't want to be like I'm playing the numbers game here,

1144
01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:36,960
Speaker 2: but I'm definitely playing the numbers game on applications.

1145
01:13:37,720 --> 01:13:39,560
Speaker 1: Where are you applying? Are you like applying, are you

1146
01:13:39,560 --> 01:13:42,120
Speaker 1: applying to ship online? Or are you like meeting people

1147
01:13:42,479 --> 01:13:43,000
Speaker 1: in person?

1148
01:13:43,240 --> 01:13:45,799
Speaker 2: I'm throwing I'm throwing lobs online.

1149
01:13:46,680 --> 01:13:50,519
Speaker 1: You gotta find you gotta find a way to do

1150
01:13:50,600 --> 01:13:52,800
Speaker 1: ship in person. If everything you do online is just

1151
01:13:52,840 --> 01:13:55,800
Speaker 1: gonna get fucked, you gotta like you gotta know a

1152
01:13:55,880 --> 01:13:58,640
Speaker 1: guy that's that. That is the one thing that I

1153
01:13:58,840 --> 01:14:02,439
Speaker 1: know for sure about like getting a job is like

1154
01:14:02,680 --> 01:14:05,360
Speaker 1: whether you know people think that like to get like

1155
01:14:05,479 --> 01:14:09,200
Speaker 1: a like a job in like the entertainment industry or whatever,

1156
01:14:09,680 --> 01:14:13,280
Speaker 1: like you gotta like know someone on the inside, right.

1157
01:14:14,160 --> 01:14:19,080
Speaker 1: But that's the truth about every single job. You know,

1158
01:14:19,200 --> 01:14:21,240
Speaker 1: if you want to get a job at a grocery store,

1159
01:14:21,720 --> 01:14:24,120
Speaker 1: you gotta have a buddy that works there and to

1160
01:14:24,200 --> 01:14:26,600
Speaker 1: vouch for you, Like you always I feel like you

1161
01:14:26,960 --> 01:14:31,479
Speaker 1: always always have to know somebody you gotta like do

1162
01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:34,920
Speaker 1: some kind of in person networking. You gotta go to

1163
01:14:35,120 --> 01:14:38,200
Speaker 1: the place physically and like talk to people because if

1164
01:14:38,240 --> 01:14:41,639
Speaker 1: you just raw online, all that shit's gonna get filtered

1165
01:14:41,640 --> 01:14:45,160
Speaker 1: out by some like AI program or it's gonna be

1166
01:14:45,240 --> 01:14:49,120
Speaker 1: like stuck in a pile of like you know, dude,

1167
01:14:49,160 --> 01:14:52,920
Speaker 1: it's the differ. It's truly the difference between like going

1168
01:14:53,000 --> 01:14:55,320
Speaker 1: out to talk to women in real life versus using

1169
01:14:55,360 --> 01:14:58,360
Speaker 1: a dating app. You know, It's like it's like they're

1170
01:14:58,360 --> 01:15:01,320
Speaker 1: getting millions and million's good. They're get thousands and thousands

1171
01:15:01,400 --> 01:15:08,679
Speaker 1: of applications on hinge, Right, you gotta like go after

1172
01:15:09,560 --> 01:15:12,880
Speaker 1: what you want in real life somehow, or else you

1173
01:15:13,040 --> 01:15:21,200
Speaker 1: just get like demolished by the So I don't know

1174
01:15:21,280 --> 01:15:23,160
Speaker 1: where could you go in real life where you could

1175
01:15:23,240 --> 01:15:26,360
Speaker 1: like meet people that you could get into this industry with.

1176
01:15:27,880 --> 01:15:30,080
Speaker 2: I'm not I mean, I'm sure there's networking events if

1177
01:15:30,120 --> 01:15:32,800
Speaker 2: I looked into them. But around here there's a lot

1178
01:15:32,880 --> 01:15:35,519
Speaker 2: of like street people that like stand out sudden, like hey,

1179
01:15:35,560 --> 01:15:38,760
Speaker 2: you want to help up the ACLU or like lou

1180
01:15:38,840 --> 01:15:41,599
Speaker 2: lac or whatever. It's that's the nice part of being

1181
01:15:41,640 --> 01:15:44,160
Speaker 2: in such a blue city is there's always opportunities to find.

1182
01:15:44,920 --> 01:15:48,920
Speaker 2: I guess ideologically aligned groups with me and talk like

1183
01:15:48,960 --> 01:15:54,120
Speaker 2: people representing them. But I don't know, man, a little

1184
01:15:54,160 --> 01:15:56,519
Speaker 2: rough to find a job out here, Like I feel

1185
01:15:56,520 --> 01:15:58,479
Speaker 2: like that's gonna be my tagline for this. But uh

1186
01:15:58,560 --> 01:16:00,599
Speaker 2: yeah mm hmm.

1187
01:16:01,040 --> 01:16:02,599
Speaker 1: Okay, so you say you haven't looked into.

1188
01:16:02,479 --> 01:16:07,760
Speaker 2: It yet, So I mean nothing in person really, but yeah, go.

1189
01:16:07,800 --> 01:16:09,720
Speaker 1: Out trying to find some shit in person? What's uh,

1190
01:16:11,280 --> 01:16:13,519
Speaker 1: I don't know what are there? Like, there's got to

1191
01:16:13,560 --> 01:16:20,519
Speaker 1: be some like cheogy networking events going on in Seattle

1192
01:16:20,600 --> 01:16:21,960
Speaker 1: that you can go check out.

1193
01:16:23,360 --> 01:16:26,599
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, probably, I mean if I don't know any

1194
01:16:26,680 --> 01:16:28,920
Speaker 2: right now, I'm sure if you end up posting this,

1195
01:16:29,160 --> 01:16:31,160
Speaker 2: I'll probably find something in the comments.

1196
01:16:31,680 --> 01:16:34,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah, leave it. Leave a comment

1197
01:16:35,880 --> 01:16:38,680
Speaker 1: on the Spotify folks if you know anything. If that

1198
01:16:38,840 --> 01:16:41,800
Speaker 1: that that this gentleman can go take a look at

1199
01:16:42,120 --> 01:16:43,519
Speaker 1: go ahead where you said, I will say.

1200
01:16:43,560 --> 01:16:45,880
Speaker 2: That's That's the big appeal of your show to me

1201
01:16:46,120 --> 01:16:49,200
Speaker 2: is that you fostered a pretty lovely community of people

1202
01:16:49,760 --> 01:16:52,000
Speaker 2: you know, and like, I just want to I mean, grant,

1203
01:16:52,040 --> 01:16:53,400
Speaker 2: I don't if you're gonna cut this part for time,

1204
01:16:53,439 --> 01:16:55,320
Speaker 2: but oh, A big fan of your work didn't I

1205
01:16:55,360 --> 01:16:56,599
Speaker 2: think you've done a very good job.

1206
01:16:57,479 --> 01:17:00,720
Speaker 1: Thanks Ben. Yeah, cut that for time, get rid of that.

1207
01:17:01,439 --> 01:17:04,439
Speaker 1: Don't keep that on the podcast. Don't let anyone know. No,

1208
01:17:04,520 --> 01:17:05,960
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. Don't You don't have to cut that,

1209
01:17:06,040 --> 01:17:09,880
Speaker 1: Brandon anyway? Well, what's your name again?

1210
01:17:09,920 --> 01:17:11,280
Speaker 2: Man? Uh?

1211
01:17:12,520 --> 01:17:14,960
Speaker 1: Reese? You seem like a good dude. Reese. I think

1212
01:17:14,960 --> 01:17:15,719
Speaker 1: you're gonna be okay.

1213
01:17:15,840 --> 01:17:16,000
Speaker 2: I know.

1214
01:17:16,120 --> 01:17:18,840
Speaker 1: I actually I don't say that to everyone. I don't.

1215
01:17:18,840 --> 01:17:21,360
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't. I don't think I say that

1216
01:17:21,479 --> 01:17:23,800
Speaker 1: to everyone. I don't say it to everyone. But I

1217
01:17:24,000 --> 01:17:25,600
Speaker 1: think you will be fine. I think you got a

1218
01:17:25,640 --> 01:17:32,080
Speaker 1: good heart. I'm glad people like you exist, and I

1219
01:17:32,200 --> 01:17:36,640
Speaker 1: hope you find a place where your Reese hood can

1220
01:17:36,720 --> 01:17:42,360
Speaker 1: be properly applied. Thank you, man, I take it easy, Race.

1221
01:17:42,400 --> 01:17:43,400
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the

1222
01:17:43,400 --> 01:17:46,000
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go? Uh?

1223
01:17:47,280 --> 01:17:49,400
Speaker 2: Don't let your dreams be dreams? Who? Who the fuck

1224
01:17:49,439 --> 01:17:54,320
Speaker 2: says that? Yeah? Give this guy money on Patreon. Pretty goods.

1225
01:17:54,360 --> 01:17:56,519
Speaker 2: I'm about to go do it myself, Rocker.

1226
01:17:56,600 --> 01:17:57,840
Speaker 1: Well, thank you, Reese. I appreciate you.

1227
01:17:57,920 --> 01:17:58,080
Speaker 2: Man.

1228
01:17:58,800 --> 01:18:06,200
Speaker 1: Later see dude, what's up, gangsters, It's me. It's Lyle

1229
01:18:06,720 --> 01:18:12,439
Speaker 1: and I figure that it would be nice to end

1230
01:18:13,120 --> 01:18:21,840
Speaker 1: the podcast today by uh reading one single gek mail.

1231
01:18:22,760 --> 01:18:25,960
Speaker 1: We had a pretty long first call, decently long second call,

1232
01:18:26,760 --> 01:18:28,599
Speaker 1: and I want to let you guys go. I don't

1233
01:18:28,600 --> 01:18:33,439
Speaker 1: want to make the show too long, So let's let's

1234
01:18:34,120 --> 01:18:38,680
Speaker 1: read one single gek mail and then we'll get out

1235
01:18:38,720 --> 01:18:43,240
Speaker 1: of here. Does that sound good? Is everyone okay with that?

1236
01:18:44,640 --> 01:18:48,040
Speaker 1: Let's find a good one. Let's find a good one. Oh,

1237
01:18:49,720 --> 01:19:00,759
Speaker 1: let's see interesting. Wait now this one's too short. Sorry,

1238
01:19:01,720 --> 01:19:04,960
Speaker 1: all right, let's do this one. This is from Holly,

1239
01:19:05,600 --> 01:19:13,080
Speaker 1: subject line a letter of inspiration from Sweet's McGee. Hello, Lyle,

1240
01:19:13,400 --> 01:19:17,840
Speaker 1: I wanted to reciprocate some inspiration for a fellow Sweet enthusiast.

1241
01:19:18,800 --> 01:19:21,519
Speaker 1: I recalled an episode a while back where you mentioned

1242
01:19:21,840 --> 01:19:25,800
Speaker 1: the glorious Ben and Jerry's peanut Butter some'mores ice cream

1243
01:19:26,120 --> 01:19:31,240
Speaker 1: and had to get some for myself. Wow, I feel

1244
01:19:31,400 --> 01:19:35,400
Speaker 1: like I'm a bad influence. If you're listening to this,

1245
01:19:35,840 --> 01:19:39,679
Speaker 1: don't try the Ben and Jerry's Peanut Butter Smores ice cream.

1246
01:19:39,680 --> 01:19:42,920
Speaker 1: It'll ruin your fucking life. Don't try that, And don't

1247
01:19:42,960 --> 01:19:45,600
Speaker 1: try sprinkled donut Captain Crunch. I don't know if they

1248
01:19:45,640 --> 01:19:48,000
Speaker 1: still make that but if they do stay far away

1249
01:19:48,040 --> 01:19:50,240
Speaker 1: from it. Those two things will ruin your life. If

1250
01:19:50,280 --> 01:19:56,200
Speaker 1: you're a if you're a crazy person. Anyway, I had

1251
01:19:56,240 --> 01:19:58,920
Speaker 1: to get some for myself. It was a religious experience.

1252
01:19:59,280 --> 01:20:02,000
Speaker 1: I hope I can replicate for you. Go to a

1253
01:20:02,120 --> 01:20:06,880
Speaker 1: bakery and get some fresh croissants. Get some crunchy cookie butter.

1254
01:20:07,840 --> 01:20:11,000
Speaker 1: Usually I prefer the Kroger store brand kind that uses

1255
01:20:11,760 --> 01:20:15,120
Speaker 1: Speculos cookie butter, and I like it better than bisc Off,

1256
01:20:15,400 --> 01:20:18,920
Speaker 1: although biscoff is fine. And then get some cinnamon honey butter.

1257
01:20:19,240 --> 01:20:21,400
Speaker 1: Is this woman giving me a recipe?

1258
01:20:23,040 --> 01:20:23,360
Speaker 2: Hold on?

1259
01:20:23,800 --> 01:20:27,360
Speaker 1: All can be found at any Kroger store. I usually

1260
01:20:27,439 --> 01:20:29,320
Speaker 1: go to fred Meyer, but I don't know if that's

1261
01:20:29,400 --> 01:20:32,280
Speaker 1: common for you in New York. What is this the okay?

1262
01:20:32,640 --> 01:20:35,519
Speaker 1: Cut the croissant in half and lay a generous spread

1263
01:20:35,560 --> 01:20:38,879
Speaker 1: of the cookie butter on one side and the cinnamon

1264
01:20:38,960 --> 01:20:42,479
Speaker 1: honey butter on the other. Microwave it for fifteen seconds

1265
01:20:42,600 --> 01:20:46,639
Speaker 1: exactly and enjoy. This is the melty, delicious ecstasy you've

1266
01:20:46,680 --> 01:20:48,640
Speaker 1: been looking for to fill that little piece of your

1267
01:20:48,680 --> 01:20:51,679
Speaker 1: soul where everything in life feels good for the moment.

1268
01:20:52,320 --> 01:20:54,000
Speaker 1: I love your show. I listen all the time for

1269
01:20:54,120 --> 01:20:56,920
Speaker 1: work I've called a few hundred times to no avail,

1270
01:20:57,240 --> 01:20:58,800
Speaker 1: but I hope this can find you on a gek

1271
01:20:58,840 --> 01:21:02,559
Speaker 1: mail show. Has genuinely helped me mold my perspective into

1272
01:21:02,600 --> 01:21:04,519
Speaker 1: a life I am much happier in, and I thank

1273
01:21:04,560 --> 01:21:07,280
Speaker 1: you sincerely. I have so many other sweets and tails

1274
01:21:07,320 --> 01:21:09,759
Speaker 1: from life I feel like you'd enjoy, so I'll keep calling.

1275
01:21:10,160 --> 01:21:12,280
Speaker 1: You're a wonderful lizard, and I appreciate everything you do.

1276
01:21:12,760 --> 01:21:17,959
Speaker 1: Take care sweet smagee. Well, thank you, thank you emailer.

1277
01:21:18,240 --> 01:21:21,240
Speaker 1: This is very sweet. I don't know this. I have

1278
01:21:21,320 --> 01:21:25,559
Speaker 1: to be super honest with you, Holly. This is way

1279
01:21:25,720 --> 01:21:32,840
Speaker 1: more preparation and cooking that I'm willing to do. Just

1280
01:21:32,920 --> 01:21:35,200
Speaker 1: to be honest with you, I'm glad I read it

1281
01:21:35,320 --> 01:21:39,200
Speaker 1: on the podcast because I think that it will find

1282
01:21:39,280 --> 01:21:42,280
Speaker 1: its way to somebody else and they'll give it a try.

1283
01:21:43,120 --> 01:21:45,679
Speaker 1: But I know it's pathetic that this is way more

1284
01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:51,679
Speaker 1: cooking that I'm willing to do, but that it is true.

1285
01:21:51,720 --> 01:21:54,800
Speaker 1: I think if I want something that describes this, I'll

1286
01:21:54,880 --> 01:21:57,479
Speaker 1: just like get a butterfinger, or I'll just get the

1287
01:21:57,560 --> 01:22:01,639
Speaker 1: peanut butter some Moores ice cream. Honestly having to pull

1288
01:22:01,720 --> 01:22:06,280
Speaker 1: a having to wash a spoon, to get in there.

1289
01:22:08,040 --> 01:22:11,200
Speaker 1: That's a lot of work too. No, I'm not that

1290
01:22:11,400 --> 01:22:13,000
Speaker 1: much of a piece of shit. I can. I can

1291
01:22:13,200 --> 01:22:16,960
Speaker 1: wash a spoon. I'm actually doing I shouldn't announce this,

1292
01:22:17,120 --> 01:22:19,640
Speaker 1: but I've been trying out a Keto diet for the

1293
01:22:19,760 --> 01:22:22,920
Speaker 1: last uh pretty much. I've been doing Keto pretty on

1294
01:22:23,080 --> 01:22:26,320
Speaker 1: and off for this whole year. Keto is when you

1295
01:22:26,439 --> 01:22:29,400
Speaker 1: don't eat carbs. So I've been like staying away from

1296
01:22:29,479 --> 01:22:32,519
Speaker 1: sweets and shit. I was on the I was on

1297
01:22:32,560 --> 01:22:35,400
Speaker 1: an airplane recently and I just it was a long

1298
01:22:35,520 --> 01:22:37,840
Speaker 1: fucking flight and I needed something, so I broke it.

1299
01:22:37,960 --> 01:22:43,519
Speaker 1: I got a horry bow like gummy bears because like

1300
01:22:43,640 --> 01:22:46,040
Speaker 1: there's nothing to you know what's stupid is I have

1301
01:22:46,120 --> 01:22:47,800
Speaker 1: this thing where I'm like, there's nothing to do on

1302
01:22:47,880 --> 01:22:50,280
Speaker 1: this flight, let me just eat, And so I get

1303
01:22:50,280 --> 01:22:52,719
Speaker 1: the gummy bears and that takes up about five minutes

1304
01:22:52,760 --> 01:22:55,960
Speaker 1: of the twenty hours that I'm in the sky for.

1305
01:22:57,479 --> 01:23:00,639
Speaker 1: But I somehow convinced myself that it's it's I need

1306
01:23:00,720 --> 01:23:05,240
Speaker 1: it to get through the flight. But nah, man, I've

1307
01:23:05,280 --> 01:23:09,679
Speaker 1: been If anyone's got any recipes for steaks or fucking

1308
01:23:10,800 --> 01:23:16,719
Speaker 1: bacon eggs, stuff like that, I'm trading high blood sugar

1309
01:23:16,800 --> 01:23:20,439
Speaker 1: for high cholesterol or ending up with both. We'll see

1310
01:23:20,560 --> 01:23:25,479
Speaker 1: what happens. But yeah, I'm I'm enjoying the keto shit.

1311
01:23:25,520 --> 01:23:28,680
Speaker 1: I've been enjoying not eating carbs. I've only I've done it.

1312
01:23:29,160 --> 01:23:32,439
Speaker 1: Uh like I'll use what I've been doing is like

1313
01:23:32,520 --> 01:23:34,720
Speaker 1: it's been. It'll be like a week and then I'll

1314
01:23:34,760 --> 01:23:36,760
Speaker 1: fuck up, and then i'll do another week, and then

1315
01:23:36,760 --> 01:23:39,200
Speaker 1: i'll fuck up, and I'll do another week and then

1316
01:23:39,240 --> 01:23:41,640
Speaker 1: I'll suck up. But I overall it's led me to

1317
01:23:42,320 --> 01:23:49,200
Speaker 1: eat less shit, uh naturally, which is good. Anytime I'm

1318
01:23:49,240 --> 01:23:51,439
Speaker 1: like doing anything where i'm I'm at least paying attention

1319
01:23:51,600 --> 01:23:55,760
Speaker 1: to what I eat, I'm kind of making it work.

1320
01:23:56,280 --> 01:23:58,160
Speaker 1: It's when you're not paying attention or not, Karen, then

1321
01:23:58,160 --> 01:24:00,360
Speaker 1: you just start going hamm and you start eating fucking

1322
01:24:00,400 --> 01:24:06,160
Speaker 1: peanut butter, s'mores whatever stuff all the time. All Right, folks,

1323
01:24:06,200 --> 01:24:09,280
Speaker 1: I know I said I do one, but I'll do

1324
01:24:09,400 --> 01:24:14,040
Speaker 1: one more. Uh if I can find a really short one,

1325
01:24:15,200 --> 01:24:25,080
Speaker 1: I'll do one more. Okay. This is from uh let's

1326
01:24:25,160 --> 01:24:30,240
Speaker 1: see here. Okay, this is from Marco. Subject line it

1327
01:24:30,400 --> 01:24:34,880
Speaker 1: wasn't that bad, hey, gek I've had a noisy upstairs neighbor.

1328
01:24:34,960 --> 01:24:37,760
Speaker 1: For two years now, I was afraid of approaching them

1329
01:24:38,080 --> 01:24:40,720
Speaker 1: in fear of being a dick about it. Today, their

1330
01:24:41,000 --> 01:24:44,640
Speaker 1: towel fell on my balcony, so I went upstairs to

1331
01:24:44,800 --> 01:24:47,400
Speaker 1: return it to them. It turns out they're a pretty

1332
01:24:47,520 --> 01:24:51,120
Speaker 1: chill lady. She says she's sorry about the noise, and

1333
01:24:51,200 --> 01:24:54,120
Speaker 1: we'll try to do something about it. This didn't resolve

1334
01:24:54,200 --> 01:24:56,599
Speaker 1: my issue with the noise, but it stopped my spiraling

1335
01:24:56,720 --> 01:25:00,000
Speaker 1: thoughts about that experience of facing them. Even if it's

1336
01:25:00,040 --> 01:25:02,760
Speaker 1: turned out bad, it would have been okay. So to

1337
01:25:02,840 --> 01:25:05,800
Speaker 1: whomever is avoiding an issue and spending more time thinking

1338
01:25:05,840 --> 01:25:09,160
Speaker 1: about something than acting upon it, one piece of advice.

1339
01:25:09,800 --> 01:25:10,200
Speaker 2: Just do it.

1340
01:25:10,720 --> 01:25:12,080
Speaker 1: It makes your life a bit easier.

1341
01:25:12,680 --> 01:25:13,000
Speaker 2: PS.

1342
01:25:13,040 --> 01:25:14,880
Speaker 1: When are you coming to Europe? I missed your last

1343
01:25:14,960 --> 01:25:19,800
Speaker 1: London show by a week. Ah fuck, I'm gonna try

1344
01:25:19,840 --> 01:25:21,800
Speaker 1: to come to Europe. I don't have any plans right now,

1345
01:25:21,880 --> 01:25:23,559
Speaker 1: but maybe I'll Maybe I'll do it next year. We'll

1346
01:25:23,560 --> 01:25:26,840
Speaker 1: see or if I get or or if I start

1347
01:25:26,880 --> 01:25:29,519
Speaker 1: really feeling if I start really feeling myself on tour,

1348
01:25:29,640 --> 01:25:33,560
Speaker 1: then I'll add a whole Europe thing. But we'll see. Anyway, No,

1349
01:25:33,720 --> 01:25:34,160
Speaker 1: I like this.

1350
01:25:34,479 --> 01:25:35,519
Speaker 2: I like this. I like this.

1351
01:25:37,520 --> 01:25:41,600
Speaker 1: That's how a lot of great friendships start is you

1352
01:25:41,720 --> 01:25:45,320
Speaker 1: start out as enemies, but then you find out that

1353
01:25:45,400 --> 01:25:49,560
Speaker 1: when you really get to talk to the lady, when

1354
01:25:49,600 --> 01:25:52,280
Speaker 1: you when you know your neighbor only when your neighbor's

1355
01:25:52,439 --> 01:25:58,880
Speaker 1: only manifestation of themselves is a loud, fucking TV, then yeah,

1356
01:25:58,960 --> 01:26:02,120
Speaker 1: you're not gonna I really like them, but once they

1357
01:26:02,200 --> 01:26:05,960
Speaker 1: become a real, full person, you might realize that you

1358
01:26:06,080 --> 01:26:09,760
Speaker 1: actually have some things in common. So I'm happy for you,

1359
01:26:09,880 --> 01:26:15,439
Speaker 1: Marco for making a new friend in a place where

1360
01:26:15,479 --> 01:26:25,360
Speaker 1: there was only animosity before. That's a nice story, folks.

1361
01:26:25,400 --> 01:26:29,840
Speaker 1: This has been the Therapy Gecko podcast. Thank you all

1362
01:26:29,880 --> 01:26:32,599
Speaker 1: for listening. Please go buy tickets to my tour. I'm

1363
01:26:32,680 --> 01:26:38,320
Speaker 1: touring thirty one cities across America, a few in Canada,

1364
01:26:38,920 --> 01:26:42,800
Speaker 1: and I'm working on material for it. I'm working on

1365
01:26:43,560 --> 01:26:45,960
Speaker 1: trying to make it a good show and I think

1366
01:26:46,000 --> 01:26:48,560
Speaker 1: you guys will have fun. I'm excited about it. Go

1367
01:26:48,640 --> 01:26:53,040
Speaker 1: to Therapy geckotour dot com to get tickets, or check

1368
01:26:53,120 --> 01:26:57,080
Speaker 1: the link in the episode description. Thank you guys very

1369
01:26:57,120 --> 01:27:01,840
Speaker 1: much for listening to this show. Appreciate it. We're still

1370
01:27:01,880 --> 01:27:04,719
Speaker 1: going strong. We're still talking to people, We're still reading emails,

1371
01:27:04,760 --> 01:27:09,639
Speaker 1: We're still learning about life, and uh, it's been a beautiful, wonderful,

1372
01:27:09,680 --> 01:27:12,360
Speaker 1: epic journey. I appreciate you guys for sticking with me

1373
01:27:12,479 --> 01:27:16,320
Speaker 1: on it. Ghek Bless you all and have a good

1374
01:27:16,360 --> 01:27:18,240
Speaker 1: rest of your day. Thank you.

1375
01:27:19,280 --> 01:27:23,040
Speaker 2: Beacon goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night.

1376
01:27:23,439 --> 01:27:25,320
Speaker 6: De Beacon goes to What to Hide.

1377
01:27:25,400 --> 01:27:27,559
Speaker 1: He's teaching you cloud in the mim of your life.

1378
01:27:27,960 --> 01:27:30,080
Speaker 1: Money's not ready, an expert