WEBVTT - How Men Think with Selling Sunset's Romain Bonnet 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:04.000 We're taking you inside the mind of a man. List 0:00:04.519 --> 0:00:08.399 is how mentic and I heard radio podcast. Hi everyone, 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:11.680 I'm woman bone and human know me from selling Sunset 0:00:12.119 --> 0:00:15.680 and I'm made to marry Figeral. I'm also a project 0:00:15.680 --> 0:00:19.479 manager with the White Blood Estates and I'm happy to 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:24.439 be the guests on Hope Men's Things, Um, and I'm 0:00:24.440 --> 0:00:28.240 going to answer all your questions so to try to 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:32.680 help you to understand how Men's Things. So, but first 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:35.919 this is the living question we remained, So let's get 0:00:35.960 --> 0:00:41.040 into it. What are you known for? Tell us about yourself. 0:00:41.080 --> 0:00:45.479 So I'm sure everyone knows me from selling Sunset especially 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:50.480 it's um um um the literality TV show on Netflix 0:00:50.720 --> 0:00:55.480 about release states where I'm a project manager and my 0:00:55.560 --> 0:01:01.360 wife is a brace figeent and and that's it. So 0:01:01.440 --> 0:01:04.720 that's my life. So a project manager constantly or we 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:09.039 work a lot with your plan group and then um, 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:15.640 and that's about who are you in your personal life? So, uh, 0:01:15.959 --> 0:01:19.120 my personal life. So I moved like now about like 0:01:19.160 --> 0:01:22.560 six years ago um in de l A as a 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:27.640 chef and as a model and litly on like actually 0:01:27.680 --> 0:01:30.080 like a couple of months after I actually stopped working 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:33.360 as a chef because that's like some issues with my 0:01:33.400 --> 0:01:37.560 previous busses. And then that's when I start my journey 0:01:37.560 --> 0:01:43.840 into that really states slash construction. Um. At first I 0:01:43.840 --> 0:01:46.680 have no idea, and then I started to enjoy it 0:01:46.720 --> 0:01:49.320 after a couple of months and then end up by 0:01:49.600 --> 0:01:54.040 um becoming a project manager and taking over the project. 0:01:54.160 --> 0:01:57.520 And then um, the more I was doing it and 0:01:57.560 --> 0:02:00.760 the more like that, so UM in that I became 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:06.120 my main focus right now and then hopefully uh, let alone, 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:09.280 we want to start flipping us is we've married, and 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:12.760 if possible, even have like a spinoff and own shoe. 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:19.120 So that's a project UM for the true show. So 0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:30.079 shows that I've been watching. Um, I have no idea. 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:43.840 Huh oh yeah, nachos. We did watch Selling Sunset and 0:02:43.960 --> 0:02:48.880 what UM I like, Uh, it's not a shoe, but 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:52.960 it's a movie actually and that came on not long ago. 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:58.280 It's a Dean former and also the one we've um 0:02:58.440 --> 0:03:03.000 Jamie Foxx so I can't remember the name, but it's 0:03:03.040 --> 0:03:07.840 a good one. UM. What is your favorite food? So, 0:03:07.919 --> 0:03:12.079 my favorite food is Italian food, So I'm a big 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:18.760 fan of pasta, pizza and meat also but yes, that's uh, 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:22.960 that's my favorite food. Definitely tell us about your career 0:03:23.160 --> 0:03:28.840 so by Mica. Yeah, like I said previously, UM, I 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:34.760 was a chef almost um ten years and helped me 0:03:34.800 --> 0:03:39.240 to travel all around the world. UM. And then um 0:03:39.440 --> 0:03:42.520 clearly on UM, I was starting to get into modeling 0:03:42.560 --> 0:03:46.920 when I was living in Australia and before I came here, 0:03:47.680 --> 0:03:52.720 and then um, that's when um, I actually stop working 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:56.640 as a chef to become a project manager and then 0:03:57.320 --> 0:04:03.960 get more into a construction and real estate and and 0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:10.200 you also as a as working on tvrself. So uh, 0:04:10.800 --> 0:04:13.400 that's about it. What is your biggest fear in life? 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:17.400 So my biggest fear in life, I wouldn't say that 0:04:17.480 --> 0:04:21.640 it's feling because feeling, it's learning and that's what I 0:04:21.680 --> 0:04:26.239 think would become better. And you know, I learn, um 0:04:26.360 --> 0:04:32.720 how to do things better. But I just keep trying 0:04:32.800 --> 0:04:38.279 to get better at what we do as uh not 0:04:38.360 --> 0:04:41.400 as fast as possible because this is a process. But 0:04:41.640 --> 0:04:46.479 I'm always I'm always worry uh that I don't make 0:04:46.520 --> 0:04:49.640 it in time, and uh, you know, always I think 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:54.160 I'm trying to push myself so much because I know 0:04:54.400 --> 0:04:58.200 that how much I am capable of doing. And that's 0:04:58.279 --> 0:05:03.279 what I think makes me uh worriobut like not being 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:06.839 able to to get to where I want to be 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:12.560 in uh in the time that I'm setting. Basically, what 0:05:12.760 --> 0:05:18.320 is your biggest pective? Um? Seriously don't really know. I've 0:05:18.360 --> 0:05:20.800 been asking that question not to don't go actually and 0:05:21.000 --> 0:05:23.040 I couldn't say it. So I still need to figure out. 0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:25.680 I don't know if I have one. I just need 0:05:25.680 --> 0:05:29.919 to figure to think about it. What makes you the 0:05:30.040 --> 0:05:37.080 most happy? Uh? I would say my wife, happy wife, 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:44.080 happy life. Now that's too mean. Uh happy? Um, independent 0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:46.880 many ways that I get happy. But I'm happy at 0:05:46.920 --> 0:05:50.880 work when I you know, when I finished something and 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:54.080 I'm proud of it. So um, But what makes me 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:57.359 most happy? It's like, you know, enjoying your my life 0:05:57.360 --> 0:05:59.839 with my wife and you know, spending time to give 0:05:59.880 --> 0:06:07.200 you most likely what is your ideal surturday morning? Uh? 0:06:07.920 --> 0:06:11.560 I would say my ideas Saturday the morning. It's actually 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:13.880 like to go to the gym on the morning, early morning. 0:06:14.440 --> 0:06:16.720 And then I would say after go and get breakfast 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:21.240 with my wife and then um and then maybe uh yeah, 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:27.159 go run through my wife of something. Are you more 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:33.960 of an autlet of hamp chairs? Quarterback? I will say 0:06:34.080 --> 0:06:38.760 more of an athlete. I just love sports and fitness 0:06:38.839 --> 0:06:42.039 and stuff like that, so definitely more of an athlete. 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:47.240 So what kids you put motive? Um, I would say 0:06:47.240 --> 0:06:52.080 it's my goals, um I Um, I'm lucky. I also 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:54.720 have to say that I have like so many like 0:06:54.880 --> 0:07:00.160 successful people around me that keeps me, you know, um 0:07:00.320 --> 0:07:05.680 motivated and and you know, my goals keeps me motivated. 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:08.800 But to see that those people around me helps me 0:07:09.160 --> 0:07:12.600 and gives me even more the ambitious and and and 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:15.880 the will that you know I can't get it and 0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:19.200 I will and it just like keeps me going, you know, 0:07:19.560 --> 0:07:24.280 to get there. So that's the leven question with me, Romaine, 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:28.280 and um, we're gonna take a quick break and come back. 0:07:38.000 --> 0:07:41.520 So welcome back to home and things, and um let's 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:46.200 get into with some life calls. Hi Ashley's Romaine, how 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:49.520 are you? Hi? I'm good, How are you good? Thank you? 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:53.560 So what's your question? All right? So I've recently moved 0:07:53.600 --> 0:07:55.720 in with my boyfriend of a year and there are 0:07:55.760 --> 0:07:57.559 some things that I'm like having a hard time getting 0:07:57.640 --> 0:08:02.320 used to. So like he says comments to me just 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:05.120 here and there, and like I know he doesn't intend 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:08.720 them to be disrespectful, but they are. I think it's 0:08:08.720 --> 0:08:11.160 because like we aren't just like used to living to 0:08:11.240 --> 0:08:14.520 being around with each other like seven you know, but 0:08:14.640 --> 0:08:17.880 like I don't know, sometimes those comments make me worry 0:08:17.880 --> 0:08:20.520 that I've made a huge mistake moving in with him, 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:23.600 and like I don't know, I question that is love 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:29.400 enough type of thing? You know? Yeah, well I would say, 0:08:29.440 --> 0:08:32.200 I mean if I was you personally, I mean, I 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:36.640 guess the best um my advice would be too, like 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:38.960 almost have a sit down with him, like you know, 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:42.760 explain to to him or you feel because sometimes the 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:46.080 only things is like I think in a couple, um 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:50.480 people don't understand or don't realize how much certain things 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:55.120 affect each other. Which maybe for him it doesn't doesn't 0:08:55.120 --> 0:08:57.920 take it seriously or doesn't see like who you know, 0:08:58.000 --> 0:09:01.640 disrespectful it is you know for you and don't think 0:09:01.640 --> 0:09:04.679 he hurts you or anything like that and a and 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:07.000 just maybe the first step will be like to actually 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:09.640 sit down with him, have a talk and and make 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:12.760 him realize that actually it does bother you and that 0:09:12.880 --> 0:09:17.079 you you would like him to stop doing those comments 0:09:17.160 --> 0:09:19.600 or like you know this type of things and then 0:09:19.960 --> 0:09:23.600 you know, um, see if like things change, you know, 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:25.640 because at that point you know that you know it 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:29.480 would be aware of it, and that you know, if 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:31.679 he's still doing it, then obviously there won be a 0:09:31.800 --> 0:09:35.480 different issues. Okay, so just like lay it all out 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:38.000 there and then see if those are his true colors 0:09:38.080 --> 0:09:43.080 or just like mussations. I think almost like for me, 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:45.640 like the in relationship, you need to be able to 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:48.480 talk like you know anything you have, like when something 0:09:48.679 --> 0:09:51.679 when you know it's like when you love something, you 0:09:51.840 --> 0:09:54.240 not let the person know, right. I feel like it 0:09:54.280 --> 0:09:57.280 should be the same for everything. So if something bother 0:09:57.400 --> 0:10:00.760 you or if you don't like something, just be open 0:10:00.840 --> 0:10:04.360 and like just say the way it is. That way 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:06.640 people knows about it, like you know, there's not like 0:10:06.720 --> 0:10:08.680 surprised like oh but you didn't tell me or anything 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:11.040 like that. So if that person is still doing it 0:10:11.480 --> 0:10:14.920 even though you told him that you know, it does 0:10:15.000 --> 0:10:17.160 actually bother you and it hurts you when you don't 0:10:17.640 --> 0:10:21.400 you don't like it, then obviously then that's an other issues. 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:26.160 But you know, at least people you know knows they 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:30.800 know right away. Okay, thank you, thank you so much. 0:10:30.840 --> 0:10:34.080 I think that's a Yeah, that's great advice. I try 0:10:34.200 --> 0:10:36.720 and I guess I guess we're sticking to it or 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:39.960 I'll be looking for a new place to with. I 0:10:39.960 --> 0:10:43.560 hope it's just gonna be like, you know, babbing him. 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:46.440 That didn't realize it, but that way, I mean, it's 0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:49.080 the best way to you know, when you're open with 0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:53.760 someone there, you need to be able to talk like 0:10:53.800 --> 0:10:56.160 freely and and let the people know like all you 0:10:56.240 --> 0:10:58.440 feeling and good or bad. You know, it's not always 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:06.120 in a good way, but he's you know, everyone knows. Awesome. 0:11:06.280 --> 0:11:10.880 Thank you so much. I appreciate it. You're welcome. Hey, 0:11:10.960 --> 0:11:14.640 call to men. How are you hi? I'm okay, How 0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:19.560 are you good? What's your question? I'm gonna try to 0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:25.400 help you. Thank you. Um. So, I'm currently single, um, 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:28.320 but I have a friends with benefits man in my 0:11:28.400 --> 0:11:33.080 life right now. Um. Well, recently he's told me that 0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:36.840 he loved me. But I'm so confused if he loves 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:43.400 me as a friend or as a girlfriend. It's literally 0:11:43.559 --> 0:11:46.320 I mean, I've heard a lot of the story, and 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:49.080 you know, obviously we all have a past, but I 0:11:49.160 --> 0:11:52.839 think that's that's what happened most of the time. Uh, 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:56.400 Like friend foods benefits only war for so long it's 0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:58.679 really right when I actually people can keep it that 0:11:58.760 --> 0:12:03.040 way because I feel like eventually someone starts feeling, start 0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:07.000 having feeling for each other. So my guests will be 0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:10.960 that he actually likes you more than just a friendly 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:16.679 benefits and that he actually I hope that, you know, 0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:21.120 maybe something more could happen with you. Yeah, I'm just 0:12:21.200 --> 0:12:24.400 not sure how I feel now because I'm not sure 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:26.640 if I have feelings for him, and I just don't 0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:29.920 know how to bring it up to him. The only 0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:33.079 thing is like this is, um, it's gonna be you 0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:36.199 that's gonna have to figure it out, because I mean, 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:39.319 you can obviously have a conversation with him and everything. 0:12:39.360 --> 0:12:41.680 But the problem is like usually it's often that in 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:46.560 those situations only one of the person start to a 0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:50.680 feeling and then I mean it does happen sometimes that 0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:54.200 you know, people get into of ship and everything. But um, 0:12:54.280 --> 0:12:57.160 the problem is, like you gonna need to figure this 0:12:57.200 --> 0:13:01.000 out because then you know that at that point it's 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:04.280 almost for him. Every single time you're gonna see him, 0:13:04.280 --> 0:13:06.400 it's not going to be used a friend with benefits. 0:13:06.440 --> 0:13:08.760 It's gonna want more and more and more, you know 0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:13.320 what I mean. Yeah, that makes sense. Thank you, Thank 0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:19.480 You're welcome. Hi, it's domain. How are you good? How 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:25.440 are you doing good? I'm good? Thank you. What's your question? Yeah? 0:13:25.600 --> 0:13:29.000 So I just started dating a guy and I really 0:13:29.000 --> 0:13:31.960 like him, but I see who he is friends with 0:13:32.000 --> 0:13:35.600 on Instagram and there are a lot of Instagram model 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:39.360 girls who he hangs out with. And it's mostly because 0:13:39.360 --> 0:13:42.079 his sisters are very pretty as well and hang out 0:13:42.120 --> 0:13:44.720 with that kind of crowd. And I hate to admit it, 0:13:44.760 --> 0:13:47.560 but it makes me feel insecure because I am not 0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:50.160 that type and I don't portray myself that way on 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:53.040 social media. Is this is the thought that I should 0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:54.800 just like get out of my head because he was 0:13:54.880 --> 0:13:59.320 choosing to date me rather than them or I don't know, 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:03.400 really strike me. Obviously there's some truth in it. Yes, 0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:07.640 I think you should like also like be confident in 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:11.840 yourself because obviously he's setting you, not them, you know 0:14:11.840 --> 0:14:15.800 what I mean. You know, if he didn't want to 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:18.720 date you, then obviously would I've got Jackie. So but 0:14:18.880 --> 0:14:21.560 also what's important it's for him to make sure that 0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:24.560 you respect you. So yes, you can hang up with 0:14:24.640 --> 0:14:27.520 like anyone he wants or models or Instagram with it 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:29.760 or whatever. It is, but as long as he show 0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:32.960 you respect and and you know it's important for him 0:14:33.000 --> 0:14:36.080 to you know, show you that you don't need to 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:38.600 worry about it. Yes, you know he's getting you, but 0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:40.840 you know he needs to also you know, makes you 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:46.520 feel comfortable, and that that would be my best advice 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:50.200 from him to do to you. Okay, thank you very much, 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:54.520 of course I n in it. Men, who are you? 0:14:55.240 --> 0:15:04.120 Hire you? I'm good? Thank you? How can I help you? Yeah? So, um, 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:13.400 I'm a newly wed a couple of months actually, thank you. Um. 0:15:13.440 --> 0:15:17.200 But honestly, lately, I feel like my husband and I 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:20.680 that's what weird to say. But it's great, but very 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:26.360 had any time together. So he just started a new job, 0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:31.880 um as an engineer as well. Um, but it's taking 0:15:32.000 --> 0:15:35.960 up a lot of his time, and um, you know 0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:39.360 he's putting an extra hours. We both are actually because 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:42.800 we're trying to save to buy a house together. Um. 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.400 And so I know he's putting in the overtime for 0:15:45.560 --> 0:15:49.080 us and for that. UM, but I just feel like 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:54.560 he's spending too much time away from me, and so 0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:57.920 I'm just like trying to figure out how I can 0:15:57.960 --> 0:16:00.480 bring that up to him and how I can bring 0:16:00.560 --> 0:16:03.800 up that we need you know, more us time and 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:08.320 this new bag. I completely actually understand your situation because 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:12.800 but we we live in this situation. We've me and 0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:16.360 my wife actually you know constantly, so we just walk 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:19.320 so much constantly, both of us that we don't see 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:20.920 it was that we barely see it to all like 0:16:21.000 --> 0:16:23.720 every day like just literally like an hour or two, 0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:27.840 not even because I do baterly because we have super early, 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:30.600 are come home late and she's there because she has 0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:34.920 clients overseas. So um, what I would bring it to 0:16:35.000 --> 0:16:37.680 him is that you know, you're super grateful that you 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:41.400 know obviously is doing this for you guys, because it's 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:44.160 amazing that he's trying to save you know, and work more. 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:49.520 But what alsoy it needs to be careful is that 0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:54.000 you don't want to to do more something to take 0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:57.200 away from you know, your couple. So do more, like 0:16:57.320 --> 0:17:00.240 you know, work more to do something you know as 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:03.440 a buying house, but take away or so from you 0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:07.679 as you as a couple. So what personally we do 0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:11.080 as we don't see each other that often, we're trying 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:14.000 to take like every like every two or three weeks, 0:17:14.080 --> 0:17:17.040 like try to just take like the weekend like two 0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:20.119 days or like even sometimes we live on the Saturday 0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:23.439 morning and come back on Sunday night. Just like go 0:17:24.119 --> 0:17:26.240 and spend two day even sometimes you can just be 0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:28.280 like an hour away or like an hour and like 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:30.560 super close from where you guys live around aware, but 0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:33.240 you know, and just go spend the day like a 0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:35.800 day and a half two days with him, and then 0:17:36.920 --> 0:17:39.520 as he works the best, like it resets everything and 0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:42.040 we just enjoyed and you enjoy so much more the 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:45.200 time even though it's short with that person, because it's 0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:47.960 not that often that it happens, so you enjoy so 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:50.080 much more. And then that way, it keeps you go, 0:17:50.320 --> 0:17:53.400 guys going, because you know that you know you still 0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:56.639 have those you still can make that little you know, 0:17:56.960 --> 0:18:01.280 um that effort like to spend time with your partner 0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:03.960 because it's important to keep that in a relation ship, 0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:08.400 you know, right, and to like to continue to date 0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:11.480 your husband exactly like yeah, and then if possible, Like 0:18:11.560 --> 0:18:13.720 I don't know how hard it is. It's we're always 0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:16.520 trying to do we we do it sometimes, but it 0:18:16.640 --> 0:18:18.800 has but like maybe you know, try to do at 0:18:18.840 --> 0:18:23.600 least like try to try to say, like let's do 0:18:23.760 --> 0:18:28.080 like one day pay a week or you know, at 0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:30.200 least we're going to date for one one day a 0:18:30.240 --> 0:18:33.000 week and then every three weeks, let's do like a weekend, 0:18:33.359 --> 0:18:36.080 you know, maybe do that type, like try to do 0:18:36.160 --> 0:18:39.520 something like you know that one day a week, you know. 0:18:39.720 --> 0:18:42.720 I think everyone can try to figure out like one 0:18:42.800 --> 0:18:44.960 day a week to do just a date like for 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:47.239 a couple of hours, and then once ever we like 0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:49.240 oh once a month, like you know what you do 0:18:49.359 --> 0:18:52.840 like a weekend somewhere for like two days. That way, 0:18:52.880 --> 0:18:56.680 I think everyone can make this work, you know. And 0:18:56.680 --> 0:19:00.159 and uh any died you know, since we're doing is 0:19:00.240 --> 0:19:03.360 my wife did help us a lot, so I'm sure 0:19:03.440 --> 0:19:07.080 we'd help you guys a lot. Yeah, okay, thank you, 0:19:07.320 --> 0:19:11.400 just carving out some time. Yeah, great, thank you so much. 0:19:11.680 --> 0:19:14.439 You're welcome. I hope it's gonna it's gonna work. He 0:19:14.520 --> 0:19:20.840 works for us, so yeah, I hope finger cous but yeah, 0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:23.119 it's Romain. Who are you? I'm good? How are you? 0:19:23.480 --> 0:19:27.960 I'm good? Thank you? Okay, So my question is a 0:19:28.000 --> 0:19:31.159 little backstory. Um So, I've been with my boyfriend for 0:19:31.240 --> 0:19:34.920 about five months and we just had our first fight 0:19:35.280 --> 0:19:38.479 and it just kind of seems like our communicationous. Our 0:19:38.520 --> 0:19:40.760 communication style is kind of different when it comes to 0:19:40.760 --> 0:19:43.680 having tough conversations about our feelings, and it just seems 0:19:43.720 --> 0:19:47.160 like we don't match up. And I'm struggling because any 0:19:47.160 --> 0:19:50.240 time I do bring up my feelings, I feel I 0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:53.680 just kind of feel dismissed. And we get along great otherwise, 0:19:53.720 --> 0:19:56.360 but in those moments, it just I just feel really 0:19:56.359 --> 0:19:58.320 discouraged and bumps me out, And I don't know what 0:19:58.359 --> 0:20:01.560 to do because I feel like I'm for him, but 0:20:01.720 --> 0:20:05.160 just wish we can change are I don't know fighting style. 0:20:06.200 --> 0:20:11.800 Do you think there's a chance for change working exactly? What? Exactly? Uh, 0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:13.879 it's like the way when you bring up your feeling 0:20:14.000 --> 0:20:17.480 that he is writing bad to like back to it, 0:20:18.400 --> 0:20:21.840 he just he like, like, so my our fight was 0:20:22.359 --> 0:20:24.040 kind of seemed like he was flirting with a girl 0:20:24.080 --> 0:20:26.160 at a bar, and like I totally owned that I 0:20:26.200 --> 0:20:28.280 was cheated out of my last relationships, so I know 0:20:28.480 --> 0:20:31.800 that like I have that that I have that resentment 0:20:31.880 --> 0:20:34.560 or of that fearum, but he just kind of brushed 0:20:34.560 --> 0:20:35.880 it up like it was nothing. I was just being 0:20:35.920 --> 0:20:38.280 friendly and like anytime I kind of bring up my feelings, 0:20:38.280 --> 0:20:41.239 it's just he kind of it seems like he kind 0:20:41.280 --> 0:20:42.840 of shuts down a little bit and doesn't really know 0:20:42.880 --> 0:20:44.040 how to deal with it, so he just kind of 0:20:44.040 --> 0:20:48.400 dismisses it. Yeah, well, after yes, it's good to talk 0:20:48.440 --> 0:20:51.119 about the past, but also you know, it's not because 0:20:51.160 --> 0:20:52.879 you've been honest about your past that he has to 0:20:53.080 --> 0:20:55.240 you know, put a stickare on you and seeing like, oh, 0:20:55.280 --> 0:20:58.760 but you did that or whatever. So but what's important 0:20:58.800 --> 0:21:04.720 it's like, you know, whenever it's like you maybe explained 0:21:04.760 --> 0:21:09.040 to him in a way that you know, you you're 0:21:09.080 --> 0:21:12.239 trying to let him know, but you're feeling before you know, 0:21:12.359 --> 0:21:14.239 it gets to a point that you get hurt. And 0:21:14.280 --> 0:21:17.600 then you know because obviously if that was this case 0:21:18.200 --> 0:21:20.399 and he was actually coming to you and then you know, 0:21:20.440 --> 0:21:22.320 trying to bring his feeling that you know, he actually 0:21:22.320 --> 0:21:25.080 didn't like the way you where with someone or whatever, 0:21:25.840 --> 0:21:29.679 you know, uh, and actually didn't care and you know 0:21:29.800 --> 0:21:33.679 tell him like basically that nothing was happening. Uh, maybe 0:21:34.200 --> 0:21:36.520 maybe trying to find a way to make him like 0:21:36.720 --> 0:21:42.720 take be in your position and to h to have 0:21:42.840 --> 0:21:45.879 men understand that you know you would most likely would 0:21:45.880 --> 0:21:47.920 like you to you know, listen to him. And then 0:21:47.920 --> 0:21:50.840 if there's something that actually did bothn't him that you 0:21:50.880 --> 0:21:54.159 were doing that. I'm sure he would love you to 0:21:54.280 --> 0:21:56.320 be here to listen and to hopefully, you know, be 0:21:56.359 --> 0:21:59.119 able to change that. So it goes both when or 0:21:59.200 --> 0:22:01.960 essentially it's not only one way. I feel like the 0:22:02.080 --> 0:22:04.840 importent for a person that to be here and to listen, 0:22:04.960 --> 0:22:08.000 because otherwise if it only goes one way, then there's 0:22:08.000 --> 0:22:10.879 no point. It's not gonna go anywhere obviously, right, So 0:22:10.920 --> 0:22:12.919 maybe like the next time that there's something like this, 0:22:13.119 --> 0:22:17.160 maybe approach it like maybe first could you imagine yourself 0:22:17.200 --> 0:22:20.800 in my position and like go that way with it? Yes, 0:22:20.840 --> 0:22:23.399 but if I was you actually don't wait for the 0:22:23.480 --> 0:22:27.400 next time, because usually that's the poem. It's like I'm 0:22:27.400 --> 0:22:30.160 not saying, don't talk to about it like right now, 0:22:30.280 --> 0:22:32.240 right now because it might be a little fresh, but 0:22:32.400 --> 0:22:34.760 don't wait for it to happen like maybe you start 0:22:34.800 --> 0:22:37.640 to bring it up a little bit before. So it's 0:22:37.720 --> 0:22:40.040 one that about it because you know if you wait 0:22:40.119 --> 0:22:43.200 for like the moment, it's gonna either beyond the differensive 0:22:43.320 --> 0:22:45.520 and then it's not gonna try to listen. I was 0:22:45.520 --> 0:22:48.400 gonna say that you just think that because of this happened. 0:22:48.800 --> 0:22:51.720 But if we actually when nothing happened, and you said, 0:22:51.760 --> 0:22:53.159 like you know what I was thinking, like, you know, 0:22:53.320 --> 0:22:55.439 just I would like to be able to express more 0:22:55.480 --> 0:22:57.920 my feeling and stuff like that, then you know, most 0:22:57.960 --> 0:23:01.040 likely it will be like more willing to listen at 0:23:01.080 --> 0:23:03.360 that point because he knows nothing is happening, so it's 0:23:03.400 --> 0:23:07.320 not like you know, anything bad, and maybe it will 0:23:07.400 --> 0:23:10.199 be more you know, you know, willing to listen and 0:23:10.240 --> 0:23:14.240 then understand even better. Okay, yeah that makes sense. Yeah, 0:23:14.400 --> 0:23:16.480 so do it more like in a neutral time, not 0:23:16.640 --> 0:23:21.720 necessarily when yeah, yeah, exactly, and people maybe you know, 0:23:21.760 --> 0:23:24.399 if you feel like and then yeah, I try to 0:23:24.440 --> 0:23:26.960 bring those feeling actually at that point you know, like 0:23:27.000 --> 0:23:29.720 you know, you know it those was on me if 0:23:29.760 --> 0:23:31.359 you know you do this or you do that, you know, 0:23:31.640 --> 0:23:33.960 and let me know and ask him also if these 0:23:33.960 --> 0:23:37.840 things that was on him. That way you can understand us. 0:23:37.840 --> 0:23:41.000 So at your point and you know, to understand you 0:23:41.080 --> 0:23:44.240 maybe a little bit better on you know, on the poll, 0:23:44.400 --> 0:23:46.280 on what you like, what you're gonna like, and then 0:23:46.680 --> 0:23:50.400 you know both ways. Okay, that makes sense. Thank you. 0:23:50.880 --> 0:23:55.119 I will take your advice. He's gonna help, all right. 0:23:55.200 --> 0:23:58.480 Thank you so much, thank you. All right, So that's 0:23:58.480 --> 0:24:00.680 it for our colors. We're gonna take a quick break 0:24:00.760 --> 0:24:12.840 and come back. Okay, So welcome back to home and Springs. 0:24:12.960 --> 0:24:16.040 Um and here is some qu and a with me. 0:24:17.480 --> 0:24:21.520 So the first one, Romane, A lot of people knew 0:24:21.600 --> 0:24:24.520 you as a husband of Mary figure as fund sellings 0:24:24.560 --> 0:24:27.679 and said, how did you meet? So we made so 0:24:27.800 --> 0:24:31.879 when I came to work in the U s she um, 0:24:31.920 --> 0:24:34.840 she was when we're a friend of m the person 0:24:34.880 --> 0:24:37.159 I was coming to work for. So we're talking for 0:24:37.200 --> 0:24:41.280 about like six months mores. And then when I moved 0:24:41.280 --> 0:24:43.320 to the US, then obviously she was starting to show 0:24:43.359 --> 0:24:48.480