1
00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:04,120
Speaker 1: Have you ever been interviewed by anyone from the FBI? No,

2
00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,840
Speaker 1: not yet, I have several times.

3
00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:07,360
Speaker 2: Wait what.

4
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:14,760
Speaker 3: GAMSI media charge.

5
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:28,200
Speaker 2: Rory, here we go. Do you think you've committed any

6
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,600
Speaker 2: crimes today? Today?

7
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:33,839
Speaker 1: Hmmm, I don't think I have today. But if you

8
00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:37,120
Speaker 1: mean in my lifetime, several, that's how I got this gig.

9
00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:39,400
Speaker 2: So how many crimes in your life do you think

10
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:47,400
Speaker 2: you've committed? I don't know. Three? Wow? Only three? I mean,

11
00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:49,160
Speaker 2: I mean don't I don't.

12
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,600
Speaker 1: Even know what a cool number is. I sort of

13
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,199
Speaker 1: want to lie so that people are like, wow, this

14
00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:56,120
Speaker 1: guy's edgy. Like I've stolen from seven to eleven five times,

15
00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:57,520
Speaker 1: twigs every time.

16
00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:58,840
Speaker 2: Have you ever shoplifted?

17
00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:02,640
Speaker 1: I think I have stolen a candy bar in my youth,

18
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,440
Speaker 1: but nothing that anyone would ever care about.

19
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,200
Speaker 2: Well, if three is your number, according to at least

20
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:09,959
Speaker 2: one guy we're going to talk about this week, you

21
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:13,080
Speaker 2: are severely underestimating the number of crimes you don't even

22
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:16,400
Speaker 2: know you've probably committed. Ooh, like by a lot. Oh

23
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,759
Speaker 2: I like that. Just guess how many crimes a forty

24
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:23,200
Speaker 2: four year old person has potentially committed on average over

25
00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:23,800
Speaker 2: a lifetime.

26
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,440
Speaker 1: Oh, I feel like it's well, they must be high.

27
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:27,120
Speaker 2: I don't know.

28
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:30,520
Speaker 1: One hundred is that crazy? Or is that is that

29
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:31,920
Speaker 1: crazy high or crazy low?

30
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:37,080
Speaker 2: The answer is forty eight and eighty. No, Well, at

31
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:42,280
Speaker 2: least I was close. According to an author named Harvey Silverglate,

32
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:46,640
Speaker 2: the average person commits three federal crimes a day.

33
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,240
Speaker 1: I think Harvey has just committed a lot of crimes

34
00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,360
Speaker 1: and he's trying to make us all feel bad with him.

35
00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,600
Speaker 2: Or he might be promoting his book, which is titled

36
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,920
Speaker 2: three Felonies a Day. That is literally the title three

37
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,040
Speaker 2: Felonies a Day. I like a title that gets right

38
00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:02,120
Speaker 2: to the point. Man. I don't know if that statistic

39
00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:03,760
Speaker 2: is true, but I've done some reading, and I take

40
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,760
Speaker 2: Harvey's larger point, which is that we all do commit

41
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,800
Speaker 2: a lot of crimes without realizing it. Like we sometimes

42
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:13,200
Speaker 2: roll stop signs, we trespass on federal property. I mean,

43
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,239
Speaker 2: have you ever flushed your wife's weed down the toilet

44
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,520
Speaker 2: because you were worried the cops were coming by? I

45
00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:21,079
Speaker 2: just was trying to help her get off weed. Well,

46
00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:25,600
Speaker 2: that's obstruction of justice. Or maybe you've picked up an

47
00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:27,920
Speaker 2: eagle feather on your last hike in Vermont because you

48
00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:30,200
Speaker 2: wanted to put it under the band of your favorite fedora.

49
00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:33,040
Speaker 1: Oh my god, were you watching me all summer?

50
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,360
Speaker 2: That's a violation of the Migratory Bird Treaty Act. And

51
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,160
Speaker 2: there are no exemptions for feathers that fell off naturally,

52
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:42,880
Speaker 2: which is called multing rory okay, or from feathers from

53
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,640
Speaker 2: birds that died of natural causes, like if it flew

54
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:49,120
Speaker 2: into the sliding glass door of your luxurious Colorado lake house.

55
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,480
Speaker 1: This guy sounds like the ultimate tattle tale of all time.

56
00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,240
Speaker 2: It's also illegal to spit on a sidewalk in Virginia,

57
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,960
Speaker 2: and it's a salt if you spit on someone. Oh

58
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,760
Speaker 2: my god, and hoo boy. Cheating adultery is a felony

59
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,799
Speaker 2: in Michigan, Oklahoma, and Wisconsin. So if you're going to

60
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,640
Speaker 2: have an affair while you're out there on the road,

61
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,400
Speaker 2: keep that list in mind, because we don't have the

62
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,680
Speaker 2: budget to bail you out in Milwaukee or Tulsa. This

63
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:12,240
Speaker 2: is good to know.

64
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,440
Speaker 1: So I changed my I've only committed two crimes my

65
00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:15,960
Speaker 1: whole life.

66
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:20,680
Speaker 2: Are you intrigued or frightened? I mean, I'm dazzled. This

67
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,560
Speaker 2: makes me. I hope all.

68
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,239
Speaker 1: Our listeners are like, all right, maybe I'm more of

69
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:25,639
Speaker 1: a bad boy than I thought.

70
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:29,119
Speaker 2: I was converting bad boys one episode of a time.

71
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:31,919
Speaker 2: That's right. Well, I could go on and on, Rory,

72
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,640
Speaker 2: and I will at great length about the many crimes

73
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,680
Speaker 2: you are probably committing after the break. This week on

74
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:55,840
Speaker 2: crime Less, Everyone's a felon literally bump bump bu Hello,

75
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:58,560
Speaker 2: and welcome back to Crimeless, the podcast that celebrates the

76
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:03,200
Speaker 2: amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals and helps identify

77
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,600
Speaker 2: miscreants and scoff laws in our.

78
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,920
Speaker 1: Mist Like my co host, I'm Josh Dean and I'm

79
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:09,760
Speaker 1: Rory Scovel.

80
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,040
Speaker 2: I got to start this week by reading a little

81
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:14,720
Speaker 2: bit of the introduction from Harvey's book Rory. Okay, I'm

82
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,599
Speaker 2: quoting him here. It is only a slight exaggeration to

83
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,320
Speaker 2: say that the average busy professional in this country wakes

84
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,839
Speaker 2: up in the morning, goes to work, comes home, takes

85
00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:25,359
Speaker 2: care of personal and family obligations, and then goes to sleep,

86
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,839
Speaker 2: unaware that he or she has likely committed several federal

87
00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:33,080
Speaker 2: crimes that day. Why. The answer lies in the very

88
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,039
Speaker 2: nature of modern federal criminal laws, which have become not

89
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:40,120
Speaker 2: only exceedingly numerous, and broad, but also impossibly vague.

90
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,760
Speaker 1: That's exactly the world I always dreamed I could live in.

91
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,880
Speaker 2: So it seems like Harvey's point is that it's not

92
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,800
Speaker 2: so much that we're all bad people, that there's so

93
00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:51,240
Speaker 2: many fucking laws that we don't even know that we're

94
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:54,479
Speaker 2: breaking them. They've overdone it. Yeah. So now Harvey's book

95
00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,760
Speaker 2: is you might have sniffed out as somewhat political. He's

96
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,479
Speaker 2: not crazy about the long and invasive reach of Uncle Sam.

97
00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:01,720
Speaker 2: Is that we have way too many laws, and lots

98
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,920
Speaker 2: of them are stupid, and that if we were actually

99
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,000
Speaker 2: enforcing these laws, we'd all be in jail. And I

100
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,280
Speaker 2: guess the country would be run by tiny children and dogs.

101
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:13,680
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, maybe I do like Harvey.

102
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,039
Speaker 2: After all, how well would it be like out there,

103
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:17,800
Speaker 2: just kids and dogs running it?

104
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:19,880
Speaker 1: I bet you no one would care that I swiped

105
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,839
Speaker 1: that candy bar. If a kid was in charge, they'd

106
00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,320
Speaker 1: be like, of course you did. That's the only way

107
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:24,640
Speaker 1: to live.

108
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,320
Speaker 2: I'd like to read you one more passage if I could,

109
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,599
Speaker 2: or part of it, and this is I think a

110
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,400
Speaker 2: very interesting example of how bad things are.

111
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:33,520
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll allow it.

112
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,919
Speaker 2: At the Federal Prosecutor's office in the Southern District of

113
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,360
Speaker 2: New York. The staff, over beer and pretzels, used to

114
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,480
Speaker 2: play a darkly humorous game. Junior and senior prosecutors would

115
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,800
Speaker 2: sit around and someone would name a random celebrity, say

116
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,560
Speaker 2: Mother Teresa or John Lennon. It would then be up

117
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,600
Speaker 2: to the junior prosecutors to figure out a plausible crime

118
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:52,560
Speaker 2: for which to indict him or her.

119
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:57,880
Speaker 1: So, if anyone listening was curious if prosecutors were nerdy

120
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:01,480
Speaker 1: when they went out drinking, you now no they are.

121
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,520
Speaker 2: Or how fucked you are if you're ever arrested, because

122
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,640
Speaker 2: they all know how to convict Mother Teresa. Yeah, yeah, Yeah,

123
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,360
Speaker 2: that's what they're doing in their spare time, just thinking

124
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:13,520
Speaker 2: of ways to convict Mother Teresa. Yeah. So it turns

125
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:16,679
Speaker 2: out that they they're versed in like this incredibly broad

126
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:20,080
Speaker 2: spectrum of laws. Crimes like false statements, which is a

127
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,440
Speaker 2: fell on the up to five years, obstructing the males,

128
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:26,360
Speaker 2: five years, false pretenses on the high seas also five years.

129
00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:28,960
Speaker 2: And the trick and the skill lay in finding the

130
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,560
Speaker 2: more obscure offenses that fit the character of the celebrity

131
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,440
Speaker 2: and carry the toughest sentences. The result, however, was inevitable

132
00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:37,520
Speaker 2: prison time, so every time they were able to do it. Yeah.

133
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,640
Speaker 2: Obstructing the males, of course, is US Code one seven

134
00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:44,200
Speaker 2: oh one, also known as obstruction of males generally. I

135
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:47,039
Speaker 2: did not know that the US government said males plural

136
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:47,760
Speaker 2: for male.

137
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,000
Speaker 1: Huh, that's true.

138
00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:52,880
Speaker 2: Is that proper? In the loss? It is? I don't

139
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,800
Speaker 2: think it is in English, though, I'm going to run

140
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,960
Speaker 2: down to check the males start saying it. I am

141
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,680
Speaker 2: fully intend to now, and you can educate when your

142
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:01,839
Speaker 2: wife says, what are you talking about?

143
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:06,200
Speaker 1: I'm going to check the mails. Oh oh, you're going

144
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,520
Speaker 1: to a strip club. Yes, I'm going to check out

145
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:13,280
Speaker 1: the mails. See Chippendale's Chippendale's mails.

146
00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:16,880
Speaker 2: So that law actually refers to anyone who knowingly and

147
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:19,880
Speaker 2: willfully obstructs or retards the passage of the mail. These

148
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,040
Speaker 2: are some weird word choices in here, which could mean

149
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,640
Speaker 2: throwing out mail that comes to your house for previous tenants,

150
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:28,200
Speaker 2: even junk mail. Ooh yeah, we've all done that. Totally

151
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:31,320
Speaker 2: guilty of that. Yep. Using someone else's Wi Fi network

152
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:34,800
Speaker 2: without their permission, which the law calls unsecured WiFi. That's

153
00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,560
Speaker 2: a crime. Most places I've sort of done that. I'm

154
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,520
Speaker 2: totally guilty there too. I think we should also play

155
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,680
Speaker 2: our own version of this game, though. Okay, let's call

156
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:50,120
Speaker 2: it Crimeless Confessions. Okay, we'll all go around and confess

157
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,440
Speaker 2: to the most exciting crime we've committed that is safely

158
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,080
Speaker 2: outside the statute of limitations.

159
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:57,559
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll all go around. Just the two of us

160
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,720
Speaker 1: made it sound like we have a giant bondfire a going.

161
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:05,680
Speaker 2: Lane's gonna play. Maybe Ewent will jump in. I'm back Lane,

162
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,040
Speaker 2: is there? There? There she is? I did not sign

163
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,239
Speaker 2: up for this too, bad lamb.

164
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:12,679
Speaker 3: We can't add them.

165
00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:16,040
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna start. I'll set the table. So back

166
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,600
Speaker 2: in late September two thousand and one, I was a

167
00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:20,680
Speaker 2: young reporter and I went to California to do a

168
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,480
Speaker 2: story and I ended up at a party where someone

169
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:26,400
Speaker 2: gave me some magic mushrooms. Okay, you're familiar. I know

170
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,800
Speaker 2: you're a fan, so you will understand that those were

171
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,760
Speaker 2: kind of a novelty for a resident of New York

172
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,800
Speaker 2: City at the time, and I decided I wanted to

173
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,160
Speaker 2: keep them. But I wasn't so stupid to try and

174
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,560
Speaker 2: fly home with the shrooms on me, So I mailed

175
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:40,640
Speaker 2: them in an unmarked envelope with no return address to

176
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:41,400
Speaker 2: my office.

177
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:46,800
Speaker 1: Well, okay, I was young. I was just a young reporter.

178
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:49,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, this seemed extremely not risky. I got tons of

179
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,959
Speaker 2: mail at the magazine that employed me, and shrooms have

180
00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:54,719
Speaker 2: no smell, They're not like weed, and no one was

181
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:58,320
Speaker 2: scanning packages for dried fungus back then. So I fly home,

182
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,120
Speaker 2: and what happens in immediately after I returned? Do you

183
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,360
Speaker 2: remember late September two thousand and one, Rory?

184
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:08,160
Speaker 1: I happened to Yeah, I happened to sort of remember

185
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:09,160
Speaker 1: that timeframe.

186
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:13,360
Speaker 2: So after nine to eleven, the country's on edge, and

187
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:16,760
Speaker 2: then something happens when someone out there starts mailing spores

188
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:20,280
Speaker 2: of anthrax to media people, including several people at NBC News,

189
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,679
Speaker 2: which is based at thirty Rock on sixth Avenue in

190
00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:25,199
Speaker 2: New York City. Do you know where my magazine was based, Rory,

191
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:32,400
Speaker 2: I'm willing to bet much money on sixth Avenue, right

192
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,840
Speaker 2: fucking next to NBC. Yeah, So just a recap. I

193
00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:39,720
Speaker 2: mailed weird organic material that was in reality a schedule

194
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,560
Speaker 2: one controlled substance to myself in an unmarked envelope the

195
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:45,920
Speaker 2: only week in American history when someone else was terrorizing

196
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,559
Speaker 2: the media by mailing weird organic material and unmarked envelopes.

197
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,600
Speaker 1: I mean to get away with it and say that

198
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:55,040
Speaker 1: you didn't mail it to yourself. This actually, I feel

199
00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:57,400
Speaker 1: like this is actually kind of smart, like good timing

200
00:09:57,440 --> 00:09:57,840
Speaker 1: in a way.

201
00:09:58,160 --> 00:09:59,680
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, well.

202
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,200
Speaker 1: Because of a it gets there, you go, oh my god,

203
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,960
Speaker 1: someone's trying to attack me too.

204
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,600
Speaker 2: Oh I didn't think about that. I just cracked my pants.

205
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,160
Speaker 2: That's usually a giveaway. So for like a week there,

206
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,960
Speaker 2: I walked into work every day assuming I was going

207
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,839
Speaker 2: to be fired and arrested for receiving psilocybin schedule on

208
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:20,000
Speaker 2: control substance, or possibly arrested for terrorisms. Fortunately the story

209
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,640
Speaker 2: has a happy ending because a week or so later,

210
00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:24,200
Speaker 2: the shrooms just arrived and no one cared, which was

211
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:25,480
Speaker 2: such a fucking relief.

212
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,559
Speaker 1: Did it look like the envelope had been tampered with?

213
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,720
Speaker 2: No, And that's the thing I was Like. Then I

214
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,839
Speaker 2: started to worry, like, was the postal service actually a

215
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:38,560
Speaker 2: screeningmail during the anthrax attacks? Like what if it happened anthrax? Is?

216
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:41,240
Speaker 1: Anthraxis kind of powdery though, right it is?

217
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:41,680
Speaker 2: Yeah?

218
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:44,880
Speaker 1: Okay, I mean this being more of a I don't know,

219
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:49,120
Speaker 1: solid structured item inside of an envelope with caps and stems.

220
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,480
Speaker 1: They probably, I bet they knew exactly what it was,

221
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,360
Speaker 1: but they're like, you know what, the world's crazy right now.

222
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,640
Speaker 1: Let this guy get high.

223
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, let this guy have this. So in this case,

224
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:02,280
Speaker 2: I violated a series of law. Possessing the schedule on drugs. Obviously,

225
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,400
Speaker 2: sending them in the mail is a form of distribution,

226
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,160
Speaker 2: and using the US mail to do that distribution makes

227
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,280
Speaker 2: it a federal crime, and both the sender and recipient

228
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:14,640
Speaker 2: can be charged. I was both. Yeah, all right, Roy,

229
00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:14,960
Speaker 2: can you.

230
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,720
Speaker 1: Talk about your only way out of that is to

231
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,920
Speaker 1: be like, I'm also a member of the media. Someone

232
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:19,920
Speaker 1: must be after me.

233
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:21,080
Speaker 2: They're looking for me.

234
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,520
Speaker 1: So, in other words, you don't get arrested somehow. Now

235
00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,920
Speaker 1: in the office, everyone's like, Josh has got clout, like

236
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,840
Speaker 1: people are trying to kill him. That's how edgy of

237
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,280
Speaker 1: a reporter he is. He's found something.

238
00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:33,200
Speaker 2: It was one of the most scared I've ever been.

239
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:37,280
Speaker 1: I don't have anything that's gonna be nothing top that story.

240
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:45,040
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm such a well behaved person. I think

241
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,840
Speaker 1: all mine are boring. Other than you know, underage drinking.

242
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:53,080
Speaker 1: I've definitely trespassed. I've definitely done illegal drugs that, by

243
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,440
Speaker 1: today's standards are wildly legal.

244
00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:58,360
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't know that I've ever done anything that

245
00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,880
Speaker 2: was so I feel like I nerd.

246
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,880
Speaker 1: I feel like my biggest crime is I drove a

247
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:04,840
Speaker 1: rental car and I wasn't listed.

248
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,720
Speaker 2: Well, I thought you were going to say, across the

249
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:11,960
Speaker 2: border into Canada, Yes, I mean into Canada. Yes.

250
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I don't have anything that I

251
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,680
Speaker 1: feel like really skirted the law or would have ever

252
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:18,600
Speaker 1: led to anything.

253
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:19,000
Speaker 2: I was.

254
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:22,600
Speaker 1: I was a pretty well behaved guy. I wasn't some

255
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:27,120
Speaker 1: junkie sending myself drugs in the mail. I wasn't some

256
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,839
Speaker 1: New York version of you know, Hunter s.

257
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:34,440
Speaker 2: Thompson. Your parents are going to love this episode. We

258
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:39,000
Speaker 2: were so proud, but like we raised a good, good guy. Yeah,

259
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:39,439
Speaker 2: I don't think.

260
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:42,079
Speaker 1: I don't think I have anything that's like all right

261
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,760
Speaker 1: insane like that. I mean, if you do want one,

262
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:50,040
Speaker 1: I underage did rent a mopead. This is actually funny.

263
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:54,160
Speaker 1: I went to on vacation to Nantucket with my friend

264
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:57,720
Speaker 1: Mark Adamson in high school and his family, and I

265
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,760
Speaker 1: think I was fifteen at the time, and you had

266
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,840
Speaker 1: to be sixteen to have a VET to get to

267
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:05,079
Speaker 1: rent a Vespa, And so his dad went to rent

268
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:08,400
Speaker 1: it and then gave me the helmet to drive off

269
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,760
Speaker 1: because now we had it. And I drove right back

270
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,400
Speaker 1: to the place because my helmet didn't fit, and the

271
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,760
Speaker 1: guy goes, well, no, you can't, you can't. Here's a

272
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,000
Speaker 1: new helmet, but you can't drive this. And his dad

273
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,520
Speaker 1: had to come back to put a helmet on and

274
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,520
Speaker 1: then drive off again. And we went one block and

275
00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:23,840
Speaker 1: then he got off and he was like, don't go

276
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:29,560
Speaker 1: back there, don't let them see. Yeah, and so oh, maybe,

277
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,600
Speaker 1: I mean, this is all still so low level. But

278
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:37,360
Speaker 1: I wrecked the moped, destroying the side view, you know,

279
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:41,000
Speaker 1: the mirror that's like, yep, you just screw it out

280
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:44,040
Speaker 1: of the thing. And so we went to another moped

281
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,760
Speaker 1: that wasn't no one was looking, and we unscrewed that

282
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,959
Speaker 1: one and put my broken one on it and then

283
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,280
Speaker 1: put the other one on mine.

284
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:51,760
Speaker 2: So, oh, that's theft.

285
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:56,760
Speaker 1: I have no idea. If we're outside, I think you're safe.

286
00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,800
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm safe now. I mean that was

287
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:01,440
Speaker 1: what thirty years ago.

288
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,640
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure outside the statue of Lemon Tatos. Thank you.

289
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,480
Speaker 1: Okay, yes, but that's why I never really wanted to

290
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,560
Speaker 1: tell anybody that story.

291
00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:09,120
Speaker 2: This is a first.

292
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:12,240
Speaker 1: This is an exclusive. This is a crimeless exclusive. Call

293
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:13,120
Speaker 1: the New York Post.

294
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,960
Speaker 2: No, no, no, Josh. Please all right, Lane, what about

295
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,120
Speaker 2: you got anything we want to confess?

296
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:29,920
Speaker 3: I used to make burner accounts on Twitter and cyberbully celebrities. Yes,

297
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,520
Speaker 3: I think I'm out of the side of the statue Tato.

298
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,040
Speaker 2: Wow, dark Horse over there, Lane.

299
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,040
Speaker 3: It was really not cyber buwling. It was just like bothering.

300
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:40,000
Speaker 3: I would have a lot of time left over during

301
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,000
Speaker 3: finals week because I was like a good student and

302
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,680
Speaker 3: so I didn't have to like cram.

303
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:49,520
Speaker 1: So, just so you know, every cyberbully says, uh no,

304
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:54,400
Speaker 1: it was more like bothering. So what we want names

305
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:56,160
Speaker 1: cyber bothering?

306
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:57,840
Speaker 2: I didn't know bothering.

307
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,200
Speaker 3: The big one that I got a response from was

308
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,440
Speaker 3: Taylor Hicks. Okay from from from American iisle.

309
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,000
Speaker 2: Oh, I I don't think I know who.

310
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:11,600
Speaker 3: Five or sixth winner? Yeah, and then I also would

311
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,480
Speaker 3: do I don't know if you guys you didn't have

312
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,480
Speaker 3: these when you were in college because hold on and

313
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:15,840
Speaker 3: I asked.

314
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,440
Speaker 1: What was the response, like, hey, leave me alone.

315
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:19,720
Speaker 3: He told me to get a grip.

316
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:22,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, even that was peaceful.

317
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,120
Speaker 3: Yeah it's very kind.

318
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, pretty kind, very mellow, chill.

319
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:28,840
Speaker 3: Sorry, Taylor Hicks. I like to apologize.

320
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:29,800
Speaker 2: I don't know.

321
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,840
Speaker 3: I had a lot of caffeine. I'm pretty sure the

322
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,480
Speaker 3: statute limitations on cyber bullying is like three years.

323
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,800
Speaker 2: So like you did, like you didn't check?

324
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:37,600
Speaker 1: Ye I did.

325
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,240
Speaker 3: I was like, I think I can confess this.

326
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:40,240
Speaker 2: It could be longer though.

327
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,560
Speaker 1: For cyber bothering, you have to check that stuff. You

328
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:43,960
Speaker 1: have to be very specific.

329
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,320
Speaker 3: I also would make these Twitter accounts called like, you know,

330
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:50,240
Speaker 3: like crushes. You would you guys didn't have this. You

331
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,520
Speaker 3: have Twitter. So it would be like I went to

332
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,160
Speaker 3: Kent State, it would be KSU Crushes to be like,

333
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:56,920
Speaker 3: oh I have a crush on this kid in my

334
00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,280
Speaker 3: science class, and it would be anonymous. I made one

335
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,400
Speaker 3: that was KSU crutches, and I would just post photos

336
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,120
Speaker 3: of people on crutches on campus.

337
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:06,680
Speaker 2: I don't is that a crime?

338
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:07,880
Speaker 1: Sure, I don't know.

339
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:09,840
Speaker 2: Is it even mean? I don't even know if it's mean.

340
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:13,760
Speaker 1: I think it could be helpful. Yeah, I don't know.

341
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,840
Speaker 3: I was just like, this guy looks. I'd be like, oh,

342
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:18,840
Speaker 3: this guy's this football player must have had a bad practice.

343
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,280
Speaker 1: I like that, you said, Josh, and I didn't have Twitter.

344
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:22,560
Speaker 1: How old do you think we are?

345
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:27,520
Speaker 3: Old? Well, it wasn't. It wasn't around when you were

346
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:27,920
Speaker 3: in college.

347
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,520
Speaker 2: Were you guys are writing on you? It wasn't around

348
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,920
Speaker 2: I was in college. You are sure that is fair? Yeah?

349
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,280
Speaker 1: She was correct about it, and honestly, thank god?

350
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:39,160
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, very specific people on crutches. I don't, I

351
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,280
Speaker 2: don't was it. I can't tell if that joke.

352
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,240
Speaker 3: Just playing words crushes crutches.

353
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,600
Speaker 1: I mean, did you find that there? I mean, maybe

354
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,600
Speaker 1: there's a bigger issue here. And this is the reporter

355
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:50,920
Speaker 1: and Josh that's asking these questions. But why were so

356
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:55,840
Speaker 1: many people on crutches enough to facilitate an entire account

357
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:56,480
Speaker 1: on Twitter?

358
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,560
Speaker 3: I didn't post a lot, but it was a hilly

359
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,080
Speaker 3: campus and it was you know, snowy.

360
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:07,840
Speaker 2: And falls, a lot of slips and falls. All right, well, yeah,

361
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,280
Speaker 2: I think the first part was kind of a crime

362
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:10,920
Speaker 2: cyber blaying.

363
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,439
Speaker 1: I believe is I think you win if this was

364
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:14,840
Speaker 1: a competition, Josh.

365
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, ewayn have you ever violated a weird New Zealand law,

366
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,119
Speaker 2: like you poked fun at Peter Jackson's beard.

367
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,119
Speaker 4: Well, I mean it's funny that you say weird New

368
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:21,760
Speaker 4: Zealand laws.

369
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:22,040
Speaker 2: Are you?

370
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:26,000
Speaker 4: Are you guys aware of how strict the customs laws

371
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,320
Speaker 4: are no New Zealand, like when you cross over into

372
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:32,520
Speaker 4: New Zealand, because New Zealand's a very controlled ecosystem, right,

373
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,959
Speaker 4: we have like no natural predators. There's like no poisonous

374
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:39,200
Speaker 4: sex or anything like that. So bringing anything with blunt

375
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:42,959
Speaker 4: matter into New Zealand is very illegal and a lot

376
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,400
Speaker 4: of people don't realize, like what, I didn't do anything

377
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:49,000
Speaker 4: because I'm a good boy, but my wife didn't realize

378
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,560
Speaker 4: how strict these laws were, and she tried to.

379
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:52,919
Speaker 2: Bring in an alligator.

380
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,439
Speaker 4: No, she made this like really nice wall weaving for

381
00:17:56,520 --> 00:18:00,720
Speaker 4: my parents and just like picked up a twig from

382
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,160
Speaker 4: a park here in New York to like hang it on.

383
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,760
Speaker 4: And so that set off the system because you literally

384
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:10,159
Speaker 4: cannot bring in any organic matter. So they were like,

385
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,119
Speaker 4: what did you you know, why are you trying to

386
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,600
Speaker 4: destroy our country with this stick?

387
00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:17,160
Speaker 2: Yeah? This was New Zealand's nine.

388
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:21,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember twig has hit.

389
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:26,119
Speaker 2: The Tower who talked about Yeah, who can forget? Never forget,

390
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,919
Speaker 2: is what he would always says. N Z Strong. Was

391
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,359
Speaker 2: she thrown into like an interrogation room and.

392
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,240
Speaker 4: No again in classic New Zealan installed, they just they

393
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,040
Speaker 4: let her off without it.

394
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:39,399
Speaker 2: But it does seem like they would be very polite.

395
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, they were, just like they apologized to her, they

396
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,880
Speaker 4: confiscated the stick and then yeah.

397
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,359
Speaker 2: And then they just put that stick in a burned

398
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:47,760
Speaker 2: that thing.

399
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, they don't even care. They make a big deal

400
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,160
Speaker 1: and then they just use it.

401
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,440
Speaker 2: All right, that was fun. We should do that more often.

402
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,879
Speaker 2: That should be an annual occurrence that crimes confessed. Everyone

403
00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,120
Speaker 2: get to work at break some laws.

404
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:00,840
Speaker 1: I'm going to think about more. I'm gonna try to

405
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:02,240
Speaker 1: really dig deeper into my mind.

406
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,760
Speaker 3: I gave up cyber bullying years ago.

407
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,960
Speaker 2: So I'm going to take so many sticks to That's.

408
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,119
Speaker 1: What someone with anonymous burner accounts.

409
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:13,159
Speaker 5: Would say, Oh, well, now I just use them to

410
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:18,040
Speaker 5: observe Yeah, which is also very like satisfying all right,

411
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:30,840
Speaker 5: after the break more stupid laws.

412
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,560
Speaker 2: I could probably fill the rest of the episode and

413
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,800
Speaker 2: many more by simply reciting to you a long list

414
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,800
Speaker 2: of ridiculous laws in America, Like in the nanny state

415
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,240
Speaker 2: of Alabama. You cannot chain your alligator to a fire hydrant,

416
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,560
Speaker 2: you may not drive barefoot, and you may not have

417
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,800
Speaker 2: an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.

418
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,960
Speaker 1: Look, I agree with a lot of these. What's the

419
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,520
Speaker 1: last one, like chaining an alligator to a fire hydrant? Like,

420
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:56,320
Speaker 1: that's just who's trying to do that? That is literally

421
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,360
Speaker 1: that means when someone goes, well, you know, if it's

422
00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:00,280
Speaker 1: a law, it had to happen at least one, Like,

423
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:03,520
Speaker 1: let's not rate laws just because one guy had some

424
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:08,600
Speaker 1: wild ideas. It is Alabama, though, great point, very good point.

425
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,560
Speaker 1: So you're saying this did probably.

426
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:14,800
Speaker 2: Have been quite but it was problematic at some point.

427
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what you're actually I take that. I

428
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:18,120
Speaker 1: retract what I said.

429
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 2: You're right. What about are you anti driving barefoot?

430
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:26,160
Speaker 1: I am not. But I've driven barefoot. Should have fucking

431
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,080
Speaker 1: told that in my bad boy story. But I've driven barefoot.

432
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:32,080
Speaker 1: It doesn't feel right, it doesn't I agree, it doesn't

433
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,840
Speaker 1: feel right on the bottom of your foot to actually

434
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:37,919
Speaker 1: feel the size of the pedal. The accelerator is not

435
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 1: as big as you want it to be.

436
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,639
Speaker 2: I agree, And you're yeah, you're weird. Your toes are

437
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,640
Speaker 2: like wrapping around the pedal. It's just it's not right.

438
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:44,320
Speaker 1: It's not right.

439
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,679
Speaker 2: I'm in favor of that law. Yeah, I do know that.

440
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,479
Speaker 2: In Arkansas it's illegal to buy or sell blue light bulbs.

441
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 2: I have no idea why. Huh. In Washington, d c.

442
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,520
Speaker 2: It is illegal to post a notice in public which

443
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,399
Speaker 2: calls another person a coward for refusing to accept a

444
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:58,200
Speaker 2: challenger duel.

445
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:02,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that one's definitely not outdated in any capacity.

446
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,840
Speaker 2: In Georgia, illegal to use profanity in the presence of

447
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:10,400
Speaker 2: a corpse. A state law in Illinois mandates that all

448
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:15,119
Speaker 2: bachelors should be called master, not mister. Wait where Illinois? Okay,

449
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,440
Speaker 2: when addressed by their female counterparts, master not mister, Please

450
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 2: inform your wife. Yep, honey from now on. Well, no,

451
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,480
Speaker 2: you're not a bachelor, so you are a mister. Oh yeah, right,

452
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,359
Speaker 2: you have to be a bachelor's to be called a master.

453
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 2: And finally, here's a twist. In your home state, Colorado,

454
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 2: it's now legal, not illegal, legal to remove the furniture

455
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:39,000
Speaker 2: tags that say do not remove under penalty of law.

456
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,560
Speaker 2: Why do they say that? I don't know.

457
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,480
Speaker 1: Why do mattresses when people. That's a running joke since

458
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,760
Speaker 1: we were kids, Like, you can't take the tag off

459
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,960
Speaker 1: a mattress. What is the point of that?

460
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,400
Speaker 2: Well, I just have to say, the lawmakers in your

461
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 2: state are doing the lord's work. They've made it legal.

462
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,920
Speaker 2: You're allowed to. They're finally like, enough of the reign

463
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,520
Speaker 2: of tear of mattress.

464
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,200
Speaker 1: Tags, you know, And I'd like to take a little

465
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 1: bit of credit for that. You write enough angry letters,

466
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 1: you can get the law changed. It's true, there is

467
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 1: there is an outcome, a positive outcome. Deer sirs, Yeah,

468
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 1: dear sirs, the tag is scratching my skin.

469
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:16,320
Speaker 2: But I'm afraid of going to jail. Yeah. So, this list,

470
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:19,440
Speaker 2: by the way, was aggregated by arguably the most reliable

471
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,560
Speaker 2: source of legal information in America. I'm speaking, of course,

472
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,960
Speaker 2: about a PDF found on the website of the Forest

473
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:28,880
Speaker 2: Grove Elementary in Pacific Grove, California. I second that that's

474
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 2: where you go for your legal information, right every single time.

475
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:33,919
Speaker 2: So if any listeners are wondering, how the hell did

476
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,359
Speaker 2: Josh find a list of weird laws aggregated by a

477
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 2: random grade school in California, that's a very good question

478
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 2: and the answer is Google's new AI search. It served

479
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 2: it up to me, which speaks volumes about why we

480
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:46,640
Speaker 2: should all cool our heels.

481
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,440
Speaker 1: About AI, or the amount of research AI doesn't want

482
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:50,239
Speaker 1: to do to help you.

483
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:53,120
Speaker 2: That whack robot thinks in elementary school is on par

484
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,159
Speaker 2: with like the Department of Justice website.

485
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,800
Speaker 1: Even AI just clicked the first link and was like, here,

486
00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,119
Speaker 1: just read this, Josh.

487
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 2: Another of the Google AI weird law responses was quote

488
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,800
Speaker 2: according to a Facebook post by an attorney.

489
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 1: All relevant sources anyway.

490
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:11,720
Speaker 2: I enjoy the hell out of this stuff and could

491
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,479
Speaker 2: keep going, but there's not a lot of point to it,

492
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,800
Speaker 2: since most, if not all, of these laws aren't actually

493
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,359
Speaker 2: enforced anymore. It's just that no lawmakers have bothered to

494
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,880
Speaker 2: reverse them, except for the good ones in Colorado who

495
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 2: ended the tyranny of mattress tags. That's right, which doesn't

496
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 2: mean we aren't still enforcing some dumb laws, and that

497
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,919
Speaker 2: we also aren't all breaking laws that aren't dumb but

498
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,640
Speaker 2: often seem annoying. Like you've definitely texted while driving, I'm sure,

499
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:36,160
Speaker 2: I mean, and you've probably littered. I bet you've even

500
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 2: pired in some music in your day Napster, Yes, Lime, wire. Yes, okay,

501
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:41,719
Speaker 2: I don't know that I've littered.

502
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 1: I really can't stand littering.

503
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 2: Never in your life.

504
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:48,359
Speaker 1: I mean maybe the first time I ever did it

505
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:49,800
Speaker 1: and someone's like, you shouldn't do that, and I was like,

506
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 1: oh my god, you're right.

507
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,240
Speaker 2: I despise it.

508
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 1: When I see an adult litter, I'm like, who have

509
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:58,400
Speaker 1: you interacted with your whole life where no one.

510
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,560
Speaker 2: Was like, hey, who do you think is up?

511
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,200
Speaker 1: It is true, but stealing music, you bet you?

512
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,399
Speaker 2: So your total your crime tale is going up. I

513
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,600
Speaker 2: don't think I've noticed texting while driving. You got it? Well,

514
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 2: now you're starting to see why you wildly underestimated your tone.

515
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get a leather jacket after this episode and

516
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:19,440
Speaker 1: start smoking and a pocket knife that's really a comb.

517
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,959
Speaker 2: If I can get real for a second. My public

518
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 2: service announcement this week is to definitely not lie if

519
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 2: you're being investigated by FEDS, And for this I will

520
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:35,680
Speaker 2: use the cautionary tale of our national treasure, The Eminence

521
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 2: Grusee of Napkins and chow Dogs. Martha Stewart, who Harvey

522
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 2: Silvergate also uses as a cautionary tale in his book.

523
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 2: Martha was not as I had long assumed charged with

524
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:48,159
Speaker 2: insider trading. She was charged with the federal false statement statute,

525
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 2: which Harvey calls one of the oddest features of federal

526
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 2: crime is that while it is a felony of perjury

527
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 2: to lie under oath, it is likewise a felony to

528
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 2: lie even when not under oath. Oh so it's like

529
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 2: this weird track that the Fed's set for you, Like,

530
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 2: you don't have to actually lie about the thing that

531
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,880
Speaker 2: they think that you did. You just have to lie

532
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 2: during the course of the interview. And so it seems

533
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 2: like that's what happened to Martha. They caught her in

534
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,199
Speaker 2: a lie. So she didn't commit inside her trading when

535
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,239
Speaker 2: she sold shares of the company m Clone, because she

536
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 2: wasn't actually a fiduciary of that company, so she was

537
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 2: allowed to sell shares. She just wasn't totally honest when

538
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 2: they investigated. Oh man, And this is what gets people

539
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 2: all the time. The Feds are very good at catching

540
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,760
Speaker 2: people and lies. They practically set out to do it

541
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 2: every time because even when they can't make another charge stick,

542
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 2: if they can catch you in a lie, you're screwed.

543
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,879
Speaker 2: So Rory, be careful. Yes, this is good to know.

544
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 2: It's also a tactic my wife likes to very occasionally

545
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 2: deploy on a few occasions when she suspected me of dishonesty,

546
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 2: She'll turn up the heat and ask a series of

547
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 2: questions that she knows the answer to until she catches

548
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:46,679
Speaker 2: me giving the wrong answer.

549
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:50,160
Speaker 1: Yes, and that's a happy marriage.

550
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,080
Speaker 2: The wrong answer may well be an innocent mistake, like

551
00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 2: I told her something happened on a Tuesday instead of

552
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 2: a Wednesday. But in the heat of an interrogation, that

553
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 2: slip up takes extra sixficant color of the whole exchange.

554
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 1: Have you ever been interviewed by anyone from the FBI?

555
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 2: No, not yet.

556
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 1: I have several times. Wait what Yes, because a friend

557
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 1: that I grew up with was trying to become a

558
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 1: member of the FBI, and that means you get interviewed.

559
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,199
Speaker 1: They will come to you to interview you, like I

560
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:27,879
Speaker 1: was visited in college by an agent FBI agent to

561
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 1: be asked questions about myself and my friend.

562
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,919
Speaker 2: Like trying to catch find out if he'd like sold drugs.

563
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,880
Speaker 1: Or yeah, just anything, any kind of behavior. I think

564
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 1: it's to see how honest he was about his application.

565
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:41,920
Speaker 2: It was.

566
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 1: It was so easy because my friend was an angel

567
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 1: like myself. I think he ultimately did not do it,

568
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 1: but you know what I think about sometimes I think

569
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,399
Speaker 1: sometimes he did do it. And he's a secret operative

570
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 1: type guy living a double life, oh like in that

571
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 1: movie True And I'm like his Tom Arnold, only I'm

572
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 1: not employed by the FBI, or maybe I am.

573
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,200
Speaker 2: A podcast about crime.

574
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 1: I'm sure all our listeners are like, wow, Rory is

575
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:13,719
Speaker 1: really well informed.

576
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,480
Speaker 2: This was a sting, It's an ongoing sting. It's a

577
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:18,879
Speaker 2: nice going sting catch people.

578
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: But I got to say, being interviewed by a member

579
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,399
Speaker 1: of the Federal Bureau of Investigations, which just feels like

580
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,399
Speaker 1: an absurd title, is it is a little nerve wracking,

581
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 1: and you do feel this responsibility to just lay it

582
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 1: all out there. He asked me about any drug I'd

583
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,439
Speaker 1: done or anything I've ever done. I was just like

584
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 1: saying everything, being like it's all there. There you go, yeah,

585
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:40,879
Speaker 1: red devils, Like have you ever drank underage?

586
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 2: You bet? You yes? Off drugs? Yes, So you can

587
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 2: see why, Like I think they catch people all the

588
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:50,879
Speaker 2: time and end up charging them lying because they're just

589
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 2: like they know everything about you already and then they

590
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,440
Speaker 2: know at some point you're gonna lie about something innocuous,

591
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 2: and that's a little bratty.

592
00:27:56,920 --> 00:28:00,960
Speaker 1: It makes us, It does make you sit here and go, Okay, Jesus,

593
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:03,159
Speaker 1: did Martha have to go to prison? I mean this

594
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:07,399
Speaker 1: whole time, everyone in the public's you know, specter just

595
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 1: thinks that it was insider trading.

596
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 2: I know I did.

597
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:13,359
Speaker 1: And also none of us cared about it, given the

598
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 1: fact that our politicians do that. But it was just

599
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,840
Speaker 1: for lying, which our politicians also do.

600
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:22,640
Speaker 2: This week we get political.

601
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys probably didn't know that I was mega

602
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:26,680
Speaker 1: pro Martha Stewart, but I am.

603
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 2: I'm also pro Martha's Stewart. Yeah, I thought. I thought

604
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 2: it was not fair. Not fair. She's an actual treasure.

605
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 2: I agree her child's needed her all right. Well, in closing, Rory,

606
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 2: be very careful how you answer the Feds or my wife.

607
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 1: Yeah thought side note also a federal agent.

608
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 2: And that is it for now. After the break, our

609
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 2: game segment winner stays out of jail until the next episode. Huh, Lane,

610
00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 2: what do you have for us? This week? Lane's game means.

611
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 3: Thank you, Roy. Since we're all committing crimes, I figured

612
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 3: we should brush up on prison slang. All right, So

613
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 3: I've just got some prison slang that I want to

614
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 3: busy on.

615
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 2: We define it or you gonna get multiple.

616
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 3: Choice, you to define it.

617
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 1: I bet I get none of this, right, that's how

618
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 1: much faith I.

619
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 2: Have in mine. Well, Rory, you can't do worse than

620
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:22,160
Speaker 2: you did on the vice presidential trivia.

621
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 1: That's exactly right, that's yes, all right.

622
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 3: Bats.

623
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 2: What you're saying, what are bats?

624
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 3: What are bats? In prison?

625
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 1: And Josh and I are on the same team. Yeah, sure,

626
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 1: that makes me feel better if we're on the same team.

627
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 3: For this one.

628
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, where every where everyone wins and loses together. Well,

629
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:44,200
Speaker 1: we know it's not baseball related, correct, given the fact

630
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 1: that it's even on there?

631
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 2: Bats? Is it a is it a smoking device? I

632
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 2: was going to say a cigarette? Look at us?

633
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 3: You guys are both right, all right? Dance on the

634
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 3: black top.

635
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:58,760
Speaker 1: Oh, you know, escaping through the roof, but via the

636
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 1: roof is my guest, Josh, Josh, your own person.

637
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say, Wait, I want to change mind having sex?

638
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,120
Speaker 3: Okay, you're going to change is ry?

639
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 1: Well, basically, if it's a price is right kind of thing,

640
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 1: I think I'm going to be closer to a right

641
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 1: answer than Josh. But dancing on the blacktop, I feel

642
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: like that's going to be like the yard, and I

643
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 1: feel like basketball happens down there, And so I want

644
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 1: to say, playing basketball.

645
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 3: Rory's closer. It is getting stabbed by another inmate.

646
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 1: I mean, well, I mean, what is everybody into is

647
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 1: more of the question.

648
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,200
Speaker 2: But yeah, I was gonna say I might be closer.

649
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 1: Actually, I playing basketball is another another slang term. I'm

650
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 1: sure doing sort of a subreddit with my answer, which

651
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 1: also means to stab someone.

652
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm going to play basket.

653
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 2: Dancing on the blacktop?

654
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, how about a slock?

655
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:58,680
Speaker 2: Slock? Slock? I don't even think I have a guess

656
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 2: for this, Uh.

657
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 1: A weapon of some sort. I'm gonna go broad with

658
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 1: all of my something that occurs in a prison. All

659
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:06,480
Speaker 1: my answers are broad.

660
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 2: I have no guess pass.

661
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with a weapon. A slock is a weapon,

662
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 1: that is correct.

663
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:14,360
Speaker 3: It is a lock in a sock.

664
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 2: Oh, A lock in sock.

665
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 3: You got that right? Is a weapon. You put a

666
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:19,600
Speaker 3: lock in the sock.

667
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:21,280
Speaker 1: By the way, if I get the most right, then

668
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:22,840
Speaker 1: that case we're not on the same team, and I

669
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 1: was on my own team the whole time.

670
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 3: Okay, prison pocket.

671
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 1: M m hm.

672
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,360
Speaker 3: Alternative title for this permanent pocket.

673
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 2: A stab wound.

674
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 1: You are a you, you're in a get you work

675
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,080
Speaker 1: for some head of a prison gang, and you're an

676
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 1: unpaid intern for that gang for that person. Just Josh,

677
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 1: trust me. Okay, I'm going stab wound.

678
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:55,240
Speaker 2: It is anus Okay, okay, oh, permanent because you hide

679
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:58,680
Speaker 2: stuff in there. But okay, you put it in your butt. Yep.

680
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 3: The phrase time to feed the.

681
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 1: Warden, time to feed the warden, get in a fight,

682
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:08,360
Speaker 1: financial blackmail. The warden knows something and if you don't

683
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 1: give him something, he's gonna give you something.

684
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 3: No, uh, needing to go to the bathroom okay.

685
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,720
Speaker 1: Oh god, it's when they're g rated. It's really hard

686
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 1: to figure out having to go potty.

687
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's a thinker. It's just you eat their

688
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 3: food and you give the food back. Next one boneyard visit.

689
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 2: Oh that's got to be a conjugal visit. Wait, you're

690
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 2: just nodded, Is that right?

691
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,760
Speaker 1: She did give a clue there, I'm gonna go with

692
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 1: conjugal visit.

693
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's conjugal visit without kids. Because you can do

694
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 3: a conjugal visit with your kids. What it's like a

695
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 3: family visit?

696
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 1: What does conjugal stand for? And why haven't we just

697
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 1: changed that to visit?

698
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 2: Well, the conjugals will you get to have sex with

699
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:53,720
Speaker 2: your partner? But I mean, is that what conjugal means?

700
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 2: Because I don't know.

701
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 1: Lane just said you're gonna have a conjugal visit with kids,

702
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 1: which makes me go, that's not what that means.

703
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 3: Conjugal is really relating to marriage or the relationship of

704
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 3: a married couple. So if you're married with kids, your

705
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 3: kids are going to come along.

706
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:08,080
Speaker 1: Okay, So family time yeah, okay.

707
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 2: But you also if you're going to Bonetown or whatever

708
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,720
Speaker 2: the thing was while your kids were there, that's fucking weird.

709
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, that you should have upsetting when you're in prison.

710
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 1: How often are you allowed to have a conjugal visit?

711
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 3: I think it depends on like your sins.

712
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 2: Once a week. No, I don't think it's once a month.

713
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 2: It's probably more like once a month.

714
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 3: After Okay, a couple more Tucci? What is Tucci?

715
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:35,680
Speaker 1: Stanley Tucci? Pasta it's pasta night. Tucci means it's pasta

716
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 1: night in prison.

717
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 2: Everyone's talking past.

718
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 3: Okay, it is not ceiling Tucci. It is a card

719
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:47,960
Speaker 3: stock that's been saturated in bug spray and smoked. Oh,

720
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,719
Speaker 3: it's a problem in prison in Florida.

721
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 2: Growths always Florida, Yeah, Florida.

722
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 3: And finally, stainless steel ride also sounds sexual.

723
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 2: No, I feel like that's like they pound your head

724
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 2: into the bar. It's a fight thing like a metal weapon.

725
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 2: Are we right?

726
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 3: No, it is death by lethal injection.

727
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:11,399
Speaker 2: Oh. Wait to end on a real dark one there.

728
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:13,320
Speaker 3: I mean, I just thought it was a good.

729
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,759
Speaker 1: Those were sending our listeners off into the sunset with

730
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:18,240
Speaker 1: a beautiful image in their mind.

731
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 2: What was the word again with.

732
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:23,399
Speaker 3: The phrase stainless steel ride, stainless steel ride.

733
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:25,240
Speaker 2: Let's let's end with some sad music.

734
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 3: I'll note to self end with slock.

735
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,880
Speaker 2: Poor a little loud for the death penalty.

736
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 3: I don't agree with it.

737
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:33,319
Speaker 2: I don't either.

738
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 1: I think we can all take a stand anti death penalty.

739
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:37,760
Speaker 1: Pro Martha Stewart.

740
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:40,359
Speaker 2: Absolutely, our platform is evolving over time.

741
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 1: Crimeless not afraid to hide, not afraid to not never

742
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 1: mind crime Less the end, See you next week.

743
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 2: Crimeless is a production of SmartLess Media Campside Media. And

744
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 2: Big Money Players in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. It's hosted

745
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:05,760
Speaker 2: by Rory Scovel and me Josh Dean. Our senior producer

746
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:09,399
Speaker 2: is Lane Rose. Emma Simonov is our associate producer. We're

747
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 2: sound designed and engineered by Blake Brook with support from

748
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 2: Ewan Letram Ewen Mark McAdam composed our theme song. The

749
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:20,319
Speaker 2: executive producers at Campside Media are Vanessa Gregoriatis, Matt Cher

750
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 2: and me Josh Dean. The executive producers for iHeart Podcasts

751
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 2: and Big Money Players are Jack O'Brien, Lindsay Hoffman and

752
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:33,280
Speaker 2: Matt Appadaca. For Smartlo's Media, the executive producers are Will Arnett,

753
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 2: Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Richard Corson. Bernie Kaminski is

754
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 2: head of production. The associate producer is Mattie McCann. A

755
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 2: special thanks to our operations team, Ashley Warren and Sabina Marra.

756
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:48,440
Speaker 2: Do you have a question, comment, or confession for the

757
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 2: Crimeless team? Email us at crime List at campsidmedia dot

758
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 2: com and if you enjoyed Crimeless, please rate and review

759
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 2: the show wherever you get your podcasts. It helps people

760
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 2: find the show and also make us feel validated unless

761
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:04,520
Speaker 2: you're mean, in which case keep it to yourself. We'll

762
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:05,839
Speaker 2: see you next week. Crime Listen Nation