WEBVTT - Protect Black Men 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.120 Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:06.800 and the Black Effect. Dit asked back there, Nice Little 0:00:06.920 --> 0:00:19.360 asked back there. Di stl asked back there, n Yo, 0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:21.639 what up? What up? Welcome back to another episode of 0:00:21.680 --> 0:00:28.120 Carefully Reckless with your Girl just hilarious story time. I 0:00:28.200 --> 0:00:31.160 remember we all took a trip to Puerto Rico. Now 0:00:31.280 --> 0:00:34.120 we all is me and a couple of other couples, 0:00:34.159 --> 0:00:36.760 because it was like a couple's trip. Don't ask me 0:00:36.840 --> 0:00:39.839 who I took, because honestly, I don't remember, and this 0:00:39.920 --> 0:00:44.000 was just last year. I do remember my aunt and 0:00:44.080 --> 0:00:46.599 my uncle being one of the couples. Now, I'm related 0:00:46.680 --> 0:00:49.560 to my aunt. She's my biological aunt, and my uncle 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:52.200 is my uncle because he's married to her. My aunt 0:00:52.400 --> 0:00:59.320 is hmm, very snobby. She's the rich auntie that you 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:03.800 know most families have. She's very straightforward, she's blunt. She's 0:01:03.880 --> 0:01:07.399 like me, but more disrespectful. And her husband, on the 0:01:07.440 --> 0:01:10.080 other hand, he's very quiet, laid back, chill to himself. 0:01:10.400 --> 0:01:13.720 I love my uncle. He's cool. Obviously they were having 0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:15.640 a problem in their marriage. I don't know why the 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:17.680 hell they would even come on a trip and try 0:01:17.840 --> 0:01:22.039 to mask their problem. But game night. Right, the night 0:01:22.080 --> 0:01:25.240 before we left, we were playing the game Guestris. That's 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:27.360 when you gotta do charades or whatever, and it's a 0:01:27.400 --> 0:01:29.759 team game. I don't know why we didn't do men 0:01:29.920 --> 0:01:32.080 versus women. I do not know why, just to keep 0:01:32.080 --> 0:01:34.040 the confusion down and it would have bit more fun. 0:01:34.200 --> 0:01:37.200 But we decided to do couples against couples. Now it 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:40.480 was four couples. So it's eight people, two teams of 0:01:40.560 --> 0:01:44.760 two couples each. Right, Oh my gosh. They couldn't agree 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:47.480 on anything. My oun uncle, they couldn't agree. First of all, 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:50.800 when he first got there, they were very distant. They 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:54.279 were being caddi toward one another. The tension was high. 0:01:54.520 --> 0:01:56.920 It was awkward as fun to be around them because 0:01:56.920 --> 0:01:59.080 you knew, you know, when two people are beating you 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:01.480 walk into a room, toy quiet or they already quiet 0:02:01.520 --> 0:02:03.360 when you enter the room. That ship is crazy. Right, 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:05.880 So we're playing a game. Round one, they couldn't agree 0:02:05.880 --> 0:02:09.120 on ship. Round two, couldn't agree on ship. They grew 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:11.480 more heated and heated. By the end of the game 0:02:11.800 --> 0:02:14.160 they were at each other's next yea like real ship. 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:17.520 So my uncle says something like, man, I'm out of 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:20.239 this motherfucker. I'm I'm out. This bitch went on the balcony, 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:23.280 went to go light up a blunt. On his way out. 0:02:23.360 --> 0:02:25.359 She said, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. 0:02:25.560 --> 0:02:29.239 He just mad because I make more money than his ass. 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:32.840 All bets are off. Now he turns back around, he 0:02:32.880 --> 0:02:34.840 gets upset. He looks like, how the fund can you 0:02:34.880 --> 0:02:37.520 even say this ship? How can you even say this 0:02:37.520 --> 0:02:39.680 ship in front of people. I told you she had 0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:42.720 a few drinks, so did he. But women, one thing 0:02:42.760 --> 0:02:45.520 about us. When we hit we hit below the fucking belt. 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:48.760 And that ship is not healthy, not in a fucking marriage, 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:52.360 not in a friendship, not in any type of companionship 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:54.800 you got going on. Never hit below the belt, especially 0:02:54.840 --> 0:02:58.000 against somebody you love, in front of a bunch of people. 0:02:58.720 --> 0:03:02.280 I remember no body checking on him either. I remember 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:04.560 that nobody would to go check on him, even the 0:03:04.639 --> 0:03:06.520 other guys. I mean, I guess they just didn't want 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:08.600 to insert themselves into the business of my aunt and 0:03:08.600 --> 0:03:11.120 my uncle and ship like that. But all of us 0:03:11.639 --> 0:03:13.600 was trying to calm her down. We all was checking 0:03:13.639 --> 0:03:16.480 on her, and you know, even my date, I remember 0:03:16.560 --> 0:03:18.000 him check. Oh, I remember who it is now, but 0:03:18.040 --> 0:03:20.200 y'all still ain't getting that information. He would to go 0:03:20.280 --> 0:03:22.760 check on her. Everybody was checking on her. Nobody went 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:25.440 on the balcony with my uncle to check on him. 0:03:25.600 --> 0:03:28.560 He's smoking a blunt heat chilling. He quiet anyway, so 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:32.839 he's very unapproachable looking. So I guess that's why as well. 0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:35.720 I remember the next day when we all woke up 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:37.760 to leave, because that was our our last day on 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:40.400 the trip. Our flights were in the afternoon. We woke up, 0:03:40.440 --> 0:03:42.440 he was gone. He got up and he flew the 0:03:42.440 --> 0:03:46.040 funk out. He didn't say goodbye to anybody, nothing like that. Now, 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:49.640 with that story in mine, today's topic is a black 0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:53.680 man's vulnerability. It's important to talk about that type of 0:03:53.680 --> 0:03:58.040 ship these days because it's a very feminist time in 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:01.240 life right now. Women we get the spotlight a lot 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:04.000 more now, and that's great. You know, the black woman 0:04:04.120 --> 0:04:06.240 is strong. The black woman is this, The black woman 0:04:06.320 --> 0:04:09.280 is that. Yes, we are where everything alpha and omega 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:11.800 and everything in between. You take us away, you ain't 0:04:11.800 --> 0:04:14.160 got ship. But at the same time, we still have 0:04:14.280 --> 0:04:20.039 another another piece of humanity that we tend to just forget. 0:04:20.839 --> 0:04:24.880 That's the man. You can't spell humanity without man, and 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:28.240 we we tend not to give a funk about a 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:32.520 man's feelings. Now usually the next segment is just fix 0:04:32.640 --> 0:04:36.320 my mess. However, I knew, I just knew there would 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:40.640 be no men who would willingly address their vulnerabilities and 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:43.880 insecurities or whatever, and we have that. But that's the 0:04:43.920 --> 0:04:46.200 problem with our men these days. We have to get 0:04:46.240 --> 0:04:48.680 them to talk more. And I know the tradition is, 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:52.880 you know, men don't cry. Men are not supposed to cry. 0:04:53.040 --> 0:04:56.839 Men don't be weak. You can't open up about ship. 0:04:56.880 --> 0:04:58.800 You have to keep it all inside because you're a man. 0:04:58.880 --> 0:05:01.479 You gotta be strong, you got to be barbarian like. 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:05.080 But that's bullshit, because men still have hearts, they still 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:08.560 have feelings. They're women without pussies. That's it, like a 0:05:08.600 --> 0:05:11.640 woman is a man without a dick. We are the same, 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:14.960 We're all people. We just have different ships between our legs. 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:18.520 That's the only difference between us. There are lots of 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:20.919 insecurities that men struggle with, and it's a lot of 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:23.719 ships that men deal with that women deal with as well, 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:26.640 but it's overlooked when it's a man like men get 0:05:26.720 --> 0:05:29.920 cheated on, they get raped as children. You know, men 0:05:30.440 --> 0:05:33.680 go through all types of ship. They go through money problems, 0:05:33.760 --> 0:05:37.560 they go through losing friends, they have confidence issues. You 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:40.080 got men getting surgery nowadays. If you don't like the 0:05:40.120 --> 0:05:42.479 way you look, change it. That's not only meant for 0:05:42.560 --> 0:05:44.400 a woman, you know what I mean. There are a 0:05:44.400 --> 0:05:46.760 lot of things that men deal with. But then you 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:49.960 have the falsehood of ego. That's the mask that they 0:05:50.000 --> 0:05:52.880 put on so they won't have to face themselves or 0:05:52.960 --> 0:05:55.520 face their real problems, and also so no one around 0:05:55.560 --> 0:05:57.760 them will know what they're really going through. That's why 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:01.520 it's very important to have barbershop talk. Like you know, 0:06:01.839 --> 0:06:03.719 how we go and get our hair done and we 0:06:03.760 --> 0:06:06.159 talk to our styles about everything. Well, I don't know, 0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:09.080 these days, these stylars are so fucking messy. I don't know. 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:12.039 I don't talk to my styler is about a motherfucking thing. 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:15.280 But you know it's easy, you know, as women we 0:06:15.320 --> 0:06:17.560 go and we talk about ship, talk about these men 0:06:17.640 --> 0:06:19.920 we're sitting these shares and let these women do our hand. 0:06:19.960 --> 0:06:23.320 We start spalking up conversations about how niggason did us wrong, 0:06:23.360 --> 0:06:25.760 and and then how we're doing a nigga's wrong. You 0:06:25.800 --> 0:06:27.400 never know what's gonna come out of your mouth and 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:30.000 a fucking hand saloon because you're comfortable. You're amongst other 0:06:30.040 --> 0:06:32.680 women who are having some of the same problems. Now 0:06:32.920 --> 0:06:35.640 put the same thing in the barbershop. The barbershop setting. 0:06:36.000 --> 0:06:38.880 These men have these conversations, but I'm telling you a 0:06:38.920 --> 0:06:41.400 lot of times because I used to work at a barbershop. Yes, 0:06:41.400 --> 0:06:44.840 they have the same conversations we have, but men still front. 0:06:45.160 --> 0:06:48.719 Men front for other men. No man wants another man 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:51.640 to know his struggles. Whether he's the man's best friend 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:55.480 or not. He does not want anyone to know his struggles. 0:06:55.480 --> 0:06:58.640 You're always supposed to be the perfect strong man and 0:06:58.720 --> 0:07:01.520 anything your friendship. If you've got a group of friends, 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:03.000 you want to be you want to appear as the 0:07:03.120 --> 0:07:05.560 richest friend, the friend that got it all together, and 0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:07.919 you don't. Now, men have a lot of issues that 0:07:08.000 --> 0:07:11.559 they struggle with. That's why they can't properly assess kids 0:07:11.560 --> 0:07:13.800 and women. You know what I'm saying. I'm not making 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:16.800 up excuses because this is not every man's problem, but 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:20.000 majority you'd be surprised. And I was having a discussion 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:22.000 with one of my buddies and he calls it the 0:07:22.000 --> 0:07:25.160 trickle down theory. A lot of these men's issues are 0:07:25.200 --> 0:07:27.640 deep rooted, goes back to their childhood, goes back to 0:07:28.040 --> 0:07:32.000 generations and generations before them, great great grandfathers. They didn't 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:35.920 know how to love properly because their father didn't do that. 0:07:36.400 --> 0:07:39.800 Their father didn't show them. Their father didn't put him 0:07:39.840 --> 0:07:42.000 on his back and you know, run around the house 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:44.400 with him or wrestle them, or you know, or wrap 0:07:44.480 --> 0:07:46.840 them in his arms and telling me loves them. None 0:07:46.880 --> 0:07:50.000 of that. I remember a picture that was going around 0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:53.360 with whis Khalifa kissing his son Sebastian and his mouth. Now, 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:56.040 a lot of men they had something to say about that, 0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:58.160 a lot of women had something to say about that. 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:00.880 But that's why we feel like we that's I said, 0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:03.440 we like I'm a man and sometimes I swear I am, 0:08:03.520 --> 0:08:06.360 you know. But that's why men feel like they got 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:10.000 to be so hard up, because they're scared to show affection, 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:13.960 even to women. Scared to show affection. That's why a 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:16.360 lot of gay men are scared of coming out. It's 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:18.040 just a man is a man. At the end of 0:08:18.040 --> 0:08:21.040 the day. They have hearts, they have feelings. With Khalifa 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:24.880 teaching that little boy love, he's teaching him love. There's 0:08:24.880 --> 0:08:26.520 nothing wrong with him kissing his son in him off. 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:29.880 That's his fucking son. Mind your fucking business. Then, on 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:32.440 the other hand, you got a man who never kisses 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:35.880 his son, whether it be on a forehead, cheek, whatever mouth. 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:39.600 You got men that never kiss their fucking sons. Never Now, 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:42.640 imagine those young men that's gonna grow up who don't 0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:46.480 know how to show affection to a woman. No no, no, 0:08:46.480 --> 0:08:48.760 no no. They they might think kissing his mushy. They 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:51.000 don't want that ship. Oh no, no, no, hell no. 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:53.839 My father never did. Dead no no, no no. Even 0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:55.600 if you did have a mother that's affectionate to you, 0:08:55.920 --> 0:08:59.760 telling your father plants the seed. Every household needs a dad, 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:02.960 Every child needs a dad, and every child needs a 0:09:03.080 --> 0:09:06.040 mother's love, but also the love and affection from a father. 0:09:06.480 --> 0:09:09.679 That's why I praised Russell Wilson. He shows love to 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:13.320 Baby Future, He shows him love. He's not hard up 0:09:13.360 --> 0:09:15.560 with the dude with the little boy. He's not that 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:19.040 one on one they get Sierra is not always around 0:09:19.200 --> 0:09:21.360 when Baby Future is in the care of Russell. You 0:09:21.400 --> 0:09:22.839 know what I'm saying. He wants that one on one 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:25.520 showing him love and affection, not saying his father doesn't. 0:09:25.559 --> 0:09:27.360 But I only know what we see, and we see 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:30.880 Russell giving him that affection. If you love me, you'll 0:09:30.880 --> 0:09:34.360 listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back again. 0:09:34.480 --> 0:09:38.480 General curses that has to be broken. Maybe someone's father 0:09:39.400 --> 0:09:43.000 beat their mother growing up in aboosive household. A lot 0:09:43.000 --> 0:09:46.679 of guys seeing there, their mothers get beaten by their father, 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:50.800 seeing their fathers even you know, beat on them. That's 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:54.720 also a generational curse. That's also how a man feels 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:56.920 like he has to be so tough. When my father 0:09:56.960 --> 0:09:59.440 beat my mother, my father, another hugged and kissed on 0:09:59.480 --> 0:10:02.920 my mother. Us saw that, So that's what I am. 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:06.760 My own brother can't stand his father, but in hindsight, 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:08.640 he acts just like his dad. You know what I'm saying. 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:12.120 That ship sticks with your kids, and that's why generational 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:15.400 curses have to be broken. That's exactly why. Or it'll 0:10:15.440 --> 0:10:17.000 be hard for you to be a parent, it'll be 0:10:17.040 --> 0:10:18.600 hard for you to be a husband, it'll be hard 0:10:18.640 --> 0:10:21.120 for you to be a brother. It'll be hard. You 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:23.880 have to break it. Many therapy, just like us women 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:28.280 many love. A lot of times, there is no framework, 0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:32.440 meaning nobody taught this man structure. Nobody taught him how 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:36.920 to be honest with himself about his struggles. Nobody taught 0:10:36.960 --> 0:10:39.480 him how to open up about them, you know, whether 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:41.439 it be to other friends. That's why men are so 0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:43.800 scared of therapy. I'm not about to go lay on 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:46.120 the couch and and tell no woman how I fail. 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:48.079 She can't help me. I'm I'm I'm a man, I'm 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:50.640 tough and no, but I don't want nobody in my business. 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:55.920 That's where manipulation comes into play. Most mass manipulating men 0:10:56.240 --> 0:10:59.840 have these issues deep deep, deep down inside. Manipulation can't 0:10:59.880 --> 0:11:03.439 just come from nowhere. My son's father is very manipulative, 0:11:03.800 --> 0:11:06.880 and now so is my son. My son hasn't even 0:11:06.960 --> 0:11:12.480 lived his life fully. He's eight, and he is a 0:11:12.520 --> 0:11:16.040 little manipulator for real. He gets it from his dad. 0:11:16.080 --> 0:11:18.360 But you know, Jerome has a lot of issues. Jerome 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:20.480 is my son's father's name, is a lot of issues 0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:22.840 that he hasn't come to grips with. He hasn't put 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:25.720 out those fires in those roots yet. And he even 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:28.760 told me, I mean, sometimes I think about going to therapy, 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:30.360 but then I mean, what is that ship gonna do 0:11:30.400 --> 0:11:33.000 for me? That's that ego I was talking about. That 0:11:33.040 --> 0:11:36.160 goes back to the falsehood of ego. What do you 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:38.240 mean you're trying to be so tough, You're trying to 0:11:38.280 --> 0:11:42.080 appear as something that you've trained yourself to be, so 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:43.600 you don't have to deal with the issues, you don't 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:45.319 have to face them. But in all reality, you will 0:11:45.360 --> 0:11:47.200 never be happy, you will never find love, You will 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:50.480 never ever ever stop going from woman to woman looking 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:52.920 for what you're missing if you don't get to the 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:55.560 root of your problem, your own self. This is what 0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:58.840 I've told him tom after time, even examples and movies 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:01.000 that they put in front of our faces on why 0:12:01.000 --> 0:12:04.680 did I get married? Angela and Marcus? She constantly put 0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:08.040 the man down. That's what my aunt did, put the 0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:11.120 man down about making less than she did. But then 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:14.080 why did I get married? Marcus was pro football player. 0:12:14.400 --> 0:12:17.439 They started with his money. He got hurt, he got injured, 0:12:17.679 --> 0:12:21.719 and then the burden fell on the wife. Nevertheless, she 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:23.679 picked it up, but she threw it in his face. 0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:26.960 This is my money, Marcus. You ain't going nowhere. You 0:12:26.960 --> 0:12:29.040 ain't gonna leave me because this is my money. That 0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:31.400 forced that man to cheat. He did not want to 0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:36.000 leave his wife. But dealing with a woman seven, that's 0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:39.080 throwing something in your face, that fox with a man's dignity, 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:42.000 that fox with a man's pride. So he cheated. He 0:12:42.080 --> 0:12:45.320 cheated with someone who ain't gonna do that ship that 0:12:45.360 --> 0:12:48.440 ain't constantly talking about he broke and reminding him of 0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:51.480 his past, and oh, yeah, you you did make money 0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:53.640 until you hurt yourself. Now you ain't got nothing coming, 0:12:53.880 --> 0:12:56.040 you know what I'm saying. She constantly reminded Marcus that 0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:58.840 he had to work for her in her salon the 0:12:58.880 --> 0:13:02.440 episode of Martin where Martin was so upset that Gina 0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:04.439 made more than him. He didn't even know that ship 0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:06.640 and it came out that she made more than him. 0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:08.680 He was pissed the whole episode. Now, these are real 0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:11.200 situations that they put on TV. Yes, it was a 0:13:11.200 --> 0:13:15.280 fictional sitcom, but it's real life. Ship Men deal with 0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:17.959 all types of ship. Men deal with financial struggles, men 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:21.120 deal with aboost from their women. Men deal with a lot. 0:13:21.440 --> 0:13:24.600 These black men, man, they go through a lot. We're 0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:27.440 gonna take it back even further to color purple. Remember 0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:30.520 silly and Mr. He beat that woman and she still 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:33.360 want to go get up and cook for the family 0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:37.040 through the baby's hair. All of that. That was regular 0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:39.720 back then. That was fucking regular. And then he had 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:41.600 a fucking mistress who was sucked up in the head 0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:45.280 as well. She was being mentally abused, she was being prostituted. 0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:48.880 But Mr was dealing with struggles far beyond the abuse. 0:13:49.000 --> 0:13:51.079 Maybe he was abused when he was younger and Ship 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:54.960 like that. He couldn't love Silly, he couldn't love Setter, 0:13:55.120 --> 0:13:58.600 He couldn't love anybody, probably because he didn't address his 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:01.439 own issues. He would beat the shut out of Silly 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:03.360 and she would get the funk up and go cook 0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:06.200 dinner for the family, like it was regular. That should happen. 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:09.960 Even back in slavery, the black man has always had 0:14:09.960 --> 0:14:14.000 to bore the physical part of slavery. You gotta think 0:14:14.000 --> 0:14:17.120 about it. When the black man is born, they were 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:20.560 trained by white men. They would take the biggest black man, 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:23.120 this is the one I got to do all the work, 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:25.240 then the workout in the fields and ship. They would 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:28.560 get them real strong and buff like animals. They treated 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:31.440 the black man like animals. That's what the black man 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:34.280 was used for. The black man was seen as a machine, 0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:39.000 a strong ass animal, beaten when they didn't move, beaten 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:42.200 for not doing something right, beaten no matter what it 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:45.360 was for. Nevertheless, they were fucking beaten, which takes me 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:49.160 back to Mr. And Silly. When she didn't do something right, 0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:51.600 he beat her. Sometimes she wouldn't even do ship. He 0:14:51.600 --> 0:14:53.960 would just beat her. His ass was beat you know 0:14:53.960 --> 0:14:56.240 what I mean. It's the trickle down effect that my 0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:59.480 homeboy was talking about. It's also the devalue of a 0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:03.880 black man. And even fast forward to the Welfare Reformation, 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:09.960 when blacks started finally getting government assistance, the rules were 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:12.680 a black man couldn't even be in the fucking house. 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:15.720 For a woman to receive any type of benefits, the 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:18.600 black man couldn't even be in the fucking house. So 0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:20.720 the black man had the hide. Of course it was 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:22.960 for nest, but when he would come around for the 0:15:23.080 --> 0:15:25.720 visits and shipped to still keep up the benefits or 0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:27.960 whatever and all that type of ship the evaluations, the 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:29.840 man had to get all of his clothes out of there. 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:31.920 And and no man could even be in the house, 0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:34.400 No fucking black man could even be in his own 0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:38.640 house for the family to receive benefits, to receive help, 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:43.000 and in my opinion, welfare reformation is what started the 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:46.280 I don't need a man mindset for black women. Black 0:15:46.320 --> 0:15:49.840 women have had more training on how to defend themselves 0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:53.080 from a black man then to how to love a 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:55.520 black man. I'm telling you it started right there. In 0:15:55.600 --> 0:15:58.680 my opinion, you're gonna always see a black woman even today. 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:00.600 I don't need no man, I don't need no nigga. 0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:03.760 I do this ship by myself, like bitches love saying 0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:08.200 that ship. Listen, you do, you do just like the 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:12.240 man needs us. Black women need black men, and black 0:16:12.280 --> 0:16:14.440 men need black women. I don't give a funk how 0:16:14.520 --> 0:16:17.360 you feel, what you say. If you turn this podcast 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:20.240 it off right now, I don't give a fuck. Yes 0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:22.600 we do. We need our men and they need us. 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:25.800 And that's also why black men are so aggressive. Not 0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:28.520 all of them, but a lot of the majority of 0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:31.560 these men are so aggressive because we've been taught to 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:36.000 defend ourselves against them. So of course, like even when 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:37.840 when you first meet a man, we can see a 0:16:37.880 --> 0:16:39.960 nigga walking down the street if it's pasts a lord 0:16:40.000 --> 0:16:42.680 too tight or depending on you know, the sway in 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:46.800 his walking or whatever what he got on. Oh bitches game, 0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:49.560 oh bitch he's out drugs, like we're judging them at 0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:52.280 the fucking door. You haven't done that. We judge these 0:16:52.320 --> 0:16:55.720 men and then we get upset when they're with white women, 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:59.440 but we often have that. We don't need your mentality. 0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:02.920 So actually we throw these niggas away. That's what we do. 0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:06.440 We're throwing them away, and we can be very spiteful. 0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:08.640 Hold up, Hold up, I know the ship getting good. 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:10.960 But listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:14.520 If you love me, you'll listen. As black women, Yes, 0:17:14.640 --> 0:17:16.680 we can be very spiteful because, like I said, we 0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:21.399 have been trained to defend ourselves. So when a man 0:17:21.560 --> 0:17:23.639 do finally open up. Let's say he opened up and 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:26.600 tell you about his past or he has an insecurity, 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:29.520 he tells you about one of his vulnerabilities. You take it, 0:17:30.119 --> 0:17:33.000 you love him, he falls for you. Y'all get angry 0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:36.000 and you throw that ship in his face. You bring 0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:37.840 that ship up and you throw that ship out there 0:17:37.920 --> 0:17:42.359 at him. Well, you was telling me, whatever the problem, 0:17:42.440 --> 0:17:44.840 whatever the issue is. Then they shut back down and 0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:48.000 don't tell you, ask nothing else. We have to protect 0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:51.239 our black men just like we expect them to protect us. 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:54.399 We have to get them to talk more. We have 0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:56.199 to get them to talk more. A lot of men 0:17:56.400 --> 0:17:58.679 grew up in foster homes and being passed around from 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:00.680 group on the group home. I remember, I had a 0:18:00.720 --> 0:18:03.080 man that worked for me that told me that man, 0:18:03.200 --> 0:18:06.760 there's some real shiit sys growing up being passed around 0:18:06.800 --> 0:18:09.160 from group. I'm the group almost like Jail. I feel 0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:11.560 like he was trying to tell me something. Maybe he 0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:14.040 was touched, maybe he was raped. That's why he's so 0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:17.800 fucking mean. That's why he beat Nigga's the way he do. 0:18:17.960 --> 0:18:21.240 That's why he's had encounters with women and fucking children. 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:23.240 That's why he's not scared to take a life the 0:18:23.280 --> 0:18:25.879 ship that he had to go through growing up. Now 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:27.879 he has a lot of children, A lot of them 0:18:27.960 --> 0:18:30.600 got both nine ten children, and all of them are mixed. 0:18:30.680 --> 0:18:33.760 None of them are fully African American. He also explained 0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:36.640 to me why none of them are fully African American. 0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:41.280 He loves mixed women. He loves Hispanic women. They're more submissive. 0:18:41.400 --> 0:18:44.240 He doesn't have to worry about them going through his phone. 0:18:44.359 --> 0:18:46.760 He doesn't have to worry about them calling him out 0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:50.040 of his name, poisoning him when he's sleep, or anything. 0:18:50.080 --> 0:18:51.560 I'm like, nigga, what the hell have you been through 0:18:51.640 --> 0:18:54.080 with black women? What the fuck? That's why he said 0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:56.359 he's scared the day another one. He told me this, 0:18:56.960 --> 0:18:58.879 I ain't suing no black women scared the day to 0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:01.760 fucking black woman man. Black women think their men, is 0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:04.720 what he said. I can relate to that because sometimes 0:19:04.880 --> 0:19:06.679 I feel like I am you know what I mean. 0:19:07.119 --> 0:19:10.000 Like we're tough, we're very very tough, we don't take 0:19:10.040 --> 0:19:14.280 no ship, but sometimes it's okay to be soft. Sometimes 0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:17.879 it is. You also, notice how black men don't marry 0:19:18.080 --> 0:19:21.160 black women, even going way back to your grandmother. Now, listen, 0:19:21.440 --> 0:19:23.520 black people will stay together for years and years and 0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:27.680 years but never married because we've had no examples to 0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:29.760 look up to. Now, I don't want to hear nothing 0:19:29.800 --> 0:19:32.200 but no Beyonce and jay Z and grand Hero and 0:19:32.280 --> 0:19:35.159 to Mia and and Russell and Sierra. No, no, no, no, 0:19:35.240 --> 0:19:37.880 I'm talking about way back, not not celebrities. Don't throw 0:19:37.920 --> 0:19:40.920 no celebrities in my face. Let's go way back. Old 0:19:41.000 --> 0:19:45.480 people will stay together for fucking ether and still still 0:19:46.000 --> 0:19:48.240 don't marry each other. I don't know what it is 0:19:48.240 --> 0:19:51.600 about it, but it's hard to marry. We had no 0:19:51.960 --> 0:19:56.560 good examples. Even these days, it seems like people can 0:19:56.600 --> 0:19:58.760 be in love when they have babies, they break up. 0:19:59.080 --> 0:20:02.040 The divorce rate in black marriages is way fucking higher 0:20:02.080 --> 0:20:05.040 than any other race because people get married without getting 0:20:05.080 --> 0:20:07.640 to know each other. People get married with hidden factors, 0:20:08.040 --> 0:20:10.040