1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:21,835 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. And 2 00:00:21,995 --> 00:00:25,875 Speaker 1: here we are. There are now so many Trump trials 3 00:00:25,915 --> 00:00:30,435 Speaker 1: there is no longer enough Trump trial time quote. At 4 00:00:30,475 --> 00:00:33,315 Speaker 1: one point in the proceedings, writes the website The Messenger 5 00:00:33,395 --> 00:00:37,075 Speaker 1: from the pre trial in Florida. Yesterday, Judge Eileen Cannon 6 00:00:37,155 --> 00:00:41,195 Speaker 1: asked whether a Manhattan judge may be open to moving 7 00:00:41,355 --> 00:00:45,355 Speaker 1: Trump's separate criminal trial in New York in March twenty 8 00:00:45,395 --> 00:00:50,795 Speaker 1: twenty four. Not enough runways. Well, I never say we 9 00:00:50,875 --> 00:00:53,995 Speaker 1: did not get what we asked for. The second federal 10 00:00:54,075 --> 00:00:56,875 Speaker 1: set of indictments of the defendant could be handed up 11 00:00:56,875 --> 00:01:00,875 Speaker 1: as early as Thursday, though Friday seems likelier still, and 12 00:01:00,955 --> 00:01:04,395 Speaker 1: the likeliest is Trump being notified Thursday or Friday and 13 00:01:04,475 --> 00:01:07,435 Speaker 1: then announcing it. And then we will re enact early June, 14 00:01:07,715 --> 00:01:10,115 Speaker 1: where we all know in advance, and there's enough time 15 00:01:10,155 --> 00:01:12,915 Speaker 1: for the sledge gangs to put up all the stages 16 00:01:12,955 --> 00:01:16,315 Speaker 1: and tents and refreshment stands, and the jugglers can get 17 00:01:16,315 --> 00:01:19,435 Speaker 1: out the elephants because the circus is coming to town 18 00:01:19,555 --> 00:01:23,475 Speaker 1: in Washington. We do know what was in the Jack 19 00:01:23,515 --> 00:01:27,315 Speaker 1: Smith January sixth target letter, second in a series of 20 00:01:27,875 --> 00:01:31,395 Speaker 1: who Knows how many collect them all received Sunday by 21 00:01:31,435 --> 00:01:34,395 Speaker 1: Trump's lawyers and read to him that night. It was 22 00:01:34,515 --> 00:01:38,275 Speaker 1: Rolling Stone that broke it. It listed just three categories 23 00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:41,715 Speaker 1: of federal statutes the government claims Trump violated and is 24 00:01:41,795 --> 00:01:45,755 Speaker 1: likely to be charged over conspiracy to commit offence or 25 00:01:45,795 --> 00:01:50,995 Speaker 1: defraud the United States, deprivation of rights under color of law, 26 00:01:51,595 --> 00:01:55,075 Speaker 1: and tampering with a witness, victim or an informant. A 27 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:58,915 Speaker 1: few hours later, ABC News confirmed those three categories word 28 00:01:58,995 --> 00:02:02,315 Speaker 1: for word, and both reports noted what is not in 29 00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:05,155 Speaker 1: the letter, As Rolling Stone put it, quote, the letter 30 00:02:05,195 --> 00:02:10,235 Speaker 1: does not mention statutes on sedition or insurrection. I'll add 31 00:02:10,275 --> 00:02:13,635 Speaker 1: there is no category mentioned that could even obliquely house 32 00:02:13,795 --> 00:02:17,915 Speaker 1: charges of wire fraud for scamming people into donating into 33 00:02:17,955 --> 00:02:22,595 Speaker 1: that bottomless slush fund ostensibly designed to fund Trump's effort 34 00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:25,675 Speaker 1: to overturn a stolen election. Jack Smith has clearly been 35 00:02:25,675 --> 00:02:30,515 Speaker 1: trying to prove Trump knew was not stolen. Perhaps the 36 00:02:30,555 --> 00:02:33,675 Speaker 1: most important fact about the target letter is that it 37 00:02:33,755 --> 00:02:36,595 Speaker 1: does not have to be inclusive, and it does not 38 00:02:36,715 --> 00:02:39,715 Speaker 1: have to spell out charges, and that there were counts 39 00:02:39,755 --> 00:02:43,515 Speaker 1: in the classified documents case indictments that were not even 40 00:02:43,715 --> 00:02:48,395 Speaker 1: obliquely referenced in that letter. Either Trump is the only 41 00:02:48,475 --> 00:02:52,395 Speaker 1: person named in the letter, says Rolling Stone source quoting ABC. 42 00:02:52,875 --> 00:02:56,435 Speaker 1: Multiple sources tell ABC News that allies aids and attorneys 43 00:02:56,435 --> 00:02:59,035 Speaker 1: for the former president have been working to determine if 44 00:02:59,035 --> 00:03:03,515 Speaker 1: anyone else received a target letter. Quote. We can't find anyone, 45 00:03:03,755 --> 00:03:09,035 Speaker 1: unquote said Tuesday afternoon. Rudy Giuliani's lawyer confirms on the 46 00:03:09,075 --> 00:03:12,075 Speaker 1: record he did not get a target letter. Same from 47 00:03:12,195 --> 00:03:16,995 Speaker 1: John Eastman's lawyer. No firm answers from Jeffrey Clark, Michael Roman, 48 00:03:17,075 --> 00:03:22,555 Speaker 1: Boris Epstein, or Mark Meadows he flipped or any other 49 00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:25,835 Speaker 1: Trump lawyer involved in the fake elector's end of the 50 00:03:25,875 --> 00:03:29,915 Speaker 1: coup attempt. Conventional wisdom had developed the Jacksmith was going 51 00:03:29,955 --> 00:03:32,515 Speaker 1: to reel in not only Trump but also a lot 52 00:03:32,555 --> 00:03:35,235 Speaker 1: of his legal co conspirators. And that's one of the 53 00:03:35,275 --> 00:03:39,635 Speaker 1: problems with conventional wisdom. So let me now quote more 54 00:03:39,715 --> 00:03:43,635 Speaker 1: conventional wisdom. Rolling Stone, the New York Times, and ABC 55 00:03:43,955 --> 00:03:47,315 Speaker 1: led the way here, quoting experts who believe that one 56 00:03:47,355 --> 00:03:50,795 Speaker 1: of the GISTs of this case spelled out or at 57 00:03:50,835 --> 00:03:53,515 Speaker 1: least referred to in the letter, may center on the 58 00:03:53,595 --> 00:03:57,075 Speaker 1: effort to produce false documents that would be the actual 59 00:03:57,315 --> 00:04:01,515 Speaker 1: physical slates of electors, which would be that first category 60 00:04:01,515 --> 00:04:05,675 Speaker 1: of charge, conspiracy to defraud the United States false electors 61 00:04:05,915 --> 00:04:10,035 Speaker 1: and then using those documents and those electors to pressure 62 00:04:10,115 --> 00:04:13,995 Speaker 1: Mike Pence and others to act illegally, which could be 63 00:04:14,075 --> 00:04:17,915 Speaker 1: deprivation of rights under color of law. Rolling Stone says 64 00:04:17,955 --> 00:04:21,035 Speaker 1: there are charges in there, specifically relating to the pressure 65 00:04:21,075 --> 00:04:25,715 Speaker 1: on Pence during the Electoral College ceremony on January sixth, 66 00:04:26,035 --> 00:04:28,595 Speaker 1: and The Times quotes the former White House Ethics chief 67 00:04:28,595 --> 00:04:32,795 Speaker 1: Norm Eisen. By leading the effort to procure fraudulent electoral 68 00:04:32,875 --> 00:04:38,075 Speaker 1: certificates across the nation, Trump helmed a conspiracy to defraud 69 00:04:38,115 --> 00:04:41,555 Speaker 1: the US, and by using those false documents to press 70 00:04:41,555 --> 00:04:44,795 Speaker 1: Mike Pence to disrupt the January sixth meeting of Congress, 71 00:04:44,995 --> 00:04:49,635 Speaker 1: Trump attempted to obstruct an official proceeding. As an aside, 72 00:04:49,675 --> 00:04:53,595 Speaker 1: no one, no one anywhere, no offense, mister Eisen, no one, 73 00:04:53,875 --> 00:04:58,035 Speaker 1: no one anywhere has ever said the word helmed aloud. 74 00:04:59,755 --> 00:05:03,875 Speaker 1: Deprivation of rights under color of law is section two 75 00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:06,835 Speaker 1: four to two, Title eighteen of the US Code, and 76 00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:10,955 Speaker 1: while it is almost always used in discrimination cases, the 77 00:05:10,995 --> 00:05:15,475 Speaker 1: government explains the law thusly. It covers some acts done 78 00:05:15,675 --> 00:05:21,235 Speaker 1: by government officials lawfully quote, but also acts done beyond 79 00:05:21,275 --> 00:05:24,435 Speaker 1: the bounds of that official's lawful authority, if the acts 80 00:05:24,475 --> 00:05:29,115 Speaker 1: are done while the official is purporting to or pretending 81 00:05:29,235 --> 00:05:33,795 Speaker 1: to act, in the performance of his slash her official duties. 82 00:05:34,395 --> 00:05:37,955 Speaker 1: If Trump as president is telling Pence as vice president 83 00:05:38,155 --> 00:05:41,755 Speaker 1: he is lawfully required to stop the certification of the 84 00:05:41,795 --> 00:05:45,475 Speaker 1: Biden electors, and Pence is not lawfully required to do that, 85 00:05:45,755 --> 00:05:48,755 Speaker 1: not even lawfully allowed to do that, that act by 86 00:05:48,755 --> 00:05:53,635 Speaker 1: Trump could easily be deprivation of Pence's rights. As an aside, 87 00:05:54,035 --> 00:05:57,875 Speaker 1: There is a huge irony here, pointed out by NBC 88 00:05:58,235 --> 00:06:02,315 Speaker 1: Justice reporter Ryan Riley. Whether deprivation of rights under color 89 00:06:02,355 --> 00:06:05,275 Speaker 1: of law is the Pence thing or it's something else. 90 00:06:05,595 --> 00:06:10,195 Speaker 1: It loudly echoes the day half a century ago, nineteen 91 00:06:10,275 --> 00:06:14,835 Speaker 1: seventy three, when the Justice Department, you know, Jack Smith's 92 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:20,315 Speaker 1: current employers, indicted Trump management, Fred Trump chairman, and his 93 00:06:20,555 --> 00:06:26,195 Speaker 1: weird kid, Donald President for discriminating against black renters at 94 00:06:26,195 --> 00:06:30,555 Speaker 1: the Trump Wilshire apartments in Jamaica. Estates in the New 95 00:06:30,675 --> 00:06:35,755 Speaker 1: York borough of Queen's The Trumps settled Dementia. J Trump 96 00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:39,555 Speaker 1: claimed victory at a pattern of public racism in Trump's 97 00:06:39,555 --> 00:06:42,915 Speaker 1: life that has lasted half a century was established if 98 00:06:42,915 --> 00:06:46,275 Speaker 1: it hadn't been established in the womb. As to that 99 00:06:46,475 --> 00:06:49,835 Speaker 1: third category of charge in the letter, I have found 100 00:06:49,995 --> 00:06:54,035 Speaker 1: no wisdom, conventional or otherwise about the tampering with the 101 00:06:54,115 --> 00:06:58,075 Speaker 1: witness part or tampering with a witness, victim or informant. 102 00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:02,155 Speaker 1: But it could easily be the Cassidy Hutchinson case where 103 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,875 Speaker 1: a Trump provided lawyer urged her to not remember what 104 00:07:04,995 --> 00:07:09,195 Speaker 1: she clearly did remember. Or tampering could be the Pence stuff, 105 00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:11,515 Speaker 1: and the deprivation of rights under color of law could 106 00:07:11,555 --> 00:07:16,835 Speaker 1: be something else. Altogether, there continues to be some reporting, 107 00:07:17,035 --> 00:07:21,155 Speaker 1: but far more murmuring below the surface that whenever we 108 00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,635 Speaker 1: see this grand jury report, it is going to be 109 00:07:23,755 --> 00:07:27,155 Speaker 1: filled with enough separate counts, as I phrased it in 110 00:07:27,235 --> 00:07:30,915 Speaker 1: my bulletin podcast report yesterday, to make the first case 111 00:07:30,995 --> 00:07:34,435 Speaker 1: look like a small stack of parking tickets. In addition 112 00:07:34,475 --> 00:07:38,315 Speaker 1: to the prospect of other categories of Trumpan criming, that 113 00:07:38,435 --> 00:07:41,355 Speaker 1: first one defrauding the government, why that might as well 114 00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:44,715 Speaker 1: be accompanied with an actual CT scan of dementia j 115 00:07:44,915 --> 00:07:51,315 Speaker 1: Trump's head. Defrauding the government that is Trump's reason for existence. 116 00:07:52,395 --> 00:07:55,075 Speaker 1: The fake electors are doubtless included in there, and Trump 117 00:07:55,155 --> 00:07:58,795 Speaker 1: would certainly be charged for each separate slate from each 118 00:07:58,955 --> 00:08:02,275 Speaker 1: separate state. In fact, he could be charged with each 119 00:08:02,515 --> 00:08:06,875 Speaker 1: separate elector from each set state. And the ones indicted 120 00:08:06,915 --> 00:08:11,115 Speaker 1: by Michigan's attorney generally yesterday totaled sixteen. That could be 121 00:08:11,195 --> 00:08:15,355 Speaker 1: sixteen Trump charges right there. It makes sense thus to 122 00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:20,115 Speaker 1: mention here the curiosities in that Michigan indictment. These sixteen 123 00:08:20,155 --> 00:08:23,355 Speaker 1: were sitting ducks because state law there requires that for 124 00:08:23,435 --> 00:08:27,275 Speaker 1: their electoral votes to count, they had to meet in 125 00:08:27,435 --> 00:08:30,355 Speaker 1: the state capitol. So that's what they all wrote on 126 00:08:30,395 --> 00:08:33,075 Speaker 1: the forms. Except oops, they did not meet in the 127 00:08:33,075 --> 00:08:36,915 Speaker 1: state capitol. They met in Republican headquarters in a basement somewhere, 128 00:08:37,235 --> 00:08:39,995 Speaker 1: and they are thus probably all on the hook for perjury. 129 00:08:40,155 --> 00:08:44,275 Speaker 1: Just to start with, Republican National Committee woman Kathy Burden 130 00:08:44,435 --> 00:08:47,075 Speaker 1: is one of the Michigan defendants, as is somebody named 131 00:08:47,075 --> 00:08:50,195 Speaker 1: Michelle Lundgren who told the Detroit TV station that she 132 00:08:50,315 --> 00:08:54,155 Speaker 1: thought she was signing an attendance sheet for a meeting. Yeah, 133 00:08:54,195 --> 00:08:57,875 Speaker 1: the Liar's Club. Also indicted was the fake elector and 134 00:08:58,035 --> 00:09:02,395 Speaker 1: former Michigan gop CO chair Mishaw Maddock, who only on 135 00:09:02,435 --> 00:09:06,195 Speaker 1: Monday had tweeted a wonderful meet. It's a picture of 136 00:09:06,275 --> 00:09:09,235 Speaker 1: a gull on a beach, and the gull is marked me. 137 00:09:10,315 --> 00:09:13,435 Speaker 1: One leg of the gull is outstretched towards something on 138 00:09:13,475 --> 00:09:16,835 Speaker 1: the beach, marked that, and the caption to the whole 139 00:09:16,875 --> 00:09:22,955 Speaker 1: thing is everyone don't do that. She should probably delete 140 00:09:22,955 --> 00:09:25,195 Speaker 1: that meme and replace it with one of those f 141 00:09:25,235 --> 00:09:30,115 Speaker 1: around and find out memes. Back to Trump. And one 142 00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:32,635 Speaker 1: of the exhausting parts of this story for both you 143 00:09:32,675 --> 00:09:34,755 Speaker 1: and I is that twenty four hours ago, if you 144 00:09:34,795 --> 00:09:39,235 Speaker 1: had said that two hundred and fifty words into today's commentary, 145 00:09:39,675 --> 00:09:42,835 Speaker 1: I would not have substantively addressed the first day of 146 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:47,155 Speaker 1: pre trial in the court of Judge Eileen Cannon, you know, 147 00:09:47,235 --> 00:09:49,235 Speaker 1: the woman who I said yesterday will in part decide 148 00:09:49,235 --> 00:09:52,075 Speaker 1: whether we all live or die. I would not have 149 00:09:52,115 --> 00:09:54,835 Speaker 1: believed you. But that is how fast and how dramatically 150 00:09:54,835 --> 00:09:58,155 Speaker 1: events have been moving. It was like this during Watergate, 151 00:09:58,195 --> 00:10:01,475 Speaker 1: too sunny, and that was beginning to get like this 152 00:10:01,915 --> 00:10:04,275 Speaker 1: just about fifty years ago. Right around now. And if 153 00:10:04,315 --> 00:10:07,435 Speaker 1: you can get good odds in Vegas for the day 154 00:10:07,475 --> 00:10:11,755 Speaker 1: Trump reports to prison or is disqualified from serving, or 155 00:10:11,755 --> 00:10:14,715 Speaker 1: he flees the country, or however he wraps this up. 156 00:10:15,075 --> 00:10:19,675 Speaker 1: Bet on either August eighth, twenty twenty four or August ninth, 157 00:10:19,755 --> 00:10:23,755 Speaker 1: twenty twenty four, because those days are exactly fifty years 158 00:10:23,755 --> 00:10:27,235 Speaker 1: to the day since Nixon announced he would resign and 159 00:10:27,315 --> 00:10:31,435 Speaker 1: then did resign. On the other hand, in the living 160 00:10:31,595 --> 00:10:34,955 Speaker 1: in a blender feel that Watergate provided the news did 161 00:10:34,995 --> 00:10:38,235 Speaker 1: seem to come only one or two stories a day 162 00:10:38,915 --> 00:10:43,315 Speaker 1: instead of, you know, the Special Council's second target letter 163 00:10:43,435 --> 00:10:46,635 Speaker 1: to the defendant ex President dropping three hours before the 164 00:10:46,675 --> 00:10:49,155 Speaker 1: defendant's lawyers are trying to get the results of the 165 00:10:49,155 --> 00:10:52,835 Speaker 1: Special Council's first target letter to the ex President postponed 166 00:10:52,995 --> 00:10:55,675 Speaker 1: till the year twenty five, twenty five, if Man is 167 00:10:55,715 --> 00:11:00,795 Speaker 1: still alive. The news out of the Florida court is 168 00:11:00,835 --> 00:11:03,355 Speaker 1: that there was very little news and that's good news. 169 00:11:03,995 --> 00:11:06,155 Speaker 1: And the news is but Eileen Cannon did not roll 170 00:11:06,195 --> 00:11:08,795 Speaker 1: over and woof on cue for the man who appointed her. 171 00:11:09,155 --> 00:11:11,915 Speaker 1: The judge is yet to formally rule on any of this, 172 00:11:12,035 --> 00:11:14,515 Speaker 1: but she said both that the mid December opening of 173 00:11:14,555 --> 00:11:17,875 Speaker 1: the trial that Jack Smith wanted ideally is too soon 174 00:11:18,275 --> 00:11:21,635 Speaker 1: and does indeed conflict with Trump's civil two hundred and 175 00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:26,315 Speaker 1: fifty million dollar fraud trial in October. I think in 176 00:11:26,355 --> 00:11:28,395 Speaker 1: the old days of the New York Airports we called 177 00:11:28,435 --> 00:11:32,675 Speaker 1: this gait saturation. She also indicated, though, the idea about 178 00:11:32,715 --> 00:11:35,515 Speaker 1: pushing the trial until after the election is not a 179 00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:38,675 Speaker 1: serious one. That is why she asked about moving the 180 00:11:38,715 --> 00:11:42,555 Speaker 1: Alvin Bragg trial dates in New York next March. I'm 181 00:11:42,595 --> 00:11:47,315 Speaker 1: sure Alvin will oblige. Trump lawyer Todd Blanche told Judge 182 00:11:47,355 --> 00:11:51,075 Speaker 1: Cannon he sees the documents trial lasting six to seven weeks. 183 00:11:51,475 --> 00:11:54,155 Speaker 1: Prosecutors say they can get through their part in twenty 184 00:11:54,195 --> 00:11:57,395 Speaker 1: one days. The wild cards would be handling the classified 185 00:11:57,435 --> 00:12:02,115 Speaker 1: documents and the paneling a jury of Trump's peers, like 186 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:06,675 Speaker 1: there's anybody else like this guy in the universe. Still, 187 00:12:06,835 --> 00:12:10,515 Speaker 1: the overarching news from Judge Cannon's courtroom is positive. It 188 00:12:10,595 --> 00:12:14,115 Speaker 1: remains Cannon did not open the thing up by shutting 189 00:12:14,195 --> 00:12:18,395 Speaker 1: it all down to hop briefly through the looking glass 190 00:12:18,435 --> 00:12:22,275 Speaker 1: people and see all this from parallel America, white Land, 191 00:12:22,435 --> 00:12:26,715 Speaker 1: fascist land, Trump Land. Guess what this is? All a diversion. 192 00:12:26,915 --> 00:12:29,955 Speaker 1: Didn't you know that there's no case, There has been 193 00:12:29,995 --> 00:12:33,115 Speaker 1: no investigation. The target letter to Trump was sent for 194 00:12:33,195 --> 00:12:35,555 Speaker 1: only one reason. And it was only written the other day, 195 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:39,675 Speaker 1: and it only exists to distract America from the latest 196 00:12:40,195 --> 00:12:45,355 Speaker 1: James Comer Hunter Biden's scandal fairy tale and the revelation 197 00:12:45,435 --> 00:12:49,995 Speaker 1: of the identity of whistleblower X. I believe she was 198 00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:53,075 Speaker 1: played by Lana Turner in a movie in nineteen sixty six. 199 00:12:54,195 --> 00:12:57,795 Speaker 1: As the most nit witted Fox News actresses. Harris Faulkner 200 00:12:58,075 --> 00:13:01,155 Speaker 1: said to a Republican congressman yesterday, what about the timing? 201 00:13:01,555 --> 00:13:04,075 Speaker 1: Everybody knew you were going to do this hearing tomorrow. 202 00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:08,195 Speaker 1: The only reference to the looming indictments of their former 203 00:13:08,275 --> 00:13:12,155 Speaker 1: president in the Washington Examiner, which is ostensibly a newspaper, 204 00:13:12,555 --> 00:13:16,155 Speaker 1: is about his reaction and a quote from him about 205 00:13:16,315 --> 00:13:21,395 Speaker 1: election interference. One far right operative responded to all this 206 00:13:21,475 --> 00:13:24,235 Speaker 1: by tweeting the list of the fake electors indicted in 207 00:13:24,315 --> 00:13:27,555 Speaker 1: Michigan with their ages next to their names, and captioned 208 00:13:27,555 --> 00:13:32,955 Speaker 1: it only quote, They're going after seniors who support Trump 209 00:13:33,155 --> 00:13:39,035 Speaker 1: now and the biggest story on the ever more sad 210 00:13:39,275 --> 00:13:44,955 Speaker 1: CNN homepage is Trump convening with his whores, Kevin McCarthy, 211 00:13:44,995 --> 00:13:49,235 Speaker 1: Matt Gates, Byron Donald's, Jim Jordan, and Elise Stefanik and 212 00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:51,795 Speaker 1: trying to figure out how to go on offense against 213 00:13:51,875 --> 00:13:56,075 Speaker 1: Jack Smith and the entire prosecution. CNN happily provided Trump 214 00:13:56,115 --> 00:14:00,315 Speaker 1: and his minions with his first pushback by quoting Gates's 215 00:14:00,315 --> 00:14:04,235 Speaker 1: bid to quote defund the Jack Smith investigation and the 216 00:14:04,315 --> 00:14:07,955 Speaker 1: loudest Donald's basically threatening the Department of Justice. And it 217 00:14:08,035 --> 00:14:11,595 Speaker 1: also let Jordans suggest that Congress should no longer fund 218 00:14:11,835 --> 00:14:17,235 Speaker 1: DOJ investigations of wait for this, no longer fund DOJ 219 00:14:17,475 --> 00:14:23,635 Speaker 1: investigations of elected officials, political candidates, and their families until 220 00:14:23,715 --> 00:14:29,195 Speaker 1: new policies are established. A. Jim, we have policies. They're 221 00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:34,035 Speaker 1: called laws. B. Jim, you seem to forget that. Under 222 00:14:34,035 --> 00:14:36,515 Speaker 1: your plan, all you'd have to do to get away 223 00:14:36,515 --> 00:14:40,515 Speaker 1: with a crime, any crime, is to declare your candidacy 224 00:14:40,955 --> 00:14:45,995 Speaker 1: for office, any office. Of course, given Jim Jordan's personal history, 225 00:14:45,995 --> 00:14:47,715 Speaker 1: there's every chance that to him that is not a 226 00:14:47,715 --> 00:14:51,995 Speaker 1: bug but a feature in the supposed middle. This is 227 00:14:52,035 --> 00:14:55,475 Speaker 1: where we are right now in America and American politics 228 00:14:55,475 --> 00:15:00,075 Speaker 1: and American political news. A political headline posted late last 229 00:15:00,155 --> 00:15:03,675 Speaker 1: night at the Politico website asked this question in the headline, 230 00:15:04,915 --> 00:15:08,675 Speaker 1: indictment wrenches open the central question of twenty twenty four 231 00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:14,715 Speaker 1: is Trump fit to serve? I really did expect to 232 00:15:14,755 --> 00:15:18,435 Speaker 1: see below that about twenty four inches of blank space 233 00:15:18,515 --> 00:15:23,235 Speaker 1: on my computer screen, followed by just four words no, 234 00:15:23,515 --> 00:15:27,435 Speaker 1: of course not. Yeah, that's not what was there. Because 235 00:15:27,475 --> 00:15:30,835 Speaker 1: in this Ohio diner, when Trump long ago said he 236 00:15:30,875 --> 00:15:33,955 Speaker 1: could shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue and not lose any supporters, 237 00:15:34,075 --> 00:15:37,635 Speaker 1: he was actually being circumspect. He could shoot somebody on 238 00:15:37,715 --> 00:15:41,435 Speaker 1: Fifth Avenue and not lose any news sites desperate to 239 00:15:41,475 --> 00:15:45,235 Speaker 1: apply both SIDESSM to his crime. He could launch nukes 240 00:15:45,715 --> 00:15:48,715 Speaker 1: and some reporter from Politico or somewhere else would spend 241 00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:53,475 Speaker 1: the last moment of our planetary collective existence tweeting. But 242 00:15:53,595 --> 00:16:02,075 Speaker 1: won't this really hurt Biden? More? Also of interest here, 243 00:16:02,075 --> 00:16:03,955 Speaker 1: I want to repeat an observation I made in the 244 00:16:03,955 --> 00:16:07,355 Speaker 1: bullet And yesterday. I am convinced now that Ron DeSantis 245 00:16:07,595 --> 00:16:11,475 Speaker 1: is there only to make Trump look good. By contrast, 246 00:16:12,235 --> 00:16:18,835 Speaker 1: DeSantis's first big mainstream media interview four o'clock yesterday, swamped 247 00:16:18,875 --> 00:16:23,355 Speaker 1: by Trump's pre trial, Trump's target letter, Trump's primetime interview, 248 00:16:24,155 --> 00:16:27,955 Speaker 1: and he actually says something DeSantis does that gets quoted, 249 00:16:27,995 --> 00:16:31,435 Speaker 1: and unfortunately it's a callback to that incident where he 250 00:16:31,515 --> 00:16:36,915 Speaker 1: reportedly ate custard at dinner with his hands. Asked by 251 00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:40,075 Speaker 1: Jake Tamper whether moving further to the right on cultural 252 00:16:40,115 --> 00:16:45,035 Speaker 1: issues in Florida makes him less electable nationally, DeSantis answered, quote, 253 00:16:45,795 --> 00:16:50,355 Speaker 1: I don't think it's true. The proof is in the pudding. 254 00:16:52,635 --> 00:16:56,235 Speaker 1: Fingers are in the pudding fats. Not that the stain 255 00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:58,475 Speaker 1: of that will be hard to clean off for him. 256 00:16:58,915 --> 00:17:03,635 Speaker 1: But the aforementioned Washington Examiner quoted it in its DeSantis 257 00:17:03,675 --> 00:17:08,435 Speaker 1: story last night four different times. I'll say it again. 258 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:13,195 Speaker 1: If Trump falls, jumps, or gets pushed out of window, 259 00:17:13,555 --> 00:17:16,875 Speaker 1: he will survive the fall without a scratch because he 260 00:17:16,955 --> 00:17:25,075 Speaker 1: will land on Ron DeSantis. One other thing, I have 261 00:17:25,155 --> 00:17:29,595 Speaker 1: been ignoring the dogs here at home. Yeah a little, 262 00:17:29,675 --> 00:17:32,875 Speaker 1: but I really mean on the podcast. So let me 263 00:17:32,915 --> 00:17:35,435 Speaker 1: tell you of the day I went from no dogs 264 00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:39,675 Speaker 1: to all dogs. And I'll introduce you to my special guest, 265 00:17:40,235 --> 00:17:44,875 Speaker 1: my birthday Gal Stevie. We've just turned eleven, and I'll 266 00:17:44,915 --> 00:17:48,675 Speaker 1: tell you how she and Rudy Giuliani figured in my 267 00:17:48,795 --> 00:17:53,955 Speaker 1: becoming born again in dogs. That's next. This is Countdown. 268 00:17:55,635 --> 00:18:04,075 Speaker 1: This is Countdown with Keith Olberman. Now on a day 269 00:18:04,155 --> 00:18:07,835 Speaker 1: of an unusual Rundown for Countdown. Since I had two 270 00:18:07,835 --> 00:18:09,595 Speaker 1: of them to do yesterday, I kind of ran out 271 00:18:09,595 --> 00:18:11,955 Speaker 1: of time, which is fine because I've been wanting to 272 00:18:11,955 --> 00:18:14,675 Speaker 1: tell this for a while. We're already at the number 273 00:18:14,755 --> 00:18:17,275 Speaker 1: one story on the countdown and my favorite topic, me 274 00:18:17,435 --> 00:18:21,235 Speaker 1: and things I promised not to tell busy month around 275 00:18:21,315 --> 00:18:25,235 Speaker 1: here with the dogs. July first was Ted's Gotcha day, 276 00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:27,475 Speaker 1: five years since he came in as a foster, and 277 00:18:27,515 --> 00:18:31,795 Speaker 1: then I failed profoundly once again. Lucky me. I don't 278 00:18:31,795 --> 00:18:34,075 Speaker 1: know how Ted found me, but here he is. A 279 00:18:34,115 --> 00:18:36,675 Speaker 1: week later, it was Stevie's birthday, the big one to one. 280 00:18:37,315 --> 00:18:39,915 Speaker 1: A week after that, Mene turned sixteen. I told you 281 00:18:39,915 --> 00:18:43,875 Speaker 1: about mine. He's the rescue who had outlived his human 282 00:18:43,955 --> 00:18:45,795 Speaker 1: and they thought he had dementia and we had to 283 00:18:45,795 --> 00:18:47,835 Speaker 1: take all of his teeth out. And when he first 284 00:18:47,915 --> 00:18:51,555 Speaker 1: got here, he was like a roomba and he didn't 285 00:18:51,595 --> 00:18:53,915 Speaker 1: have dementia, he had bad teeth, and once we took 286 00:18:53,955 --> 00:18:56,875 Speaker 1: out the bad teeth, ninety percent of his dementia cleared up, 287 00:18:57,035 --> 00:18:59,795 Speaker 1: and he's gained three pounds since then. He started talking 288 00:18:59,835 --> 00:19:02,355 Speaker 1: to me now, and he understands most of what I 289 00:19:02,435 --> 00:19:05,915 Speaker 1: say to him, even though he really only understands French. 290 00:19:06,795 --> 00:19:10,235 Speaker 1: It's a long story. He's also the best on a 291 00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:15,155 Speaker 1: walk dog in the world. But if you had said 292 00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:18,875 Speaker 1: any of this to me on September thirtieth, twenty twelve, 293 00:19:18,915 --> 00:19:21,795 Speaker 1: not one word of it would have made any sense 294 00:19:21,835 --> 00:19:26,195 Speaker 1: to me. I had never had a dog. Allergies and 295 00:19:26,355 --> 00:19:30,675 Speaker 1: travel and work. And then Olivia looked at me and said, 296 00:19:30,915 --> 00:19:33,555 Speaker 1: I need a puppy fix. That was the exact quote. 297 00:19:33,995 --> 00:19:37,915 Speaker 1: This was September thirtieth, twenty twelve, nearly eleven years ago, 298 00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:43,395 Speaker 1: and my girlfriend, Olivia, her family dog, was dying. My 299 00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:45,915 Speaker 1: girlfriend wouldn't say it, her folks wouldn't say it. The dog, 300 00:19:46,035 --> 00:19:49,075 Speaker 1: a Jack Russell Terrier named Casey, did her best to 301 00:19:49,115 --> 00:19:52,315 Speaker 1: be the only truthful one in the bunch, moving purposefully 302 00:19:52,475 --> 00:19:55,755 Speaker 1: and unsteadily with every step and looking out at her 303 00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:59,915 Speaker 1: world with a seeming mixture of acceptance and sadness and 304 00:20:00,035 --> 00:20:04,355 Speaker 1: regret that the one time she really needed bipeds to 305 00:20:04,675 --> 00:20:08,795 Speaker 1: speak for her, they wouldn't. I just need for dogs, 306 00:20:08,795 --> 00:20:11,995 Speaker 1: not to mean sadness. Olivia said, just for a while, 307 00:20:12,675 --> 00:20:15,315 Speaker 1: can we go to that pet shop on Lex? I 308 00:20:15,395 --> 00:20:18,035 Speaker 1: mumbled that we could go, but that I had resisted. 309 00:20:18,075 --> 00:20:21,675 Speaker 1: The dog entreaties of eleven girlfriends before her, and I 310 00:20:21,715 --> 00:20:25,955 Speaker 1: would successfully resist hers. I had always loved dogs, but 311 00:20:26,035 --> 00:20:29,035 Speaker 1: I was really allergic to them, and my doctors had 312 00:20:29,075 --> 00:20:32,635 Speaker 1: all said that even hypoallergenic dogs were a crap shoot. 313 00:20:33,195 --> 00:20:36,755 Speaker 1: She said, I do not want a dog. I am 314 00:20:36,755 --> 00:20:39,435 Speaker 1: not trying to convince you to get us a dog. 315 00:20:40,075 --> 00:20:42,875 Speaker 1: I just want to hold a puppy for a little while. 316 00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:46,355 Speaker 1: She paused, as she always did when she felt both 317 00:20:46,395 --> 00:20:49,275 Speaker 1: hopeless and angry at being at the mercy of feelings, 318 00:20:49,755 --> 00:20:53,075 Speaker 1: and she lapsed into the shrug emoji. As sappy as 319 00:20:53,075 --> 00:20:58,595 Speaker 1: that sounds, Olivia the girlfriend, the former girlfriend, let me 320 00:20:58,635 --> 00:21:01,595 Speaker 1: make this easier on both of us. We'll call her TFGF. 321 00:21:01,675 --> 00:21:04,475 Speaker 1: The former girlfriend TFGF and I left for the pet 322 00:21:04,475 --> 00:21:06,635 Speaker 1: shop job in midafternoon, and I told her my true 323 00:21:06,675 --> 00:21:10,515 Speaker 1: fear here that my native but dormant shared affinity with 324 00:21:10,635 --> 00:21:13,755 Speaker 1: dogs would all of a moment spring fully grown from 325 00:21:13,795 --> 00:21:17,115 Speaker 1: my soul, and I would blurt, just give me all 326 00:21:17,155 --> 00:21:20,155 Speaker 1: of them. I mean, what kind of life could I 327 00:21:20,235 --> 00:21:24,315 Speaker 1: offer a dog? I was on television and thus always 328 00:21:24,355 --> 00:21:27,155 Speaker 1: in a television studio, and thus never home for play 329 00:21:27,675 --> 00:21:31,315 Speaker 1: or walks or just the prevention of canine loneliness. I 330 00:21:31,355 --> 00:21:33,915 Speaker 1: had a girlfriend who lived out of town. Half the time, 331 00:21:34,355 --> 00:21:37,235 Speaker 1: I was clueless as to every practical aspect of the 332 00:21:37,355 --> 00:21:41,475 Speaker 1: dog thing. I had littered the continent with dead house plants, 333 00:21:41,835 --> 00:21:44,315 Speaker 1: and I no longer thought myself capable of pulling my 334 00:21:44,435 --> 00:21:48,155 Speaker 1: ego out of my backside sufficiently to take care of fish. 335 00:21:48,915 --> 00:21:51,435 Speaker 1: I had literally not had a pet of any kind 336 00:21:51,835 --> 00:21:56,395 Speaker 1: since nineteen sixty seven. I had come to terms with 337 00:21:56,555 --> 00:21:59,635 Speaker 1: living in a wistful, hazy world in which I might 338 00:22:00,035 --> 00:22:03,435 Speaker 1: inadvertently have a dog pal for a few moments, but 339 00:22:03,555 --> 00:22:06,275 Speaker 1: almost never endore, and never without the pang of knowing 340 00:22:06,275 --> 00:22:10,115 Speaker 1: that the hello itself contained the start of the goodbye. 341 00:22:10,155 --> 00:22:15,115 Speaker 1: And I was allergic. I was allergic to the obvious big, furry, 342 00:22:15,155 --> 00:22:18,275 Speaker 1: friendly dogs, and I might be allergic to the ones 343 00:22:18,315 --> 00:22:22,195 Speaker 1: that were built as non allergic. And if I disobeyed 344 00:22:22,235 --> 00:22:26,795 Speaker 1: this immutable cannon, the buried tears of permanent exclusion might 345 00:22:26,835 --> 00:22:29,715 Speaker 1: be replaced by far worse ones of separation and loss. 346 00:22:29,915 --> 00:22:34,355 Speaker 1: Me I would get over it, probably, but without overvaluing 347 00:22:34,395 --> 00:22:37,235 Speaker 1: myself too much to betray the love of a dog 348 00:22:38,235 --> 00:22:45,115 Speaker 1: to send a dog back because of allergies as TFGF 349 00:22:45,115 --> 00:22:48,475 Speaker 1: and I approached the shop, there was, as there almost 350 00:22:48,515 --> 00:22:52,915 Speaker 1: always is, there a small crowd undulating around it. Lexington 351 00:22:52,995 --> 00:22:56,715 Speaker 1: Avenue's narrow sidewalks make these human clots easier to form, 352 00:22:56,795 --> 00:22:59,995 Speaker 1: even late on the first Sunday of autumn. There is 353 00:23:00,035 --> 00:23:03,275 Speaker 1: also an obstacle course of grates and cellar doors and 354 00:23:03,355 --> 00:23:07,475 Speaker 1: bikes chained poll and parking meters and canopies for diners 355 00:23:07,475 --> 00:23:10,475 Speaker 1: and restaurants and mattress showrooms and other places that are 356 00:23:10,515 --> 00:23:15,715 Speaker 1: not quite seedy but also aren't quite your first choice. 357 00:23:15,835 --> 00:23:18,915 Speaker 1: The uptown edges of the grime and noise that constitute 358 00:23:18,955 --> 00:23:23,155 Speaker 1: the maze of fifty ninth Street Bridge approaches lend the 359 00:23:23,195 --> 00:23:27,315 Speaker 1: place a congested feel even when it's otherwise quiet. We 360 00:23:27,395 --> 00:23:29,755 Speaker 1: are three blocks up from the trying just a little 361 00:23:29,755 --> 00:23:34,555 Speaker 1: too hard merchandising of Bloomingdale's. There are unwashed delivery trucks, 362 00:23:34,595 --> 00:23:36,835 Speaker 1: double parked three hundred and sixty five days a year, 363 00:23:36,835 --> 00:23:40,275 Speaker 1: and then totally out of place amid the prosaic trappings 364 00:23:40,275 --> 00:23:43,595 Speaker 1: of a big city at its most meh. There they 365 00:23:43,635 --> 00:23:48,355 Speaker 1: are bouncing off each other, tearing infinitely at other, tiny 366 00:23:48,395 --> 00:23:52,595 Speaker 1: heads and tails and paws, doing a seeming pantomime of dismemberment. 367 00:23:52,915 --> 00:23:56,235 Speaker 1: Their yips and the crunch of the shredded cavorting paper 368 00:23:56,675 --> 00:23:58,915 Speaker 1: are just audible through the glass and over the din 369 00:23:59,035 --> 00:24:02,715 Speaker 1: of the street. They create an oasis of cute. And 370 00:24:02,995 --> 00:24:05,515 Speaker 1: just in case you can't tell what they are, there's 371 00:24:05,555 --> 00:24:09,275 Speaker 1: this big Neon sign above their street front window that 372 00:24:09,435 --> 00:24:16,595 Speaker 1: reads puppies. Don't make me go in? I pleaded. She 373 00:24:16,755 --> 00:24:19,235 Speaker 1: reassured me. We'd go in. She'd hold the dog. All 374 00:24:19,235 --> 00:24:22,595 Speaker 1: I had to do was take a picture. You don't understand. 375 00:24:23,275 --> 00:24:25,915 Speaker 1: I reached for her hand. What I'm trying to say 376 00:24:25,995 --> 00:24:28,395 Speaker 1: is I always wanted a dog, but I could never 377 00:24:28,795 --> 00:24:32,635 Speaker 1: have a dog. Just as the door to the shop opened, 378 00:24:32,635 --> 00:24:35,115 Speaker 1: she grabbed my arm. She yanked hard, She swore, and 379 00:24:35,155 --> 00:24:39,115 Speaker 1: she muttered, you'll survive. Man up. Don't make eye contact. 380 00:24:39,155 --> 00:24:41,235 Speaker 1: Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't make 381 00:24:41,275 --> 00:24:45,395 Speaker 1: eye contact. We were going towards puppies and past puppies, 382 00:24:45,635 --> 00:24:47,915 Speaker 1: and the appearance of a small staircase to a training 383 00:24:47,995 --> 00:24:50,955 Speaker 1: loft confirmed we are now going under puppies. And in 384 00:24:50,995 --> 00:24:53,635 Speaker 1: the deepest recesses of the shop there was a wall 385 00:24:53,795 --> 00:24:57,715 Speaker 1: of puppies two hour right, three cages high, six across, 386 00:24:57,915 --> 00:25:01,795 Speaker 1: all a yellowish beige behind a reddish brown for Micah countertop, 387 00:25:01,835 --> 00:25:05,355 Speaker 1: then a structural beam, and then three cages high across, 388 00:25:05,715 --> 00:25:08,235 Speaker 1: then a corner with a small visiting pen built into 389 00:25:08,275 --> 00:25:11,475 Speaker 1: the countertop. Then right in front of me, the Hollywood 390 00:25:11,515 --> 00:25:17,115 Speaker 1: squares of puppies three high, three across, and all of 391 00:25:17,155 --> 00:25:19,475 Speaker 1: their inmates, all nine of them, staring at me and 392 00:25:19,515 --> 00:25:22,315 Speaker 1: screaming at me and making eye contact and saying, by 393 00:25:22,715 --> 00:25:28,515 Speaker 1: esp take me home. A salesman now introduced himself as Jeffrey, 394 00:25:28,515 --> 00:25:32,515 Speaker 1: and Jeffrey asked if TFGF had any particular dog she 395 00:25:32,595 --> 00:25:35,115 Speaker 1: wanted him to bring to her. Let me see them 396 00:25:35,115 --> 00:25:40,955 Speaker 1: all tease the girl. In that moment, two things struck me. Firstly, 397 00:25:40,995 --> 00:25:42,755 Speaker 1: this was my cue to get the phone out and 398 00:25:42,835 --> 00:25:46,035 Speaker 1: prepared to take the photo of her with the puppy. Secondly, 399 00:25:46,075 --> 00:25:49,275 Speaker 1: the dog, whom the salesman was now temporarily liberating from 400 00:25:49,315 --> 00:25:53,915 Speaker 1: the surprisingly spare cage, was the only living soul inside 401 00:25:53,955 --> 00:25:56,795 Speaker 1: that pet shop besides me, who was not making any 402 00:25:56,995 --> 00:26:01,155 Speaker 1: damn noise. Every other puppy was perfecting its adolescent bark. 403 00:26:01,395 --> 00:26:04,755 Speaker 1: The cats were making a bewildering variety of noises, and 404 00:26:04,755 --> 00:26:07,755 Speaker 1: and was that a Norwegian blue parrot squawk, remarkable bird, 405 00:26:07,795 --> 00:26:13,195 Speaker 1: the Norwegian blue. Isn't it beautiful? Plumage? This Maltese said nothing. 406 00:26:14,035 --> 00:26:16,355 Speaker 1: She looked like her torso would easily fit in one 407 00:26:16,355 --> 00:26:19,035 Speaker 1: of my hands if she was three pounds. A quarter 408 00:26:19,075 --> 00:26:21,595 Speaker 1: of it was hair and half of that was curled, 409 00:26:21,995 --> 00:26:24,515 Speaker 1: and presumably somebody came by every day to turn what 410 00:26:24,595 --> 00:26:27,155 Speaker 1: sat atop her head into a mohawk up top and 411 00:26:27,195 --> 00:26:30,635 Speaker 1: a mullet in the back. Her cage mate brother seemed 412 00:26:30,635 --> 00:26:33,635 Speaker 1: a little bigger, but his eyes were clearly smaller, and 413 00:26:33,675 --> 00:26:36,915 Speaker 1: their ocular contrast was immediately visible, even if you still 414 00:26:36,955 --> 00:26:43,035 Speaker 1: had forlorn hopes of avoiding eye contact. His shone hers 415 00:26:43,995 --> 00:26:47,395 Speaker 1: were illuminated. He tried to get past her into the 416 00:26:47,435 --> 00:26:50,715 Speaker 1: salesman's arms. She simply lifted up her head towards him, 417 00:26:50,875 --> 00:26:53,035 Speaker 1: and it actually crossed my mind that she looked like 418 00:26:53,075 --> 00:26:55,235 Speaker 1: she was about to say, Hi, Jeffrey, how are you today? 419 00:26:56,475 --> 00:26:58,435 Speaker 1: He put her gently down in the playpen at the 420 00:26:58,515 --> 00:27:01,835 Speaker 1: right corner of the counter. TFGF asked if she could 421 00:27:01,915 --> 00:27:04,315 Speaker 1: pick the puppy up, and nodded to me to get 422 00:27:04,355 --> 00:27:07,995 Speaker 1: the cat. I'm ready. Honestly, Jeffrey said, this is the 423 00:27:08,035 --> 00:27:10,155 Speaker 1: sweetest dog. We've had in here for months. I say 424 00:27:10,195 --> 00:27:12,795 Speaker 1: that every day to almost everybody, but this time I'm 425 00:27:12,835 --> 00:27:17,675 Speaker 1: actually not lying. TFGFF cradled the Maltese in her arms, 426 00:27:17,675 --> 00:27:20,795 Speaker 1: with the dog's head facing to my right. I tapped 427 00:27:20,795 --> 00:27:23,995 Speaker 1: the camera on the phone. My hand was already shaking 428 00:27:24,635 --> 00:27:26,835 Speaker 1: as I sent it up TFGF and the puppy in 429 00:27:26,835 --> 00:27:30,595 Speaker 1: the frame. The Maltese suddenly wiggled upright, placed her front 430 00:27:30,635 --> 00:27:34,915 Speaker 1: paws on my girlfriend's chest, and just as I snapped 431 00:27:34,915 --> 00:27:38,155 Speaker 1: the image, the dog reached up and kissed my girlfriend 432 00:27:38,195 --> 00:27:44,715 Speaker 1: on the lips. I am, on occasion, completely incapable of 433 00:27:44,795 --> 00:27:51,075 Speaker 1: remembering anything that happened in my entire life before that moment. 434 00:27:53,075 --> 00:27:56,835 Speaker 1: TFGF made the appropriate sounds of approval. Jeffrey began discussing 435 00:27:56,875 --> 00:28:00,195 Speaker 1: how little grooming the Maltese breed needs and the great 436 00:28:00,235 --> 00:28:02,515 Speaker 1: price he could give us, and even as my head spun, 437 00:28:02,555 --> 00:28:04,635 Speaker 1: it seemed silly to me that he was calculating the 438 00:28:04,835 --> 00:28:09,235 Speaker 1: tax on something that was obviously timelessly and eternally priceless. 439 00:28:09,755 --> 00:28:12,475 Speaker 1: TFGF said something about how we needed a minute outside 440 00:28:12,475 --> 00:28:14,875 Speaker 1: to discuss it, and she handed the puppy back to 441 00:28:14,955 --> 00:28:17,155 Speaker 1: Jeffrey and the dog looked at each each of us 442 00:28:17,155 --> 00:28:19,555 Speaker 1: and as if she was about to say nice to 443 00:28:19,595 --> 00:28:23,195 Speaker 1: meet you. As the pup went back up into the 444 00:28:23,195 --> 00:28:27,595 Speaker 1: cage with her brother, something extraordinary happened. The little girl 445 00:28:27,675 --> 00:28:30,555 Speaker 1: was reaching her head up towards the spout of the 446 00:28:30,635 --> 00:28:34,915 Speaker 1: cage's water bottle with the same graceful movement she had 447 00:28:34,955 --> 00:28:38,995 Speaker 1: made to bestow that kiss on TFGF when her brother 448 00:28:39,115 --> 00:28:42,875 Speaker 1: puppy abruptly body slammed her out of the way, and 449 00:28:42,955 --> 00:28:45,715 Speaker 1: her tiny frame bounced off the side of the cage. 450 00:28:45,795 --> 00:28:48,915 Speaker 1: And then, to my shock and confusion, a deep and 451 00:28:49,075 --> 00:28:55,915 Speaker 1: threatening growl, a vengeful h reverberated throughout the pet shop. 452 00:28:57,475 --> 00:29:03,835 Speaker 1: The growl was coming from me. The next sounds were 453 00:29:03,835 --> 00:29:06,755 Speaker 1: from tfg O YEF, my god, what's wrong with you? 454 00:29:07,395 --> 00:29:08,875 Speaker 1: I didn't know it at the time, but as we 455 00:29:08,955 --> 00:29:11,355 Speaker 1: turned to fight our way back out through the shop 456 00:29:11,395 --> 00:29:14,515 Speaker 1: to the street, I evidently half skidded into a display 457 00:29:14,555 --> 00:29:17,795 Speaker 1: full of chew toys. They nearly toppled to the floor. 458 00:29:17,915 --> 00:29:21,035 Speaker 1: I nearly toppled to the floor. I couldn't see, but 459 00:29:21,075 --> 00:29:23,235 Speaker 1: I didn't recognize my own tears until they hit the 460 00:29:23,395 --> 00:29:26,715 Speaker 1: edges of my lips. Somehow I managed to say it again, 461 00:29:26,755 --> 00:29:29,395 Speaker 1: this time in despair. I always wanted a dog, but 462 00:29:29,435 --> 00:29:34,155 Speaker 1: I could never have one. She suddenly realized what had happened. 463 00:29:34,195 --> 00:29:37,475 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm an asshole. TFGF was now 464 00:29:37,515 --> 00:29:40,355 Speaker 1: holding me upright and steering me towards the door to 465 00:29:40,435 --> 00:29:42,195 Speaker 1: the street. I didn't listen to you. I'm an asshole. 466 00:29:42,195 --> 00:29:43,715 Speaker 1: I'm an asshole. You told me. I didn't believe you. 467 00:29:43,755 --> 00:29:47,955 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Well now the stories came pouring out, 468 00:29:48,075 --> 00:29:50,875 Speaker 1: all jumbled, one on top of the other. Tiny, the 469 00:29:51,075 --> 00:29:54,995 Speaker 1: Saint Bernard at the Katzensteins. He only wanted to embrace me. 470 00:29:55,035 --> 00:29:58,035 Speaker 1: He wasn't trying to eat me. And the mcconnon's mutt 471 00:29:58,075 --> 00:30:00,235 Speaker 1: next door, Boots used to come sit on my lap, 472 00:30:00,275 --> 00:30:02,835 Speaker 1: and Tiny didn't make me sneeze, He only scared me. 473 00:30:02,875 --> 00:30:04,955 Speaker 1: And the mcconnons had three boys and a mother, baked 474 00:30:04,995 --> 00:30:07,635 Speaker 1: cookies by the car load lot and Boots never left 475 00:30:07,635 --> 00:30:09,795 Speaker 1: their side, and I was always at their house. And 476 00:30:09,835 --> 00:30:11,555 Speaker 1: if I was allergic, how was it that I never 477 00:30:11,555 --> 00:30:13,555 Speaker 1: once had a problem with Boots? How in the hell 478 00:30:13,595 --> 00:30:15,875 Speaker 1: did that work? Huh? What about Vladimir or the stray 479 00:30:15,875 --> 00:30:17,435 Speaker 1: cat my sister found He used to live in the 480 00:30:17,435 --> 00:30:19,555 Speaker 1: garage and behaved like a dog and like to be 481 00:30:19,595 --> 00:30:22,115 Speaker 1: carried around like a baby. And how allergic was I 482 00:30:22,155 --> 00:30:24,675 Speaker 1: had beautiful, beautiful little Maltese reach up and kissed you 483 00:30:24,675 --> 00:30:26,435 Speaker 1: on the mouth. And the one time I took my 484 00:30:26,515 --> 00:30:28,875 Speaker 1: dad's movie camera to the mcconnon's house, half of the 485 00:30:28,915 --> 00:30:31,195 Speaker 1: film was of Boots. And what if I went back 486 00:30:31,195 --> 00:30:32,955 Speaker 1: and got the allergy shots again? And it was my 487 00:30:32,995 --> 00:30:35,515 Speaker 1: mother who said she was really allergic, so I must 488 00:30:35,515 --> 00:30:37,875 Speaker 1: be too, And what's the use? The little Maltese was perfect. 489 00:30:38,035 --> 00:30:39,835 Speaker 1: The next person who sees her will snap her up 490 00:30:39,835 --> 00:30:41,675 Speaker 1: in an instant. And I asked them just to let 491 00:30:41,675 --> 00:30:43,635 Speaker 1: me try a little dog who woodn't shed. The only 492 00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:46,435 Speaker 1: thing my mother would let me have were lizards, and 493 00:30:46,475 --> 00:30:49,155 Speaker 1: I could take a zertech every day. I'm so sorry, Tiny, 494 00:30:49,195 --> 00:30:52,075 Speaker 1: I didn't realize I never said goodbye to Boots. Maltese 495 00:30:52,115 --> 00:30:54,115 Speaker 1: is gone. She's gone. She's gone, and she's my dog. 496 00:30:54,155 --> 00:30:55,995 Speaker 1: I know what I could feel it. She's my dog 497 00:30:56,035 --> 00:31:05,515 Speaker 1: and she's gone. What happened next? Beggar's fiction. It involves 498 00:31:05,755 --> 00:31:14,955 Speaker 1: Rudy Giuliani back to the Number one story on the 499 00:31:14,995 --> 00:31:16,835 Speaker 1: Countdown and the day I fell in love with a 500 00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:19,755 Speaker 1: dog for the first time, and my girlfriend, the former 501 00:31:19,795 --> 00:31:25,035 Speaker 1: girlfriend TFGF, and I left the puppy in the pet shop. 502 00:31:26,795 --> 00:31:31,435 Speaker 1: TFGF and I were walking me mid meltdown, somehow now 503 00:31:31,475 --> 00:31:34,915 Speaker 1: nearing the Park Avenue Armory, one block west and four 504 00:31:34,955 --> 00:31:37,315 Speaker 1: blocks north of the pet shop that I thought we 505 00:31:37,315 --> 00:31:40,875 Speaker 1: were still in. To her credit, TFGF had kept me 506 00:31:40,915 --> 00:31:44,035 Speaker 1: from throwing myself into traffic or dissolving into a puddle 507 00:31:44,035 --> 00:31:48,795 Speaker 1: on sixty second Street. The overwhelming sensation I had was 508 00:31:48,835 --> 00:31:51,395 Speaker 1: not one of having left the tiny puppy in the shop, 509 00:31:51,435 --> 00:31:55,275 Speaker 1: but of having left a part of myself there that 510 00:31:55,475 --> 00:31:58,755 Speaker 1: was my dog. And what was worse was she was 511 00:31:58,795 --> 00:32:01,395 Speaker 1: obviously going to be taken by somebody else even before 512 00:32:01,435 --> 00:32:03,555 Speaker 1: I got back there, even if we turned around right away. 513 00:32:03,555 --> 00:32:08,315 Speaker 1: Who could resist her? I certainly hadn't. My chaotic stream 514 00:32:08,355 --> 00:32:11,555 Speaker 1: of consciousness monologue paused only when I had no choice 515 00:32:11,635 --> 00:32:14,475 Speaker 1: but to shut up and gasp for breath, and the 516 00:32:14,515 --> 00:32:17,235 Speaker 1: comments with which TFGF tried to soothe me in these 517 00:32:17,835 --> 00:32:21,675 Speaker 1: moments were self abnegating and solemn. She had talked me 518 00:32:21,795 --> 00:32:24,115 Speaker 1: off the limb of my certainty that the dog had 519 00:32:24,115 --> 00:32:27,315 Speaker 1: already been sold, and was now steering me back towards sanity. 520 00:32:28,235 --> 00:32:30,235 Speaker 1: I had to. She would say later, you were having 521 00:32:30,235 --> 00:32:33,315 Speaker 1: a breakdown. She said we should go home, and if 522 00:32:33,315 --> 00:32:36,155 Speaker 1: I wanted to talk seriously about the practicalities of owning 523 00:32:36,155 --> 00:32:38,795 Speaker 1: the dog, we could do that and still get the 524 00:32:38,835 --> 00:32:40,995 Speaker 1: puppy the next morning, even if it meant delaying her 525 00:32:41,035 --> 00:32:45,155 Speaker 1: departure for DC. Don't worry. I'm sure she's still there. 526 00:32:45,435 --> 00:32:47,155 Speaker 1: They were getting ready to close. She'll be there in 527 00:32:47,155 --> 00:32:53,635 Speaker 1: the morning. I exhaled, and then I repanicked. She's she's 528 00:32:54,355 --> 00:32:57,395 Speaker 1: I sniffed anew and the tears resumed. She's in that 529 00:32:57,515 --> 00:33:00,795 Speaker 1: cage with that brother of hers in the basement somewhere. 530 00:33:02,635 --> 00:33:07,435 Speaker 1: Before TFGF could answer and where this is true, Rudy 531 00:33:07,595 --> 00:33:12,995 Speaker 1: Giuliani spilled down the stairs from the armory we were passing. 532 00:33:13,395 --> 00:33:16,355 Speaker 1: A cop suddenly appeared from a different nowhere and put 533 00:33:16,355 --> 00:33:18,755 Speaker 1: out an arm and firmly asked us to stop walking, 534 00:33:18,795 --> 00:33:23,275 Speaker 1: and Juliani scuttled rodent like into a waiting car. A 535 00:33:23,315 --> 00:33:26,035 Speaker 1: wife was with him. I did not and do not 536 00:33:26,115 --> 00:33:29,755 Speaker 1: know which number. The driver was already closing the door 537 00:33:29,795 --> 00:33:32,475 Speaker 1: behind them when I shouted it, how come my dog 538 00:33:32,555 --> 00:33:34,475 Speaker 1: has to spend the night in a cage while that 539 00:33:34,635 --> 00:33:37,515 Speaker 1: ass hat is allowed to roam around this city without 540 00:33:37,515 --> 00:33:42,635 Speaker 1: a leash on him. Later that evening, TFGF said that 541 00:33:42,715 --> 00:33:45,115 Speaker 1: was the first moment she thought we might just get 542 00:33:45,155 --> 00:33:49,715 Speaker 1: home safe and sound. After all, it was not ten 543 00:33:49,795 --> 00:33:51,915 Speaker 1: more minutes back to my apartment, and we walked it 544 00:33:51,955 --> 00:33:55,355 Speaker 1: in silence. Now I had long since saturated my handkerchief 545 00:33:55,395 --> 00:33:58,955 Speaker 1: and some tissues TFGF had in her pockets. I was 546 00:33:58,995 --> 00:34:03,355 Speaker 1: breathing deeply and restoratively. Now the sniffle frequency reduced to 547 00:34:03,395 --> 00:34:06,755 Speaker 1: once or twice per block uck, and my mind was 548 00:34:06,835 --> 00:34:11,715 Speaker 1: crowded with the dogs I had known, Boots, Tiny, Vladimir 549 00:34:11,795 --> 00:34:15,475 Speaker 1: the Cat, even tfgf's little Casey dying out in Jersey 550 00:34:15,515 --> 00:34:18,235 Speaker 1: and unaware of the seismic events which she had set 551 00:34:18,315 --> 00:34:21,835 Speaker 1: in motion. I was thinking of other dogs. To all 552 00:34:21,915 --> 00:34:24,275 Speaker 1: of the dogs in all of the stories of James 553 00:34:24,275 --> 00:34:26,875 Speaker 1: Thurber that I read on TV every Friday night, I 554 00:34:26,915 --> 00:34:29,715 Speaker 1: had smiled along with his poetic descriptions of them, but 555 00:34:30,035 --> 00:34:35,915 Speaker 1: never confessed I loved them as he must have. There 556 00:34:35,995 --> 00:34:38,275 Speaker 1: was Samantha, whom my late friend Bruce Hagen used to 557 00:34:38,275 --> 00:34:41,395 Speaker 1: bring everywhere, including our college radio station newsroom. The first 558 00:34:41,435 --> 00:34:44,795 Speaker 1: really big dog who did not frighten me, my great 559 00:34:44,835 --> 00:34:49,355 Speaker 1: aunt's Yorky, whose gas was so potent that the Christmas 560 00:34:49,395 --> 00:34:51,635 Speaker 1: just before I turned nine, my great uncle said he 561 00:34:51,675 --> 00:34:54,395 Speaker 1: was convinced she had been a German terror weapon at 562 00:34:54,475 --> 00:34:56,915 Speaker 1: Chateau Terry in the First World War, and he and 563 00:34:56,955 --> 00:34:59,475 Speaker 1: I had bonded because I knew what Chateau Terry was. 564 00:35:00,755 --> 00:35:03,475 Speaker 1: There was Nellie McNally, the only dog that any of 565 00:35:03,475 --> 00:35:06,195 Speaker 1: my son times out of town girlfriends ever had actually 566 00:35:06,195 --> 00:35:09,115 Speaker 1: put on the phone with me. In my mind, they 567 00:35:09,195 --> 00:35:12,675 Speaker 1: all stood before me, all lined up, all quiet, smiling, 568 00:35:13,835 --> 00:35:16,795 Speaker 1: all with the kindest type of I told you so, 569 00:35:17,235 --> 00:35:22,675 Speaker 1: dummy on their wonderful faces, and dozens more behind them, 570 00:35:23,075 --> 00:35:27,075 Speaker 1: vague shapes and sizes, who belonged to neighbors or coworkers, 571 00:35:27,115 --> 00:35:29,555 Speaker 1: pastor who were just chance encounters on the streets of 572 00:35:29,595 --> 00:35:34,515 Speaker 1: any of a dozen cities decades before. No, I'm sorry, 573 00:35:34,635 --> 00:35:37,595 Speaker 1: she said, I shouldn't have been that selfish. But now 574 00:35:37,635 --> 00:35:39,835 Speaker 1: I disagreed with her, and as I unlocked the apartment door, 575 00:35:39,875 --> 00:35:41,955 Speaker 1: I began to tell her of the dogs I had 576 00:35:41,995 --> 00:35:44,475 Speaker 1: just been communing with in my mind, and what had 577 00:35:44,475 --> 00:35:48,555 Speaker 1: suddenly become necessary, urgent, inevitable, and perfect, but about which 578 00:35:48,595 --> 00:35:51,195 Speaker 1: I needed as much detail as I could in as 579 00:35:51,235 --> 00:35:56,195 Speaker 1: short a period as possible. TFGF tried, well, you just 580 00:35:56,315 --> 00:35:59,475 Speaker 1: take the dog wherever you can. My parents have been 581 00:35:59,475 --> 00:36:01,595 Speaker 1: saying this a lot lately. Now they regret not doing 582 00:36:01,635 --> 00:36:06,635 Speaker 1: more things with Casey, not adventures, not kayaking, just taking 583 00:36:06,675 --> 00:36:08,635 Speaker 1: her with them, or going out in the yard, or 584 00:36:08,715 --> 00:36:11,915 Speaker 1: just holding her while they watched TV. You just let 585 00:36:11,915 --> 00:36:18,435 Speaker 1: the dog in. We went through topic after topic, cleaning, training, handling, 586 00:36:18,555 --> 00:36:23,955 Speaker 1: poop walks, food, puppy sitters, moving books off ground level shelves, discipline, 587 00:36:23,955 --> 00:36:26,755 Speaker 1: and most importantly of all, a backup plan in case 588 00:36:27,075 --> 00:36:31,555 Speaker 1: this epiphany was false and or I was still allergic 589 00:36:31,715 --> 00:36:36,955 Speaker 1: or terrified or incoonfident or all three. I don't think 590 00:36:36,955 --> 00:36:39,355 Speaker 1: it'll take much to convince my parents to take her. 591 00:36:39,395 --> 00:36:44,155 Speaker 1: I mean, even after Casey recovers and I can take 592 00:36:44,155 --> 00:36:46,595 Speaker 1: her with me to DC tomorrow, I'll bring her back 593 00:36:46,635 --> 00:36:48,555 Speaker 1: next weekend. So you can get the apartment ready, and 594 00:36:48,755 --> 00:36:50,955 Speaker 1: you can get you ready, and you don't have to 595 00:36:50,995 --> 00:36:54,795 Speaker 1: go in at the deep end right away, I interrupted 596 00:36:54,795 --> 00:36:58,435 Speaker 1: her with a kiss, Let's go back there before they close. 597 00:36:58,835 --> 00:37:02,315 Speaker 1: I don't want to wait till morning. I'm still terrified 598 00:37:02,635 --> 00:37:07,595 Speaker 1: somebody else will realize how extraordinary she is. Unexpectedly, I 599 00:37:07,595 --> 00:37:09,875 Speaker 1: had a moment of doubt at this point. This isn't 600 00:37:09,955 --> 00:37:13,355 Speaker 1: just me having a breakdown, right, I mean, she is extraordinary. 601 00:37:13,555 --> 00:37:16,155 Speaker 1: I'm having a breakdown, and she is extraordinary, isn't she. 602 00:37:17,155 --> 00:37:19,515 Speaker 1: TFGF stopped being nice, and now for the first time, 603 00:37:19,555 --> 00:37:21,435 Speaker 1: looked at me like I'd just gone crazy, even though 604 00:37:21,435 --> 00:37:24,155 Speaker 1: I just had gone crazy. Obviously, She said that was 605 00:37:24,195 --> 00:37:28,835 Speaker 1: a real kiss. The pet shop had stayed open, partly 606 00:37:28,875 --> 00:37:32,755 Speaker 1: because TFGF phoned them as we hit the street outside 607 00:37:32,755 --> 00:37:36,635 Speaker 1: of the apartment building, and partly because they knew you 608 00:37:36,715 --> 00:37:40,635 Speaker 1: were coming back. Jeffrey said, you just see it sometimes. Also, 609 00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:46,475 Speaker 1: you seemed kind of emotional. TFGFF helpfully mentioned that I'd 610 00:37:46,475 --> 00:37:50,275 Speaker 1: had a breakdown. They had all the paraphernalia ready, a 611 00:37:50,275 --> 00:37:54,035 Speaker 1: little aquabed, a series of attached gates that could be 612 00:37:54,115 --> 00:37:56,955 Speaker 1: used as a pen or a barrier, a small pink blanket, 613 00:37:57,035 --> 00:37:59,595 Speaker 1: a bag of training pads, and the plastic pad holder, 614 00:37:59,835 --> 00:38:03,355 Speaker 1: enough dry food to last twelve to fourteen months, some 615 00:38:03,435 --> 00:38:06,555 Speaker 1: horrific wet food that looked like a discarded early design 616 00:38:06,595 --> 00:38:09,675 Speaker 1: for liverwurst, a few chew toys, a bright pink harness 617 00:38:09,675 --> 00:38:11,955 Speaker 1: and a leash as light as a ribbon, a black 618 00:38:12,035 --> 00:38:15,715 Speaker 1: carrying bag, and paperwork with the Pempy Puppies family tree, which, 619 00:38:15,715 --> 00:38:18,555 Speaker 1: to my astonishment, stretched back beyond her birth one week 620 00:38:18,635 --> 00:38:22,475 Speaker 1: shive three months before, through the six preceding generations, all 621 00:38:22,515 --> 00:38:28,275 Speaker 1: the way back to six entire years earlier. In addition 622 00:38:28,315 --> 00:38:30,315 Speaker 1: to all this, they could have included a moped, a 623 00:38:30,355 --> 00:38:33,475 Speaker 1: stock portfolio to guarantee your college education, and I'm all 624 00:38:33,555 --> 00:38:36,955 Speaker 1: tease sized typewriter with a twenty year supply of replacement ribbons, 625 00:38:36,995 --> 00:38:40,675 Speaker 1: and I would have also bought them. Very nice lady 626 00:38:40,755 --> 00:38:43,395 Speaker 1: named Ellie tried to train me to be a dog 627 00:38:43,435 --> 00:38:46,195 Speaker 1: owner in about ninety four seconds and handed me a 628 00:38:46,235 --> 00:38:49,115 Speaker 1: voucher for a vet at a checklist of stuff to do, 629 00:38:49,555 --> 00:38:51,875 Speaker 1: I signed a credit card bill. I think I used 630 00:38:51,875 --> 00:38:54,915 Speaker 1: my own name. I absolved myself of the guilt of 631 00:38:54,955 --> 00:38:57,835 Speaker 1: not getting a shelter dog because I was allergic and 632 00:38:57,915 --> 00:39:00,635 Speaker 1: kind of had to go the shop route. Plus I 633 00:39:00,755 --> 00:39:02,755 Speaker 1: was not looking for a dog. I had actually fallen 634 00:39:02,755 --> 00:39:05,795 Speaker 1: in love at first sight with this dog. And lastly, 635 00:39:05,875 --> 00:39:08,395 Speaker 1: because no matter how the obvious and often tragic flaws 636 00:39:08,395 --> 00:39:10,675 Speaker 1: in this system, there was no arguing with the fact 637 00:39:10,715 --> 00:39:14,395 Speaker 1: that those dogs who came from a pet shop had 638 00:39:14,395 --> 00:39:16,235 Speaker 1: as much of a right to a happy life as 639 00:39:16,235 --> 00:39:20,195 Speaker 1: any other dog. At that moment, they produced her from 640 00:39:20,195 --> 00:39:22,315 Speaker 1: the back room behind the block of cages where we 641 00:39:22,355 --> 00:39:25,515 Speaker 1: had first seen her. Her curls had been fluffed up 642 00:39:25,835 --> 00:39:29,275 Speaker 1: and her hair freshly brushed. It would be lovely to 643 00:39:29,315 --> 00:39:32,035 Speaker 1: say she made eye contact them across the shop floor, 644 00:39:32,355 --> 00:39:34,835 Speaker 1: or was aware of our presence, or yipped happily at 645 00:39:34,875 --> 00:39:37,315 Speaker 1: the sight of me, and it would be completely untrue. 646 00:39:38,155 --> 00:39:42,275 Speaker 1: The little Maltese calmly scanned the room, only occasionally glancing 647 00:39:42,355 --> 00:39:44,435 Speaker 1: up at the manager who carried her, and not once 648 00:39:44,515 --> 00:39:48,635 Speaker 1: at us, until she was, without ceremony or comment, handed 649 00:39:48,675 --> 00:39:53,995 Speaker 1: to me, whereupon she immediately twisted out of my trembling hands, 650 00:39:54,675 --> 00:39:57,635 Speaker 1: stuck her front paws on my chest, and reached up 651 00:39:57,675 --> 00:40:01,075 Speaker 1: to give me a kiss on the lips, and then another, 652 00:40:01,755 --> 00:40:04,875 Speaker 1: and a third, and my sunglasses hid the tears it 653 00:40:04,955 --> 00:40:07,875 Speaker 1: welled up again. I managed to ask if they all 654 00:40:07,915 --> 00:40:12,275 Speaker 1: did that. No, came the answer from that salesman, Jeffrey. Honestly, 655 00:40:12,875 --> 00:40:15,795 Speaker 1: like I told you, sweetest puff we've had here in months, 656 00:40:15,915 --> 00:40:18,875 Speaker 1: loves people, loves people. I'm sad to see her go. 657 00:40:21,555 --> 00:40:24,035 Speaker 1: I marveled, and how white she was, and yet how 658 00:40:24,155 --> 00:40:27,755 Speaker 1: articulated on strong her body was. Her eyes were far 659 00:40:27,795 --> 00:40:30,955 Speaker 1: more beautiful than I had realized, oversized even for a puppy, 660 00:40:30,995 --> 00:40:34,835 Speaker 1: almost no white visible, the reflection off the deep brown irises, 661 00:40:34,835 --> 00:40:39,355 Speaker 1: almost iridescent. And more astonishingly, this little soul, who was 662 00:40:39,395 --> 00:40:43,235 Speaker 1: about two hundred and twelfth my age and about one 663 00:40:43,435 --> 00:40:46,595 Speaker 1: eighty seventh my weight, and who had a great great 664 00:40:46,795 --> 00:40:50,795 Speaker 1: great great grandmother born in two thousand and six, when 665 00:40:50,835 --> 00:40:54,115 Speaker 1: my great great great great grandmother was born in like 666 00:40:54,675 --> 00:40:58,715 Speaker 1: eighteen hundred, she was meeting and holding my gaze with 667 00:40:58,795 --> 00:41:02,515 Speaker 1: her own. Whatever I was seeing in her eyes, whatever 668 00:41:02,635 --> 00:41:05,475 Speaker 1: the inner being I was actually processing, she seemed to 669 00:41:05,475 --> 00:41:09,915 Speaker 1: be doing her equivalent vetting. I gave her a little kiss, 670 00:41:09,915 --> 00:41:12,515 Speaker 1: and was by now not surprised when she kissed me again. 671 00:41:13,355 --> 00:41:15,315 Speaker 1: The little tongue poked out a fraction of an inch, 672 00:41:15,475 --> 00:41:17,915 Speaker 1: just enough so any one of us dumb, unsettled bipeds 673 00:41:17,915 --> 00:41:20,755 Speaker 1: could tell she meant it. And then she relaxed from 674 00:41:20,755 --> 00:41:24,035 Speaker 1: her upright pose and settled back into my arms, her 675 00:41:24,035 --> 00:41:26,475 Speaker 1: head in the crook of my right elbow, in an 676 00:41:26,515 --> 00:41:29,715 Speaker 1: attitude I would soon discover she would repeat every time 677 00:41:30,115 --> 00:41:36,715 Speaker 1: I ever picked her up. A couple hours later, the 678 00:41:36,835 --> 00:41:42,235 Speaker 1: name came to me her haircut. It was Stevie Nix's haircut. 679 00:41:43,675 --> 00:41:59,235 Speaker 1: I named her Stevie. I've done all the damage I 680 00:41:59,235 --> 00:42:02,595 Speaker 1: can do here. Wait a minute, hold on, let's just 681 00:42:03,275 --> 00:42:07,515 Speaker 1: stop the music just for a second. Stevie, you want 682 00:42:07,555 --> 00:42:11,115 Speaker 1: to treat? You been a good girl lately. I mean 683 00:42:11,195 --> 00:42:12,915 Speaker 1: we didn't mention your birthday on the air. I'm very 684 00:42:12,955 --> 00:42:17,715 Speaker 1: sorry about that. Do you want to treat? We'll say something. Stevie, 685 00:42:18,395 --> 00:42:23,115 Speaker 1: you want to treat? Come on, say that again? Okay? 686 00:42:23,635 --> 00:42:26,955 Speaker 1: Do you want to tell them about physical therapy? Stevie 687 00:42:26,955 --> 00:42:30,275 Speaker 1: couldn't walk three months ago. She had had a problem 688 00:42:30,315 --> 00:42:32,875 Speaker 1: with both of her back knees. She tore an acl 689 00:42:32,915 --> 00:42:35,795 Speaker 1: and she had an immune disease and these things combined 690 00:42:35,875 --> 00:42:37,955 Speaker 1: and made it impossible for her to walk. And she 691 00:42:37,995 --> 00:42:40,355 Speaker 1: has been going to physical therapy at the Animal Medical 692 00:42:40,395 --> 00:42:43,755 Speaker 1: Center ever since. She's learned how to swim. She gets 693 00:42:43,795 --> 00:42:48,715 Speaker 1: massages and she gets laser treatments every week and she 694 00:42:48,795 --> 00:42:50,955 Speaker 1: has a great time. And this is the hospital that 695 00:42:50,995 --> 00:42:52,875 Speaker 1: she has always treated as if it were a spa. 696 00:42:53,355 --> 00:42:55,595 Speaker 1: She has a very high threshold for pain, so through 697 00:42:55,915 --> 00:42:59,995 Speaker 1: cancer treatments and surgery and half a dozen other things 698 00:42:59,995 --> 00:43:02,595 Speaker 1: that have gone wrong. She's always kept a smile on 699 00:43:02,635 --> 00:43:05,675 Speaker 1: her face because they've treated her so well there, and 700 00:43:05,715 --> 00:43:08,475 Speaker 1: she's had such a good time. She's always acted like 701 00:43:08,515 --> 00:43:10,555 Speaker 1: it was a spa. Well here it is after ten 702 00:43:10,635 --> 00:43:15,435 Speaker 1: years of going there. They give her spa treatments. They 703 00:43:15,435 --> 00:43:17,355 Speaker 1: put her in the water, They blow dry her hair. 704 00:43:17,395 --> 00:43:19,315 Speaker 1: They often trim her nails to make sure that they 705 00:43:19,355 --> 00:43:22,075 Speaker 1: get the whole imprint of her feet right, to make 706 00:43:22,115 --> 00:43:24,515 Speaker 1: sure her gait is okay, and she's regained the ability 707 00:43:24,555 --> 00:43:26,915 Speaker 1: to walk. She goes for a swim, she goes in 708 00:43:26,995 --> 00:43:30,755 Speaker 1: an underwater treadmill to work out. As I said, they 709 00:43:30,835 --> 00:43:33,675 Speaker 1: use lasers on her knees, and then they end the 710 00:43:33,715 --> 00:43:36,515 Speaker 1: whole thing with doing her hair and giving her a massage. 711 00:43:37,155 --> 00:43:41,675 Speaker 1: It's a spa. She was right, my girl, Stevie eleven 712 00:43:41,755 --> 00:43:44,515 Speaker 1: years old and the anniversary coming up too. All right, 713 00:43:44,635 --> 00:43:46,235 Speaker 1: you were good enough to sit through this. You want 714 00:43:46,275 --> 00:43:48,515 Speaker 1: that treat? Now say it again, one more time. You 715 00:43:48,515 --> 00:43:51,475 Speaker 1: want this treat? Say it. You don't have to sit, 716 00:43:51,595 --> 00:43:54,035 Speaker 1: you don't have to be quiet. She's sitting the one 717 00:43:54,075 --> 00:43:57,355 Speaker 1: time she's sitting at being quiet, Say something, do you 718 00:43:57,395 --> 00:44:03,595 Speaker 1: want this treat? Yes or no? Yes? Yes, yes, well 719 00:44:03,635 --> 00:44:06,635 Speaker 1: you're twirling, but say yeah yes? Do you want this tree? 720 00:44:06,675 --> 00:44:10,075 Speaker 1: Here we go? All right, thank you very much. All right, 721 00:44:10,115 --> 00:44:14,955 Speaker 1: you've indulged me long enough. Okay, I've done all the 722 00:44:14,995 --> 00:44:17,155 Speaker 1: damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. Here 723 00:44:17,155 --> 00:44:19,635 Speaker 1: are the credits. Most of this was written by Stevie. 724 00:44:20,275 --> 00:44:23,035 Speaker 1: The music was arranged, produced and performed by Brian Ray 725 00:44:23,035 --> 00:44:26,515 Speaker 1: and John Phillips Shaneale. They are the Countdown musical directors. Guitars, 726 00:44:26,515 --> 00:44:30,155 Speaker 1: bass and drums by Brian Ray All, orchestration and keyboards 727 00:44:30,155 --> 00:44:33,755 Speaker 1: by John Phillip Shaneal, produced by TKO Brothers. Other Beethoven 728 00:44:33,795 --> 00:44:36,435 Speaker 1: selections have been arranged and performed by No Horns Allowed. 729 00:44:36,795 --> 00:44:39,475 Speaker 1: The sports music is the Olderman theme from ESPN two 730 00:44:39,475 --> 00:44:41,555 Speaker 1: and it was written by Mitch Warren Davis Curtisy of 731 00:44:41,795 --> 00:44:45,355 Speaker 1: ESPN Inc. Musical comments by Nancy Fauss. The best baseball 732 00:44:45,395 --> 00:44:48,475 Speaker 1: stadium organist ever. Our announcer today was my friend John Dean. 733 00:44:48,755 --> 00:44:53,635 Speaker 1: Everything else was pretty much my fault. Don't forget Countdown 734 00:44:53,675 --> 00:44:56,075 Speaker 1: now also available for you on YouTube if you want 735 00:44:56,075 --> 00:44:57,915 Speaker 1: to see the animated version of me what we should 736 00:44:57,955 --> 00:45:00,195 Speaker 1: have put on? There was an animated version of Stevie. 737 00:45:00,675 --> 00:45:02,795 Speaker 1: So that's countdown for this the nine hundred and twenty 738 00:45:02,795 --> 00:45:05,075 Speaker 1: fifth day since Donald Trump's first to ten to coup 739 00:45:05,115 --> 00:45:08,195 Speaker 1: against the democratically elected government of the United States. Arrest 740 00:45:08,275 --> 00:45:12,235 Speaker 1: him again while we still have time, like would Friday 741 00:45:12,275 --> 00:45:15,875 Speaker 1: be convenient? The next scheduled countdown is tomorrow. Boltons has 742 00:45:15,875 --> 00:45:18,755 Speaker 1: the news Lawrence Till then for Stevie, I'm Keith Olderman. 743 00:45:19,355 --> 00:45:30,155 Speaker 1: Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck. Countdown 744 00:45:30,235 --> 00:45:33,955 Speaker 1: with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more 745 00:45:34,075 --> 00:45:38,995 Speaker 1: podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or 746 00:45:39,035 --> 00:45:40,875 Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts.