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Speaker 1: Welcome to Can'tflee Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The

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Speaker 1: Black Effect. And just like that, we're back with yet

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Speaker 1: another Canfully Reckless episode with your girl Jess. Hilarious. We

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Speaker 1: don't jump straight in two. It's so this is more

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Speaker 1: written passages from people. Again. I encourage you guys to

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Speaker 1: send voice notes in unless you have a distinctive voice

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Speaker 1: and people can guess who you are because a lot

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Speaker 1: of people do listen. So I'm just letting you know.

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Speaker 1: But you know, y'all know, I'm basically still saying I'd

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Speaker 1: rather listen to y'all than to read y'all shit because

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Speaker 1: y'all punctuation still be off. God damn. All right, but

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Speaker 1: it's all right.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Okay. So I have been married with my husband

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Speaker 2: for about fifteen years now. We were high school sweethearts

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Speaker 2: and even after that, we were the golden couple.

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Speaker 3: Ever since we got married.

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Speaker 2: We would take trips at least six times year, always

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Speaker 2: date each other, and just live the life a married

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Speaker 2: couple should really have. This man has loved me unconditionally

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Speaker 2: through everything. About ten years ago, in thirty now, I

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Speaker 2: figured out that I would not be able to have kids,

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Speaker 2: and it crushed me, but all he did was build

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Speaker 2: me up and reassure me that it's okay and never

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Speaker 2: left my side. Up until recently, everything was perfect. I

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Speaker 2: noticed a change in his attitude. It wasn't nonchalant, but

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Speaker 2: it just feels like that he's just putting up with me.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, maybe he is getting bored. It took

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Speaker 2: me by surprise because we literally switched things up and

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Speaker 2: tried to keep the relationship spontaneous. So I'm just confused

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Speaker 2: on the whole switch in character. I also tell you

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Speaker 2: the story about me not being able to have kids

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Speaker 2: because we did recently have a conversation about it and

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Speaker 2: I did pour my heart out to him about not

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Speaker 2: having kids are being able to give him one, and

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Speaker 2: he did reassure me. But maybe this is the reason

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Speaker 2: why he's been acting a different way. Maybe I did

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Speaker 2: put the thought in his head that he will never

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Speaker 2: have kids as long as he's married to me. I

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Speaker 2: could be overthinking, but that's literally my only theory when

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Speaker 2: it comes to it. I don't believe he's a cheater

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Speaker 2: or would do anything to hurt me, and we have

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Speaker 2: great communication, so that's why I'm leaning towards this. Maybe

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Speaker 2: he doesn't want to bring him back up, so I

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Speaker 2: won't feel the way. Or maybe it could just be

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Speaker 2: something else, girl, I don't.

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Speaker 3: Know what do you think?

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Speaker 1: Damn? All right? Well, first of all, you've been married

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Speaker 1: to this guy for a decade now, Like you say,

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Speaker 1: it started off really really really really great. You know,

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Speaker 1: Lover's lane so amazing. Y'all were in love. There was

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Speaker 1: nothing going on, he kept reassuring you. Now, you told

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Speaker 1: him in the beginning that you were unable to have children,

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Speaker 1: and he still fell in love with you, you know,

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Speaker 1: in spite of all that you know, and you fell

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Speaker 1: in love with him. Has he ever told you that

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Speaker 1: he really wants kids? I mean, obviously you can't, but

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Speaker 1: it still matters if he wants to. Has that ever

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Speaker 1: been a conversation? Has he ever said, well, this is

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Speaker 1: something that I want. I really really do want children,

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Speaker 1: you know, because there are other ways that you guys

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Speaker 1: can have kids, you know, other than vaginally. You know,

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Speaker 1: there's adoption, there's so many other ways. You get what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like, is this a situation where you can't

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Speaker 1: do in vitro? Do you not believe in that? Like

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Speaker 1: not to get I guess too personal? Because if you

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Speaker 1: would have wanted me to know, you would have told me.

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Speaker 1: So let's just scrap that. But have you guys ever

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Speaker 1: considered adoption, you know? Or is that something that you

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Speaker 1: just never entertained? Because if the child doesn't come biologically

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Speaker 1: from you or him, then I could understand if that

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Speaker 1: was an issue, you know what I mean? Like I

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Speaker 1: do understand, But then there is things like surrocacy, like

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Speaker 1: have you ever considered a surrogate somebody to carry a

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Speaker 1: baby for you? I know, these things get pricey. However,

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Speaker 1: they are alternate routes that you can take if you

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Speaker 1: really do want children. Now, as far as his behavior,

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Speaker 1: him just switching, totally switching. Usually with situations like this

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Speaker 1: you see red flags. You see not a sudden change

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Speaker 1: of pattern, but you'll see a build up, you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Because the fact that he just switched,

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Speaker 1: that could be something else. I mean, it could have

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Speaker 1: something to do with you not being able to have children,

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Speaker 1: but it also could be something else because that's a

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Speaker 1: deeper situation, you not being able to have children. I

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Speaker 1: know he has to think about that every day, especially

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Speaker 1: if he wants to be a dad, If he desires

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Speaker 1: to be a father, then yes, that's something that he

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Speaker 1: would have to think about every day, and that's just

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Speaker 1: not a switch that you flip. You get what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: So please understand, I'm not accusing him of cheating. I'm

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Speaker 1: not accusing him of just falling out of love with you.

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Speaker 1: I'm not accusing him of any of those things. Only

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. However, we can't just throw

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Speaker 1: away with the fact that it may be something like

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Speaker 1: that because of the sudden mood change, because of the

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Speaker 1: sudden pattern change and all of that. Do you guys

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Speaker 1: not spend as much time together? Does he turned off?

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Speaker 1: Does he seem uninterested in you at times? Have you

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Speaker 1: ever set him down and talked to him about it?

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Speaker 1: Or are you just trying to make sure you're not

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Speaker 1: crazy and tell another person in your situation before you

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Speaker 1: do actually approach it or approach him. Let me know,

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Speaker 1: and you let me know a lot, but it's still

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Speaker 1: a lot more I would like to know. Also, you've

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Speaker 1: got to understand when you don't communicate. You know, when

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Speaker 1: we as women don't communicate, we kind of let things linger.

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Speaker 1: Could you have been ignoring signs before he just flipped

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Speaker 1: the switch? Could you not have been paying attention this

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Speaker 1: whole time? So whereas like you notice the end of

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Speaker 1: his build up and now it's just a flip switch

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Speaker 1: to you, like it seemed like it happened in the

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Speaker 1: blink of an eye, Like could you take some type

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Speaker 1: of accountability to say now only if it's yours to take.

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Speaker 1: Don't take accountability for some shit that is not true.

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Speaker 1: But I'm just saying, could you have overlooked how he

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Speaker 1: felt because he kept reassuring you? You know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: because listen, I just got finished talking about this on

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Speaker 1: the last yest with the mess actually not on the

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Speaker 1: last just fix my mesk, the one that I do

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Speaker 1: on breakfast Club. A lot of people cannot tell the

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Speaker 1: truth because they don't want to hurt somebody's feelings. You know,

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Speaker 1: they're sparing someone's feelings, so you oftentimes tiptoe around what

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Speaker 1: you have to say or how you're really feeling because

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Speaker 1: you don't want to hurt somebody's feelings. That's what he

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Speaker 1: could have been doing to you, and that's what you

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Speaker 1: could have been doing to him, you know, because what

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Speaker 1: if he was never okay with you not having children?

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Speaker 1: Oh what if he was okay in the earlier years

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Speaker 1: of y'all's marriage, but then he developed such a desire

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Speaker 1: to become a father and want more family, you know

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Speaker 1: than just you want a family, you know, like, what

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Speaker 1: if that was the thing for him? What if that's

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Speaker 1: what he really wanted? You know, So you have to

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Speaker 1: sit down and talk to him. That's your husband, that's

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Speaker 1: not your boyfriend. It's not just a little jump off.

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Speaker 1: This ain't one of the niggas on your roster. You

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Speaker 1: understand what I'm saying. You don't got to hide how

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Speaker 1: you feel at all. I've been together ten years, you know.

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure y'all have experienced rough patches in marriages.

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Speaker 1: I mean, no marriage is perfect at all, you know,

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Speaker 1: So I'm pretty sure this wouldn't be the first uncomfortable

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Speaker 1: conversation that you guys have had to have, especially the

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Speaker 1: elephant in the room. You're unable to have children. I

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Speaker 1: imagine how hard it was for you to tell him that,

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Speaker 1: and how hard it is if he wants to be

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Speaker 1: a dad to reassure you that it's okay. You get

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So I think you should sit down

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Speaker 1: with your husband and talk to him and fully get

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Speaker 1: through with him. And I always encourage people don't get

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Speaker 1: up from their damn table until you have answers that

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Speaker 1: you need. If that other person got to get up,

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Speaker 1: so be it. But that's what we do. We try

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Speaker 1: so hard to tiptoe and to coddle other adults, whether

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Speaker 1: we're in love with them or not, you know, just

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Speaker 1: to save and spare their feelings. No, this is the

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Speaker 1: uncomfortable part of this marriage. It has to go here

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Speaker 1: so I can get what you're feeling. If I got

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Speaker 1: to make you feel uncomfortable to tell me the truth,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna do that. So let me you know what

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Speaker 1: is it? Is there? Is it another woman? Is it

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Speaker 1: the fact that I really can't have kids but you

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Speaker 1: don't want to leave me for it because you're in

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Speaker 1: love with me but you still want children? Is it?

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Speaker 1: You know? Is it that I'm boring you? Is it

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Speaker 1: that our sex life has now lost spice? Like? Is it?

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Speaker 1: Because it could be something else? I'm not just gonna

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Speaker 1: jump straight to cheating, you know? Is my communication off?

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like I don't pay you enough attention? Like?

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Speaker 1: What is it? I've noticed a pattern, like a change

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Speaker 1: in your pattern? You don't hold me the same. You

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Speaker 1: don't look at me the same. We don't talk anymore,

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Speaker 1: we don't go on trips anymore. And this it seems

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Speaker 1: sudden to me. But if this is something that you've

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Speaker 1: been feeling, why haven't you come to me? And right now,

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Speaker 1: more importantly, is the right time to come to me?

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Speaker 1: Because I notice it and it's making me feel like

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Speaker 1: it's my fault. Let me know what's going on. You

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Speaker 1: know I'm in the dark about this, and then you

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Speaker 1: should get an answer, honey, But let me know. Check

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Speaker 1: back in answer my question and see y'all be trying

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Speaker 1: to help y'all, But y'all be trying to leave little

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Speaker 1: juicy off the fruit. I don't know why I just

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Speaker 1: said that, y'all be trying to leave meat off the bone.

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Speaker 1: I'm just say that. I say, y'all be trying to

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Speaker 1: leave juicy off the fruit. What giry say anything when

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Speaker 1: you're pregnant. I'mna blame everything on this baby. I don't care.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna blame everything on the baby. I'm tired of

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Speaker 1: the hell nose bleeding. I'm like, what the fuck is

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Speaker 1: going on here? Jesus So to all the other pregnant

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Speaker 1: mothers out there. Please let me know if y'all experience

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Speaker 1: dry nose and bloody nose, Like, what the hell? I

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Speaker 1: wake up in the middle of the night, blow my nose.

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Speaker 1: It's all blood like. I wake up in the morning

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Speaker 1: to clear out my you know, just to clear my

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Speaker 1: system out, and it's it's it ain't even muchis and

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Speaker 1: s not, it's blood Like, what the hell is going on?

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Speaker 1: I've never had this issue. I mean, I have here

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Speaker 1: and there, but it's so frequent now it's not every day,

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Speaker 1: but it's very much more frequent than it's ever been.

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Speaker 1: And it's very weird. If you love me, you'll listen

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Speaker 1: to this commercial and then we'll be right back, all right, John, Okay,

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Speaker 1: so move it on.

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Speaker 2: Jess, I was an addict for fifteen years and I

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Speaker 2: am now five years clean. During the process of getting clean,

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Speaker 2: I met my best friend at an AA meeting and

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Speaker 2: she wasn't an addict, but she was the caterer there.

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Speaker 2: They would hire her to cater the meetings once a week.

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Speaker 2: Fast forward, I became the godmother of her first child,

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Speaker 2: and she also became mine. Btw. I am engaged right

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Speaker 2: now to my child's father. So about three months ago,

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Speaker 2: my best friend lost her mother and she hasn't been

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Speaker 2: taking it too well.

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Speaker 3: I definitely wouldn't expect her to.

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Speaker 2: I mean, she just lost her mom, but I'm noticing

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Speaker 2: a lot of change in her, and I honestly know

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Speaker 2: she's doing drugs and not telling me. I'm not sure

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Speaker 2: what kind. I'm definitely leaning towards pills. It started with

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Speaker 2: her dropping my godson off to me and not coming

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Speaker 2: back until the middle of the night, and she looked

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Speaker 2: so out of it. She said she had a lot

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Speaker 2: of errands to run and that's why she looked so tired.

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Speaker 2: And I went for it, but I still had that

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Speaker 2: thought in the back of my head. Now recently, I

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Speaker 2: went over her house to spend the day with her,

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Speaker 2: and we sat down and was just having a conversation.

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Speaker 2: She dozed off in the middle and snapped back and

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Speaker 2: forgot everything we talked about.

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Speaker 3: I mean, her eyes was rolling in the back of

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Speaker 3: her head. She was so out of it.

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Speaker 2: Luckily, her son wasn't there that day because I would

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Speaker 2: have took him with me, but I did leave because

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Speaker 2: I felt triggered. I called her the next day to

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Speaker 2: tell her about herself, and she had no idea what

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Speaker 2: I was talking about. I immediately knew she was getting high.

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Speaker 2: I used to be an addict, so I definitely would know.

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Speaker 2: We got into an immediate argument because she kept denying it,

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Speaker 2: and I told her I can't be around someone who uses.

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Speaker 2: She tells me she don't give a fuck, and I

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Speaker 2: don't have to be around her, and she's not using.

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Speaker 2: I know how hostile you can be when you're under

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Speaker 2: the influence, so I'm not going to hold that against her,

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Speaker 2: but I know I just can't be around that. And

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Speaker 2: also I know that she's still grieving. I tried reaching

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Speaker 2: out to her for a week straight and she did

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Speaker 2: nothing but ignore me, and I'm very worried. I even

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Speaker 2: just texted her to see my godson and no reply,

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Speaker 2: which makes me even more worried. I love my best

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Speaker 2: friend to death, but I don't want her to go

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Speaker 2: down this hole. And I refuse to go down that

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Speaker 2: hole with her because being around her could possibly make

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Speaker 2: me relapse. But she's my best friend, so I'm kind

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Speaker 2: of in a hard situation. How can I be there

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Speaker 2: for her and not relapse at the same time, because

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Speaker 2: it's very triggering to be around her in that state

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Speaker 2: and Jess. I know you may not have a straightforward

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Speaker 2: answer because this is a lot, and I'm sorry for

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Speaker 2: even putting all this out there because the story is crazy,

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Speaker 2: but I would love some advice.

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Speaker 1: Well, sweetie, let me tell you, I got to break

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Speaker 1: this down. This says a lot. I have never been

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Speaker 1: an addicts before, however, I mean, if we're talking about

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Speaker 1: weed and shrooms and you know, things like that, then yes,

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Speaker 1: But I did have many of them in my family.

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Speaker 1: I know many of them, and I do understand. I

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Speaker 1: understand what your what your friend is going through, and

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Speaker 1: understand what you're going through. You know. I watched aunts

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Speaker 1: and uncles and cousins go through that, and some be

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Speaker 1: pulled back into it after getting off the horse, and

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Speaker 1: then some you know, not wanting to be around the others,

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Speaker 1: you know, who've been pulled back in after both of

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Speaker 1: them got clean, and shit, I do understand, and I

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Speaker 1: just want to say congratulations on your engagement. You know.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Love love love that you had a

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Speaker 1: complete three sixty. And also I love the fact that

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Speaker 1: you were able to form a bond with somebody who

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Speaker 1: was going through something so similar, you know, because then

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Speaker 1: you guys can relate on that journey. You know, however,

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Speaker 1: everybody is not going to be as strong as everybody else.

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Speaker 1: You get what I'm saying, like everybody handles things differently.

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Speaker 1: She lost her mom, You know, she was on the

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Speaker 1: right path until she had another lost. I imagined that

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Speaker 1: her and her mom were closed or her mom was

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Speaker 1: somebody that helped her, probably out with her son. Now

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Speaker 1: you're off to a you know, a whole nother turning

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Speaker 1: point in your life. You know you've pivoted in such

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Speaker 1: a way or you don't want to go back. However

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Speaker 1: it is triggering for you. Then what you need to

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Speaker 1: do is have your husband or your fiance be that

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Speaker 1: shield for you. That's your best friend and that's the

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Speaker 1: mother of your god baby. I wouldn't say give up

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Speaker 1: on her, and I know you don't want to put

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Speaker 1: yourself at risk into falling back into that hole. I

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Speaker 1: do understand that, However, you don't want your best friend

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Speaker 1: to go back so deep into that hole. Right And

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00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,440
Speaker 1: while it's still early, it's so early, I still feel

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Speaker 1: that there's a way that you can catch her. You know,

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Speaker 1: you can pull it back about that shit. You understand

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. There was a reason that you too connected.

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Speaker 1: There was a reason that you two actually became best friends,

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Speaker 1: or whether it was trauma bonding, you know, from the

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Speaker 1: drugs behind the drugs, or whatever it was, there was

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Speaker 1: a reason that you two met. You get what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: And right now you're about to walk down the aisle.

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Speaker 1: I do understand. I'm not asking you to take on

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Speaker 1: burdens of other people. That's not what I'm asking you

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Speaker 1: to do. I'm asking you to also bringing a professional,

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00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:05,520
Speaker 1: but you're the more familiar face. And yeah, of course

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Speaker 1: she lashed out on you because in a way, she

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00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,120
Speaker 1: feels like you're looking down on her. But this is

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Speaker 1: all why she's high. You understand what I'm saying. And

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Speaker 1: then you know, even when she's sober, it's that guilt

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Speaker 1: eating her up. But she's fucking grieving as well. And

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Speaker 1: she's not grieving the loss of another friend. She's not

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Speaker 1: grieving the loss of a you know, a parrot or

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Speaker 1: you know her a parrot as a bird everybody like

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Speaker 1: a bear or what. You know, She's not grieving just

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Speaker 1: the loss of some person. What this is? How mom?

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Speaker 1: You know? And I don't know if you know that pain.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know that pain. But I know a

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Speaker 1: lot of people that has that pain, and I understand.

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Speaker 1: I understand. I cannot put myself in their shoes because

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Speaker 1: I don't feel what they feel, but I can understand

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Speaker 1: what it's like losing a person that birthed you, especially

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Speaker 1: if y'all relationship wasn't on the ouse and it ain't

325
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:56,760
Speaker 1: have to be the best. But you only get one

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Speaker 1: of them. You only get one freaking mom. The whole

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Speaker 1: reason that I exist, other than God himself, is gone

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Speaker 1: my mother. You understand what I'm saying. Hold up, Hold up,

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00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:10,480
Speaker 1: I know this shit getting good, But listen to just

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Speaker 1: a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me,

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Speaker 1: you'll listen. You don't want to fall back into that shit.

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Speaker 1: I get it. You talk to your husband, I mean,

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00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,520
Speaker 1: you talk to your son to be husband. You talk

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Speaker 1: to other people. Did you have any other people in

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00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,960
Speaker 1: your foundation, like any other people that inspired you, that

336
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,560
Speaker 1: helped you along the way to stay clean, like something else,

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00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:33,400
Speaker 1: somebody else. It's going to take a couple of people.

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Speaker 1: But y'all got to get her out of that. Well.

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00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,800
Speaker 1: I don't want to say y'all got to get her

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Speaker 1: out of that, because then I'm actually putting a lot

341
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,160
Speaker 1: of pressure on you. But that's your friend, you know

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00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,440
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, that's the mother of you, god child.

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Speaker 1: I don't care if it is. You take your god baby,

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00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,000
Speaker 1: you get what I'm saying, and send a professional in

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Speaker 1: to help her. And then I also can already feel

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00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:56,120
Speaker 1: that you feel a sense of obligation as well, because y'all,

347
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,640
Speaker 1: y'all went through y'all journey together kind disorder, you know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you met her in there, you met her

349
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:03,440
Speaker 1: and rehab, you know, so I just want you to

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00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,199
Speaker 1: have just a little bit more, you know, give her

351
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,600
Speaker 1: a lot, give her a little bit more grace, you know,

352
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,560
Speaker 1: try to help her. You know, if you can't do it,

353
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,439
Speaker 1: because you can't do it alone, if you can't do

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00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,760
Speaker 1: it even with support, then I understand. You know, at

355
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:19,600
Speaker 1: least you tried. But if that were you, you get

356
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:23,200
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, and the table's returned, you will want

357
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,760
Speaker 1: her to pull you up out of that shit. You know.

358
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Speaker 1: You know that behavior all too well. You know, she

359
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,119
Speaker 1: don't mean nothing that she say that's out of pocket

360
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,120
Speaker 1: or that's mean she just grieving, And then on top

361
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,199
Speaker 1: of that, she used and is she guilty? You know?

362
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:40,840
Speaker 1: What I'm saying, So just try, just just try, just try.

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Speaker 1: But in order for you not to slip, you got

364
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:47,280
Speaker 1: to have your support system too when you go help her.

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00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,040
Speaker 1: If your husband, I mean, you know, I keep saying husband,

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Speaker 1: I'm just so happy that you get married. If your

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Speaker 1: fiance has to be with you when you go and

368
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,679
Speaker 1: a couple other people go, go back to your rehab,

369
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,760
Speaker 1: snitch on her. Look, look she's backing. You know, her

370
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Speaker 1: mom just died, she's grieving. Who can go with me

371
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,640
Speaker 1: to her house? Yo? Come on, man, we gotta get

372
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:10,879
Speaker 1: her right. I can help take the baby, or we

373
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,320
Speaker 1: can give the baby to like you know, another close

374
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,520
Speaker 1: family member that she got somebody something. But I need

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00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:19,439
Speaker 1: to get my best friend together. That's your best friend,

376
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,159
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. For a reason, thank you

377
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,480
Speaker 1: for writing me. I'm happy that you did reach out.

378
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,520
Speaker 1: This is something that I do know all too well, because,

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Speaker 1: like I said, close friends and family on both sides

380
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,199
Speaker 1: of my family. You know, I have gone through this.

381
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,159
Speaker 1: And then I grew up in West Baltimore City, you know,

382
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,920
Speaker 1: so I've seen this from a child, you know what

383
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,440
Speaker 1: I'm saying, As a child, from a growing child, I've

384
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,679
Speaker 1: seen shit like this. You know, a lot of my

385
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,800
Speaker 1: friends did make it. A lot of them did, A

386
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,399
Speaker 1: lot of them went back to that shit, a lot

387
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,280
Speaker 1: of them did not, a lot of them stayed friends

388
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:54,479
Speaker 1: with each other, A lot of them didn't. Because people

389
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:59,040
Speaker 1: do change, people do evolve, and some people don't, you

390
00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:01,280
Speaker 1: get what I'm saying. So like, if you can make

391
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,879
Speaker 1: a difference, definitely make one. You will not regret it,

392
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,840
Speaker 1: you know, But don't, like you said, don't put yourself

393
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:08,520
Speaker 1: in a line of fire. And you're strong enough to

394
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,399
Speaker 1: know that, and that's why I'm really proud of you

395
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,080
Speaker 1: for that. A lot of you know, ex addicts, they're

396
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:16,560
Speaker 1: not even strong enough to realize when they can be triggered.

397
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,080
Speaker 1: You get what I'm saying, because a lot of them

398
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,320
Speaker 1: haven't reached that point yet. But check back in with me,

399
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,520
Speaker 1: baby girl. I want to say I do love you.

400
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:24,840
Speaker 1: I even love your friend. You know what I'm saying.

401
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,800
Speaker 1: I ain't got to know y'all to love y'all. I'm

402
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,199
Speaker 1: a stranger from the outside looking in, but I do

403
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,000
Speaker 1: care about both of you women, and of course that

404
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:35,479
Speaker 1: baby you know, So just write me back, let me know,

405
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:39,320
Speaker 1: keep me posted, and just like that, We've come to

406
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:43,800
Speaker 1: yet another ending to carefully reckless episode with your Girl

407
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,280
Speaker 1: just hilarious. What I'll be doing, I'll be fixing, ask y'all.

408
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:48,080
Speaker 1: That's what I'll be trying to do. Y'all, be trying

409
00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:50,520
Speaker 1: to do it even with this full on belly, this

410
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,240
Speaker 1: baby growing up in here. Listen, y'all. I said I

411
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,040
Speaker 1: wanted to have a gender revealed, but I don't know,

412
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,480
Speaker 1: Like I don't know. I'm just I'm getting the closer

413
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:02,119
Speaker 1: I'm getting to, like my getting into my pregnancy, like

414
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,560
Speaker 1: the deeper I'm getting into my pregnancy. I'm like, look, listen,

415
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 1: that gender reveal shit is just something that has developed

416
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,320
Speaker 1: over social media. That's for the Internet, and I don't

417
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 1: give a fuck. I want to know. Like, of course

418
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,680
Speaker 1: Chris want to know. That's my boyfriend Slash Babies, and yeah,

419
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:19,280
Speaker 1: he wanted to know, but he's down with whatever I'm

420
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,840
Speaker 1: down with, And like my friends and my family gonna

421
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,600
Speaker 1: be so upset, but we got the look I'm probably

422
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,240
Speaker 1: gonna go see right now, like yo, because we didn't

423
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,720
Speaker 1: have the email for two weeks. But it's just like, nigga,

424
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 1: I want to know what the fuck I'm having. I

425
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 1: want to know what I'm having, and I gotta tell

426
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Speaker 1: I just I can't. Like, I mean, I probably won't

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00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,440
Speaker 1: tell the world. I don't know, but I need to know.

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Speaker 1: I just want to know. I've been manifesting a girl.

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00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:45,960
Speaker 1: I feel like a girl been baking up in here.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, because listen when I say I don't get

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Speaker 1: fucked by none, I don't get fucked by none. That's

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Speaker 1: real shit. You know. When I was pregnant with ash

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Speaker 1: what I do remember, I don't remember a lot of things,

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Speaker 1: like every little thing when I was pregnant with Ashen,

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Speaker 1: But I do remember being emotional and actually caring about

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Speaker 1: every little thing, and like I was trying to like

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Speaker 1: I don't know, like I just cared a little bit

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00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 1: too much about everything, and that like caused me to

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00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:20,159
Speaker 1: stress out, like nah, like but I don't know if

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00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:21,800
Speaker 1: that's the difference in having a boy or a girl,

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Speaker 1: but nigga, I just remember that being so vulnerable and

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00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:29,119
Speaker 1: so emotional when I was nineteen and pregnant, like like anything,

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00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,480
Speaker 1: I could see two birds on the roof and just

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00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:35,000
Speaker 1: cry because I'm like, I don't know what nast did

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00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,120
Speaker 1: they come out of? Are they lost? Story? I'm talking

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00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,359
Speaker 1: about everything. I would watch TV and cry care too

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00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 1: much about actors and I'm like, bitch, this is a

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00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 1: scripted series. These are actors. What are you doing? Like stop?

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00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 1: And then I would get bent out of shape about

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00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 1: little situations that I would be in and I'm like,

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00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 1: how what is going on? So I just really really

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00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 1: feel like this is a girl because Babe, you can't

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00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,399
Speaker 1: pay me to give two shits about shit going on today.

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00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,160
Speaker 1: I don't give a fun I'm talking about all these

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00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 1: people coming at me, all these like anything from anything.

456
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:07,440
Speaker 1: You can't get me to give to shits about it.

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00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 1: Like I am so fucking relaxed and chills and just

458
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:18,720
Speaker 1: happy and non give a fuck like I'm for real,

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00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 1: I make fun of everything. I don't care, like I

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00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,679
Speaker 1: don't care should That's where I'd be sitting there, like,

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00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:29,200
Speaker 1: oh you want to argue, You want to argue, baby,

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00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,639
Speaker 1: argue with your damn self. I'm gonna say, price it

463
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 1: like two three jokes and get it the fuck moving,

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00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 1: keep it moving. But I love you all, and make

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00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 1: sure you tune in every Wednesday to my podcast. Also

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00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,920
Speaker 1: get your tickets. April twenty seventh, we got the second

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00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:48,840
Speaker 1: annual Black Effect Podcast Festival and Atlanta Pullman Yards. Get

468
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 1: your tickets on the event. Bright Charlemagne, shout the shut out,

469
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 1: every goddamn Dad. That will be me, Whilo and Gilly, Lexandrea.

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00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:59,359
Speaker 1: We got a couple other people in the lineup Yard.

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00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,000
Speaker 1: It'll be some annals. We got food trucks and vendors

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00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 1: and all types of stuff. We got people with up

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00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 1: and coming podcasts that will be there, So make sure

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00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,639
Speaker 1: you come and enjoy yourselves. I love you, guys, and

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00:23:10,680 --> 00:24:25,399
Speaker 1: in my deepest pan voice, Can't Fully Reckless is a

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00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:29,200
Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts

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00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 1: from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

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00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.