WEBVTT - Ep. 462: Third Engagement’s The Charm Pt. 1 (feat. Sarah Fontenot) 

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<v Speaker 1>So when I was bad, I used to beg all

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<v Speaker 1>the because because the girls in the room would be fine.

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<v Speaker 2>But I come and to start making it.

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<v Speaker 1>But hey, they was they was okay with my three

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<v Speaker 1>next Yeah, they said, this bitch kind of funny.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's keep having her round.

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<v Speaker 3>Everybody thought I was breaking up with him because we

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<v Speaker 3>didn't did not care.

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<v Speaker 2>You broke up with him because you didn't get to

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<v Speaker 2>see him.

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<v Speaker 3>I felt that he had issues in his own body.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm crazy. Yeah, I ain't gonna hold you.

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<v Speaker 3>Turn it away from me, not being able to me.

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<v Speaker 3>Nudity is just so expressive and normal.

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<v Speaker 2>The decisions, decisions.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of The Cion The Cions.

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<v Speaker 1>It'sy girl, Mandy b a k A Peg the Sallion

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<v Speaker 1>aka Peggy Bundy AKA That's Beach.

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<v Speaker 3>Hang everybody, I'm weezy. We're back with another three someome.

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<v Speaker 2>That is right.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if she would actually join us, though

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<v Speaker 1>she would actually probably be like, uh, I don't do that, y'all.

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<v Speaker 2>Y'all gotta give me a ring first, Can I tell

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<v Speaker 2>you talk?

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<v Speaker 3>So? Amandy sent your page? I'm like, is this the

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<v Speaker 3>one that wouldn't save her kids?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? That would choose my husband. I would not say no, no,

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<v Speaker 2>you said you could only save one. I'm shooting my son,

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<v Speaker 2>my husband. Y'all, we are joined. Bye.

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<v Speaker 1>The host of the It's Giving podcast, Sarah Fontano's dad

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<v Speaker 1>shorter period period, Go ahead and do bling bling bling,

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<v Speaker 1>but this man, So, as we're filming this, how many

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<v Speaker 1>days in a marriage are you?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay? So this is the thing.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know if y'all saw it, but we actually

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<v Speaker 4>just hit our six month Okay, your yourage anniversary.

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<v Speaker 1>You kept it, you kept it, you kept it a secret,

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<v Speaker 1>and then you celebrated and posted it all.

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<v Speaker 4>But after the wedding, it's been one week with days

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<v Speaker 4>of today and three days.

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<v Speaker 2>After the wedding, okay, ten days okay?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what made you guys get married and then choose

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<v Speaker 1>the wedding six months later?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh my gosh. Okay, this is interesting. Okay, so what

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<v Speaker 4>made us get married immediately?

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<v Speaker 2>Hold on, no, no, no, you know what. We gotta wait.

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<v Speaker 1>We gotta save this, We gotta say this because we

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<v Speaker 1>gotta get to it. We gotta get to it.

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<v Speaker 2>So, y'all, we're.

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<v Speaker 1>Gonna do kind of a journey through Sarah's dating history

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<v Speaker 1>because not only do I find it. It's interesting. Let

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<v Speaker 1>me tell y'all how much I hate her content. And

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<v Speaker 1>then I met her and I said, girl, I'm mad.

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<v Speaker 2>I like you yo, I did.

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<v Speaker 1>I came up to her tonight's conversation was like, you

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<v Speaker 1>really believe the shit you be saying? And she kind

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<v Speaker 1>of looked at me and was like, you believe the

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<v Speaker 1>shit you'd be saying too, because we're stark differences. And

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<v Speaker 1>what I love too is that like as women with

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes similar goals, surprisingly enough sometimes we can all get

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<v Speaker 1>to exactly what we want, which is happiness with the

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<v Speaker 1>partner that we inevitably decide that we want it.

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<v Speaker 3>But it is important to top the episode in letting

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<v Speaker 3>people know that you did just get married, did just

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<v Speaker 3>get me married? And that context of what I was

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<v Speaker 3>saying is apparently, and I want you guys to know

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<v Speaker 3>a little bit about our guests.

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<v Speaker 2>You didn't have sex until marriage. Yeah, and here.

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<v Speaker 3>We are horrible decision decisions. There's just no holes barred

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<v Speaker 3>behind her head there. It's like, because I'm not gonna

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<v Speaker 3>hold you.

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<v Speaker 1>That's like probably the craziest thing, Like I'm not marrying

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<v Speaker 1>somebody without knowing what that did do.

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<v Speaker 2>And I have questions further because I need to know,

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<v Speaker 2>like if.

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<v Speaker 3>If we'll get to I think that the only thing

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<v Speaker 3>that would have scared me.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, maybe I.

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<v Speaker 4>Would it was like a thumb, but no, I'm sure

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<v Speaker 4>to see me. It was not a thumb.

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<v Speaker 1>But but okay, so you did get to see it first.

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<v Speaker 1>This is I feel like you could kind of see.

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<v Speaker 2>No, girl, I mean you didn't see it. You did.

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<v Speaker 2>Let me know why I asked that.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm actually not meaning it in a sexual way at all,

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<v Speaker 3>just like being around each other nudity like you're own. No.

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<v Speaker 4>Also, he's a huge man like that don't mean nothing

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<v Speaker 4>in three quarters huge, like his whole hand could he

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<v Speaker 4>could literally palm from one side of my waist.

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<v Speaker 2>To the other. I've had like seven footer with I

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<v Speaker 2>little need to see it. Yeah, I don't need to

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<v Speaker 2>taste it. I just need to see it first.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, I'm not gonna hold you or at least like

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<v Speaker 1>y'all watching TV and you say Romeo KOCHI weezy, but

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<v Speaker 1>you gotta get the field test.

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<v Speaker 3>So I actually had an issue with a man that

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<v Speaker 3>dated that was celibate, and I totally respected it. He

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<v Speaker 3>was kind of no, Well, he was celibate for a

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<v Speaker 3>movie that he was writing. He didn't hadn't completed it yet,

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<v Speaker 3>and he was like, when I'm finished writing the script,

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<v Speaker 3>like I'm ready to have sex again. The one thing

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<v Speaker 3>I actually didn't appreciate was that he.

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<v Speaker 2>Wouldn't be naked around me.

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<v Speaker 3>And so to me, I was totally fine with nothing penetrative,

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<v Speaker 3>like nor or nothing. But I thought that because he

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<v Speaker 3>couldn't be comfortable around me, that's what I thought. I

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<v Speaker 3>thought it was a comfort thing. I was like, oh, yeah, no,

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<v Speaker 3>I can't do it. I've got to see every part

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<v Speaker 3>of you. That was something that in my head felt

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<v Speaker 3>like it made sense. So that's why I'm curious. That's

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<v Speaker 3>so much questions.

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<v Speaker 2>What I feel like.

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<v Speaker 4>But because men are so much usually the ones that

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<v Speaker 4>are like initiating the physical the naked, but for most

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<v Speaker 4>men and write more than women, and for me, I

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<v Speaker 4>would be thinking, if I'm celibate, I wouldn't want to

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<v Speaker 4>be around you naked, if as a man, because it

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<v Speaker 4>immediately those thoughts are to come up and it's like

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<v Speaker 4>that's what I want.

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<v Speaker 3>I guess I thought it was an uncomfortability he had.

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<v Speaker 3>And the day that I realized it was intentional. Was Oh,

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<v Speaker 3>we went to one of those like spot suites where

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<v Speaker 3>they got the cold plunge and the sun.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh no, right, so I'm thinking you was going to

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<v Speaker 2>get a change.

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<v Speaker 3>He went and changed privately, and I was like, all right,

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<v Speaker 3>that's too far from me.

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<v Speaker 2>That's so far like you're he could just turned his body.

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<v Speaker 3>I never saw him naked, and so basically when it

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<v Speaker 3>ended up breaking off, I was like, the sex is

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<v Speaker 3>not this. Everybody thought I was breaking up with him

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<v Speaker 3>because we didn't fuck.

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<v Speaker 2>Did not care. You broke up with him because you

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<v Speaker 2>didn't get to see his dick.

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<v Speaker 3>I felt that he had issues in his own body.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm crazy. Yeah, I ain't gonna turn it away from me.

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<v Speaker 3>Not being able to me nudity is just so expressive

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<v Speaker 3>and normal.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh I'm the opposite, you know, I'm the opposite. I

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<v Speaker 4>mean I feel like I feel like with women. With women,

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<v Speaker 4>I don't care, we are the same. But when it

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<v Speaker 4>comes to like like significant other, I'm not the friend

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<v Speaker 4>that's like, oh my god, let me change in front

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<v Speaker 4>of you. When I have men friends, I will never

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<v Speaker 4>change in front of you. I'm not gonna go of course.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, no, I'm not going to me. I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>changing in front of my male friend. Ye, it's not.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not you don't get women different. I mean my

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<v Speaker 2>gay male friends. Yes, I don't know. I'm not even

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<v Speaker 2>the game al friend. I don't know. Maybe yeah, probably,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I don't know, Okay, Okay.

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<v Speaker 4>Also, we're in show business, so there's also like if

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<v Speaker 4>we're getting miked or like whatever like that.

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<v Speaker 3>I think that there are parameters. I guess you could say,

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<v Speaker 3>but I don't know.

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<v Speaker 4>And Nude Beaches, I feel like Nude Beaches is mostly

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<v Speaker 4>like old people here for it.

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<v Speaker 3>Like culturally speaking too, did you grow up in a

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<v Speaker 3>naked house?

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<v Speaker 2>Could I do? No?

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<v Speaker 3>My mom, Yeah that's a naked house. Oh yeah yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Now you're Canadian?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, so do you have different Is it different being

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<v Speaker 1>a Canadian?

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<v Speaker 2>I know it's still like North America?

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<v Speaker 3>But what bruh is it? You almost didn't say Canadian?

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<v Speaker 3>You said, is it different being a Canada?

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<v Speaker 2>Canadian? Like you Canadian?

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<v Speaker 3>Like?

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<v Speaker 2>And Drake is kind of like us? We don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>Apparently he's not like us, he's kind of like us.

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<v Speaker 1>But growing up in Canada, were there different like ways

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<v Speaker 1>in which you go about traditionally dating, like what was

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<v Speaker 1>what was your house like?

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<v Speaker 2>Growing up?

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<v Speaker 4>Well, there aren't a lot of black people where I'm

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<v Speaker 4>from because not only my Canadian I'm from Saskatchewan, Regina,

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<v Speaker 4>Saskatchewan actually a no no. But I did cariyan as

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<v Speaker 4>my whole life. Like, okay, we we definitely have a

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<v Speaker 4>community there. But I'm Native American and black. Okay that's

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<v Speaker 4>the question.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, So it was completely different.

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<v Speaker 4>And what I realized when I go back and I

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<v Speaker 4>have conversations with young black women or nieces or whoever,

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<v Speaker 4>They're like, we don't date black men because the black

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<v Speaker 4>men that they have the choices of there aren't. There

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<v Speaker 4>aren't like American black people in Canada, there are usually

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<v Speaker 4>Africans or they are the same mixed up as us.

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<v Speaker 4>So I feel like growing up or being in America

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<v Speaker 4>is probably very similar to how like a mixed kid

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<v Speaker 4>would feel. How do I identify? Do I identify with

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<v Speaker 4>the black side or the white side. I'm not saying

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<v Speaker 4>that I'm mixed. I'm saying that I hear all the

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<v Speaker 4>time when people say things like, oh my god, you're

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<v Speaker 4>so different, You're so different, and I don't know what

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<v Speaker 4>that means. Because I have no reference point. I didn't

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<v Speaker 4>grow up here. But even moving to Atlanta, I've seen

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<v Speaker 4>weird caddy things that I haven't experienced since I was

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<v Speaker 4>in high school. Like what you know, oh, girls trying

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<v Speaker 4>to talk bad about your gossip about your drag, your name.

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<v Speaker 2>And they don't gossip in Canada. I don't know. I honestly,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. Wait, there's no fucking way. I don't know,

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<v Speaker 2>not in my not I don't even.

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<v Speaker 3>Know gossiping was. Until I became an adult, I was

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<v Speaker 3>like white.

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<v Speaker 1>People, Yeah, you thought gossip it was a black people

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<v Speaker 1>think kind.

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<v Speaker 2>I grew up black.

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<v Speaker 3>Actually in Atlanta, Grandma were sitting outside and they were

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<v Speaker 3>walked by.

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<v Speaker 2>Of course we're talking about her.

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<v Speaker 3>You thought it was Literally if I hear someone mumble

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<v Speaker 3>I think we're gossiping, I can't hear him.

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<v Speaker 2>What I don't think, Like that's what we do. That's crazy,

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<v Speaker 2>That is crazy, That is crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>a little crazy. I think.

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<v Speaker 3>I think that's an observation though, like like it.

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<v Speaker 2>Was your mom and dad together in the household.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, even now, like like so, my my parents kind

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<v Speaker 4>of ruined me a little bit, to be honest.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, let's get into it.

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<v Speaker 4>TRUMPA so it yes, but no and no, but yes.

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<v Speaker 4>What I mean by that is I've never seen my

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<v Speaker 4>parents fight my whole life.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh never not.

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<v Speaker 4>And because I never saw my parents fight, I thought

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<v Speaker 4>that when I fought getting into relationships, I was broken.

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<v Speaker 4>Something was wrong with me because I never saw them fight.

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<v Speaker 4>I never experienced repair. I didn't know what it meant

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<v Speaker 4>to fix a problem or an issue in a relationship

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<v Speaker 4>because from my perspective at that young age and that vantage.

0:10:20.000 --> 0:10:22.120
<v Speaker 2>Point, they didn't. You don't. You don't fight.

0:10:22.160 --> 0:10:23.800
<v Speaker 3>If you fight, you're broken. There's something wrong with you

0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:26.680
<v Speaker 3>about broken. But I actually agree, I would never fight

0:10:26.679 --> 0:10:28.880
<v Speaker 3>in front of my kids. My parents barely fight. From me,

0:10:29.240 --> 0:10:32.200
<v Speaker 3>I barely saw it. Yeah, I think it's appropriate, Like

0:10:32.280 --> 0:10:34.400
<v Speaker 3>kids don't need to be in Have you seen those

0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:37.400
<v Speaker 3>memes where it's like we all experience this and it's

0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:39.440
<v Speaker 3>like parents walking in like come on, we're leaving your

0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:41.160
<v Speaker 3>dad and da da, and they like tussle back and

0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:42.559
<v Speaker 3>forth and Dad's like go back to sleep.

0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:44.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, no, I didn't experience that. No, I didn't.

0:10:44.760 --> 0:10:46.959
<v Speaker 2>Oh girl, my daddy went to jail for being my mama.

0:10:47.040 --> 0:10:49.440
<v Speaker 1>Then one of the boyfriends had to be gone, and

0:10:49.480 --> 0:10:50.400
<v Speaker 1>she called my cousins over.

0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:51.800
<v Speaker 2>They came over with pots and pants.

0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:53.760
<v Speaker 1>As it was like, Nikki, you got forgot, like we

0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:56.520
<v Speaker 1>didn't chase my mama boyfriends out the house before crazy

0:10:56.720 --> 0:10:57.760
<v Speaker 1>crazy times over here.

0:10:58.000 --> 0:11:01.200
<v Speaker 3>See, I feel like that's almost shape that relationships are bad.

0:11:01.920 --> 0:11:04.839
<v Speaker 1>I mean to me, I've and I think that that's

0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:07.320
<v Speaker 1>why we've talked about like I've never grown up seeing

0:11:07.360 --> 0:11:10.320
<v Speaker 1>a healthy relationship. I will say also, though from the

0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:15.080
<v Speaker 1>vantage point of view, you both not seeing confrontation and

0:11:15.160 --> 0:11:20.000
<v Speaker 1>resolve also gave you a false perception of a healthy

0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:22.520
<v Speaker 1>relationship that may not have been healthy, and so you

0:11:22.559 --> 0:11:25.760
<v Speaker 1>didn't have also the tools to see. Okay, Well, I

0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:28.079
<v Speaker 1>got to see my parents work through something. Literally, it

0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:29.800
<v Speaker 1>wasn't visible for you.

0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:32.199
<v Speaker 4>It wasn't until I was an adult where I was like, Mom,

0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:33.400
<v Speaker 4>did you and Dad ever fight?

0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:35.440
<v Speaker 2>And my mom was like, we fought all the time.

0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:37.760
<v Speaker 4>We just waited for y'all to go to sleep. Like

0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:40.160
<v Speaker 4>they never fought in front of us. They always fought

0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:43.200
<v Speaker 4>behind closed doors. So I feel like now, if or

0:11:43.200 --> 0:11:45.880
<v Speaker 4>when God sees fit to give us a child, I

0:11:45.920 --> 0:11:46.200
<v Speaker 4>want to.

0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:47.680
<v Speaker 2>Be in the middle. Now.

0:11:47.720 --> 0:11:50.040
<v Speaker 4>I'm never gonna cuss I don't even believe in speaking

0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:51.640
<v Speaker 4>in my man a certain way. There's certain things it's

0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:53.560
<v Speaker 4>just not on the table for me. I'm not a yeller.

0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:55.679
<v Speaker 4>I'm not gonna cuss him out. I'm not gonna call

0:11:55.720 --> 0:11:58.040
<v Speaker 4>him out his name. That's not who I am. But

0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:02.480
<v Speaker 4>if I'm really frustrated, my energy is really heavy, Like

0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:04.600
<v Speaker 4>you could feel me down the block.

0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:07.040
<v Speaker 3>That's how jacked up my energy could be. And that's

0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:07.800
<v Speaker 3>good or bad?

0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:10.240
<v Speaker 4>Right, I'm in a positive or negative You don't feel

0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:13.720
<v Speaker 4>it right, So I feel like what I get to

0:12:13.800 --> 0:12:17.760
<v Speaker 4>learn is how to Yes, it's okay for us to disagree. Yes,

0:12:17.800 --> 0:12:20.760
<v Speaker 4>it's okay for us to passionately feel opposite. And I

0:12:20.800 --> 0:12:23.640
<v Speaker 4>still love you and I don't agree with you, but

0:12:23.679 --> 0:12:25.000
<v Speaker 4>I can understand what you're saying.

0:12:25.120 --> 0:12:26.360
<v Speaker 2>I can validate what you're saying.

0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:29.360
<v Speaker 4>So now our children get to see mom and dad

0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:32.480
<v Speaker 4>as Oh they're not perfect, right, they have issues, they

0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:34.120
<v Speaker 4>have problems, but they work them out.

0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:37.719
<v Speaker 3>Did you do premarital counsel Yeah? We did, did you well?

0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:41.640
<v Speaker 4>Actually no, we were already married doing counseling because we

0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:45.680
<v Speaker 4>literally went friend to marriage and we went we went

0:12:45.760 --> 0:12:51.120
<v Speaker 4>friend married, engaged, engagement party bridal shower wedding.

0:12:51.480 --> 0:12:53.920
<v Speaker 2>That's crazy. Yeah, we did everything backwards?

0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:56.280
<v Speaker 1>Can we now you did everything backwards with this one?

0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:58.959
<v Speaker 1>But this ain't your first ring? No, so can.

0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:01.800
<v Speaker 2>We get to this is your third ring? Third time?

0:13:01.920 --> 0:13:02.640
<v Speaker 2>That's what they said.

0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:05.559
<v Speaker 3>You know, I've been engaged twice and this time actually

0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:06.079
<v Speaker 3>wasn't engaged.

0:13:06.120 --> 0:13:08.600
<v Speaker 2>I was just married. She said, fucking engagement. That thing

0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:11.120
<v Speaker 2>is bad. Look, I don't feel I feel like I'm

0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:11.880
<v Speaker 2>when I tell you.

0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:15.320
<v Speaker 4>I feel like people put so much on fiance, but

0:13:15.360 --> 0:13:18.440
<v Speaker 4>a fiance is a glorified girlfriend who there's no safety

0:13:18.440 --> 0:13:19.280
<v Speaker 4>inside of fiance.

0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:21.680
<v Speaker 2>There's no there's no that issue because there was no

0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:22.120
<v Speaker 2>real comment.

0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:26.679
<v Speaker 3>I think that we just, oh, we're so pessimistic about relationships.

0:13:26.720 --> 0:13:31.000
<v Speaker 3>Sometimes I agree, like me too, Like literally, I've said

0:13:31.000 --> 0:13:33.559
<v Speaker 3>the same thing. I'm like, he's still cheating, like I'm

0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:37.840
<v Speaker 3>saying that. But I think it does It shows people that, like, hey,

0:13:37.840 --> 0:13:40.199
<v Speaker 3>I'm ready to go that next mile. I think a

0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:41.839
<v Speaker 3>marriage is expensive, it.

0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:43.679
<v Speaker 2>Doesn't have to be. I got married at the courthouse.

0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:44.440
<v Speaker 2>I would get married.

0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:47.880
<v Speaker 4>My man said, you deserve a wedding, And at first

0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:50.080
<v Speaker 4>we're gonna get married in the backyard, and then he

0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:53.000
<v Speaker 4>was like nah, you deserve a wedding. So then then

0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:55.800
<v Speaker 4>it turned into creating what we created, and we still

0:13:55.840 --> 0:13:56.920
<v Speaker 4>didn't spend that much money.

0:13:56.960 --> 0:13:59.680
<v Speaker 2>People be talking about, oh my my wedding was now.

0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:03.080
<v Speaker 4>Look like it was a lot of money. But your girl,

0:14:03.120 --> 0:14:06.160
<v Speaker 4>I don't. I don't operate that way. But I do

0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:08.600
<v Speaker 4>think that why I say it's a glorified girlfriend is

0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:10.600
<v Speaker 4>because there are so many people that get rings that

0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:12.959
<v Speaker 4>never make it to the altar, or they just really

0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:14.880
<v Speaker 4>some people are just giving their girls ring so they'll

0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:16.199
<v Speaker 4>stop talking about it.

0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:18.600
<v Speaker 2>Or because they got they got a baby on the way.

0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:22.760
<v Speaker 3>Period said what, I always got friends that are going

0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:23.360
<v Speaker 3>through some trouble.

0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:25.280
<v Speaker 2>No, a lot of our friends. I ain't gonna hold

0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:27.080
<v Speaker 2>you in twenty twenty six.

0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:28.800
<v Speaker 1>If you're about to have a baby and your man

0:14:28.840 --> 0:14:31.680
<v Speaker 1>proposed to you, just know he's not gonna be there

0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:32.760
<v Speaker 1>when the baby six months.

0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:36.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm telling you it is it's literally, it is a curse.

0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:37.720
<v Speaker 2>It is a curse.

0:14:38.040 --> 0:14:42.000
<v Speaker 1>Do not let your man or future baby daddy propose

0:14:42.120 --> 0:14:43.920
<v Speaker 1>to you at the baby shower because it is a

0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:46.440
<v Speaker 1>curse and you will never get married and you're gonna

0:14:46.440 --> 0:14:47.120
<v Speaker 1>be a single mama.

0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:49.560
<v Speaker 4>I think that if you're engaged for longer than two years,

0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:52.760
<v Speaker 4>you probably ain't gonna get married. Uh oh, I agree

0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:56.840
<v Speaker 4>with that point because it's a dang. But engagement is

0:14:56.880 --> 0:14:59.960
<v Speaker 4>the time in which you go from girlfriend and boyfriend

0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:01.280
<v Speaker 4>to husband and wife.

0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:03.640
<v Speaker 2>Why would you have a long engagement period. What is

0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:04.040
<v Speaker 2>the point?

0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:07.320
<v Speaker 3>I guess because they want this elaborate wedding. But then

0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:09.800
<v Speaker 3>the more like it talks to people that have engaged

0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:10.880
<v Speaker 3>for years, I was.

0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:11.960
<v Speaker 2>Like, Okay, well, what's the hold up?

0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:16.040
<v Speaker 4>We don't really know what we want to do, and

0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:18.320
<v Speaker 4>she don't like you. Y'all don't like each other. They

0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:19.400
<v Speaker 4>don't really want to get married.

0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:21.440
<v Speaker 2>You just want to This is the thing too. And

0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:23.440
<v Speaker 2>look I might get eating alive. You know me, I

0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:30.520
<v Speaker 2>have my But I don't think. I think there are

0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:33.120
<v Speaker 2>so many women that don't even like their men. They

0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:35.360
<v Speaker 2>just don't. They just want to have one. They want

0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:38.680
<v Speaker 2>to be able to tell her they gonna be like.

0:15:38.920 --> 0:15:41.640
<v Speaker 4>They just want their women friends to know somebody chose me.

0:15:41.760 --> 0:15:44.880
<v Speaker 4>I'm worth being chosen. I'm in a relationship. Now, Look

0:15:44.880 --> 0:15:45.760
<v Speaker 4>how good I am?

0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:48.320
<v Speaker 2>Look? Oh, I'm gonna it's all. It's all, you know.

0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:50.560
<v Speaker 3>I don't blame the women that feel that I have

0:15:50.600 --> 0:15:54.160
<v Speaker 3>a friend of mine that moved super fast into a relationship.

0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:56.120
<v Speaker 3>Actually is making me think about what you were saying,

0:15:56.120 --> 0:15:59.720
<v Speaker 3>because just found out a person as ed. That's what

0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:01.480
<v Speaker 3>erectile dysfunction? Like?

0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:03.800
<v Speaker 2>What if what if your husband had ed? You ain't? No?

0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:07.040
<v Speaker 2>Would would you call off the wedding? Would you get

0:16:07.040 --> 0:16:13.280
<v Speaker 2>it annulled? If ed? Bak, she ain't find out she married?

0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:18.320
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Oh, hypothetical, let's go since you're talking about husband

0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:24.680
<v Speaker 1>and kids falling into the ocean. So hypothetical question. You

0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:29.720
<v Speaker 1>wait to have sex until marriage. Okay, you get married

0:16:30.160 --> 0:16:35.360
<v Speaker 1>and you find out your now husband has a rectile dysfunction?

0:16:35.520 --> 0:16:38.360
<v Speaker 3>How dysfunctional is that you see by having a shot

0:16:38.400 --> 0:16:39.240
<v Speaker 3>on sex in the city?

0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:43.440
<v Speaker 2>Yet, bro, So do you.

0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:48.520
<v Speaker 1>Work through the marriage and either open it up or

0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:51.480
<v Speaker 1>get him an extender? Or what what do you do

0:16:51.640 --> 0:16:53.960
<v Speaker 1>to stay in the marriage or do you annul the

0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:57.080
<v Speaker 1>marriage because you cannot move forward because you need to.

0:16:57.000 --> 0:16:59.160
<v Speaker 2>Work and get a surgery you can get that you can't.

0:16:59.400 --> 0:17:02.480
<v Speaker 2>There's no search for d No, there's a surgery that can.

0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:05.400
<v Speaker 2>You could pump. Oh, so you'll pump your dick every time,

0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:06.119
<v Speaker 2>so you're you're.

0:17:05.960 --> 0:17:09.119
<v Speaker 4>Pumping, you pump pump that pump it up of the power,

0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:11.560
<v Speaker 4>stop stumping.

0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:14.760
<v Speaker 2>And that jam is pumping. I ain't gonna hold you.

0:17:15.240 --> 0:17:17.359
<v Speaker 3>God, I'd be like, are you ready to get right?

0:17:17.560 --> 0:17:21.679
<v Speaker 1>I would to me and my husband getting a boyfriend.

0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:25.040
<v Speaker 1>You are not making me pump, y'all dick every time

0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:27.320
<v Speaker 1>I want to get fucked, y'all already learned. I'd like

0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:29.120
<v Speaker 1>to get fucked for two hours. What if we got

0:17:29.119 --> 0:17:31.440
<v Speaker 1>to pump in between every two hours?

0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:34.679
<v Speaker 2>Girl? What are you doing for girl? Everything? There is

0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:35.240
<v Speaker 2>a lot to do.

0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:37.480
<v Speaker 3>This bit walked in here today with that two hours

0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:42.560
<v Speaker 3>ship every two hours. When I said this podcast, whatever

0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:45.080
<v Speaker 3>you said, you gotta fuck me in all the yays.

0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:47.680
<v Speaker 3>So I don't want to fuck again, she said, because

0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:49.040
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to have to call another dick.

0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:50.240
<v Speaker 2>Like I want to.

0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:52.960
<v Speaker 1>I want to fuck, like I literally want to fuck

0:17:53.080 --> 0:17:55.520
<v Speaker 1>so hard than when we're done, I feel like, bitch,

0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:56.880
<v Speaker 1>I don't need dick for another month.

0:17:57.359 --> 0:17:59.560
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so two hours and then you have a break.

0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:01.720
<v Speaker 1>Well, no, because if he's in town for a couple

0:18:01.760 --> 0:18:04.680
<v Speaker 1>of days, we're fucking two hours every time we fucked.

0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:07.640
<v Speaker 1>But then when he's gone, I'd be like the wait

0:18:07.760 --> 0:18:11.800
<v Speaker 1>for like, I don't because I don't. I love it

0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:14.120
<v Speaker 1>because then I could be around niggas and not even

0:18:14.160 --> 0:18:17.280
<v Speaker 1>see them. I show my man and he was like,

0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:18.879
<v Speaker 1>how funny is that? And cut this clip and he

0:18:18.960 --> 0:18:20.639
<v Speaker 1>was watching it. I was like, isn't she crazy? And

0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:22.800
<v Speaker 1>he was like, no, I think I could do this too.

0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:24.800
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, what.

0:18:25.000 --> 0:18:29.560
<v Speaker 2>Y'all don't fuck for two hours? No running from the

0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:32.160
<v Speaker 2>big anywhere? Oh I don't.

0:18:32.240 --> 0:18:34.400
<v Speaker 3>Oh wait wait wait the girl with Edie, Oh yeah

0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:37.240
<v Speaker 3>wait wait so close close friend of mine and she

0:18:37.880 --> 0:18:40.520
<v Speaker 3>literally was like fuck, I cannot believe close close.

0:18:42.400 --> 0:18:44.040
<v Speaker 2>And ship take them back, don't that bitch?

0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:47.680
<v Speaker 3>So basically what happened was she's like, now I'm stuck

0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:48.800
<v Speaker 3>in this thing where.

0:18:50.080 --> 0:18:51.879
<v Speaker 2>I moved too fast. I kind of.

0:18:51.880 --> 0:18:54.439
<v Speaker 3>Thought the beginning stages was maybe we were, you know,

0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:57.800
<v Speaker 3>going to dinner, having drinks. Maybe that's why. And I

0:18:57.840 --> 0:19:01.320
<v Speaker 3>was like, this has to do with apps. You wanting

0:19:01.359 --> 0:19:05.280
<v Speaker 3>a man that fucking bad, because otherwise you wouldn't have

0:19:05.359 --> 0:19:07.080
<v Speaker 3>ended up in this. You would have been able to

0:19:07.080 --> 0:19:11.239
<v Speaker 3>pace yourself, have fun. The larger issue around this is

0:19:11.840 --> 0:19:13.119
<v Speaker 3>you met a man that wants to induce you to

0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:14.680
<v Speaker 3>his family, met a man that wants to take you

0:19:14.680 --> 0:19:16.240
<v Speaker 3>on vacation, you met a man that saying all the

0:19:16.320 --> 0:19:20.119
<v Speaker 3>right things. All of this stuff feels so exciting to

0:19:20.160 --> 0:19:25.160
<v Speaker 3>you because the feeling of being chosen is so intoxicated.

0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:29.320
<v Speaker 3>That's it, And I really believe it's because it's not.

0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:31.160
<v Speaker 3>And I said to her, it's not even your fault.

0:19:32.400 --> 0:19:35.679
<v Speaker 3>A society makes you feel by being chosen. I can

0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:40.240
<v Speaker 3>even tell you right now, the way that my friends

0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:42.440
<v Speaker 3>that are in couples I've been dating my boyfriend three years,

0:19:43.080 --> 0:19:45.560
<v Speaker 3>the way my friends are in couples have just my

0:19:45.600 --> 0:19:47.919
<v Speaker 3>homegirls that ended up getting a boyfriend while I was single.

0:19:48.280 --> 0:19:49.440
<v Speaker 2>They've come back into my.

0:19:49.359 --> 0:19:52.399
<v Speaker 3>Life in ways that I'm just like, damn, how did

0:19:52.400 --> 0:19:54.640
<v Speaker 3>I start hanging with her again? And I'm like, oh,

0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:58.440
<v Speaker 3>because now I'm comfortable for you to be around crazy easy.

0:19:58.520 --> 0:20:01.399
<v Speaker 3>Wasn't enough when I was like bouncing around and doing

0:20:01.440 --> 0:20:04.560
<v Speaker 3>this or just living my life and enjoying my solo time.

0:20:05.040 --> 0:20:08.280
<v Speaker 3>Now I'm acceptable for your nigga to let you hang

0:20:08.320 --> 0:20:08.679
<v Speaker 3>around me.

0:20:08.920 --> 0:20:11.240
<v Speaker 1>Like I know what this is. I'm still doing the

0:20:11.240 --> 0:20:13.160
<v Speaker 1>same shit with my man. I don't like it because

0:20:13.160 --> 0:20:14.879
<v Speaker 1>even when I had a boyfriend, my friends was still you.

0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:15.199
<v Speaker 2>To me?

0:20:15.359 --> 0:20:17.680
<v Speaker 1>Is the is the excuse when they were doing some bullshit.

0:20:18.440 --> 0:20:20.399
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I got a man, Why am I

0:20:20.400 --> 0:20:22.359
<v Speaker 1>still the whole friend? I just never got it.

0:20:23.240 --> 0:20:23.960
<v Speaker 2>Wait, what do you mean?

0:20:24.040 --> 0:20:27.200
<v Speaker 3>So when you say, you're saying now it's more acceptable for.

0:20:27.160 --> 0:20:29.520
<v Speaker 1>You for her friends to now like her friends are

0:20:29.520 --> 0:20:31.359
<v Speaker 1>now back in the circle because when she was single,

0:20:31.680 --> 0:20:33.080
<v Speaker 1>she was too much around her friends.

0:20:33.200 --> 0:20:36.080
<v Speaker 2>I think that they didn't trust you around their men.

0:20:36.320 --> 0:20:38.199
<v Speaker 3>No, no, no, no no, I did any more, so

0:20:38.359 --> 0:20:38.879
<v Speaker 3>their men.

0:20:38.760 --> 0:20:40.560
<v Speaker 2>Didn't trust her around the girls.

0:20:41.440 --> 0:20:44.359
<v Speaker 3>And so when I say things changed about my life, Sarah,

0:20:44.440 --> 0:20:48.160
<v Speaker 3>every single part of well, when I say euro every summer,

0:20:48.280 --> 0:20:51.520
<v Speaker 3>like going to South Africa, bopping around partying, like I do,

0:20:51.640 --> 0:20:53.600
<v Speaker 3>I do the exact same thing I did as when

0:20:53.600 --> 0:20:55.360
<v Speaker 3>I was single. I just do it with my man now.

0:20:55.640 --> 0:20:59.960
<v Speaker 3>But somehow there's a validation that women feel when it's

0:21:00.080 --> 0:21:01.439
<v Speaker 3>someone else is in a relationship.

0:21:01.600 --> 0:21:04.000
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I get invited to more like things in the house.

0:21:04.000 --> 0:21:06.520
<v Speaker 3>So you couldn't invite me to you and your husband's

0:21:06.520 --> 0:21:11.960
<v Speaker 3>house when I was single, No, because it's just their relationship.

0:21:12.000 --> 0:21:14.119
<v Speaker 2>Is this stamp of approval for everybody?

0:21:14.400 --> 0:21:17.720
<v Speaker 3>I see it in business, even like since I've started

0:21:17.760 --> 0:21:22.440
<v Speaker 3>new businesses. Just even the man in your life makes

0:21:22.520 --> 0:21:25.439
<v Speaker 3>other people feel like you're a more serious person. How

0:21:25.520 --> 0:21:28.760
<v Speaker 3>dare you be single? How dare you be enjoying having

0:21:28.760 --> 0:21:32.440
<v Speaker 3>fun being solo? Oh look at her again by herself

0:21:32.520 --> 0:21:33.040
<v Speaker 3>at the bar.

0:21:33.320 --> 0:21:34.320
<v Speaker 2>McK whatever.

0:21:34.560 --> 0:21:37.600
<v Speaker 1>Ah, bitch, I'll be having three boyfriends, and y'all don't

0:21:37.600 --> 0:21:38.399
<v Speaker 1>think i'd be serious.

0:21:38.440 --> 0:21:39.040
<v Speaker 2>Y'all don't like that.

0:21:39.160 --> 0:21:42.719
<v Speaker 3>I think no matter what relationships, it's just like here

0:21:42.840 --> 0:21:43.800
<v Speaker 3>she go again, y'all.

0:21:43.840 --> 0:21:47.640
<v Speaker 1>I've been single in five years, so I don't know.

0:21:48.600 --> 0:21:51.840
<v Speaker 1>I've been single since pre pandemic. But you have three boyfriends.

0:21:51.880 --> 0:21:52.720
<v Speaker 1>That's like having none.

0:21:52.880 --> 0:21:57.959
<v Speaker 2>No bitch around. I don't like, no one's gonna take

0:21:57.960 --> 0:22:00.000
<v Speaker 2>it serious. I'm just telling y'all with the serious news.

0:22:00.280 --> 0:22:03.919
<v Speaker 2>I have not been single since twenty nineteen. Thank you.

0:22:04.280 --> 0:22:06.359
<v Speaker 3>That is not a hot take. I really believe this.

0:22:06.880 --> 0:22:10.320
<v Speaker 3>If you're single or in an ethically non monogamous relationship,

0:22:10.359 --> 0:22:12.920
<v Speaker 3>people treat you the same, like, oh, shoot, it's a phase,

0:22:12.920 --> 0:22:13.639
<v Speaker 3>should get over it.

0:22:13.720 --> 0:22:15.280
<v Speaker 2>So you should still be getting treated the same.

0:22:22.320 --> 0:22:25.280
<v Speaker 1>I do want to ask get back getting back to

0:22:25.320 --> 0:22:27.880
<v Speaker 1>your story, Sarah, you've had three.

0:22:27.720 --> 0:22:31.360
<v Speaker 2>Rings, yeah, the first ring, yeah.

0:22:31.440 --> 0:22:33.240
<v Speaker 1>I want to go through that because maybe now that's

0:22:33.240 --> 0:22:35.040
<v Speaker 1>why you went straight from friend to marriage because of

0:22:35.119 --> 0:22:36.160
<v Speaker 1>the PTSD.

0:22:35.760 --> 0:22:36.160
<v Speaker 2>Of your lives.

0:22:36.240 --> 0:22:40.840
<v Speaker 1>Two engagements, but your first relationship, how old were you?

0:22:40.880 --> 0:22:44.840
<v Speaker 1>Can you walk us through navigating that first engagement at

0:22:44.880 --> 0:22:47.119
<v Speaker 1>a young age and also how you escaped the relationship.

0:22:47.200 --> 0:22:50.359
<v Speaker 3>Yes, so I was eighteen. We were together for two years.

0:22:51.200 --> 0:22:55.159
<v Speaker 4>We were engaged in that two years, and he was

0:22:55.200 --> 0:22:56.439
<v Speaker 4>a professional football player.

0:22:56.520 --> 0:22:59.280
<v Speaker 3>I was a professional cheerleader. We were the dream team.

0:22:59.440 --> 0:23:02.760
<v Speaker 4>We were so a doable and also low key because

0:23:03.119 --> 0:23:06.159
<v Speaker 4>the cheerleaders weren't allowed to date the players. But the

0:23:06.240 --> 0:23:09.960
<v Speaker 4>caveat is shout out to my mother. My mom used

0:23:09.960 --> 0:23:12.640
<v Speaker 4>to invite a lot of the black players to our

0:23:12.680 --> 0:23:16.000
<v Speaker 4>house and cook for them because I had brothers and

0:23:16.040 --> 0:23:18.000
<v Speaker 4>so she was like, this is like an American.

0:23:18.160 --> 0:23:19.480
<v Speaker 2>My mom is like anti Pam.

0:23:19.640 --> 0:23:23.160
<v Speaker 4>Everybody in the Yeah, everybody in the community knew my mom,

0:23:23.359 --> 0:23:26.119
<v Speaker 4>and he knew everybody. It was a very small almost

0:23:26.119 --> 0:23:28.160
<v Speaker 4>all the black people knew each other. We were at

0:23:28.160 --> 0:23:31.600
<v Speaker 4>the Caribbean Club every weekend doing a performance. I was

0:23:31.640 --> 0:23:34.320
<v Speaker 4>playing steel drums, I was in dance class and did

0:23:34.640 --> 0:23:37.080
<v Speaker 4>all of these So it wasn't weird for us to

0:23:37.080 --> 0:23:40.119
<v Speaker 4>have all these people over. And I actually used to

0:23:40.200 --> 0:23:42.919
<v Speaker 4>have a thing because my sister was. She's actually married

0:23:42.960 --> 0:23:44.960
<v Speaker 4>to the MVP of the CFL, and he played in

0:23:45.000 --> 0:23:46.080
<v Speaker 4>the league as well.

0:23:46.280 --> 0:23:49.960
<v Speaker 2>So the committee of the college foot just.

0:23:49.920 --> 0:23:52.240
<v Speaker 4>Like Canada's NFL got it. And then he also played

0:23:52.240 --> 0:23:55.960
<v Speaker 4>in the NFL. So his friends would come over with

0:23:56.080 --> 0:23:57.639
<v Speaker 4>him to the house. And I used to be like,

0:23:57.920 --> 0:24:00.960
<v Speaker 4>all these little wax football players think they somebody.

0:24:00.600 --> 0:24:02.600
<v Speaker 2>Because this was the thing. When you're back home.

0:24:02.840 --> 0:24:07.959
<v Speaker 4>The Saskatchewan rough Riders, they are there's an air that

0:24:08.000 --> 0:24:13.679
<v Speaker 4>they have and women throw themselves like they they running

0:24:13.720 --> 0:24:16.159
<v Speaker 4>through women like water down a stream.

0:24:16.280 --> 0:24:18.280
<v Speaker 2>Okay, it is they are, it is.

0:24:18.520 --> 0:24:22.359
<v Speaker 4>It's non stop, right, And so I was always like never,

0:24:22.640 --> 0:24:26.399
<v Speaker 4>like no, never, never, never, never never anyway.

0:24:26.320 --> 0:24:28.919
<v Speaker 1>Not She was saying never at sixteen seventeen, because you

0:24:28.920 --> 0:24:29.919
<v Speaker 1>got them at eighteen and.

0:24:30.960 --> 0:24:35.159
<v Speaker 4>They're all pleassure did And then it was crazy because

0:24:35.600 --> 0:24:38.040
<v Speaker 4>what I think, what you're referring to is he almost

0:24:38.040 --> 0:24:38.679
<v Speaker 4>paralyzed me.

0:24:38.960 --> 0:24:40.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I would yeah up.

0:24:40.680 --> 0:24:45.000
<v Speaker 4>And it only happened one time. Really, it only happened

0:24:45.000 --> 0:24:45.520
<v Speaker 4>one time.

0:24:46.200 --> 0:24:50.440
<v Speaker 1>And to be honest, how did it only because men suck?

0:24:51.080 --> 0:24:53.520
<v Speaker 1>Women suck, especially in the comments, and so men would

0:24:53.520 --> 0:24:54.920
<v Speaker 1>be like, well, what did you do to make them

0:24:54.960 --> 0:24:55.240
<v Speaker 1>do that?

0:24:55.359 --> 0:24:56.359
<v Speaker 2>And women want to know.

0:24:56.320 --> 0:24:59.080
<v Speaker 1>Like how did it get to that point, especially because

0:24:59.240 --> 0:25:01.679
<v Speaker 1>there were no sign right and luckily for you you

0:25:01.720 --> 0:25:04.280
<v Speaker 1>didn't stay after that one time, But what how did

0:25:04.320 --> 0:25:04.760
<v Speaker 1>you get there?

0:25:04.840 --> 0:25:07.639
<v Speaker 4>How did that happen? To this day, I still don't know.

0:25:07.800 --> 0:25:09.879
<v Speaker 4>I think he snapped, that's what my mother says. But

0:25:09.960 --> 0:25:14.000
<v Speaker 4>long story short, like an eighteen year old immature woman,

0:25:14.400 --> 0:25:18.440
<v Speaker 4>we were fighting and we had broke up. Put him out,

0:25:18.600 --> 0:25:20.760
<v Speaker 4>you go do whatever you gonna do, whatever, whatever, But

0:25:20.800 --> 0:25:21.920
<v Speaker 4>we were still sleeping together.

0:25:22.000 --> 0:25:23.320
<v Speaker 2>We were still dealing with each other.

0:25:23.840 --> 0:25:27.840
<v Speaker 4>And so I used to work for this company that

0:25:27.920 --> 0:25:31.960
<v Speaker 4>we got cars for, so I would teach kids traffic

0:25:32.000 --> 0:25:33.960
<v Speaker 4>safety and show parents how to correctly and sell car seats.

0:25:33.960 --> 0:25:35.760
<v Speaker 4>And so I'd travel all over the province in the

0:25:35.840 --> 0:25:39.080
<v Speaker 4>work car with like stickers on it and show do that.

0:25:39.480 --> 0:25:40.160
<v Speaker 2>So while I was.

0:25:40.119 --> 0:25:43.760
<v Speaker 4>Gone, he would drive my car, okay, And so it's

0:25:43.840 --> 0:25:47.159
<v Speaker 4>crazy because it was Saturday and he knew that on

0:25:47.200 --> 0:25:49.840
<v Speaker 4>this Saturday, I'm coming to pick up my car. And

0:25:49.880 --> 0:25:51.480
<v Speaker 4>so I called and I said, hey, I'm on the way,

0:25:51.480 --> 0:25:53.000
<v Speaker 4>and he's like, no, don't come over right now.

0:25:53.359 --> 0:25:54.760
<v Speaker 2>And I'm me being me.

0:25:55.000 --> 0:25:59.760
<v Speaker 4>First of all, yes over there, and I'm like why

0:25:59.800 --> 0:26:00.640
<v Speaker 4>do you company?

0:26:01.080 --> 0:26:02.760
<v Speaker 2>And he was like, no, I don't have company.

0:26:02.840 --> 0:26:04.359
<v Speaker 4>So for me, I'm like, that don't make no sense,

0:26:04.440 --> 0:26:07.000
<v Speaker 4>Like what are you talking about if I'm on the way,

0:26:07.160 --> 0:26:11.400
<v Speaker 4>Like I'm currently on the way to you. So long

0:26:11.440 --> 0:26:14.000
<v Speaker 4>story short, I get to the apartment, I go up

0:26:14.040 --> 0:26:15.840
<v Speaker 4>on the stairs because you had to use the fob

0:26:15.880 --> 0:26:18.000
<v Speaker 4>to get into the elevator, but at that time you

0:26:18.040 --> 0:26:21.080
<v Speaker 4>could still work the stairway, yea. So I go up

0:26:21.080 --> 0:26:23.399
<v Speaker 4>the stairs and when I get there, he's talking to

0:26:23.440 --> 0:26:25.760
<v Speaker 4>me on the phone in the hallway and I'm like,

0:26:26.119 --> 0:26:28.560
<v Speaker 4>why are you in the hallway. Let's go inside. So

0:26:28.640 --> 0:26:31.919
<v Speaker 4>I go to open the door. The door's locked, and

0:26:32.000 --> 0:26:34.280
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, what's going on? And when I tell you

0:26:34.320 --> 0:26:36.720
<v Speaker 4>this man, this is the first part of it happened,

0:26:37.240 --> 0:26:40.920
<v Speaker 4>he like he snapped, He got in my face, like

0:26:40.960 --> 0:26:42.960
<v Speaker 4>I was some trick on the street that owed him money,

0:26:42.960 --> 0:26:44.880
<v Speaker 4>Like it was crazy. And I used to do this

0:26:44.880 --> 0:26:46.760
<v Speaker 4>thing with people where I would like touch their face

0:26:46.800 --> 0:26:49.000
<v Speaker 4>and be like, oh my god, like they're so beautiful,

0:26:49.160 --> 0:26:50.920
<v Speaker 4>just looking like I always used to have a thing.

0:26:50.960 --> 0:26:52.720
<v Speaker 4>And I said his name and I was like hey,

0:26:53.119 --> 0:26:55.480
<v Speaker 4>and he hit me in my face. When he hit

0:26:55.520 --> 0:26:58.560
<v Speaker 4>me in my face, I saw black. All I saw

0:26:58.720 --> 0:27:00.280
<v Speaker 4>was red. When I tell you and I to be

0:27:00.320 --> 0:27:03.760
<v Speaker 4>suited and beuted, heels on all the time, makeup done,

0:27:03.920 --> 0:27:07.080
<v Speaker 4>hair done, everything, I took off my heels and I

0:27:07.280 --> 0:27:09.879
<v Speaker 4>just started screaming. Now we're in the hallway, right right,

0:27:09.960 --> 0:27:12.400
<v Speaker 4>the hallway, So people could hear it. Oh, I'm sure

0:27:12.440 --> 0:27:14.320
<v Speaker 4>they had to them. There's no way they couldn't because

0:27:14.359 --> 0:27:19.439
<v Speaker 4>all I was screaming was you're kind of that's I

0:27:19.480 --> 0:27:22.400
<v Speaker 4>couldn't believe what was happening, right, So when I kind

0:27:22.400 --> 0:27:25.240
<v Speaker 4>of came back to real life, I said, open this

0:27:25.320 --> 0:27:28.160
<v Speaker 4>door and taking my stuff. I cussed at the time,

0:27:28.280 --> 0:27:30.480
<v Speaker 4>cussed a lot, playing a lot of that at that time.

0:27:30.840 --> 0:27:33.560
<v Speaker 4>I'm taking my stuff and I'm going. And so he says,

0:27:33.760 --> 0:27:37.639
<v Speaker 4>Alicia opened the door. Now, now he called out another

0:27:37.800 --> 0:27:40.399
<v Speaker 4>woman on the other side of the dog, who was

0:27:40.440 --> 0:27:42.880
<v Speaker 4>my friend. By the way, Oh, we gotta kill down.

0:27:43.040 --> 0:27:45.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah wait a second, yeah, he was, Yeah, he had

0:27:45.640 --> 0:27:46.800
<v Speaker 1>your friend in his house.

0:27:46.880 --> 0:27:49.560
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, so this is the thing, he said. She was

0:27:49.600 --> 0:27:51.000
<v Speaker 4>just twisting my hair because.

0:27:50.800 --> 0:27:51.440
<v Speaker 2>He had dreads.

0:27:51.680 --> 0:27:55.000
<v Speaker 4>So I'm like, oh, okay, bet, no problem, it's all good,

0:27:55.040 --> 0:27:55.600
<v Speaker 4>it's all cool.

0:27:55.640 --> 0:27:55.920
<v Speaker 2>Whatever.

0:27:55.960 --> 0:27:58.200
<v Speaker 4>So I go inside and it was a normal apartment,

0:27:58.240 --> 0:28:01.720
<v Speaker 4>one bedroom apartment. You walk in, you know, the TV's

0:28:01.760 --> 0:28:03.960
<v Speaker 4>on that side, the kitchens right here, bedroom is right there.

0:28:04.160 --> 0:28:06.159
<v Speaker 4>I'd be lined straight to the bedroom because I know

0:28:06.320 --> 0:28:08.600
<v Speaker 4>that the night sand is probably where my keys are at.

0:28:08.800 --> 0:28:10.760
<v Speaker 4>When I go to get my keys off of the

0:28:10.880 --> 0:28:13.720
<v Speaker 4>night stand, there's bengals.

0:28:13.720 --> 0:28:19.440
<v Speaker 2>Not her. Oh now she's the jewelry two. She's sitting

0:28:19.480 --> 0:28:21.840
<v Speaker 2>on the couch and she knows. Wait, but the Bengals

0:28:21.880 --> 0:28:22.640
<v Speaker 2>are in the bedroom.

0:28:22.720 --> 0:28:24.840
<v Speaker 4>But the Bengals are in the you know you can't

0:28:24.920 --> 0:28:29.200
<v Speaker 4>know already know, So I'm I'm talking smack from the bedroom.

0:28:29.280 --> 0:28:32.159
<v Speaker 4>Oh what are these bengals doing right here? She was

0:28:32.200 --> 0:28:34.840
<v Speaker 4>only doing your hair if she just got here this morning.

0:28:35.080 --> 0:28:37.600
<v Speaker 4>So this man comes into the room, and then he

0:28:37.720 --> 0:28:42.160
<v Speaker 4>snapped again. Now he's a defensive defensive lineman.

0:28:42.280 --> 0:28:44.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm not great with this is not a sports podcast. Yes, okay, great.

0:28:46.240 --> 0:28:49.200
<v Speaker 3>He's two hundred and fifty pounds of solid muscle.

0:28:49.480 --> 0:28:50.240
<v Speaker 2>He is strong.

0:28:50.320 --> 0:28:54.360
<v Speaker 4>He's six foot I don't know, probably two and strong

0:28:54.440 --> 0:28:58.600
<v Speaker 4>as hell. Straight, just ripped everything, tackles me onto the

0:28:58.640 --> 0:29:02.280
<v Speaker 4>bed and starts like kind of with his arm on

0:29:02.360 --> 0:29:04.800
<v Speaker 4>my neck, trying to rip the keys out of my hand.

0:29:04.880 --> 0:29:06.840
<v Speaker 4>I still have scars on my hands from this day

0:29:06.920 --> 0:29:09.400
<v Speaker 4>from where he was trying to get the keys out. Anyway,

0:29:09.560 --> 0:29:12.760
<v Speaker 4>I end up doing all of this, getting out, kicking him,

0:29:12.800 --> 0:29:13.520
<v Speaker 4>falling off the.

0:29:13.480 --> 0:29:15.760
<v Speaker 3>Back of the bed. This is where he grabs my legs.

0:29:15.800 --> 0:29:19.360
<v Speaker 4>He mocked me, like with my feet, like was throwing

0:29:19.400 --> 0:29:23.600
<v Speaker 4>me up against everything in this moment. I finally when

0:29:23.640 --> 0:29:27.520
<v Speaker 4>he like slipped a leg, I kicked him in his face.

0:29:27.880 --> 0:29:29.920
<v Speaker 2>Pretty sure, I'm on the ground, he's on top of me.

0:29:30.000 --> 0:29:31.440
<v Speaker 2>I kick him. Maybe I didn't get his face. I

0:29:31.440 --> 0:29:33.400
<v Speaker 2>don't know what I can. I just kicked right now.

0:29:33.440 --> 0:29:35.280
<v Speaker 4>This is the stupid part for me, And this is

0:29:35.320 --> 0:29:37.560
<v Speaker 4>also where I got the most jacked up. That was

0:29:37.600 --> 0:29:40.320
<v Speaker 4>the worst part of why my body is where my

0:29:40.360 --> 0:29:45.040
<v Speaker 4>body is today. But instead of running with the keys,

0:29:45.760 --> 0:29:49.960
<v Speaker 4>what I did was and Alicia is she's not even helping.

0:29:50.080 --> 0:29:50.400
<v Speaker 2>She's not.

0:29:50.520 --> 0:29:53.320
<v Speaker 4>Oh, while I'm getting dragged and mocked on the floor,

0:29:53.400 --> 0:29:55.760
<v Speaker 4>she comes and peeks in the room and goes back

0:29:55.800 --> 0:29:59.760
<v Speaker 4>into the living room. So then instead of me leaving,

0:29:59.760 --> 0:30:02.440
<v Speaker 4>which is where I went wrong, I own it accountability,

0:30:02.520 --> 0:30:04.240
<v Speaker 4>I own it. I shouldn't ever went there. I knew

0:30:04.320 --> 0:30:07.680
<v Speaker 4>he had company he had but you were young, Yes,

0:30:07.760 --> 0:30:10.520
<v Speaker 4>I was young. But also, I mean, I'm grateful because

0:30:10.560 --> 0:30:12.280
<v Speaker 4>in my in my experience, I also felt like that

0:30:12.360 --> 0:30:16.040
<v Speaker 4>was God telling me, not him, this ain't for you,

0:30:16.320 --> 0:30:17.360
<v Speaker 4>This isn't for you.

0:30:17.360 --> 0:30:17.560
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:30:17.800 --> 0:30:20.240
<v Speaker 4>So long a story short, I exit, I go into

0:30:20.240 --> 0:30:21.840
<v Speaker 4>the living room. So now I'm in the living room

0:30:21.840 --> 0:30:23.800
<v Speaker 4>and he had a big thing with electronics. He had

0:30:23.800 --> 0:30:25.640
<v Speaker 4>a big TV right here. And now I'm on the

0:30:25.680 --> 0:30:28.800
<v Speaker 4>opposite side, you know what I mean. So I'm there's

0:30:28.880 --> 0:30:32.800
<v Speaker 4>like a window behind me, couches right here, little couch

0:30:32.880 --> 0:30:35.280
<v Speaker 4>right there, TV right here, and he had a big

0:30:35.320 --> 0:30:38.200
<v Speaker 4>thing with electronics. And I said, if you take what,

0:30:38.360 --> 0:30:41.000
<v Speaker 4>I pick up his computer and I'm like, there's blood

0:30:41.040 --> 0:30:43.560
<v Speaker 4>dripping down my face. I'm jacked up, and I say,

0:30:43.600 --> 0:30:45.800
<v Speaker 4>if you take one step towards me, I swear to

0:30:45.800 --> 0:30:48.520
<v Speaker 4>God I'll smash it. And he bum rushes me. So

0:30:48.560 --> 0:30:50.520
<v Speaker 4>I threw his computer on the ground. He picks me up,

0:30:50.520 --> 0:30:52.960
<v Speaker 4>he throws me on the couch and he starts shaking me.

0:30:53.040 --> 0:30:54.600
<v Speaker 4>While I'm on the couch, He's on top of me

0:30:54.960 --> 0:30:58.160
<v Speaker 4>and he's screaming what the fuck like over and over

0:30:58.240 --> 0:31:01.160
<v Speaker 4>and over again. And finally, Alisha, who is sitting right

0:31:01.200 --> 0:31:03.600
<v Speaker 4>there while I'm right here on this couch. She says

0:31:04.040 --> 0:31:08.800
<v Speaker 4>his name, and then and then he like snapped out

0:31:08.800 --> 0:31:12.640
<v Speaker 4>of it, and he he like kind of sat a

0:31:12.680 --> 0:31:14.560
<v Speaker 4>little bit on my legs, but not all the way,

0:31:15.000 --> 0:31:19.840
<v Speaker 4>and he started crying in his hands, and I slunk

0:31:19.920 --> 0:31:24.160
<v Speaker 4>off of the couch and I left, and I remember

0:31:24.200 --> 0:31:26.520
<v Speaker 4>calling my mom and.

0:31:26.480 --> 0:31:28.080
<v Speaker 2>I was so hysterical.

0:31:28.320 --> 0:31:31.280
<v Speaker 4>I was like, like, I don't I don't even feel

0:31:31.280 --> 0:31:32.840
<v Speaker 4>like this is a wound for me, but I feel

0:31:32.840 --> 0:31:35.440
<v Speaker 4>like like I'm I'm emotional about it because I remember

0:31:35.520 --> 0:31:37.720
<v Speaker 4>my mom's hysteria.

0:31:37.880 --> 0:31:40.920
<v Speaker 2>Like my mom was like, what is wrong? Like what

0:31:41.040 --> 0:31:41.400
<v Speaker 2>is like?

0:31:41.440 --> 0:31:43.600
<v Speaker 4>I don't under to this day, I don't even think

0:31:43.640 --> 0:31:45.640
<v Speaker 4>my dad knows, because my dad would be in prison.

0:31:45.840 --> 0:31:48.360
<v Speaker 4>He does not play about me, any of his kids.

0:31:48.600 --> 0:31:51.600
<v Speaker 4>He does not play about me. And I made her

0:31:51.600 --> 0:31:53.160
<v Speaker 4>swear to see because you can't. I just kept saying,

0:31:53.200 --> 0:31:54.640
<v Speaker 4>you can't kill that. I think she must have thought

0:31:54.640 --> 0:31:57.760
<v Speaker 4>I was gonna be I killed someone, I you know whatever.

0:31:59.680 --> 0:32:01.920
<v Speaker 4>But yeah, that was a lot. And then I didn't

0:32:01.960 --> 0:32:04.680
<v Speaker 4>tell anybody. And shortly after that's when I moved to La.

0:32:05.120 --> 0:32:09.440
<v Speaker 4>I had gotten accepted into a conservatory for acting, and

0:32:09.800 --> 0:32:12.760
<v Speaker 4>that was one of the reasons why I was like,

0:32:12.880 --> 0:32:13.640
<v Speaker 4>I can't do it.

0:32:13.800 --> 0:32:15.440
<v Speaker 2>And when I tell you for months, did you talk

0:32:15.480 --> 0:32:16.120
<v Speaker 2>to him after that?

0:32:16.200 --> 0:32:19.240
<v Speaker 4>No, okay, I ain't spoken to him since. When I

0:32:19.280 --> 0:32:22.440
<v Speaker 4>tell you it hurt to sleep, it hurt to lay

0:32:22.480 --> 0:32:25.600
<v Speaker 4>down flat on my back. I went to the doctor.

0:32:25.680 --> 0:32:28.440
<v Speaker 4>I told him I slipped and I fell down the stairs.

0:32:28.880 --> 0:32:30.920
<v Speaker 4>Because at that time I didn't want to say, oh

0:32:30.920 --> 0:32:34.640
<v Speaker 4>my God, like me, you getting emotional about your mom

0:32:35.000 --> 0:32:37.239
<v Speaker 4>is taking me back. The only time that man ever

0:32:37.280 --> 0:32:42.680
<v Speaker 4>hit me was same Adrian eighteen twenty. And the memory

0:32:42.760 --> 0:32:45.000
<v Speaker 4>I had that really made me lave him was my

0:32:45.080 --> 0:32:48.360
<v Speaker 4>mom begging him to not hit me anymore. It's just

0:32:48.440 --> 0:32:52.880
<v Speaker 4>something about her desperation, yes that, I was like. She

0:32:53.040 --> 0:32:56.440
<v Speaker 4>also didn't know, so I never told her he was

0:32:56.480 --> 0:33:00.960
<v Speaker 4>throwing a party at his house. And whenever she saw

0:33:01.000 --> 0:33:04.520
<v Speaker 4>in me how fearful I looked. She pulled him in

0:33:04.560 --> 0:33:07.040
<v Speaker 4>the laundry room and she pulled me in there too,

0:33:07.800 --> 0:33:11.440
<v Speaker 4>and she was like she got on her knees and

0:33:11.520 --> 0:33:14.280
<v Speaker 4>I was like, please, please, anything, please come. My mom

0:33:14.400 --> 0:33:16.000
<v Speaker 4>knew I didn't want to come back home. My family

0:33:16.040 --> 0:33:18.040
<v Speaker 4>was going through financial hardship at the time. He was

0:33:18.080 --> 0:33:20.480
<v Speaker 4>taking care of me. She was like, she'll never leave you.

0:33:20.840 --> 0:33:23.200
<v Speaker 4>She's never gonna leave you. Just please don't hear my daughter. Please,

0:33:23.240 --> 0:33:24.920
<v Speaker 4>She didn't grow up like this. Her father is a

0:33:24.960 --> 0:33:27.880
<v Speaker 4>good man. She's never even seen anything like this. I

0:33:27.920 --> 0:33:30.520
<v Speaker 4>grew up like this. And she was like, I can't

0:33:30.800 --> 0:33:32.760
<v Speaker 4>I can't watch it happen again. And my mom's crying

0:33:32.760 --> 0:33:34.760
<v Speaker 4>and he's like, get up, blah blah blah blah. And

0:33:34.800 --> 0:33:36.680
<v Speaker 4>he's like talking to my mom crazy, and I'm getting

0:33:36.680 --> 0:33:39.120
<v Speaker 4>scared because I'm scared what if I say something, if

0:33:39.160 --> 0:33:40.920
<v Speaker 4>he gonna hite me in front of my mom? And

0:33:41.000 --> 0:33:42.760
<v Speaker 4>shortly after that, I don't think I stayed with him

0:33:42.800 --> 0:33:47.120
<v Speaker 4>a month after. But seeing and feeling.

0:33:46.800 --> 0:33:50.520
<v Speaker 3>Your mom's love through a moment where you're going through it,

0:33:50.680 --> 0:33:52.960
<v Speaker 3>think about now we're adults where we could have kids, right,

0:33:53.080 --> 0:33:57.520
<v Speaker 3>and if we had oh, y'all could have kids.

0:33:57.560 --> 0:33:59.520
<v Speaker 2>We could at this age to.

0:33:59.520 --> 0:34:03.080
<v Speaker 3>Know you could call you and say, Mommy, someone hit me. Yeah,

0:34:03.160 --> 0:34:05.280
<v Speaker 3>it's just like it's unforgettable.

0:34:05.520 --> 0:34:06.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:34:06.040 --> 0:34:09.719
<v Speaker 3>It's actually the reason I think now when I get

0:34:09.719 --> 0:34:14.000
<v Speaker 3>an argument with men, oh, it's like complete shutdown. It's

0:34:14.000 --> 0:34:16.040
<v Speaker 3>almost something I had to work through in therapy. I

0:34:16.080 --> 0:34:18.040
<v Speaker 3>get nasty, what the fuck are you going to do

0:34:18.080 --> 0:34:19.480
<v Speaker 3>to me. I do think I'm saying shit like that.

0:34:19.520 --> 0:34:22.120
<v Speaker 1>I do think it's interesting that when you went to

0:34:22.160 --> 0:34:26.319
<v Speaker 1>the hospital as a as a woman, it was like

0:34:26.360 --> 0:34:27.920
<v Speaker 1>a lot of people assume, like you don't want the

0:34:27.960 --> 0:34:30.000
<v Speaker 1>man to get in trouble and all that, but you

0:34:30.040 --> 0:34:33.160
<v Speaker 1>were embarrassed that you had that, that you had that experience.

0:34:33.160 --> 0:34:35.600
<v Speaker 4>I couldn't believe that that had happened to me. I

0:34:35.680 --> 0:34:38.200
<v Speaker 4>literally like, I don't come from that. I don't know

0:34:38.239 --> 0:34:42.120
<v Speaker 4>anything about that. And like I got good grades, I

0:34:42.400 --> 0:34:45.960
<v Speaker 4>got accepted into a conservatory, you know, coming up in

0:34:45.719 --> 0:34:48.640
<v Speaker 4>the in like six months away, I had the opportunity

0:34:48.680 --> 0:34:51.440
<v Speaker 4>to move to La Like in my mind, I was

0:34:51.520 --> 0:34:55.319
<v Speaker 4>like I was so sharp, Like I was the kid

0:34:55.360 --> 0:34:57.320
<v Speaker 4>in school that would go to my teacher before something

0:34:57.440 --> 0:34:59.239
<v Speaker 4>was due and be like is this an a? And

0:34:59.280 --> 0:35:01.560
<v Speaker 4>if they told me know, I would fix it. Like

0:35:02.040 --> 0:35:05.719
<v Speaker 4>I was the person where I wasn't done dancing until

0:35:05.719 --> 0:35:07.640
<v Speaker 4>my feet would bleed, Like I had to get it

0:35:07.719 --> 0:35:10.440
<v Speaker 4>right so to in my mind.

0:35:11.560 --> 0:35:13.919
<v Speaker 2>Your man right to get lived.

0:35:15.520 --> 0:35:18.359
<v Speaker 4>And also if you fight, you're broken. I also had

0:35:18.400 --> 0:35:21.120
<v Speaker 4>that story because of my parents. So now I'm doing

0:35:21.200 --> 0:35:24.799
<v Speaker 4>everything wrong. There's no way that I was about to

0:35:24.880 --> 0:35:26.759
<v Speaker 4>claim how wrong I was.

0:35:26.840 --> 0:35:29.640
<v Speaker 2>It was the most humiliating thing for me in the.

0:35:29.560 --> 0:35:32.400
<v Speaker 4>History of ever, you know, And so I am grateful

0:35:32.640 --> 0:35:36.319
<v Speaker 4>because I do also strongly feel like God has a

0:35:36.360 --> 0:35:39.440
<v Speaker 4>way of keeping you where he wants you to be.

0:35:40.040 --> 0:35:42.160
<v Speaker 3>And I know, like I know, like I know, I

0:35:42.200 --> 0:35:44.040
<v Speaker 3>know we all have a calling on our life, but

0:35:44.080 --> 0:35:44.920
<v Speaker 3>I know mine.

0:35:44.719 --> 0:35:48.680
<v Speaker 4>Is big because He's told me, like, I'm so one

0:35:48.719 --> 0:35:51.560
<v Speaker 4>thousand percent crystal clear on that. And had I gone

0:35:51.600 --> 0:35:55.520
<v Speaker 4>down this realm, I have literally helped thousands of people

0:35:55.600 --> 0:35:58.960
<v Speaker 4>make six and seven figures. I have literally helped thousands

0:35:59.000 --> 0:36:00.919
<v Speaker 4>of women get out of their own way and create

0:36:00.960 --> 0:36:03.600
<v Speaker 4>their own transformation of actual self love.

0:36:03.880 --> 0:36:04.080
<v Speaker 2>I have.

0:36:04.480 --> 0:36:08.680
<v Speaker 4>There's so many things that I have done as an accolade.

0:36:08.719 --> 0:36:11.520
<v Speaker 4>Who cares about an accolade? Who are you in real life?

0:36:11.840 --> 0:36:12.279
<v Speaker 2>How are you?

0:36:12.360 --> 0:36:14.200
<v Speaker 4>How do you treat people in real life? What's your

0:36:14.239 --> 0:36:16.719
<v Speaker 4>heart like in real life? Like when these cameras are off?

0:36:16.800 --> 0:36:19.520
<v Speaker 4>How are you as a person in real life? And

0:36:19.560 --> 0:36:22.080
<v Speaker 4>those are the things about me that I take pride.

0:36:22.080 --> 0:36:23.640
<v Speaker 4>And I'm not the most beautiful girl in the world.

0:36:23.760 --> 0:36:26.160
<v Speaker 4>And when we were talking about Brock, you know what,

0:36:26.239 --> 0:36:28.040
<v Speaker 4>he cheatd this, that and the other. I don't think

0:36:28.040 --> 0:36:29.759
<v Speaker 4>Brock with Chee because I don't think Brock is a cheater.

0:36:29.960 --> 0:36:31.680
<v Speaker 4>I think it Brock wanted to have another woman, he'd

0:36:31.719 --> 0:36:34.000
<v Speaker 4>be like, baby, we gotta talk, And that's not cheating.

0:36:34.040 --> 0:36:36.000
<v Speaker 3>That's a decision that we both could make together.

0:36:36.120 --> 0:36:36.680
<v Speaker 2>Potentially.

0:36:36.719 --> 0:36:38.560
<v Speaker 4>I don't even think that that's gonna happen because I think,

0:36:38.760 --> 0:36:42.120
<v Speaker 4>a man, I'm too sayful, such a nice lady.

0:36:42.239 --> 0:36:44.480
<v Speaker 2>What is that for? These fucking hot takes? Is this

0:36:44.680 --> 0:36:50.040
<v Speaker 2>the what you mean? So this is a hot yeah?

0:36:50.040 --> 0:36:54.400
<v Speaker 4>I know how many times like fucking crazy like and

0:36:54.560 --> 0:36:56.080
<v Speaker 4>it's just funny because they really.

0:36:56.000 --> 0:36:58.000
<v Speaker 3>Does show you the internet of the Internet, and I'm like,

0:36:58.520 --> 0:36:59.239
<v Speaker 3>this is the same.

0:36:59.640 --> 0:37:01.919
<v Speaker 2>This is I don't get what is the hot take

0:37:01.960 --> 0:37:11.239
<v Speaker 2>that you disagree with? I'll give me one to me.

0:37:11.320 --> 0:37:15.120
<v Speaker 1>It's interesting, with you being so traditional, with you being

0:37:15.239 --> 0:37:19.279
<v Speaker 1>so so open, you genuinely think that your partner he

0:37:19.360 --> 0:37:22.200
<v Speaker 1>sees something, if he wants another woman, that he's gonna

0:37:22.239 --> 0:37:23.319
<v Speaker 1>come to you first about it.

0:37:23.400 --> 0:37:26.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't and say, hey, I want I want to

0:37:26.040 --> 0:37:26.359
<v Speaker 2>do this.

0:37:26.840 --> 0:37:28.800
<v Speaker 3>It's like you're you saying that's just your your partner

0:37:28.800 --> 0:37:29.520
<v Speaker 3>you believe.

0:37:29.640 --> 0:37:31.480
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I would believe. I know my partner would come

0:37:31.480 --> 0:37:31.640
<v Speaker 2>to me.

0:37:31.680 --> 0:37:34.960
<v Speaker 4>I don't because this is and I don't think that

0:37:35.040 --> 0:37:37.520
<v Speaker 4>it would be like damn that that girl's bad. Like

0:37:37.920 --> 0:37:42.719
<v Speaker 4>Brock doesn't operate like that. He's strategic, he's logistical. Everything

0:37:42.760 --> 0:37:45.040
<v Speaker 4>has to make sense for him. So he's not gonna

0:37:45.040 --> 0:37:47.200
<v Speaker 4>see some batty on the street that lady could have HIV.

0:37:47.600 --> 0:37:48.800
<v Speaker 4>That's he's that's not happening.

0:37:48.800 --> 0:37:51.359
<v Speaker 2>But that thought that you have though, okay, my bad.

0:37:51.400 --> 0:37:52.480
<v Speaker 2>I disagree.

0:37:53.400 --> 0:37:56.840
<v Speaker 3>I think that at your highest peak of happiness, that's true.

0:37:57.360 --> 0:37:58.480
<v Speaker 2>I think people change.

0:37:58.880 --> 0:38:03.560
<v Speaker 3>I agree, and I think that sometimes men confuse love

0:38:03.560 --> 0:38:05.920
<v Speaker 3>and line knowing that it could hurt you.

0:38:06.160 --> 0:38:08.520
<v Speaker 4>Yes, now this is the caveat to that. For me,

0:38:09.120 --> 0:38:13.520
<v Speaker 4>my deepest core value openness and honesty. So for you

0:38:13.560 --> 0:38:16.560
<v Speaker 4>to say that too, girl, No, no, you got me.

0:38:16.880 --> 0:38:17.200
<v Speaker 2>No. No.

0:38:17.360 --> 0:38:19.319
<v Speaker 4>If you lie to meat, you know what you're doing.

0:38:19.560 --> 0:38:20.680
<v Speaker 4>I will never be the same.

0:38:21.000 --> 0:38:21.160
<v Speaker 2>Now.

0:38:21.160 --> 0:38:23.160
<v Speaker 4>I don't believe in divorce. He gonna have to divorce

0:38:23.200 --> 0:38:25.520
<v Speaker 4>me if we ever got a divorce. Really, it's not

0:38:25.800 --> 0:38:27.920
<v Speaker 4>on the table for me.

0:38:28.200 --> 0:38:31.120
<v Speaker 2>He's just not. I'm thirty seven, thirty.

0:38:31.120 --> 0:38:33.560
<v Speaker 3>Knowing that we've all dated pieces of shit.

0:38:33.719 --> 0:38:37.600
<v Speaker 2>Piece is a shit girl. We knew how deceitful men.

0:38:37.520 --> 0:38:40.200
<v Speaker 1>Can be, and we know that the hot take on

0:38:40.239 --> 0:38:43.480
<v Speaker 1>the internet is that a man will will lie or

0:38:43.520 --> 0:38:46.080
<v Speaker 1>deceive you because they love you so much they don't

0:38:46.080 --> 0:38:48.200
<v Speaker 1>want to hurt you, even if they know the actions

0:38:48.200 --> 0:38:49.839
<v Speaker 1>that they're doing that are going to hurt.

0:38:50.000 --> 0:38:52.879
<v Speaker 4>No, that's a man with no integrity. I didn't choose

0:38:52.880 --> 0:38:55.160
<v Speaker 4>a man with no integrity. And this is the thing too,

0:38:55.360 --> 0:38:57.880
<v Speaker 4>my man knows what he got. I have a unicorn.

0:38:57.920 --> 0:39:00.479
<v Speaker 4>I'm very aware of that. And I'm not saying most

0:39:00.520 --> 0:39:03.239
<v Speaker 4>men don't cheat, because I think most men with options

0:39:03.400 --> 0:39:06.120
<v Speaker 4>will absolutely cheat. I think there are girls right now

0:39:06.200 --> 0:39:11.719
<v Speaker 4>so mad that we're married because he situation shipped everybody, everybody.

0:39:11.800 --> 0:39:13.200
<v Speaker 2>And I don't want.

0:39:13.080 --> 0:39:17.560
<v Speaker 3>To debate this because I'm never gonna say someone's like, yeah,

0:39:17.880 --> 0:39:19.719
<v Speaker 3>that's what's hard to debate. It's very it to me

0:39:20.560 --> 0:39:23.400
<v Speaker 3>nasty to be like you if there's someone watching right

0:39:23.440 --> 0:39:27.480
<v Speaker 3>now that's like, she don't know. Yeah, And I actually disagree,

0:39:27.520 --> 0:39:30.120
<v Speaker 3>Like I think people do it to my boyfriend all

0:39:30.120 --> 0:39:30.399
<v Speaker 3>the time.

0:39:30.520 --> 0:39:31.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, right.

0:39:31.320 --> 0:39:34.680
<v Speaker 3>But what I will say, though, is the way that

0:39:34.719 --> 0:39:37.640
<v Speaker 3>you feel about him. I feel like I've seen it

0:39:37.640 --> 0:39:41.040
<v Speaker 3>in another woman, and I don't know if integrity to

0:39:41.160 --> 0:39:44.719
<v Speaker 3>me equates to sexuality. Like I tell you what I

0:39:44.760 --> 0:39:48.839
<v Speaker 3>think integrity is. To me, it's like the idea that

0:39:49.440 --> 0:39:50.960
<v Speaker 3>he'd leave you when you're.

0:39:50.840 --> 0:39:52.239
<v Speaker 2>Sick, down and out.

0:39:52.480 --> 0:39:54.760
<v Speaker 3>Let's say you've got in a horrible accident and you change,

0:39:54.840 --> 0:39:57.000
<v Speaker 3>your beauty changes and.

0:39:56.920 --> 0:39:58.040
<v Speaker 2>He would leave you.

0:39:58.120 --> 0:40:00.400
<v Speaker 3>Or if you had children and he decided to not

0:40:00.440 --> 0:40:02.120
<v Speaker 3>be the man that you thought he was, that's he

0:40:02.200 --> 0:40:06.520
<v Speaker 3>is integrity. Sexuality is a moment. Yeah, and it's a moment.

0:40:07.719 --> 0:40:08.279
<v Speaker 2>I believe that.

0:40:08.360 --> 0:40:12.480
<v Speaker 3>Okay, I believe that the most loyal man, I believe

0:40:12.560 --> 0:40:15.160
<v Speaker 3>we can have a moment. I do, and I and

0:40:15.200 --> 0:40:22.959
<v Speaker 3>that's why I can be I'm.

0:40:19.880 --> 0:40:23.600
<v Speaker 1>Not saying you right now are giving that You're saying

0:40:23.680 --> 0:40:27.160
<v Speaker 1>sexuality is a moment, and so a man can't just.

0:40:27.120 --> 0:40:28.839
<v Speaker 2>Fall into Sexuality is such a moment.

0:40:28.840 --> 0:40:31.719
<v Speaker 3>To me, that is why I don't care about sex

0:40:31.760 --> 0:40:32.960
<v Speaker 3>with other people because me neither.

0:40:32.960 --> 0:40:33.120
<v Speaker 2>But I.

0:40:35.640 --> 0:40:38.600
<v Speaker 4>So I think I think with you, I understand if

0:40:38.640 --> 0:40:41.200
<v Speaker 4>you are single and you know who you chose, and

0:40:41.239 --> 0:40:44.360
<v Speaker 4>that's an integrity for you, then what you're saying makes sense.

0:40:44.719 --> 0:40:49.719
<v Speaker 4>But for me and in an our our relationship, it

0:40:49.800 --> 0:40:52.919
<v Speaker 4>is not an integrity to be deceptive to me. No,

0:40:53.760 --> 0:40:56.120
<v Speaker 4>it is not an integrity for you to betray me.

0:40:56.560 --> 0:40:58.720
<v Speaker 4>It is not an integrity for you to sneak around

0:40:58.760 --> 0:41:01.440
<v Speaker 4>and do whatever you were none of zero percent of

0:41:01.480 --> 0:41:02.520
<v Speaker 4>that is in integrity.

0:41:02.640 --> 0:41:06.600
<v Speaker 3>But he believe that people can actually like when they're cheating.

0:41:06.840 --> 0:41:08.880
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if you've ever cheated on someone, You

0:41:09.000 --> 0:41:09.960
<v Speaker 3>never cheated on nobody.

0:41:11.320 --> 0:41:13.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm not interested. I'm not a cheater. I'm not a cheater.

0:41:13.880 --> 0:41:17.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm have you cheated I cheat on oay? Remember? Oh

0:41:17.680 --> 0:41:21.200
<v Speaker 2>you did? I did you cheated her? Lack of that like,

0:41:21.680 --> 0:41:24.080
<v Speaker 2>well to you, you did it? Like like it was

0:41:24.080 --> 0:41:25.319
<v Speaker 2>like get back he cheated on her?

0:41:25.480 --> 0:41:29.359
<v Speaker 3>Okay, but very toxic. And also I felt powerful in

0:41:29.360 --> 0:41:33.399
<v Speaker 3>my cheat But really, which was the worst part about

0:41:33.400 --> 0:41:35.400
<v Speaker 3>my cheating, And it's because that's how much he hurt me.

0:41:35.800 --> 0:41:38.520
<v Speaker 3>I don't even know if my cheating was a true desire.

0:41:38.840 --> 0:41:42.000
<v Speaker 3>I think seventy five percent of it was me just

0:41:42.040 --> 0:41:45.360
<v Speaker 3>being like fuck him. I just I have like another

0:41:45.400 --> 0:41:47.520
<v Speaker 3>man that's obsessed with me, that wants me. It was

0:41:47.560 --> 0:41:48.840
<v Speaker 3>just this weird that's easy.

0:41:49.440 --> 0:41:51.160
<v Speaker 2>Now. I can't even tell you how that.

0:41:51.160 --> 0:41:54.279
<v Speaker 3>Feels, because in the moment when he hurt me, he

0:41:54.320 --> 0:41:56.240
<v Speaker 3>cheated on me during COVID and we moved to Mexico

0:41:56.840 --> 0:41:58.480
<v Speaker 3>and I held that and I was sitting there and

0:41:58.480 --> 0:41:59.240
<v Speaker 3>I was like, fuck.

0:41:59.160 --> 0:42:01.120
<v Speaker 2>No, stuff, what am I gonna do? So when I

0:42:01.120 --> 0:42:02.080
<v Speaker 2>would go to New.

0:42:02.040 --> 0:42:05.480
<v Speaker 3>York to record Horrible, I would cheat and I would

0:42:05.640 --> 0:42:08.239
<v Speaker 3>come home and be like, there was so much fun,

0:42:09.040 --> 0:42:13.480
<v Speaker 3>but I felt so powerful, and I think in the

0:42:13.600 --> 0:42:15.400
<v Speaker 3>end I did oh no. But I don't know if

0:42:15.400 --> 0:42:16.000
<v Speaker 3>he believed me.

0:42:16.120 --> 0:42:16.799
<v Speaker 2>It was in a fight.

0:42:17.480 --> 0:42:22.240
<v Speaker 1>I don't think he believed it. You felt powerful cheating.

0:42:22.560 --> 0:42:25.360
<v Speaker 1>You know what's crazy about you saying that? I wonder

0:42:25.400 --> 0:42:27.600
<v Speaker 1>if men do it as well. There's a lot of

0:42:27.640 --> 0:42:31.320
<v Speaker 1>ways in which, especially when men are with a powerful woman,

0:42:32.080 --> 0:42:37.160
<v Speaker 1>that they feel emasculated. And so I wonder if, even

0:42:37.480 --> 0:42:41.720
<v Speaker 1>knowing how you excelled during that relationship financially and with

0:42:41.719 --> 0:42:44.720
<v Speaker 1>with through business, if cheating for him was a power

0:42:44.760 --> 0:42:47.080
<v Speaker 1>as well, because there was. I told you my nigga

0:42:47.200 --> 0:42:50.399
<v Speaker 1>felt powerful cheating on me with a homeless bitch because he.

0:42:50.400 --> 0:42:54.120
<v Speaker 2>Felt like I wasn't I didn't need him. He literally, no, no, no,

0:42:54.160 --> 0:42:58.000
<v Speaker 2>this chu was a pouch surfing. He had that he

0:42:58.120 --> 0:42:58.759
<v Speaker 2>was homeland.

0:42:59.080 --> 0:43:00.840
<v Speaker 3>It gives a cup out outside shaking it.

0:43:01.080 --> 0:43:04.600
<v Speaker 2>She was CouchSurfing. She didn't have a home, she was unhoused.

0:43:07.280 --> 0:43:10.320
<v Speaker 1>And we talked about it today because like not today,

0:43:10.320 --> 0:43:13.560
<v Speaker 1>but we've talked about it since our breakup, because we've

0:43:13.800 --> 0:43:17.960
<v Speaker 1>mended the things. And when I asked him, like, why

0:43:18.000 --> 0:43:19.960
<v Speaker 1>would you do that? He let me know, like you

0:43:20.040 --> 0:43:22.560
<v Speaker 1>made me feel like I like you didn't need me,

0:43:23.239 --> 0:43:25.759
<v Speaker 1>and so part felt he liked that the bitch needed

0:43:25.800 --> 0:43:30.120
<v Speaker 1>fifty dollars to eat. I don't know, like he liked

0:43:30.160 --> 0:43:33.200
<v Speaker 1>that shit. Yeah, And I was just like, that's crazy.

0:43:33.239 --> 0:43:35.920
<v Speaker 1>So again, and maybe the way that he showed up

0:43:36.080 --> 0:43:38.440
<v Speaker 1>if cheating mede you feel powerful. I wonder how much

0:43:38.480 --> 0:43:41.400
<v Speaker 1>power it gives a man to cheat, especially in a

0:43:41.480 --> 0:43:46.799
<v Speaker 1>relationship where there's he feels either emasculated or unneeded or

0:43:47.360 --> 0:43:50.560
<v Speaker 1>And that's the thing too men. People say that men

0:43:50.640 --> 0:43:52.919
<v Speaker 1>cheat for options, no, the same way they say women

0:43:52.960 --> 0:43:56.080
<v Speaker 1>cheat emotionally. There's also some sort of emotional tie. I

0:43:56.120 --> 0:43:58.760
<v Speaker 1>believe in a lot of sentence as to why men cheat.

0:43:59.120 --> 0:44:00.520
<v Speaker 2>Not to put the blame on I'm a woman.

0:44:00.960 --> 0:44:03.880
<v Speaker 1>Let me go ahead and make that a woman with

0:44:04.080 --> 0:44:05.839
<v Speaker 1>a man cheats, you put the blame on a woman.

0:44:06.000 --> 0:44:06.160
<v Speaker 2>No.

0:44:06.160 --> 0:44:08.040
<v Speaker 4>No, First of all, if a man cheats, a man's

0:44:08.040 --> 0:44:11.240
<v Speaker 4>gonna cheat. But I am saying if a woman opts

0:44:11.239 --> 0:44:14.640
<v Speaker 4>in to being the person that a man cheats with

0:44:14.719 --> 0:44:17.200
<v Speaker 4>and you know he's in a relationship.

0:44:19.760 --> 0:44:21.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh wait, I thought we were blaming like the Maine.

0:44:22.000 --> 0:44:24.160
<v Speaker 1>I thought we were blaming the main No, girl, we

0:44:24.239 --> 0:44:24.919
<v Speaker 1>know side checks.

0:44:24.960 --> 0:44:27.840
<v Speaker 2>They married man. I mean they they married man with.

0:44:27.920 --> 0:44:31.120
<v Speaker 4>Girlfriends, you know, And I'm sure there's I'm not even

0:44:31.120 --> 0:44:33.239
<v Speaker 4>sure I know that there is trauma linked right, Like

0:44:33.400 --> 0:44:35.360
<v Speaker 4>there's a part of like an avoidant that wants to

0:44:35.440 --> 0:44:37.160
<v Speaker 4>it's easier to just have this person that you can

0:44:37.160 --> 0:44:39.200
<v Speaker 4>have a physical connection with the other.

0:44:39.360 --> 0:44:39.960
<v Speaker 2>Don't read me.

0:44:40.080 --> 0:44:45.680
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I actually only give grace in this scenarios that

0:44:45.920 --> 0:44:48.040
<v Speaker 3>it's an exchange of money or gifts.

0:44:48.640 --> 0:44:53.839
<v Speaker 2>And to me, I'm serious. I'm gonna tell you what.

0:44:57.040 --> 0:44:57.279
<v Speaker 3>You hear.

0:44:57.320 --> 0:44:59.400
<v Speaker 2>What you're saying, it's okay for him to have a prostitute.

0:45:00.320 --> 0:45:01.640
<v Speaker 2>What you said? That's all?

0:45:02.120 --> 0:45:05.000
<v Speaker 3>Yes, let me here, it is a bag found out

0:45:05.080 --> 0:45:07.920
<v Speaker 3>that this was nail what you got this person?

0:45:08.200 --> 0:45:08.759
<v Speaker 2>The hot take.

0:45:08.920 --> 0:45:11.880
<v Speaker 3>Isn't me blaming the woman when she's getting money out.

0:45:11.719 --> 0:45:13.920
<v Speaker 2>Of a bigger So as long as a man, you're

0:45:13.920 --> 0:45:15.839
<v Speaker 2>a man, then I deserve it.

0:45:15.920 --> 0:45:18.560
<v Speaker 3>And they not excuse me, I'm the I'm the fucking fool, Like,

0:45:18.560 --> 0:45:19.600
<v Speaker 3>what the fuck I mean?

0:45:19.600 --> 0:45:22.239
<v Speaker 2>Not you cheat on me. Baby, The bitch deserve you too.

0:45:23.160 --> 0:45:25.920
<v Speaker 1>But you're okaying a man cheating with a prostitute over

0:45:26.000 --> 0:45:26.800
<v Speaker 1>cheating with a woman.

0:45:26.800 --> 0:45:28.200
<v Speaker 2>That's just saying I'm not okaying it.

0:45:28.239 --> 0:45:32.040
<v Speaker 3>I'm just saying, the woman that's engaging in this situation,

0:45:33.000 --> 0:45:35.320
<v Speaker 3>get money out my nigger, and she could get gifts.

0:45:35.440 --> 0:45:38.320
<v Speaker 3>Bit you deserve them. If he could do that, I

0:45:38.520 --> 0:45:39.680
<v Speaker 3>take them, take them from me.

0:45:39.800 --> 0:45:41.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm a prostitute. Don't want your man. She could want

0:45:42.000 --> 0:45:44.120
<v Speaker 2>the money, So I take the whole thing because I

0:45:44.120 --> 0:45:44.680
<v Speaker 2>don't want them to know.

0:45:44.960 --> 0:45:47.480
<v Speaker 3>But what I'm telling you is if you can get

0:45:47.560 --> 0:45:49.520
<v Speaker 3>to the like, if you're at the point where there's

0:45:49.560 --> 0:45:51.640
<v Speaker 3>a married man and I'm sorry, Sarah, and I want

0:45:51.640 --> 0:45:53.840
<v Speaker 3>to be married too, and I literally believe it is

0:45:53.880 --> 0:45:57.000
<v Speaker 3>the highest honor that I could give my love and

0:45:57.040 --> 0:46:01.360
<v Speaker 3>my family. Yea. But if there is a woman who is.

0:46:01.360 --> 0:46:04.759
<v Speaker 4>Getting money out of my man, you're not mad at her,

0:46:05.000 --> 0:46:05.640
<v Speaker 4>take them?

0:46:06.280 --> 0:46:07.960
<v Speaker 2>She says, she's not mad at And I'll tell you why.

0:46:08.040 --> 0:46:14.000
<v Speaker 4>To me, if my man gives money to another female, Wait, no.

0:46:13.400 --> 0:46:15.520
<v Speaker 3>No, you can have them.

0:46:15.560 --> 0:46:16.440
<v Speaker 2>You can have them.

0:46:17.280 --> 0:46:22.319
<v Speaker 4>You gave, you gave, you gave our resources to another female.

0:46:24.360 --> 0:46:27.640
<v Speaker 2>What for what? Like? For for a moment, of for

0:46:28.239 --> 0:46:31.520
<v Speaker 2>a moment, take take him them.

0:46:31.560 --> 0:46:33.000
<v Speaker 3>Hold on, I feel that way, I tell you, and

0:46:33.080 --> 0:46:34.480
<v Speaker 3>let me tell you. He loved to eat in the morning.

0:46:34.520 --> 0:46:35.880
<v Speaker 3>He like sausages, pancakes.

0:46:35.880 --> 0:46:39.080
<v Speaker 2>And then they expramed and look at me. I'm the opposite. No,

0:46:39.400 --> 0:46:40.359
<v Speaker 2>I would much rather.

0:46:41.040 --> 0:46:43.439
<v Speaker 1>It's just something like that, like you throw a couple

0:46:43.440 --> 0:46:47.319
<v Speaker 1>of hundred dollars whatever. Hold on, did you catch emotions

0:46:47.360 --> 0:46:49.799
<v Speaker 1>for a woman? I don't know what you have to

0:46:50.480 --> 0:46:52.919
<v Speaker 1>you have to choose. I would munch rather.

0:46:53.120 --> 0:46:55.200
<v Speaker 2>You bet the bitch. One night's Vegas and that's it,

0:46:56.000 --> 0:46:56.759
<v Speaker 2>And that was my thing.

0:46:56.880 --> 0:46:58.960
<v Speaker 1>I was fine even with my partner having sex with

0:46:59.000 --> 0:46:59.719
<v Speaker 1>a woman one time.

0:47:00.040 --> 0:47:00.719
<v Speaker 2>Take her out to dinner.

0:47:00.719 --> 0:47:02.759
<v Speaker 1>Don't get to know how many siblings she has, don't

0:47:02.800 --> 0:47:05.000
<v Speaker 1>know her middle name, just have sex.

0:47:05.160 --> 0:47:09.560
<v Speaker 3>He's like, don't you get emotional, But Sarah fan we

0:47:09.560 --> 0:47:13.000
<v Speaker 3>had a little disagreement about this. He's like, I know

0:47:13.080 --> 0:47:15.719
<v Speaker 3>you say ship, like no dates, no dinner and shit,

0:47:16.400 --> 0:47:20.720
<v Speaker 3>but like what type of woman do you think probably

0:47:20.719 --> 0:47:23.520
<v Speaker 3>wouldn't meet? He's like, you do this whole scenario of

0:47:23.640 --> 0:47:25.200
<v Speaker 3>like how you want it to look right?

0:47:25.719 --> 0:47:29.160
<v Speaker 2>What scraggly bitch do you think is going to meet

0:47:29.239 --> 0:47:31.399
<v Speaker 2>me out and say yes right now in the car.

0:47:31.800 --> 0:47:35.239
<v Speaker 2>He's like, this isn't even like a car take me home.

0:47:35.320 --> 0:47:37.960
<v Speaker 3>But that's the thing like decent women like if if

0:47:38.000 --> 0:47:40.840
<v Speaker 3>you're decent, let's tell you that work we didn't have

0:47:41.040 --> 0:47:43.360
<v Speaker 3>or we don't have one nice stands before.

0:47:43.080 --> 0:47:45.799
<v Speaker 1>And we're not scraggling anyway. Niggas have picked us up

0:47:45.800 --> 0:47:47.839
<v Speaker 1>from the club before. Stop sitting here getting on your

0:47:47.840 --> 0:47:49.919
<v Speaker 1>hot horse. We have had one nice sans when ygga

0:47:49.920 --> 0:47:51.720
<v Speaker 1>I set at the end of the bed in Miami.

0:47:55.880 --> 0:47:56.280
<v Speaker 2>Scraggly.

0:47:56.440 --> 0:47:58.680
<v Speaker 3>You think I'm going at the balla this weekend and

0:47:58.719 --> 0:48:06.080
<v Speaker 3>be like, oh, yes, no, I want to eat a

0:48:06.160 --> 0:48:06.799
<v Speaker 3>hot take I have.

0:48:06.960 --> 0:48:07.160
<v Speaker 2>Yes.

0:48:07.640 --> 0:48:09.960
<v Speaker 3>No woman is to blame if she is getting something

0:48:10.000 --> 0:48:13.400
<v Speaker 3>out of a man. I believe there's nowhere where a

0:48:13.400 --> 0:48:15.799
<v Speaker 3>woman should be blamed. Y'all know he's on his high

0:48:15.800 --> 0:48:17.000
<v Speaker 3>horse with sex workers right now.

0:48:17.080 --> 0:48:18.080
<v Speaker 2>Let's let him no.

0:48:18.280 --> 0:48:21.360
<v Speaker 3>But I just think that, like, it's not even like

0:48:21.440 --> 0:48:24.040
<v Speaker 3>you're trying to take him from me. You're literally doing

0:48:24.120 --> 0:48:26.560
<v Speaker 3>this because the man is funding something for you.

0:48:27.080 --> 0:48:28.680
<v Speaker 2>Well, what am I supposed to say?

0:48:29.520 --> 0:48:32.719
<v Speaker 3>How can we blame this woman's it's her using men,

0:48:32.920 --> 0:48:35.680
<v Speaker 3>which they should be used men use women off.

0:48:35.680 --> 0:48:41.879
<v Speaker 2>This man should be used. Shit, Okay, a married man.

0:48:42.040 --> 0:48:44.640
<v Speaker 2>You're telling me you're doing it because he's funny, because

0:48:44.640 --> 0:48:46.280
<v Speaker 2>you like him. He's cute. Bitch.

0:48:46.280 --> 0:48:49.359
<v Speaker 3>If you're not getting paid, you're a joke bitch. That's

0:48:49.400 --> 0:48:50.600
<v Speaker 3>a literal you could quote.

0:48:50.760 --> 0:48:52.920
<v Speaker 2>But also, men should be used. You said that too.

0:48:53.000 --> 0:48:53.640
<v Speaker 2>Let's stay there.

0:48:54.960 --> 0:48:58.960
<v Speaker 3>They married one, sorry, listen, and this is someone I

0:48:59.000 --> 0:49:02.560
<v Speaker 3>said that once a successful marriage. I'm just saying I

0:49:02.600 --> 0:49:05.200
<v Speaker 3>cannot blame a woman. If a married man comes to

0:49:05.200 --> 0:49:06.719
<v Speaker 3>you and says, I can give you X, y Z,

0:49:07.200 --> 0:49:09.319
<v Speaker 3>I can help you pay your rent, I can give

0:49:09.360 --> 0:49:10.520
<v Speaker 3>you all these things.

0:49:11.040 --> 0:49:15.719
<v Speaker 2>How can we blame these women? I mean, there's so

0:49:15.719 --> 0:49:18.319
<v Speaker 2>many ways, so we can blame me for one.

0:49:18.600 --> 0:49:21.480
<v Speaker 4>Why Why are you so desperate for a means of

0:49:21.520 --> 0:49:24.279
<v Speaker 4>survival that you rely on a man to duck out

0:49:24.280 --> 0:49:27.160
<v Speaker 4>on his wife. Why are you even open to putting

0:49:27.160 --> 0:49:30.799
<v Speaker 4>yourself into a space where you're going to allow yourself

0:49:30.880 --> 0:49:34.200
<v Speaker 4>to be the demise of something, or the demise or

0:49:34.239 --> 0:49:36.919
<v Speaker 4>the creation of his meath, or the betrayal She is.

0:49:36.840 --> 0:49:39.080
<v Speaker 2>That he is if he no, they both are. There's

0:49:39.200 --> 0:49:40.200
<v Speaker 2>no woman in the world.

0:49:40.280 --> 0:49:42.640
<v Speaker 3>She has no loyalty to you that doesn't matter that

0:49:42.800 --> 0:49:43.600
<v Speaker 3>bond that you do.

0:49:43.600 --> 0:49:47.279
<v Speaker 2>You not have loyalty period? Do you not have you

0:49:47.320 --> 0:49:50.320
<v Speaker 2>have to have to someone else's relationship people?

0:49:50.400 --> 0:49:53.600
<v Speaker 4>No, Hey, wait, paus, because that's like saying that's like saying,

0:49:53.960 --> 0:49:56.919
<v Speaker 4>what type of standard do I have to have to you? Look,

0:49:56.960 --> 0:49:59.480
<v Speaker 4>I don't eat meat because I don't eat meat. I don't,

0:49:59.560 --> 0:50:03.080
<v Speaker 4>I don't. I don't drink often because I don't drink often.

0:50:03.320 --> 0:50:05.840
<v Speaker 4>There's never gonna be a space. I don't rob banks,

0:50:06.000 --> 0:50:08.360
<v Speaker 4>I don't do heroin. There's certain things that are just

0:50:08.440 --> 0:50:10.719
<v Speaker 4>not on the table for me. And this being from

0:50:10.719 --> 0:50:13.440
<v Speaker 4>a woman, I had a man who is very ultra successful,

0:50:13.600 --> 0:50:16.319
<v Speaker 4>wanted to have kids with me fifty thousand dollars a month.

0:50:16.360 --> 0:50:18.880
<v Speaker 1>He said, I hold on you and you left that.

0:50:19.080 --> 0:50:22.600
<v Speaker 2>Yes, no, I want partnership. This was the second engagement. No,

0:50:22.920 --> 0:50:25.080
<v Speaker 2>this is a different but no.

0:50:26.719 --> 0:50:29.799
<v Speaker 4>So what I'm saying is if you are the way

0:50:29.840 --> 0:50:32.319
<v Speaker 4>that you are, then be that, but don't try to

0:50:32.360 --> 0:50:35.000
<v Speaker 4>make it like, oh no, I have so much integrity,

0:50:35.040 --> 0:50:36.920
<v Speaker 4>but I just don't owe her anything.

0:50:37.000 --> 0:50:39.080
<v Speaker 2>No, you never had integrity to begin with. So I

0:50:39.080 --> 0:50:39.440
<v Speaker 2>think that.

0:50:41.480 --> 0:50:43.399
<v Speaker 1>I know y'all probably watching this like why the bitch

0:50:43.400 --> 0:50:45.360
<v Speaker 1>that like being a side chick. Ain't talking because I

0:50:45.480 --> 0:50:47.640
<v Speaker 1>used to be a pride I know y'all have be

0:50:47.760 --> 0:50:50.680
<v Speaker 1>just like maybe her quiet and she was being the

0:50:51.120 --> 0:50:52.120
<v Speaker 1>not integroup bags.

0:50:52.160 --> 0:50:54.719
<v Speaker 2>Okay, wait pause? Were you really a sidechick? For real?

0:50:55.040 --> 0:50:55.600
<v Speaker 2>Was I? Bitch?

0:50:55.760 --> 0:50:58.279
<v Speaker 1>I have a chapter in the book that says, do

0:50:58.400 --> 0:50:59.919
<v Speaker 1>married men really treat you better?

0:51:01.760 --> 0:51:02.480
<v Speaker 2>Oh? And they did?

0:51:02.680 --> 0:51:05.839
<v Speaker 1>They put a part of a part of me was delusional,

0:51:05.920 --> 0:51:09.319
<v Speaker 1>and I do think that I wasn't open with the

0:51:09.360 --> 0:51:11.960
<v Speaker 1>fact that I was insecure.

0:51:12.120 --> 0:51:13.399
<v Speaker 2>I was in survival mode.

0:51:13.480 --> 0:51:16.359
<v Speaker 1>I didn't feel like I could be someone's number one

0:51:16.400 --> 0:51:18.720
<v Speaker 1>so much so that two three, four, five.

0:51:18.560 --> 0:51:23.400
<v Speaker 2>That were your relationship? Like like, was it for fun?

0:51:23.760 --> 0:51:27.520
<v Speaker 2>What do you mean? Or was it? Oh? Girl? Some

0:51:27.560 --> 0:51:28.239
<v Speaker 2>of them may give me.

0:51:28.440 --> 0:51:29.600
<v Speaker 1>Some of them I just thought was fine and I

0:51:29.640 --> 0:51:32.319
<v Speaker 1>didn't care to they was married, like not all of

0:51:32.360 --> 0:51:35.440
<v Speaker 1>my side niggas became sugar daddy, See like there's something

0:51:35.520 --> 0:51:38.960
<v Speaker 1>different that's that's here and here you got married?

0:51:39.040 --> 0:51:41.239
<v Speaker 3>Want to get married? I wanted to get married.

0:51:41.280 --> 0:51:43.640
<v Speaker 2>Excuse me? So do I? Mandy does not?

0:51:44.080 --> 0:51:47.680
<v Speaker 3>So how can we expect the value that you have

0:51:48.520 --> 0:51:53.120
<v Speaker 3>about the sanctity of marriage and loyalty? Contributing to the

0:51:53.120 --> 0:52:02.719
<v Speaker 3>demise why you would have got there, Figurenaiuta, I genuinely

0:52:02.760 --> 0:52:06.000
<v Speaker 3>feel like the way that I value things I can't

0:52:06.000 --> 0:52:08.000
<v Speaker 3>expect for someone else. It's like if I let you

0:52:08.080 --> 0:52:10.640
<v Speaker 3>borrow a dress of mine, I can't expect.

0:52:10.360 --> 0:52:12.880
<v Speaker 2>You to treat it how I do. You don't fucking

0:52:12.920 --> 0:52:14.640
<v Speaker 2>treat her like whatever? You know what I mean?

0:52:14.680 --> 0:52:16.520
<v Speaker 4>Like, that's why if you know that somebody don't take

0:52:16.560 --> 0:52:18.400
<v Speaker 4>care of their stuff, they don't take care of their stuff.

0:52:18.520 --> 0:52:21.520
<v Speaker 3>But I just don't believe that the person. We can't

0:52:21.560 --> 0:52:23.799
<v Speaker 3>place blame on another person. We can get angry, we

0:52:23.840 --> 0:52:25.719
<v Speaker 3>can look at their Instagram and be like, fuck her,

0:52:25.840 --> 0:52:28.680
<v Speaker 3>she's this, she's that, but there is nothing. I don't

0:52:28.680 --> 0:52:30.480
<v Speaker 3>even think she deserves bad karma.

0:52:30.800 --> 0:52:32.480
<v Speaker 2>No, I'm not gonna lie it.

0:52:32.560 --> 0:52:34.800
<v Speaker 1>Gone back to your other relationship though. You should have

0:52:34.800 --> 0:52:37.879
<v Speaker 1>whooped Alicia, ass Like as soon as you went into

0:52:37.880 --> 0:52:41.040
<v Speaker 1>that apartment, fuck your keys, you actually because.

0:52:40.840 --> 0:52:43.520
<v Speaker 2>That was your friend. Yeah, I know what you're trying

0:52:43.560 --> 0:52:46.480
<v Speaker 2>to say, and you know it's bold. People funk. You

0:52:46.640 --> 0:52:49.920
<v Speaker 2>should have whooped Alicia. I didn't care. I didn't at

0:52:49.960 --> 0:52:52.000
<v Speaker 2>that point. I feel like, no, because you saw them

0:52:52.040 --> 0:52:55.520
<v Speaker 2>bangles and you care. Oh, you should have whooped Alicia.

0:52:55.560 --> 0:52:59.440
<v Speaker 3>Wait wait, I'm not talking about someone that loves I'm

0:52:59.480 --> 0:53:01.239
<v Speaker 3>talking about a random woman. You need it a ball,

0:53:01.400 --> 0:53:02.080
<v Speaker 3>I mean period.

0:53:02.200 --> 0:53:05.439
<v Speaker 4>I feel this is what I think. Cheating is weak, good, bad,

0:53:05.520 --> 0:53:07.120
<v Speaker 4>right or wrong. It is what it is is weak.

0:53:07.400 --> 0:53:10.040
<v Speaker 4>You're gonna allow the moment where you are not your

0:53:10.080 --> 0:53:12.480
<v Speaker 4>strongest and that's the thing too. I also agree with you,

0:53:12.520 --> 0:53:15.480
<v Speaker 4>Mandy where I feel like every person has the ability

0:53:15.480 --> 0:53:18.880
<v Speaker 4>to be a cheaper cheater right time, right access, right opportunity.

0:53:19.040 --> 0:53:19.759
<v Speaker 2>You put me on.

0:53:19.719 --> 0:53:21.719
<v Speaker 4>A on a on a on a on a what

0:53:21.840 --> 0:53:25.080
<v Speaker 4>you might call it for well, maybe not, maybe not

0:53:25.200 --> 0:53:27.000
<v Speaker 4>because I'm like, damn, if I was on an island

0:53:27.040 --> 0:53:30.480
<v Speaker 4>for thirty years with one man that's not my husband,

0:53:30.960 --> 0:53:32.040
<v Speaker 4>would something go down?

0:53:32.120 --> 0:53:37.040
<v Speaker 2>Girl? Why do you do there? So thirty years? Bitch?

0:53:37.080 --> 0:53:42.600
<v Speaker 2>Thirty years? Now? This is the thing. Thirty days, I

0:53:42.640 --> 0:53:46.000
<v Speaker 2>don't see no planes coming down. Wait a second, you.

0:53:46.120 --> 0:53:48.480
<v Speaker 1>Say it would say you being straighted on the island

0:53:48.520 --> 0:53:50.600
<v Speaker 1>for thirty years to see if you would consider cheating

0:53:50.600 --> 0:53:51.360
<v Speaker 1>on your husband.

0:53:51.640 --> 0:53:54.359
<v Speaker 4>No, I think it just takes a conversation that That's

0:53:54.400 --> 0:53:57.239
<v Speaker 4>what I think, like real talk, like you know, take

0:53:57.320 --> 0:54:00.359
<v Speaker 4>take the extremes out the way. I personally feel like

0:54:01.120 --> 0:54:03.600
<v Speaker 4>I'm not a cheater. Because I'm not a cheater. I

0:54:03.640 --> 0:54:06.279
<v Speaker 4>don't I don't want to give any man that type

0:54:06.280 --> 0:54:08.600
<v Speaker 4>of power over my man. I would never do that.

0:54:08.640 --> 0:54:10.640
<v Speaker 4>I would never have him in a room looking dumb,

0:54:10.760 --> 0:54:13.000
<v Speaker 4>looking stupid, having other men be like, oh yeah, and

0:54:13.200 --> 0:54:13.959
<v Speaker 4>I tagged your girl.

0:54:14.000 --> 0:54:14.600
<v Speaker 2>No you didn't.

0:54:14.800 --> 0:54:16.799
<v Speaker 4>That can't And there's very few people that can even

0:54:16.800 --> 0:54:18.200
<v Speaker 4>claim me. And I love that for him.

0:54:18.560 --> 0:54:20.280
<v Speaker 1>And like, as long as it's not All Star weekend

0:54:20.400 --> 0:54:24.160
<v Speaker 1>like we are, we are, like, I'll be in these rules.

0:54:24.200 --> 0:54:27.520
<v Speaker 2>They k nobody's saying, you know what I mean, But

0:54:27.760 --> 0:54:29.040
<v Speaker 2>that's the only weekend. I'm sorry.

0:54:29.239 --> 0:54:32.239
<v Speaker 3>He was like, I feel like I love that we

0:54:32.280 --> 0:54:35.200
<v Speaker 3>could go in spots and like niggas ain't hit, but

0:54:35.719 --> 0:54:37.759
<v Speaker 3>it definitely went on a date with your hand. It

0:54:37.960 --> 0:54:41.080
<v Speaker 3>was all rio you swipe a Riety's like, we can't

0:54:41.120 --> 0:54:42.840
<v Speaker 3>walk down New York City before.

0:54:42.640 --> 0:54:44.480
<v Speaker 2>You've been like the date with him? I mean I did.

0:54:44.680 --> 0:54:47.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, after that first day, I was like, oh no, yeah,

0:54:47.239 --> 0:54:48.239
<v Speaker 3>I was a serial dater.

0:54:48.480 --> 0:54:54.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:54:55.320 --> 0:54:57.160
<v Speaker 1>Now I'm curious because I do want to make sure

0:54:57.200 --> 0:54:59.879
<v Speaker 1>we get to it. You had a second engagement, Yeah,

0:55:00.640 --> 0:55:01.399
<v Speaker 1>what happened there?

0:55:02.600 --> 0:55:07.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh? Child? So that guy? So that guy changed.

0:55:07.360 --> 0:55:10.239
<v Speaker 4>So think this is where I was really caught up

0:55:10.239 --> 0:55:12.759
<v Speaker 4>in perception, and perception was way more important to me

0:55:12.800 --> 0:55:18.160
<v Speaker 4>than reality. The perception was black love, our couple, relationship goals.

0:55:18.400 --> 0:55:21.719
<v Speaker 4>We were dream team, you know on Instagram, But in

0:55:21.760 --> 0:55:24.360
<v Speaker 4>real life it was actually very toxic. And at the time,

0:55:24.440 --> 0:55:26.000
<v Speaker 4>this is when I was in the top I think,

0:55:26.040 --> 0:55:28.520
<v Speaker 4>three percent of a nine point eight billion dollar company

0:55:28.800 --> 0:55:31.160
<v Speaker 4>and that man looked me dead in my face and said, Sarah,

0:55:31.200 --> 0:55:33.440
<v Speaker 4>you'll never make it. The only way you would make

0:55:33.440 --> 0:55:35.359
<v Speaker 4>it is if you married someone who made it cool.

0:55:35.760 --> 0:55:40.200
<v Speaker 4>And at that time I'm like, but I'm successful. But

0:55:40.360 --> 0:55:43.000
<v Speaker 4>also it did feel like a competition all the time.

0:55:43.160 --> 0:55:45.920
<v Speaker 4>It did feel like, you like, I almost had to

0:55:45.960 --> 0:55:49.279
<v Speaker 4>fight for how dope of a partner I was, you.

0:55:49.239 --> 0:55:49.759
<v Speaker 2>Know what I mean?

0:55:49.880 --> 0:55:52.920
<v Speaker 4>Like, I feel like, was that the toxicity you're talking about,

0:55:53.360 --> 0:55:58.360
<v Speaker 4>the competitiveness. The competitiveness was super toxic. The hit and

0:55:58.440 --> 0:56:01.920
<v Speaker 4>his ego was so big. I'll never free. This lives

0:56:01.960 --> 0:56:04.200
<v Speaker 4>like the most mortifying moment of my life.

0:56:04.360 --> 0:56:06.160
<v Speaker 2>Right. We were in best Buy.

0:56:06.400 --> 0:56:09.360
<v Speaker 4>Okay, you know, and we're old now older, but do

0:56:09.360 --> 0:56:11.359
<v Speaker 4>you guys remember like the Best Buy rooms where there

0:56:11.360 --> 0:56:14.200
<v Speaker 4>were those big old TVs. Yeah, and like they were

0:56:14.280 --> 0:56:17.160
<v Speaker 4>hella expensive, like ten thousand dollars, fourteen thousand.

0:56:16.920 --> 0:56:18.719
<v Speaker 2>Ridiculous whatever. Now you can get them for two forty

0:56:18.719 --> 0:56:20.440
<v Speaker 2>five exactly. Period.

0:56:20.560 --> 0:56:23.560
<v Speaker 4>Yes, So we are freaking going into one of these

0:56:23.640 --> 0:56:26.719
<v Speaker 4>rooms in Best Buy and one of the helpers, like

0:56:26.760 --> 0:56:28.759
<v Speaker 4>one of the workers, comes in the room and she's like, hey,

0:56:28.960 --> 0:56:31.399
<v Speaker 4>you guys, you guys need any help with anything, and

0:56:32.000 --> 0:56:35.040
<v Speaker 4>he was like he was like, no, we're just looking

0:56:35.080 --> 0:56:37.480
<v Speaker 4>around because he knew we knew we weren't about to

0:56:37.480 --> 0:56:40.399
<v Speaker 4>buy the TVs, like we're literally just looking at it.

0:56:40.680 --> 0:56:43.680
<v Speaker 4>And the girl said something along the lines of yeah,

0:56:43.680 --> 0:56:46.359
<v Speaker 4>because no one really buys these TVs. What he heard

0:56:46.400 --> 0:56:49.560
<v Speaker 4>in his mind was you can't afford these TVs. So

0:56:49.600 --> 0:56:54.440
<v Speaker 4>what he did at the time was he brought out

0:56:53.160 --> 0:56:57.040
<v Speaker 4>his car key and he's like, what kind of car

0:56:57.040 --> 0:56:59.440
<v Speaker 4>do you drive? And she said something like a Toyota

0:56:59.480 --> 0:57:03.280
<v Speaker 4>Corolla or like a Cameri or something. And he's like, oh, okay, yeah,

0:57:03.600 --> 0:57:07.600
<v Speaker 4>some people have Camri type lifestyles and other people have

0:57:07.760 --> 0:57:11.359
<v Speaker 4>and he showed his key this type of lifestyle and

0:57:11.400 --> 0:57:13.759
<v Speaker 4>when I tell you, I wish I could have disappeared.

0:57:13.840 --> 0:57:14.000
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:57:14.480 --> 0:57:23.160
<v Speaker 4>The meme of a Maserati girl, okay, not okay, No, never.

0:57:24.680 --> 0:57:26.520
<v Speaker 2>Like ratulation.

0:57:26.960 --> 0:57:30.880
<v Speaker 4>It's it's literally like why, like why why why if

0:57:30.920 --> 0:57:33.680
<v Speaker 4>you have to put yourself above others to feel good?

0:57:33.800 --> 0:57:37.040
<v Speaker 2>Like why the girl it best buy? And you know what,

0:57:37.200 --> 0:57:38.520
<v Speaker 2>I hope.

0:57:38.240 --> 0:57:41.360
<v Speaker 4>That that girl isn't haunted by that moment of just

0:57:41.680 --> 0:57:45.400
<v Speaker 4>osing of you're not good enough, Like imagine someone doing

0:57:45.400 --> 0:57:46.640
<v Speaker 4>you like that publicly for what.

0:57:46.840 --> 0:57:47.640
<v Speaker 2>Oh I'm not gonna lie.

0:57:48.080 --> 0:57:50.400
<v Speaker 1>If your man goes out of his way to make

0:57:50.800 --> 0:57:52.480
<v Speaker 1>like to talk down on you or make you feel

0:57:52.520 --> 0:57:55.240
<v Speaker 1>like you're not good enough, that's that's you gotta leave them.

0:57:55.320 --> 0:57:57.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's you got us to go. Girl. It was

0:57:57.720 --> 0:57:58.240
<v Speaker 2>it was a rap.

0:57:58.280 --> 0:58:00.360
<v Speaker 4>It was literally that him's telling me that that statement

0:58:00.400 --> 0:58:01.920
<v Speaker 4>you'll never make it. The only way you'd make it

0:58:01.960 --> 0:58:03.960
<v Speaker 4>is if you married someone who made it.

0:58:04.080 --> 0:58:05.640
<v Speaker 2>Was That was it.

0:58:05.640 --> 0:58:09.440
<v Speaker 4>It wasn't the him being this super egotistical whatever.

0:58:10.000 --> 0:58:11.760
<v Speaker 2>And in a weird way. He did have some good

0:58:11.800 --> 0:58:15.240
<v Speaker 2>things about him. Honestly, he did hit his moment.

0:58:15.320 --> 0:58:18.040
<v Speaker 1>I mean I didn't he didn't have ed, but yeah,

0:58:18.080 --> 0:58:19.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, I don't know about what was really

0:58:20.000 --> 0:58:20.600
<v Speaker 1>good about?

0:58:20.800 --> 0:58:23.640
<v Speaker 3>What was the car ride home quiet? I don't have

0:58:23.680 --> 0:58:25.480
<v Speaker 3>nothing to say to you? Was it because you were

0:58:25.520 --> 0:58:27.600
<v Speaker 3>angry at him, or did you start to think any we'd.

0:58:27.480 --> 0:58:28.640
<v Speaker 2>Like, how the fuck did I get here?

0:58:29.400 --> 0:58:32.640
<v Speaker 4>I think I just felt embarrassed that I was a

0:58:32.720 --> 0:58:36.920
<v Speaker 4>part of humiliating another human and it made me feel

0:58:37.040 --> 0:58:37.920
<v Speaker 4>so small.

0:58:38.520 --> 0:58:42.200
<v Speaker 3>It made me feel like dirty almost, you know, like.

0:58:43.120 --> 0:58:46.520
<v Speaker 4>I I'm the type of person where I tell strangers

0:58:46.520 --> 0:58:47.560
<v Speaker 4>they're beautiful.

0:58:48.400 --> 0:58:50.120
<v Speaker 2>But you'd be lying hair, No, I don't.

0:58:50.160 --> 0:58:52.480
<v Speaker 4>I'll be like highlashes, girl, I love your hair. I

0:58:52.480 --> 0:58:53.720
<v Speaker 4>love that your hair is more blonde.

0:58:53.720 --> 0:58:55.919
<v Speaker 2>Now that's the truth. I don't say nothing true.

0:58:56.000 --> 0:58:58.280
<v Speaker 1>Oh so when you don't give compliments though, if you

0:58:58.280 --> 0:58:59.000
<v Speaker 1>don't mean them.

0:58:59.080 --> 0:59:03.000
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, no, I'm but I'm intentional about trying to find

0:59:03.040 --> 0:59:06.400
<v Speaker 4>something I like, like like to strangers. I do it

0:59:06.480 --> 0:59:10.240
<v Speaker 4>all the time, like and brock my my husband tell me, girl,

0:59:10.320 --> 0:59:11.960
<v Speaker 4>like them shoelaces, thank you.

0:59:12.200 --> 0:59:13.840
<v Speaker 3>I had a guy at Data that told me once

0:59:14.720 --> 0:59:16.720
<v Speaker 3>I used to think you were a phony about like

0:59:16.760 --> 0:59:18.600
<v Speaker 3>how you have small talk people. And he's like, but

0:59:18.680 --> 0:59:22.000
<v Speaker 3>I realized we're toward the end of our relationship. He said,

0:59:22.680 --> 0:59:26.480
<v Speaker 3>you really are someone that wants to know the Starbucks lady,

0:59:26.640 --> 0:59:29.080
<v Speaker 3>like how her kids are. He's like, at first, I

0:59:29.200 --> 0:59:31.040
<v Speaker 3>was just like when she shut the fuck up and

0:59:31.040 --> 0:59:34.320
<v Speaker 3>he's like, but you love connecting with people in that way,

0:59:34.720 --> 0:59:36.960
<v Speaker 3>And it has been my biggest turn off when people

0:59:37.000 --> 0:59:37.560
<v Speaker 3>are nasty.

0:59:37.640 --> 0:59:39.640
<v Speaker 2>I hate Yeah, no, that's not a good character with

0:59:39.720 --> 0:59:40.640
<v Speaker 2>the character jump.

0:59:40.600 --> 0:59:43.560
<v Speaker 3>Up leave had a great time ba but like and

0:59:43.640 --> 0:59:47.880
<v Speaker 3>I noticed it, especially when today, just like a small way,

0:59:47.880 --> 0:59:48.400
<v Speaker 3>I could see it.

0:59:48.400 --> 0:59:50.000
<v Speaker 2>Nobody in my life really acts like this.

0:59:50.800 --> 0:59:52.640
<v Speaker 3>When we go to a club and the other bitches

0:59:52.640 --> 0:59:54.840
<v Speaker 3>in the section, how do they all treat each other?

0:59:55.360 --> 0:59:57.480
<v Speaker 2>How are the girls treating the other girls there that

0:59:57.600 --> 0:59:58.360
<v Speaker 2>don't know each other?

0:59:58.520 --> 1:00:02.520
<v Speaker 3>Yes, because it is the easiest place to get territorial,

1:00:03.000 --> 1:00:05.240
<v Speaker 3>to get jealous, and you just get mean and need

1:00:05.320 --> 1:00:08.160
<v Speaker 3>to feel like you're more important. I'll show up sometimes,

1:00:08.200 --> 1:00:10.160
<v Speaker 3>whether it be like an industry event or my homeboys

1:00:10.160 --> 1:00:12.200
<v Speaker 3>pull up on this thing, whatever it is, and how

1:00:12.240 --> 1:00:13.880
<v Speaker 3>the women look at me when they sit down on

1:00:13.960 --> 1:00:17.040
<v Speaker 3>the enter of the room, like, especially beautiful women. I'm

1:00:17.040 --> 1:00:20.040
<v Speaker 3>always shocked at beautiful women being treachery.

1:00:20.040 --> 1:00:20.440
<v Speaker 2>Excuse me.

1:00:20.520 --> 1:00:22.320
<v Speaker 4>I know you don't curse, but I really do.

1:00:25.280 --> 1:00:26.160
<v Speaker 3>But I've been through it when I.

1:00:28.760 --> 1:00:33.080
<v Speaker 2>Someone beautiful in their a bit yes are you? Let

1:00:33.080 --> 1:00:33.480
<v Speaker 2>me tell you.

1:00:33.520 --> 1:00:36.120
<v Speaker 4>There's one girl and I'm never gonna say her name,

1:00:36.160 --> 1:00:41.280
<v Speaker 4>and she better pray it. She needs to thank God

1:00:41.400 --> 1:00:43.320
<v Speaker 4>for the fact that I will never tell the truth

1:00:43.320 --> 1:00:45.960
<v Speaker 4>about her, even though this girl lies about me, like

1:00:46.080 --> 1:00:51.000
<v Speaker 4>and I don't care, but no, no, no, but I'm

1:00:51.040 --> 1:00:54.520
<v Speaker 4>gonna say this. She is one of the most beautiful

1:00:54.560 --> 1:00:58.360
<v Speaker 4>women I have ever seen in my life. Like, she

1:00:58.560 --> 1:01:03.080
<v Speaker 4>is stunning, and at the same time, she is the

1:01:03.160 --> 1:01:07.320
<v Speaker 4>ugliest human I have ever experienced in my entire I

1:01:07.360 --> 1:01:08.920
<v Speaker 4>didn't even know they made them like this. This is

1:01:09.000 --> 1:01:12.520
<v Speaker 4>like Jim Rone says it. Jim Ron says, in your lifetime,

1:01:12.520 --> 1:01:16.440
<v Speaker 4>you'll probably really only meet ten truly terrible people.

1:01:16.600 --> 1:01:17.400
<v Speaker 2>Oh I like that.

1:01:17.480 --> 1:01:19.080
<v Speaker 4>So once you get through your ten, you know, if

1:01:19.120 --> 1:01:20.919
<v Speaker 4>you're thirty five, you've made it to four, you got

1:01:20.920 --> 1:01:23.720
<v Speaker 4>six more. If you twenty and you you're already at eight,

1:01:23.760 --> 1:01:25.919
<v Speaker 4>you only got two more. Like, there's really only ten

1:01:26.400 --> 1:01:28.520
<v Speaker 4>truly terrible people that you run into in your life.

1:01:28.640 --> 1:01:31.280
<v Speaker 3>She's one of my ten. Oh wow, she is one

1:01:31.320 --> 1:01:31.840
<v Speaker 3>of my ten.

1:01:32.200 --> 1:01:33.920
<v Speaker 2>How many have you? How many do you think you've

1:01:33.960 --> 1:01:34.400
<v Speaker 2>run into?

1:01:34.680 --> 1:01:36.840
<v Speaker 4>I think I've only had one, to be honest. No, girl,

1:01:37.040 --> 1:01:38.720
<v Speaker 4>the ex I'm sorry you gotta throw.

1:01:38.720 --> 1:01:41.880
<v Speaker 3>I wouldn't even probably they saying maybe a good or

1:01:42.200 --> 1:01:45.040
<v Speaker 3>or five that are confusing me with how nasty they are,

1:01:45.040 --> 1:01:47.200
<v Speaker 3>Like just not even like you know, when you get

1:01:47.200 --> 1:01:49.200
<v Speaker 3>in an argument with someone like that doesn't count to

1:01:49.240 --> 1:01:52.360
<v Speaker 3>me because that then there's an excuse for your or

1:01:52.440 --> 1:01:54.560
<v Speaker 3>maybe some anger is bringing a bad side of you.

1:01:54.680 --> 1:01:58.520
<v Speaker 3>Just someone truly nasty. The one thing I will say though,

1:01:58.520 --> 1:02:00.960
<v Speaker 3>one of them was a very beautiful one and she

1:02:01.120 --> 1:02:03.760
<v Speaker 3>was a model. I remember complaining about her to another

1:02:03.760 --> 1:02:07.880
<v Speaker 3>friend of mine and he said, imagine your beauty is

1:02:07.880 --> 1:02:10.880
<v Speaker 3>the only thing. Oh imagine how it must feel when

1:02:10.880 --> 1:02:15.080
<v Speaker 3>she sits down. Because we were associates, He's like, you know,

1:02:15.120 --> 1:02:16.520
<v Speaker 3>when you come in the room, I'm one of those

1:02:16.520 --> 1:02:18.240
<v Speaker 3>friends that everyone wants me to tell a story when

1:02:18.280 --> 1:02:18.640
<v Speaker 3>I said.

1:02:18.480 --> 1:02:20.520
<v Speaker 2>Down, ohasy Fells bought blah blah blah blah blah, or.

1:02:20.520 --> 1:02:22.360
<v Speaker 3>When I come into a room, or I'm the party

1:02:22.400 --> 1:02:24.320
<v Speaker 3>friend sometimes right, people love me at a party.

1:02:24.360 --> 1:02:25.120
<v Speaker 2>It's just the truth.

1:02:25.920 --> 1:02:28.960
<v Speaker 3>He's like, how much it must bother her that the

1:02:29.000 --> 1:02:32.960
<v Speaker 3>beauty stops and now the attention shifts a lot of beautiful.

1:02:33.040 --> 1:02:34.520
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, when I was fat, I used to bag

1:02:34.520 --> 1:02:37.280
<v Speaker 1>all the niggas because because the girls in the room

1:02:37.280 --> 1:02:38.919
<v Speaker 1>will be fine, but I come and to start making

1:02:38.920 --> 1:02:43.640
<v Speaker 1>a nigga ut. Hey, they was okay with my three necks.

1:02:45.040 --> 1:02:47.760
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, they say, this bitch kind of funny. Let's keep

1:02:47.760 --> 1:02:50.720
<v Speaker 3>having her around. You know you're someone that people want

1:02:50.760 --> 1:02:51.440
<v Speaker 3>to be around.

1:02:51.920 --> 1:02:53.680
<v Speaker 2>Oh, let me tell you what I really can't stand.

1:02:53.720 --> 1:02:55.520
<v Speaker 2>I mean, there's a joke having me a bad bitch.

1:02:55.560 --> 1:02:59.160
<v Speaker 2>Here's she funny and cool like and yeah, you'd be surprised.

1:02:59.240 --> 1:03:02.840
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's the best feeling because it really goes to

1:03:02.960 --> 1:03:06.400
<v Speaker 3>show that like, nah, we can pivot past this. I

1:03:06.440 --> 1:03:08.200
<v Speaker 3>feel like my whole life I was meant to think

1:03:08.240 --> 1:03:10.880
<v Speaker 3>that hot people were rude, always was.

1:03:11.000 --> 1:03:14.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm curious in terms of pivoting you and your husband.

1:03:14.240 --> 1:03:17.720
<v Speaker 1>Now, to wrap this up, you and your husband were

1:03:17.760 --> 1:03:22.200
<v Speaker 1>friends for how long before you said you got to

1:03:22.200 --> 1:03:23.720
<v Speaker 1>marry me to get this koochie.

1:03:24.640 --> 1:03:27.360
<v Speaker 2>That's why you can't trust friends. You can't trust friends.

1:03:27.360 --> 1:03:30.040
<v Speaker 2>I say that all the time. I you know, you

1:03:31.840 --> 1:03:32.400
<v Speaker 2>was my friend.

1:03:32.440 --> 1:03:34.920
<v Speaker 4>I choose from my friends. Everybody I've ever dated it

1:03:34.920 --> 1:03:35.800
<v Speaker 4>has been a friend.

1:03:36.800 --> 1:03:38.640
<v Speaker 2>And so your your husband now can't.

1:03:38.640 --> 1:03:44.760
<v Speaker 1>But your husband now can't have girls ariends for what.

1:03:43.600 --> 1:03:44.920
<v Speaker 2>What about the women that were in life?

1:03:45.120 --> 1:03:47.760
<v Speaker 1>He don't have none, he'd wait, all the women that

1:03:47.800 --> 1:03:49.560
<v Speaker 1>were in his life before y'all got married.

1:03:49.600 --> 1:03:53.560
<v Speaker 4>Are y'all talking about Wait? He had everybody you were

1:03:53.760 --> 1:03:55.760
<v Speaker 4>I was a friend. I don't know any of his

1:03:55.840 --> 1:03:58.160
<v Speaker 4>other friends. Wait, so the ones now you doesn't have

1:03:58.240 --> 1:04:00.640
<v Speaker 4>any female friends. He has women that he's cool with,

1:04:00.960 --> 1:04:02.000
<v Speaker 4>and I know who they are.

1:04:02.240 --> 1:04:04.400
<v Speaker 2>That count. No, it's doesn't. I feel like people be

1:04:04.400 --> 1:04:05.440
<v Speaker 2>putting too much on friend.

1:04:05.840 --> 1:04:08.440
<v Speaker 4>Even for friend to me means you show up to

1:04:08.480 --> 1:04:10.560
<v Speaker 4>this person, you talk to them often, you'll.

1:04:10.400 --> 1:04:12.560
<v Speaker 2>Hang out with them one on one. Those are friend.

1:04:12.640 --> 1:04:14.240
<v Speaker 2>Can any of the women that he's cool with show

1:04:14.280 --> 1:04:17.160
<v Speaker 2>up at the wedding? Yeah, so that's a friend.

1:04:17.720 --> 1:04:20.360
<v Speaker 4>I wouldn't give that they came to the people came

1:04:20.400 --> 1:04:22.440
<v Speaker 4>to your weddings, Sarah one hundred.

1:04:22.840 --> 1:04:25.840
<v Speaker 2>Nah, No, he got friends. Look at you. You're kind

1:04:25.840 --> 1:04:27.880
<v Speaker 2>of living on a that's a little delusional.

1:04:28.600 --> 1:04:32.480
<v Speaker 1>If he was able to invite women, yeah to your wedding.

1:04:32.640 --> 1:04:36.080
<v Speaker 2>Yes, those aren't his friends. A hundred people.

1:04:36.280 --> 1:04:38.440
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's small. That's a small wedding.

1:04:39.080 --> 1:04:40.400
<v Speaker 2>You better small wedding.

1:04:40.520 --> 1:04:43.240
<v Speaker 3>That's a very small wedding. Yeah, it was what I'm saying,

1:04:43.400 --> 1:04:45.320
<v Speaker 3>like in the grand scheme of when people like do

1:04:45.400 --> 1:04:47.160
<v Speaker 3>this big blot thing of hundreds.

1:04:46.760 --> 1:04:52.240
<v Speaker 1>Of unless he know eighty, I might invite twenty five,

1:04:52.320 --> 1:04:52.760
<v Speaker 1>but I don't know.

1:04:52.760 --> 1:04:53.640
<v Speaker 2>I ain't gonna have a wedding.

1:04:53.640 --> 1:04:56.000
<v Speaker 4>But look, if you're talking, this is what I'll say

1:04:56.160 --> 1:04:58.840
<v Speaker 4>for Brock. I would never I don't have to tell

1:04:58.840 --> 1:05:02.240
<v Speaker 4>Brock anything because I can't tell him anything. He is

1:05:02.320 --> 1:05:05.640
<v Speaker 4>truly a man's man. And I think because he is

1:05:05.800 --> 1:05:09.760
<v Speaker 4>quiet in nature, like he's an observer. He's a little mysterious.

1:05:09.840 --> 1:05:11.240
<v Speaker 4>He don't have a lot to say to y'all. If

1:05:11.240 --> 1:05:13.400
<v Speaker 4>you don't know y'all, he ain't gonna and kick it

1:05:13.480 --> 1:05:16.320
<v Speaker 4>and chat with It's not how He's not a big talker.

1:05:16.400 --> 1:05:18.560
<v Speaker 2>That's not who he is. So for.

1:05:20.520 --> 1:05:22.360
<v Speaker 3>Our whole wait, I lost my trade of thought. We're

1:05:22.360 --> 1:05:23.080
<v Speaker 3>talking about friends.

1:05:23.160 --> 1:05:24.960
<v Speaker 2>Friends. Yeah, he'll be a friend.

1:05:25.000 --> 1:05:26.840
<v Speaker 3>He was a friend, but you don't believe in friends.

1:05:27.760 --> 1:05:28.840
<v Speaker 2>No, the opposite sex.

1:05:28.920 --> 1:05:29.000
<v Speaker 3>No.

1:05:29.320 --> 1:05:31.840
<v Speaker 4>Now I feel like even my closest guy friends that

1:05:31.920 --> 1:05:35.760
<v Speaker 4>I have, we're we all are friends now. The girls

1:05:35.800 --> 1:05:38.040
<v Speaker 4>that he has in his life, we all are friends.

1:05:38.040 --> 1:05:38.200
<v Speaker 2>Now.

1:05:38.240 --> 1:05:40.120
<v Speaker 4>When we had a whole get together at the house

1:05:40.120 --> 1:05:42.520
<v Speaker 4>where the female friends that he has, they came to

1:05:42.560 --> 1:05:45.120
<v Speaker 4>the house and we all already know each other, my

1:05:45.200 --> 1:05:47.320
<v Speaker 4>friends that have a strong relationship with God.

1:05:47.360 --> 1:05:48.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what this is.

1:05:49.920 --> 1:05:52.560
<v Speaker 3>All of my homegirls that are like this with Jesus

1:05:53.000 --> 1:05:54.480
<v Speaker 3>believe men and women can't be friends.

1:05:55.240 --> 1:05:57.080
<v Speaker 2>Don't know why. Oh don't know why.

1:05:57.080 --> 1:06:00.320
<v Speaker 3>I don't think that's literally Brionda said to me when

1:06:00.480 --> 1:06:02.280
<v Speaker 3>she knew my man and I were talking about marriage, like,

1:06:02.280 --> 1:06:03.400
<v Speaker 3>You're gonna have to get rid of your friends.

1:06:03.400 --> 1:06:07.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? No? Like what?

1:06:07.920 --> 1:06:13.320
<v Speaker 2>But what is their purpose? Because friends, what do you do? Whatever?

1:06:13.480 --> 1:06:15.960
<v Speaker 2>What do you? What do you are right now? No,

1:06:16.360 --> 1:06:19.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm you don't want to be married? Oh no, that okay,

1:06:19.960 --> 1:06:21.960
<v Speaker 2>I'll take a ring. Okay, come on, I'll be mad.

1:06:22.520 --> 1:06:24.200
<v Speaker 2>I'll take a ring to me.

1:06:24.560 --> 1:06:26.680
<v Speaker 1>Even even so, here's the thing, what y'all do in

1:06:26.680 --> 1:06:30.080
<v Speaker 1>this marriage that's very but I still to think that.

1:06:30.400 --> 1:06:32.160
<v Speaker 3>I still believe liked.

1:06:32.240 --> 1:06:33.880
<v Speaker 1>What I also don't like is that both the audists

1:06:33.880 --> 1:06:35.200
<v Speaker 1>saying you don't want to be married, because that's what

1:06:35.320 --> 1:06:39.360
<v Speaker 1>I still want to have a sanctified relationship that is serious,

1:06:39.520 --> 1:06:42.640
<v Speaker 1>that where we have boundaries, where he is my partner.

1:06:43.080 --> 1:06:46.840
<v Speaker 1>I absolutely still want that. So I hate that because

1:06:46.840 --> 1:06:49.160
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to get married. That the way I

1:06:49.160 --> 1:06:51.120
<v Speaker 1>want to show up in relationships.

1:06:50.440 --> 1:06:54.080
<v Speaker 4>Still had from that conversation.

1:06:54.240 --> 1:06:55.840
<v Speaker 2>I made you feel that way. Oh yeah, I don't

1:06:55.880 --> 1:06:57.920
<v Speaker 2>want to make you feel what's he already saying. I

1:06:57.960 --> 1:07:01.040
<v Speaker 2>don't date seriously because I just mean yeah, and I

1:07:01.080 --> 1:07:03.200
<v Speaker 2>don't mean if you went of society.

1:07:03.240 --> 1:07:05.480
<v Speaker 4>I think if society could suck my dick from back

1:07:06.360 --> 1:07:08.280
<v Speaker 4>the recent niggas, you wasn't that serious.

1:07:08.560 --> 1:07:10.919
<v Speaker 2>I was serious with everyone.

1:07:12.040 --> 1:07:14.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't, okay, so and so for me, this idea

1:07:15.400 --> 1:07:20.200
<v Speaker 1>is so crazy because I absolutely if a man came

1:07:20.240 --> 1:07:21.840
<v Speaker 1>in and was like, hey, baby, like da da d

1:07:22.360 --> 1:07:25.480
<v Speaker 1>we're getting serious now. I don't want you on the

1:07:25.480 --> 1:07:27.160
<v Speaker 1>phone with ish. I don't want you on the phone

1:07:27.200 --> 1:07:28.400
<v Speaker 1>with a king. I don't want you on the phone

1:07:28.400 --> 1:07:32.320
<v Speaker 1>with this. I don't care how good the dick is,

1:07:32.360 --> 1:07:36.120
<v Speaker 1>how much money he got deuces there. I have genuine

1:07:36.160 --> 1:07:39.680
<v Speaker 1>friendships with people that I love. That my my group

1:07:39.760 --> 1:07:42.440
<v Speaker 1>chat with the homies, where clearly I don't know my

1:07:42.480 --> 1:07:45.080
<v Speaker 1>dick a little big, but I have a group chat

1:07:45.120 --> 1:07:47.800
<v Speaker 1>literally with just met that is completely different than my

1:07:47.840 --> 1:07:49.479
<v Speaker 1>group chatlection on.

1:07:49.840 --> 1:07:50.800
<v Speaker 2>The person I'm dating.

1:07:51.120 --> 1:07:55.160
<v Speaker 3>That they could assume that that that that opposite sex

1:07:55.640 --> 1:07:58.600
<v Speaker 3>is nothing besides trouble to.

1:07:58.600 --> 1:08:03.080
<v Speaker 2>Me, like, that's ever one as I'm ever own ass woman.

1:08:03.600 --> 1:08:06.640
<v Speaker 3>I own too many damned businesses not to have interactions

1:08:06.640 --> 1:08:09.480
<v Speaker 3>with them. That's just the facts, right, that's extra Now,

1:08:09.520 --> 1:08:13.520
<v Speaker 3>granted that's a work relationship. Yeah, however, she dropped out

1:08:13.520 --> 1:08:16.960
<v Speaker 3>of college. This is how I make friends. Yeah, right now,

1:08:17.600 --> 1:08:20.799
<v Speaker 3>if I suddenly have to remove myself from those people

1:08:21.439 --> 1:08:24.800
<v Speaker 3>because you feel like it's not appropriate for our relationship,

1:08:25.120 --> 1:08:27.439
<v Speaker 3>I think we're in the wrong relationship. I think that

1:08:27.560 --> 1:08:30.479
<v Speaker 3>there's a point of control and contention that you'll reach

1:08:30.520 --> 1:08:32.439
<v Speaker 3>in a relationship where maybe.

1:08:32.120 --> 1:08:33.240
<v Speaker 2>Certain friends gotta go.

1:08:33.560 --> 1:08:36.320
<v Speaker 3>For example, I've got close friends that are definitely patronic,

1:08:36.400 --> 1:08:37.960
<v Speaker 3>and then it was definitely some niggas.

1:08:37.720 --> 1:08:39.559
<v Speaker 2>That maybe would have fucked if I got if they could.

1:08:40.439 --> 1:08:42.439
<v Speaker 2>There's a lot of niggas that would fuck if you let.

1:08:42.280 --> 1:08:45.360
<v Speaker 3>Them exactly still be your I don't think that it's

1:08:45.360 --> 1:08:47.480
<v Speaker 3>fair to only build sisterhood.

1:08:47.880 --> 1:08:50.000
<v Speaker 4>So so I hear what you're saying, and that is

1:08:50.040 --> 1:08:52.400
<v Speaker 4>a vantage point. But this is my this is my

1:08:52.400 --> 1:08:53.160
<v Speaker 4>opposing view.

1:08:54.200 --> 1:08:54.519
<v Speaker 2>Now.

1:08:54.720 --> 1:08:56.679
<v Speaker 4>I have a friend right now, his name is Ady,

1:08:57.080 --> 1:08:59.080
<v Speaker 4>one of my closest friends. We talk on the phone

1:08:59.160 --> 1:09:02.000
<v Speaker 4>all the time, knows them. We've had conversation. So it's

1:09:02.000 --> 1:09:04.679
<v Speaker 4>not that you can't have friends of the opposite sex.

1:09:04.800 --> 1:09:06.960
<v Speaker 4>One of his girlfriends shout out to Asia. Asia came

1:09:07.000 --> 1:09:09.000
<v Speaker 4>over to the house. Asia was at the wedding. Asia's like,

1:09:09.040 --> 1:09:11.240
<v Speaker 4>I love what you guys have this. The three of

1:09:11.320 --> 1:09:14.799
<v Speaker 4>us are now building our relationship. So what I'm saying

1:09:14.960 --> 1:09:17.640
<v Speaker 4>is I don't think it's appropriate for people to have

1:09:17.840 --> 1:09:20.240
<v Speaker 4>you don't know, yes, oh wait, I also don't think

1:09:20.280 --> 1:09:23.160
<v Speaker 4>it's appropriate. I also don't think it's appropriate for there

1:09:23.200 --> 1:09:26.719
<v Speaker 4>to be one on one interactions with that person because

1:09:26.960 --> 1:09:30.479
<v Speaker 4>why Now here's the caveat to that. Let's say that

1:09:30.560 --> 1:09:31.360
<v Speaker 4>you want to.

1:09:31.640 --> 1:09:34.439
<v Speaker 3>Go on a trip, go on vacation, go on why

1:09:34.439 --> 1:09:36.360
<v Speaker 3>would you go with a friend instead of your husband

1:09:36.400 --> 1:09:36.679
<v Speaker 3>or wife?

1:09:36.720 --> 1:09:38.559
<v Speaker 2>Okay, wait wait now you cook. Now I get it.

1:09:39.040 --> 1:09:42.479
<v Speaker 3>But in terms of friendship and we so my partner

1:09:42.520 --> 1:09:44.519
<v Speaker 3>had dated someone for nine years before me m hm,

1:09:44.880 --> 1:09:47.280
<v Speaker 3>and he was like, you got too many fucking homeboys, boots,

1:09:47.360 --> 1:09:50.840
<v Speaker 3>what the fuck? But I'm like, well, how what is

1:09:50.840 --> 1:09:52.719
<v Speaker 3>this gonna make you comfortable? Because I'm not gonna stop

1:09:52.760 --> 1:09:53.839
<v Speaker 3>being friends with them.

1:09:53.840 --> 1:09:54.760
<v Speaker 2>He's like, well, you can't go on.

1:09:54.760 --> 1:09:57.840
<v Speaker 3>Trips with Andre anymore, just you and him my friends

1:09:57.840 --> 1:09:59.679
<v Speaker 3>in DJ, so I would jump on a trip. I'll

1:09:59.680 --> 1:10:01.720
<v Speaker 3>come out there. He's like, that's weird to me that

1:10:01.920 --> 1:10:04.240
<v Speaker 3>just you and him go on this trip. That I understand.

1:10:04.520 --> 1:10:08.639
<v Speaker 3>He's like, but I do understand that you and Andre

1:10:09.120 --> 1:10:11.080
<v Speaker 3>might step out. I live between New York and LA.

1:10:11.439 --> 1:10:13.160
<v Speaker 3>Y'all partying in LA for a night, you go out,

1:10:13.200 --> 1:10:15.640
<v Speaker 3>you have dinner, whatever. He's like, like, why would you

1:10:15.640 --> 1:10:18.640
<v Speaker 3>and Andre go on a trip alone? Now that I

1:10:18.640 --> 1:10:22.320
<v Speaker 3>am in a serious relationship. I completely get that. To me,

1:10:22.800 --> 1:10:25.519
<v Speaker 3>it is a bit inappropriate now and I have Andre

1:10:25.640 --> 1:10:26.960
<v Speaker 3>and I've ever shared a bed.

1:10:26.880 --> 1:10:27.280
<v Speaker 2>Or a room.

1:10:27.520 --> 1:10:31.360
<v Speaker 3>No, but I understand the intimacy that vacations are, and

1:10:31.400 --> 1:10:35.200
<v Speaker 3>I don't necessarily think like it makes sense to go like,

1:10:35.960 --> 1:10:36.559
<v Speaker 3>why would my.

1:10:36.520 --> 1:10:37.760
<v Speaker 2>Man go on a trip at one of his whole

1:10:37.960 --> 1:10:41.400
<v Speaker 2>that's fucking insane. I get it. But granted we're all friends.

1:10:41.400 --> 1:10:45.400
<v Speaker 4>Now, would you say said, maybe they're going to Black

1:10:45.439 --> 1:10:49.320
<v Speaker 4>Ski Week? I don't know, not, but it's just inappropriate

1:10:49.360 --> 1:10:51.720
<v Speaker 4>for me. And also, this is the thing, none of

1:10:51.800 --> 1:10:54.280
<v Speaker 4>us are just perfect people. I'm not a perfect person.

1:10:54.720 --> 1:10:57.840
<v Speaker 4>The thing that causes cheating, cheating happens way before the

1:10:57.880 --> 1:11:01.160
<v Speaker 4>act of sex. It's access. Access again and again and

1:11:01.200 --> 1:11:03.679
<v Speaker 4>again over time. It's like the Chinese proverb that says

1:11:03.680 --> 1:11:06.599
<v Speaker 4>a drop of water dropping on a rock same spot

1:11:06.880 --> 1:11:08.760
<v Speaker 4>over time will split the rock.

1:11:09.120 --> 1:11:13.080
<v Speaker 2>It is the continuous access. Yeah. Absolutely, I don't think

1:11:14.080 --> 1:11:17.040
<v Speaker 2>one drop of water. Reason. I don't know if I

1:11:17.120 --> 1:11:17.720
<v Speaker 2>really believe it.

1:11:17.720 --> 1:11:21.479
<v Speaker 3>With friendship, I think someone at work could start more

1:11:21.640 --> 1:11:22.800
<v Speaker 3>of a budding relationship.

1:11:22.840 --> 1:11:24.559
<v Speaker 2>Like I think that at the end. Why you think

1:11:24.560 --> 1:11:26.360
<v Speaker 2>they say workwives and work husband, of.

1:11:26.280 --> 1:11:30.080
<v Speaker 1>Course, but I think, like, so you better work with

1:11:30.160 --> 1:11:31.639
<v Speaker 1>the same sex if we get together.

1:11:32.120 --> 1:11:34.240
<v Speaker 2>What do you mean, so now you gotta go work

1:11:34.240 --> 1:11:39.160
<v Speaker 2>at more house. He can't be around women, Like, That's

1:11:39.160 --> 1:11:40.800
<v Speaker 2>the thing. I don't think. I'm not saying he can't

1:11:40.800 --> 1:11:42.320
<v Speaker 2>be around women. I'm not saying that.

1:11:42.400 --> 1:11:45.000
<v Speaker 3>Wait, wait, you really think it's cool that, like someone

1:11:45.000 --> 1:11:47.200
<v Speaker 3>could be married and go on a vacation with a woman.

1:11:47.479 --> 1:11:50.639
<v Speaker 1>I don't think that that would happen. I just don't

1:11:50.840 --> 1:11:54.559
<v Speaker 1>see where why that would happen. Like when you get married,

1:11:54.920 --> 1:11:58.599
<v Speaker 1>like you often now either here with other friend groups

1:11:58.640 --> 1:12:00.920
<v Speaker 1>like you, that wouldn't be a thing where if we're

1:12:00.920 --> 1:12:04.120
<v Speaker 1>married and we're living together, that you're planning a vacation

1:12:04.280 --> 1:12:07.720
<v Speaker 1>with another person, that wouldn't happen. No, I agree, it

1:12:07.760 --> 1:12:09.880
<v Speaker 1>shouldn't happen. No, but it wouldn't happen like that doesn't

1:12:09.880 --> 1:12:10.719
<v Speaker 1>even make sense by.

1:12:10.760 --> 1:12:14.080
<v Speaker 2>Saying that's like bro the last three. But that's why,

1:12:14.160 --> 1:12:16.439
<v Speaker 2>that's why y'all like y'all are taking it to the extreme.

1:12:16.760 --> 1:12:19.760
<v Speaker 1>Do I think that my husband or my partner can

1:12:19.800 --> 1:12:22.840
<v Speaker 1>go and have lunch or dinner with just a woman

1:12:22.960 --> 1:12:23.559
<v Speaker 1>one on one?

1:12:23.840 --> 1:12:26.320
<v Speaker 2>Yes, oh, I agree to Yes, she doesn't.

1:12:26.479 --> 1:12:29.240
<v Speaker 1>That's what I'm saying in him cannot go and have

1:12:29.240 --> 1:12:32.120
<v Speaker 1>dinner by themselves, like we're taking it to the extreme

1:12:32.120 --> 1:12:34.880
<v Speaker 1>with this vacation to it's not it's not cannot, but

1:12:34.960 --> 1:12:36.080
<v Speaker 1>he also would not.

1:12:36.640 --> 1:12:37.639
<v Speaker 2>That's the man I chose.

1:12:37.720 --> 1:12:40.200
<v Speaker 4>I chose a man that sees the same inappropriate actions,

1:12:40.240 --> 1:12:41.080
<v Speaker 4>the same that I see.

1:12:41.880 --> 1:12:45.200
<v Speaker 2>That's not an inappropriate action to eat, But come to

1:12:45.240 --> 1:12:47.320
<v Speaker 2>the house. I'll cook for you. I gave what you

1:12:47.360 --> 1:12:47.519
<v Speaker 2>to me.

1:12:47.600 --> 1:12:51.960
<v Speaker 3>But wait, wait, wait, girl, something that makes sense. Yeah,

1:12:52.080 --> 1:12:55.280
<v Speaker 3>he's out with the boys. Asia is at a bar.

1:12:55.640 --> 1:12:59.240
<v Speaker 3>Come through, let's have a drink. That's not that's crazy. Look, no,

1:12:59.320 --> 1:13:01.479
<v Speaker 3>that's not crazy. He's already out with the boys and

1:13:01.520 --> 1:13:03.160
<v Speaker 3>she's at the same place. Maybe he's gonna meet with

1:13:03.200 --> 1:13:05.000
<v Speaker 3>the boys. I'm saying, maybe he has plans that night,

1:13:05.040 --> 1:13:06.599
<v Speaker 3>but right before he meets Asia to catch up.

1:13:07.000 --> 1:13:07.719
<v Speaker 2>No, that's weird.

1:13:07.880 --> 1:13:11.479
<v Speaker 3>See, so something I really need. For example, I'll bring

1:13:11.479 --> 1:13:14.240
<v Speaker 3>this person up again. Now him and Andre hang out

1:13:14.280 --> 1:13:17.400
<v Speaker 3>alone without me, which is lovely. We've been on vacations together. Pooh.

1:13:18.280 --> 1:13:21.120
<v Speaker 3>I need my time with my friend privately. And it's

1:13:21.120 --> 1:13:24.000
<v Speaker 3>not because I have some crazy It's weird. See, it's

1:13:24.040 --> 1:13:27.240
<v Speaker 3>weird to me. I got to catch up with my dog.

1:13:27.320 --> 1:13:29.120
<v Speaker 2>I want to talk, but why can't you do that

1:13:29.360 --> 1:13:30.880
<v Speaker 2>in front of your your man?

1:13:31.320 --> 1:13:35.040
<v Speaker 3>But I also can't share every single lived experience, sir,

1:13:35.240 --> 1:13:36.479
<v Speaker 3>And that's she thinks that.

1:13:36.680 --> 1:13:37.479
<v Speaker 2>That's like we talked.

1:13:37.520 --> 1:13:40.559
<v Speaker 3>I think that independence then becomes a thing, right, So yeah,

1:13:40.760 --> 1:13:42.240
<v Speaker 3>you got a agree of your partner.

1:13:42.400 --> 1:13:43.120
<v Speaker 2>Now I agree with that.

1:13:43.600 --> 1:13:45.960
<v Speaker 4>Look, I'm here right now before it is. I was

1:13:46.000 --> 1:13:49.200
<v Speaker 4>at a laser hair removal appointment before that. Like, I'm

1:13:49.240 --> 1:13:50.639
<v Speaker 4>not saying you have to be up.

1:13:50.640 --> 1:13:51.840
<v Speaker 2>Under your man all the time.

1:13:52.000 --> 1:13:54.720
<v Speaker 4>I'm saying that there are certain things that I can

1:13:54.880 --> 1:13:57.680
<v Speaker 4>create intimacy, which is not always sexual, by the way,

1:13:57.880 --> 1:14:00.400
<v Speaker 4>but intimacy, and I don't think that we as women

1:14:00.560 --> 1:14:03.800
<v Speaker 4>should be spreading our intimate things with men.

1:14:03.960 --> 1:14:06.000
<v Speaker 2>I just don't think that now, I don't.

1:14:06.120 --> 1:14:08.840
<v Speaker 3>I think the intimacy looks different from me, right, it's

1:14:08.960 --> 1:14:11.559
<v Speaker 3>the bond that I share when I'm having a tough

1:14:11.640 --> 1:14:13.599
<v Speaker 3>day and I'm talking about the fragility of my parents

1:14:13.680 --> 1:14:17.080
<v Speaker 3>being older. It could be maybe finance or work stress

1:14:17.200 --> 1:14:20.439
<v Speaker 3>or whatever. But sometimes shooting the shit with a friend

1:14:20.920 --> 1:14:23.040
<v Speaker 3>does look different with your partner. Hey, they need an

1:14:23.040 --> 1:14:24.160
<v Speaker 3>event for a second.

1:14:24.240 --> 1:14:25.120
<v Speaker 2>Where are your girlfriends?

1:14:25.800 --> 1:14:29.960
<v Speaker 4>They're there too, Okay, So if you're already having those

1:14:30.000 --> 1:14:32.720
<v Speaker 4>conversations with your girlfriends, why then do you also need

1:14:32.800 --> 1:14:35.439
<v Speaker 4>to have those conversations with him. Why is because there's

1:14:35.479 --> 1:14:38.639
<v Speaker 4>a part of your intimate capacity that he is taking

1:14:39.040 --> 1:14:41.280
<v Speaker 4>so much, so that if your partner were to say,

1:14:41.439 --> 1:14:42.920
<v Speaker 4>I don't really you know, I love.

1:14:42.880 --> 1:14:47.200
<v Speaker 2>That intimate capacity. We havecity, we are humans.

1:14:47.400 --> 1:14:49.439
<v Speaker 3>I guess that that person is that important to me.

1:14:49.520 --> 1:14:51.400
<v Speaker 3>Then so is that person more important?

1:14:51.479 --> 1:14:52.800
<v Speaker 4>If your a person were to come to you right

1:14:52.800 --> 1:14:54.320
<v Speaker 4>now that you've been with for three years and say,

1:14:54.439 --> 1:14:57.840
<v Speaker 4>you know what, I love the dynamic, but I don't

1:14:57.880 --> 1:14:59.920
<v Speaker 4>want you guys to have a one on one cover roman.

1:15:00.000 --> 1:15:03.120
<v Speaker 1>I think my romantic shouldn't be placed in a hierarchy

1:15:03.280 --> 1:15:06.439
<v Speaker 1>with the other men, because again, I would be so

1:15:06.640 --> 1:15:09.920
<v Speaker 1>icked out that he and you're serious, this is what

1:15:10.000 --> 1:15:11.640
<v Speaker 1>I be mean, I know and you know what's very

1:15:11.680 --> 1:15:12.439
<v Speaker 1>difficult about it.

1:15:13.439 --> 1:15:13.880
<v Speaker 2>That is so.

1:15:15.800 --> 1:15:19.080
<v Speaker 3>We've been friends longer than my relationship, right, it probably

1:15:19.200 --> 1:15:22.320
<v Speaker 3>would uh huh sacrifice.

1:15:21.760 --> 1:15:24.960
<v Speaker 2>Him because yeah, because I'm that in love with my man. Okay,

1:15:25.040 --> 1:15:26.759
<v Speaker 2>point right, which sucks.

1:15:27.160 --> 1:15:29.560
<v Speaker 3>Well, what ended up happening is I'd be so resentful

1:15:29.800 --> 1:15:32.800
<v Speaker 3>that my man controlled my life that much. Would But

1:15:32.920 --> 1:15:34.760
<v Speaker 3>is it control and that is just the true it's

1:15:34.800 --> 1:15:35.519
<v Speaker 3>absolute control?

1:15:35.680 --> 1:15:39.000
<v Speaker 2>Or is it respect? I don't think that's control.

1:15:42.120 --> 1:15:45.560
<v Speaker 1>But you respect me, if you love me, if you

1:15:45.880 --> 1:15:49.559
<v Speaker 1>care about me again, the same way that cheating would

1:15:49.640 --> 1:15:54.200
<v Speaker 1>hurt me. Why would Why does it go differently than

1:15:54.240 --> 1:15:56.439
<v Speaker 1>you removing someone that I care about that would hurt

1:15:56.520 --> 1:15:59.559
<v Speaker 1>me for me to have to this this like this.

1:16:00.040 --> 1:16:03.160
<v Speaker 2>Don't care for respects for you and I are both different. No, no, no,

1:16:03.400 --> 1:16:05.599
<v Speaker 2>we're not. I'm not keeping it on respect. I'm talking

1:16:05.600 --> 1:16:06.439
<v Speaker 2>about hurt.

1:16:06.920 --> 1:16:10.320
<v Speaker 1>If cheating is something that would hurt you, why is

1:16:10.360 --> 1:16:13.320
<v Speaker 1>it then okay for him to set this boundary that

1:16:13.720 --> 1:16:16.519
<v Speaker 1>essentially would remove someone from your life that would hurt you.

1:16:17.280 --> 1:16:20.200
<v Speaker 1>Why why is there a hierarchy of hurt here for

1:16:20.360 --> 1:16:21.599
<v Speaker 1>what's allowed and what's not allowed.

1:16:21.640 --> 1:16:22.400
<v Speaker 2>So this is what I think.

1:16:22.560 --> 1:16:25.160
<v Speaker 4>I think that this is why it's so important, number one,

1:16:25.200 --> 1:16:27.720
<v Speaker 4>for us to know ourselves right, Because for me, there's

1:16:27.800 --> 1:16:30.400
<v Speaker 4>not a man on this planet that I would choose

1:16:30.479 --> 1:16:31.200
<v Speaker 4>over my husband.

1:16:31.720 --> 1:16:38.599
<v Speaker 2>I don't care no my husband, and this too right there,

1:16:39.120 --> 1:16:41.360
<v Speaker 2>that man I'm that man over here, But.

1:16:41.479 --> 1:16:44.120
<v Speaker 4>I am because this is your once in a lifetime

1:16:44.200 --> 1:16:47.760
<v Speaker 4>platinum needle in a haystack, swing for the fence's best friend, confidante,

1:16:47.880 --> 1:16:50.320
<v Speaker 4>lover husband Like that's not true.

1:16:50.160 --> 1:16:53.400
<v Speaker 2>But no, And that's the thing. You see it different.

1:16:53.479 --> 1:16:55.240
<v Speaker 3>So what I'm saying is you got to choose a

1:16:55.280 --> 1:16:57.200
<v Speaker 3>person that's he's the same way as you see it.

1:16:57.439 --> 1:16:59.000
<v Speaker 2>I would never choose a man.

1:16:59.600 --> 1:17:02.320
<v Speaker 4>I wouldn't never choose a man that felt like he

1:17:02.479 --> 1:17:04.720
<v Speaker 4>needed to go out with his girlfriends all the time

1:17:04.840 --> 1:17:06.719
<v Speaker 4>and then would try to play me like I'm insecure,

1:17:06.840 --> 1:17:07.320
<v Speaker 4>non negro.

1:17:07.720 --> 1:17:09.639
<v Speaker 2>I don't feel respected.

1:17:09.320 --> 1:17:11.280
<v Speaker 4>When you're out with a bunch of different women. Fact,

1:17:11.320 --> 1:17:14.040
<v Speaker 4>we have to choose the people that make the most

1:17:14.080 --> 1:17:17.040
<v Speaker 4>sense for us. And on top of that, I feel

1:17:17.160 --> 1:17:19.880
<v Speaker 4>like like, because when y'all are saying the words that

1:17:19.960 --> 1:17:22.080
<v Speaker 4>are coming out of your mouth, like this makes sense

1:17:22.160 --> 1:17:25.560
<v Speaker 4>to me in my mind, and and not not to

1:17:26.040 --> 1:17:28.720
<v Speaker 4>make a debate, but in my mind, I'm like, y'all

1:17:28.720 --> 1:17:31.160
<v Speaker 4>don't want to be married. That's that's what my my,

1:17:31.479 --> 1:17:34.720
<v Speaker 4>my underlying voice says, because ultimately, what you're saying is

1:17:35.040 --> 1:17:38.720
<v Speaker 4>there is another man that is more important than your man.

1:17:39.080 --> 1:17:42.479
<v Speaker 2>And why would your man choose horrents of going to

1:17:42.640 --> 1:17:43.000
<v Speaker 2>a bar?

1:17:43.240 --> 1:17:46.599
<v Speaker 3>Yes, frankly saying that, And I can only speak from

1:17:46.760 --> 1:17:49.519
<v Speaker 3>wanting to be married, Yes, the commitment you love. Yes,

1:17:49.640 --> 1:17:55.680
<v Speaker 3>I want, Yet I don't want to wedlock. I want

1:17:55.680 --> 1:17:57.920
<v Speaker 3>to honor each other family, to each other's families. I

1:17:58.040 --> 1:17:59.240
<v Speaker 3>love how blended we are now.

1:17:59.240 --> 1:18:01.439
<v Speaker 2>I love how we take of each other. Yes, there's no.

1:18:01.720 --> 1:18:05.360
<v Speaker 3>World where that friendship. Sorry, Andre, love you to death

1:18:06.360 --> 1:18:08.559
<v Speaker 3>means more than that. But but this is the thing

1:18:09.040 --> 1:18:11.400
<v Speaker 3>I have, the issue where he feels like I can't

1:18:11.560 --> 1:18:13.680
<v Speaker 3>walk outside and go to a bar with Weezy here.

1:18:14.000 --> 1:18:16.360
<v Speaker 3>There's not a place in his brain where he's going

1:18:16.479 --> 1:18:19.200
<v Speaker 3>like and now she's gonna suck his dick at GGR Friday.

1:18:19.280 --> 1:18:21.160
<v Speaker 2>It's not about that. It's not about.

1:18:22.800 --> 1:18:24.640
<v Speaker 4>So let me say this so because I'm glad that

1:18:24.720 --> 1:18:26.479
<v Speaker 4>you said that when you bring up your man and

1:18:26.600 --> 1:18:29.040
<v Speaker 4>you're like, there's not a peace that would act that

1:18:29.240 --> 1:18:31.240
<v Speaker 4>that would that would make me choose I'm choosing my

1:18:31.320 --> 1:18:36.160
<v Speaker 4>man over Andre, right. But you also said over time

1:18:36.520 --> 1:18:39.280
<v Speaker 4>you would resent him so much that you would end

1:18:39.360 --> 1:18:40.679
<v Speaker 4>up breaking up, meaning wait.

1:18:40.520 --> 1:18:42.720
<v Speaker 2>Wait, wait, let me finish this.

1:18:42.800 --> 1:18:45.400
<v Speaker 4>Is something wait wait wait wait no, no he didn't,

1:18:45.640 --> 1:18:47.040
<v Speaker 4>because that's the thing a marriage.

1:18:47.320 --> 1:18:49.000
<v Speaker 2>Let me tell you. Let me tell you. Look, y'all,

1:18:49.160 --> 1:18:50.920
<v Speaker 2>and I'm not trying to be a preacher. I am

1:18:50.960 --> 1:18:52.680
<v Speaker 2>not a perfect person. I do now.

1:18:52.720 --> 1:18:54.439
<v Speaker 4>I have not figured out marriage. I am not a

1:18:54.479 --> 1:18:56.560
<v Speaker 4>couple's goals. I am not black excellence. I am just

1:18:56.640 --> 1:18:59.280
<v Speaker 4>one person that is committed to my person and figuring

1:18:59.320 --> 1:19:01.280
<v Speaker 4>the shit out. But what I can tell you is

1:19:01.640 --> 1:19:05.120
<v Speaker 4>most men are terrified of marriage. Why because they fear divorced.

1:19:05.360 --> 1:19:08.000
<v Speaker 2>If you are marrying a woman that ultimately, on.

1:19:08.080 --> 1:19:11.080
<v Speaker 4>A subconscious level, is telling you that she does not

1:19:11.240 --> 1:19:13.720
<v Speaker 4>choose you all the way, that there are caveats or

1:19:14.320 --> 1:19:16.799
<v Speaker 4>conditions on the way that she chooses you, or because

1:19:16.880 --> 1:19:19.519
<v Speaker 4>you made her sacrifice something that meant something to her,

1:19:19.760 --> 1:19:21.240
<v Speaker 4>you think that's going to be the only thing you

1:19:21.280 --> 1:19:22.080
<v Speaker 4>sacrifice America.

1:19:22.160 --> 1:19:23.800
<v Speaker 2>I will tell you this flat out. I am not

1:19:23.960 --> 1:19:25.840
<v Speaker 2>scared to lose a man. I am not scared that's

1:19:25.920 --> 1:19:29.639
<v Speaker 2>the problem. And no it's not. That's the way's the problem.

1:19:31.720 --> 1:19:34.439
<v Speaker 3>But not a man always first, and then my kids

1:19:34.560 --> 1:19:37.680
<v Speaker 3>and then God, well all the way God comes through day.

1:19:40.600 --> 1:19:42.800
<v Speaker 2>But here's here's where it is. Yay, right, I'm listening.

1:19:43.520 --> 1:19:45.560
<v Speaker 2>I would probably if you told me right now my

1:19:45.680 --> 1:19:47.160
<v Speaker 2>man needs y'all.

1:19:48.360 --> 1:19:50.240
<v Speaker 1>I don't relate to nothing. I'm just over here listening

1:19:50.240 --> 1:19:55.320
<v Speaker 1>to the nuts to me everything, both of y'all.

1:19:56.760 --> 1:20:00.639
<v Speaker 2>Is this the very people? We don't wait overall time? Bitch,

1:20:00.680 --> 1:20:03.120
<v Speaker 2>we gotta do another episode and I'm just listening to

1:20:03.160 --> 1:20:04.040
<v Speaker 2>the y'all like I.

1:20:04.080 --> 1:20:07.280
<v Speaker 3>Didn't even get to wait until married. Literally literally, I

1:20:07.439 --> 1:20:08.680
<v Speaker 3>really want a part two about me.

1:20:08.800 --> 1:20:10.800
<v Speaker 2>Okay, you don't wait, hold on, let's go ahead and

1:20:10.840 --> 1:20:14.600
<v Speaker 2>do a part two. Okay, No, so we'll do a

1:20:14.640 --> 1:20:16.800
<v Speaker 2>part two. Okay, all right? Is that good for you? Start?

1:20:16.880 --> 1:20:20.920
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so guys, we will get to how she held

1:20:20.960 --> 1:20:23.120
<v Speaker 1>out on Kouchie to get married.

1:20:23.520 --> 1:20:25.679
<v Speaker 2>Y'all. Make sure y'all tune into next week's episode.

1:20:25.920 --> 1:20:27.640
<v Speaker 1>And luckily I do have some stuff for us to

1:20:27.680 --> 1:20:29.360
<v Speaker 1>have a little bit of fun with because god damn

1:20:29.800 --> 1:20:31.920
<v Speaker 1>this is I would love to be able to talk

1:20:31.960 --> 1:20:32.680
<v Speaker 1>about how I like to.

1:20:32.680 --> 1:20:34.479
<v Speaker 2>Fuck for two hours or something. Can we can?

1:20:34.520 --> 1:20:38.000
<v Speaker 1>We We'll make it fun. So guys, make sure y'all

1:20:38.080 --> 1:20:41.480
<v Speaker 1>check out next week. But we also have Sarah Fotonos

1:20:41.680 --> 1:20:47.639
<v Speaker 1>Slash Shorter Part two and our no friends haven't had.

1:20:49.160 --> 1:20:51.439
<v Speaker 1>Thank you guys for tuning in again. Come join us

1:20:51.479 --> 1:20:53.920
<v Speaker 1>next week. We got Sarah for a part two Getting

1:20:53.960 --> 1:20:56.639
<v Speaker 1>No Holds Bart go on Patreon this Patreon dot comback

1:20:56.680 --> 1:20:57.639
<v Speaker 1>slash Hordle Decisions.

1:20:57.840 --> 1:20:59.320
<v Speaker 2>We will see you bitches next week

1:21:02.240 --> 1:21:03.800
<v Speaker 4>And se