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Speaker 1: So when I was bad, I used to beg all

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Speaker 1: the because because the girls in the room would be fine.

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Speaker 2: But I come and to start making it.

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Speaker 1: But hey, they was they was okay with my three

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Speaker 1: next Yeah, they said, this bitch kind of funny.

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Speaker 2: Let's keep having her round.

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Speaker 3: Everybody thought I was breaking up with him because we

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Speaker 3: didn't did not care.

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Speaker 2: You broke up with him because you didn't get to

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Speaker 2: see him.

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Speaker 3: I felt that he had issues in his own body.

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Speaker 2: I'm crazy. Yeah, I ain't gonna hold you.

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Speaker 3: Turn it away from me, not being able to me.

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Speaker 3: Nudity is just so expressive and normal.

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Speaker 2: The decisions, decisions.

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Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of The Cion The Cions.

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Speaker 1: It'sy girl, Mandy b a k A Peg the Sallion

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Speaker 1: aka Peggy Bundy AKA That's Beach.

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Speaker 3: Hang everybody, I'm weezy. We're back with another three someome.

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Speaker 2: That is right.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if she would actually join us, though

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Speaker 1: she would actually probably be like, uh, I don't do that, y'all.

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Speaker 2: Y'all gotta give me a ring first, Can I tell

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Speaker 2: you talk?

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Speaker 3: So? Amandy sent your page? I'm like, is this the

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Speaker 3: one that wouldn't save her kids?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? That would choose my husband. I would not say no, no,

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Speaker 2: you said you could only save one. I'm shooting my son,

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Speaker 2: my husband. Y'all, we are joined. Bye.

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Speaker 1: The host of the It's Giving podcast, Sarah Fontano's dad

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Speaker 1: shorter period period, Go ahead and do bling bling bling,

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Speaker 1: but this man, So, as we're filming this, how many

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Speaker 1: days in a marriage are you?

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Speaker 2: Okay? So this is the thing.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if y'all saw it, but we actually

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Speaker 4: just hit our six month Okay, your yourage anniversary.

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Speaker 1: You kept it, you kept it, you kept it a secret,

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Speaker 1: and then you celebrated and posted it all.

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Speaker 4: But after the wedding, it's been one week with days

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Speaker 4: of today and three days.

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Speaker 2: After the wedding, okay, ten days okay?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what made you guys get married and then choose

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Speaker 1: the wedding six months later?

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. Okay, this is interesting. Okay, so what

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Speaker 4: made us get married immediately?

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Speaker 2: Hold on, no, no, no, you know what. We gotta wait.

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Speaker 1: We gotta save this, We gotta say this because we

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Speaker 1: gotta get to it. We gotta get to it.

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Speaker 2: So, y'all, we're.

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Speaker 1: Gonna do kind of a journey through Sarah's dating history

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Speaker 1: because not only do I find it. It's interesting. Let

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Speaker 1: me tell y'all how much I hate her content. And

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Speaker 1: then I met her and I said, girl, I'm mad.

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Speaker 2: I like you yo, I did.

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Speaker 1: I came up to her tonight's conversation was like, you

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Speaker 1: really believe the shit you be saying? And she kind

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Speaker 1: of looked at me and was like, you believe the

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Speaker 1: shit you'd be saying too, because we're stark differences. And

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Speaker 1: what I love too is that like as women with

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Speaker 1: sometimes similar goals, surprisingly enough sometimes we can all get

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Speaker 1: to exactly what we want, which is happiness with the

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Speaker 1: partner that we inevitably decide that we want it.

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Speaker 3: But it is important to top the episode in letting

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Speaker 3: people know that you did just get married, did just

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Speaker 3: get me married? And that context of what I was

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Speaker 3: saying is apparently, and I want you guys to know

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Speaker 3: a little bit about our guests.

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Speaker 2: You didn't have sex until marriage. Yeah, and here.

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Speaker 3: We are horrible decision decisions. There's just no holes barred

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Speaker 3: behind her head there. It's like, because I'm not gonna

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Speaker 3: hold you.

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Speaker 1: That's like probably the craziest thing, Like I'm not marrying

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Speaker 1: somebody without knowing what that did do.

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Speaker 2: And I have questions further because I need to know,

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Speaker 2: like if.

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Speaker 3: If we'll get to I think that the only thing

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Speaker 3: that would have scared me.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, maybe I.

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Speaker 4: Would it was like a thumb, but no, I'm sure

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Speaker 4: to see me. It was not a thumb.

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Speaker 1: But but okay, so you did get to see it first.

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Speaker 1: This is I feel like you could kind of see.

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Speaker 2: No, girl, I mean you didn't see it. You did.

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Speaker 2: Let me know why I asked that.

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Speaker 3: I'm actually not meaning it in a sexual way at all,

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Speaker 3: just like being around each other nudity like you're own. No.

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Speaker 4: Also, he's a huge man like that don't mean nothing

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Speaker 4: in three quarters huge, like his whole hand could he

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Speaker 4: could literally palm from one side of my waist.

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Speaker 2: To the other. I've had like seven footer with I

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Speaker 2: little need to see it. Yeah, I don't need to

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Speaker 2: taste it. I just need to see it first.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I'm not gonna hold you or at least like

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Speaker 1: y'all watching TV and you say Romeo KOCHI weezy, but

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Speaker 1: you gotta get the field test.

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Speaker 3: So I actually had an issue with a man that

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Speaker 3: dated that was celibate, and I totally respected it. He

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Speaker 3: was kind of no, Well, he was celibate for a

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Speaker 3: movie that he was writing. He didn't hadn't completed it yet,

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Speaker 3: and he was like, when I'm finished writing the script,

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Speaker 3: like I'm ready to have sex again. The one thing

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Speaker 3: I actually didn't appreciate was that he.

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Speaker 2: Wouldn't be naked around me.

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Speaker 3: And so to me, I was totally fine with nothing penetrative,

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Speaker 3: like nor or nothing. But I thought that because he

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Speaker 3: couldn't be comfortable around me, that's what I thought. I

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Speaker 3: thought it was a comfort thing. I was like, oh, yeah, no,

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Speaker 3: I can't do it. I've got to see every part

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Speaker 3: of you. That was something that in my head felt

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Speaker 3: like it made sense. So that's why I'm curious. That's

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Speaker 3: so much questions.

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Speaker 2: What I feel like.

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Speaker 4: But because men are so much usually the ones that

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Speaker 4: are like initiating the physical the naked, but for most

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Speaker 4: men and write more than women, and for me, I

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Speaker 4: would be thinking, if I'm celibate, I wouldn't want to

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Speaker 4: be around you naked, if as a man, because it

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Speaker 4: immediately those thoughts are to come up and it's like

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Speaker 4: that's what I want.

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Speaker 3: I guess I thought it was an uncomfortability he had.

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Speaker 3: And the day that I realized it was intentional. Was Oh,

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Speaker 3: we went to one of those like spot suites where

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Speaker 3: they got the cold plunge and the sun.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, right, so I'm thinking you was going to

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Speaker 2: get a change.

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Speaker 3: He went and changed privately, and I was like, all right,

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Speaker 3: that's too far from me.

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Speaker 2: That's so far like you're he could just turned his body.

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Speaker 3: I never saw him naked, and so basically when it

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Speaker 3: ended up breaking off, I was like, the sex is

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Speaker 3: not this. Everybody thought I was breaking up with him

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Speaker 3: because we didn't fuck.

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Speaker 2: Did not care. You broke up with him because you

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Speaker 2: didn't get to see his dick.

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Speaker 3: I felt that he had issues in his own body.

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Speaker 2: I'm crazy. Yeah, I ain't gonna turn it away from me.

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Speaker 3: Not being able to me nudity is just so expressive

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Speaker 3: and normal.

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Speaker 4: Oh I'm the opposite, you know, I'm the opposite. I

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Speaker 4: mean I feel like I feel like with women. With women,

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Speaker 4: I don't care, we are the same. But when it

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Speaker 4: comes to like like significant other, I'm not the friend

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Speaker 4: that's like, oh my god, let me change in front

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Speaker 4: of you. When I have men friends, I will never

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Speaker 4: change in front of you. I'm not gonna go of course.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, no, I'm not going to me. I'm not

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Speaker 2: changing in front of my male friend. Ye, it's not.

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Speaker 2: It's not you don't get women different. I mean my

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Speaker 2: gay male friends. Yes, I don't know. I'm not even

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Speaker 2: the game al friend. I don't know. Maybe yeah, probably,

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know, Okay, Okay.

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Speaker 4: Also, we're in show business, so there's also like if

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Speaker 4: we're getting miked or like whatever like that.

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Speaker 3: I think that there are parameters. I guess you could say,

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Speaker 3: but I don't know.

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Speaker 4: And Nude Beaches, I feel like Nude Beaches is mostly

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Speaker 4: like old people here for it.

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Speaker 3: Like culturally speaking too, did you grow up in a

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Speaker 3: naked house?

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Speaker 2: Could I do? No?

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Speaker 3: My mom, Yeah that's a naked house. Oh yeah yeah.

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Speaker 2: Now you're Canadian?

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Speaker 1: Yes, so do you have different Is it different being

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Speaker 1: a Canadian?

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Speaker 2: I know it's still like North America?

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Speaker 3: But what bruh is it? You almost didn't say Canadian?

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Speaker 3: You said, is it different being a Canada?

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Speaker 2: Canadian? Like you Canadian?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 2: And Drake is kind of like us? We don't know.

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Speaker 2: Apparently he's not like us, he's kind of like us.

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Speaker 1: But growing up in Canada, were there different like ways

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Speaker 1: in which you go about traditionally dating, like what was

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Speaker 1: what was your house like?

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Speaker 2: Growing up?

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Speaker 4: Well, there aren't a lot of black people where I'm

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Speaker 4: from because not only my Canadian I'm from Saskatchewan, Regina,

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Speaker 4: Saskatchewan actually a no no. But I did cariyan as

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Speaker 4: my whole life. Like, okay, we we definitely have a

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Speaker 4: community there. But I'm Native American and black. Okay that's

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Speaker 4: the question.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So it was completely different.

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Speaker 4: And what I realized when I go back and I

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Speaker 4: have conversations with young black women or nieces or whoever,

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Speaker 4: They're like, we don't date black men because the black

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Speaker 4: men that they have the choices of there aren't. There

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Speaker 4: aren't like American black people in Canada, there are usually

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Speaker 4: Africans or they are the same mixed up as us.

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Speaker 4: So I feel like growing up or being in America

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Speaker 4: is probably very similar to how like a mixed kid

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Speaker 4: would feel. How do I identify? Do I identify with

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Speaker 4: the black side or the white side. I'm not saying

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Speaker 4: that I'm mixed. I'm saying that I hear all the

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Speaker 4: time when people say things like, oh my god, you're

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Speaker 4: so different, You're so different, and I don't know what

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Speaker 4: that means. Because I have no reference point. I didn't

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Speaker 4: grow up here. But even moving to Atlanta, I've seen

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Speaker 4: weird caddy things that I haven't experienced since I was

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Speaker 4: in high school. Like what you know, oh, girls trying

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Speaker 4: to talk bad about your gossip about your drag, your name.

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Speaker 2: And they don't gossip in Canada. I don't know. I honestly,

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Speaker 2: I don't know. Wait, there's no fucking way. I don't know,

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Speaker 2: not in my not I don't even.

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Speaker 3: Know gossiping was. Until I became an adult, I was

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Speaker 3: like white.

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Speaker 1: People, Yeah, you thought gossip it was a black people

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Speaker 1: think kind.

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Speaker 2: I grew up black.

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Speaker 3: Actually in Atlanta, Grandma were sitting outside and they were

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Speaker 3: walked by.

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Speaker 2: Of course we're talking about her.

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Speaker 3: You thought it was Literally if I hear someone mumble

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Speaker 3: I think we're gossiping, I can't hear him.

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Speaker 2: What I don't think, Like that's what we do. That's crazy,

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Speaker 2: That is crazy, That is crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm

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Speaker 2: a little crazy. I think.

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Speaker 3: I think that's an observation though, like like it.

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Speaker 2: Was your mom and dad together in the household.

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Speaker 4: Yes, even now, like like so, my my parents kind

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Speaker 4: of ruined me a little bit, to be honest.

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Speaker 2: Oh, let's get into it.

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Speaker 4: TRUMPA so it yes, but no and no, but yes.

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Speaker 4: What I mean by that is I've never seen my

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Speaker 4: parents fight my whole life.

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Speaker 2: Oh never not.

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Speaker 4: And because I never saw my parents fight, I thought

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Speaker 4: that when I fought getting into relationships, I was broken.

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Speaker 4: Something was wrong with me because I never saw them fight.

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Speaker 4: I never experienced repair. I didn't know what it meant

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Speaker 4: to fix a problem or an issue in a relationship

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Speaker 4: because from my perspective at that young age and that vantage.

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Speaker 2: Point, they didn't. You don't. You don't fight.

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Speaker 3: If you fight, you're broken. There's something wrong with you

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Speaker 3: about broken. But I actually agree, I would never fight

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Speaker 3: in front of my kids. My parents barely fight. From me,

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Speaker 3: I barely saw it. Yeah, I think it's appropriate, Like

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Speaker 3: kids don't need to be in Have you seen those

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Speaker 3: memes where it's like we all experience this and it's

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Speaker 3: like parents walking in like come on, we're leaving your

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Speaker 3: dad and da da, and they like tussle back and

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Speaker 3: forth and Dad's like go back to sleep.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, no, I didn't experience that. No, I didn't.

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Speaker 2: Oh girl, my daddy went to jail for being my mama.

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Speaker 1: Then one of the boyfriends had to be gone, and

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Speaker 1: she called my cousins over.

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Speaker 2: They came over with pots and pants.

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Speaker 1: As it was like, Nikki, you got forgot, like we

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Speaker 1: didn't chase my mama boyfriends out the house before crazy

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Speaker 1: crazy times over here.

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Speaker 3: See, I feel like that's almost shape that relationships are bad.

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Speaker 1: I mean to me, I've and I think that that's

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Speaker 1: why we've talked about like I've never grown up seeing

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Speaker 1: a healthy relationship. I will say also, though from the

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Speaker 1: vantage point of view, you both not seeing confrontation and

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Speaker 1: resolve also gave you a false perception of a healthy

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Speaker 1: relationship that may not have been healthy, and so you

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Speaker 1: didn't have also the tools to see. Okay, Well, I

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Speaker 1: got to see my parents work through something. Literally, it

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Speaker 1: wasn't visible for you.

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Speaker 4: It wasn't until I was an adult where I was like, Mom,

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Speaker 4: did you and Dad ever fight?

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Speaker 2: And my mom was like, we fought all the time.

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Speaker 4: We just waited for y'all to go to sleep. Like

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Speaker 4: they never fought in front of us. They always fought

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Speaker 4: behind closed doors. So I feel like now, if or

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Speaker 4: when God sees fit to give us a child, I

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Speaker 4: want to.

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Speaker 2: Be in the middle. Now.

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Speaker 4: I'm never gonna cuss I don't even believe in speaking

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Speaker 4: in my man a certain way. There's certain things it's

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Speaker 4: just not on the table for me. I'm not a yeller.

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Speaker 4: I'm not gonna cuss him out. I'm not gonna call

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Speaker 4: him out his name. That's not who I am. But

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Speaker 4: if I'm really frustrated, my energy is really heavy, Like

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Speaker 4: you could feel me down the block.

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Speaker 3: That's how jacked up my energy could be. And that's

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Speaker 3: good or bad?

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Speaker 4: Right, I'm in a positive or negative You don't feel

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Speaker 4: it right, So I feel like what I get to

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Speaker 4: learn is how to Yes, it's okay for us to disagree. Yes,

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Speaker 4: it's okay for us to passionately feel opposite. And I

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Speaker 4: still love you and I don't agree with you, but

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Speaker 4: I can understand what you're saying.

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Speaker 2: I can validate what you're saying.

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Speaker 4: So now our children get to see mom and dad

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Speaker 4: as Oh they're not perfect, right, they have issues, they

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Speaker 4: have problems, but they work them out.

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Speaker 3: Did you do premarital counsel Yeah? We did, did you well?

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Speaker 4: Actually no, we were already married doing counseling because we

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Speaker 4: literally went friend to marriage and we went we went

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Speaker 4: friend married, engaged, engagement party bridal shower wedding.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy. Yeah, we did everything backwards?

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Speaker 1: Can we now you did everything backwards with this one?

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Speaker 1: But this ain't your first ring? No, so can.

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Speaker 2: We get to this is your third ring? Third time?

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Speaker 2: That's what they said.

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Speaker 3: You know, I've been engaged twice and this time actually

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Speaker 3: wasn't engaged.

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Speaker 2: I was just married. She said, fucking engagement. That thing

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Speaker 2: is bad. Look, I don't feel I feel like I'm

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Speaker 2: when I tell you.

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Speaker 4: I feel like people put so much on fiance, but

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Speaker 4: a fiance is a glorified girlfriend who there's no safety

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Speaker 4: inside of fiance.

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Speaker 2: There's no there's no that issue because there was no

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Speaker 2: real comment.

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Speaker 3: I think that we just, oh, we're so pessimistic about relationships.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes I agree, like me too, Like literally, I've said

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Speaker 3: the same thing. I'm like, he's still cheating, like I'm

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Speaker 3: saying that. But I think it does It shows people that, like, hey,

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Speaker 3: I'm ready to go that next mile. I think a

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Speaker 3: marriage is expensive, it.

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Speaker 2: Doesn't have to be. I got married at the courthouse.

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Speaker 2: I would get married.

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Speaker 4: My man said, you deserve a wedding, And at first

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Speaker 4: we're gonna get married in the backyard, and then he

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Speaker 4: was like nah, you deserve a wedding. So then then

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Speaker 4: it turned into creating what we created, and we still

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Speaker 4: didn't spend that much money.

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Speaker 2: People be talking about, oh my my wedding was now.

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Speaker 4: Look like it was a lot of money. But your girl,

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Speaker 4: I don't. I don't operate that way. But I do

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Speaker 4: think that why I say it's a glorified girlfriend is

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Speaker 4: because there are so many people that get rings that

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Speaker 4: never make it to the altar, or they just really

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Speaker 4: some people are just giving their girls ring so they'll

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Speaker 4: stop talking about it.

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Speaker 2: Or because they got they got a baby on the way.

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Speaker 3: Period said what, I always got friends that are going

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Speaker 3: through some trouble.

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Speaker 2: No, a lot of our friends. I ain't gonna hold

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Speaker 2: you in twenty twenty six.

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Speaker 1: If you're about to have a baby and your man

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Speaker 1: proposed to you, just know he's not gonna be there

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Speaker 1: when the baby six months.

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Speaker 2: I'm telling you it is it's literally, it is a curse.

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Speaker 2: It is a curse.

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Speaker 1: Do not let your man or future baby daddy propose

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Speaker 1: to you at the baby shower because it is a

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Speaker 1: curse and you will never get married and you're gonna

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Speaker 1: be a single mama.

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Speaker 4: I think that if you're engaged for longer than two years,

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Speaker 4: you probably ain't gonna get married. Uh oh, I agree

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Speaker 4: with that point because it's a dang. But engagement is

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Speaker 4: the time in which you go from girlfriend and boyfriend

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Speaker 4: to husband and wife.

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Speaker 2: Why would you have a long engagement period. What is

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Speaker 2: the point?

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Speaker 3: I guess because they want this elaborate wedding. But then

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Speaker 3: the more like it talks to people that have engaged

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Speaker 3: for years, I was.

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Speaker 2: Like, Okay, well, what's the hold up?

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Speaker 4: We don't really know what we want to do, and

354
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Speaker 4: she don't like you. Y'all don't like each other. They

355
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Speaker 4: don't really want to get married.

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Speaker 2: You just want to This is the thing too. And

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Speaker 2: look I might get eating alive. You know me, I

358
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Speaker 2: have my But I don't think. I think there are

359
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Speaker 2: so many women that don't even like their men. They

360
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Speaker 2: just don't. They just want to have one. They want

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Speaker 2: to be able to tell her they gonna be like.

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Speaker 4: They just want their women friends to know somebody chose me.

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Speaker 4: I'm worth being chosen. I'm in a relationship. Now, Look

364
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Speaker 4: how good I am?

365
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Speaker 2: Look? Oh, I'm gonna it's all. It's all, you know.

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Speaker 3: I don't blame the women that feel that I have

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Speaker 3: a friend of mine that moved super fast into a relationship.

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Speaker 3: Actually is making me think about what you were saying,

369
00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:59,720
Speaker 3: because just found out a person as ed. That's what

370
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,480
Speaker 3: erectile dysfunction? Like?

371
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Speaker 2: What if what if your husband had ed? You ain't? No?

372
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Speaker 2: Would would you call off the wedding? Would you get

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Speaker 2: it annulled? If ed? Bak, she ain't find out she married?

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Speaker 1: Okay, Oh, hypothetical, let's go since you're talking about husband

375
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Speaker 1: and kids falling into the ocean. So hypothetical question. You

376
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Speaker 1: wait to have sex until marriage. Okay, you get married

377
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:35,360
Speaker 1: and you find out your now husband has a rectile dysfunction?

378
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,360
Speaker 3: How dysfunctional is that you see by having a shot

379
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:39,240
Speaker 3: on sex in the city?

380
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:43,440
Speaker 2: Yet, bro, So do you.

381
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,520
Speaker 1: Work through the marriage and either open it up or

382
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,480
Speaker 1: get him an extender? Or what what do you do

383
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,960
Speaker 1: to stay in the marriage or do you annul the

384
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,080
Speaker 1: marriage because you cannot move forward because you need to.

385
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,160
Speaker 2: Work and get a surgery you can get that you can't.

386
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,480
Speaker 2: There's no search for d No, there's a surgery that can.

387
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,400
Speaker 2: You could pump. Oh, so you'll pump your dick every time,

388
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:06,119
Speaker 2: so you're you're.

389
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:09,119
Speaker 4: Pumping, you pump pump that pump it up of the power,

390
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,560
Speaker 4: stop stumping.

391
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,760
Speaker 2: And that jam is pumping. I ain't gonna hold you.

392
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,359
Speaker 3: God, I'd be like, are you ready to get right?

393
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Speaker 1: I would to me and my husband getting a boyfriend.

394
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,040
Speaker 1: You are not making me pump, y'all dick every time

395
00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:27,320
Speaker 1: I want to get fucked, y'all already learned. I'd like

396
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Speaker 1: to get fucked for two hours. What if we got

397
00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,440
Speaker 1: to pump in between every two hours?

398
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Speaker 2: Girl? What are you doing for girl? Everything? There is

399
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:35,240
Speaker 2: a lot to do.

400
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,480
Speaker 3: This bit walked in here today with that two hours

401
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:42,560
Speaker 3: ship every two hours. When I said this podcast, whatever

402
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,080
Speaker 3: you said, you gotta fuck me in all the yays.

403
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,680
Speaker 3: So I don't want to fuck again, she said, because

404
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,040
Speaker 3: I don't want to have to call another dick.

405
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:50,240
Speaker 2: Like I want to.

406
00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:52,960
Speaker 1: I want to fuck, like I literally want to fuck

407
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,520
Speaker 1: so hard than when we're done, I feel like, bitch,

408
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:56,880
Speaker 1: I don't need dick for another month.

409
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Speaker 2: Okay, so two hours and then you have a break.

410
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,720
Speaker 1: Well, no, because if he's in town for a couple

411
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,680
Speaker 1: of days, we're fucking two hours every time we fucked.

412
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Speaker 1: But then when he's gone, I'd be like the wait

413
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:11,800
Speaker 1: for like, I don't because I don't. I love it

414
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,120
Speaker 1: because then I could be around niggas and not even

415
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,280
Speaker 1: see them. I show my man and he was like,

416
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,879
Speaker 1: how funny is that? And cut this clip and he

417
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,639
Speaker 1: was watching it. I was like, isn't she crazy? And

418
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:22,800
Speaker 1: he was like, no, I think I could do this too.

419
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,800
Speaker 1: And I'm like, what.

420
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Speaker 2: Y'all don't fuck for two hours? No running from the

421
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,160
Speaker 2: big anywhere? Oh I don't.

422
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,400
Speaker 3: Oh wait wait wait the girl with Edie, Oh yeah

423
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,240
Speaker 3: wait wait so close close friend of mine and she

424
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,520
Speaker 3: literally was like fuck, I cannot believe close close.

425
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Speaker 2: And ship take them back, don't that bitch?

426
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:47,680
Speaker 3: So basically what happened was she's like, now I'm stuck

427
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:48,800
Speaker 3: in this thing where.

428
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:51,879
Speaker 2: I moved too fast. I kind of.

429
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,439
Speaker 3: Thought the beginning stages was maybe we were, you know,

430
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 3: going to dinner, having drinks. Maybe that's why. And I

431
00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:01,320
Speaker 3: was like, this has to do with apps. You wanting

432
00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 3: a man that fucking bad, because otherwise you wouldn't have

433
00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:07,080
Speaker 3: ended up in this. You would have been able to

434
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:11,239
Speaker 3: pace yourself, have fun. The larger issue around this is

435
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,119
Speaker 3: you met a man that wants to induce you to

436
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,680
Speaker 3: his family, met a man that wants to take you

437
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,240
Speaker 3: on vacation, you met a man that saying all the

438
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:20,119
Speaker 3: right things. All of this stuff feels so exciting to

439
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:25,160
Speaker 3: you because the feeling of being chosen is so intoxicated.

440
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,320
Speaker 3: That's it, And I really believe it's because it's not.

441
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,160
Speaker 3: And I said to her, it's not even your fault.

442
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,679
Speaker 3: A society makes you feel by being chosen. I can

443
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:40,240
Speaker 3: even tell you right now, the way that my friends

444
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,440
Speaker 3: that are in couples I've been dating my boyfriend three years,

445
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 3: the way my friends are in couples have just my

446
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,919
Speaker 3: homegirls that ended up getting a boyfriend while I was single.

447
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,440
Speaker 2: They've come back into my.

448
00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:52,399
Speaker 3: Life in ways that I'm just like, damn, how did

449
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,640
Speaker 3: I start hanging with her again? And I'm like, oh,

450
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 3: because now I'm comfortable for you to be around crazy easy.

451
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:01,399
Speaker 3: Wasn't enough when I was like bouncing around and doing

452
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,560
Speaker 3: this or just living my life and enjoying my solo time.

453
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,280
Speaker 3: Now I'm acceptable for your nigga to let you hang

454
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:08,679
Speaker 3: around me.

455
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,240
Speaker 1: Like I know what this is. I'm still doing the

456
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,160
Speaker 1: same shit with my man. I don't like it because

457
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,879
Speaker 1: even when I had a boyfriend, my friends was still you.

458
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:15,199
Speaker 2: To me?

459
00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:17,680
Speaker 1: Is the is the excuse when they were doing some bullshit.

460
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,399
Speaker 1: I was like, I got a man, Why am I

461
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,359
Speaker 1: still the whole friend? I just never got it.

462
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:23,960
Speaker 2: Wait, what do you mean?

463
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:27,200
Speaker 3: So when you say, you're saying now it's more acceptable for.

464
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,520
Speaker 1: You for her friends to now like her friends are

465
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,359
Speaker 1: now back in the circle because when she was single,

466
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 1: she was too much around her friends.

467
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,080
Speaker 2: I think that they didn't trust you around their men.

468
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,199
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no no, I did any more, so

469
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:38,879
Speaker 3: their men.

470
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,560
Speaker 2: Didn't trust her around the girls.

471
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,359
Speaker 3: And so when I say things changed about my life, Sarah,

472
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:48,160
Speaker 3: every single part of well, when I say euro every summer,

473
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,520
Speaker 3: like going to South Africa, bopping around partying, like I do,

474
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:53,600
Speaker 3: I do the exact same thing I did as when

475
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,360
Speaker 3: I was single. I just do it with my man now.

476
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 3: But somehow there's a validation that women feel when it's

477
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,439
Speaker 3: someone else is in a relationship.

478
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:04,000
Speaker 2: Oh, I get invited to more like things in the house.

479
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 3: So you couldn't invite me to you and your husband's

480
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:11,960
Speaker 3: house when I was single, No, because it's just their relationship.

481
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,119
Speaker 2: Is this stamp of approval for everybody?

482
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 3: I see it in business, even like since I've started

483
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:22,440
Speaker 3: new businesses. Just even the man in your life makes

484
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,439
Speaker 3: other people feel like you're a more serious person. How

485
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 3: dare you be single? How dare you be enjoying having

486
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:32,440
Speaker 3: fun being solo? Oh look at her again by herself

487
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 3: at the bar.

488
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 2: McK whatever.

489
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,600
Speaker 1: Ah, bitch, I'll be having three boyfriends, and y'all don't

490
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:38,399
Speaker 1: think i'd be serious.

491
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:39,040
Speaker 2: Y'all don't like that.

492
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:42,719
Speaker 3: I think no matter what relationships, it's just like here

493
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 3: she go again, y'all.

494
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,640
Speaker 1: I've been single in five years, so I don't know.

495
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 1: I've been single since pre pandemic. But you have three boyfriends.

496
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 1: That's like having none.

497
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:57,959
Speaker 2: No bitch around. I don't like, no one's gonna take

498
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 2: it serious. I'm just telling y'all with the serious news.

499
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:03,919
Speaker 2: I have not been single since twenty nineteen. Thank you.

500
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,359
Speaker 3: That is not a hot take. I really believe this.

501
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:10,320
Speaker 3: If you're single or in an ethically non monogamous relationship,

502
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:12,920
Speaker 3: people treat you the same, like, oh, shoot, it's a phase,

503
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:13,639
Speaker 3: should get over it.

504
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 2: So you should still be getting treated the same.

505
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,280
Speaker 1: I do want to ask get back getting back to

506
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:27,880
Speaker 1: your story, Sarah, you've had three.

507
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:31,360
Speaker 2: Rings, yeah, the first ring, yeah.

508
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 1: I want to go through that because maybe now that's

509
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,040
Speaker 1: why you went straight from friend to marriage because of

510
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:36,160
Speaker 1: the PTSD.

511
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:36,160
Speaker 2: Of your lives.

512
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:40,840
Speaker 1: Two engagements, but your first relationship, how old were you?

513
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 1: Can you walk us through navigating that first engagement at

514
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:47,119
Speaker 1: a young age and also how you escaped the relationship.

515
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:50,359
Speaker 3: Yes, so I was eighteen. We were together for two years.

516
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:55,159
Speaker 4: We were engaged in that two years, and he was

517
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:56,439
Speaker 4: a professional football player.

518
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 3: I was a professional cheerleader. We were the dream team.

519
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 4: We were so a doable and also low key because

520
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,159
Speaker 4: the cheerleaders weren't allowed to date the players. But the

521
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 4: caveat is shout out to my mother. My mom used

522
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,640
Speaker 4: to invite a lot of the black players to our

523
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 4: house and cook for them because I had brothers and

524
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 4: so she was like, this is like an American.

525
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:19,480
Speaker 2: My mom is like anti Pam.

526
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:23,160
Speaker 4: Everybody in the Yeah, everybody in the community knew my mom,

527
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:26,119
Speaker 4: and he knew everybody. It was a very small almost

528
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:28,160
Speaker 4: all the black people knew each other. We were at

529
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,600
Speaker 4: the Caribbean Club every weekend doing a performance. I was

530
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 4: playing steel drums, I was in dance class and did

531
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 4: all of these So it wasn't weird for us to

532
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:40,119
Speaker 4: have all these people over. And I actually used to

533
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:42,919
Speaker 4: have a thing because my sister was. She's actually married

534
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 4: to the MVP of the CFL, and he played in

535
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,080
Speaker 4: the league as well.

536
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 2: So the committee of the college foot just.

537
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,240
Speaker 4: Like Canada's NFL got it. And then he also played

538
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 4: in the NFL. So his friends would come over with

539
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:57,639
Speaker 4: him to the house. And I used to be like,

540
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,960
Speaker 4: all these little wax football players think they somebody.

541
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 2: Because this was the thing. When you're back home.

542
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:07,959
Speaker 4: The Saskatchewan rough Riders, they are there's an air that

543
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:13,679
Speaker 4: they have and women throw themselves like they they running

544
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,159
Speaker 4: through women like water down a stream.

545
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,280
Speaker 2: Okay, it is they are, it is.

546
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:22,359
Speaker 4: It's non stop, right, And so I was always like never,

547
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:26,399
Speaker 4: like no, never, never, never, never never anyway.

548
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,919
Speaker 1: Not She was saying never at sixteen seventeen, because you

549
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:29,919
Speaker 1: got them at eighteen and.

550
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:35,159
Speaker 4: They're all pleassure did And then it was crazy because

551
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 4: what I think, what you're referring to is he almost

552
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:38,679
Speaker 4: paralyzed me.

553
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:40,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would yeah up.

554
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 4: And it only happened one time. Really, it only happened

555
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:45,520
Speaker 4: one time.

556
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:50,440
Speaker 1: And to be honest, how did it only because men suck?

557
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 1: Women suck, especially in the comments, and so men would

558
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:54,920
Speaker 1: be like, well, what did you do to make them

559
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 1: do that?

560
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:56,359
Speaker 2: And women want to know.

561
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 1: Like how did it get to that point, especially because

562
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,679
Speaker 1: there were no sign right and luckily for you you

563
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 1: didn't stay after that one time, But what how did

564
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 1: you get there?

565
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,639
Speaker 4: How did that happen? To this day, I still don't know.

566
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,879
Speaker 4: I think he snapped, that's what my mother says. But

567
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 4: long story short, like an eighteen year old immature woman,

568
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,440
Speaker 4: we were fighting and we had broke up. Put him out,

569
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 4: you go do whatever you gonna do, whatever, whatever, But

570
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:21,920
Speaker 4: we were still sleeping together.

571
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 2: We were still dealing with each other.

572
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 4: And so I used to work for this company that

573
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 4: we got cars for, so I would teach kids traffic

574
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,960
Speaker 4: safety and show parents how to correctly and sell car seats.

575
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 4: And so I'd travel all over the province in the

576
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 4: work car with like stickers on it and show do that.

577
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:40,160
Speaker 2: So while I was.

578
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 4: Gone, he would drive my car, okay, And so it's

579
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:47,159
Speaker 4: crazy because it was Saturday and he knew that on

580
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 4: this Saturday, I'm coming to pick up my car. And

581
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 4: so I called and I said, hey, I'm on the way,

582
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 4: and he's like, no, don't come over right now.

583
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 2: And I'm me being me.

584
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 4: First of all, yes over there, and I'm like why

585
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:00,640
Speaker 4: do you company?

586
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 2: And he was like, no, I don't have company.

587
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:04,359
Speaker 4: So for me, I'm like, that don't make no sense,

588
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 4: Like what are you talking about if I'm on the way,

589
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:11,400
Speaker 4: Like I'm currently on the way to you. So long

590
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 4: story short, I get to the apartment, I go up

591
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 4: on the stairs because you had to use the fob

592
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 4: to get into the elevator, but at that time you

593
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:21,080
Speaker 4: could still work the stairway, yea. So I go up

594
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,399
Speaker 4: the stairs and when I get there, he's talking to

595
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 4: me on the phone in the hallway and I'm like,

596
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 4: why are you in the hallway. Let's go inside. So

597
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:31,919
Speaker 4: I go to open the door. The door's locked, and

598
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 4: I'm like, what's going on? And when I tell you

599
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 4: this man, this is the first part of it happened,

600
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,920
Speaker 4: he like he snapped, He got in my face, like

601
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 4: I was some trick on the street that owed him money,

602
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,880
Speaker 4: Like it was crazy. And I used to do this

603
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 4: thing with people where I would like touch their face

604
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 4: and be like, oh my god, like they're so beautiful,

605
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:50,920
Speaker 4: just looking like I always used to have a thing.

606
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 4: And I said his name and I was like hey,

607
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 4: and he hit me in my face. When he hit

608
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 4: me in my face, I saw black. All I saw

609
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:00,280
Speaker 4: was red. When I tell you and I to be

610
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 4: suited and beuted, heels on all the time, makeup done,

611
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 4: hair done, everything, I took off my heels and I

612
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 4: just started screaming. Now we're in the hallway, right right,

613
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,400
Speaker 4: the hallway, So people could hear it. Oh, I'm sure

614
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 4: they had to them. There's no way they couldn't because

615
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:19,439
Speaker 4: all I was screaming was you're kind of that's I

616
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,400
Speaker 4: couldn't believe what was happening, right, So when I kind

617
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 4: of came back to real life, I said, open this

618
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:28,160
Speaker 4: door and taking my stuff. I cussed at the time,

619
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,480
Speaker 4: cussed a lot, playing a lot of that at that time.

620
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 4: I'm taking my stuff and I'm going. And so he says,

621
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:37,639
Speaker 4: Alicia opened the door. Now, now he called out another

622
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,399
Speaker 4: woman on the other side of the dog, who was

623
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,880
Speaker 4: my friend. By the way, Oh, we gotta kill down.

624
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 1: Yeah wait a second, yeah, he was, Yeah, he had

625
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 1: your friend in his house.

626
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, so this is the thing, he said. She was

627
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,000
Speaker 4: just twisting my hair because.

628
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 2: He had dreads.

629
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 4: So I'm like, oh, okay, bet, no problem, it's all good,

630
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 4: it's all cool.

631
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:55,920
Speaker 2: Whatever.

632
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,200
Speaker 4: So I go inside and it was a normal apartment,

633
00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 4: one bedroom apartment. You walk in, you know, the TV's

634
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 4: on that side, the kitchens right here, bedroom is right there.

635
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,159
Speaker 4: I'd be lined straight to the bedroom because I know

636
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 4: that the night sand is probably where my keys are at.

637
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 4: When I go to get my keys off of the

638
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 4: night stand, there's bengals.

639
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:19,440
Speaker 2: Not her. Oh now she's the jewelry two. She's sitting

640
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 2: on the couch and she knows. Wait, but the Bengals

641
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:22,640
Speaker 2: are in the bedroom.

642
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 4: But the Bengals are in the you know you can't

643
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:29,200
Speaker 4: know already know, So I'm I'm talking smack from the bedroom.

644
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:32,159
Speaker 4: Oh what are these bengals doing right here? She was

645
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 4: only doing your hair if she just got here this morning.

646
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 4: So this man comes into the room, and then he

647
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 4: snapped again. Now he's a defensive defensive lineman.

648
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 2: I'm not great with this is not a sports podcast. Yes, okay, great.

649
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 3: He's two hundred and fifty pounds of solid muscle.

650
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 2: He is strong.

651
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 4: He's six foot I don't know, probably two and strong

652
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:58,600
Speaker 4: as hell. Straight, just ripped everything, tackles me onto the

653
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 4: bed and starts like kind of with his arm on

654
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 4: my neck, trying to rip the keys out of my hand.

655
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 4: I still have scars on my hands from this day

656
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,400
Speaker 4: from where he was trying to get the keys out. Anyway,

657
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 4: I end up doing all of this, getting out, kicking him,

658
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 4: falling off the.

659
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 3: Back of the bed. This is where he grabs my legs.

660
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 4: He mocked me, like with my feet, like was throwing

661
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 4: me up against everything in this moment. I finally when

662
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:27,520
Speaker 4: he like slipped a leg, I kicked him in his face.

663
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 2: Pretty sure, I'm on the ground, he's on top of me.

664
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,440
Speaker 2: I kick him. Maybe I didn't get his face. I

665
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 2: don't know what I can. I just kicked right now.

666
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 4: This is the stupid part for me, And this is

667
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 4: also where I got the most jacked up. That was

668
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 4: the worst part of why my body is where my

669
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 4: body is today. But instead of running with the keys,

670
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 4: what I did was and Alicia is she's not even helping.

671
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 2: She's not.

672
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:53,320
Speaker 4: Oh, while I'm getting dragged and mocked on the floor,

673
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 4: she comes and peeks in the room and goes back

674
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 4: into the living room. So then instead of me leaving,

675
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 4: which is where I went wrong, I own it accountability,

676
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 4: I own it. I shouldn't ever went there. I knew

677
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 4: he had company he had but you were young, Yes,

678
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 4: I was young. But also, I mean, I'm grateful because

679
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 4: in my in my experience, I also felt like that

680
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 4: was God telling me, not him, this ain't for you,

681
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 4: This isn't for you.

682
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 2: You know.

683
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 4: So long a story short, I exit, I go into

684
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 4: the living room. So now I'm in the living room

685
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 4: and he had a big thing with electronics. He had

686
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 4: a big TV right here. And now I'm on the

687
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 4: opposite side, you know what I mean. So I'm there's

688
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:32,800
Speaker 4: like a window behind me, couches right here, little couch

689
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 4: right there, TV right here, and he had a big

690
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:38,200
Speaker 4: thing with electronics. And I said, if you take what,

691
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:41,000
Speaker 4: I pick up his computer and I'm like, there's blood

692
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 4: dripping down my face. I'm jacked up, and I say,

693
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 4: if you take one step towards me, I swear to

694
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 4: God I'll smash it. And he bum rushes me. So

695
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 4: I threw his computer on the ground. He picks me up,

696
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 4: he throws me on the couch and he starts shaking me.

697
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 4: While I'm on the couch, He's on top of me

698
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 4: and he's screaming what the fuck like over and over

699
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 4: and over again. And finally, Alisha, who is sitting right

700
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 4: there while I'm right here on this couch. She says

701
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 4: his name, and then and then he like snapped out

702
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 4: of it, and he he like kind of sat a

703
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:14,560
Speaker 4: little bit on my legs, but not all the way,

704
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 4: and he started crying in his hands, and I slunk

705
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 4: off of the couch and I left, and I remember

706
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 4: calling my mom and.

707
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 2: I was so hysterical.

708
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 4: I was like, like, I don't I don't even feel

709
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 4: like this is a wound for me, but I feel

710
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 4: like like I'm I'm emotional about it because I remember

711
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 4: my mom's hysteria.

712
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 2: Like my mom was like, what is wrong? Like what

713
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 2: is like?

714
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 4: I don't under to this day, I don't even think

715
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 4: my dad knows, because my dad would be in prison.

716
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,360
Speaker 4: He does not play about me, any of his kids.

717
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 4: He does not play about me. And I made her

718
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 4: swear to see because you can't. I just kept saying,

719
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 4: you can't kill that. I think she must have thought

720
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 4: I was gonna be I killed someone, I you know whatever.

721
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 4: But yeah, that was a lot. And then I didn't

722
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 4: tell anybody. And shortly after that's when I moved to La.

723
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:09,440
Speaker 4: I had gotten accepted into a conservatory for acting, and

724
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 4: that was one of the reasons why I was like,

725
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 4: I can't do it.

726
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 2: And when I tell you for months, did you talk

727
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 2: to him after that?

728
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 4: No, okay, I ain't spoken to him since. When I

729
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:22,440
Speaker 4: tell you it hurt to sleep, it hurt to lay

730
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 4: down flat on my back. I went to the doctor.

731
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 4: I told him I slipped and I fell down the stairs.

732
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 4: Because at that time I didn't want to say, oh

733
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 4: my God, like me, you getting emotional about your mom

734
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,239
Speaker 4: is taking me back. The only time that man ever

735
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 4: hit me was same Adrian eighteen twenty. And the memory

736
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 4: I had that really made me lave him was my

737
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:48,360
Speaker 4: mom begging him to not hit me anymore. It's just

738
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 4: something about her desperation, yes that, I was like. She

739
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 4: also didn't know, so I never told her he was

740
00:32:56,480 --> 00:33:00,960
Speaker 4: throwing a party at his house. And whenever she saw

741
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 4: in me how fearful I looked. She pulled him in

742
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:07,040
Speaker 4: the laundry room and she pulled me in there too,

743
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 4: and she was like she got on her knees and

744
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 4: I was like, please, please, anything, please come. My mom

745
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,000
Speaker 4: knew I didn't want to come back home. My family

746
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 4: was going through financial hardship at the time. He was

747
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,480
Speaker 4: taking care of me. She was like, she'll never leave you.

748
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 4: She's never gonna leave you. Just please don't hear my daughter. Please,

749
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 4: She didn't grow up like this. Her father is a

750
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 4: good man. She's never even seen anything like this. I

751
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 4: grew up like this. And she was like, I can't

752
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 4: I can't watch it happen again. And my mom's crying

753
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 4: and he's like, get up, blah blah blah blah. And

754
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 4: he's like talking to my mom crazy, and I'm getting

755
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 4: scared because I'm scared what if I say something, if

756
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 4: he gonna hite me in front of my mom? And

757
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:42,760
Speaker 4: shortly after that, I don't think I stayed with him

758
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 4: a month after. But seeing and feeling.

759
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 3: Your mom's love through a moment where you're going through it,

760
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 3: think about now we're adults where we could have kids, right,

761
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 3: and if we had oh, y'all could have kids.

762
00:33:57,560 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 2: We could at this age to.

763
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 3: Know you could call you and say, Mommy, someone hit me. Yeah,

764
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 3: it's just like it's unforgettable.

765
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:06,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

766
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 3: It's actually the reason I think now when I get

767
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 3: an argument with men, oh, it's like complete shutdown. It's

768
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 3: almost something I had to work through in therapy. I

769
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 3: get nasty, what the fuck are you going to do

770
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 3: to me. I do think I'm saying shit like that.

771
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:22,120
Speaker 1: I do think it's interesting that when you went to

772
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:26,319
Speaker 1: the hospital as a as a woman, it was like

773
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:27,920
Speaker 1: a lot of people assume, like you don't want the

774
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 1: man to get in trouble and all that, but you

775
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 1: were embarrassed that you had that, that you had that experience.

776
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 4: I couldn't believe that that had happened to me. I

777
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 4: literally like, I don't come from that. I don't know

778
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 4: anything about that. And like I got good grades, I

779
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 4: got accepted into a conservatory, you know, coming up in

780
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 4: the in like six months away, I had the opportunity

781
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 4: to move to La Like in my mind, I was

782
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:55,319
Speaker 4: like I was so sharp, Like I was the kid

783
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,320
Speaker 4: in school that would go to my teacher before something

784
00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,239
Speaker 4: was due and be like is this an a? And

785
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 4: if they told me know, I would fix it. Like

786
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 4: I was the person where I wasn't done dancing until

787
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 4: my feet would bleed, Like I had to get it

788
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 4: right so to in my mind.

789
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:13,919
Speaker 2: Your man right to get lived.

790
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,359
Speaker 4: And also if you fight, you're broken. I also had

791
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 4: that story because of my parents. So now I'm doing

792
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,799
Speaker 4: everything wrong. There's no way that I was about to

793
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:26,759
Speaker 4: claim how wrong I was.

794
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 2: It was the most humiliating thing for me in the.

795
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:32,400
Speaker 4: History of ever, you know, And so I am grateful

796
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:36,319
Speaker 4: because I do also strongly feel like God has a

797
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:39,440
Speaker 4: way of keeping you where he wants you to be.

798
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 3: And I know, like I know, like I know, I

799
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 3: know we all have a calling on our life, but

800
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 3: I know mine.

801
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 4: Is big because He's told me, like, I'm so one

802
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 4: thousand percent crystal clear on that. And had I gone

803
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 4: down this realm, I have literally helped thousands of people

804
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:58,960
Speaker 4: make six and seven figures. I have literally helped thousands

805
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:00,919
Speaker 4: of women get out of their own way and create

806
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 4: their own transformation of actual self love.

807
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 2: I have.

808
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 4: There's so many things that I have done as an accolade.

809
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 4: Who cares about an accolade? Who are you in real life?

810
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:12,279
Speaker 2: How are you?

811
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,200
Speaker 4: How do you treat people in real life? What's your

812
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:16,719
Speaker 4: heart like in real life? Like when these cameras are off?

813
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 4: How are you as a person in real life? And

814
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 4: those are the things about me that I take pride.

815
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 4: And I'm not the most beautiful girl in the world.

816
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 4: And when we were talking about Brock, you know what,

817
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 4: he cheatd this, that and the other. I don't think

818
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:29,759
Speaker 4: Brock with Chee because I don't think Brock is a cheater.

819
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 4: I think it Brock wanted to have another woman, he'd

820
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 4: be like, baby, we gotta talk, And that's not cheating.

821
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:36,000
Speaker 3: That's a decision that we both could make together.

822
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 2: Potentially.

823
00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 4: I don't even think that that's gonna happen because I think,

824
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 4: a man, I'm too sayful, such a nice lady.

825
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:44,480
Speaker 2: What is that for? These fucking hot takes? Is this

826
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:50,040
Speaker 2: the what you mean? So this is a hot yeah?

827
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:54,400
Speaker 4: I know how many times like fucking crazy like and

828
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:56,080
Speaker 4: it's just funny because they really.

829
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 3: Does show you the internet of the Internet, and I'm like,

830
00:36:58,520 --> 00:36:59,239
Speaker 3: this is the same.

831
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:01,919
Speaker 2: This is I don't get what is the hot take

832
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 2: that you disagree with? I'll give me one to me.

833
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 1: It's interesting, with you being so traditional, with you being

834
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:19,279
Speaker 1: so so open, you genuinely think that your partner he

835
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 1: sees something, if he wants another woman, that he's gonna

836
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:23,319
Speaker 1: come to you first about it.

837
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,000
Speaker 2: I don't and say, hey, I want I want to

838
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:26,359
Speaker 2: do this.

839
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:28,800
Speaker 3: It's like you're you saying that's just your your partner

840
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 3: you believe.

841
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 2: Oh, I would believe. I know my partner would come

842
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 2: to me.

843
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 4: I don't because this is and I don't think that

844
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 4: it would be like damn that that girl's bad. Like

845
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:42,719
Speaker 4: Brock doesn't operate like that. He's strategic, he's logistical. Everything

846
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 4: has to make sense for him. So he's not gonna

847
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 4: see some batty on the street that lady could have HIV.

848
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:48,800
Speaker 4: That's he's that's not happening.

849
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:51,359
Speaker 2: But that thought that you have though, okay, my bad.

850
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 2: I disagree.

851
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,840
Speaker 3: I think that at your highest peak of happiness, that's true.

852
00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 2: I think people change.

853
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 3: I agree, and I think that sometimes men confuse love

854
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:05,920
Speaker 3: and line knowing that it could hurt you.

855
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 4: Yes, now this is the caveat to that. For me,

856
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 4: my deepest core value openness and honesty. So for you

857
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:16,560
Speaker 4: to say that too, girl, No, no, you got me.

858
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 2: No. No.

859
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 4: If you lie to meat, you know what you're doing.

860
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 4: I will never be the same.

861
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 2: Now.

862
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 4: I don't believe in divorce. He gonna have to divorce

863
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 4: me if we ever got a divorce. Really, it's not

864
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:27,920
Speaker 4: on the table for me.

865
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 2: He's just not. I'm thirty seven, thirty.

866
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:33,560
Speaker 3: Knowing that we've all dated pieces of shit.

867
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 2: Piece is a shit girl. We knew how deceitful men.

868
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 1: Can be, and we know that the hot take on

869
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 1: the internet is that a man will will lie or

870
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:46,080
Speaker 1: deceive you because they love you so much they don't

871
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 1: want to hurt you, even if they know the actions

872
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:49,839
Speaker 1: that they're doing that are going to hurt.

873
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,879
Speaker 4: No, that's a man with no integrity. I didn't choose

874
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 4: a man with no integrity. And this is the thing too,

875
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:57,880
Speaker 4: my man knows what he got. I have a unicorn.

876
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:00,479
Speaker 4: I'm very aware of that. And I'm not saying most

877
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 4: men don't cheat, because I think most men with options

878
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:06,120
Speaker 4: will absolutely cheat. I think there are girls right now

879
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:11,719
Speaker 4: so mad that we're married because he situation shipped everybody, everybody.

880
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:13,200
Speaker 2: And I don't want.

881
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 3: To debate this because I'm never gonna say someone's like, yeah,

882
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 3: that's what's hard to debate. It's very it to me

883
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,400
Speaker 3: nasty to be like you if there's someone watching right

884
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 3: now that's like, she don't know. Yeah, And I actually disagree,

885
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 3: Like I think people do it to my boyfriend all

886
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:30,399
Speaker 3: the time.

887
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:31,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, right.

888
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 3: But what I will say, though, is the way that

889
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 3: you feel about him. I feel like I've seen it

890
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 3: in another woman, and I don't know if integrity to

891
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:44,719
Speaker 3: me equates to sexuality. Like I tell you what I

892
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:48,839
Speaker 3: think integrity is. To me, it's like the idea that

893
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 3: he'd leave you when you're.

894
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 2: Sick, down and out.

895
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:54,760
Speaker 3: Let's say you've got in a horrible accident and you change,

896
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 3: your beauty changes and.

897
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 2: He would leave you.

898
00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:00,400
Speaker 3: Or if you had children and he decided to not

899
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 3: be the man that you thought he was, that's he

900
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 3: is integrity. Sexuality is a moment. Yeah, and it's a moment.

901
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 2: I believe that.

902
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 3: Okay, I believe that the most loyal man, I believe

903
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:15,160
Speaker 3: we can have a moment. I do, and I and

904
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:22,959
Speaker 3: that's why I can be I'm.

905
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:23,600
Speaker 1: Not saying you right now are giving that You're saying

906
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:27,160
Speaker 1: sexuality is a moment, and so a man can't just.

907
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:28,839
Speaker 2: Fall into Sexuality is such a moment.

908
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 3: To me, that is why I don't care about sex

909
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 3: with other people because me neither.

910
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 2: But I.

911
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 4: So I think I think with you, I understand if

912
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,200
Speaker 4: you are single and you know who you chose, and

913
00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 4: that's an integrity for you, then what you're saying makes sense.

914
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:49,719
Speaker 4: But for me and in an our our relationship, it

915
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:52,919
Speaker 4: is not an integrity to be deceptive to me. No,

916
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 4: it is not an integrity for you to betray me.

917
00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:58,720
Speaker 4: It is not an integrity for you to sneak around

918
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 4: and do whatever you were none of zero percent of

919
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 4: that is in integrity.

920
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 3: But he believe that people can actually like when they're cheating.

921
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:08,880
Speaker 3: I don't know if you've ever cheated on someone, You

922
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 3: never cheated on nobody.

923
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:13,840
Speaker 2: I'm not interested. I'm not a cheater. I'm not a cheater.

924
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 2: I'm have you cheated I cheat on oay? Remember? Oh

925
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 2: you did? I did you cheated her? Lack of that like,

926
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 2: well to you, you did it? Like like it was

927
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:25,319
Speaker 2: like get back he cheated on her?

928
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:29,359
Speaker 3: Okay, but very toxic. And also I felt powerful in

929
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:33,399
Speaker 3: my cheat But really, which was the worst part about

930
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:35,400
Speaker 3: my cheating, And it's because that's how much he hurt me.

931
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:38,520
Speaker 3: I don't even know if my cheating was a true desire.

932
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 3: I think seventy five percent of it was me just

933
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:45,360
Speaker 3: being like fuck him. I just I have like another

934
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:47,520
Speaker 3: man that's obsessed with me, that wants me. It was

935
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 3: just this weird that's easy.

936
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 2: Now. I can't even tell you how that.

937
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:54,279
Speaker 3: Feels, because in the moment when he hurt me, he

938
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:56,240
Speaker 3: cheated on me during COVID and we moved to Mexico

939
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 3: and I held that and I was sitting there and

940
00:41:58,480 --> 00:41:59,240
Speaker 3: I was like, fuck.

941
00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 2: No, stuff, what am I gonna do? So when I

942
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 2: would go to New.

943
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 3: York to record Horrible, I would cheat and I would

944
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:08,239
Speaker 3: come home and be like, there was so much fun,

945
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:13,480
Speaker 3: but I felt so powerful, and I think in the

946
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:15,400
Speaker 3: end I did oh no. But I don't know if

947
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 3: he believed me.

948
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:16,799
Speaker 2: It was in a fight.

949
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:22,240
Speaker 1: I don't think he believed it. You felt powerful cheating.

950
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:25,360
Speaker 1: You know what's crazy about you saying that? I wonder

951
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 1: if men do it as well. There's a lot of

952
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:31,320
Speaker 1: ways in which, especially when men are with a powerful woman,

953
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 1: that they feel emasculated. And so I wonder if, even

954
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:41,720
Speaker 1: knowing how you excelled during that relationship financially and with

955
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:44,720
Speaker 1: with through business, if cheating for him was a power

956
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:47,080
Speaker 1: as well, because there was. I told you my nigga

957
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:50,399
Speaker 1: felt powerful cheating on me with a homeless bitch because he.

958
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:54,120
Speaker 2: Felt like I wasn't I didn't need him. He literally, no, no, no,

959
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 2: this chu was a pouch surfing. He had that he

960
00:42:58,120 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 2: was homeland.

961
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:00,840
Speaker 3: It gives a cup out outside shaking it.

962
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:04,600
Speaker 2: She was CouchSurfing. She didn't have a home, she was unhoused.

963
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:10,320
Speaker 1: And we talked about it today because like not today,

964
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:13,560
Speaker 1: but we've talked about it since our breakup, because we've

965
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 1: mended the things. And when I asked him, like, why

966
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:19,960
Speaker 1: would you do that? He let me know, like you

967
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 1: made me feel like I like you didn't need me,

968
00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:25,759
Speaker 1: and so part felt he liked that the bitch needed

969
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 1: fifty dollars to eat. I don't know, like he liked

970
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:33,200
Speaker 1: that shit. Yeah, And I was just like, that's crazy.

971
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:35,920
Speaker 1: So again, and maybe the way that he showed up

972
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,440
Speaker 1: if cheating mede you feel powerful. I wonder how much

973
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 1: power it gives a man to cheat, especially in a

974
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:46,799
Speaker 1: relationship where there's he feels either emasculated or unneeded or

975
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 1: And that's the thing too men. People say that men

976
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:52,919
Speaker 1: cheat for options, no, the same way they say women

977
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:56,080
Speaker 1: cheat emotionally. There's also some sort of emotional tie. I

978
00:43:56,120 --> 00:43:58,760
Speaker 1: believe in a lot of sentence as to why men cheat.

979
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:00,520
Speaker 2: Not to put the blame on I'm a woman.

980
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 1: Let me go ahead and make that a woman with

981
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:05,839
Speaker 1: a man cheats, you put the blame on a woman.

982
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 2: No.

983
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,040
Speaker 4: No, First of all, if a man cheats, a man's

984
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:11,240
Speaker 4: gonna cheat. But I am saying if a woman opts

985
00:44:11,239 --> 00:44:14,640
Speaker 4: in to being the person that a man cheats with

986
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 4: and you know he's in a relationship.

987
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:21,880
Speaker 2: Oh wait, I thought we were blaming like the Maine.

988
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,160
Speaker 1: I thought we were blaming the main No, girl, we

989
00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:24,919
Speaker 1: know side checks.

990
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:27,840
Speaker 2: They married man. I mean they they married man with.

991
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 4: Girlfriends, you know, And I'm sure there's I'm not even

992
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 4: sure I know that there is trauma linked right, Like

993
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:35,360
Speaker 4: there's a part of like an avoidant that wants to

994
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 4: it's easier to just have this person that you can

995
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:39,200
Speaker 4: have a physical connection with the other.

996
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:39,960
Speaker 2: Don't read me.

997
00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:45,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I actually only give grace in this scenarios that

998
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 3: it's an exchange of money or gifts.

999
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:53,839
Speaker 2: And to me, I'm serious. I'm gonna tell you what.

1000
00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:57,279
Speaker 3: You hear.

1001
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,400
Speaker 2: What you're saying, it's okay for him to have a prostitute.

1002
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 2: What you said? That's all?

1003
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:05,000
Speaker 3: Yes, let me here, it is a bag found out

1004
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:07,920
Speaker 3: that this was nail what you got this person?

1005
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:08,759
Speaker 2: The hot take.

1006
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:11,880
Speaker 3: Isn't me blaming the woman when she's getting money out.

1007
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:13,920
Speaker 2: Of a bigger So as long as a man, you're

1008
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:15,839
Speaker 2: a man, then I deserve it.

1009
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 3: And they not excuse me, I'm the I'm the fucking fool, Like,

1010
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 3: what the fuck I mean?

1011
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 2: Not you cheat on me. Baby, The bitch deserve you too.

1012
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:25,920
Speaker 1: But you're okaying a man cheating with a prostitute over

1013
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:26,800
Speaker 1: cheating with a woman.

1014
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 2: That's just saying I'm not okaying it.

1015
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:32,040
Speaker 3: I'm just saying, the woman that's engaging in this situation,

1016
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,320
Speaker 3: get money out my nigger, and she could get gifts.

1017
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,320
Speaker 3: Bit you deserve them. If he could do that, I

1018
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 3: take them, take them from me.

1019
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:41,960
Speaker 2: I'm a prostitute. Don't want your man. She could want

1020
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 2: the money, So I take the whole thing because I

1021
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 2: don't want them to know.

1022
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 3: But what I'm telling you is if you can get

1023
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:49,520
Speaker 3: to the like, if you're at the point where there's

1024
00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 3: a married man and I'm sorry, Sarah, and I want

1025
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:53,840
Speaker 3: to be married too, and I literally believe it is

1026
00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:57,000
Speaker 3: the highest honor that I could give my love and

1027
00:45:57,040 --> 00:46:01,360
Speaker 3: my family. Yea. But if there is a woman who is.

1028
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 4: Getting money out of my man, you're not mad at her,

1029
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 4: take them?

1030
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:07,960
Speaker 2: She says, she's not mad at And I'll tell you why.

1031
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 4: To me, if my man gives money to another female, Wait, no.

1032
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 3: No, you can have them.

1033
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:16,440
Speaker 2: You can have them.

1034
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:22,319
Speaker 4: You gave, you gave, you gave our resources to another female.

1035
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:27,640
Speaker 2: What for what? Like? For for a moment, of for

1036
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 2: a moment, take take him them.

1037
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:33,000
Speaker 3: Hold on, I feel that way, I tell you, and

1038
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 3: let me tell you. He loved to eat in the morning.

1039
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:35,880
Speaker 3: He like sausages, pancakes.

1040
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:39,080
Speaker 2: And then they expramed and look at me. I'm the opposite. No,

1041
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:40,359
Speaker 2: I would much rather.

1042
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:43,439
Speaker 1: It's just something like that, like you throw a couple

1043
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:47,319
Speaker 1: of hundred dollars whatever. Hold on, did you catch emotions

1044
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:49,799
Speaker 1: for a woman? I don't know what you have to

1045
00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:52,919
Speaker 1: you have to choose. I would munch rather.

1046
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 2: You bet the bitch. One night's Vegas and that's it,

1047
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:56,759
Speaker 2: And that was my thing.

1048
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 1: I was fine even with my partner having sex with

1049
00:46:59,000 --> 00:46:59,719
Speaker 1: a woman one time.

1050
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 2: Take her out to dinner.

1051
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 1: Don't get to know how many siblings she has, don't

1052
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:05,000
Speaker 1: know her middle name, just have sex.

1053
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:09,560
Speaker 3: He's like, don't you get emotional, But Sarah fan we

1054
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:13,000
Speaker 3: had a little disagreement about this. He's like, I know

1055
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:15,719
Speaker 3: you say ship, like no dates, no dinner and shit,

1056
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:20,720
Speaker 3: but like what type of woman do you think probably

1057
00:47:20,719 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 3: wouldn't meet? He's like, you do this whole scenario of

1058
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 3: like how you want it to look right?

1059
00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:29,160
Speaker 2: What scraggly bitch do you think is going to meet

1060
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:31,399
Speaker 2: me out and say yes right now in the car.

1061
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:35,239
Speaker 2: He's like, this isn't even like a car take me home.

1062
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:37,960
Speaker 3: But that's the thing like decent women like if if

1063
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,840
Speaker 3: you're decent, let's tell you that work we didn't have

1064
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:43,360
Speaker 3: or we don't have one nice stands before.

1065
00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:45,799
Speaker 1: And we're not scraggling anyway. Niggas have picked us up

1066
00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:47,839
Speaker 1: from the club before. Stop sitting here getting on your

1067
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:49,919
Speaker 1: hot horse. We have had one nice sans when ygga

1068
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:51,720
Speaker 1: I set at the end of the bed in Miami.

1069
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:56,280
Speaker 2: Scraggly.

1070
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 3: You think I'm going at the balla this weekend and

1071
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:06,080
Speaker 3: be like, oh, yes, no, I want to eat a

1072
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:06,799
Speaker 3: hot take I have.

1073
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 2: Yes.

1074
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:09,960
Speaker 3: No woman is to blame if she is getting something

1075
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 3: out of a man. I believe there's nowhere where a

1076
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,799
Speaker 3: woman should be blamed. Y'all know he's on his high

1077
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:17,000
Speaker 3: horse with sex workers right now.

1078
00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:18,080
Speaker 2: Let's let him no.

1079
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:21,360
Speaker 3: But I just think that, like, it's not even like

1080
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:24,040
Speaker 3: you're trying to take him from me. You're literally doing

1081
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 3: this because the man is funding something for you.

1082
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 2: Well, what am I supposed to say?

1083
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:32,719
Speaker 3: How can we blame this woman's it's her using men,

1084
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:35,680
Speaker 3: which they should be used men use women off.

1085
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:41,879
Speaker 2: This man should be used. Shit, Okay, a married man.

1086
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:44,640
Speaker 2: You're telling me you're doing it because he's funny, because

1087
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:46,280
Speaker 2: you like him. He's cute. Bitch.

1088
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:49,359
Speaker 3: If you're not getting paid, you're a joke bitch. That's

1089
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:50,600
Speaker 3: a literal you could quote.

1090
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:52,920
Speaker 2: But also, men should be used. You said that too.

1091
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:53,640
Speaker 2: Let's stay there.

1092
00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 3: They married one, sorry, listen, and this is someone I

1093
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 3: said that once a successful marriage. I'm just saying I

1094
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 3: cannot blame a woman. If a married man comes to

1095
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:06,719
Speaker 3: you and says, I can give you X, y Z,

1096
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:09,319
Speaker 3: I can help you pay your rent, I can give

1097
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 3: you all these things.

1098
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:15,719
Speaker 2: How can we blame these women? I mean, there's so

1099
00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:18,319
Speaker 2: many ways, so we can blame me for one.

1100
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:21,480
Speaker 4: Why Why are you so desperate for a means of

1101
00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:24,279
Speaker 4: survival that you rely on a man to duck out

1102
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 4: on his wife. Why are you even open to putting

1103
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:30,799
Speaker 4: yourself into a space where you're going to allow yourself

1104
00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 4: to be the demise of something, or the demise or

1105
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:36,919
Speaker 4: the creation of his meath, or the betrayal She is.

1106
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 2: That he is if he no, they both are. There's

1107
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 2: no woman in the world.

1108
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:42,640
Speaker 3: She has no loyalty to you that doesn't matter that

1109
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:43,600
Speaker 3: bond that you do.

1110
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:47,279
Speaker 2: You not have loyalty period? Do you not have you

1111
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:50,320
Speaker 2: have to have to someone else's relationship people?

1112
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:53,600
Speaker 4: No, Hey, wait, paus, because that's like saying that's like saying,

1113
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:56,919
Speaker 4: what type of standard do I have to have to you? Look,

1114
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:59,480
Speaker 4: I don't eat meat because I don't eat meat. I don't,

1115
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 4: I don't. I don't drink often because I don't drink often.

1116
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:05,840
Speaker 4: There's never gonna be a space. I don't rob banks,

1117
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,360
Speaker 4: I don't do heroin. There's certain things that are just

1118
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:10,719
Speaker 4: not on the table for me. And this being from

1119
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:13,440
Speaker 4: a woman, I had a man who is very ultra successful,

1120
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:16,319
Speaker 4: wanted to have kids with me fifty thousand dollars a month.

1121
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:18,880
Speaker 1: He said, I hold on you and you left that.

1122
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:22,600
Speaker 2: Yes, no, I want partnership. This was the second engagement. No,

1123
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:25,080
Speaker 2: this is a different but no.

1124
00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:29,799
Speaker 4: So what I'm saying is if you are the way

1125
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:32,319
Speaker 4: that you are, then be that, but don't try to

1126
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:35,000
Speaker 4: make it like, oh no, I have so much integrity,

1127
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:36,920
Speaker 4: but I just don't owe her anything.

1128
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,080
Speaker 2: No, you never had integrity to begin with. So I

1129
00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:39,440
Speaker 2: think that.

1130
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:43,399
Speaker 1: I know y'all probably watching this like why the bitch

1131
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,360
Speaker 1: that like being a side chick. Ain't talking because I

1132
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:47,640
Speaker 1: used to be a pride I know y'all have be

1133
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 1: just like maybe her quiet and she was being the

1134
00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 1: not integroup bags.

1135
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:54,719
Speaker 2: Okay, wait pause? Were you really a sidechick? For real?

1136
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 2: Was I? Bitch?

1137
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:58,279
Speaker 1: I have a chapter in the book that says, do

1138
00:50:58,400 --> 00:50:59,919
Speaker 1: married men really treat you better?

1139
00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:02,480
Speaker 2: Oh? And they did?

1140
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:05,839
Speaker 1: They put a part of a part of me was delusional,

1141
00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:09,319
Speaker 1: and I do think that I wasn't open with the

1142
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:11,960
Speaker 1: fact that I was insecure.

1143
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:13,399
Speaker 2: I was in survival mode.

1144
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:16,359
Speaker 1: I didn't feel like I could be someone's number one

1145
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:18,720
Speaker 1: so much so that two three, four, five.

1146
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:23,400
Speaker 2: That were your relationship? Like like, was it for fun?

1147
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 2: What do you mean? Or was it? Oh? Girl? Some

1148
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:28,239
Speaker 2: of them may give me.

1149
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 1: Some of them I just thought was fine and I

1150
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:32,319
Speaker 1: didn't care to they was married, like not all of

1151
00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:35,440
Speaker 1: my side niggas became sugar daddy, See like there's something

1152
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:38,960
Speaker 1: different that's that's here and here you got married?

1153
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,239
Speaker 3: Want to get married? I wanted to get married.

1154
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:43,640
Speaker 2: Excuse me? So do I? Mandy does not?

1155
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 3: So how can we expect the value that you have

1156
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:53,120
Speaker 3: about the sanctity of marriage and loyalty? Contributing to the

1157
00:51:53,120 --> 00:52:02,719
Speaker 3: demise why you would have got there, Figurenaiuta, I genuinely

1158
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:06,000
Speaker 3: feel like the way that I value things I can't

1159
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,000
Speaker 3: expect for someone else. It's like if I let you

1160
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 3: borrow a dress of mine, I can't expect.

1161
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:12,880
Speaker 2: You to treat it how I do. You don't fucking

1162
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 2: treat her like whatever? You know what I mean?

1163
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:16,520
Speaker 4: Like, that's why if you know that somebody don't take

1164
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:18,400
Speaker 4: care of their stuff, they don't take care of their stuff.

1165
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:21,520
Speaker 3: But I just don't believe that the person. We can't

1166
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:23,799
Speaker 3: place blame on another person. We can get angry, we

1167
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:25,719
Speaker 3: can look at their Instagram and be like, fuck her,

1168
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:28,680
Speaker 3: she's this, she's that, but there is nothing. I don't

1169
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:30,480
Speaker 3: even think she deserves bad karma.

1170
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:32,480
Speaker 2: No, I'm not gonna lie it.

1171
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:34,800
Speaker 1: Gone back to your other relationship though. You should have

1172
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:37,879
Speaker 1: whooped Alicia, ass Like as soon as you went into

1173
00:52:37,880 --> 00:52:41,040
Speaker 1: that apartment, fuck your keys, you actually because.

1174
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:43,520
Speaker 2: That was your friend. Yeah, I know what you're trying

1175
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:46,480
Speaker 2: to say, and you know it's bold. People funk. You

1176
00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:49,920
Speaker 2: should have whooped Alicia. I didn't care. I didn't at

1177
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:52,000
Speaker 2: that point. I feel like, no, because you saw them

1178
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:55,520
Speaker 2: bangles and you care. Oh, you should have whooped Alicia.

1179
00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:59,440
Speaker 3: Wait wait, I'm not talking about someone that loves I'm

1180
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:01,239
Speaker 3: talking about a random woman. You need it a ball,

1181
00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:02,080
Speaker 3: I mean period.

1182
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:05,439
Speaker 4: I feel this is what I think. Cheating is weak, good, bad,

1183
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:07,120
Speaker 4: right or wrong. It is what it is is weak.

1184
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:10,040
Speaker 4: You're gonna allow the moment where you are not your

1185
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:12,480
Speaker 4: strongest and that's the thing too. I also agree with you,

1186
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:15,480
Speaker 4: Mandy where I feel like every person has the ability

1187
00:53:15,480 --> 00:53:18,880
Speaker 4: to be a cheaper cheater right time, right access, right opportunity.

1188
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 2: You put me on.

1189
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:21,719
Speaker 4: A on a on a on a on a what

1190
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:25,080
Speaker 4: you might call it for well, maybe not, maybe not

1191
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,000
Speaker 4: because I'm like, damn, if I was on an island

1192
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:30,480
Speaker 4: for thirty years with one man that's not my husband,

1193
00:53:30,960 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 4: would something go down?

1194
00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 2: Girl? Why do you do there? So thirty years? Bitch?

1195
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:42,600
Speaker 2: Thirty years? Now? This is the thing. Thirty days, I

1196
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:46,000
Speaker 2: don't see no planes coming down. Wait a second, you.

1197
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:48,480
Speaker 1: Say it would say you being straighted on the island

1198
00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:50,600
Speaker 1: for thirty years to see if you would consider cheating

1199
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:51,360
Speaker 1: on your husband.

1200
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:54,359
Speaker 4: No, I think it just takes a conversation that That's

1201
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:57,239
Speaker 4: what I think, like real talk, like you know, take

1202
00:53:57,320 --> 00:54:00,359
Speaker 4: take the extremes out the way. I personally feel like

1203
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 4: I'm not a cheater. Because I'm not a cheater. I

1204
00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:06,279
Speaker 4: don't I don't want to give any man that type

1205
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:08,600
Speaker 4: of power over my man. I would never do that.

1206
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:10,640
Speaker 4: I would never have him in a room looking dumb,

1207
00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:13,000
Speaker 4: looking stupid, having other men be like, oh yeah, and

1208
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:13,959
Speaker 4: I tagged your girl.

1209
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:14,600
Speaker 2: No you didn't.

1210
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:16,799
Speaker 4: That can't And there's very few people that can even

1211
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:18,200
Speaker 4: claim me. And I love that for him.

1212
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:20,280
Speaker 1: And like, as long as it's not All Star weekend

1213
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:24,160
Speaker 1: like we are, we are, like, I'll be in these rules.

1214
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:27,520
Speaker 2: They k nobody's saying, you know what I mean, But

1215
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:29,040
Speaker 2: that's the only weekend. I'm sorry.

1216
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:32,239
Speaker 3: He was like, I feel like I love that we

1217
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:35,200
Speaker 3: could go in spots and like niggas ain't hit, but

1218
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:37,759
Speaker 3: it definitely went on a date with your hand. It

1219
00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:41,080
Speaker 3: was all rio you swipe a Riety's like, we can't

1220
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:42,840
Speaker 3: walk down New York City before.

1221
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:44,480
Speaker 2: You've been like the date with him? I mean I did.

1222
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:47,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, after that first day, I was like, oh no, yeah,

1223
00:54:47,239 --> 00:54:48,239
Speaker 3: I was a serial dater.

1224
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:54,320
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1225
00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 1: Now I'm curious because I do want to make sure

1226
00:54:57,200 --> 00:54:59,879
Speaker 1: we get to it. You had a second engagement, Yeah,

1227
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:01,399
Speaker 1: what happened there?

1228
00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:07,280
Speaker 2: Oh? Child? So that guy? So that guy changed.

1229
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:10,239
Speaker 4: So think this is where I was really caught up

1230
00:55:10,239 --> 00:55:12,759
Speaker 4: in perception, and perception was way more important to me

1231
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:18,160
Speaker 4: than reality. The perception was black love, our couple, relationship goals.

1232
00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:21,719
Speaker 4: We were dream team, you know on Instagram, But in

1233
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:24,360
Speaker 4: real life it was actually very toxic. And at the time,

1234
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:26,000
Speaker 4: this is when I was in the top I think,

1235
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 4: three percent of a nine point eight billion dollar company

1236
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:31,160
Speaker 4: and that man looked me dead in my face and said, Sarah,

1237
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:33,440
Speaker 4: you'll never make it. The only way you would make

1238
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:35,359
Speaker 4: it is if you married someone who made it cool.

1239
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:40,200
Speaker 4: And at that time I'm like, but I'm successful. But

1240
00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:43,000
Speaker 4: also it did feel like a competition all the time.

1241
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,920
Speaker 4: It did feel like, you like, I almost had to

1242
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:49,279
Speaker 4: fight for how dope of a partner I was, you.

1243
00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:49,759
Speaker 2: Know what I mean?

1244
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:52,920
Speaker 4: Like, I feel like, was that the toxicity you're talking about,

1245
00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:58,360
Speaker 4: the competitiveness. The competitiveness was super toxic. The hit and

1246
00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:01,920
Speaker 4: his ego was so big. I'll never free. This lives

1247
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:04,200
Speaker 4: like the most mortifying moment of my life.

1248
00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:06,160
Speaker 2: Right. We were in best Buy.

1249
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:09,360
Speaker 4: Okay, you know, and we're old now older, but do

1250
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:11,359
Speaker 4: you guys remember like the Best Buy rooms where there

1251
00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:14,200
Speaker 4: were those big old TVs. Yeah, and like they were

1252
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:17,160
Speaker 4: hella expensive, like ten thousand dollars, fourteen thousand.

1253
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:18,719
Speaker 2: Ridiculous whatever. Now you can get them for two forty

1254
00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:20,440
Speaker 2: five exactly. Period.

1255
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:23,560
Speaker 4: Yes, So we are freaking going into one of these

1256
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:26,719
Speaker 4: rooms in Best Buy and one of the helpers, like

1257
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:28,759
Speaker 4: one of the workers, comes in the room and she's like, hey,

1258
00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:31,399
Speaker 4: you guys, you guys need any help with anything, and

1259
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:35,040
Speaker 4: he was like he was like, no, we're just looking

1260
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 4: around because he knew we knew we weren't about to

1261
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:40,399
Speaker 4: buy the TVs, like we're literally just looking at it.

1262
00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:43,680
Speaker 4: And the girl said something along the lines of yeah,

1263
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:46,359
Speaker 4: because no one really buys these TVs. What he heard

1264
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:49,560
Speaker 4: in his mind was you can't afford these TVs. So

1265
00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:54,440
Speaker 4: what he did at the time was he brought out

1266
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:57,040
Speaker 4: his car key and he's like, what kind of car

1267
00:56:57,040 --> 00:56:59,440
Speaker 4: do you drive? And she said something like a Toyota

1268
00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:03,280
Speaker 4: Corolla or like a Cameri or something. And he's like, oh, okay, yeah,

1269
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:07,600
Speaker 4: some people have Camri type lifestyles and other people have

1270
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:11,359
Speaker 4: and he showed his key this type of lifestyle and

1271
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:13,759
Speaker 4: when I tell you, I wish I could have disappeared.

1272
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:14,000
Speaker 2: You know.

1273
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:23,160
Speaker 4: The meme of a Maserati girl, okay, not okay, No, never.

1274
00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:26,520
Speaker 2: Like ratulation.

1275
00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 4: It's it's literally like why, like why why why if

1276
00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:33,680
Speaker 4: you have to put yourself above others to feel good?

1277
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:37,040
Speaker 2: Like why the girl it best buy? And you know what,

1278
00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:38,520
Speaker 2: I hope.

1279
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:41,360
Speaker 4: That that girl isn't haunted by that moment of just

1280
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:45,400
Speaker 4: osing of you're not good enough, Like imagine someone doing

1281
00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:46,640
Speaker 4: you like that publicly for what.

1282
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:47,640
Speaker 2: Oh I'm not gonna lie.

1283
00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:50,400
Speaker 1: If your man goes out of his way to make

1284
00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:52,480
Speaker 1: like to talk down on you or make you feel

1285
00:57:52,520 --> 00:57:55,240
Speaker 1: like you're not good enough, that's that's you gotta leave them.

1286
00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:57,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's you got us to go. Girl. It was

1287
00:57:57,720 --> 00:57:58,240
Speaker 2: it was a rap.

1288
00:57:58,280 --> 00:58:00,360
Speaker 4: It was literally that him's telling me that that statement

1289
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:01,920
Speaker 4: you'll never make it. The only way you'd make it

1290
00:58:01,960 --> 00:58:03,960
Speaker 4: is if you married someone who made it.

1291
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:05,640
Speaker 2: Was That was it.

1292
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:09,440
Speaker 4: It wasn't the him being this super egotistical whatever.

1293
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:11,760
Speaker 2: And in a weird way. He did have some good

1294
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:15,240
Speaker 2: things about him. Honestly, he did hit his moment.

1295
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 1: I mean I didn't he didn't have ed, but yeah,

1296
00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:19,960
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know about what was really

1297
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:20,600
Speaker 1: good about?

1298
00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:23,640
Speaker 3: What was the car ride home quiet? I don't have

1299
00:58:23,680 --> 00:58:25,480
Speaker 3: nothing to say to you? Was it because you were

1300
00:58:25,520 --> 00:58:27,600
Speaker 3: angry at him, or did you start to think any we'd.

1301
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:28,640
Speaker 2: Like, how the fuck did I get here?

1302
00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:32,640
Speaker 4: I think I just felt embarrassed that I was a

1303
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:36,920
Speaker 4: part of humiliating another human and it made me feel

1304
00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:37,920
Speaker 4: so small.

1305
00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:42,200
Speaker 3: It made me feel like dirty almost, you know, like.

1306
00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:46,520
Speaker 4: I I'm the type of person where I tell strangers

1307
00:58:46,520 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 4: they're beautiful.

1308
00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:50,120
Speaker 2: But you'd be lying hair, No, I don't.

1309
00:58:50,160 --> 00:58:52,480
Speaker 4: I'll be like highlashes, girl, I love your hair. I

1310
00:58:52,480 --> 00:58:53,720
Speaker 4: love that your hair is more blonde.

1311
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:55,919
Speaker 2: Now that's the truth. I don't say nothing true.

1312
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:58,280
Speaker 1: Oh so when you don't give compliments though, if you

1313
00:58:58,280 --> 00:58:59,000
Speaker 1: don't mean them.

1314
00:58:59,080 --> 00:59:03,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I'm but I'm intentional about trying to find

1315
00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 4: something I like, like like to strangers. I do it

1316
00:59:06,480 --> 00:59:10,240
Speaker 4: all the time, like and brock my my husband tell me, girl,

1317
00:59:10,320 --> 00:59:11,960
Speaker 4: like them shoelaces, thank you.

1318
00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:13,840
Speaker 3: I had a guy at Data that told me once

1319
00:59:14,720 --> 00:59:16,720
Speaker 3: I used to think you were a phony about like

1320
00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:18,600
Speaker 3: how you have small talk people. And he's like, but

1321
00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:22,000
Speaker 3: I realized we're toward the end of our relationship. He said,

1322
00:59:22,680 --> 00:59:26,480
Speaker 3: you really are someone that wants to know the Starbucks lady,

1323
00:59:26,640 --> 00:59:29,080
Speaker 3: like how her kids are. He's like, at first, I

1324
00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:31,040
Speaker 3: was just like when she shut the fuck up and

1325
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:34,320
Speaker 3: he's like, but you love connecting with people in that way,

1326
00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:36,960
Speaker 3: And it has been my biggest turn off when people

1327
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:37,560
Speaker 3: are nasty.

1328
00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:39,640
Speaker 2: I hate Yeah, no, that's not a good character with

1329
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:40,640
Speaker 2: the character jump.

1330
00:59:40,600 --> 00:59:43,560
Speaker 3: Up leave had a great time ba but like and

1331
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:47,880
Speaker 3: I noticed it, especially when today, just like a small way,

1332
00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:48,400
Speaker 3: I could see it.

1333
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:50,000
Speaker 2: Nobody in my life really acts like this.

1334
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:52,640
Speaker 3: When we go to a club and the other bitches

1335
00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:54,840
Speaker 3: in the section, how do they all treat each other?

1336
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,480
Speaker 2: How are the girls treating the other girls there that

1337
00:59:57,600 --> 00:59:58,360
Speaker 2: don't know each other?

1338
00:59:58,520 --> 01:00:02,520
Speaker 3: Yes, because it is the easiest place to get territorial,

1339
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:05,240
Speaker 3: to get jealous, and you just get mean and need

1340
01:00:05,320 --> 01:00:08,160
Speaker 3: to feel like you're more important. I'll show up sometimes,

1341
01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:10,160
Speaker 3: whether it be like an industry event or my homeboys

1342
01:00:10,160 --> 01:00:12,200
Speaker 3: pull up on this thing, whatever it is, and how

1343
01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:13,880
Speaker 3: the women look at me when they sit down on

1344
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 3: the enter of the room, like, especially beautiful women. I'm

1345
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:20,040
Speaker 3: always shocked at beautiful women being treachery.

1346
01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:20,440
Speaker 2: Excuse me.

1347
01:00:20,520 --> 01:00:22,320
Speaker 4: I know you don't curse, but I really do.

1348
01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:26,160
Speaker 3: But I've been through it when I.

1349
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:33,080
Speaker 2: Someone beautiful in their a bit yes are you? Let

1350
01:00:33,080 --> 01:00:33,480
Speaker 2: me tell you.

1351
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:36,120
Speaker 4: There's one girl and I'm never gonna say her name,

1352
01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:41,280
Speaker 4: and she better pray it. She needs to thank God

1353
01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:43,320
Speaker 4: for the fact that I will never tell the truth

1354
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:45,960
Speaker 4: about her, even though this girl lies about me, like

1355
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:51,000
Speaker 4: and I don't care, but no, no, no, but I'm

1356
01:00:51,040 --> 01:00:54,520
Speaker 4: gonna say this. She is one of the most beautiful

1357
01:00:54,560 --> 01:00:58,360
Speaker 4: women I have ever seen in my life. Like, she

1358
01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:03,080
Speaker 4: is stunning, and at the same time, she is the

1359
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:07,320
Speaker 4: ugliest human I have ever experienced in my entire I

1360
01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:08,920
Speaker 4: didn't even know they made them like this. This is

1361
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:12,520
Speaker 4: like Jim Rone says it. Jim Ron says, in your lifetime,

1362
01:01:12,520 --> 01:01:16,440
Speaker 4: you'll probably really only meet ten truly terrible people.

1363
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:17,400
Speaker 2: Oh I like that.

1364
01:01:17,480 --> 01:01:19,080
Speaker 4: So once you get through your ten, you know, if

1365
01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:20,919
Speaker 4: you're thirty five, you've made it to four, you got

1366
01:01:20,920 --> 01:01:23,720
Speaker 4: six more. If you twenty and you you're already at eight,

1367
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:25,919
Speaker 4: you only got two more. Like, there's really only ten

1368
01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:28,520
Speaker 4: truly terrible people that you run into in your life.

1369
01:01:28,640 --> 01:01:31,280
Speaker 3: She's one of my ten. Oh wow, she is one

1370
01:01:31,320 --> 01:01:31,840
Speaker 3: of my ten.

1371
01:01:32,200 --> 01:01:33,920
Speaker 2: How many have you? How many do you think you've

1372
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:34,400
Speaker 2: run into?

1373
01:01:34,680 --> 01:01:36,840
Speaker 4: I think I've only had one, to be honest. No, girl,

1374
01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:38,720
Speaker 4: the ex I'm sorry you gotta throw.

1375
01:01:38,720 --> 01:01:41,880
Speaker 3: I wouldn't even probably they saying maybe a good or

1376
01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:45,040
Speaker 3: or five that are confusing me with how nasty they are,

1377
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:47,200
Speaker 3: Like just not even like you know, when you get

1378
01:01:47,200 --> 01:01:49,200
Speaker 3: in an argument with someone like that doesn't count to

1379
01:01:49,240 --> 01:01:52,360
Speaker 3: me because that then there's an excuse for your or

1380
01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:54,560
Speaker 3: maybe some anger is bringing a bad side of you.

1381
01:01:54,680 --> 01:01:58,520
Speaker 3: Just someone truly nasty. The one thing I will say though,

1382
01:01:58,520 --> 01:02:00,960
Speaker 3: one of them was a very beautiful one and she

1383
01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:03,760
Speaker 3: was a model. I remember complaining about her to another

1384
01:02:03,760 --> 01:02:07,880
Speaker 3: friend of mine and he said, imagine your beauty is

1385
01:02:07,880 --> 01:02:10,880
Speaker 3: the only thing. Oh imagine how it must feel when

1386
01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:15,080
Speaker 3: she sits down. Because we were associates, He's like, you know,

1387
01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:16,520
Speaker 3: when you come in the room, I'm one of those

1388
01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:18,240
Speaker 3: friends that everyone wants me to tell a story when

1389
01:02:18,280 --> 01:02:18,640
Speaker 3: I said.

1390
01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:20,520
Speaker 2: Down, ohasy Fells bought blah blah blah blah blah, or.

1391
01:02:20,520 --> 01:02:22,360
Speaker 3: When I come into a room, or I'm the party

1392
01:02:22,400 --> 01:02:24,320
Speaker 3: friend sometimes right, people love me at a party.

1393
01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:25,120
Speaker 2: It's just the truth.

1394
01:02:25,920 --> 01:02:28,960
Speaker 3: He's like, how much it must bother her that the

1395
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:32,960
Speaker 3: beauty stops and now the attention shifts a lot of beautiful.

1396
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:34,520
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, when I was fat, I used to bag

1397
01:02:34,520 --> 01:02:37,280
Speaker 1: all the niggas because because the girls in the room

1398
01:02:37,280 --> 01:02:38,919
Speaker 1: will be fine, but I come and to start making

1399
01:02:38,920 --> 01:02:43,640
Speaker 1: a nigga ut. Hey, they was okay with my three necks.

1400
01:02:45,040 --> 01:02:47,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, they say, this bitch kind of funny. Let's keep

1401
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:50,720
Speaker 3: having her around. You know you're someone that people want

1402
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:51,440
Speaker 3: to be around.

1403
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:53,680
Speaker 2: Oh, let me tell you what I really can't stand.

1404
01:02:53,720 --> 01:02:55,520
Speaker 2: I mean, there's a joke having me a bad bitch.

1405
01:02:55,560 --> 01:02:59,160
Speaker 2: Here's she funny and cool like and yeah, you'd be surprised.

1406
01:02:59,240 --> 01:03:02,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the best feeling because it really goes to

1407
01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:06,400
Speaker 3: show that like, nah, we can pivot past this. I

1408
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:08,200
Speaker 3: feel like my whole life I was meant to think

1409
01:03:08,240 --> 01:03:10,880
Speaker 3: that hot people were rude, always was.

1410
01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:14,200
Speaker 2: I'm curious in terms of pivoting you and your husband.

1411
01:03:14,240 --> 01:03:17,720
Speaker 1: Now, to wrap this up, you and your husband were

1412
01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:22,200
Speaker 1: friends for how long before you said you got to

1413
01:03:22,200 --> 01:03:23,720
Speaker 1: marry me to get this koochie.

1414
01:03:24,640 --> 01:03:27,360
Speaker 2: That's why you can't trust friends. You can't trust friends.

1415
01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:30,040
Speaker 2: I say that all the time. I you know, you

1416
01:03:31,840 --> 01:03:32,400
Speaker 2: was my friend.

1417
01:03:32,440 --> 01:03:34,920
Speaker 4: I choose from my friends. Everybody I've ever dated it

1418
01:03:34,920 --> 01:03:35,800
Speaker 4: has been a friend.

1419
01:03:36,800 --> 01:03:38,640
Speaker 2: And so your your husband now can't.

1420
01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:44,760
Speaker 1: But your husband now can't have girls ariends for what.

1421
01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:44,920
Speaker 2: What about the women that were in life?

1422
01:03:45,120 --> 01:03:47,760
Speaker 1: He don't have none, he'd wait, all the women that

1423
01:03:47,800 --> 01:03:49,560
Speaker 1: were in his life before y'all got married.

1424
01:03:49,600 --> 01:03:53,560
Speaker 4: Are y'all talking about Wait? He had everybody you were

1425
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:55,760
Speaker 4: I was a friend. I don't know any of his

1426
01:03:55,840 --> 01:03:58,160
Speaker 4: other friends. Wait, so the ones now you doesn't have

1427
01:03:58,240 --> 01:04:00,640
Speaker 4: any female friends. He has women that he's cool with,

1428
01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:02,000
Speaker 4: and I know who they are.

1429
01:04:02,240 --> 01:04:04,400
Speaker 2: That count. No, it's doesn't. I feel like people be

1430
01:04:04,400 --> 01:04:05,440
Speaker 2: putting too much on friend.

1431
01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:08,440
Speaker 4: Even for friend to me means you show up to

1432
01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:10,560
Speaker 4: this person, you talk to them often, you'll.

1433
01:04:10,400 --> 01:04:12,560
Speaker 2: Hang out with them one on one. Those are friend.

1434
01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:14,240
Speaker 2: Can any of the women that he's cool with show

1435
01:04:14,280 --> 01:04:17,160
Speaker 2: up at the wedding? Yeah, so that's a friend.

1436
01:04:17,720 --> 01:04:20,360
Speaker 4: I wouldn't give that they came to the people came

1437
01:04:20,400 --> 01:04:22,440
Speaker 4: to your weddings, Sarah one hundred.

1438
01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:25,840
Speaker 2: Nah, No, he got friends. Look at you. You're kind

1439
01:04:25,840 --> 01:04:27,880
Speaker 2: of living on a that's a little delusional.

1440
01:04:28,600 --> 01:04:32,480
Speaker 1: If he was able to invite women, yeah to your wedding.

1441
01:04:32,640 --> 01:04:36,080
Speaker 2: Yes, those aren't his friends. A hundred people.

1442
01:04:36,280 --> 01:04:38,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's small. That's a small wedding.

1443
01:04:39,080 --> 01:04:40,400
Speaker 2: You better small wedding.

1444
01:04:40,520 --> 01:04:43,240
Speaker 3: That's a very small wedding. Yeah, it was what I'm saying,

1445
01:04:43,400 --> 01:04:45,320
Speaker 3: like in the grand scheme of when people like do

1446
01:04:45,400 --> 01:04:47,160
Speaker 3: this big blot thing of hundreds.

1447
01:04:46,760 --> 01:04:52,240
Speaker 1: Of unless he know eighty, I might invite twenty five,

1448
01:04:52,320 --> 01:04:52,760
Speaker 1: but I don't know.

1449
01:04:52,760 --> 01:04:53,640
Speaker 2: I ain't gonna have a wedding.

1450
01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:56,000
Speaker 4: But look, if you're talking, this is what I'll say

1451
01:04:56,160 --> 01:04:58,840
Speaker 4: for Brock. I would never I don't have to tell

1452
01:04:58,840 --> 01:05:02,240
Speaker 4: Brock anything because I can't tell him anything. He is

1453
01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:05,640
Speaker 4: truly a man's man. And I think because he is

1454
01:05:05,800 --> 01:05:09,760
Speaker 4: quiet in nature, like he's an observer. He's a little mysterious.

1455
01:05:09,840 --> 01:05:11,240
Speaker 4: He don't have a lot to say to y'all. If

1456
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:13,400
Speaker 4: you don't know y'all, he ain't gonna and kick it

1457
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:16,320
Speaker 4: and chat with It's not how He's not a big talker.

1458
01:05:16,400 --> 01:05:18,560
Speaker 2: That's not who he is. So for.

1459
01:05:20,520 --> 01:05:22,360
Speaker 3: Our whole wait, I lost my trade of thought. We're

1460
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:23,080
Speaker 3: talking about friends.

1461
01:05:23,160 --> 01:05:24,960
Speaker 2: Friends. Yeah, he'll be a friend.

1462
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:26,840
Speaker 3: He was a friend, but you don't believe in friends.

1463
01:05:27,760 --> 01:05:28,840
Speaker 2: No, the opposite sex.

1464
01:05:28,920 --> 01:05:29,000
Speaker 3: No.

1465
01:05:29,320 --> 01:05:31,840
Speaker 4: Now I feel like even my closest guy friends that

1466
01:05:31,920 --> 01:05:35,760
Speaker 4: I have, we're we all are friends now. The girls

1467
01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:38,040
Speaker 4: that he has in his life, we all are friends.

1468
01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:38,200
Speaker 2: Now.

1469
01:05:38,240 --> 01:05:40,120
Speaker 4: When we had a whole get together at the house

1470
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:42,520
Speaker 4: where the female friends that he has, they came to

1471
01:05:42,560 --> 01:05:45,120
Speaker 4: the house and we all already know each other, my

1472
01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:47,320
Speaker 4: friends that have a strong relationship with God.

1473
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:48,520
Speaker 2: I don't know what this is.

1474
01:05:49,920 --> 01:05:52,560
Speaker 3: All of my homegirls that are like this with Jesus

1475
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:54,480
Speaker 3: believe men and women can't be friends.

1476
01:05:55,240 --> 01:05:57,080
Speaker 2: Don't know why. Oh don't know why.

1477
01:05:57,080 --> 01:06:00,320
Speaker 3: I don't think that's literally Brionda said to me when

1478
01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:02,280
Speaker 3: she knew my man and I were talking about marriage, like,

1479
01:06:02,280 --> 01:06:03,400
Speaker 3: You're gonna have to get rid of your friends.

1480
01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:07,480
Speaker 2: I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? No? Like what?

1481
01:06:07,920 --> 01:06:13,320
Speaker 2: But what is their purpose? Because friends, what do you do? Whatever?

1482
01:06:13,480 --> 01:06:15,960
Speaker 2: What do you? What do you are right now? No,

1483
01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:19,840
Speaker 2: I'm you don't want to be married? Oh no, that okay,

1484
01:06:19,960 --> 01:06:21,960
Speaker 2: I'll take a ring. Okay, come on, I'll be mad.

1485
01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:24,200
Speaker 2: I'll take a ring to me.

1486
01:06:24,560 --> 01:06:26,680
Speaker 1: Even even so, here's the thing, what y'all do in

1487
01:06:26,680 --> 01:06:30,080
Speaker 1: this marriage that's very but I still to think that.

1488
01:06:30,400 --> 01:06:32,160
Speaker 3: I still believe liked.

1489
01:06:32,240 --> 01:06:33,880
Speaker 1: What I also don't like is that both the audists

1490
01:06:33,880 --> 01:06:35,200
Speaker 1: saying you don't want to be married, because that's what

1491
01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:39,360
Speaker 1: I still want to have a sanctified relationship that is serious,

1492
01:06:39,520 --> 01:06:42,640
Speaker 1: that where we have boundaries, where he is my partner.

1493
01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:46,840
Speaker 1: I absolutely still want that. So I hate that because

1494
01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:49,160
Speaker 1: I don't want to get married. That the way I

1495
01:06:49,160 --> 01:06:51,120
Speaker 1: want to show up in relationships.

1496
01:06:50,440 --> 01:06:54,080
Speaker 4: Still had from that conversation.

1497
01:06:54,240 --> 01:06:55,840
Speaker 2: I made you feel that way. Oh yeah, I don't

1498
01:06:55,880 --> 01:06:57,920
Speaker 2: want to make you feel what's he already saying. I

1499
01:06:57,960 --> 01:07:01,040
Speaker 2: don't date seriously because I just mean yeah, and I

1500
01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:03,200
Speaker 2: don't mean if you went of society.

1501
01:07:03,240 --> 01:07:05,480
Speaker 4: I think if society could suck my dick from back

1502
01:07:06,360 --> 01:07:08,280
Speaker 4: the recent niggas, you wasn't that serious.

1503
01:07:08,560 --> 01:07:10,919
Speaker 2: I was serious with everyone.

1504
01:07:12,040 --> 01:07:14,920
Speaker 1: I don't, okay, so and so for me, this idea

1505
01:07:15,400 --> 01:07:20,200
Speaker 1: is so crazy because I absolutely if a man came

1506
01:07:20,240 --> 01:07:21,840
Speaker 1: in and was like, hey, baby, like da da d

1507
01:07:22,360 --> 01:07:25,480
Speaker 1: we're getting serious now. I don't want you on the

1508
01:07:25,480 --> 01:07:27,160
Speaker 1: phone with ish. I don't want you on the phone

1509
01:07:27,200 --> 01:07:28,400
Speaker 1: with a king. I don't want you on the phone

1510
01:07:28,400 --> 01:07:32,320
Speaker 1: with this. I don't care how good the dick is,

1511
01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:36,120
Speaker 1: how much money he got deuces there. I have genuine

1512
01:07:36,160 --> 01:07:39,680
Speaker 1: friendships with people that I love. That my my group

1513
01:07:39,760 --> 01:07:42,440
Speaker 1: chat with the homies, where clearly I don't know my

1514
01:07:42,480 --> 01:07:45,080
Speaker 1: dick a little big, but I have a group chat

1515
01:07:45,120 --> 01:07:47,800
Speaker 1: literally with just met that is completely different than my

1516
01:07:47,840 --> 01:07:49,479
Speaker 1: group chatlection on.

1517
01:07:49,840 --> 01:07:50,800
Speaker 2: The person I'm dating.

1518
01:07:51,120 --> 01:07:55,160
Speaker 3: That they could assume that that that that opposite sex

1519
01:07:55,640 --> 01:07:58,600
Speaker 3: is nothing besides trouble to.

1520
01:07:58,600 --> 01:08:03,080
Speaker 2: Me, like, that's ever one as I'm ever own ass woman.

1521
01:08:03,600 --> 01:08:06,640
Speaker 3: I own too many damned businesses not to have interactions

1522
01:08:06,640 --> 01:08:09,480
Speaker 3: with them. That's just the facts, right, that's extra Now,

1523
01:08:09,520 --> 01:08:13,520
Speaker 3: granted that's a work relationship. Yeah, however, she dropped out

1524
01:08:13,520 --> 01:08:16,960
Speaker 3: of college. This is how I make friends. Yeah, right now,

1525
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:20,799
Speaker 3: if I suddenly have to remove myself from those people

1526
01:08:21,439 --> 01:08:24,800
Speaker 3: because you feel like it's not appropriate for our relationship,

1527
01:08:25,120 --> 01:08:27,439
Speaker 3: I think we're in the wrong relationship. I think that

1528
01:08:27,560 --> 01:08:30,479
Speaker 3: there's a point of control and contention that you'll reach

1529
01:08:30,520 --> 01:08:32,439
Speaker 3: in a relationship where maybe.

1530
01:08:32,120 --> 01:08:33,240
Speaker 2: Certain friends gotta go.

1531
01:08:33,560 --> 01:08:36,320
Speaker 3: For example, I've got close friends that are definitely patronic,

1532
01:08:36,400 --> 01:08:37,960
Speaker 3: and then it was definitely some niggas.

1533
01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:39,559
Speaker 2: That maybe would have fucked if I got if they could.

1534
01:08:40,439 --> 01:08:42,439
Speaker 2: There's a lot of niggas that would fuck if you let.

1535
01:08:42,280 --> 01:08:45,360
Speaker 3: Them exactly still be your I don't think that it's

1536
01:08:45,360 --> 01:08:47,480
Speaker 3: fair to only build sisterhood.

1537
01:08:47,880 --> 01:08:50,000
Speaker 4: So so I hear what you're saying, and that is

1538
01:08:50,040 --> 01:08:52,400
Speaker 4: a vantage point. But this is my this is my

1539
01:08:52,400 --> 01:08:53,160
Speaker 4: opposing view.

1540
01:08:54,200 --> 01:08:54,519
Speaker 2: Now.

1541
01:08:54,720 --> 01:08:56,679
Speaker 4: I have a friend right now, his name is Ady,

1542
01:08:57,080 --> 01:08:59,080
Speaker 4: one of my closest friends. We talk on the phone

1543
01:08:59,160 --> 01:09:02,000
Speaker 4: all the time, knows them. We've had conversation. So it's

1544
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:04,679
Speaker 4: not that you can't have friends of the opposite sex.

1545
01:09:04,800 --> 01:09:06,960
Speaker 4: One of his girlfriends shout out to Asia. Asia came

1546
01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:09,000
Speaker 4: over to the house. Asia was at the wedding. Asia's like,

1547
01:09:09,040 --> 01:09:11,240
Speaker 4: I love what you guys have this. The three of

1548
01:09:11,320 --> 01:09:14,799
Speaker 4: us are now building our relationship. So what I'm saying

1549
01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:17,640
Speaker 4: is I don't think it's appropriate for people to have

1550
01:09:17,840 --> 01:09:20,240
Speaker 4: you don't know, yes, oh wait, I also don't think

1551
01:09:20,280 --> 01:09:23,160
Speaker 4: it's appropriate. I also don't think it's appropriate for there

1552
01:09:23,200 --> 01:09:26,719
Speaker 4: to be one on one interactions with that person because

1553
01:09:26,960 --> 01:09:30,479
Speaker 4: why Now here's the caveat to that. Let's say that

1554
01:09:30,560 --> 01:09:31,360
Speaker 4: you want to.

1555
01:09:31,640 --> 01:09:34,439
Speaker 3: Go on a trip, go on vacation, go on why

1556
01:09:34,439 --> 01:09:36,360
Speaker 3: would you go with a friend instead of your husband

1557
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:36,679
Speaker 3: or wife?

1558
01:09:36,720 --> 01:09:38,559
Speaker 2: Okay, wait wait now you cook. Now I get it.

1559
01:09:39,040 --> 01:09:42,479
Speaker 3: But in terms of friendship and we so my partner

1560
01:09:42,520 --> 01:09:44,519
Speaker 3: had dated someone for nine years before me m hm,

1561
01:09:44,880 --> 01:09:47,280
Speaker 3: and he was like, you got too many fucking homeboys, boots,

1562
01:09:47,360 --> 01:09:50,840
Speaker 3: what the fuck? But I'm like, well, how what is

1563
01:09:50,840 --> 01:09:52,719
Speaker 3: this gonna make you comfortable? Because I'm not gonna stop

1564
01:09:52,760 --> 01:09:53,839
Speaker 3: being friends with them.

1565
01:09:53,840 --> 01:09:54,760
Speaker 2: He's like, well, you can't go on.

1566
01:09:54,760 --> 01:09:57,840
Speaker 3: Trips with Andre anymore, just you and him my friends

1567
01:09:57,840 --> 01:09:59,679
Speaker 3: in DJ, so I would jump on a trip. I'll

1568
01:09:59,680 --> 01:10:01,720
Speaker 3: come out there. He's like, that's weird to me that

1569
01:10:01,920 --> 01:10:04,240
Speaker 3: just you and him go on this trip. That I understand.

1570
01:10:04,520 --> 01:10:08,639
Speaker 3: He's like, but I do understand that you and Andre

1571
01:10:09,120 --> 01:10:11,080
Speaker 3: might step out. I live between New York and LA.

1572
01:10:11,439 --> 01:10:13,160
Speaker 3: Y'all partying in LA for a night, you go out,

1573
01:10:13,200 --> 01:10:15,640
Speaker 3: you have dinner, whatever. He's like, like, why would you

1574
01:10:15,640 --> 01:10:18,640
Speaker 3: and Andre go on a trip alone? Now that I

1575
01:10:18,640 --> 01:10:22,320
Speaker 3: am in a serious relationship. I completely get that. To me,

1576
01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:25,519
Speaker 3: it is a bit inappropriate now and I have Andre

1577
01:10:25,640 --> 01:10:26,960
Speaker 3: and I've ever shared a bed.

1578
01:10:26,880 --> 01:10:27,280
Speaker 2: Or a room.

1579
01:10:27,520 --> 01:10:31,360
Speaker 3: No, but I understand the intimacy that vacations are, and

1580
01:10:31,400 --> 01:10:35,200
Speaker 3: I don't necessarily think like it makes sense to go like,

1581
01:10:35,960 --> 01:10:36,559
Speaker 3: why would my.

1582
01:10:36,520 --> 01:10:37,760
Speaker 2: Man go on a trip at one of his whole

1583
01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:41,400
Speaker 2: that's fucking insane. I get it. But granted we're all friends.

1584
01:10:41,400 --> 01:10:45,400
Speaker 4: Now, would you say said, maybe they're going to Black

1585
01:10:45,439 --> 01:10:49,320
Speaker 4: Ski Week? I don't know, not, but it's just inappropriate

1586
01:10:49,360 --> 01:10:51,720
Speaker 4: for me. And also, this is the thing, none of

1587
01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:54,280
Speaker 4: us are just perfect people. I'm not a perfect person.

1588
01:10:54,720 --> 01:10:57,840
Speaker 4: The thing that causes cheating, cheating happens way before the

1589
01:10:57,880 --> 01:11:01,160
Speaker 4: act of sex. It's access. Access again and again and

1590
01:11:01,200 --> 01:11:03,679
Speaker 4: again over time. It's like the Chinese proverb that says

1591
01:11:03,680 --> 01:11:06,599
Speaker 4: a drop of water dropping on a rock same spot

1592
01:11:06,880 --> 01:11:08,760
Speaker 4: over time will split the rock.

1593
01:11:09,120 --> 01:11:13,080
Speaker 2: It is the continuous access. Yeah. Absolutely, I don't think

1594
01:11:14,080 --> 01:11:17,040
Speaker 2: one drop of water. Reason. I don't know if I

1595
01:11:17,120 --> 01:11:17,720
Speaker 2: really believe it.

1596
01:11:17,720 --> 01:11:21,479
Speaker 3: With friendship, I think someone at work could start more

1597
01:11:21,640 --> 01:11:22,800
Speaker 3: of a budding relationship.

1598
01:11:22,840 --> 01:11:24,559
Speaker 2: Like I think that at the end. Why you think

1599
01:11:24,560 --> 01:11:26,360
Speaker 2: they say workwives and work husband, of.

1600
01:11:26,280 --> 01:11:30,080
Speaker 1: Course, but I think, like, so you better work with

1601
01:11:30,160 --> 01:11:31,639
Speaker 1: the same sex if we get together.

1602
01:11:32,120 --> 01:11:34,240
Speaker 2: What do you mean, so now you gotta go work

1603
01:11:34,240 --> 01:11:39,160
Speaker 2: at more house. He can't be around women, Like, That's

1604
01:11:39,160 --> 01:11:40,800
Speaker 2: the thing. I don't think. I'm not saying he can't

1605
01:11:40,800 --> 01:11:42,320
Speaker 2: be around women. I'm not saying that.

1606
01:11:42,400 --> 01:11:45,000
Speaker 3: Wait, wait, you really think it's cool that, like someone

1607
01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:47,200
Speaker 3: could be married and go on a vacation with a woman.

1608
01:11:47,479 --> 01:11:50,639
Speaker 1: I don't think that that would happen. I just don't

1609
01:11:50,840 --> 01:11:54,559
Speaker 1: see where why that would happen. Like when you get married,

1610
01:11:54,920 --> 01:11:58,599
Speaker 1: like you often now either here with other friend groups

1611
01:11:58,640 --> 01:12:00,920
Speaker 1: like you, that wouldn't be a thing where if we're

1612
01:12:00,920 --> 01:12:04,120
Speaker 1: married and we're living together, that you're planning a vacation

1613
01:12:04,280 --> 01:12:07,720
Speaker 1: with another person, that wouldn't happen. No, I agree, it

1614
01:12:07,760 --> 01:12:09,880
Speaker 1: shouldn't happen. No, but it wouldn't happen like that doesn't

1615
01:12:09,880 --> 01:12:10,719
Speaker 1: even make sense by.

1616
01:12:10,760 --> 01:12:14,080
Speaker 2: Saying that's like bro the last three. But that's why,

1617
01:12:14,160 --> 01:12:16,439
Speaker 2: that's why y'all like y'all are taking it to the extreme.

1618
01:12:16,760 --> 01:12:19,760
Speaker 1: Do I think that my husband or my partner can

1619
01:12:19,800 --> 01:12:22,840
Speaker 1: go and have lunch or dinner with just a woman

1620
01:12:22,960 --> 01:12:23,559
Speaker 1: one on one?

1621
01:12:23,840 --> 01:12:26,320
Speaker 2: Yes, oh, I agree to Yes, she doesn't.

1622
01:12:26,479 --> 01:12:29,240
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying in him cannot go and have

1623
01:12:29,240 --> 01:12:32,120
Speaker 1: dinner by themselves, like we're taking it to the extreme

1624
01:12:32,120 --> 01:12:34,880
Speaker 1: with this vacation to it's not it's not cannot, but

1625
01:12:34,960 --> 01:12:36,080
Speaker 1: he also would not.

1626
01:12:36,640 --> 01:12:37,639
Speaker 2: That's the man I chose.

1627
01:12:37,720 --> 01:12:40,200
Speaker 4: I chose a man that sees the same inappropriate actions,

1628
01:12:40,240 --> 01:12:41,080
Speaker 4: the same that I see.

1629
01:12:41,880 --> 01:12:45,200
Speaker 2: That's not an inappropriate action to eat, But come to

1630
01:12:45,240 --> 01:12:47,320
Speaker 2: the house. I'll cook for you. I gave what you

1631
01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:47,519
Speaker 2: to me.

1632
01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:51,960
Speaker 3: But wait, wait, wait, girl, something that makes sense. Yeah,

1633
01:12:52,080 --> 01:12:55,280
Speaker 3: he's out with the boys. Asia is at a bar.

1634
01:12:55,640 --> 01:12:59,240
Speaker 3: Come through, let's have a drink. That's not that's crazy. Look, no,

1635
01:12:59,320 --> 01:13:01,479
Speaker 3: that's not crazy. He's already out with the boys and

1636
01:13:01,520 --> 01:13:03,160
Speaker 3: she's at the same place. Maybe he's gonna meet with

1637
01:13:03,200 --> 01:13:05,000
Speaker 3: the boys. I'm saying, maybe he has plans that night,

1638
01:13:05,040 --> 01:13:06,599
Speaker 3: but right before he meets Asia to catch up.

1639
01:13:07,000 --> 01:13:07,719
Speaker 2: No, that's weird.

1640
01:13:07,880 --> 01:13:11,479
Speaker 3: See, so something I really need. For example, I'll bring

1641
01:13:11,479 --> 01:13:14,240
Speaker 3: this person up again. Now him and Andre hang out

1642
01:13:14,280 --> 01:13:17,400
Speaker 3: alone without me, which is lovely. We've been on vacations together. Pooh.

1643
01:13:18,280 --> 01:13:21,120
Speaker 3: I need my time with my friend privately. And it's

1644
01:13:21,120 --> 01:13:24,000
Speaker 3: not because I have some crazy It's weird. See, it's

1645
01:13:24,040 --> 01:13:27,240
Speaker 3: weird to me. I got to catch up with my dog.

1646
01:13:27,320 --> 01:13:29,120
Speaker 2: I want to talk, but why can't you do that

1647
01:13:29,360 --> 01:13:30,880
Speaker 2: in front of your your man?

1648
01:13:31,320 --> 01:13:35,040
Speaker 3: But I also can't share every single lived experience, sir,

1649
01:13:35,240 --> 01:13:36,479
Speaker 3: And that's she thinks that.

1650
01:13:36,680 --> 01:13:37,479
Speaker 2: That's like we talked.

1651
01:13:37,520 --> 01:13:40,559
Speaker 3: I think that independence then becomes a thing, right, So yeah,

1652
01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:42,240
Speaker 3: you got a agree of your partner.

1653
01:13:42,400 --> 01:13:43,120
Speaker 2: Now I agree with that.

1654
01:13:43,600 --> 01:13:45,960
Speaker 4: Look, I'm here right now before it is. I was

1655
01:13:46,000 --> 01:13:49,200
Speaker 4: at a laser hair removal appointment before that. Like, I'm

1656
01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:50,639
Speaker 4: not saying you have to be up.

1657
01:13:50,640 --> 01:13:51,840
Speaker 2: Under your man all the time.

1658
01:13:52,000 --> 01:13:54,720
Speaker 4: I'm saying that there are certain things that I can

1659
01:13:54,880 --> 01:13:57,680
Speaker 4: create intimacy, which is not always sexual, by the way,

1660
01:13:57,880 --> 01:14:00,400
Speaker 4: but intimacy, and I don't think that we as women

1661
01:14:00,560 --> 01:14:03,800
Speaker 4: should be spreading our intimate things with men.

1662
01:14:03,960 --> 01:14:06,000
Speaker 2: I just don't think that now, I don't.

1663
01:14:06,120 --> 01:14:08,840
Speaker 3: I think the intimacy looks different from me, right, it's

1664
01:14:08,960 --> 01:14:11,559
Speaker 3: the bond that I share when I'm having a tough

1665
01:14:11,640 --> 01:14:13,599
Speaker 3: day and I'm talking about the fragility of my parents

1666
01:14:13,680 --> 01:14:17,080
Speaker 3: being older. It could be maybe finance or work stress

1667
01:14:17,200 --> 01:14:20,439
Speaker 3: or whatever. But sometimes shooting the shit with a friend

1668
01:14:20,920 --> 01:14:23,040
Speaker 3: does look different with your partner. Hey, they need an

1669
01:14:23,040 --> 01:14:24,160
Speaker 3: event for a second.

1670
01:14:24,240 --> 01:14:25,120
Speaker 2: Where are your girlfriends?

1671
01:14:25,800 --> 01:14:29,960
Speaker 4: They're there too, Okay, So if you're already having those

1672
01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:32,720
Speaker 4: conversations with your girlfriends, why then do you also need

1673
01:14:32,800 --> 01:14:35,439
Speaker 4: to have those conversations with him. Why is because there's

1674
01:14:35,479 --> 01:14:38,639
Speaker 4: a part of your intimate capacity that he is taking

1675
01:14:39,040 --> 01:14:41,280
Speaker 4: so much, so that if your partner were to say,

1676
01:14:41,439 --> 01:14:42,920
Speaker 4: I don't really you know, I love.

1677
01:14:42,880 --> 01:14:47,200
Speaker 2: That intimate capacity. We havecity, we are humans.

1678
01:14:47,400 --> 01:14:49,439
Speaker 3: I guess that that person is that important to me.

1679
01:14:49,520 --> 01:14:51,400
Speaker 3: Then so is that person more important?

1680
01:14:51,479 --> 01:14:52,800
Speaker 4: If your a person were to come to you right

1681
01:14:52,800 --> 01:14:54,320
Speaker 4: now that you've been with for three years and say,

1682
01:14:54,439 --> 01:14:57,840
Speaker 4: you know what, I love the dynamic, but I don't

1683
01:14:57,880 --> 01:14:59,920
Speaker 4: want you guys to have a one on one cover roman.

1684
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:03,120
Speaker 1: I think my romantic shouldn't be placed in a hierarchy

1685
01:15:03,280 --> 01:15:06,439
Speaker 1: with the other men, because again, I would be so

1686
01:15:06,640 --> 01:15:09,920
Speaker 1: icked out that he and you're serious, this is what

1687
01:15:10,000 --> 01:15:11,640
Speaker 1: I be mean, I know and you know what's very

1688
01:15:11,680 --> 01:15:12,439
Speaker 1: difficult about it.

1689
01:15:13,439 --> 01:15:13,880
Speaker 2: That is so.

1690
01:15:15,800 --> 01:15:19,080
Speaker 3: We've been friends longer than my relationship, right, it probably

1691
01:15:19,200 --> 01:15:22,320
Speaker 3: would uh huh sacrifice.

1692
01:15:21,760 --> 01:15:24,960
Speaker 2: Him because yeah, because I'm that in love with my man. Okay,

1693
01:15:25,040 --> 01:15:26,759
Speaker 2: point right, which sucks.

1694
01:15:27,160 --> 01:15:29,560
Speaker 3: Well, what ended up happening is I'd be so resentful

1695
01:15:29,800 --> 01:15:32,800
Speaker 3: that my man controlled my life that much. Would But

1696
01:15:32,920 --> 01:15:34,760
Speaker 3: is it control and that is just the true it's

1697
01:15:34,800 --> 01:15:35,519
Speaker 3: absolute control?

1698
01:15:35,680 --> 01:15:39,000
Speaker 2: Or is it respect? I don't think that's control.

1699
01:15:42,120 --> 01:15:45,560
Speaker 1: But you respect me, if you love me, if you

1700
01:15:45,880 --> 01:15:49,559
Speaker 1: care about me again, the same way that cheating would

1701
01:15:49,640 --> 01:15:54,200
Speaker 1: hurt me. Why would Why does it go differently than

1702
01:15:54,240 --> 01:15:56,439
Speaker 1: you removing someone that I care about that would hurt

1703
01:15:56,520 --> 01:15:59,559
Speaker 1: me for me to have to this this like this.

1704
01:16:00,040 --> 01:16:03,160
Speaker 2: Don't care for respects for you and I are both different. No, no, no,

1705
01:16:03,400 --> 01:16:05,599
Speaker 2: we're not. I'm not keeping it on respect. I'm talking

1706
01:16:05,600 --> 01:16:06,439
Speaker 2: about hurt.

1707
01:16:06,920 --> 01:16:10,320
Speaker 1: If cheating is something that would hurt you, why is

1708
01:16:10,360 --> 01:16:13,320
Speaker 1: it then okay for him to set this boundary that

1709
01:16:13,720 --> 01:16:16,519
Speaker 1: essentially would remove someone from your life that would hurt you.

1710
01:16:17,280 --> 01:16:20,200
Speaker 1: Why why is there a hierarchy of hurt here for

1711
01:16:20,360 --> 01:16:21,599
Speaker 1: what's allowed and what's not allowed.

1712
01:16:21,640 --> 01:16:22,400
Speaker 2: So this is what I think.

1713
01:16:22,560 --> 01:16:25,160
Speaker 4: I think that this is why it's so important, number one,

1714
01:16:25,200 --> 01:16:27,720
Speaker 4: for us to know ourselves right, Because for me, there's

1715
01:16:27,800 --> 01:16:30,400
Speaker 4: not a man on this planet that I would choose

1716
01:16:30,479 --> 01:16:31,200
Speaker 4: over my husband.

1717
01:16:31,720 --> 01:16:38,599
Speaker 2: I don't care no my husband, and this too right there,

1718
01:16:39,120 --> 01:16:41,360
Speaker 2: that man I'm that man over here, But.

1719
01:16:41,479 --> 01:16:44,120
Speaker 4: I am because this is your once in a lifetime

1720
01:16:44,200 --> 01:16:47,760
Speaker 4: platinum needle in a haystack, swing for the fence's best friend, confidante,

1721
01:16:47,880 --> 01:16:50,320
Speaker 4: lover husband Like that's not true.

1722
01:16:50,160 --> 01:16:53,400
Speaker 2: But no, And that's the thing. You see it different.

1723
01:16:53,479 --> 01:16:55,240
Speaker 3: So what I'm saying is you got to choose a

1724
01:16:55,280 --> 01:16:57,200
Speaker 3: person that's he's the same way as you see it.

1725
01:16:57,439 --> 01:16:59,000
Speaker 2: I would never choose a man.

1726
01:16:59,600 --> 01:17:02,320
Speaker 4: I wouldn't never choose a man that felt like he

1727
01:17:02,479 --> 01:17:04,720
Speaker 4: needed to go out with his girlfriends all the time

1728
01:17:04,840 --> 01:17:06,719
Speaker 4: and then would try to play me like I'm insecure,

1729
01:17:06,840 --> 01:17:07,320
Speaker 4: non negro.

1730
01:17:07,720 --> 01:17:09,639
Speaker 2: I don't feel respected.

1731
01:17:09,320 --> 01:17:11,280
Speaker 4: When you're out with a bunch of different women. Fact,

1732
01:17:11,320 --> 01:17:14,040
Speaker 4: we have to choose the people that make the most

1733
01:17:14,080 --> 01:17:17,040
Speaker 4: sense for us. And on top of that, I feel

1734
01:17:17,160 --> 01:17:19,880
Speaker 4: like like, because when y'all are saying the words that

1735
01:17:19,960 --> 01:17:22,080
Speaker 4: are coming out of your mouth, like this makes sense

1736
01:17:22,160 --> 01:17:25,560
Speaker 4: to me in my mind, and and not not to

1737
01:17:26,040 --> 01:17:28,720
Speaker 4: make a debate, but in my mind, I'm like, y'all

1738
01:17:28,720 --> 01:17:31,160
Speaker 4: don't want to be married. That's that's what my my,

1739
01:17:31,479 --> 01:17:34,720
Speaker 4: my underlying voice says, because ultimately, what you're saying is

1740
01:17:35,040 --> 01:17:38,720
Speaker 4: there is another man that is more important than your man.

1741
01:17:39,080 --> 01:17:42,479
Speaker 2: And why would your man choose horrents of going to

1742
01:17:42,640 --> 01:17:43,000
Speaker 2: a bar?

1743
01:17:43,240 --> 01:17:46,599
Speaker 3: Yes, frankly saying that, And I can only speak from

1744
01:17:46,760 --> 01:17:49,519
Speaker 3: wanting to be married, Yes, the commitment you love. Yes,

1745
01:17:49,640 --> 01:17:55,680
Speaker 3: I want, Yet I don't want to wedlock. I want

1746
01:17:55,680 --> 01:17:57,920
Speaker 3: to honor each other family, to each other's families. I

1747
01:17:58,040 --> 01:17:59,240
Speaker 3: love how blended we are now.

1748
01:17:59,240 --> 01:18:01,439
Speaker 2: I love how we take of each other. Yes, there's no.

1749
01:18:01,720 --> 01:18:05,360
Speaker 3: World where that friendship. Sorry, Andre, love you to death

1750
01:18:06,360 --> 01:18:08,559
Speaker 3: means more than that. But but this is the thing

1751
01:18:09,040 --> 01:18:11,400
Speaker 3: I have, the issue where he feels like I can't

1752
01:18:11,560 --> 01:18:13,680
Speaker 3: walk outside and go to a bar with Weezy here.

1753
01:18:14,000 --> 01:18:16,360
Speaker 3: There's not a place in his brain where he's going

1754
01:18:16,479 --> 01:18:19,200
Speaker 3: like and now she's gonna suck his dick at GGR Friday.

1755
01:18:19,280 --> 01:18:21,160
Speaker 2: It's not about that. It's not about.

1756
01:18:22,800 --> 01:18:24,640
Speaker 4: So let me say this so because I'm glad that

1757
01:18:24,720 --> 01:18:26,479
Speaker 4: you said that when you bring up your man and

1758
01:18:26,600 --> 01:18:29,040
Speaker 4: you're like, there's not a peace that would act that

1759
01:18:29,240 --> 01:18:31,240
Speaker 4: that would that would make me choose I'm choosing my

1760
01:18:31,320 --> 01:18:36,160
Speaker 4: man over Andre, right. But you also said over time

1761
01:18:36,520 --> 01:18:39,280
Speaker 4: you would resent him so much that you would end

1762
01:18:39,360 --> 01:18:40,679
Speaker 4: up breaking up, meaning wait.

1763
01:18:40,520 --> 01:18:42,720
Speaker 2: Wait, wait, let me finish this.

1764
01:18:42,800 --> 01:18:45,400
Speaker 4: Is something wait wait wait wait no, no he didn't,

1765
01:18:45,640 --> 01:18:47,040
Speaker 4: because that's the thing a marriage.

1766
01:18:47,320 --> 01:18:49,000
Speaker 2: Let me tell you. Let me tell you. Look, y'all,

1767
01:18:49,160 --> 01:18:50,920
Speaker 2: and I'm not trying to be a preacher. I am

1768
01:18:50,960 --> 01:18:52,680
Speaker 2: not a perfect person. I do now.

1769
01:18:52,720 --> 01:18:54,439
Speaker 4: I have not figured out marriage. I am not a

1770
01:18:54,479 --> 01:18:56,560
Speaker 4: couple's goals. I am not black excellence. I am just

1771
01:18:56,640 --> 01:18:59,280
Speaker 4: one person that is committed to my person and figuring

1772
01:18:59,320 --> 01:19:01,280
Speaker 4: the shit out. But what I can tell you is

1773
01:19:01,640 --> 01:19:05,120
Speaker 4: most men are terrified of marriage. Why because they fear divorced.

1774
01:19:05,360 --> 01:19:08,000
Speaker 2: If you are marrying a woman that ultimately, on.

1775
01:19:08,080 --> 01:19:11,080
Speaker 4: A subconscious level, is telling you that she does not

1776
01:19:11,240 --> 01:19:13,720
Speaker 4: choose you all the way, that there are caveats or

1777
01:19:14,320 --> 01:19:16,799
Speaker 4: conditions on the way that she chooses you, or because

1778
01:19:16,880 --> 01:19:19,519
Speaker 4: you made her sacrifice something that meant something to her,

1779
01:19:19,760 --> 01:19:21,240
Speaker 4: you think that's going to be the only thing you

1780
01:19:21,280 --> 01:19:22,080
Speaker 4: sacrifice America.

1781
01:19:22,160 --> 01:19:23,800
Speaker 2: I will tell you this flat out. I am not

1782
01:19:23,960 --> 01:19:25,840
Speaker 2: scared to lose a man. I am not scared that's

1783
01:19:25,920 --> 01:19:29,639
Speaker 2: the problem. And no it's not. That's the way's the problem.

1784
01:19:31,720 --> 01:19:34,439
Speaker 3: But not a man always first, and then my kids

1785
01:19:34,560 --> 01:19:37,680
Speaker 3: and then God, well all the way God comes through day.

1786
01:19:40,600 --> 01:19:42,800
Speaker 2: But here's here's where it is. Yay, right, I'm listening.

1787
01:19:43,520 --> 01:19:45,560
Speaker 2: I would probably if you told me right now my

1788
01:19:45,680 --> 01:19:47,160
Speaker 2: man needs y'all.

1789
01:19:48,360 --> 01:19:50,240
Speaker 1: I don't relate to nothing. I'm just over here listening

1790
01:19:50,240 --> 01:19:55,320
Speaker 1: to the nuts to me everything, both of y'all.

1791
01:19:56,760 --> 01:20:00,639
Speaker 2: Is this the very people? We don't wait overall time? Bitch,

1792
01:20:00,680 --> 01:20:03,120
Speaker 2: we gotta do another episode and I'm just listening to

1793
01:20:03,160 --> 01:20:04,040
Speaker 2: the y'all like I.

1794
01:20:04,080 --> 01:20:07,280
Speaker 3: Didn't even get to wait until married. Literally literally, I

1795
01:20:07,439 --> 01:20:08,680
Speaker 3: really want a part two about me.

1796
01:20:08,800 --> 01:20:10,800
Speaker 2: Okay, you don't wait, hold on, let's go ahead and

1797
01:20:10,840 --> 01:20:14,600
Speaker 2: do a part two. Okay, No, so we'll do a

1798
01:20:14,640 --> 01:20:16,800
Speaker 2: part two. Okay, all right? Is that good for you? Start?

1799
01:20:16,880 --> 01:20:20,920
Speaker 1: Okay, so guys, we will get to how she held

1800
01:20:20,960 --> 01:20:23,120
Speaker 1: out on Kouchie to get married.

1801
01:20:23,520 --> 01:20:25,679
Speaker 2: Y'all. Make sure y'all tune into next week's episode.

1802
01:20:25,920 --> 01:20:27,640
Speaker 1: And luckily I do have some stuff for us to

1803
01:20:27,680 --> 01:20:29,360
Speaker 1: have a little bit of fun with because god damn

1804
01:20:29,800 --> 01:20:31,920
Speaker 1: this is I would love to be able to talk

1805
01:20:31,960 --> 01:20:32,680
Speaker 1: about how I like to.

1806
01:20:32,680 --> 01:20:34,479
Speaker 2: Fuck for two hours or something. Can we can?

1807
01:20:34,520 --> 01:20:38,000
Speaker 1: We We'll make it fun. So guys, make sure y'all

1808
01:20:38,080 --> 01:20:41,480
Speaker 1: check out next week. But we also have Sarah Fotonos

1809
01:20:41,680 --> 01:20:47,639
Speaker 1: Slash Shorter Part two and our no friends haven't had.

1810
01:20:49,160 --> 01:20:51,439
Speaker 1: Thank you guys for tuning in again. Come join us

1811
01:20:51,479 --> 01:20:53,920
Speaker 1: next week. We got Sarah for a part two Getting

1812
01:20:53,960 --> 01:20:56,639
Speaker 1: No Holds Bart go on Patreon this Patreon dot comback

1813
01:20:56,680 --> 01:20:57,639
Speaker 1: slash Hordle Decisions.

1814
01:20:57,840 --> 01:20:59,320
Speaker 2: We will see you bitches next week

1815
01:21:02,240 --> 01:21:03,800
Speaker 4: And se