1 00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:04,640 Speaker 1: My career was on a roll in twenty nineteen, and 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: then the world shut down, and you know, in America, 3 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:10,479 Speaker 1: everybody was debating where did the virus come from? Was 4 00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:13,040 Speaker 1: it about, was it a lab? It came from my 5 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 1: mother in law's kitchen. This woman was gonna do whatever 6 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:17,799 Speaker 1: it took to take me down. 7 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 2: Sarnagark has sold out stages around the world, racked up 8 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,040 Speaker 2: billions of views, writ in the New York Times best 9 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:27,560 Speaker 2: selling memoir, and launched two comedy specials on Prime Video 10 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 2: and Hulu. How by turning her life into one of 11 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 2: the funniest shows on the internet. 12 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:33,880 Speaker 1: Oh no, there's a lot of fighting, but we saved 13 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,479 Speaker 1: that for the TikTok. We don't fight unless we can 14 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:37,760 Speaker 1: monetize it anymore. 15 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,720 Speaker 3: She'll unfollow me on Instagram. 16 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,360 Speaker 4: She'll message my brothers, I'm never talking to your sister again. 17 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 3: Please let her know that I feel that way. 18 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 1: And she's brought along. 19 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,840 Speaker 2: Her daughter, Zoya, the person who believed in her before 20 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 2: she believed in herself, pushing her to step on stage 21 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 2: at forty four. 22 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 1: We were just trying to make a living. We were 23 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:59,280 Speaker 1: in such financial dire straits when my husband lost his job. 24 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 4: She did a open mic at the worst stand up 25 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 4: comedy club in the world, and there were two or 26 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,399 Speaker 4: three people in the audience that had bought the five 27 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:10,119 Speaker 4: dollars ticket, and the people in the audience were just dying. 28 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 3: They were falling off their chairs. 29 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 2: Join host Martin for King. The third Andrea Waters, King, 30 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 2: Mark Kilberger and Craig Kilberger were a hilarious and heartfelt 31 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 2: conversation about starting again, defying expectations, and what becomes possible 32 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 2: when family believes in you. 33 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: First you can sit there and be consumed by the 34 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:30,560 Speaker 1: overwhelming nature of being stuffed Orseidio. 35 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 5: Says, welcome to my legacy. Today's guest has lived what 36 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 5: most people would call an impossible dream, from surviving on 37 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 5: her own in Mumbai at just fourteen years old to 38 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 5: becoming one of the most original voices in comedy right now. 39 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 5: Zara Gard didn't just break through, She's become a cultural phenomenon. 40 00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:58,760 Speaker 6: Zarna. In case you can't. 41 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,920 Speaker 5: Tell, we are thrilled to have you with us today, 42 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,920 Speaker 5: and as always on this show, our extraordinary guests bring 43 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 5: along someone who has been meaningful in their journey. 44 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 6: Zarna. 45 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 5: Welcome and would you do us the honor of introducing 46 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 5: your plus one. 47 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,680 Speaker 1: First of all, thank you so much for having me. 48 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 1: What an honor to be in this company and in 49 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 1: this mix. I have brought with me my apprentice, my friend, 50 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:30,799 Speaker 1: although she's on a waiting list for the friendship honestly, 51 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:35,880 Speaker 1: but my daughter, my oldest child, my daughter, Zoya Gard, 52 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 1: who is a recent graduate of Stanford University in computer 53 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,520 Speaker 1: science in case anybody was wondering. 54 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:45,240 Speaker 4: And classics if anyone was wondering, and classics, because she 55 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:49,919 Speaker 4: managed to sneak that in there, and her presence is 56 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 4: important to me in this podcast because she was the 57 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 4: one who helped me get started in comedy. 58 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,919 Speaker 1: As you can imagine, not a single South Asian woman 59 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 1: on Earth is waking up thinking I hope I become 60 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 1: a comic. That's not a thing in our culture, like 61 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 1: having fun is not a thing in our culture. But 62 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: my all American kids saw it in me before I 63 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: saw it in me or anybody else did. And for 64 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 1: that reason, she's now part of my business. She just 65 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 1: graduated Stanford. She's running my business now and helping it 66 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,600 Speaker 1: grow and enter a digital phase. 67 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,640 Speaker 3: Thank you so much for having. 68 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:28,000 Speaker 7: Me, Thank you for being with us. We're honored to 69 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:31,080 Speaker 7: have you and have this conversation. 70 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 6: And congratulations on your recent graduation. 71 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 7: On this show, we like to go all the way 72 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 7: back to where it kind of started. Someone asked you 73 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 7: about a moment that was both heartbreaking and life changing. 74 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:48,120 Speaker 7: You were just fourteen years old when your mother tragically died. 75 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,960 Speaker 7: Your father told you that you had two choices, get 76 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:58,000 Speaker 7: married by arrangement or leave home. Can you take us 77 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 7: back to that moment and face seeing that choice? 78 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:05,400 Speaker 1: So this story is extremely is completely accurate, But the 79 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:09,600 Speaker 1: truth is that I wasn't. I wasn't heartbroken then because 80 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 1: I thought he was kidding. I didn't believe that he 81 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 1: meant that. You know, he was also shocked from losing 82 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 1: his wife, my mother, So when he said all that, 83 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this is a moment, this is 84 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 1: gonna pass. Like there's no way he means this. So 85 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,680 Speaker 1: it wasn't actually heartbreaking as much as it was like, 86 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: what am I supposed to do? Because we were both 87 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,920 Speaker 1: grieving in our own ways. You know, I was shocked 88 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,760 Speaker 1: that my mom. I didn't even know she was that 89 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,280 Speaker 1: sick because they don't tell the kids anything back home. 90 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,480 Speaker 1: They don't actually like, you know, how in America would 91 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 1: be like, who's going to talk to the kids. That's 92 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,279 Speaker 1: not a thing in India. The kids are kind of 93 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,680 Speaker 1: in the background. They just hear whatever's in the air. 94 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,360 Speaker 1: So I didn't even know she was as sick as 95 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,839 Speaker 1: she was. And then I heard one day that she's no. 96 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:04,280 Speaker 1: So I had my own shock, and then he had 97 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:07,279 Speaker 1: his own shocks. And I didn't leave my house like 98 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:11,359 Speaker 1: wanting to take a big stand. But at fourteen fifteen, 99 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,720 Speaker 1: if your parent tells you do this or else, you 100 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 1: immediately think, well, I don't have to be here. I 101 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,159 Speaker 1: have so many friends I could be hanging out with. 102 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:22,919 Speaker 1: And that's kind of how that moment erupted and grew 103 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 1: because I told him, no, I'm not getting married, and 104 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,480 Speaker 1: he's like, if you don't get married, you can't live here. 105 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,200 Speaker 1: I was a foe who wants to be here anyway? 106 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 1: I have so many friends And it kind of was 107 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:37,240 Speaker 1: one of those moments that then never reverse course. As 108 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 1: time went by, I realized how serious he was, and 109 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,800 Speaker 1: then the reality of my limited options started setting in 110 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,560 Speaker 1: over time immediately after those days. 111 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,720 Speaker 8: Just on that note, because I understand, and after that 112 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 8: you spent a year homeless and then eventually agreed to 113 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:57,280 Speaker 8: marry somebody that your father chose in that process. Just 114 00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:00,480 Speaker 8: before the wedding, your visit to the United States came through. 115 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:02,719 Speaker 8: So take us back to that time and what was 116 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 8: your first few months in America? 117 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,479 Speaker 1: Like so, I it was almost two years actually a 118 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,800 Speaker 1: year and a half plus of drifting of what in 119 00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 1: America is called CouchSurfing. So it wasn't it wasn't homeless 120 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:19,120 Speaker 1: in that traditional way that I was literally out on 121 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,359 Speaker 1: the streets, but I was like trying to lob pieces 122 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,719 Speaker 1: together with this person can take me in on Monday, 123 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,680 Speaker 1: but if you can take me in on Thursday, then 124 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 1: I'm going to find like a bridge in between. You know. 125 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,279 Speaker 1: My mom had a lot of goodwill with her friends, 126 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,919 Speaker 1: so they there were a lot of people concerned for 127 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 1: my well being, but they were also very afraid of 128 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,159 Speaker 1: my dad. My dad was a very powerful rich man 129 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,239 Speaker 1: in that world, so they didn't want to they didn't 130 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:49,200 Speaker 1: want to like take the daughter in permanently. But they 131 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,719 Speaker 1: also couldn't just shut the door in my face. So 132 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 1: it was a lot of push and pull, and at 133 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,440 Speaker 1: some point I gave up. I was like, I can't 134 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:59,039 Speaker 1: you know, you wear the system wears you out, Like 135 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 1: at some point you exhausted, You're like, this is not happening. 136 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: So I did go back to my dad and I 137 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 1: was like, I actually remember saying you win. I didn't 138 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 1: know what else to say, so I was like, you 139 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 1: win whatever you want to do, you know, And he 140 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:16,640 Speaker 1: didn't see it as a win. Just to be clear, 141 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,040 Speaker 1: he was not a mean person. He was not a 142 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:22,320 Speaker 1: horrible person. In his eyes. He was doing what was 143 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:26,120 Speaker 1: right for his kid. Back where I come from, even today, 144 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 1: a lot of women get married in their teen years. 145 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 1: This is not an unusual thing. Certainly fourteen fifteen was 146 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 1: a little younger than the norm. But we were not 147 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,120 Speaker 1: talking about a world where it's never been done. It's 148 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:42,160 Speaker 1: been done all the time. So he was very very 149 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 1: much like, okay, now you've come to your senses. But 150 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 1: the day I met the guy that he had set 151 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 1: me up with, and he, I'm sure is a lovely 152 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:54,000 Speaker 1: man today married to a woman my age, That's the 153 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 1: day I got a telegram saying my visa had been approved. 154 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 7: Wow. 155 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 1: Because I had been trying for so long and my 156 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 1: sister living in America was trying to help me and 157 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,680 Speaker 1: trying to figure out, like how the paperwork works. You know, 158 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 1: it's like getting a proper visa to come to America 159 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:14,280 Speaker 1: is not easy, especially from India. So much paperwork involved, 160 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 1: so much proof involved. 161 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,840 Speaker 8: Wow, when you were hearing and have come to understand 162 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 8: your mom's trials and tribulations, ups and downs, how did 163 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,640 Speaker 8: that change your perspective and your relationship with her? 164 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,800 Speaker 3: Well, she wouldn't tell me anything. 165 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:33,520 Speaker 4: When you're growing up in America, you are told to 166 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 4: ask questions, especially about your family's history and your family's background. 167 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,320 Speaker 5: And your mom is shaking her head for those of 168 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 5: our listeners who are listening, and your mom is shaking 169 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 5: her head as you're saying that, yeah, because you. 170 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,560 Speaker 4: Know, you want to know where you came from. But 171 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,880 Speaker 4: when I would ask her questions, she would say, yes, no, 172 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,640 Speaker 4: focus on your homework. 173 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 3: You know, like why are you asking me these questions? 174 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,600 Speaker 4: And over time I became persistent enough that I would 175 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,440 Speaker 4: get fragments. You know, I would say, oh, how did 176 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,600 Speaker 4: you where were you born? You know, Oh I was 177 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,319 Speaker 4: born in India. Okay, how did you get to America? 178 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,920 Speaker 4: Oh it's a long story. But I lived with your aunt, 179 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,160 Speaker 4: and you know, I would start to pick up the 180 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:17,559 Speaker 4: puzzle pieces. And when I was growing up, I started 181 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 4: to realize, well done, these puzzle pieces look very different 182 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 4: than a lot of my peers. There's something different in 183 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:27,440 Speaker 4: this story. And it became so obvious when I was 184 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,320 Speaker 4: kind of a teenager and she was starting to start 185 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 4: her own businesses that something was very different about her 186 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 4: resilience and the way that she thought about building things. 187 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 4: It was just way more fearless than anything I'd ever 188 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 4: seen in my life. 189 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 3: So to answer your question, I didn't know anything. 190 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:48,040 Speaker 4: And it took me probably fifteen years, and then after 191 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 4: the book came out, I finally got the whole story 192 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:51,360 Speaker 4: with everyone else. 193 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,200 Speaker 6: Wow, And let me tell you something. 194 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 5: As a mom, you're gonna keep discovering more and more 195 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 5: things you don't know our door like every other she's like, oh, 196 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,960 Speaker 5: I didn't know that about you. I didn't knowh So 197 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 5: you think you know there's still more to uncover. 198 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:09,800 Speaker 1: And you can't tell these kids anything. Everything traumatizes that, 199 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 1: everything gives them anxiety. What am I going to tell her? 200 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 1: What am I gonna tell her? 201 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:14,400 Speaker 2: That? 202 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:14,640 Speaker 4: Like? 203 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 1: It was you know, my son, her little one was like, 204 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 1: how do I not know any of this? Because he 205 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:23,640 Speaker 1: read the book? His classmates were reading the book, And 206 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,360 Speaker 1: I was like, don't read the book because it was 207 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,560 Speaker 1: not easy. But if I tell you that, like, that's 208 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,440 Speaker 1: ten thousand dollars of therapy, I'll have to pay. 209 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:33,960 Speaker 6: I have to ask this question. 210 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:37,920 Speaker 5: You were twenty two years old when you posted a 211 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 5: personal ad. Some of our listeners may not know what 212 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 5: that is. But that's like before the dating apps, and 213 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 5: in the ad. I'm going to read exactly what you 214 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,920 Speaker 5: wrote because I think it's. 215 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,319 Speaker 6: Great to some. 216 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:54,200 Speaker 5: I am too short or too plump, too dark, or 217 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 5: too argumentative, But enough about me. This is what I 218 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:02,440 Speaker 5: need from you. Kindly include your most recent tax returns 219 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:08,079 Speaker 5: and medical records. Now, your future husband responded, is this 220 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 5: ridiculous ad? 221 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 8: For real? 222 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,080 Speaker 5: And that was over twenty five years ago and you 223 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,640 Speaker 5: all are still together. What's the biggest mistake you see 224 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 5: young people making when they're looking for a partner. 225 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:24,480 Speaker 1: There's this idea that you can cast a wide net, 226 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,679 Speaker 1: meet everybody, and then the right one will show up. 227 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:31,320 Speaker 1: I actually believe the opposite. I think cast a very 228 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:35,240 Speaker 1: narrow net. Look for exactly what you want, or you 229 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 1: think you want, at least, because there's just no point 230 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,840 Speaker 1: lying about what might or might not work. You know, 231 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:46,520 Speaker 1: the things that you were gravitating towards that makes sense 232 00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 1: in your world. And also, time is so limited. I 233 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:53,640 Speaker 1: remember I was like graduating law school. I didn't feel 234 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:56,680 Speaker 1: like at that time, I thought, oh my god, my 235 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,679 Speaker 1: time is up because the world I came from twenty 236 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,679 Speaker 1: two was being a spring. It was too late. So 237 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,000 Speaker 1: I think the big mistake people make is trying to 238 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:08,080 Speaker 1: be everything to everybody. You have to be something to somebody, 239 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:11,240 Speaker 1: one person, and that's it. Now I can read the 240 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 1: things I needed from him, because I think it was 241 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:18,320 Speaker 1: very specific and I and I stuck to it, and 242 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:21,080 Speaker 1: I actually think it helped me. I mean, is it different. 243 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,480 Speaker 8: Did you get the tax of turns of medical records? 244 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:24,000 Speaker 1: Pey yet? 245 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:24,200 Speaker 3: No? 246 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 1: Well he fought it, honestly. He was not happy about 247 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 1: it because he came from a modern America, and I 248 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:35,920 Speaker 1: was like, oh, whatever, you own your modern America. This 249 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 1: is what I need from you. A husband and a partner, 250 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:42,800 Speaker 1: somebody who's ambitious but not ruthless, confident but not arrogant, 251 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,840 Speaker 1: and humble but not timid. Most of all, he is honest. 252 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,120 Speaker 1: Twenty seven years later, too honest. But that's a different problem. 253 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:51,319 Speaker 6: I understand that. 254 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:56,440 Speaker 1: I am on a mission to build a very successful life, 255 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 1: and you must be ready to go with me. Only 256 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,400 Speaker 1: contact me if you want to get get married. No, 257 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 1: friends now include your tax returns in medical records. So 258 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,960 Speaker 1: that's the other thing. A lot of people in the 259 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:12,720 Speaker 1: dating world will be like, we should be friends, Like, no, 260 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 1: there's not an app for friendship, Like, you know, if 261 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,120 Speaker 1: some guy doesn't want to get married, like, why are 262 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,960 Speaker 1: we and you want to, let's say that's what you 263 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:24,520 Speaker 1: want for yourself. Why would you waste time? You know 264 00:13:24,559 --> 00:13:27,240 Speaker 1: what I mean? So I personally think people should be 265 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 1: very specific about what they want and believe and have 266 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:34,120 Speaker 1: faith that that's out there. Yeah, and not be scared 267 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:34,600 Speaker 1: about it. 268 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 6: Yes. 269 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,000 Speaker 4: I don't know if the listeners can tell, but she 270 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:40,160 Speaker 4: was glaring at me really intently as she was giving 271 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:43,439 Speaker 4: this entire speech because she thinks that she should have 272 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 4: a pretty large say and who I date. 273 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,360 Speaker 3: And especially who I marry. 274 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,559 Speaker 4: I should basically have no criteria on my own and 275 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:54,360 Speaker 4: should adopt hers as my only criteria. So we go 276 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,680 Speaker 4: back and forth on this a lot, because I actually 277 00:13:56,679 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 4: think you learn a lot about yourself by dating people, 278 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,720 Speaker 4: and I don't think it needs to be so black 279 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 4: and white, and you need to find your partner to 280 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:05,200 Speaker 4: be married to. 281 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:09,160 Speaker 6: Immediately, your mom is shaking her head. 282 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,079 Speaker 8: I have I have two daughters, and I have to 283 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 8: be to agree with your mom in this one. 284 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,679 Speaker 1: Thank you, Mark, thank you, thank you. 285 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,360 Speaker 3: How old are your daughters? 286 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:19,640 Speaker 1: Mark? 287 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 8: Oh? Sorry, thanks for asking. I've got fourteen going on 288 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 8: twenty eighth. My goodness, I've got eleven. That's the fact. 289 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:34,920 Speaker 8: Oh boy, yesterday, yesterday we had this lovely conversation about 290 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,080 Speaker 8: alcohol and whether it's appropriate at the age of eighteen 291 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,600 Speaker 8: to drink alcohol as a quote unquote rite of passage. 292 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,200 Speaker 8: So Zarna, what do you think about that one? If 293 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,320 Speaker 8: I could get your advice on it. 294 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:48,920 Speaker 1: Two of my kids are adults and they have both yogis, 295 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,920 Speaker 1: and it's actually annoying. I used to think, don't drink alcohol. 296 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,720 Speaker 1: Now I'm like, drink a little because this generation has 297 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,840 Speaker 1: taken a whole another extreme position where it's like you 298 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 1: could never touch this, you can never touch that. So 299 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 1: if they catch me drinking, I get reprimanded. What I 300 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:11,440 Speaker 1: think you'll see Mark, and you guys when your kids 301 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:15,360 Speaker 1: go to college, there is a real non alcohol movement 302 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 1: that's very real. Like you know, our generation grew up, 303 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,160 Speaker 1: we couldn't wait, that's just not the case that I 304 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 1: find with these kids. 305 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:27,960 Speaker 7: So you're watching your mom and dad's relationship. One of 306 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:31,200 Speaker 7: the biggest lessons you've learned about what makes a marriage 307 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 7: work that you want to carry into your relationships. 308 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:37,000 Speaker 3: Don't talk to each other. 309 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:43,040 Speaker 4: They are so intensely loyal to one another, and yet 310 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:46,840 Speaker 4: I've never seen them hold hands. I've never seen them kiss, 311 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:51,160 Speaker 4: I've never seen them go on a romantic candlelight dinner. 312 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,280 Speaker 4: I have seen them do what I actually think are 313 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:58,280 Speaker 4: the important things, which are figure out how to build 314 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:02,080 Speaker 4: a life together. Intensely loyal to one another. You know, 315 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:05,400 Speaker 4: my on a sincere note my and we talk about 316 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:08,320 Speaker 4: this on our family podcast too. It's a very open discussion. 317 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:12,000 Speaker 4: But during COVID, my dad lost his very you know, 318 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 4: comfortable finance job, and his identity was very tied to 319 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,800 Speaker 4: his ambition and to his success in this job. And 320 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 4: at this point, my mom's career had just started to 321 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,239 Speaker 4: take off, but was nowhere close to where. 322 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 3: It is now. 323 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:30,120 Speaker 4: And I think a lot of people would have taken 324 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 4: my dad's you know, he really had to redefine what 325 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:38,000 Speaker 4: success looked like for him and come out from under, 326 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 4: you know, seeing his entire self worth tied to this job, 327 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:46,440 Speaker 4: and for years my mom and him like, no matter 328 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 4: how hard it got figured out, like, how are we 329 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:49,760 Speaker 4: gonna do this? 330 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,360 Speaker 3: How are we gonna build a life for each for. 331 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,480 Speaker 4: Coming out of this, like he launched his own podcast, 332 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:56,600 Speaker 4: he launched his own business. Coming out of this, my 333 00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 4: dad turned into a social media personality. I don't think, 334 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:04,320 Speaker 4: like I want to explain how phenomenally interesting that is. 335 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,919 Speaker 4: It's so so normal for American people to take creative 336 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,720 Speaker 4: ambition because we've normalized it, and that's a good thing. 337 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,560 Speaker 4: But for my dad, who went to it, which is 338 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:17,639 Speaker 4: the most renowned science and math college in the world, 339 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:22,399 Speaker 4: to go from like a chemical engineer to a finance 340 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 4: professional to now a podcast host who is helping people 341 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:31,440 Speaker 4: learn about money, like the heroic trajectory of that. 342 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,600 Speaker 3: No one in his community had ever seen that. 343 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:37,399 Speaker 4: And that was entirely because of my mom's support and 344 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,119 Speaker 4: just loyalty and in designing together. 345 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,680 Speaker 3: But they've never done any. 346 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,680 Speaker 4: Of the They never did any of the fluffy stuff, 347 00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,919 Speaker 4: you know, like there was none of the like you 348 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:48,919 Speaker 4: know in dating culture. 349 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,880 Speaker 3: Now it's like, did he comment on my Instagram? 350 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 6: Oh my god, your mom is rolling her ass. 351 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:58,520 Speaker 1: He's blocked on my page. He's blocked on my page. 352 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,040 Speaker 1: I don't want him to comment. Please, I don't want 353 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,760 Speaker 1: to hear whatever he's thinking. No way, if we don't 354 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:07,040 Speaker 1: even follow, this is true. Your producers can check this. 355 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:16,879 Speaker 1: He unfollowed me, Emmy, Wow, what was his reasoning? He's like, 356 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,720 Speaker 1: you post too much stuff about all this other stuff. 357 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:21,919 Speaker 1: I can't it's too much activity on my page. And 358 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 1: he just unfollowed me. 359 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,240 Speaker 3: He only follows Bloomberg. 360 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,159 Speaker 1: He follows all these finance people. 361 00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:33,920 Speaker 8: That's so funny. Zoya, Obviously you've not only adore your mom, 362 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,040 Speaker 8: but you've had a huge impact on her career. So, 363 00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:39,720 Speaker 8: if I'm not mistaken, at the age of sixteen, you, 364 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,640 Speaker 8: at her birthday gave her one hundred and forty six 365 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:48,120 Speaker 8: handwritten notes, nonetheless handwritten notes, encouraging her from her friendship 366 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,520 Speaker 8: group to become a comedian. So what did you see 367 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:55,560 Speaker 8: in her that nobody else had articulated clearly until you 368 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,200 Speaker 8: by those handwritten notes. 369 00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:02,240 Speaker 4: I saw her funniness, her storytelling skills as something that 370 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:06,320 Speaker 4: could make us money. You know, she was really a 371 00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:09,000 Speaker 4: personality from the moment I was born. 372 00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:10,280 Speaker 3: My friends would. 373 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,000 Speaker 4: Always want to come to my house because we obviously 374 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,200 Speaker 4: had the best food, of course obviously, but on top 375 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,959 Speaker 4: of that, they wanted to get advice from Auntie Zarna. 376 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,879 Speaker 4: They wanted to hear what she had to say on 377 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,679 Speaker 4: every topic, on who has a crush on who, what 378 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,440 Speaker 4: the mean teacher is saying. You know, she just had 379 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:31,680 Speaker 4: this magnetism that was so obvious that, especially when I 380 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 4: was sixteen. She had started several businesses at this point, 381 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:40,680 Speaker 4: Tomato sauce company, matchmaking, business, tutoring, and these businesses were 382 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:44,919 Speaker 4: not working because the products weren't the right fit. But 383 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,359 Speaker 4: what I would notice in all of these businesses that 384 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:51,640 Speaker 4: she started was people would buy whatever she was selling 385 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,159 Speaker 4: just because they wanted an extra minute with her. And 386 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 4: it was just such a nascent idea. And for her 387 00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:01,040 Speaker 4: birthday when I was sixteen. At this point, I had 388 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,480 Speaker 4: said why don't you try stand up comedy several times, 389 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,400 Speaker 4: which she would always reply, that's not a job, right 390 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,960 Speaker 4: You can't get paid to make people laugh. 391 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,960 Speaker 3: And I was like, we're in America, that's actually like 392 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:14,480 Speaker 3: the coolest job in the world. 393 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 4: I had reached out to several of her friends and 394 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 4: family members, but I didn't lead the question. I just said, Hey, 395 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:24,919 Speaker 4: I'm assembling a gift for mom. Just write anything and 396 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:29,200 Speaker 4: I'll transcribe it. But I knew that everyone was going 397 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:32,520 Speaker 4: to comment on her personality, her warmth, and the ability 398 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,240 Speaker 4: that she had to make people feel good about themselves 399 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,280 Speaker 4: and feel good about the world we were heading into. 400 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,199 Speaker 3: And that's exactly what happened. 401 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,439 Speaker 4: When she started picking out the notes, it was like, 402 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,760 Speaker 4: one by one by one, every single message was like, 403 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,119 Speaker 4: you are the funniest person that I know. And then 404 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,919 Speaker 4: very shortly after, she did a open mic at the 405 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,320 Speaker 4: worst stand up comedy club in the world. It won't 406 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,360 Speaker 4: be named, because I don't even think there is a name, 407 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,840 Speaker 4: and there were two or three people in the audience 408 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:02,560 Speaker 4: that had bought the five dollars ticket, and she was 409 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:06,159 Speaker 4: just ranting I remember about me and her mother in 410 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,919 Speaker 4: law and math and how we all need to be 411 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:12,440 Speaker 4: doing more math. And the people in the audience were 412 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,800 Speaker 4: just dying. They were falling off their chairs, and I 413 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,080 Speaker 4: remember the club manager said, how long has she been 414 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:18,280 Speaker 4: doing this to me? 415 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:21,000 Speaker 3: And I was like, whoa, we have a business here. 416 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:24,280 Speaker 4: And then it just kept and then you know everything 417 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,640 Speaker 4: else from that point onwards, I want to be really 418 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,120 Speaker 4: truthful a lot of people credit me and my brothers, 419 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:32,359 Speaker 4: but to have taken that Nason idea and turned it 420 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:35,400 Speaker 4: into the empire that she has that was entirely from 421 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:39,080 Speaker 4: her and her adaptability and resilience. I mean, I think 422 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,240 Speaker 4: she's actually a visionary. It's so hard for me to 423 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,600 Speaker 4: have an opinion now because I think she's so brilliant 424 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 4: that I'm like, why should I have an opinion, Like 425 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:46,879 Speaker 4: she should just tell me what did do? 426 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:52,240 Speaker 1: And that's why mom controls the dating decisions, because mom 427 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,240 Speaker 1: can tell you what to do exactly. 428 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:59,960 Speaker 5: But it seems like Zoia the daughter controls the professional. 429 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,640 Speaker 1: No, she does. She's running my whole company now. 430 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,399 Speaker 5: And think about that though, like literally, like from you know, 431 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,240 Speaker 5: our age, like we were raised like we give the 432 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:12,560 Speaker 5: children the advice. Yeah, so the fact that in this 433 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:17,240 Speaker 5: instance your children really really were the impetus to really 434 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:20,320 Speaker 5: give you the professional advice. 435 00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 6: And we see how the story has ended. 436 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:26,439 Speaker 1: Well it's ongoing. I mean, the story about her notes. 437 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,399 Speaker 1: I just want to say, this is the reason she 438 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,240 Speaker 1: didn't get a perfect score on the SAT. She was 439 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:34,560 Speaker 1: too busy writing. She lost ten points. I was so 440 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:36,960 Speaker 1: angry when I found out she was wasting time on 441 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:41,439 Speaker 1: these notes, but the story is still ongoing. It is 442 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:45,360 Speaker 1: unfolding because she's leading us into a digital world. That's 443 00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 1: why she's living in San Francisco, because you know, you 444 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:52,119 Speaker 1: have to adapt even to that. I'm a stand up 445 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:55,040 Speaker 1: comic and you guys are podcasting. It's like, but we 446 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,040 Speaker 1: don't know what next year is going to look like, 447 00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,920 Speaker 1: what the next iteration of this business is gonna look 448 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 1: So she's stasked with taking our company into the next generation. 449 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,800 Speaker 1: And that's what she's doing out there. 450 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,800 Speaker 4: And one note I want to make on adaptability because 451 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,560 Speaker 4: I actually think this story is super important and we 452 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,880 Speaker 4: don't talk about it enough. So early on in her career, 453 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,600 Speaker 4: when she was doing open mics, she started to actually 454 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,040 Speaker 4: gain some traction at the clubs. 455 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:21,520 Speaker 3: This was pre pandemic. 456 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,080 Speaker 4: But then as soon as she got her biggest headlining gig, 457 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:29,639 Speaker 4: which was at Caroline's on Broadway, the club's closed because 458 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 4: the pandemic happened and comedians had no idea what to do. 459 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,160 Speaker 4: I mean, this was their life's work to perform in clubs, 460 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,879 Speaker 4: especially at her stage. We had had all these recordings 461 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 4: of her jokes and my brother Bridge, who was you know, 462 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,840 Speaker 4: he was fourteen at the time, and at this point 463 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,120 Speaker 4: he was addicted to TikTok. He was like, I think 464 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,480 Speaker 4: we should cut these jokes up and upload them on TikTok. 465 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:57,199 Speaker 3: And this point in time that was foreign because for 466 00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:58,000 Speaker 3: comedians the. 467 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,399 Speaker 4: Idea was to save all your material so that you 468 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:01,760 Speaker 4: could sell tickets to your show. 469 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,880 Speaker 3: Comedians would never post their stand up online. 470 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,000 Speaker 4: Why would you do that. You're giving away the goods 471 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:11,000 Speaker 4: for free. And my brother was insistent. He was like, 472 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:12,600 Speaker 4: if we are the first. 473 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:16,040 Speaker 3: Ones to put comedy online, mom might. 474 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,359 Speaker 4: Skyrocket and people might just see her as like the 475 00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:22,680 Speaker 4: funniest comedian ever. And so he uploaded her first ever 476 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:24,960 Speaker 4: I've never said I Love you to my husband joke 477 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,880 Speaker 4: on TikTok. This was two weeks into the pandemic, and 478 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,639 Speaker 4: I remember he uploaded it and it was like one 479 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:35,000 Speaker 4: hundred thousand views, two hundred thousand views, a million views, 480 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:38,400 Speaker 4: ten million views, and we kept seeing the number refresh and. 481 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,080 Speaker 3: We were like, is this the lottery? Did we just 482 00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,960 Speaker 3: win something? Like what's going on? Is this a scam? 483 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,400 Speaker 4: And it wasn't a scam, Like the joke was being 484 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,400 Speaker 4: shared by millions of people around the world, and she 485 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,760 Speaker 4: is the she was the one who started that movement. 486 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,280 Speaker 4: Now every comedian posts their jokes online, but if she 487 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:56,960 Speaker 4: had not adapted in that moment, that was one of 488 00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:58,320 Speaker 4: the critical moments in the business. 489 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,000 Speaker 3: I don't even know if I would have a job 490 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,800 Speaker 3: right now if that hadn't worked out and she hadn't 491 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:04,760 Speaker 3: made that leap of faith. 492 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:08,000 Speaker 6: And that came from your brother, Yeah, but. 493 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,400 Speaker 4: It came from my brother and her also being so 494 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:13,560 Speaker 4: fearless and seeing like, if we don't roll the dice, 495 00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:16,720 Speaker 4: we will not move forward. We can't do the same 496 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,120 Speaker 4: thing as everyone else because we're too late into this game, 497 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:20,400 Speaker 4: and that's not gonna work for us. 498 00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:24,000 Speaker 8: I think we're all dying. Why have you never told 499 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:24,520 Speaker 8: your husband? 500 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,960 Speaker 1: Why you Well, I would never do that. It's only 501 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:34,440 Speaker 1: been twenty seven years. There's no rush, no no oh. 502 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 1: So it's just not something we do. It's just not 503 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,400 Speaker 1: I can't even you know. I was on a TV show, 504 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 1: like a news show, and they're like, do you want 505 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:42,760 Speaker 1: to see it? Do you want to say it? I 506 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:45,200 Speaker 1: was like, no, I have no desire. We're good, We're 507 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:49,680 Speaker 1: really good. If she said it to me, they offered 508 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 1: to call him so I could say it. I said, 509 00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,760 Speaker 1: if I called him and said it now over the phone. 510 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,919 Speaker 1: He's gonna think I'm in a car accident and I'm 511 00:25:55,960 --> 00:26:00,080 Speaker 1: about to pass. That's not chock it please you. 512 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,400 Speaker 6: You're just saving it for a really good time. 513 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:07,120 Speaker 4: Like she said, I love you to an Amazon customer 514 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:11,240 Speaker 4: service rap. By the way, that's the only person he 515 00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:13,199 Speaker 4: found a missing package like you. 516 00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:17,119 Speaker 1: If you order a lot, you know that's what's. 517 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,600 Speaker 7: Your mom has talked about the wait list for Friendship. 518 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:24,160 Speaker 7: You're on the list, but your brother Bridge is always 519 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:24,760 Speaker 7: number one. 520 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:32,000 Speaker 1: You complain a lot. That's not helping you. 521 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,479 Speaker 5: But Zara, when you started comedy listen, there were no 522 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:39,680 Speaker 5: female Indian comedians doing what you're doing. Yeah, and then 523 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,760 Speaker 5: you also wear bendi on stage. You joke about mother 524 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:46,119 Speaker 5: in law's arranged marriages, all the things that Indian women 525 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 5: typically don't. 526 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:48,240 Speaker 6: Discuss in public. 527 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:52,800 Speaker 5: What was the initial reaction from the Indian community And 528 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,840 Speaker 5: I'm very curious and also did that change over time? 529 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:59,439 Speaker 1: My community has been most supportive since day one, but 530 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,159 Speaker 1: they didn't know what it was. We are not a 531 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,320 Speaker 1: people who go to clubs for fun, to drink, to 532 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,399 Speaker 1: hang out. That's not our world. It's not a word. 533 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,919 Speaker 1: We are comfortable and I had never stepped foot in 534 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,320 Speaker 1: a comedy club until the day I did the open mic. 535 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,320 Speaker 1: I didn't know what this thing was where people just 536 00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:19,240 Speaker 1: sit around and tell jokes and pay money for it. 537 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:23,000 Speaker 1: But also, remember when I tried comedy, I had already 538 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:27,320 Speaker 1: failed at so many things. My community was fed up 539 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:31,199 Speaker 1: of announcements from me. The match making was such a 540 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:34,440 Speaker 1: big I made this big grand I'm a matchmakers, and 541 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,840 Speaker 1: all your kids to me. And then it was the 542 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:40,080 Speaker 1: most traumatic experience for my community because I was telling 543 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:42,520 Speaker 1: everybody it was too late. They needed to lose weight. 544 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:46,200 Speaker 1: This guy is never gonna find anybody. Oh my god. 545 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,680 Speaker 1: By the time I got to comedy, people were like, 546 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,640 Speaker 1: whatever she wants to do, it's great, you have our blessings, 547 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:55,520 Speaker 1: go do it. It started making sense when actually it 548 00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,000 Speaker 1: was not the Indian community, but it was all the 549 00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:02,200 Speaker 1: other Americans started coming out and being like, oh my god, 550 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,399 Speaker 1: this is so funny because making mother in law jokes 551 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:07,960 Speaker 1: is not a new thing. It has existed in culture, 552 00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:11,399 Speaker 1: just not in our culture. So we had a lot 553 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,719 Speaker 1: of non Indians who would come out and be like, 554 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,960 Speaker 1: oh my god, Like I'm telling you, the black community 555 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:19,439 Speaker 1: often tells me that they have an auntie just like 556 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:21,200 Speaker 1: me who's got a big mouth. 557 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,440 Speaker 6: Absolutely right. 558 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,960 Speaker 1: So it's like this was not new to a lot 559 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:31,040 Speaker 1: of community. The Jewish community is always telling me that, like, 560 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:35,439 Speaker 1: I sound like a Jewish mom. So it kind of 561 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,840 Speaker 1: started turning. And then more and more Indians started coming 562 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,120 Speaker 1: out with the idea that, oh, we're just gonna like 563 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:44,360 Speaker 1: sit and have fun on a Saturday night. Like I've 564 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,000 Speaker 1: joked about this with Tina and Amy. I opened for 565 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,960 Speaker 1: Tina Fae and Amy Polar for two years and I 566 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,520 Speaker 1: told him, I said, Indians don't watch Saturday Night Live 567 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:56,480 Speaker 1: because we think Saturday night is for that extra Sat class. 568 00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:02,680 Speaker 1: We would never waste a Saturday night on like having fun. 569 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 1: But now more and more they come out, and they 570 00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:09,000 Speaker 1: come out in families. They bring their own mother in law. 571 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:11,440 Speaker 1: Oh my god, so many people bring their mother in 572 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,120 Speaker 1: law to my show because they're like give her a message, 573 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:18,200 Speaker 1: Like they want to pay me extra to deliver messages 574 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,360 Speaker 1: to their Like they'll they bring their kids and be 575 00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:22,040 Speaker 1: like tell him not to do history. 576 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,280 Speaker 8: You know, what do we need to know about mother 577 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:27,120 Speaker 8: in laws? This is really important? Oh my god, what 578 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,040 Speaker 8: just just give us a quick schooling. 579 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,920 Speaker 1: Mother and I'm telling you my career was on a 580 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:37,320 Speaker 1: roll in twenty nineteen. I had just sold out Carolines 581 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:39,800 Speaker 1: on Broadway, which was a big deal, and then the 582 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:42,520 Speaker 1: world shut down, and you know, in America, everybody was 583 00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:46,160 Speaker 1: debating where did the virus come from? Was it a bat, 584 00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:48,720 Speaker 1: was it a lab? It came from my mother in 585 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:53,640 Speaker 1: law's kitchen. This woman was gonna do whatever it took 586 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:57,080 Speaker 1: to take me down. And that is that is what 587 00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:00,960 Speaker 1: a mother in law is. Right now, Wow, she's actively. 588 00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:04,960 Speaker 1: I have more than thirteen thousand amazing reviews for my book. 589 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:09,200 Speaker 1: The handful of one star reviews have all come from 590 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:15,440 Speaker 1: the same region in India as suspiciously close to where 591 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,400 Speaker 1: she lives. Is it a coincidence? 592 00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,680 Speaker 6: I cannot wait until your mother in law. 593 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:26,800 Speaker 1: Oh I'm gonna be horrible. The level I'm gonna be horrible. 594 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,360 Speaker 1: I can already see it because everybody my kids bring 595 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:30,440 Speaker 1: home is no good. 596 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:34,280 Speaker 5: No, no, no, it's good. Now you said that you 597 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:37,600 Speaker 5: open for Tina Fey and Amy Poehler on their tour. Now, 598 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,560 Speaker 5: these are two of the most successful iconic women in comedy. 599 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,840 Speaker 5: Getting to watch them perform night after night and seeing 600 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,440 Speaker 5: how they work up close and personal what's the one 601 00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:51,200 Speaker 5: thing that you took away that stayed with you. 602 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,360 Speaker 1: You can mix business and pleasure. I grew up in 603 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:58,120 Speaker 1: a generation that said, don't mix business and pleasure, because 604 00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:00,680 Speaker 1: the men went to work, the women stay home. That's 605 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,040 Speaker 1: the way I grew up. That's what I grew up seeing. 606 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,200 Speaker 1: Then now I saw these two women best friends who 607 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:11,600 Speaker 1: built individually huge empires themselves. But a big reason they've 608 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:13,680 Speaker 1: been able to build it is because they have each 609 00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:17,600 Speaker 1: other even to lean on through the tough times, sometimes 610 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:20,960 Speaker 1: to make that extra call for the other person. I 611 00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:24,680 Speaker 1: really learned the in fact, they inspired me to have 612 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,360 Speaker 1: the courage to say to my daughter, turned down every 613 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:30,480 Speaker 1: big tech job and come work with me. I don't 614 00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:33,280 Speaker 1: know if I had not seen them up close, if 615 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,760 Speaker 1: I would have had the courage to make that big 616 00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:38,640 Speaker 1: move for my daughter. Do you know what I mean? 617 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:40,640 Speaker 6: Yeah, the power of women in community too. 618 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:45,080 Speaker 1: And I think women and friends building together is a 619 00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:47,880 Speaker 1: very real thing. And I mean I saw them hang 620 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,680 Speaker 1: out with all their SNL friends, you know, backstage, and 621 00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,520 Speaker 1: they're all individually building their own things. But I think 622 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:57,840 Speaker 1: that they are so successful in part because they have 623 00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:00,520 Speaker 1: each other yea, And that is the opposite of what 624 00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,680 Speaker 1: I believe most of my life growing up. 625 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:07,040 Speaker 5: Yeah, women we build webs and men build ladders, so 626 00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:10,520 Speaker 5: we act write webs and connections and so yeah. 627 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:14,160 Speaker 1: Exactly, And I really saw it, and then it changed 628 00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:16,640 Speaker 1: how I decided to build my business. 629 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:23,440 Speaker 8: Yeah, speaking about your business, Zoya, obviously you've helped to 630 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,800 Speaker 8: build your mom's business. What's been the hardest part about 631 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:29,160 Speaker 8: being both her of course the daughter of your mother 632 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:30,479 Speaker 8: and her business partner. 633 00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:38,280 Speaker 4: We could really use an HR department, No, I think 634 00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:42,440 Speaker 4: actually the hardest part for me has been learning how 635 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 4: to define my own narrative because so many people see 636 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 4: what I'm doing with my mom. 637 00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:49,280 Speaker 3: As the most unusual thing. 638 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:51,720 Speaker 4: They can't even wrap their heads around the fact that 639 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,200 Speaker 4: I love working with my mom so much and I 640 00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:56,560 Speaker 4: learned so much from her every day that it is 641 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 4: the best possible thing for me right now. I think 642 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,760 Speaker 4: I have had the experience where I've gotten minimized to oh, 643 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:06,240 Speaker 4: she's a NEPO baby, and it's like, whoa, we didn't 644 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:10,000 Speaker 4: even have anything until a few years ago. Yeah, And 645 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,240 Speaker 4: so to be honest, that was that's been a real 646 00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:16,240 Speaker 4: challenge for me, is like staying the course and knowing 647 00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:20,040 Speaker 4: that what we're building together is so important and focusing 648 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:24,040 Speaker 4: especially on exactly the community she's talking about at our shows. 649 00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:27,120 Speaker 3: For six months after I graduated Stanford. 650 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:28,560 Speaker 4: I went on tour and I was at every tour 651 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,800 Speaker 4: stop learning about who is enjoying our products, like who 652 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,920 Speaker 4: is bought into our world. And the most fascinating thing 653 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,959 Speaker 4: I learned is so many people who came to that 654 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:41,640 Speaker 4: show were it was their first ever comedy show. And 655 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:45,560 Speaker 4: to think that this art form is being introduced to 656 00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:47,960 Speaker 4: so many people for the very first time that has 657 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,880 Speaker 4: like historically, not to be a classicist about it, like 658 00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,680 Speaker 4: that is how people have like overcome really really hard 659 00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:58,400 Speaker 4: moments is through laughter together. And then the second I 660 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:02,400 Speaker 4: did study computer science, so I get traditional technology software 661 00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:05,080 Speaker 4: options that looked really sexy at the time to be honest, 662 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:09,640 Speaker 4: like really great paychecks in San Francisco, build the future right, 663 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:14,160 Speaker 4: like it's just really cool. But it was November and 664 00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:16,760 Speaker 4: my mom's memoir, she had just finished writing her memoir. 665 00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:20,480 Speaker 4: In order to have a book land successfully, there's a 666 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,799 Speaker 4: very long pre order process that leads up to that 667 00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:27,480 Speaker 4: book's publication, and that pre order, if it's handled correctly, 668 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:28,960 Speaker 4: is what determines. 669 00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:31,160 Speaker 3: The success of the book. Based on the pre orders, 670 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:33,160 Speaker 3: bookstores will stop the book. 671 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:35,400 Speaker 4: They will, you know, put it on all sorts of 672 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:38,839 Speaker 4: really amazing lists that helped us sell the book in perpetuity. 673 00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,840 Speaker 4: My mom was looking to hire somebody for this job, 674 00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:43,759 Speaker 4: and she said, I think you should take this job, 675 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:45,400 Speaker 4: and I think you should try working with me. 676 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:47,719 Speaker 3: And I was like, what, you want me to sell 677 00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:48,960 Speaker 3: a pre order? What's that? 678 00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:50,960 Speaker 4: I didn't even know what a pre order was, Like, 679 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,440 Speaker 4: what is the concept of a pre order of a book? 680 00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:56,439 Speaker 4: You're gonna sell something that doesn't even exist yet. 681 00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:59,120 Speaker 3: That's wild, right, And she was like, no, I think 682 00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:01,560 Speaker 3: you should take this job and learn how to sell. 683 00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:05,000 Speaker 4: That's a skill that will be part of your life 684 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,760 Speaker 4: for the rest of your life. And so my senior 685 00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:09,960 Speaker 4: year of Stanford I set a goal to sell ten 686 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,680 Speaker 4: thousand pre orders of her book. I flew all across 687 00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:14,879 Speaker 4: the country doing pop ups in every city. I think 688 00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,919 Speaker 4: we did four or five live streams every single week. 689 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:21,279 Speaker 4: We collaborated and designed all sorts of viral moments with 690 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:24,560 Speaker 4: famous comedians. We used every AI tool in the book. 691 00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,759 Speaker 4: There have been several write ups about that and how 692 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:30,879 Speaker 4: we designed that process and instantly when the book came 693 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:34,400 Speaker 4: out in April. It made every single bestseller list instantly, 694 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,239 Speaker 4: and now authors around the world reach out to me 695 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:38,160 Speaker 4: and they're like, so, how. 696 00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:39,120 Speaker 3: Did you do it for your mom? 697 00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:42,920 Speaker 4: And the reason I'm mentioning that is, especially with family businesses, 698 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:46,120 Speaker 4: it was incredibly important to see if we actually could 699 00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:50,239 Speaker 4: work together. Wasn't like I just decided to take the job, 700 00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:52,040 Speaker 4: like I actually had to really earn the job. And 701 00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,920 Speaker 4: there were moments during that pre order process that I 702 00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,280 Speaker 4: was not doing a good job and I wasn't selling 703 00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:58,879 Speaker 4: the books, and she was like, I'm going to give 704 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:00,799 Speaker 4: this job to someone else if you can't figure it out. 705 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:04,439 Speaker 4: So it wasn't you know, it was a build up process. 706 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:09,879 Speaker 7: Wow, amazing, amazing, as Erna, you've said that everywhere you go, 707 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:14,680 Speaker 7: daughters from immigrant families reach out to Zoya and tell her. 708 00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:18,160 Speaker 7: Because of what your mom said on stage, I was 709 00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:21,480 Speaker 7: able to have a conversation with my parents that I 710 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:25,600 Speaker 7: couldn't have before. So I want to ask you both, 711 00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:29,920 Speaker 7: what has been the most meaningful message you've received. 712 00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:34,440 Speaker 1: I mean, I know that when I do private events, 713 00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:37,200 Speaker 1: and I do very few now, but I do do 714 00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:41,960 Speaker 1: them weddings and things, often there are elderly Indian people 715 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:46,200 Speaker 1: lined up to meet me, and sometimes they start crying 716 00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,040 Speaker 1: and they you know, they'll tell me. They'll be like, 717 00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:52,839 Speaker 1: you know, we've lived in America sixty seventy years and 718 00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:56,480 Speaker 1: we've laughed at jokes we don't understand for sixty seventy years, 719 00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:00,640 Speaker 1: and you know, for the first time, we laughing at 720 00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:04,840 Speaker 1: something that feels like our story. And it really changed 721 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:08,920 Speaker 1: how I saw myself in the business. So, you know, 722 00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:12,040 Speaker 1: for my people, it's been a big thing. For our people, 723 00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,239 Speaker 1: like Indian people, we don't talk to our kids in 724 00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:17,439 Speaker 1: that way. Like here in America, there is a lot 725 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:19,719 Speaker 1: of like how will what do the kids think? And 726 00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:21,600 Speaker 1: how you know, how are you going to take care 727 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,960 Speaker 1: of them? In India, they just grow. They kind of 728 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:28,120 Speaker 1: just background plants. They parted and they grow. Nobody ever 729 00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:31,560 Speaker 1: thinks about it. We have a family podcast and the 730 00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,160 Speaker 1: first topic we choose chose was what do you know 731 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,719 Speaker 1: about sex? And we five of us talked about it 732 00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,680 Speaker 1: and I was like, it's we had never done, you know. 733 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:44,640 Speaker 1: I started the podcast on a whim. I just took 734 00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:46,719 Speaker 1: I just booked a studio in New York and I said, 735 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:50,240 Speaker 1: let's just go and see what happens. My husband was shocked, 736 00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:53,120 Speaker 1: like if you watched that first episode, He's like, I 737 00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,400 Speaker 1: thought we're going to talk about like the valley or 738 00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,640 Speaker 1: New Year or Christmas or something. What is this topic? 739 00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:00,640 Speaker 1: And I was saying, no, let's just find out what 740 00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:02,680 Speaker 1: the kids know. We don't even know what our own 741 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:07,440 Speaker 1: kids know. And the fact that people are opening up 742 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:10,000 Speaker 1: these discussions. I mean, I worked in a gay rom 743 00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:13,280 Speaker 1: com two years ago. I'm the mother in that movie. 744 00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:17,200 Speaker 1: It's an Indian, it's an American production. That movie has 745 00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:23,120 Speaker 1: helped countless Indian gay kids come out of the closet. 746 00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:26,520 Speaker 1: The fact that these things are all happening because of 747 00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:30,719 Speaker 1: the work that we are doing. We were just trying 748 00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:32,920 Speaker 1: to make a living. I'm being honest. We were not 749 00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,319 Speaker 1: trying to launch a movement or anything. We were in 750 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:39,759 Speaker 1: such financial dire straits when my husband lost his job. 751 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,839 Speaker 1: You know, we thought we had savings, but when you 752 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:46,520 Speaker 1: don't have income, the savings go so fast you don't 753 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,680 Speaker 1: realize it. It just it bleeds like Niagara falls. I 754 00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,200 Speaker 1: remember waking up and like our four oh one k 755 00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:56,600 Speaker 1: was down. Everything felt like our real estate market crashed 756 00:38:56,600 --> 00:39:00,319 Speaker 1: around us. We couldn't even move all we would trying 757 00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:03,920 Speaker 1: to do is make an honest living with integrity. But 758 00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:07,239 Speaker 1: we kind of entered the space and now we're in 759 00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:09,200 Speaker 1: a place where all we want to do is serve 760 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:13,600 Speaker 1: our audience because it has been so underserved. Like as 761 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:15,759 Speaker 1: soon as Zoya came on board, I said, Zoya, what's 762 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,720 Speaker 1: a digital thing you can create to serve our audience. 763 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:23,520 Speaker 1: And we realized that our audience loves word games. They 764 00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:27,360 Speaker 1: even in their free time, want to do spelling beats. 765 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,680 Speaker 1: So we launched a word game right away. 766 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,839 Speaker 4: And it got like ten thousand plays and like one night, 767 00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,040 Speaker 4: I remember we launched it and it was like everyone 768 00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:37,680 Speaker 4: was competing to get the egg grade on the Zornaguarde 769 00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:41,440 Speaker 4: word game. And it was people were writing in messages 770 00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:44,280 Speaker 4: like because some of the letters could spell a different 771 00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:47,040 Speaker 4: word and they had missed a few seconds that they 772 00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,239 Speaker 4: could have gotten if that word had been accepted. I 773 00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:53,120 Speaker 4: was getting angry messages from wives of husbands who hadn't 774 00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:55,920 Speaker 4: gotten their correct ranking, and I was like, Wow, our 775 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,040 Speaker 4: community is the best. I mean, this is a little 776 00:39:58,040 --> 00:39:59,800 Speaker 4: bit of a hetache, it's a little bit of a heartache, 777 00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:01,440 Speaker 4: but I I think all of you will appreciate it. 778 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:03,880 Speaker 4: I think that we're too soft on American kids. 779 00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:05,799 Speaker 3: Now, I think we are. 780 00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:08,239 Speaker 4: I think that's one of the things that's really not 781 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,080 Speaker 4: a good thing about I don't know why it's the case. 782 00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:13,160 Speaker 3: My mom has always. 783 00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:16,279 Speaker 4: Been extremely hard on me, and I'm so grateful that 784 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,760 Speaker 4: she set such a high standard. Like can you imagine 785 00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:20,360 Speaker 4: this woman in my senior year of college is like 786 00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:21,680 Speaker 4: sell ten thousand pre orders? 787 00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:24,239 Speaker 3: Like that is an absurd people, all these parents are like, 788 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:26,160 Speaker 3: how could you just expect your kid to do that 789 00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:26,480 Speaker 3: for you? 790 00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:27,960 Speaker 1: But it was so obvious. 791 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:29,799 Speaker 4: I was like, oh yeah, totally, Like we're gonna do 792 00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:31,760 Speaker 4: that now, okay, Like that makes sense. 793 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:35,959 Speaker 7: We're building something real here, one episode at a time. 794 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,359 Speaker 7: If you want to be part of its, subscribe, it's free, 795 00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:42,560 Speaker 7: it matters, and we're just getting started. 796 00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:44,400 Speaker 8: Well, So I love the fact that you and your 797 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,440 Speaker 8: mom have such a loving and very close relationship. 798 00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:50,160 Speaker 1: They also there's a lot of fighting, Like there's a 799 00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:52,759 Speaker 1: lot of oh my god, but we save that for 800 00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:54,880 Speaker 1: the tick dok. We we save it. You know, we 801 00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,560 Speaker 1: don't fight unless we can monetize it anymore. 802 00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:00,799 Speaker 5: No, So like no, but like behind the scenes, if 803 00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:04,000 Speaker 5: you're getting ready to have a heated discussion is it 804 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,120 Speaker 5: like a part of you is like, wait a minute, 805 00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:08,799 Speaker 5: let's save it. Let's save it for the let's save it. 806 00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:09,880 Speaker 5: This is really good. 807 00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:13,640 Speaker 1: No, No, every part of me. It's not a small part. 808 00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:16,240 Speaker 1: It's a big part. It's like, put turn that camera 809 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:17,120 Speaker 1: on right now. 810 00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:19,640 Speaker 3: I am the mature one in our fights. 811 00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:23,360 Speaker 4: Though, She'll she'll unshare her find my location with me, 812 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:27,640 Speaker 4: she'll unfollow me on Instagram, she'll message my brothers. 813 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:29,760 Speaker 3: By the way, I'm never. 814 00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:32,440 Speaker 4: Talking to your sister again. Please like let her know 815 00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:37,000 Speaker 4: that I feel that way wild, this type of fighting 816 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:37,800 Speaker 4: style as wild. 817 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,160 Speaker 1: And I tell them I'm like, choose a side and 818 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:42,040 Speaker 1: publicly announced wich side you're on. 819 00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:45,839 Speaker 4: Publicly tell people on Instagram whose side you're on? 820 00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:48,279 Speaker 8: Was It wasn't it until you went to Stanford, three 821 00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:51,439 Speaker 8: thousand miles away from your mom that you realize that 822 00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:54,799 Speaker 8: not every child has the same relationship with their mother 823 00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:58,280 Speaker 8: as you do with your mother. Of course, in that case, 824 00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:01,520 Speaker 8: obviously a lot of kids were made decisions without consulting 825 00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:05,719 Speaker 8: their mother first. So what's some of the best advice 826 00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:06,719 Speaker 8: that your mom's given you. 827 00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:09,200 Speaker 4: The best piece of advice my mom gave me was 828 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:12,840 Speaker 4: to start working full time as quickly as possible and 829 00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:16,279 Speaker 4: treat college as almost this social club opportunity. 830 00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:18,279 Speaker 3: You know, Like I this is also a bit of 831 00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:21,080 Speaker 3: a hot take. But I you know, in my senior year, 832 00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:22,040 Speaker 3: when I was running. 833 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,440 Speaker 4: This pre order process, I got really bad grades. My 834 00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:27,480 Speaker 4: teachers loved me because I loved school so much. Like 835 00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:29,759 Speaker 4: I would always be like, can I submit my essay 836 00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:32,200 Speaker 4: four weeks in advance? Or can I take the exam 837 00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:34,719 Speaker 4: on this day? And I was constantly missing class because 838 00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:36,839 Speaker 4: I was, you know, flying all over the world. But 839 00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:39,719 Speaker 4: she she was like, I think that you'll learn more 840 00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,319 Speaker 4: by working full time, and you should treat college as 841 00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:45,959 Speaker 4: an opportunity to like meet amazing people and to create 842 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:49,920 Speaker 4: great relationships with your professors and nurture your education. But 843 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,120 Speaker 4: you're not here to get like perfect grades. You're here 844 00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,520 Speaker 4: to like complete your degree and find out how to 845 00:42:56,960 --> 00:43:01,440 Speaker 4: like graduate and start being useful in the workforce. 846 00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:04,280 Speaker 3: You know, learning how to be useful now is really hard. 847 00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:07,040 Speaker 4: It used to be that you could be useful by 848 00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:09,080 Speaker 4: just like you know, getting a law degree, and then 849 00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:11,040 Speaker 4: you'd be useful in law or like becoming a doctor. 850 00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:13,279 Speaker 4: Then you'd be useful there. But like, now, how do 851 00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:15,840 Speaker 4: you even be useful and productive. This is like a 852 00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:17,799 Speaker 4: big top of mine question, and so she was like, 853 00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:20,000 Speaker 4: you need to figure this out as soon as possible. 854 00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:23,880 Speaker 4: So I'm glad she pushed me to work full time 855 00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:26,120 Speaker 4: sooner rather than later. 856 00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:31,000 Speaker 7: Well, Zoia, I want to talk about the family podcast 857 00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:35,200 Speaker 7: that you both referenced with your mom, your dad, your 858 00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:35,880 Speaker 7: two brothers. 859 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:37,040 Speaker 8: On the show. 860 00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:41,239 Speaker 7: Your mom has talked about the wait list for friendship. 861 00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:44,319 Speaker 7: You are on the list, but your brother Bridge is 862 00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:51,399 Speaker 7: always number one. Yes, now you are the CEO right 863 00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:55,160 Speaker 7: of her company and yes, ran her best just told 864 00:43:55,239 --> 00:43:58,160 Speaker 7: us you ran her best selling book campaign. You're building 865 00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:02,000 Speaker 7: an empire with her. What would it take to make 866 00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:03,399 Speaker 7: it to be number one? 867 00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:08,440 Speaker 4: I will never beat the eldest son. There's no chance. 868 00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:11,000 Speaker 4: He can just sit there and look pretty and that's 869 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:11,319 Speaker 4: all he. 870 00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:11,759 Speaker 1: Has to do. 871 00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:15,400 Speaker 4: I mean, he's actually the most wonderful human being. And 872 00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:18,000 Speaker 4: I think we all cherish Bridge for his fearlessness and 873 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:20,480 Speaker 4: all sorts of qualities that I wish I had in myself. 874 00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,919 Speaker 4: But he has been above me on this best friend 875 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:27,080 Speaker 4: waiting list for years and I don't know what it 876 00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:27,440 Speaker 4: will take. 877 00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:28,719 Speaker 3: I mean, Mom, what will it take? 878 00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:29,080 Speaker 1: Tell me? 879 00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:29,879 Speaker 3: I will do it. 880 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:34,160 Speaker 1: You cannot disclose the terms. This is ever. We review 881 00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:37,319 Speaker 1: it every year. It's under review. You getting there, You're 882 00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:43,640 Speaker 1: getting there? You you complain a lot that's not helping you. 883 00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:47,440 Speaker 8: Is there a topic starter that comes up on the 884 00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:50,240 Speaker 8: podcast as the one argument that will never be settled? 885 00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:51,160 Speaker 3: Oh? 886 00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:55,040 Speaker 1: So many. My husband had a Wall Street job. He 887 00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:59,040 Speaker 1: was he was dying when he found out that I 888 00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:02,840 Speaker 1: was advising Zoe not to take a corporate job. I 889 00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:06,240 Speaker 1: thought he was gonna pass out from the stress because 890 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,920 Speaker 1: he's like, what do you mean She's getting the best 891 00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,720 Speaker 1: jobs out of why would she not take those jobs? 892 00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:15,759 Speaker 1: And I take a very different position. I'm extremely entrepreneurial, 893 00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:19,440 Speaker 1: even through all my failures, I never once thought I 894 00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:21,960 Speaker 1: should go and work for somebody else. It's just never 895 00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:23,239 Speaker 1: made sense to me. 896 00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:26,600 Speaker 5: Sarna, you said that you wrote your memoir This American 897 00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:29,839 Speaker 5: Woman for the women who feel stuck, for the stay 898 00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:33,680 Speaker 5: at home moms who feel like they don't know where 899 00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:36,279 Speaker 5: to turn, for the daughters who feel like where is 900 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:38,160 Speaker 5: their road map in life? 901 00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:40,080 Speaker 6: What do you want other women to. 902 00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:43,440 Speaker 5: Know about starting over, particularly if they feel like they've 903 00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:44,440 Speaker 5: missed their window. 904 00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,480 Speaker 1: I really did write the book for those women and 905 00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,719 Speaker 1: men A lot of men now have approached me and 906 00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:55,040 Speaker 1: said they also feel stuck. You can start over any time. 907 00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:59,600 Speaker 1: There's never been a better time to start because social media, 908 00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:05,200 Speaker 1: Internet has made it possible for even moms like I. 909 00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:08,560 Speaker 1: You know, I'm of the generations as the rest of 910 00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:10,719 Speaker 1: us are, except for ZOA and this group where it's 911 00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:14,799 Speaker 1: like remote work was not a thing. It was just 912 00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:17,600 Speaker 1: not like my first law job. I remember, if I 913 00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:21,280 Speaker 1: wasn't forced on the desk, I panicked, like every morning 914 00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:22,959 Speaker 1: you had to put the suit on and the high 915 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,360 Speaker 1: heels and run to work and be the first in 916 00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:28,160 Speaker 1: the door and last out. That's all gone and for 917 00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:31,120 Speaker 1: the better. Today you can have a little baby and 918 00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:33,239 Speaker 1: you can start a business in the other room while 919 00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:36,640 Speaker 1: the baby is sleeping. It's extremely viable. This is not 920 00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:40,440 Speaker 1: just you know, ideas in the air anymore. This is 921 00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:44,759 Speaker 1: being done every day by people. I mean, if God 922 00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:48,160 Speaker 1: forbid someday my stand up comedy career was to be 923 00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:51,800 Speaker 1: affected in some way, I foresee myself running an entirely 924 00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:56,839 Speaker 1: digital business. It's very possible today. And I wrote this 925 00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:58,920 Speaker 1: book to give people hope. I mean, look at me, 926 00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:02,840 Speaker 1: there's nothing per about me. I have an accent. I 927 00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:07,360 Speaker 1: started at forty four forty five, I wear a bindi. 928 00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:10,880 Speaker 1: I wear my weird clothes everywhere I go. But I 929 00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:14,719 Speaker 1: found that little spot in the world that feels like 930 00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:18,400 Speaker 1: they're being seen through me, and then that became my business. 931 00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:20,920 Speaker 1: And I think that that is true for every single 932 00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:24,839 Speaker 1: one of us has something that we represent, that we 933 00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,040 Speaker 1: can do, we can be of service to, and we 934 00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:29,560 Speaker 1: can charge money for it. I mean, you know, the 935 00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:32,759 Speaker 1: cliche is it's never too late, but it really is not, 936 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:35,960 Speaker 1: because if you win the day you die, you still won. 937 00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:40,080 Speaker 1: I mean, there's no endgame here, there's no flag you're 938 00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:43,279 Speaker 1: gonna cross, there's no finish line. The finish line is death, 939 00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:46,560 Speaker 1: but that can come whenever, you know. But things are 940 00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:49,320 Speaker 1: figure out able. That's the point. And like with the 941 00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:52,239 Speaker 1: rare exception, yes you although this one. 942 00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:52,719 Speaker 3: You know. 943 00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:55,600 Speaker 1: Now, with the airline industry in America, I was gonna 944 00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:59,480 Speaker 1: say flying an airplane not figure outable, But lately I've 945 00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:02,080 Speaker 1: had so many delays. I started youtubing how to fly 946 00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:06,200 Speaker 1: an airplane. I'm like, somebody has gotta figure this out, 947 00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:09,239 Speaker 1: Like I cannot keep getting bumped around like this. But 948 00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:12,360 Speaker 1: nine out of ten things are figure out aable and 949 00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:15,759 Speaker 1: It's like you can sit there and be consumed by 950 00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:19,520 Speaker 1: the overwhelming nature of being stuck, or say to yourself, 951 00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:24,880 Speaker 1: I'm gonna take that one tiny step, the smallest tiny step, 952 00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:29,600 Speaker 1: every day, and then those tiny steps, before you know 953 00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:34,160 Speaker 1: it will come pound like they will. They will lead 954 00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:36,279 Speaker 1: to the next thing and the next thing, and like 955 00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:40,239 Speaker 1: a whole future that might open up for you. And 956 00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:43,160 Speaker 1: my book is written, the entire book is written from 957 00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:46,759 Speaker 1: that perspective. I didn't have any desire to share my 958 00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:50,320 Speaker 1: life story otherwise, like I don't really I'm not running 959 00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:52,399 Speaker 1: for office or anything, right, Like what do I care 960 00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:55,800 Speaker 1: if anybody knows my story or not? But I wrote 961 00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:58,600 Speaker 1: it from the perspective of this is how I got 962 00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:03,880 Speaker 1: unstuck in all these various situations, and hopefully this helps 963 00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:05,200 Speaker 1: the people who read it. 964 00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:08,200 Speaker 8: Or before we wrap it, just want to ask you 965 00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:11,680 Speaker 8: a final question, and it's very important. Yes, So, what 966 00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:15,239 Speaker 8: would happen, truly happen if your mother in law came 967 00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:15,600 Speaker 8: to visit. 968 00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,440 Speaker 1: It would be so bad. It would be First of all, 969 00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:22,839 Speaker 1: if I had advanced warning, which now she tends not 970 00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:28,320 Speaker 1: to give me much, I would plan my own business trip. Yeah, 971 00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:31,959 Speaker 1: you know, twenty five years my husband. She would visit, 972 00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:35,840 Speaker 1: and he would be away on business a lot suspiciously 973 00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:39,080 Speaker 1: while she was in America with me. Now, I would 974 00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:40,799 Speaker 1: reverse it and be like, you know what, you have 975 00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:43,960 Speaker 1: fun with your mother. Let me plan some shows. Let 976 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,600 Speaker 1: me go to Bismarck, North Dakota. I hadn't been there, 977 00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:54,320 Speaker 1: but I think if she came to visit, she's actually 978 00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:57,520 Speaker 1: a very very smart woman. If I put the jokes aside, 979 00:49:57,600 --> 00:50:01,160 Speaker 1: she's a very very smart. But she raised two boys 980 00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:04,600 Speaker 1: in poverty in India and grew them through education and 981 00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:08,440 Speaker 1: all of it to where they are today. I think 982 00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,279 Speaker 1: we have a great camaraderie, my mother in law and I. 983 00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:14,279 Speaker 1: Before I release my first comedy special, it has some 984 00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:17,799 Speaker 1: hard jokes about her. I did take her blessings. I 985 00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:21,000 Speaker 1: would never blindside anybody like that in my life. I 986 00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:23,120 Speaker 1: have too much love for everybody in my life to 987 00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:26,080 Speaker 1: do that. So I think in the end it would 988 00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:28,480 Speaker 1: be a good thing. I think the problems she would 989 00:50:28,480 --> 00:50:31,680 Speaker 1: have now would be with my kids, because she's very 990 00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:35,959 Speaker 1: openly biased towards my older son and these American kids, 991 00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,120 Speaker 1: they don't just take it like in India other kids 992 00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:41,320 Speaker 1: just take it. They're like, that's grandma hear the kids 993 00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:43,239 Speaker 1: fight back, you know, it's like why did you do that? 994 00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,040 Speaker 1: And what did you mean? And like I would leave 995 00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:46,600 Speaker 1: her to deal with it with them. 996 00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:50,960 Speaker 8: Caz Aara Zoya. Thank you for this joyful, honest, and 997 00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:55,239 Speaker 8: deeply inspiring conversation during your journey, Prouse, that is never 998 00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:58,440 Speaker 8: too late to take a leap of faith, especially with 999 00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:01,239 Speaker 8: your own voice, and of course start again. And in 1000 00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:04,640 Speaker 8: doing so, you're giving daughters of immigrant families all around 1001 00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:09,200 Speaker 8: the world permission to speak more openly and to dream 1002 00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:13,280 Speaker 8: more freely with their parents. Zoria, We've loved having you. 1003 00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:15,839 Speaker 8: Your belief in your mom, seeing her not just as 1004 00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:18,560 Speaker 8: a parent, but also as a person whose dreams are 1005 00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:22,200 Speaker 8: worth fighting for, has been deeply inspirational to us. Together, 1006 00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:25,480 Speaker 8: you've shown that legacy is built through courage, laughter, and 1007 00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:28,879 Speaker 8: choosing to grow side by side. Thank you for living 1008 00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:29,480 Speaker 8: your legacy. 1009 00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:32,759 Speaker 1: Thank you, and thank you so much for having us. 1010 00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:35,719 Speaker 1: This is such a wonderful podcast. We love it and 1011 00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:37,480 Speaker 1: we're so honored to be a part of it. 1012 00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:41,160 Speaker 6: Thank you so much, guys, Thank you, thank you for 1013 00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:44,920 Speaker 6: joining us. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Don't forget to 1014 00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:46,760 Speaker 6: subscribe so you never miss a moment.