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Speaker 1: One day, he comes home and beat you bad, put

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Speaker 1: you in the hospital one day, and he just does

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Speaker 1: it one time. He apologizes, he says he's so sorry,

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Speaker 1: He'll never do it again. He repents for it. He

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Speaker 1: tells all his friends, he's so sorry. But you're hurt,

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Speaker 1: you're in the hospital, you come home. Can you trust

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Speaker 1: him again? What's up? Everybody? Welcome to the podcast, episode

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Speaker 1: one hundred and sixty. Thank you for listening and watching him.

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Speaker 1: Wherever you're coming from. I think I just said watching

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Speaker 1: him listening and watching him. Appreciate you, guys. This is

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Speaker 1: one of my favorite things to do. Answer your questions

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Speaker 1: you email me Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Could

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Speaker 1: be about anything. I only ask two things when you

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Speaker 1: send this email. Don't make it too long to read

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Speaker 1: on the air, and don't send the same email twice.

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Speaker 1: It gets lost that way. But you could ask about

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Speaker 1: any subject. In fact, the more crazy, the better. We

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Speaker 1: read them all. We've heard them all, and we walk

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Speaker 1: through them together, me and you. So the first question here, randomly,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to pull it up. The subject line says

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Speaker 1: Q and A and the body says, hey, Granger, I

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Speaker 1: was supposed to get married in October. I found out

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Speaker 1: things after my bridal shower. He had never told me

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Speaker 1: that he was married. He'd been hiding this from me.

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Speaker 1: I found out through a friend. When confronting him, he

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Speaker 1: lied to my face and said he's never been married.

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Speaker 1: I found records of the marriage license and divorce that

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Speaker 1: was finalized this year. I forgave him, so I'm able

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Speaker 1: to move on and heal. I'm still having a hard

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Speaker 1: time healing because he still goes to my church. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what else to do. Do I leave church

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Speaker 1: and go somewhere else. I don't know how I'm supposed

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Speaker 1: to heal when I see him every Sunday. Is that

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Speaker 1: selfish God has given me the strength to forgive him.

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Speaker 1: I'm just having a hard time healing while I see him.

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Speaker 1: I like to stay anonymous. Please thank you? Yeah, Okay, Wow,

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Speaker 1: interesting story. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

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Speaker 1: I will say this, first of all, kudos to you,

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Speaker 1: congratulations for cutting this off and getting out This guy's

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Speaker 1: this guy. It's not that he messed up and was

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Speaker 1: married and divorced and hid it from you. Like that's

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Speaker 1: bad enough, but it gets worse when then he lies

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Speaker 1: to your face and then hides it. That's ridiculous, and

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Speaker 1: it's you did the right thing by getting out. You know,

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Speaker 1: sometimes sometimes in life, when we can't control where he

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Speaker 1: goes or what he does. You know, we can't stop

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Speaker 1: him from going to this church on Sunday, we can't

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Speaker 1: stop him from going to the grocery store and accidentally

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Speaker 1: seeing you. Sometimes when things are tough on us like this,

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Speaker 1: we have to be the ones that make a move.

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Speaker 1: And it's unfortunate because you might think, well, that's not fair,

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Speaker 1: that's not fair to me. You know, I've been going

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Speaker 1: to this church for twelve years or whatever. But life

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Speaker 1: isn't just not always fair. In this kind of scenario,

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Speaker 1: I would suggest maybe it's time to go to another church.

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Speaker 1: And once again you might be thinking, hey, that's not

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Speaker 1: my place to do that's his place to do it.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is you can't control him. I think

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Speaker 1: it might be time to find a new church. It

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Speaker 1: might be time for a fresh start, it might be

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Speaker 1: time for a new town, it might be time to

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Speaker 1: pull I mean, this is a you went through a

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Speaker 1: big deal, so don't let anyone tell you that it's

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Speaker 1: not a big deal that you were engaged to someone

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Speaker 1: who is lying to your face the whole time, and

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Speaker 1: now it's over, and thank God that you have forgiven

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Speaker 1: him and you're ready to move on. But you might

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Speaker 1: have to physically do it too. It might be time

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Speaker 1: to leave that church and maybe leave some other things too.

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Speaker 1: Next question says, Hey Grandeur, my name is Julian. I'm

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Speaker 1: sixteen years old from Michigan and I need help. I've

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Speaker 1: been wanting to learn how to become a motorcycle mechanic,

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Speaker 1: but where I'm from they don't make a lot of money.

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Speaker 1: But I also want to be a welder in the

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Speaker 1: US Army. Can you please help me out with this? PS?

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Speaker 1: Tell Earl, I said, Hi Jillian, thanks for the email.

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Speaker 1: Buddy sixteen listening to the podcast. I love it. Here's

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Speaker 1: the deal, and this is easy for me. You want

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Speaker 1: to be a motorcycle mechanic and you also want to

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Speaker 1: be a welder in the Army. You're worried that the

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Speaker 1: motorcycle mechanic in your hometown might not make a lot

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Speaker 1: of money. Hey, I got a great solution for you.

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Speaker 1: What if I told you you could have all of it? Yes,

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Speaker 1: what if I told you could have all of it?

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Speaker 1: And I think you can get all that through the army. Hey,

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Speaker 1: you could learn to be a great mechanic. You could

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Speaker 1: learn to be a great welder. You can get all

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Speaker 1: kinds of really good skills through the army. And guess

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Speaker 1: what they pay you to teach you. They pay you

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Speaker 1: to stay there and learn it. They pay you so

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Speaker 1: that it pads your resume. And then you come out

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Speaker 1: in four years and you've got all these new skills

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Speaker 1: and this new education and the new a new resume

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Speaker 1: that you did with the United States Army. You come

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Speaker 1: back out, you could still be a welder. You could

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Speaker 1: still be a mechanic. My best driver, Bull right now,

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Speaker 1: is a diesel mechanic. He learned that in the army. Hey,

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Speaker 1: if you don't know what you're gonna do in life

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Speaker 1: when you're sixteen, you're a little bit worried about money,

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Speaker 1: you're a little bit worried about direction, and you think

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Speaker 1: the Army might be right for you. I'm gonna say

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Speaker 1: it's definitely right for you. Go for it, brother, Next

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Speaker 1: question subject line anonymous, Hey Grange, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: get into details, but how do you move on from

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Speaker 1: someone when you still have unanswered questions? Thanks for everything

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Speaker 1: you do anonymous. Yeah, I love it, short and sweet.

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Speaker 1: I think it's a great question. How do you How

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Speaker 1: do you move on from someone when you still have

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Speaker 1: unanswered questions? First of all, with this First of all,

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Speaker 1: with this mentality, it's okay to have unanswered questions. Everything

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Speaker 1: in your life and everything in the universe doesn't need

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Speaker 1: an answer for you to be content and satisfied with

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Speaker 1: who you are today. That doesn't that doesn't require any

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Speaker 1: of your self worth to know everything like you don't

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Speaker 1: have to know everything and everything around you and all

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Speaker 1: the unanswered questions. You got to fill them all in

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Speaker 1: all these mysteries and fill them in before you can

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Speaker 1: get worth and identity in yourself. That doesn't happen that way.

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Speaker 1: You get your identity and your worth through your creator. Why,

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Speaker 1: because he made you so he gets to pour in

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Speaker 1: your identity. He gets to give you your worth and

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Speaker 1: you find that through the Bible. When you get that

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Speaker 1: and you find yourself worth through your creator because of

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Speaker 1: your Creator, because of what he has done for you,

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Speaker 1: you don't worry so much about the unanswered questions. Now,

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Speaker 1: let's dig deeper, let's get into the weeds with this. Say,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what you're talking about. Mate, it's probably

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Speaker 1: a relationship. You got out of a relationship and you

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Speaker 1: and you the person broke up with you and they

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Speaker 1: didn't tell you why. Let's pretend that's the scenario. It

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Speaker 1: probably is, and you're going, hey, I just want to

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Speaker 1: know why. But they've already blocked you, or they've already

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Speaker 1: moved on there, they've already moved away, and they've deleted

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Speaker 1: your number. It's okay. It's hard right now, but it

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Speaker 1: starts to get easier and easier, and you can get

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Speaker 1: with a friend and talk this out. Get with the buddy.

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Speaker 1: I would recommend that right away, get with some wise

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Speaker 1: counsel with some buddy and just go why do you think?

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Speaker 1: First of all, I don't know if that you're a

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Speaker 1: guy or a girl because you're anonymous, but why do

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Speaker 1: you think he did this? Why do you think he

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Speaker 1: did in this way? And then your old friends get

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Speaker 1: together and they go, you know, here's a scenario that

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Speaker 1: I've seen before. And then you go, yeah, that makes sense, right,

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Speaker 1: and then just you start to unpack it a little bit,

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Speaker 1: not because you need to, but because it's just nice

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Speaker 1: conversation and it gives you a little bit of closure.

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Speaker 1: Either way, time is going to be your friend. The

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Speaker 1: more time that goes by, the less you need these

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Speaker 1: questions answered at all, especially when you get into a

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Speaker 1: new relationship you don't want, you don't care about these

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Speaker 1: unanswered questions in the old relationship. As soon as the

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Speaker 1: new one comes around, it no longer matters. So time

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Speaker 1: is your friend. Let it go by, get your worth

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Speaker 1: and your identity through your creator. Don't worry so much

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Speaker 1: about the unanswered questions. What else do we have here?

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Speaker 1: It's a question from back in September. Subject Gline says,

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Speaker 1: being a freshman, Hey, I'd like to remain anonymous, but

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Speaker 1: I'm fourteen years old. I'm from upstate New York. I'm

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Speaker 1: going into my freshman year of high school. What is

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Speaker 1: your advice for me this year of my life? Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm mister anonymous. First of all, fourteen. That's crazy. We're

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Speaker 1: getting younger here. I'm reading this in at the end

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Speaker 1: of October. You sent this last month, so you're already

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Speaker 1: into this, which is kind of cool because you've already

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Speaker 1: You've already had to get into this no matter what

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Speaker 1: I say or not. But yeah, going into a freshman

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Speaker 1: year of high school, I'm assuming this is a school

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Speaker 1: where you're new to the building, like you're the youngest

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Speaker 1: of this group in this building, in this high school.

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Speaker 1: I'm assuming that's what's going on. If I was going

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Speaker 1: to give you advice to go into a new building

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Speaker 1: and a new facility, a new chapter of your life

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Speaker 1: in high school, Let's say absolutely, get involved in something

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Speaker 1: that you are passionate about or have an interest in,

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Speaker 1: and I don't really care what it is. It could

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Speaker 1: be chess, it could be drama. It could be math

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Speaker 1: club not me. It could be sports like baseball or football,

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Speaker 1: or basketball or volleyball, or cheerleading or hockey. Wherever you are.

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Speaker 1: You're upstate, New York. Get involved in something. It could

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Speaker 1: be photography club. It could be a shop. It could

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Speaker 1: be some kind of engine mechanics club. Get involved with

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Speaker 1: something that interests you. I'm not talking about something that

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Speaker 1: you go this is the passion I want in my

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Speaker 1: whole life. You might not have that. Maybe you just

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Speaker 1: have some couple of things that you're just kind of

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Speaker 1: interested in. Jump in that and you'll instantly get put

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Speaker 1: in a room with like minded people that think like

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Speaker 1: you and become friends with you, and it becomes your

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Speaker 1: tribe because we all need our tribe. We need to

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Speaker 1: be around our people, our tribe, the people that think

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Speaker 1: like we do, that like the same things we do. Now,

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Speaker 1: you get into these clubs right away, organizations, classes, whatever

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Speaker 1: it might be, and you're getting into your tribe. You're

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Speaker 1: getting your team. You're getting your people around you that

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Speaker 1: you trust, that you could pour into that. You can

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Speaker 1: go back to the last question and say, how do

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Speaker 1: I get past these unanswered questions? You go to your tribe,

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Speaker 1: in your group, in your freshman class, and you sit

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Speaker 1: down and you go, hey, I got a question. How

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Speaker 1: do I get past these unanswered things that from my

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Speaker 1: past relationship? And they help you walk you through it.

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Speaker 1: That's what your tribe does. So it's not about getting

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Speaker 1: better necessarily at chess or winning at the debate club,

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Speaker 1: or winning the championship in football. It's not about that.

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Speaker 1: It's finding your people, finding your team, finding your tribe,

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Speaker 1: surrounding yourself. Finding that group around you makes you stronger.

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Speaker 1: Iron sharpens iron. I'll sit another other one, another question

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Speaker 1: from back in September. The subject client says memory verse question,

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Speaker 1: and then the email says, hey, Granger, my name is

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Speaker 1: Tyler from Oregon. I'm in high school. My question is

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Speaker 1: my Bible teacher is assigning us big memory verses, like

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Speaker 1: ten to fifteen verses. We write it out every Friday

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Speaker 1: and get a new one for the next Friday. Do

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Speaker 1: you have any tips from memorizing big verses like this?

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Speaker 1: I loved when you were here in Eugene. It was

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Speaker 1: one of the best nights of my life. Thanks man,

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Speaker 1: that's awesome. I'm so glad that a school is assigning

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Speaker 1: you memory verses. That's really cool. I actually didn't have

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Speaker 1: that in my school. My kids have that now, which

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Speaker 1: is great. What I did have was I had poems.

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Speaker 1: We had to learn and memorize and recite poems poetry

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Speaker 1: in front of the class, and we had to do

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Speaker 1: that once a week and we get a new poem

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Speaker 1: assigned the next time. So I love that. And it's

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Speaker 1: funny how that has really come back and then such

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Speaker 1: a big part of my life. If you think about me,

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Speaker 1: what I do now get up on stage and literally

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Speaker 1: recite poetry in the form of songs every night, and

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Speaker 1: I need to recall them. So when you're talking about

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Speaker 1: Bible verses and memorizing, I want to try this, so

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Speaker 1: you're saying big memory verses like ten to fifteen verses.

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Speaker 1: This is what I would do something like this kind

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Speaker 1: of system. I would read it. Read verse one, so

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Speaker 1: you're gonna do ten right, Read verse one ten times,

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Speaker 1: read it ten times, then close your eyes and don't

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Speaker 1: read it and say it ten times. Then take a break,

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Speaker 1: a mental break, go back to it whenever you're fresh again,

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Speaker 1: and read verse one and verse two ten times, and

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Speaker 1: then say out loud verse one and verse two ten

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Speaker 1: times without reading it. Take a mental break, go back

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Speaker 1: when you're fresh again, read verse one through three ten times.

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Speaker 1: Recite with your eyes closed, verse one through three ten times.

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Speaker 1: If you mess up, which you will start over and

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Speaker 1: make it zero again and start back at one on

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Speaker 1: the reciting. If you've got to read it ten times again,

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Speaker 1: do that. See what that does for your brain. Another

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Speaker 1: way to do it is just do the latest verse,

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Speaker 1: verse number three, and then go back and say the

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Speaker 1: whole thing at the very end. But the way my

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Speaker 1: brain would work, I would say, I want to read

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Speaker 1: it ten times, and then I want to close my

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Speaker 1: eyes and recite it ten times. Take a break, and

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Speaker 1: do that all the way up to ten verses. So

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Speaker 1: by the end of this exercise and not on This

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Speaker 1: is not on the same day, This is not on

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Speaker 1: the same time or sit down. This is all spread

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Speaker 1: out right, So this is going to take you a

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Speaker 1: week to do the whole thing. So you have seven days,

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Speaker 1: according to your class, seven days to recite it. So

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Speaker 1: on day one you're doing I would do verse one

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Speaker 1: in the morning, maybe verse two in the afternoon, and

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Speaker 1: so you're by day seven you're doing all ten to

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Speaker 1: fifteen verses. Does that make sense? Email me back and

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Speaker 1: let's continue this conversation. If that doesn't make sense, all right,

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Speaker 1: moving on to another one here. I'm totally guys, I'm

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Speaker 1: totally blind on this. I don't know what these say,

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Speaker 1: I don't have notes. I'm just totally stabbing in the dark.

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Speaker 1: So let me hit this. One subjectline says bakery advice.

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Speaker 1: Hey Grangeer. My name is Laura. I'm from northeast Texas,

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Speaker 1: right outside of Texarkana. I will be twenty on the

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Speaker 1: sixteenth of October, which is already passed, so happy birthday.

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Speaker 1: And I've been a fan for several years and I

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Speaker 1: loved the podcast. I've sold different baked goods privately out

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Speaker 1: of my house for several years now, but with higher

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Speaker 1: demands and higher tuition for college, I've also been wanting

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Speaker 1: to do something more on a large scale. I'm currently

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Speaker 1: full time college student and a work full time at

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Speaker 1: tractor Supply. I have a customer base already, but I'm

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Speaker 1: having trouble coming up with a name for my business

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Speaker 1: and overall just the social media side of things. I

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Speaker 1: want to get my name out there more with social

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Speaker 1: media and be able to have extra customers that word

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Speaker 1: of mouth doesn't always provide. What's your best advice for

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Speaker 1: starting your business online like Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, or even

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Speaker 1: a website. Thanks for all you do, Laura. All right, Laura,

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Speaker 1: thanks for the email and happy birthday. Let me recap

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Speaker 1: in my mind just so I see where you're coming from.

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Speaker 1: You say you have sold baked goods privately out of

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Speaker 1: your house for several years, and you're currently working full

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Speaker 1: time as a student and full time attractor supply, so

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Speaker 1: you don't have a lot of time for this. Right,

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Speaker 1: you have a customer base already, So here's a deal

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Speaker 1: you are. I don't want you to I don't want

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Speaker 1: you to grow too fast in this. I don't want

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Speaker 1: you to get to expand too much too quickly, because

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Speaker 1: it's going to get out of hand. You have to,

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Speaker 1: first of all, finish college, and you're also working to

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Speaker 1: pay the bills at tractor Supply, which is a great job,

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Speaker 1: by the way. So I don't want you to grow

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Speaker 1: too fast, but I just want you to be thinking

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Speaker 1: about how to make this business model. I know a

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Speaker 1: few people in my life that actually do this and

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Speaker 1: do very well at it. So the key right now

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Speaker 1: for you is going to be the quality of your

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Speaker 1: product and the perfection of your service, and less about

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Speaker 1: how many social media followers you have, Because what you

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Speaker 1: want to do in order to grow this long term

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Speaker 1: is you want to get these core customers where you're

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Speaker 1: making cookies and you're delivering the cookies. You're hand delivering them,

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Speaker 1: and they're hot, and you want to be able to

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Speaker 1: take pictures, really nice photos of these cookies when they're

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Speaker 1: right when they come out of the oven and right

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Speaker 1: when they're sitting on the decorative napkin or whatever, and

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Speaker 1: you take it over and you make the delivery and

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Speaker 1: you take another picture of the happy customer getting it

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Speaker 1: all in a creative way. So you want to start

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Speaker 1: archiving a lot of this. So it's not like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm starting a new business and here's one picture of

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Speaker 1: my cookies. It's like, no, here's years of me doing this.

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Speaker 1: Here it was I'm doing it out of my own kitchen.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing it. This is my own apartment, oven right

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Speaker 1: or whatever. And so you want to build up this

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Speaker 1: reputation of someone that's been doing this for a long time.

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Speaker 1: And you have customers that you go every single time

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Speaker 1: they have a birthday or an event coming up. You

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Speaker 1: go to this customer, you deliver personally, and then tell

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Speaker 1: them whenever you deliver, Hey, would you mind commented on

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Speaker 1: my Facebook page? I posted a picture of these cookies?

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Speaker 1: Would you comment back? That helps the algorithm. The more

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Speaker 1: comments I get, the more likes I get, the more

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Speaker 1: it's going to push it out there. But don't try

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Speaker 1: to scale it up too fast. Focus on the quality

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Speaker 1: of what you're doing and the perfection of the service

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Speaker 1: as you deliver these incredible cookies, Will you please deliver

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Speaker 1: me some in the meantime to the podcast, Let's take

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Speaker 1: a break beer right back. Bek you guys for listening

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Speaker 1: to the podcast. Remember you can catch me and my

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Speaker 1: family on the Smiths on YouTube every single Tuesday and

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Speaker 1: Thursday night, six pm Central. Also, if you want me

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Speaker 1: to travel to your town and bring a message to

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Speaker 1: your church on a Sunday morning, you could do that.

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Speaker 1: We've set it up at grangersmith dot com. Under the

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Speaker 1: contact tab right at the top, it says book Granger

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Speaker 1: for a speaking event. It's important that you know there

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00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,640
Speaker 1: is no fee for me to come to your church

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Speaker 1: to preach. I'll tell you what there is a fee for,

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Speaker 1: and that's if you want me to send you a

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Speaker 1: video message. I could do that right now on cameo

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00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:06,119
Speaker 1: dot com slash Grangersmith, or download the cameo app and

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00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,320
Speaker 1: search for me granger Smith. I can make you a

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00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:11,400
Speaker 1: personalized video message and say whatever you need me to say.

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Speaker 1: Happy birthday, happy anniversary, congratulations, Merry Christmas, whatever it might be.

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00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:20,040
Speaker 1: Go to cameo dot com slash granger Smith and book me.

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Speaker 1: Now back to the podcast. All right, Segment two, Podcast

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Speaker 1: one sixty. Thanks for being here. Let's dive into it.

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Speaker 1: I'm going blind. I have no idea what these questions

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Speaker 1: are gonna say, but you could email me to at

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Speaker 1: Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Love to hear from

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Speaker 1: you love to walk through in real time and long

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Speaker 1: form on your question, let's dive into this next one

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Speaker 1: subject line says, how do I walk away? I'm Beth, Hi, Beth,

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Speaker 1: I'm thirty three years old. I need your tough love

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Speaker 1: and advice. There's this guy by my side for four years.

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Speaker 1: I think he has issues within himself. He pushes me out,

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Speaker 1: doesn't communicate with me as he should. I'm beginning to

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Speaker 1: think he's bipolar. When he's at his best, he's my

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Speaker 1: favorite person. I love and care for him very much. However,

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Speaker 1: I think that I'll be good enough for I don't

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Speaker 1: think I'll ever be good enough for him. Or maybe

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Speaker 1: it's really the opposite way around, and he isn't good

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Speaker 1: enough for me. And then when he's at his best,

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Speaker 1: I'm the most happiest. He seems happy when we're all together,

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Speaker 1: but then when he's at his worst, it's really bad.

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Speaker 1: He's made me question my own self worth. I think

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Speaker 1: he messed me up pretty bad. I'm thirty three, own

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Speaker 1: my own house, car, two wonderful kids. I cook, I clean,

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Speaker 1: I'm an exceptional good mother. I never did anything to

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Speaker 1: make him treat me like dirt on the bottom of

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Speaker 1: his shoes, but he does. I know walking away is

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Speaker 1: the best. At this point, he messages other women. I

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Speaker 1: know he won't add me on his social media. Seems

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Speaker 1: like men don't want good women these days. If I

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Speaker 1: tell him I carry, he pushes me away. I'm torn

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Speaker 1: between my head in my heart. My biggest fear is

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Speaker 1: him coming back once I've already walked away. Letting him

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Speaker 1: go is hard granger. He's forty two, so he's older

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Speaker 1: than me, but it seems as though he's acting twenty

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Speaker 1: two years old. Is it good to be acting like this?

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Speaker 1: It seems like all the guys do this in my area,

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Speaker 1: heartless and selfish. Perhaps I just wasted four years of

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Speaker 1: my life. I'm the one guy whom I thought the

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Speaker 1: world of and he thinks nothing of me at all.

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Speaker 1: It seems well, Beth, thanks for the email. Sounds like

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Speaker 1: you're struggling. You got a dude that's bipolar. When he's great,

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Speaker 1: he's great. When he's bad, he's really bad. Unfortunately, the

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Speaker 1: bad outweighs the good in a relationship like this. It

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Speaker 1: just does, y'all, The bad outweighs the good. Say let

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Speaker 1: me put that in perspective. Say this guy's like an angel.

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Speaker 1: He's like just a super great guy. Everyone loves him.

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Speaker 1: One day he comes home and beats you bad, puts

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Speaker 1: you in the hospital one day, and he just does

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Speaker 1: it one time. He apologizes, he says he's so sorry,

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Speaker 1: he'll never do it again. He repents for it. He

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Speaker 1: tells all his friends, he's so sorry. But you're hurt,

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Speaker 1: you're in the hospital, you come home. Can you trust

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Speaker 1: him again? Can you? Hey, would you do it with

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Speaker 1: a dog? Would you do this with a dog? If

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Speaker 1: you had a dog and you adopted this dog and

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Speaker 1: he's just a sweet puppy, and one day he bites

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Speaker 1: your child so hard that your child needs to get stitches.

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Speaker 1: But other than that, he's just a sweetheart, just a

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Speaker 1: great dog. He's just a loving dog. He's a great

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Speaker 1: family dog. Except one time he bit my kid so

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Speaker 1: bad it ripped flesh off and w had to get stitches.

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Speaker 1: Can you trust the dog anymore? See the bad situation

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Speaker 1: like this in a relationship outweighs all of the good.

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Speaker 1: It's all done. I'm not saying you can't forgive him

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Speaker 1: for a mistake, But when he goes back to the

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Speaker 1: mistake like a dog to the vomit. When he goes

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Speaker 1: back like a pig to the waller, right, that's when

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Speaker 1: you gotta go, Hey, I don't trust you anymore. You've

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Speaker 1: lost my trust. These bad times of you going back

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Speaker 1: to the waller or back to the vomit, These times

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Speaker 1: it just outweighs the good guy that you are the

426
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:35,400
Speaker 1: other times. I'm moving on. Now, did you waste four

427
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 1: years of your life? No, stop saying that you'll never

428
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 1: waste four years of your life. You don't waste time

429
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:45,439
Speaker 1: in a relationship. You only learn how to respond to

430
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 1: the next relationship. That's what happens in that time. Sometimes

431
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 1: it takes a year, sometimes it takes two years, sometimes

432
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:57,520
Speaker 1: it takes four. But you don't waste time. Ever. You're

433
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,639
Speaker 1: learning from that so you could pour in what you

434
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 1: learned to the good relationship that comes later. That's the deal.

435
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,680
Speaker 1: It's time to go. It's time to move on. He can't.

436
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 1: He can't treat you like the dirt on the bottom

437
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:18,159
Speaker 1: of his shoes, like you said, and get away with it.

438
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 1: Can't guess what There are more guys out there, and

439
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 1: if there's not, it would better to be Its better

440
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 1: to be single and content. It's better to be single

441
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 1: and content. Well, move on here what we got the

442
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:41,919
Speaker 1: roulette game of find a email and read it on

443
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 1: the podcast subject line heartbroken. The email says, dear Granger,

444
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,320
Speaker 1: after being together with my husband for three years and

445
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 1: married for one and a half, he told me he

446
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 1: was no longer a Christian. This rocked me to the

447
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 1: core because I'm a Christian woman and we met serving

448
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 1: in ministry together. Although I was bitter and hurt, I

449
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 1: decided to lean on God and stay in my marriage

450
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:10,959
Speaker 1: despite being deceived. Over this time, he has changed his personality,

451
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:14,480
Speaker 1: admitting things like he acted a certain way to get married, etc.

452
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:19,399
Speaker 1: We're now almost five years into marriage, months into Christian

453
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,919
Speaker 1: counseling where our counselor brought elements of emotional abuse in

454
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 1: our marriage to light, and I feel more lost and

455
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:29,160
Speaker 1: broken than ever. There is no peace, and I am

456
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 1: torn between leaving my emotionally destructive marriage to be able

457
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 1: to serve the Lord freely or stay in a loveless

458
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 1: marriage and making my husband my full time ministry. How

459
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 1: can I know God's will in this circumstance? Anonymous, I'm

460
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:54,280
Speaker 1: so sorry that this is where you are in life.

461
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry that this is your calling right now.

462
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 1: I truly am and and part part of it, I

463
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 1: want to speak to the other women that are engaged

464
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 1: or dating and they're in a relationship where the husband says, yeah,

465
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 1: I'm sure, baby, let's do it, let's get married, and

466
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:24,360
Speaker 1: here's why, and that you might be deceived in doing so. Okay,

467
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 1: second of all, with some tough love, I just want

468
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:33,919
Speaker 1: to say, don't. I don't totally believe you that you

469
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:39,360
Speaker 1: were fully deceived. It would be very difficult, and maybe

470
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 1: you were, but I don't totally think that he deceived

471
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 1: you one hundred percent, Like that's really hard for him,

472
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 1: the one hundred percent deceive you that he's walking with

473
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:57,160
Speaker 1: Christ and the whole time it was a lie. I don't.

474
00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 1: I don't think anyone could pull that off completely unless

475
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:04,640
Speaker 1: you had clues, unless you had some stuff in your life.

476
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 1: You're like, I'm questioning this, but I don't want to

477
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:12,920
Speaker 1: admit it to myself because I'm so interested in getting married. Okay,

478
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:15,640
Speaker 1: that's not your question. That's besides the point. Those are

479
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 1: just some observations tough love and I love you. I

480
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: love you. Here's the interesting thing about your question. You

481
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:25,880
Speaker 1: say at the very end How can I know God's

482
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 1: will in this circumstance? How can I know God's will? How?

483
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:35,200
Speaker 1: How can how could any of us know God's will?

484
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 1: That's a question, right, what a profound question. The answer

485
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 1: is so simple. We read our Bibles. We read our Bibles,

486
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 1: the living, breathing word of God given to us as

487
00:28:55,680 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 1: a gift for our own good, so we could have guidelines,

488
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 1: and we could have rules, and we could understand the

489
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 1: love of God and the patience of God, and the

490
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:13,000
Speaker 1: wrath of God and the justice of God. We can

491
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 1: understand him fully and understand other people that interacted with

492
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 1: Him through the course of time, including the beginning of creation,

493
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 1: including the future that hasn't happened yet, and everything in between.

494
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 1: And the most pivotal part is our Savior in the middle,

495
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 1: who was crucified and resurrected, became the substitute for our sin,

496
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 1: our brokenness, our wretchedness. When we could not help ourselves.

497
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 1: God entered the world, invaded mankind in the flesh, was crucified,

498
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 1: killed for us to absorb the wrath of God that

499
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 1: we deserved. The innocent became like the guilty, so that

500
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 1: the guilty could be like innocent. Right that's the greatest

501
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 1: story ever told. And you're wondering, how could we know

502
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 1: God's will? It's written in the Bible for us today,

503
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 1: and you will find very specific passages to your situation

504
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 1: what to do when your spouse is a non believer,

505
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,920
Speaker 1: And I'll give you a hint. The answer is not

506
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 1: divorce him. But it's in there. And instead of me

507
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 1: going through it with you, I would rather you see

508
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 1: it with your own eyes, because if I assure you

509
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 1: of something, hey, if I assure anybody on this podcast

510
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 1: of anything, then when you start doubting that assurance or

511
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 1: when it starts crumbling, you come back to me to

512
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 1: get another answer. I I I'm just a human. I

513
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 1: mess up all the time. I say wrong things. But

514
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 1: what I want to do is I want to show

515
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 1: you the Bible so you can go there and get

516
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 1: get the assurance that you need of what God's will

517
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:15,959
Speaker 1: is for you in your life, and what you need

518
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 1: for this marriage and for this struggle and the suffering

519
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 1: in your life right now, this huge trial you're in.

520
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 1: I want you to go to the Bible and find

521
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:28,520
Speaker 1: the assurance there which you will then when it when

522
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 1: it when things seem rough again and you feel like

523
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 1: things are crumbling, you don't go back to me. You

524
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 1: go back again to the Bible and you dive in again,

525
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 1: and you go, God, where is it? Well? I want

526
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 1: to I want to know your will for me in

527
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 1: my life. I want to feel what you need for me.

528
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 1: So I'm going back to feed again at the in

529
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 1: the living water. That's what you that's what you do.

530
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 1: You're gonna find your answer. Here's here's something else. We

531
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:02,160
Speaker 1: don't always love the answer that's in the Bible, but

532
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: we know for sure it's what is good for us.

533
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 1: Let me grab another question here before I get to

534
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 1: worked up. Subject line says unable to find love. Hey Grangel,

535
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 1: my name is Charlie. I'm from a small town in

536
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 1: New Hampshire. I'm nineteen, recently left my hometown for college.

537
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 1: I've never been in a relationship before and desperately want

538
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 1: to experience love. My struggle is that girls my age

539
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,680
Speaker 1: aren't looking for a relationship. They just want to party.

540
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 1: I feel lost any advice on what I should do?

541
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:40,520
Speaker 1: Thank you, Hey Charlie, thanks for the email. Brother shout

542
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 1: out to small town in New Hampshire. That sounds beautiful.

543
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:49,120
Speaker 1: I'd love to come visit sometime. You're nineteen, recently left

544
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 1: your hometown for college, and you've never been in a relationship.

545
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 1: You and you desperately want to experience love. You know,

546
00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:00,200
Speaker 1: if you've heard this podcast, you know I'm not I'm

547
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 1: not a fan of desperately wanting to experience love. I'm

548
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 1: not from another person. I'm not into that. I don't

549
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: love that expression. Okay, and but I understand it. I

550
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:20,160
Speaker 1: understand what you're saying. I have sympathy for that, but

551
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 1: I don't like it. I don't like that you're desperate

552
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:26,080
Speaker 1: to experience love. Why Because it's going to put you

553
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 1: in a situation where you're going to compromise what your

554
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:34,479
Speaker 1: standards are for yourself. You're going to compromise that because

555
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:38,280
Speaker 1: you're desperate to experience love, and the first time it

556
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 1: appears and rears its head, you're going to grab for it,

557
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 1: and you're gonna put aside any kind of other things

558
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:47,480
Speaker 1: that you wanted to save for yourself just to take

559
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 1: the love. Because I'm desperate for it. You said in here,

560
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 1: my struggles that grows my age aren't looking for a

561
00:33:55,080 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 1: relationship that just want to party. So right, I hear

562
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 1: you Three lines before that you say, I'm desperately looking

563
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 1: for love. So what happens when that desperation gets a

564
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 1: little worse and a little worse? And then you meet

565
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 1: a girl and you're really attracted to her, she's attracted

566
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 1: to you, she seems nice enough, she loves to party.

567
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:24,840
Speaker 1: You don't like to party. But you think, you know

568
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:29,879
Speaker 1: what I'm I'm going to just go ahead and turn

569
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 1: a blind eye to this party thing. I desperately want love,

570
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 1: and so I haven't had it. It's been a long

571
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,319
Speaker 1: time since a girl's even talked to me. But here's

572
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 1: this girl, and she's really pretty and she actually likes me,

573
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:43,759
Speaker 1: and there only bad thing is she parties. And I

574
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 1: guess that's not that bad a thing, so I guess

575
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 1: I'll take it, okay, fine, And then you get in

576
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,839
Speaker 1: and then it doesn't go good. And you could hear

577
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:57,920
Speaker 1: from other emails how things don't go good. Charlie, it's

578
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:02,560
Speaker 1: so good just to be single and content, finding your

579
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 1: self worth in your creator, your identity with him. You

580
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 1: don't have to worry about a relationship. I know it

581
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 1: doesn't seem like this, but nineteen is still really really young.

582
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 1: You're still a teenager. There's so much time for a relationship.

583
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 1: There's gonna be plenty of time for that. And I

584
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 1: know you look on social media, and it seems like

585
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 1: everyone's got somebody. Well that's just not the case. It's

586
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 1: not right, it's not healthy. You don't need it. You're

587
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:33,839
Speaker 1: gonna be totally fine. Okay, hang in there. You got

588
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 1: the right idea. Take away, this strip away, this idea

589
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:40,920
Speaker 1: of being desperate for love. You're not missing out on

590
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:46,799
Speaker 1: anything because you're looking for love in the wrong places. Right, Eventually,

591
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 1: you're gonna meet somebody and you're just gonna know, and

592
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 1: there'll be no hesitation, no restrictions, and you'll go, I'm in,

593
00:35:55,360 --> 00:36:00,360
Speaker 1: I'm ring shopping, my wife is here. Let's say it

594
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:03,439
Speaker 1: one more. At least at least one more. They're having fun,

595
00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:10,160
Speaker 1: all right, how about this? I have no idea what

596
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 1: this is. Septic GlnE, says Charlie Green says, Hey Granger,

597
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 1: my name is Hey Granger. My girlfriend Jessica and I

598
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:22,360
Speaker 1: hang on, you said, Jessica John. That's her name. Okay,

599
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 1: Hey Granger, my name my girlfriend Jessica John and I

600
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 1: have been dating for about a week now, and she

601
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:30,440
Speaker 1: told me about her online bank account bank account being frozen.

602
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:32,760
Speaker 1: She would like me to send her two hundred dollars,

603
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:38,839
Speaker 1: but she's in a different state. This is bad, bro,

604
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,840
Speaker 1: Charlie Green, this is bad. Let me move on, let

605
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:43,920
Speaker 1: me go on. Say it says. We met at an

606
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 1: open house in Tracy, Iowa. I knew it was love

607
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 1: at first sight. What should I do? Should I send

608
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 1: her the money or not? Charlie Green, Brother, you better

609
00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 1: run from Jessica John. Go back to Tracy, Iowa, Charlie Green,

610
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 1: and get rid of Jessica John. No, don't send her

611
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 1: tw hundred dollars. Absolutely not. You've known her for a week. No, nope, no, no.

612
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 1: I don't have anything else to say, Charlie Green. Besides, no,

613
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:28,360
Speaker 1: don't do that man. Mother in law advice. Should we

614
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 1: get into this again? Mother in law advice? Let's do it?

615
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,320
Speaker 1: Hey Grange, I hope this is the right email address.

616
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:37,800
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you some advice about my future

617
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,320
Speaker 1: mother in law. I've been with my fiance for three years.

618
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,959
Speaker 1: He's very good to me. I know that he would

619
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,239
Speaker 1: do anything in the world for me. He works very

620
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 1: hard for our future family, and I know that I

621
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:49,959
Speaker 1: can go to him with just about anything. We're getting

622
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:53,640
Speaker 1: married in October. However, his mother's been given me issues

623
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:57,919
Speaker 1: since we've been dating. She's always made snide remarks towards

624
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:01,080
Speaker 1: me about my weight and how my family does things,

625
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 1: and just the typical rude comments. I let it roll

626
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:06,960
Speaker 1: off my back. I never say anything, and that's the truth.

627
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:09,480
Speaker 1: Before we got engaged, my fiance had brought me a

628
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 1: ring and his mom told me about the ring because

629
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 1: he told her he did not want her involved in

630
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:21,280
Speaker 1: the proposal. Okay, she was very upset over this because

631
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:24,320
Speaker 1: she wanted to watch it happen the proposal. After we

632
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:26,560
Speaker 1: got engaged, I made the decision not to take her

633
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:28,919
Speaker 1: wedding dress shopping because of the comments she usually makes

634
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 1: towards me. Ever since then, it's been game on with

635
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 1: his mother. We have bought a house and she will

636
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:37,840
Speaker 1: show up and sit on the porch and she just

637
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:41,799
Speaker 1: shows up to my work to talk about and talk,

638
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 1: just to talk and bring me things such as newspapers

639
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 1: that I never read. It's very odd. This email is

640
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:52,440
Speaker 1: for very long, and it comes from Sarah, and it

641
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:55,800
Speaker 1: continues and I will stop there. I'm going to skip

642
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:57,359
Speaker 1: down to the end. It says I don't want to

643
00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:00,160
Speaker 1: upset him because I don't want to lose him at

644
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 1: the same time with us getting married, I feel like

645
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:04,359
Speaker 1: this really needs to be addressed. What would you do

646
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 1: in my position? I get so many in law emails? Y'all, Sarah,

647
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:15,319
Speaker 1: you're the one that sent this crazy thing? Is I'm

648
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,800
Speaker 1: reading this email now? It's October. You might already be married.

649
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 1: So do you love him already love the mother in law?

650
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:26,399
Speaker 1: Which one did you fall in love with first? Him

651
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:32,120
Speaker 1: or his mother? Oh? Him, you fell in love with him? Okay, good.

652
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:35,080
Speaker 1: I just want to get that straight. Because you don't

653
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:36,759
Speaker 1: have to fall in love with the mother in law.

654
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 1: You could respect her. You could be there to answer

655
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 1: her questions. I don't think you if she shows up

656
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:48,239
Speaker 1: at work with some magazines, okay, thank you. What if

657
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 1: you're just killed her with kindness? What if you're just

658
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:53,759
Speaker 1: kind all the time. Now it's going to be hard

659
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 1: because she's going to say things about your weight. You

660
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 1: don't like it. But the best thing to do is

661
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,040
Speaker 1: don't let it show that it affects you at all.

662
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,399
Speaker 1: If you let it show that it affects you, you're

663
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,359
Speaker 1: going to get it more and more and more. That's

664
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:10,359
Speaker 1: how humans operate. If you let her think then it

665
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:13,520
Speaker 1: means nothing when you say when she says something about

666
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 1: your weight, then she'll probably stop saying it. Now. The

667
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:21,880
Speaker 1: other thing to do is to talk to your husband.

668
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've done that or you if

669
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 1: you will do it. You say that he has mentioned

670
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 1: it to her lightly, but it's not enough to get

671
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:34,560
Speaker 1: the point across. So maybe you tell her, tell him, hey,

672
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 1: this really really bothers me. And I don't want you

673
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,200
Speaker 1: to say anything because I don't think that's going to

674
00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 1: fix anything. But I just want you to know that

675
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:48,319
Speaker 1: maybe sometimes we need to do things by herself, like

676
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 1: maybe we need to go and take a vacation, maybe

677
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:54,560
Speaker 1: we need to go have dinner alone away from mama,

678
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:59,240
Speaker 1: and he should step up and respect his new wife. Guys,

679
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:03,320
Speaker 1: and you get married, you leave mama. She no longer

680
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 1: has the greatest authority. Now you're giving it to your wife.

681
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 1: So now what she wants goes. What she needs is

682
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 1: the priority over mama. You know, you could still love

683
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:16,879
Speaker 1: your mama and she's a priority and you take care

684
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:21,320
Speaker 1: of her, but it's not as high as your wife.

685
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:25,320
Speaker 1: That's so important. So this message is not just for Sarah,

686
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,239
Speaker 1: but it's for guys out there, do you have a

687
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:32,880
Speaker 1: mother that's controlling your wife at all? Stand up? Button up?

688
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 1: What's up? You can't control your mom? Hey? Mom, stop,

689
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 1: you're really bothering Sarah. Would you stop showing up at work? Mother? Listen?

690
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:44,840
Speaker 1: I love you, I love that you care, but you

691
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 1: got to stop right now. I'm married. I love this woman.

692
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:50,239
Speaker 1: You're really hurting her when you talk about her weight.

693
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 1: That upsets her. Mom. Don't say that you understand me. Mom.

694
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,920
Speaker 1: I love you to death. You brought me into this world,

695
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 1: but I need you to hear me that. If you

696
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 1: truly love me back, you're gonna love my wife too,

697
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 1: because we're now one flash. Guys, you got the courage

698
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 1: to say that to mama. If it's hurting your wife

699
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:20,960
Speaker 1: that bad, Sarah, I'm sorry you're in the situation. Let it,

700
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 1: let it go, let it go, don't argue, don't show

701
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:31,919
Speaker 1: animosity back. That's just gonna kindle the flame. Okay, love

702
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 1: you guys. We'll see you next Monday. Yeee. Thanks for

703
00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:38,760
Speaker 1: joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you. Guys.

704
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 1: You could help me out by rating this podcast on

705
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:44,920
Speaker 1: iTunes if you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit

706
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 1: that little like button and notification spell so that you

707
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:51,880
Speaker 1: never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have

708
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,040
Speaker 1: a question for me that you would like me to answer,

709
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:59,319
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yie