WEBVTT - Kelly McCreary’s Undoctored Birth Story 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.880 Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda Land Audio 0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:06.560 in partnership with I Heart Radio. We planned a home birth, yes, 0:00:06.640 --> 0:00:10.360 and the second year pregnancy becomes abnormal, all of that 0:00:10.400 --> 0:00:12.640 whole plan goes out the window, right, So what happened 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:15.360 to me was that I my bag of waters broke 0:00:15.760 --> 0:00:20.120 at twenty eight and a half weeks. Oh my god, Kelly, 0:00:21.600 --> 0:00:33.640 it was crazy. Hi, everybody, welcome back to Katie's Crib today. 0:00:33.720 --> 0:00:36.159 I have a guest that I love with all my 0:00:36.200 --> 0:00:39.960 heart and souls who has recently become a mom. I 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:41.960 don't even know where to begin. I I don't even 0:00:42.000 --> 0:00:45.159 know where to begin. She recently had a baby, and 0:00:45.200 --> 0:00:48.840 I'm like, oh my gosh, please do Katie's Crib. Uh. 0:00:49.159 --> 0:00:53.360 You all know her as Dr Maggie Pierce, Meredith Gray's 0:00:53.479 --> 0:00:58.720 half sister on the ABC huge drama series Gray's Anatomy. 0:00:58.760 --> 0:01:01.200 Have you heard of it? I except that I first 0:01:01.280 --> 0:01:05.480 met her on Scandal, because she was also on Scandal. 0:01:06.080 --> 0:01:08.560 But you know her from a million other things like Castle, 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:14.679 Netflix's animated series Harvey Girls Forever, Thriving, Thriving, Thriving, glorious career. 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:19.440 Kelly McCreary is also very active in supporting voting rights, 0:01:19.480 --> 0:01:22.920 reproductive rights, protecting and uplifting black girls and women. She 0:01:23.040 --> 0:01:26.000 is a board member for Equal Justice Society. She's a 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:29.600 celebrity ambassador for Michelle Obama's When We All Vote, My 0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:33.800 goodness gracious. She is married to director Pete Chapman. The 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:38.080 two recently introduced their daughter, Indigo Reren, into the world 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:44.160 last October. That name is glorious. Kelly. I can't thank 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:47.640 you so much for coming on Kelly's Kelly's Crib. Yeah, 0:01:48.000 --> 0:01:57.360 let's call it Kelly's Crib today. The sequel, Katie's Branching Out. 0:01:58.040 --> 0:02:01.000 Oh my gosh, I love it. Um, that was such 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:02.920 a forty and slip. I love it. Should we like 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:08.120 make this happen? Okay, first and foremost you. Let's let's 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:10.960 take it back a second. Okay, we met on Scant. 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:13.480 Did we meet on Scandal or did we meet before that? 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:19.359 I think we met on Wait a minute, it's possible. 0:02:19.440 --> 0:02:21.560 Do we meet through any before that? We might have 0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:25.840 gone on a hike. So we have a lot of mutual, 0:02:26.400 --> 0:02:30.880 wonderful friends. But I remember you coming on Scandal, and 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:36.440 I remember people whispering in the makeup hair trailer that 0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:39.320 have you guys met and worked her, had any scenes 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:41.920 with Kelly McCreery yet on this show, because this girl 0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:45.560 is a fucking star. Like, that's what I remember attached 0:02:45.639 --> 0:02:48.160 to you. And then it was in one second that 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:52.919 you were scooped up and put on Gray's as like 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:55.560 the most pivotal role that's happened in the last like 0:02:55.960 --> 0:03:01.040 billion years of that show. So I'm so flattered. That's 0:03:01.080 --> 0:03:03.280 the memory that I attached with you. Was like people 0:03:03.280 --> 0:03:05.799 being like, holy shit, this girl's a fucking star. And 0:03:05.840 --> 0:03:08.280 I was like, holy shit, this girl's sucking star. And 0:03:08.320 --> 0:03:12.520 now your star and a mommy. So curious you and 0:03:12.560 --> 0:03:16.040 your husband met on the set of Gray's Anatomy, Yes, 0:03:17.560 --> 0:03:22.960 and yes, you got married in two thousand nineteen. And 0:03:23.320 --> 0:03:26.799 was parenthood always on the agenda? Like was it something 0:03:26.840 --> 0:03:28.960 that both of you knew you wanted to do. Was 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:31.520 it something you knew as a little girl, like you 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:33.080 always wanted to be a mom or was it not 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:37.119 something like that for you? Not at all. I did 0:03:37.240 --> 0:03:39.600 not think that I wanted to be a mom, you know, 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:44.680 I just I really appreciated how hard it was, right, 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:48.280 Like how hard being a mom is? My My My 0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:52.640 parents had four kids, and it was it's really a 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:57.440 lot of time and effort and work and attention and love. 0:03:57.480 --> 0:04:00.440 And it's like, I just I thought, with my life, 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:03.040 the life that I wanted, which was you know, I 0:04:03.080 --> 0:04:06.720 was my ambitions were so humble in the beginning. I 0:04:07.480 --> 0:04:09.760 just wanted to be like a theater actor, and I 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:12.360 just had a really hard time imagining I mean not 0:04:12.440 --> 0:04:14.560 just a theater actor. Theater actors are amazing. What I 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:18.040 mean is like the kind of theater actor that goes 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:22.400 from town to town doing regional plays and and makes 0:04:22.440 --> 0:04:25.360 you know, a few hundred bucks a week, you know, 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:27.640 because that's all I needed to live on. I was just, 0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:32.960 you know, a young, um person without many material needs, 0:04:33.000 --> 0:04:35.360 and I just thought, like, how would I ever fit 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:38.480 a child into this life that I love? I thought, 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:40.800 this is what I really want to do, This is 0:04:40.839 --> 0:04:42.919 what I'm really focused on now, is building up my 0:04:43.000 --> 0:04:46.240 career and having these experience and playing these characters and 0:04:46.600 --> 0:04:48.480 being a creative person in the world. And I just 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:52.800 I didn't know how to add being a mom to that. 0:04:52.880 --> 0:04:56.960 So I was like I could take it or leave it. No, Yeah, 0:04:56.960 --> 0:05:00.680 it wasn't like it was more important. You felt your 0:05:00.720 --> 0:05:04.760 priorities was artist. That was your priority. Is it is 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:12.040 not incredibly practical to be a traveling, nomadic artist and 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:15.440 be a mom. It just doesn't fit. I remember Laurie Metcalfe, 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:18.040 who I look up to so much. You guys all 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:21.080 know her. She's on the Connors and she's amazing, but like, 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:24.440 she didn't play. She she's a die hard theater actor, 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:30.760 die hard and she had gave birth to Zoe Perry 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:34.520 and that's when she took Jackie on Roseanne because she 0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:38.039 was like, I literally couldn't find nanny's that would just 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:39.919 show up at seven pm so I could make my 0:05:39.960 --> 0:05:43.680 a PM curtain literally, and she was like, I have 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:46.279 to take Jackie, like I have to take Roseanne, change 0:05:46.320 --> 0:05:49.719 the course of her life. But seriously, it does not fit. Okay, 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:53.480 so that's your priority. Yeah, so that was my priority. 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:56.520 And then it wasn't really for me. And then you know, 0:05:56.560 --> 0:05:59.400 I kind of reached my thirties and I was like, 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:03.240 whoa know, it's it may not happen and that's totally 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:07.760 fine with me. And and then I met Pete and 0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:10.480 we kind of just knew right away that we were 0:06:10.560 --> 0:06:13.280 going to be together. And um, so it wasn't long 0:06:13.320 --> 0:06:15.960 before he was like, we had to have a real 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:19.480 kind of come to Jesus and uh. And he was like, look, 0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:22.360 you know, I if we're going to continue going down 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:26.040 this road, you can't be ambivalent about having kids because 0:06:26.080 --> 0:06:29.359 I want to have children. Wow. I just got goose bumps. 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:33.520 I'm so into this guy and like his communication, Like 0:06:33.560 --> 0:06:38.000 I'm so into just him knowing himself, Like it's great. Yes, 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:42.719 it's wonderful to have a partner with self awareness and 0:06:42.760 --> 0:06:46.440 emotional intelligence. And he's a director, so like he really 0:06:46.440 --> 0:06:48.160 knows how to like direct, you know what I mean. 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:50.040 He's like, this is what I want and it's yes 0:06:50.160 --> 0:06:53.280 or no, like whatever, Okay, Griha have clarity and communicate 0:06:53.320 --> 0:06:56.360 with love about it. Yeah, And and so we had 0:06:56.400 --> 0:07:01.200 the conversation was like yeah, I mean I guess do 0:07:01.240 --> 0:07:06.560 I want a life with this person? Yes? And do 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:09.159 what if that involves kids? Am I okay with that? 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:10.800 And I did kind of like have a weekend of 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:14.440 freaking out and talking to my girlfriends like, tell you know, 0:07:14.480 --> 0:07:16.760 I can make up my mind about it right this second, 0:07:17.040 --> 0:07:19.280 right I did. I had to make up my mind, 0:07:19.840 --> 0:07:24.200 and um, what I realized was that my my my 0:07:24.280 --> 0:07:27.600 big fear around. It was sort of being in a 0:07:27.680 --> 0:07:34.360 situation where traditional gender roles were played out in parenting right, 0:07:34.440 --> 0:07:38.080 where like the bulk of the load fell on mom 0:07:38.280 --> 0:07:41.520 and I would wind up having to make all the 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:44.040 sacrifices and doing a lot of things on my own. 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:47.520 And and I realized it wouldn't be that way with 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:51.040 the person that I had chosen. I could reimagine what 0:07:51.400 --> 0:07:55.040 motherhood for me would actually look like, you know, and 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:58.000 having a family with Pete would actually look like, you know, 0:07:58.080 --> 0:08:01.480 and also articulate that end to work together with my 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:05.000 husband to like think about how we would approach our 0:08:05.040 --> 0:08:09.000 parenting and what our expectations were, and and just reframing 0:08:09.000 --> 0:08:11.440 it that way, it sounds like a great idea. I 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:16.239 was like, yeah, kids, sure, yeah, I love this. Yeah, 0:08:16.640 --> 0:08:20.840 love this. So, once you guys decided and you got married, 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:24.720 how is your fertility journey? Was it hard? Was it easy? 0:08:25.040 --> 0:08:30.360 Was it magical? Was it tell me all those things? Well? 0:08:30.360 --> 0:08:32.480 Of course, So having said all of that, that, like 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:34.559 I didn't really need to be convinced, but we did 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:37.840 have to have a conversation about it. Um. Once we 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:39.840 had that conversation got married, I was like, we gotta 0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:41.520 get this party started. You know, I'm not getting any 0:08:41.559 --> 0:08:47.280 younger here. That's such a female thing. It's like no, no, no, no, no, 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:49.880 no no. And then once you decide that you want it, 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:53.000 it's like, right now, this has to happen right fucking now. 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:57.040 That's so common, Like I know so many women even 0:08:57.040 --> 0:09:00.520 have come on this podcast where it's like uh, kind 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:02.360 of him in hall. And then once you make a decision, 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:06.440 it's like where this needs to happen yesterday, Yeah, exactly. 0:09:06.559 --> 0:09:11.439 So that's kind of you know, of course I'm accelerating 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:13.160 a little bit, you know, I did. It was about 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:15.280 a year before that feeling kind of set in where 0:09:15.280 --> 0:09:16.880 I was like, okay, wow, we've been married a year, 0:09:16.920 --> 0:09:20.959 let's go. Let's go. So our fertility journey. I expected 0:09:20.960 --> 0:09:24.760 it to be difficult, you know, I don't know why. 0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:28.040 I guess I just thought like that's the nature of 0:09:28.120 --> 0:09:32.080 life these days. Everybody kind of has um I know 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:34.360 a lot of people who have needed support and help 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:38.079 along their journey. And I was prepared for that because 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:40.320 I I don't know, I guess that's something I do 0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:42.280 in my mind to sort of play out, you know, 0:09:42.520 --> 0:09:45.920 challenging scenarios and prepare myself for them, yeah, worst case 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:49.960 scenario or something. Yeah, of course, of course, right, And 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:53.040 so I was like, Okay, well, let's assume this might 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:57.160 take a while and we might need some interventions, so 0:09:57.360 --> 0:09:59.440 let's get started now. And I sort of had this 0:09:59.480 --> 0:10:02.960 timeline like, Okay, we'll try on our own for a 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:05.800 few months and then maybe we'll get scientific about it 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:09.439 after X amount of time and then you know, etcetera. 0:10:10.760 --> 0:10:13.320 So you know, we just basically took the goalie out 0:10:13.360 --> 0:10:18.480 of the net, and um, we but we weren't really 0:10:18.520 --> 0:10:21.880 trying in a very intentional way, like in terms of 0:10:21.880 --> 0:10:26.920 like timing, right, there's like a very limited window time 0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:29.920 during which you can get pregnant. Yeah, very I think 0:10:29.960 --> 0:10:32.559 it's like the day you ovulate, I think I was reading. 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:34.800 I think that even the day, if you were to 0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:38.400 nail it, the twelve hours that you're ovulating, I think 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:41.960 it's still only less than a fifteen percent chance that 0:10:41.960 --> 0:10:45.719 you actually get pregnant. Like it's not easy, which is like, God, 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:48.240 when you're a teenager, you're like, if a dick yes 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:52.800 near my vagina, I'm pregnant. If a dick gets near 0:10:54.000 --> 0:10:56.839 oh my god. I was like, if I even see 0:10:56.960 --> 0:11:00.960 semen from six feet away, I'm going to get rid. Um, 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:08.080 so I'm going to guess that it wasn't hard. Yeah, 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:13.319 it wasn't. But but you know what's funny is that, um, 0:11:13.640 --> 0:11:17.520 we did wind up just doing the the ovulation tests 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:21.839 after like a couple of months. And at the same time, 0:11:21.960 --> 0:11:24.280 I was like, well, let's go ahead and also freeze 0:11:24.400 --> 0:11:28.160 some embryos, because if we decided to do this again, 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:31.360 you know, let's be prepared and we can also take 0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:33.960 our time and not worry about like having a rush 0:11:34.080 --> 0:11:37.040 into another pregnancy if we're concerned about my age or 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:39.280 anything like that, or both of our ages or anything. 0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:43.800 So I was actually about to start the process of 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:49.240 embryo freezing. Um. I was taking the estrogen that they 0:11:49.280 --> 0:11:53.720 give you to prepare your eggs so that they for extraction, 0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:57.520 and you know, you start taking that like a couple 0:11:57.520 --> 0:12:01.240 of days before your period supposed to start, and I 0:12:01.280 --> 0:12:03.240 didn't get my period, and I was like, oh my god, 0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:06.200 my perio has been like clockwork all these years, and 0:12:06.240 --> 0:12:09.400 wouldn't you know this estrogen is fucking with my period 0:12:09.520 --> 0:12:13.320 on this month, And like a week later, I was like, 0:12:13.360 --> 0:12:15.680 I still haven't got my period. This is so weird 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:18.920 and I was on the phone with Aya Cash actually 0:12:19.000 --> 0:12:22.960 meet you, a friend of ours, and and she was like, yeah, 0:12:22.960 --> 0:12:24.600 how's it going? And I was like, you know, girl, 0:12:25.559 --> 0:12:28.360 of course, look at that I'm not getting my period 0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:32.720 and um. She was like, why don't you take guys 0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:35.080 to find out if you're pregnant? I was like, I mean, 0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:38.040 I guess I don't know why, Like we have been 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:42.199 trying to get pregnant. I don't know why because your 0:12:42.440 --> 0:12:45.400 because your sites were so set on embryo freezing. Your 0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:47.400 sites were so set on like Okay, I'm going to 0:12:47.480 --> 0:12:50.079 freeze my eggs and I'm gonna be like you were 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:53.280 doing all the sort of executive functioning, which is like 0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:57.160 how do I plan and control something that's uncontrollable? But yes, 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:00.400 oh my gosh, that's such a great for himing for 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:05.120 what came next. But um, but yeah, sure enough, I 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:09.400 was not. Um, we were not able to um preserve 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:12.240 embryos that month because I was in fact pregnant already. 0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:14.760 The moment you found out that you were pregnant and 0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:17.160 you paid on a stake after you called I, she 0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:20.359 was like, take a pregnancy test. What were your immediate 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:26.160 thoughts and how did your husband take it my I 0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:29.000 was just shocked. I was like, oh wow, okay, I 0:13:29.080 --> 0:13:33.600 was genuinely surprised. I I I was so prepared to 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:38.439 go down this challenging road and um and my husband's 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:40.560 response when I called him, he was directing. He was 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:43.680 at work, and so when I called, when I texted 0:13:43.760 --> 0:13:45.719 him and said like, call me, he thought it was 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:51.480 an emergency, which uh like I shouldn't have done. But 0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:53.760 he called back immediately. He was like, what's He's calling 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:56.600 from video village, his al soda voce, you know. He's like, 0:13:56.679 --> 0:13:59.160 what's what's going on? What's up? And I was like, oh, well, 0:13:59.200 --> 0:14:02.240 oh no, no call back later, coming back and he's like, no, no, 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:07.480 you have to tell me now. And I said, well, 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:11.280 just to contest and kind and he said, that's what's up. 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:20.240 That it's exact words. I love it so measured. Oh 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:22.680 I love it. Did you feel when you realized that 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:27.440 you were pregnant and that this was already going differently 0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:32.040 than you had prepared yourself for it to go. Were 0:14:32.120 --> 0:14:36.160 you afraid? Were you excited? Were you relieved? Like? What 0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:39.440 was your immediate was relieved? Good? I was relieved. I 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:44.160 was like, okay, great, that saves us, you know that 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:49.360 potential m heartache or headache or you know whatever I had. 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:51.200 Of course, I knew that there were you know, there 0:14:51.240 --> 0:14:53.120 we still a little long road to go to a 0:14:53.240 --> 0:14:56.360 viable pregnancy for one thing, and then to actually the 0:14:56.440 --> 0:15:01.080 child being there. But I was relieved that that everything worked. 0:15:01.120 --> 0:15:03.560 I guess, you know, that's just a question. I've never 0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:08.280 been pregnant before, you know, Okay, I managed to get pregnant. 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:10.600 That that was a successful thing. So I was I 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:14.920 felt relieved. I um, I was really excited. I was like, Wow, 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:18.000 this is really happening. This thing that we said we're 0:15:18.000 --> 0:15:21.760 gonna do, it's it's actually you know, we're kicking it off. 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:25.160 And I was a little bit like, oh damn, okay, now, 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:28.040 well there's no more time to get ready. It's happening now. 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:30.520 I guess I thought, you know the other thing about 0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:35.200 going through the process of the more scientific process, or 0:15:35.280 --> 0:15:38.640 well what scientific interventions, um that kind of brought you 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:40.640 a little brought me a little more time to get 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:45.720 um mentally prepared or something. But here I was here 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:50.640 you are. I always think, like to like the nine 0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:55.280 months pregnancy which you did not have, and we will 0:15:55.280 --> 0:15:58.160 talk about that is the time, the time to sort 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:00.080 of get mentally prepared. Like I'm always like people like, 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:01.720 oh my god, I'm not ready, I'm pregnant. I'm like, well, 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:04.240 you don't have to be ready today. You still have 0:16:04.400 --> 0:16:08.760 time to wrap your head around this. Um. How was 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:11.920 the pregnancy experience for you before we get into the 0:16:12.000 --> 0:16:16.240 labor part of it, but like pregnancy, like like were 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:19.440 you sick? Were you not sick? Do were you glowing? 0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:21.560 Were you in a stride? Did you love it? Did 0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:27.280 you hate it? The first six weeks were great, felt fine. 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:34.640 UM was exercising, I was eating and very quickly and 0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:39.120 without ever turning back. It got I got hyper emesis. 0:16:39.160 --> 0:16:42.000 Grab a dar um, grab a dar um. What I 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:46.440 didn't know you had that? You were barfing like every day, 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:49.560 oh every day, all day, every day. My god. I 0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:53.200 didn't know anything about it until I watched Amy Schumer's 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:57.040 HBO documentary of her pregnancy, where she also had it. 0:16:57.040 --> 0:17:01.880 It's the most fucking realist, fucked up ship I've ever 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:05.919 and and also scary because the baby has to be 0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:09.000 getting nutrients and and it's and it's scary and a 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:11.440 lot of stress on a pregnancy on the on the 0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:14.000 on the baby and on the moll right now, and 0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:16.880 there is a there's like a continuum like Amy Shumers. 0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:18.879 I haven't seen the doc, but from what I understand, 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:23.840 hers was super severe and extreme. And I listened to 0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:26.640 the podcasts and read articles about it, and there were 0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:30.320 women who like couldn't keep water down until like months seven, 0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:34.200 you know, And I didn't have quite that extreme version 0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:36.240 of it. But there was not a day that went 0:17:36.320 --> 0:17:39.120 by that I did not get sick, need to take 0:17:39.119 --> 0:17:43.920 a drug and was totally incapacitated, Like starting around months four, 0:17:44.359 --> 0:17:48.880 I was basically like laid up, Um, were you shooting 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:51.480 during this time? Were you shooting at ten? No? I 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:57.000 wrapped it twelve weeks and at ten weeks my SI 0:17:57.160 --> 0:18:00.720 joints slipped, you know, so like that wre moon, relax, 0:18:04.119 --> 0:18:07.560 relax and yeah, And it usually happens a lot further 0:18:07.600 --> 0:18:09.600 down the line, like at least a couple of months 0:18:09.600 --> 0:18:14.840 in but for me, it happened um at week ten, 0:18:15.160 --> 0:18:17.719 which was also a week I was first hospitalized for 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:22.960 the from sickness and uh and and then I went 0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:25.960 back to work and shot because that was our COVID 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:29.679 season on Gray's and that was the first scenes I 0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:32.879 shot all year long where I wasn't in scrubs and 0:18:32.960 --> 0:18:36.119 sneakers and I was in lu Bhutan's and a wedding 0:18:36.200 --> 0:18:41.320 dress and I was like in terrible pain and like vomiting. 0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:46.399 It was just a ship show. Um so so but 0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:48.960 then we wrapped. Yeah, but then we wrapped it at 0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:53.199 week twelve for me and um and so I was 0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:57.800 on my hiatus when I was really really sick. Um. Yeah, 0:18:57.800 --> 0:19:00.960 I tried traveling. My husband is working in New York 0:19:01.119 --> 0:19:04.440 and tried being there with him, and I was so uncomfortable, 0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:06.359 you know, I wanted up going back home and just 0:19:06.440 --> 0:19:08.600 kind of being by myself. My sisters came to visit. 0:19:08.960 --> 0:19:11.000 I went and visited my mom, and I was like, 0:19:11.080 --> 0:19:14.600 I go home. You know. It was just it was 0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:19.919 it was yeah, but you know, I don't know. I 0:19:19.960 --> 0:19:23.320 guess even then, I was like, this is terrible and 0:19:23.359 --> 0:19:26.880 I never want to do this again. But I thought 0:19:26.920 --> 0:19:29.440 that would be the worst of it until one day, 0:19:29.960 --> 0:19:43.160 Oh my god, so tell me now, this is huge. 0:19:43.600 --> 0:19:48.880 Let's go through Indie's birth story. Um. And they arrived, 0:19:49.320 --> 0:19:53.520 uh we know via people. India arrived several weeks early 0:19:54.760 --> 0:19:59.200 in October three is her birthday. October one, my son's 0:19:59.240 --> 0:20:05.760 birthdays atterber second, we've got our Libra baby. Yes, so 0:20:05.960 --> 0:20:10.200 take us through. I know, um, you guys had originally 0:20:10.240 --> 0:20:14.040 planned home birth, and here we are, here we have it. 0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:19.360 The pregnancy did not go according to total plans, with 0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:22.800 the sickness, and now here we have the birth story. 0:20:22.920 --> 0:20:27.399 Also total surrender of not being able to plan or 0:20:27.440 --> 0:20:31.719 control what happened. Take us through it. Yeah. Well, you 0:20:31.720 --> 0:20:34.880 know when I when we were trying to get pregnant, 0:20:34.880 --> 0:20:36.879 and then in the early days of my pregnancy, I 0:20:36.920 --> 0:20:40.760 was doing so much reading about pregnancy and childbirth, and 0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:46.600 I was really just shocked by how little I knew 0:20:47.640 --> 0:20:52.800 and how little of it is mainstream knowledge, considering that 0:20:52.880 --> 0:20:55.880 it happens to so many people. And I thought like 0:20:56.040 --> 0:20:58.159 there were just like vocabulary words, and I was like, 0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:01.800 how do I not know about this thing? That it 0:21:01.880 --> 0:21:06.399 happens invariably to any birthing person, But like relaxing is 0:21:06.400 --> 0:21:08.879 a hormone? Why did I ever hear about this? You know, 0:21:09.680 --> 0:21:11.960 of course there are a lot of bodily functions and 0:21:12.320 --> 0:21:14.520 disease and pathologies and all kinds of things that that 0:21:14.600 --> 0:21:18.720 we don't know anything about, But like, childbirth is so normal, 0:21:18.920 --> 0:21:22.199 and yet it's like, it's so weirdly on the margins, 0:21:22.320 --> 0:21:27.360 just I think because it happens largely to women, women exactly. 0:21:27.400 --> 0:21:29.320 I I was doing all this reading shocked by how 0:21:29.359 --> 0:21:31.760 much how little I I didn't know in order to 0:21:31.800 --> 0:21:34.600 make an informed choice about how I wanted my how 0:21:34.720 --> 0:21:37.080 I wanted to do my pregnancy, how I wanted to 0:21:37.119 --> 0:21:39.640 do my birth, and and all of those things. And 0:21:40.480 --> 0:21:43.679 ultimately we planned a home birth, yes, and we had 0:21:43.680 --> 0:21:45.400 a dula, and we had a midwife. And I didn't 0:21:45.400 --> 0:21:47.159 even have an obie that I was working with at 0:21:47.160 --> 0:21:49.800 the time, because I was like, you know, I don't 0:21:49.840 --> 0:21:53.800 need one. I'm covered with these other medical professionals and 0:21:54.320 --> 0:21:58.920 I am. That whole plan was contingent on having what 0:21:59.000 --> 0:22:04.920 you call a normal pregnancy. The second year pregnancy becomes abnormal, 0:22:05.400 --> 0:22:07.600 all of that whole plan goes out the window, right, 0:22:07.640 --> 0:22:10.120 So what happened to me was that I my bag 0:22:10.160 --> 0:22:12.840 of waters broke at twenty eight and a half weeks. 0:22:13.600 --> 0:22:20.159 Oh my god, Kelly, how fucking scary. It was crazy, 0:22:20.640 --> 0:22:24.040 It was weird. The dawning of it was slow for me. 0:22:24.320 --> 0:22:26.879 I didn't know how scary that was at first, Like, 0:22:27.320 --> 0:22:29.120 as soon as I found out the bag of waters broke. 0:22:29.160 --> 0:22:32.240 I was like, okay, well what does that mean? You 0:22:32.280 --> 0:22:35.199 know what? Okay, so how do we close it? You know, 0:22:35.280 --> 0:22:39.440 how do and um, the nurse in the hospital very 0:22:39.560 --> 0:22:42.160 kind of ungently said to me, like, you can't leave 0:22:42.320 --> 0:22:45.280 until this baby becomes very dramatic, and I was like, 0:22:46.320 --> 0:22:48.800 you know, for so for twelve weeks, I'm gonna be 0:22:48.840 --> 0:22:50.840 in the hospital, what you know. It also didn't occur 0:22:50.880 --> 0:22:52.560 to me that like that meant the baby was gonna 0:22:52.640 --> 0:22:55.560 calm sooner than later. I certainly wasn't going to make 0:22:55.600 --> 0:22:59.800 it to forty weeks um, and everything that I thought 0:22:59.800 --> 0:23:02.639 that I knew about how to take care of myself 0:23:02.720 --> 0:23:06.000 during pregnancy also went out the window because suddenly you're 0:23:06.040 --> 0:23:09.879 extremely vulnerable to infection or baby is vulnerable to infection, 0:23:10.440 --> 0:23:12.639 and all of the choices that you would have made, 0:23:12.680 --> 0:23:15.560 like none of those are available as options anymore. Pre 0:23:15.760 --> 0:23:19.960 natal yoga on Tuesdays and Thursdays and like eating this 0:23:20.040 --> 0:23:24.160 thing or whatever. No, it literally becomes like my water broke, 0:23:24.280 --> 0:23:27.679 which means that now the baby is no longer in 0:23:27.720 --> 0:23:32.040 an enclosed, protected sack, that it is open and so 0:23:32.160 --> 0:23:35.880 now this is totally medical And if you had made 0:23:35.880 --> 0:23:39.399 a home birth choice. All of a sudden, none of 0:23:39.400 --> 0:23:44.680 these are options anymore, which is like really really wild, right, 0:23:44.880 --> 0:23:47.120 And it was it just was a constant I mean, 0:23:47.119 --> 0:23:49.119 it was in hospital for almost six weeks, and it 0:23:49.200 --> 0:23:50.920 was just every day it was like, wait, I can't 0:23:50.960 --> 0:23:55.600 do that. I can't do um. Nobody could guarantee me anything. 0:23:55.640 --> 0:23:58.480 But the thing that the team was most trying to 0:23:58.520 --> 0:24:01.160 help me do to the one thing I could still 0:24:01.200 --> 0:24:02.639 hold on too, was at least to try to have 0:24:02.640 --> 0:24:07.439 a vaginal birth. But that meant that, um, you know, 0:24:07.600 --> 0:24:10.560 I would have to do it early, because if you 0:24:10.640 --> 0:24:13.480