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Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda Land Audio

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Speaker 1: in partnership with I Heart Radio. We planned a home birth, yes,

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Speaker 1: and the second year pregnancy becomes abnormal, all of that

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Speaker 1: whole plan goes out the window, right, So what happened

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Speaker 1: to me was that I my bag of waters broke

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Speaker 1: at twenty eight and a half weeks. Oh my god, Kelly,

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Speaker 1: it was crazy. Hi, everybody, welcome back to Katie's Crib today.

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Speaker 1: I have a guest that I love with all my

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Speaker 1: heart and souls who has recently become a mom. I

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Speaker 1: don't even know where to begin. I I don't even

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Speaker 1: know where to begin. She recently had a baby, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, please do Katie's Crib. Uh.

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Speaker 1: You all know her as Dr Maggie Pierce, Meredith Gray's

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Speaker 1: half sister on the ABC huge drama series Gray's Anatomy.

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Speaker 1: Have you heard of it? I except that I first

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Speaker 1: met her on Scandal, because she was also on Scandal.

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Speaker 1: But you know her from a million other things like Castle,

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Speaker 1: Netflix's animated series Harvey Girls Forever, Thriving, Thriving, Thriving, glorious career.

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Speaker 1: Kelly McCreary is also very active in supporting voting rights,

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Speaker 1: reproductive rights, protecting and uplifting black girls and women. She

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Speaker 1: is a board member for Equal Justice Society. She's a

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Speaker 1: celebrity ambassador for Michelle Obama's When We All Vote, My

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Speaker 1: goodness gracious. She is married to director Pete Chapman. The

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Speaker 1: two recently introduced their daughter, Indigo Reren, into the world

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Speaker 1: last October. That name is glorious. Kelly. I can't thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for coming on Kelly's Kelly's Crib. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's call it Kelly's Crib today. The sequel, Katie's Branching Out.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I love it. Um, that was such

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Speaker 1: a forty and slip. I love it. Should we like

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Speaker 1: make this happen? Okay, first and foremost you. Let's let's

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Speaker 1: take it back a second. Okay, we met on Scant.

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Speaker 1: Did we meet on Scandal or did we meet before that?

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Speaker 1: I think we met on Wait a minute, it's possible.

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Speaker 1: Do we meet through any before that? We might have

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Speaker 1: gone on a hike. So we have a lot of mutual,

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Speaker 1: wonderful friends. But I remember you coming on Scandal, and

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Speaker 1: I remember people whispering in the makeup hair trailer that

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Speaker 1: have you guys met and worked her, had any scenes

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Speaker 1: with Kelly McCreery yet on this show, because this girl

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Speaker 1: is a fucking star. Like, that's what I remember attached

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Speaker 1: to you. And then it was in one second that

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Speaker 1: you were scooped up and put on Gray's as like

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Speaker 1: the most pivotal role that's happened in the last like

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Speaker 1: billion years of that show. So I'm so flattered. That's

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Speaker 1: the memory that I attached with you. Was like people

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Speaker 1: being like, holy shit, this girl's a fucking star. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, holy shit, this girl's sucking star. And

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Speaker 1: now your star and a mommy. So curious you and

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Speaker 1: your husband met on the set of Gray's Anatomy, Yes,

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Speaker 1: and yes, you got married in two thousand nineteen. And

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Speaker 1: was parenthood always on the agenda? Like was it something

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Speaker 1: that both of you knew you wanted to do. Was

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Speaker 1: it something you knew as a little girl, like you

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Speaker 1: always wanted to be a mom or was it not

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Speaker 1: something like that for you? Not at all. I did

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Speaker 1: not think that I wanted to be a mom, you know,

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Speaker 1: I just I really appreciated how hard it was, right,

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Speaker 1: Like how hard being a mom is? My My My

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Speaker 1: parents had four kids, and it was it's really a

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Speaker 1: lot of time and effort and work and attention and love.

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Speaker 1: And it's like, I just I thought, with my life,

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Speaker 1: the life that I wanted, which was you know, I

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Speaker 1: was my ambitions were so humble in the beginning. I

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Speaker 1: just wanted to be like a theater actor, and I

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Speaker 1: just had a really hard time imagining I mean not

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Speaker 1: just a theater actor. Theater actors are amazing. What I

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Speaker 1: mean is like the kind of theater actor that goes

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Speaker 1: from town to town doing regional plays and and makes

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Speaker 1: you know, a few hundred bucks a week, you know,

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Speaker 1: because that's all I needed to live on. I was just,

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Speaker 1: you know, a young, um person without many material needs,

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Speaker 1: and I just thought, like, how would I ever fit

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Speaker 1: a child into this life that I love? I thought,

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Speaker 1: this is what I really want to do, This is

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Speaker 1: what I'm really focused on now, is building up my

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Speaker 1: career and having these experience and playing these characters and

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Speaker 1: being a creative person in the world. And I just

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Speaker 1: I didn't know how to add being a mom to that.

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Speaker 1: So I was like I could take it or leave it. No, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't like it was more important. You felt your

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Speaker 1: priorities was artist. That was your priority. Is it is

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Speaker 1: not incredibly practical to be a traveling, nomadic artist and

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Speaker 1: be a mom. It just doesn't fit. I remember Laurie Metcalfe,

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Speaker 1: who I look up to so much. You guys all

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Speaker 1: know her. She's on the Connors and she's amazing, but like,

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Speaker 1: she didn't play. She she's a die hard theater actor,

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Speaker 1: die hard and she had gave birth to Zoe Perry

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Speaker 1: and that's when she took Jackie on Roseanne because she

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Speaker 1: was like, I literally couldn't find nanny's that would just

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Speaker 1: show up at seven pm so I could make my

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Speaker 1: a PM curtain literally, and she was like, I have

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Speaker 1: to take Jackie, like I have to take Roseanne, change

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Speaker 1: the course of her life. But seriously, it does not fit. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so that's your priority. Yeah, so that was my priority.

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Speaker 1: And then it wasn't really for me. And then you know,

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Speaker 1: I kind of reached my thirties and I was like,

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Speaker 1: whoa know, it's it may not happen and that's totally

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Speaker 1: fine with me. And and then I met Pete and

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Speaker 1: we kind of just knew right away that we were

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Speaker 1: going to be together. And um, so it wasn't long

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Speaker 1: before he was like, we had to have a real

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Speaker 1: kind of come to Jesus and uh. And he was like, look,

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Speaker 1: you know, I if we're going to continue going down

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Speaker 1: this road, you can't be ambivalent about having kids because

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Speaker 1: I want to have children. Wow. I just got goose bumps.

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Speaker 1: I'm so into this guy and like his communication, Like

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Speaker 1: I'm so into just him knowing himself, Like it's great. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it's wonderful to have a partner with self awareness and

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Speaker 1: emotional intelligence. And he's a director, so like he really

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Speaker 1: knows how to like direct, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: He's like, this is what I want and it's yes

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Speaker 1: or no, like whatever, Okay, Griha have clarity and communicate

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Speaker 1: with love about it. Yeah, And and so we had

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Speaker 1: the conversation was like yeah, I mean I guess do

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Speaker 1: I want a life with this person? Yes? And do

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Speaker 1: what if that involves kids? Am I okay with that?

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Speaker 1: And I did kind of like have a weekend of

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Speaker 1: freaking out and talking to my girlfriends like, tell you know,

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Speaker 1: I can make up my mind about it right this second,

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Speaker 1: right I did. I had to make up my mind,

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Speaker 1: and um, what I realized was that my my my

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Speaker 1: big fear around. It was sort of being in a

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Speaker 1: situation where traditional gender roles were played out in parenting right,

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Speaker 1: where like the bulk of the load fell on mom

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Speaker 1: and I would wind up having to make all the

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Speaker 1: sacrifices and doing a lot of things on my own.

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Speaker 1: And and I realized it wouldn't be that way with

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Speaker 1: the person that I had chosen. I could reimagine what

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Speaker 1: motherhood for me would actually look like, you know, and

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Speaker 1: having a family with Pete would actually look like, you know,

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Speaker 1: and also articulate that end to work together with my

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Speaker 1: husband to like think about how we would approach our

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Speaker 1: parenting and what our expectations were, and and just reframing

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Speaker 1: it that way, it sounds like a great idea. I

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Speaker 1: was like, yeah, kids, sure, yeah, I love this. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: love this. So, once you guys decided and you got married,

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Speaker 1: how is your fertility journey? Was it hard? Was it easy?

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Speaker 1: Was it magical? Was it tell me all those things? Well?

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Speaker 1: Of course, So having said all of that, that, like

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Speaker 1: I didn't really need to be convinced, but we did

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Speaker 1: have to have a conversation about it. Um. Once we

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Speaker 1: had that conversation got married, I was like, we gotta

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Speaker 1: get this party started. You know, I'm not getting any

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Speaker 1: younger here. That's such a female thing. It's like no, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: no no. And then once you decide that you want it,

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Speaker 1: it's like, right now, this has to happen right fucking now.

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Speaker 1: That's so common, Like I know so many women even

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Speaker 1: have come on this podcast where it's like uh, kind

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Speaker 1: of him in hall. And then once you make a decision,

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Speaker 1: it's like where this needs to happen yesterday, Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: So that's kind of you know, of course I'm accelerating

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Speaker 1: a little bit, you know, I did. It was about

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Speaker 1: a year before that feeling kind of set in where

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Speaker 1: I was like, okay, wow, we've been married a year,

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Speaker 1: let's go. Let's go. So our fertility journey. I expected

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Speaker 1: it to be difficult, you know, I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: I guess I just thought like that's the nature of

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Speaker 1: life these days. Everybody kind of has um I know

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Speaker 1: a lot of people who have needed support and help

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Speaker 1: along their journey. And I was prepared for that because

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Speaker 1: I I don't know, I guess that's something I do

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Speaker 1: in my mind to sort of play out, you know,

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Speaker 1: challenging scenarios and prepare myself for them, yeah, worst case

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Speaker 1: scenario or something. Yeah, of course, of course, right, And

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Speaker 1: so I was like, Okay, well, let's assume this might

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Speaker 1: take a while and we might need some interventions, so

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Speaker 1: let's get started now. And I sort of had this

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Speaker 1: timeline like, Okay, we'll try on our own for a

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Speaker 1: few months and then maybe we'll get scientific about it

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Speaker 1: after X amount of time and then you know, etcetera.

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Speaker 1: So you know, we just basically took the goalie out

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Speaker 1: of the net, and um, we but we weren't really

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Speaker 1: trying in a very intentional way, like in terms of

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Speaker 1: like timing, right, there's like a very limited window time

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Speaker 1: during which you can get pregnant. Yeah, very I think

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Speaker 1: it's like the day you ovulate, I think I was reading.

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Speaker 1: I think that even the day, if you were to

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Speaker 1: nail it, the twelve hours that you're ovulating, I think

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Speaker 1: it's still only less than a fifteen percent chance that

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Speaker 1: you actually get pregnant. Like it's not easy, which is like, God,

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Speaker 1: when you're a teenager, you're like, if a dick yes

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Speaker 1: near my vagina, I'm pregnant. If a dick gets near

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Speaker 1: oh my god. I was like, if I even see

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Speaker 1: semen from six feet away, I'm going to get rid. Um,

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Speaker 1: so I'm going to guess that it wasn't hard. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't. But but you know what's funny is that, um,

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Speaker 1: we did wind up just doing the the ovulation tests

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Speaker 1: after like a couple of months. And at the same time,

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, let's go ahead and also freeze

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Speaker 1: some embryos, because if we decided to do this again,

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Speaker 1: you know, let's be prepared and we can also take

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Speaker 1: our time and not worry about like having a rush

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Speaker 1: into another pregnancy if we're concerned about my age or

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Speaker 1: anything like that, or both of our ages or anything.

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Speaker 1: So I was actually about to start the process of

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Speaker 1: embryo freezing. Um. I was taking the estrogen that they

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Speaker 1: give you to prepare your eggs so that they for extraction,

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Speaker 1: and you know, you start taking that like a couple

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Speaker 1: of days before your period supposed to start, and I

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Speaker 1: didn't get my period, and I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: my perio has been like clockwork all these years, and

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Speaker 1: wouldn't you know this estrogen is fucking with my period

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Speaker 1: on this month, And like a week later, I was like,

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Speaker 1: I still haven't got my period. This is so weird

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Speaker 1: and I was on the phone with Aya Cash actually

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Speaker 1: meet you, a friend of ours, and and she was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: how's it going? And I was like, you know, girl,

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Speaker 1: of course, look at that I'm not getting my period

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Speaker 1: and um. She was like, why don't you take guys

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Speaker 1: to find out if you're pregnant? I was like, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I guess I don't know why, Like we have been

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Speaker 1: trying to get pregnant. I don't know why because your

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Speaker 1: because your sites were so set on embryo freezing. Your

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Speaker 1: sites were so set on like Okay, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: freeze my eggs and I'm gonna be like you were

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Speaker 1: doing all the sort of executive functioning, which is like

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Speaker 1: how do I plan and control something that's uncontrollable? But yes,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, that's such a great for himing for

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Speaker 1: what came next. But um, but yeah, sure enough, I

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Speaker 1: was not. Um, we were not able to um preserve

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Speaker 1: embryos that month because I was in fact pregnant already.

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Speaker 1: The moment you found out that you were pregnant and

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Speaker 1: you paid on a stake after you called I, she

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Speaker 1: was like, take a pregnancy test. What were your immediate

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Speaker 1: thoughts and how did your husband take it my I

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Speaker 1: was just shocked. I was like, oh wow, okay, I

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Speaker 1: was genuinely surprised. I I I was so prepared to

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Speaker 1: go down this challenging road and um and my husband's

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Speaker 1: response when I called him, he was directing. He was

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Speaker 1: at work, and so when I called, when I texted

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Speaker 1: him and said like, call me, he thought it was

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Speaker 1: an emergency, which uh like I shouldn't have done. But

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Speaker 1: he called back immediately. He was like, what's He's calling

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Speaker 1: from video village, his al soda voce, you know. He's like,

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Speaker 1: what's what's going on? What's up? And I was like, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: oh no, no call back later, coming back and he's like, no, no,

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Speaker 1: you have to tell me now. And I said, well,

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Speaker 1: just to contest and kind and he said, that's what's up.

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Speaker 1: That it's exact words. I love it so measured. Oh

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Speaker 1: I love it. Did you feel when you realized that

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Speaker 1: you were pregnant and that this was already going differently

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Speaker 1: than you had prepared yourself for it to go. Were

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Speaker 1: you afraid? Were you excited? Were you relieved? Like? What

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Speaker 1: was your immediate was relieved? Good? I was relieved. I

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Speaker 1: was like, okay, great, that saves us, you know that

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Speaker 1: potential m heartache or headache or you know whatever I had.

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Speaker 1: Of course, I knew that there were you know, there

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Speaker 1: we still a little long road to go to a

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Speaker 1: viable pregnancy for one thing, and then to actually the

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Speaker 1: child being there. But I was relieved that that everything worked.

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Speaker 1: I guess, you know, that's just a question. I've never

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Speaker 1: been pregnant before, you know, Okay, I managed to get pregnant.

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Speaker 1: That that was a successful thing. So I was I

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Speaker 1: felt relieved. I um, I was really excited. I was like, Wow,

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Speaker 1: this is really happening. This thing that we said we're

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Speaker 1: gonna do, it's it's actually you know, we're kicking it off.

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Speaker 1: And I was a little bit like, oh damn, okay, now,

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Speaker 1: well there's no more time to get ready. It's happening now.

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Speaker 1: I guess I thought, you know the other thing about

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Speaker 1: going through the process of the more scientific process, or

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Speaker 1: well what scientific interventions, um that kind of brought you

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Speaker 1: a little brought me a little more time to get

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Speaker 1: um mentally prepared or something. But here I was here

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Speaker 1: you are. I always think, like to like the nine

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Speaker 1: months pregnancy which you did not have, and we will

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Speaker 1: talk about that is the time, the time to sort

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Speaker 1: of get mentally prepared. Like I'm always like people like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm not ready, I'm pregnant. I'm like, well,

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Speaker 1: you don't have to be ready today. You still have

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Speaker 1: time to wrap your head around this. Um. How was

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Speaker 1: the pregnancy experience for you before we get into the

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Speaker 1: labor part of it, but like pregnancy, like like were

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Speaker 1: you sick? Were you not sick? Do were you glowing?

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Speaker 1: Were you in a stride? Did you love it? Did

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Speaker 1: you hate it? The first six weeks were great, felt fine.

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Speaker 1: UM was exercising, I was eating and very quickly and

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Speaker 1: without ever turning back. It got I got hyper emesis.

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Speaker 1: Grab a dar um, grab a dar um. What I

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Speaker 1: didn't know you had that? You were barfing like every day,

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Speaker 1: oh every day, all day, every day. My god. I

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Speaker 1: didn't know anything about it until I watched Amy Schumer's

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Speaker 1: HBO documentary of her pregnancy, where she also had it.

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Speaker 1: It's the most fucking realist, fucked up ship I've ever

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Speaker 1: and and also scary because the baby has to be

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Speaker 1: getting nutrients and and it's and it's scary and a

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Speaker 1: lot of stress on a pregnancy on the on the

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Speaker 1: on the baby and on the moll right now, and

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Speaker 1: there is a there's like a continuum like Amy Shumers.

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Speaker 1: I haven't seen the doc, but from what I understand,

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Speaker 1: hers was super severe and extreme. And I listened to

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Speaker 1: the podcasts and read articles about it, and there were

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Speaker 1: women who like couldn't keep water down until like months seven,

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Speaker 1: you know, And I didn't have quite that extreme version

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Speaker 1: of it. But there was not a day that went

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Speaker 1: by that I did not get sick, need to take

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Speaker 1: a drug and was totally incapacitated, Like starting around months four,

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Speaker 1: I was basically like laid up, Um, were you shooting

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Speaker 1: during this time? Were you shooting at ten? No? I

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Speaker 1: wrapped it twelve weeks and at ten weeks my SI

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Speaker 1: joints slipped, you know, so like that wre moon, relax,

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Speaker 1: relax and yeah, And it usually happens a lot further

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Speaker 1: down the line, like at least a couple of months

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Speaker 1: in but for me, it happened um at week ten,

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Speaker 1: which was also a week I was first hospitalized for

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Speaker 1: the from sickness and uh and and then I went

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Speaker 1: back to work and shot because that was our COVID

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Speaker 1: season on Gray's and that was the first scenes I

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Speaker 1: shot all year long where I wasn't in scrubs and

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Speaker 1: sneakers and I was in lu Bhutan's and a wedding

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Speaker 1: dress and I was like in terrible pain and like vomiting.

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Speaker 1: It was just a ship show. Um so so but

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Speaker 1: then we wrapped. Yeah, but then we wrapped it at

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Speaker 1: week twelve for me and um and so I was

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Speaker 1: on my hiatus when I was really really sick. Um. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I tried traveling. My husband is working in New York

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Speaker 1: and tried being there with him, and I was so uncomfortable,

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Speaker 1: you know, I wanted up going back home and just

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Speaker 1: kind of being by myself. My sisters came to visit.

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Speaker 1: I went and visited my mom, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I go home. You know. It was just it was

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Speaker 1: it was yeah, but you know, I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: guess even then, I was like, this is terrible and

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Speaker 1: I never want to do this again. But I thought

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Speaker 1: that would be the worst of it until one day,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, so tell me now, this is huge.

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Speaker 1: Let's go through Indie's birth story. Um. And they arrived,

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Speaker 1: uh we know via people. India arrived several weeks early

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Speaker 1: in October three is her birthday. October one, my son's

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Speaker 1: birthdays atterber second, we've got our Libra baby. Yes, so

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Speaker 1: take us through. I know, um, you guys had originally

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Speaker 1: planned home birth, and here we are, here we have it.

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Speaker 1: The pregnancy did not go according to total plans, with

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Speaker 1: the sickness, and now here we have the birth story.

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Speaker 1: Also total surrender of not being able to plan or

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Speaker 1: control what happened. Take us through it. Yeah. Well, you

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Speaker 1: know when I when we were trying to get pregnant,

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Speaker 1: and then in the early days of my pregnancy, I

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Speaker 1: was doing so much reading about pregnancy and childbirth, and

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Speaker 1: I was really just shocked by how little I knew

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Speaker 1: and how little of it is mainstream knowledge, considering that

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Speaker 1: it happens to so many people. And I thought like

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Speaker 1: there were just like vocabulary words, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: how do I not know about this thing? That it

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Speaker 1: happens invariably to any birthing person, But like relaxing is

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Speaker 1: a hormone? Why did I ever hear about this? You know,

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Speaker 1: of course there are a lot of bodily functions and

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Speaker 1: disease and pathologies and all kinds of things that that

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Speaker 1: we don't know anything about, But like, childbirth is so normal,

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Speaker 1: and yet it's like, it's so weirdly on the margins,

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Speaker 1: just I think because it happens largely to women, women exactly.

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Speaker 1: I I was doing all this reading shocked by how

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Speaker 1: much how little I I didn't know in order to

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Speaker 1: make an informed choice about how I wanted my how

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Speaker 1: I wanted to do my pregnancy, how I wanted to

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Speaker 1: do my birth, and and all of those things. And

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Speaker 1: ultimately we planned a home birth, yes, and we had

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Speaker 1: a dula, and we had a midwife. And I didn't

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Speaker 1: even have an obie that I was working with at

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Speaker 1: the time, because I was like, you know, I don't

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Speaker 1: need one. I'm covered with these other medical professionals and

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Speaker 1: I am. That whole plan was contingent on having what

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Speaker 1: you call a normal pregnancy. The second year pregnancy becomes abnormal,

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Speaker 1: all of that whole plan goes out the window, right,

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Speaker 1: So what happened to me was that I my bag

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Speaker 1: of waters broke at twenty eight and a half weeks.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Kelly, how fucking scary. It was crazy,

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Speaker 1: It was weird. The dawning of it was slow for me.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know how scary that was at first, Like,

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Speaker 1: as soon as I found out the bag of waters broke.

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Speaker 1: I was like, okay, well what does that mean? You

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Speaker 1: know what? Okay, so how do we close it? You know,

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Speaker 1: how do and um, the nurse in the hospital very

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Speaker 1: kind of ungently said to me, like, you can't leave

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Speaker 1: until this baby becomes very dramatic, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, for so for twelve weeks, I'm gonna be

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Speaker 1: in the hospital, what you know. It also didn't occur

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Speaker 1: to me that like that meant the baby was gonna

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Speaker 1: calm sooner than later. I certainly wasn't going to make

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Speaker 1: it to forty weeks um, and everything that I thought

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Speaker 1: that I knew about how to take care of myself

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Speaker 1: during pregnancy also went out the window because suddenly you're

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Speaker 1: extremely vulnerable to infection or baby is vulnerable to infection,

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Speaker 1: and all of the choices that you would have made,

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Speaker 1: like none of those are available as options anymore. Pre

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Speaker 1: natal yoga on Tuesdays and Thursdays and like eating this

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Speaker 1: thing or whatever. No, it literally becomes like my water broke,

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Speaker 1: which means that now the baby is no longer in

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Speaker 1: an enclosed, protected sack, that it is open and so

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Speaker 1: now this is totally medical And if you had made

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Speaker 1: a home birth choice. All of a sudden, none of

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Speaker 1: these are options anymore, which is like really really wild, right,

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Speaker 1: And it was it just was a constant I mean,

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Speaker 1: it was in hospital for almost six weeks, and it

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Speaker 1: was just every day it was like, wait, I can't

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Speaker 1: do that. I can't do um. Nobody could guarantee me anything.

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Speaker 1: But the thing that the team was most trying to

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Speaker 1: help me do to the one thing I could still

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Speaker 1: hold on too, was at least to try to have

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Speaker 1: a vaginal birth. But that meant that, um, you know,

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Speaker 1: I would have to do it early, because if you

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Speaker 1: wait too long, then you run the risk of having

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Speaker 1: to have an emergency c section, and then you don't

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Speaker 1: even get to have the kind of c section when

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Speaker 1: you're conscious for it and can still watch it happening,

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Speaker 1: you know. And so it was obviously just all very

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Speaker 1: high stakes, and and every day I just I had

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Speaker 1: such a hard time. I was so sad, you know.

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Speaker 1: There was like a daily grieving what I wanted, and

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Speaker 1: a daily grieving of the fact that like everything was

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Speaker 1: so out of my control and and so scary for

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Speaker 1: the baby. You know. Um, for example, I keep telling

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Speaker 1: people like, of course, you know, a hospital is not.

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Speaker 1: They can't force you to do anything. I can't force

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Speaker 1: you to stay, but you are a mother now. And

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Speaker 1: and if I had chosen to go home because I

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Speaker 1: thought maybe, you know, I would be fine there, if

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Speaker 1: I just did my bed rest from there, I ran

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Speaker 1: the risk of not getting to the hospital in time,

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Speaker 1: you know, to deliver my baby safely. And so you

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Speaker 1: can't safely make that choice without going like, yeah, but

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Speaker 1: what if something happens. What if something happens and um,

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Speaker 1: I you know, was going to have to do things

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Speaker 1: their way. Wow, this is so wild, Kelly. I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: just I'm so quiet. I'm very rarely quiet, but I'm

425
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 1: just like really feeling you right now, Like I'm just

426
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:43,679
Speaker 1: really feeling this experience and this this loss of letting

427
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 1: truly letting go of any ideas you had of how

428
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,959
Speaker 1: this was going to go and what you wanted, and

429
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 1: that it just really wasn't about that. Yeah. So medically

430
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:01,679
Speaker 1: your water breaks, you go to the hospital, and did

431
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 1: they do some sort of procedure where they so it

432
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:09,639
Speaker 1: closed or no? Yeah, So it's interesting. So I didn't

433
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,919
Speaker 1: have like the kind of water break where that happens

434
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,920
Speaker 1: right before giving birth. It wasn't a gush. It wasn't

435
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:20,399
Speaker 1: a gus. It wasn't it was a leak exactly. So

436
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,200
Speaker 1: I had actually been leaking for a couple of hours,

437
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 1: which I didn't realize because you know, when you're pregnant,

438
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 1: you have all kinds of discharging. You know, what was

439
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:31,800
Speaker 1: BP couldn't discharged. We don't know what The fluids are

440
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 1: fucking weird and often so you're like, yeah, yeah, so, um,

441
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:41,119
Speaker 1: I've been leaking for a few hours. And then I

442
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 1: spoke to I mid when I spoke to the Jewelah,

443
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 1: and eventually we went to the hospital and that's when

444
00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 1: I found out that it was you know, the bag

445
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,640
Speaker 1: of waters had broken. And so what they did right

446
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:54,679
Speaker 1: away was give me um an antibiotic, which um that

447
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 1: was to like head off any infection because now you've

448
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:01,600
Speaker 1: got this exposure to your own organs but also to

449
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 1: the baby, and so the first thing they do is

450
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:07,880
Speaker 1: give you a whole bunch of antibiotics. But that also, interestingly,

451
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 1: and I don't totally understand how this works, but it

452
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:16,359
Speaker 1: also helps to um uh slow the labor process because

453
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 1: when the bag of water breaks, that's telling your body

454
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 1: it's time to deliver. This baby, and you don't want

455
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 1: to do that at twenty eight and a half weeks

456
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:27,159
Speaker 1: if you can avoid it, you know. So we didn't

457
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 1: want her to come that early. You know. I guess

458
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 1: once I realized we were going and she was going

459
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:34,640
Speaker 1: to come early no matter what, within I think, it's,

460
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 1: oh my god, am I gonna get this right up now?

461
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 1: Once your bag of water breaks, most women, I don't know,

462
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 1: fifty percent of women will get birth within that for

463
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:46,680
Speaker 1: seventy two hours. If you make it past that seventy

464
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,480
Speaker 1: two hours, the next fifty of that group of women

465
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:51,679
Speaker 1: will give birth within the next week. So that was

466
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:53,359
Speaker 1: the race, right. It's like to keep the babe in

467
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 1: first for the seventy two hours, okay. We checked that

468
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 1: box off, and then we made it to a week

469
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 1: and they were like, great, okay, now you should be

470
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 1: able to get to thirty two weeks. And at thirty

471
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:06,120
Speaker 1: two weeks we worry a lot less about a premium baby,

472
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,439
Speaker 1: and um, you'll be in good shape. So I may

473
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,520
Speaker 1: get past thirty two weeks and they're like, awesome, let's

474
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,479
Speaker 1: get to thirty four weeks. And at thirty four weeks

475
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,159
Speaker 1: we got to take the baby out because at this point,

476
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 1: you've had this rupture for so long that it's also

477
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,879
Speaker 1: telling your placenta that your placenta's job is done. The

478
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:29,160
Speaker 1: baby is not getting food anymore on nutrients on the inside.

479
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 1: Good lord, this is such a side exactly. The baby

480
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:34,120
Speaker 1: is not getting may not be getting what it needs

481
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 1: anymore after a certain point. And it's dangerous for you,

482
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 1: right because if you birth the placenta while the baby's

483
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 1: still in there, like, that's a whole dangerous situation, right,

484
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 1: And actually I'm not even totally sure if that was

485
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 1: the exact that boy I just described it was the

486
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 1: exact risk, but like, you don't want to you don't

487
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 1: want people sent it to call it quits before the

488
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 1: baby comes out. And you had been on bed rest

489
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 1: in the hospital. Were you allowed to take walks in

490
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 1: the hallway? Were you eating where you postmating food? Was

491
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 1: your husband coming and spending the night here and there? Like?

492
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 1: What was I mean? Oh my god? Yeah? Well did

493
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 1: you sleep at all? Did you sleep like I did? I?

494
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 1: Did I slept? I listen, it was my third trimester.

495
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 1: We had postponed a lot of stuff that we were

496
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 1: supposed to get done during this pregnancy. Utill that time.

497
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 1: So I was busy, Okay, I was like three. You know,

498
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 1: we had a lot of stuff to do. We hadn't

499
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 1: found a pediatrician, you know, we we had we are

500
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 1: houses under construction, you know, we were like running a

501
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 1: construction project. That was just we I was very busy

502
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 1: in the hospital. But yes, I was not on UM

503
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 1: technical bedrest because I was allowed. I got up and

504
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 1: walked every day. They encouraged me to, in fact, and

505
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 1: and I was allowed a visitor a day outside UM.

506
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 1: And so I had that's nice. Oh my god. Yes,

507
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 1: my good friend, my dear, dear wonderful friend, Milton, Dr

508
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 1: Milton Little, He came to visit me almost every single

509
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 1: day because he was you know, he was in the

510
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,200
Speaker 1: hospital and he would just come and talk to me,

511
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,479
Speaker 1: and we just it was like and and of course

512
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: my incredible husband spent every single night on a cot

513
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 1: and he was working, he was directing. I see why

514
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 1: you picked him for so many reasons. I see why

515
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 1: you picked this and why he's We were in it together.

516
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 1: We made sure to be um. You know that neither

517
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 1: of us were going through that experience alone. It was

518
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 1: scary for both of us, right and so he would

519
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 1: work during the day, go home and open the mail

520
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 1: and open the packages and let the dog out, you know,

521
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 1: after work, and then come and and get Most days

522
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,719
Speaker 1: he was able to get there in time for Postmates

523
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 1: for dinner. And you know, in the beginning, the US

524
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 1: Open tennis was on, so we would enjoy. We just

525
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 1: we just settled in to a new normal of this

526
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 1: weird you know, hospital life. And and he spent literally

527
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 1: every single night in the hospital. Yeah, wow, what a gem.

528
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 1: So you make it to thirty four weeks and the

529
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:18,959
Speaker 1: doctor says, we made it to thirty three and three,

530
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 1: which is different than thirty four. And then what happens?

531
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 1: How does labor go down? Um? So I started to

532
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 1: feel contractions and around I believe it was like two

533
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:37,479
Speaker 1: or to thirty in the morning. And every day they

534
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 1: were monitoring me and the baby. And I've been told like, oh,

535
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:42,720
Speaker 1: you're having contractions. Do you feel them? And I was like,

536
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:45,880
Speaker 1: I don't know them at all. And so finally when

537
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 1: I started to feel them, I was like, oh, I

538
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 1: should probably tell somebody about this. So I wait about

539
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 1: a half hour to see if they're coming consistently, and

540
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 1: sure enough, they were coming every five minutes. I woke

541
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 1: up Pete. We tracked them together for about another half

542
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 1: hour and then I called him the nurse, and I said, yeah,

543
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 1: I'm contracting consistently and it's been going on for about

544
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 1: an hour, and they put me on the monitor, which

545
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 1: I hated. I hated being on that monitor. I hated

546
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 1: that baby monitor. And uh and then um, the contractions

547
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 1: kind of went away. By six am, I was back to,

548
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 1: you know, just regular hospital living. And but the team

549
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 1: of doctors had decided they were like, yeah, this is

550
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 1: that's a sign. You know, we we got to get

551
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:33,480
Speaker 1: this baby out. Um, we don't want to run the

552
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 1: risk of being an emergency situation, and so we decided

553
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 1: to induce that day. And it all happened really really fast. Um,

554
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 1: the decision was made really quickly, and suddenly I was

555
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 1: packing up the room I've been living in for six

556
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 1: weeks and waiting for my husband to wrap shooting so

557
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 1: that we could move over into labor and delivery. And UM,

558
00:32:56,720 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 1: we induced by potosa in, which was like, oh, I

559
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 1: didn't want to do potosan And you know, I don't

560
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:11,240
Speaker 1: want to prejudice anybody. There's there's nothing inherently necessarily bad,

561
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: especially in a situation like mine about using potosa. But

562
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:16,880
Speaker 1: I just you know, I didn't want it. I just

563
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 1: know you have your triggers, you know, like you know

564
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 1: in your gut, like what you want there. It doesn't

565
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:23,760
Speaker 1: have to there doesn't have to be a reason for it, yours,

566
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: Like I really don't want to do that, and you did.

567
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't, and so you know, like I

568
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 1: had a total breakdown. Actually I had a little baby

569
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 1: tantrum and I was like, it's always gonna be yeah,

570
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 1: I mean it wasn't the first either. Let me tell

571
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 1: you something. After all that time and the hospital, it was,

572
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 1: I guess the last that I had before the baby came.

573
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 1: And and it took exactly twenty four maybe twenty five

574
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 1: hours to actually start active labor after that. And I

575
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 1: was so upset the whole time because I thought, we're

576
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:08,279
Speaker 1: inducing and the baby is not ready. Nothing's happening, the

577
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:11,720
Speaker 1: baby's not ready. Let's just go back to the maternal

578
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 1: fetal care unit and and let the baby cook a

579
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 1: little longer. She doesn't want to calm, stop, stop the

580
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 1: induction stop. And then finally at an hour, the real

581
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:28,960
Speaker 1: contraction starting and it was back labor, of course, because

582
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:32,799
Speaker 1: you know it couldn't be easy for those listening. Back

583
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 1: labor basically means she's all the pressure is going to

584
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:39,760
Speaker 1: your lower back, and the way that her position is

585
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:43,719
Speaker 1: is real painful, real bad, real bad. It was. It

586
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 1: was awful. So did you have an epidural? So I

587
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,959
Speaker 1: I endured back labor for about eight hours, and then

588
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 1: I had an epidural and I passed out for four hours.

589
00:34:57,520 --> 00:34:59,760
Speaker 1: I was asleep while that the rest of my labor

590
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:02,640
Speaker 1: took place. And they woke me up and said, you

591
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:07,440
Speaker 1: should you know, it's almost time to start pushing. And

592
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 1: you know, they gave me time to get my wits

593
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,359
Speaker 1: about me, and they gave me in Pete some time

594
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 1: alone and we had like a lovely tender moment before

595
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:21,000
Speaker 1: the baby came, and uh, you know, to ourselves to

596
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:27,239
Speaker 1: acknowledge the giant nous of the moment and at the

597
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 1: end of that like harrowing journey and and we were

598
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 1: almost there and then we came. And I pushed for

599
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:39,719
Speaker 1: about forty five minutes only um and out she came.

600
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:43,840
Speaker 1: She was in pretty good shape, but she was early,

601
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,280
Speaker 1: so she did she did have to go to the

602
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 1: Nike You right, away. Um, I mean I got to

603
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 1: help hold her for a bit first, right after she

604
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:54,560
Speaker 1: was cleaned off, but because her lungs were just a

605
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:58,480
Speaker 1: little not not quite how long was it to go

606
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 1: in the nick you thirty three days? Oh yeah, my god,

607
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 1: that is so much longer than I was expecting you

608
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 1: to say. You know, I think people were trying to

609
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:20,560
Speaker 1: like not inspire a sense of dread and foreboding in me.

610
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 1: But while I was in the maternal fetal care unit,

611
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:26,800
Speaker 1: everyone said like, oh, she gets to thirty four weeks,

612
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:28,840
Speaker 1: Like she could be out, you know, she could be

613
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: out of the nikkio within a few days, maybe a

614
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 1: couple of weeks, probably a couple of weeks, you know.

615
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,960
Speaker 1: And so every day that took by. After two weeks,

616
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,799
Speaker 1: I was like, what the hell, Like, when can I

617
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 1: take my baby home? And um, she needed to learn

618
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:47,240
Speaker 1: how to eat, right like she she came so early

619
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,640
Speaker 1: that her lungs weren't She didn't have the stamina to

620
00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 1: do the suck, swallow, breathe reflex um long enough to

621
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 1: get a full feeding. So like, your baby's gotta you

622
00:36:57,520 --> 00:36:59,840
Speaker 1: gotta be able to take a baby home and feed it,

623
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 1: otherwise you're gonna have some real problems. So that's what

624
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:05,840
Speaker 1: we were sort of still in the Nicke for. But

625
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 1: I started to have the sense of, like, maybe she

626
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 1: would be doing better at home, and and am I

627
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 1: doing the right thing? Are we doing the right thing

628
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 1: by by keeping her here? And they're the goal for them,

629
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 1: bless their hearts, you know, they know what they're doing, absolutely,

630
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,959
Speaker 1: but their goal is to get that baby to eat

631
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 1: by bottle. And it was very important to me of

632
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 1: all of the things that I had given up, you know,

633
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 1: all the plans they've given up, And yeah, I wanted

634
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 1: to breastfeed, and and we when we made our attempts,

635
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:39,799
Speaker 1: we could. And but in order to get her out

636
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,680
Speaker 1: of the Nike, their main concern was that she eat

637
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,799
Speaker 1: by bottle, but being fed by by the nurses there.

638
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 1: And I was, you know, very insistent that Pete and

639
00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:52,120
Speaker 1: I be involved as many feedings as possible, either by

640
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:56,879
Speaker 1: doing the feeding ourselves or breastfeeding, because we didn't just

641
00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 1: want to take them a baby that could like hit

642
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 1: all the the check boxes and hit all the markers

643
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,400
Speaker 1: of of getting out of the nik but that like

644
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 1: was bonded to it us and had adjustment into the

645
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 1: life they were going to have you know, she was

646
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:13,600
Speaker 1: going to have when we took her home, and and

647
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,480
Speaker 1: and so then I started to feel like, oh my god,

648
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 1: are my interventions getting in the way of her getting

649
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:20,399
Speaker 1: out of here. We're supposed to be out of here

650
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:25,800
Speaker 1: at two weeks. It was just a total mind fuck,

651
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:29,840
Speaker 1: total mind fuck. And You're like, I want a breastfeed

652
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 1: and get the skin to skin connection because that's going

653
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 1: to heal her, and my breast milk is going to

654
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:35,880
Speaker 1: heal her. But then you're like, funk. But then like,

655
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 1: she obviously needs the calories and the the stamina to eat,

656
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 1: which they are helping her with here. So like it's

657
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:49,760
Speaker 1: this delicate dance of well, obviously you nailed it because

658
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 1: she's six months old and she's healthy and thriving, and

659
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:59,439
Speaker 1: so whatever ended up, it worked out working get her out.

660
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 1: But look, what's so fucking crazy about this mind funck

661
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:06,440
Speaker 1: of motherhood is that it really makes you in the

662
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 1: present moment. And so whatever hurdles you were dealing with

663
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:14,280
Speaker 1: six months ago aren't the hurdles you're dealing with today.

664
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:17,400
Speaker 1: And so I can't Yeah, you can't even that's what

665
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 1: I mean. And at that time, they're the biggest, most

666
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:25,839
Speaker 1: so fucking so acute, and then you get to this

667
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 1: one and it's like, you know, you're facing whatever in

668
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 1: these things are today, which won't be what they are

669
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,400
Speaker 1: in a month from now. What did it feel like

670
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:40,479
Speaker 1: when you finally brought her home? I mean, I'm gonna

671
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:44,240
Speaker 1: get emotional about it now, but I was just so relieved.

672
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 1: We're so relieved that our deal was over. And you know,

673
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:54,759
Speaker 1: the nick you experience in some ways was really UM

674
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 1: gave us kind of a soft place to land as parents.

675
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 1: You know, we we went home at night and slept

676
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,359
Speaker 1: in our beds, which I hadn't done for six weeks. Right,

677
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 1: So like and if I we had brought the baby

678
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:09,920
Speaker 1: right home, it wouldn't have been like that. You know,

679
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:16,440
Speaker 1: somebody else, somebody with incredible expertise, UM, was taking care

680
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:19,600
Speaker 1: of my baby so that I could sleep at night. UM,

681
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 1: and actually I couldn't take care of her during that

682
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 1: time anyway. And rest and restore your body which had

683
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:29,399
Speaker 1: been through major trauma in that you were on bed

684
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 1: rest and you were in a hospital for six weeks

685
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 1: throwing up a lot before It's like, okay, you did it.

686
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:38,839
Speaker 1: You carried this baby as long as your body could

687
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:40,880
Speaker 1: do it, and then you went home and you rested,

688
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 1: so that thirty three days later when she would need

689
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:46,960
Speaker 1: you around the clock, you were probably in a better

690
00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:52,160
Speaker 1: physical state. Yeah. Well, I mean, look it, I was

691
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 1: sleeping at home, but we weren't getting a ton of

692
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:55,799
Speaker 1: rest because I was I was first of all, waking

693
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,120
Speaker 1: up and pumping in the middle of the night. You know.

694
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:01,400
Speaker 1: Pete was working a little bit at a time, and

695
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:03,960
Speaker 1: and I was at the hospital every single day, all

696
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 1: day long for as many hours as I possibly could

697
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 1: be before I would go home and go to bed

698
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 1: and clean out my pump parks and everything. And so

699
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:12,919
Speaker 1: I just see you, I see you, I see you

700
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:15,320
Speaker 1: in this time. I can like see you and I

701
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:19,080
Speaker 1: are so similar in this like you're like I can

702
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:22,799
Speaker 1: imagine you because you're such You're so on it and

703
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:27,040
Speaker 1: you're so just if there is something to be done,

704
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: you are going to fucking do it. And I'm sure

705
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 1: that you were just right. Yeah, no, it was. Yeah,

706
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 1: we were. We were there all day, every day, and

707
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 1: so that was like exhausting. But at the same time

708
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:44,600
Speaker 1: we've learned so much. People I don't know anything about infants,

709
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 1: like near fus knew anything about infants, so like all

710
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 1: that stuff that like you leave the hospital with maybe

711
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:53,000
Speaker 1: like a pamphlet about and maybe you've read a book

712
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 1: and have decided how you want to do things, but

713
00:41:55,040 --> 00:42:00,360
Speaker 1: like the moment to moment work of keeping a baby live.

714
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:04,920
Speaker 1: We watched professionals do for thirty three days, and and

715
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,800
Speaker 1: so when we brought her home, we were actually really confident,

716
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 1: you know. And and I think we didn't worry about

717
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 1: things like that a lot of parents worry about, you know, like,

718
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,279
Speaker 1: oh my god, is she breathing? I was like, I can,

719
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 1: I can see that. She's like, I know what it

720
00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 1: looks like when she's breathing you, and it looks like

721
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 1: when she's in distress of any kind, you know. I

722
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 1: just I think that we were pretty um confident and

723
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 1: relatively relaxed at how we we would have been. Let

724
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:30,480
Speaker 1: me not compare to anybody else. I think I would

725
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:33,239
Speaker 1: have gotten her home under their circumstances. I'm like, oh

726
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:38,319
Speaker 1: my god, what now? But I definitely, um, you know,

727
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 1: we were like, great, she's home, let's do this. We

728
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,359
Speaker 1: know what to do, we know what we want to do.

729
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 1: Holidays are coming up, you know, let's let's enjoy life,

730
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 1: family life. Finally, finally, I my god, applaud you, Kelly mccrew.

731
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:59,720
Speaker 1: I applaud you for this journey. This I mean, my god,

732
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:06,279
Speaker 1: this is all like just such warrior mom medals through

733
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:08,719
Speaker 1: and through and your husband too. Well. First, I just

734
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 1: want to say, like, the reason that I wanted to

735
00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 1: share that story and in detail, um, it was because

736
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 1: once we were in the hospital, people started coming out

737
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:20,959
Speaker 1: of the woodwork. People in our lives are like, oh yeah,

738
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:23,080
Speaker 1: oh yeah, maybe became really oh yeah, I was on

739
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:29,440
Speaker 1: bed rest. And these are really difficult experiences. They're frightening,

740
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 1: their painful, They're like they mess with your head and

741
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:39,359
Speaker 1: all of your expectations, and and they're so common, they're

742
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 1: so common, and we kind of just take it as

743
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:45,320
Speaker 1: a given because yeah, like childbirth is common. People with

744
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 1: kids all over play like obviously we've been doing it

745
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:52,880
Speaker 1: since time immemorial, having children, but it is still a

746
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:55,960
Speaker 1: big deal. You're on the brink there, like you're in

747
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 1: a life and death situation for yourself and your child,

748
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,080
Speaker 1: and we just take it like it no big deal

749
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:05,839
Speaker 1: all the time. And I I think that there's like

750
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,759
Speaker 1: some normalization that should go on with like because I

751
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:11,759
Speaker 1: think a lot of women also feel shame about not

752
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 1: caring to term, you know, or feel guilt about things

753
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:18,720
Speaker 1: that they did in their pregnancy that might have caused

754
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 1: that to happen, or you know, it is very common.

755
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:27,000
Speaker 1: I mean, oh my god. I mean, your story is remarkable,

756
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:30,120
Speaker 1: but you're right in that there are a lot of

757
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:33,360
Speaker 1: women who give birth to premise. There's a lot of

758
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:36,200
Speaker 1: women who are on bedrest in hospitals, were at home.

759
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:39,399
Speaker 1: It's like, and then you never hear about it again.

760
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 1: It's so fucking weird. No, it's crazy. Like we found

761
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 1: out about friends of ours whose baby was in nicky

762
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 1: baby came out like twenty four weeks, and we're like,

763
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 1: what that little baby, that little you know, rambunctious kid. Wow,

764
00:44:56,320 --> 00:45:00,799
Speaker 1: we had no idea that you went through the terrifying,

765
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 1: harrowing journey of a nick you experience. And it's like, obviously,

766
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:05,919
Speaker 1: you know, it's way in the past, and your kids

767
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:08,480
Speaker 1: healthy and thriving and maybe something you want to think

768
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 1: about her talk about all the time, but like, gosh,

769
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 1: I really hope you had to support that you needed

770
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:15,759
Speaker 1: during that time, and and you know, I hope somebody

771
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 1: fucking patted you on the back to say, like you

772
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:20,800
Speaker 1: said to me just now, Katie, you know, but that

773
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:22,960
Speaker 1: that means something to me, like, wow, you and your

774
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:25,319
Speaker 1: husband did that, And I was like, yeah, I was

775
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:28,279
Speaker 1: looking hard, really fucking scary, and it takes time to

776
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:32,399
Speaker 1: recover from a trauma like that, you know. Um, And yes,

777
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 1: I have all of the resources I could possibly need,

778
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,960
Speaker 1: and so many people don't. I really was excited to

779
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,320
Speaker 1: have you on specifically, I mean, for so many reasons.

780
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 1: But um, I do think such a huge point of

781
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 1: this particular episode and having you on is normalizing your

782
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 1: experience for women who are on bed rest, for women

783
00:45:56,760 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 1: who don't carry to term, for women who you know,

784
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:04,839
Speaker 1: have um that water breaks really early. I mean, this

785
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:07,640
Speaker 1: is like a thing, guys, This is like a total thing,

786
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:09,319
Speaker 1: and it is not talked about. I mean, I don't

787
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:11,280
Speaker 1: think we've ever talked about it on all the episodes

788
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:15,359
Speaker 1: we've done of Katie's criminal So thank you for being now,

789
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:18,799
Speaker 1: thank you for being I mean, people Mabe have had

790
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:21,440
Speaker 1: like yeah, but it just it hasn't been the focus

791
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:23,720
Speaker 1: of an episode. So thank you so much for being

792
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:33,840
Speaker 1: our um gateway. And you're hearing you did it, you

793
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:48,959
Speaker 1: fucking did you. Guys have her name pre planned. Did

794
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 1: you have an idea? Did you meet her and know

795
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 1: it was her name? Did you tell me that that

796
00:46:55,960 --> 00:47:02,880
Speaker 1: so her name? Um? Okay, we had to priorities, and

797
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:07,080
Speaker 1: I'll let you guess whose priority was, you know, which

798
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:10,240
Speaker 1: of us for whom which of these things are party?

799
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:13,520
Speaker 1: But like one of them was that we wanted it

800
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 1: to sound cool. We wanted it to sound like something

801
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:23,320
Speaker 1: that you know, she would like saying, like being called

802
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:27,160
Speaker 1: you know when the teacher read out her name, you

803
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:31,480
Speaker 1: know they she wouldn't feel embarrassed. Um. And the other

804
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:34,239
Speaker 1: thing was that I needed to have some meaning, you know,

805
00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:37,839
Speaker 1: whether it was a family name or you know, a

806
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:41,759
Speaker 1: word or a person from history who we admire. That

807
00:47:42,239 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 1: was could sort of be like a not inform who

808
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 1: she is, because we don't know who she's going to be.

809
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:50,960
Speaker 1: But it's the thing you're going to hear the most, right,

810
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 1: Let it have some meaning to you that like that

811
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:57,120
Speaker 1: resonates on on a deeper level. Right, it resonates through

812
00:47:57,120 --> 00:48:00,799
Speaker 1: your ancestry, or resonates through your you know, conscious, through

813
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 1: your third eye, something like that. So we found this

814
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 1: this word indigo, which we decided would be a cool

815
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:11,360
Speaker 1: sounding name. But also has the color and the the

816
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:15,239
Speaker 1: energy of indigo has so many really great properties, like

817
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:18,400
Speaker 1: it's a the color is used to sort of open

818
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:26,959
Speaker 1: up the third eye. It's a color like deep favorite color. Oh,

819
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:29,040
Speaker 1: you asked him any day of the week, what's your

820
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:33,640
Speaker 1: favorite color? Indigo? No way? Oh my god, I'm surprised

821
00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:36,560
Speaker 1: he even knows what the color is. Pepper Pig has

822
00:48:36,640 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 1: a and he and he hasn't watched pepper Pig for years,

823
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:42,359
Speaker 1: but when Indy's into it, Pepper Pig has a song

824
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:46,000
Speaker 1: about all the colors of the rainbow, and indigo was

825
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 1: the color that he didn't know what that meant, and

826
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:52,480
Speaker 1: so I showed him which one was indigo in the rainbow,

827
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,319
Speaker 1: and since then he's been sold. Oh my god, that's

828
00:48:55,320 --> 00:49:00,560
Speaker 1: so cool. So speaking of that, I kind of, um,

829
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:03,239
Speaker 1: I remembered after we decided, like, oh, Indigo, that's kind

830
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 1: of a cool name. And Wren is kind of a

831
00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:09,239
Speaker 1: play on um one of Pete's names. His first name,

832
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:12,920
Speaker 1: so which is Warren. So uh, we kind of made

833
00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 1: it like so she just in case we don't have

834
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,799
Speaker 1: any other kids. He's we still passed on part of

835
00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:24,120
Speaker 1: his family name into into her name. Yeah. Um, plus

836
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:25,880
Speaker 1: it's a bird, and you know, birds are free and

837
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:28,040
Speaker 1: they fly, and that's a cool like kind of thing

838
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:32,319
Speaker 1: to assigned to her and let her be inspired by

839
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:36,120
Speaker 1: as she so chooses throughout her life too. So yeah,

840
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:38,440
Speaker 1: So the other thing about Indigo was that I remembered

841
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:40,839
Speaker 1: after we had chosen that name about this book. My

842
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:45,480
Speaker 1: dad was is very into um. Spirituality has been my

843
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:47,560
Speaker 1: whole life, and he used to take me to this

844
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:51,319
Speaker 1: mystical this mystic bookstore, and I picked out this book

845
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:54,240
Speaker 1: once called The Missing Magical Energy, and it was about

846
00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:59,960
Speaker 1: all of these crystals, uh that unite there, the colors

847
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 1: spectrum unites to like heal planet Earth, right, all we

848
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:07,880
Speaker 1: need all of the the energies of the Earth and

849
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:10,200
Speaker 1: the wind and the fire and the rain and then

850
00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:14,080
Speaker 1: you know, all of these powers that that these colors

851
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:18,800
Speaker 1: and crystals represent, and Indigo was the missing magical energy.

852
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:22,440
Speaker 1: And only once they were rejoined by Indigo, could they,

853
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:25,400
Speaker 1: you know, have work in full force to heal the

854
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:33,600
Speaker 1: planet Um in this children's book, come, I fucking love it. Yeah,

855
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:38,879
Speaker 1: all right, Kelly, this has been so moving. I'm like,

856
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:43,279
Speaker 1: You've always been such a grounded artist to me and

857
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:47,240
Speaker 1: such a grounded person I just really feel your feet

858
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:50,200
Speaker 1: under you, and my God, like I just think that

859
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:53,480
Speaker 1: that is translated. It's one of your superpowers. And it's

860
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 1: just really it translates so well into motherhood. I mean

861
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:03,480
Speaker 1: it really, you just seem so like this is I

862
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:07,279
Speaker 1: know it's this hasn't this hasn't been always for you,

863
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:11,640
Speaker 1: but my God, like it's such a fit. Um, since

864
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:14,320
Speaker 1: coming home. What has been the hardest part of parenting

865
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 1: so far for you? Guilt? Um, the guilt of like feeling,

866
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:28,640
Speaker 1: oh my god, everything makes me feel guilty Katie going

867
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:32,840
Speaker 1: to work, staying home, falling asleep, like feeling tired and

868
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:35,960
Speaker 1: not having a ton of energy for her, Um, you know,

869
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:38,880
Speaker 1: not having read that book so that I knew what

870
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:41,440
Speaker 1: to do right away when she showed signs of being

871
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 1: interested in food. Like everything, I'm just prone to guilt

872
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:48,160
Speaker 1: and a shame in the first place, so like just

873
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:50,399
Speaker 1: everything is like a trigger for like, oh I should

874
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:52,040
Speaker 1: have done this differently, or oh I should have done

875
00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:56,400
Speaker 1: that differently, and ah, you know, so just it's the guilt. Well,

876
00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:59,800
Speaker 1: the great thing is you'll get so many fucking opportunities

877
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:05,120
Speaker 1: to keep changing the narrative for yourself. Um, what have

878
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:09,320
Speaker 1: you been learning about Pete and your own parenting styles

879
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:12,560
Speaker 1: from raising Indie. Are you guys similar or you vastly different?

880
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 1: Thus far um, we're not vastly different. But I am like,

881
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 1: I am a researcher about this. I'm not about everything

882
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:25,280
Speaker 1: in life, but I I am a reason I wanted,

883
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 1: like read all the books about this. I feel like

884
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:31,960
Speaker 1: I need external expertise. Maybe that's the main distinction, is

885
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,879
Speaker 1: like I feel like I want the help, like having

886
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:37,200
Speaker 1: all of the information so I can weigh my options

887
00:52:37,239 --> 00:52:40,279
Speaker 1: and really make like uninformed choice about how I want

888
00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 1: to handle this thing or that thing or this thing.

889
00:52:42,239 --> 00:52:45,239
Speaker 1: And but really what that does is makes it really

890
00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:52,919
Speaker 1: hard to reading decisions. So Pete, it's very decisive. Director. Director, Well,

891
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:56,960
Speaker 1: you guys are a perfect fucking in the middle, and

892
00:52:57,080 --> 00:53:01,120
Speaker 1: what you guys bring is absolutely perfect. What has Indie?

893
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:03,760
Speaker 1: What is Indie like as a baby? Oh my god,

894
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:09,760
Speaker 1: she is so charming because she's a fucking libra. Yeah,

895
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:12,759
Speaker 1: she's a fucking libra, and so are you, and so

896
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:18,799
Speaker 1: is my son. Charming is a big component. Yeah, they

897
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:23,160
Speaker 1: are fucking charming. She's very social. She every time she

898
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:27,040
Speaker 1: meets somebody newer or you know, not new, the usual

899
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:30,279
Speaker 1: people coming over to the house, and she like kind

900
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:32,920
Speaker 1: of waits. It takes a second for them to register,

901
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:37,759
Speaker 1: and everybody gets a big old smile, and she's just like, hey,

902
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:41,320
Speaker 1: she's well, she's got a warmth and like a sense

903
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:44,239
Speaker 1: of like I don't canna have a great time like

904
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:48,719
Speaker 1: she is just she's delightful. She's a good she is

905
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:52,960
Speaker 1: a great hang. She's a great hang. And she doesn't

906
00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:56,319
Speaker 1: have any consonants yet, but when she does, I think

907
00:53:56,320 --> 00:54:00,720
Speaker 1: she's going to be a great storyteller. She is so

908
00:54:01,239 --> 00:54:06,279
Speaker 1: like she's very observant of how people um are reacting

909
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:08,520
Speaker 1: to her, you know, and she can turn it up

910
00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:10,479
Speaker 1: if you're having a good time. You know, we're having

911
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:12,279
Speaker 1: a good time. Yeah, let's keep going, you know what

912
00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:17,160
Speaker 1: I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's she's going to be

913
00:54:17,239 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 1: a good, good little storyteller. Are you able? Have you

914
00:54:21,719 --> 00:54:25,760
Speaker 1: been able to make time for each other? You impete

915
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:30,360
Speaker 1: um we have here and there we are both working

916
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:34,720
Speaker 1: a lot um on our jobs, and then the work

917
00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:40,040
Speaker 1: of the household is also a lot. Fortunately we have support,

918
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:46,200
Speaker 1: but it does become really difficult to um, yeah, to

919
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 1: carve out time. But we were doing it here and

920
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 1: there and we have, you know, some plans for the

921
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:56,279
Speaker 1: summer and we'll get there. I'm not worried about it yet,

922
00:54:56,320 --> 00:55:00,959
Speaker 1: you're h and you're fucking in it. I'm musics month old.

923
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:06,279
Speaker 1: They say, like, the first year is just really it's

924
00:55:06,280 --> 00:55:10,839
Speaker 1: a lot of adjusting and a lot of priority reorganizing

925
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 1: and identity shifting and things like that. So go easy

926
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 1: on yourselves for sure. Kelly. What advice do you have

927
00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:21,440
Speaker 1: now for other young professionals who are worried about achieving

928
00:55:21,520 --> 00:55:31,560
Speaker 1: career milestones before having a child. Oh, I would say,

929
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:39,359
Speaker 1: makeup plan. I would say, really like, do that five year,

930
00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:42,920
Speaker 1: ten year plan thing. And obviously, life happens and you

931
00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:46,200
Speaker 1: can't control everything, every single thing that happens. But I

932
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:48,600
Speaker 1: have some idea of where things are going to fall.

933
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:51,360
Speaker 1: I think I if I could do anything over again,

934
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:54,439
Speaker 1: I would sort of, you know, I'm very like, oh,

935
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:56,840
Speaker 1: just let it manifest and things will unfold, and just

936
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:58,600
Speaker 1: keep putting energy out there and put the work in

937
00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:01,000
Speaker 1: and things will unfold to say, as they will. And

938
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:03,839
Speaker 1: I still think that that's true. But I also think

939
00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:05,880
Speaker 1: that if if parenting is going to be part of

940
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 1: your life, look, I'm forty, my baby is six months old.

941
00:56:09,480 --> 00:56:13,799
Speaker 1: I'm like, if I had done this younger, it would

942
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:17,719
Speaker 1: have been easier. And I completely agree with you. I

943
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:22,719
Speaker 1: completely agree with you. Yeah, and uh, I also I

944
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:25,839
Speaker 1: know that I'm it also happened at the perfect time

945
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:29,040
Speaker 1: because I'm ready with resources in a way that I

946
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:31,680
Speaker 1: would not have been ten years ago. And this would

947
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:34,759
Speaker 1: have been much harder for me personally ten years ago

948
00:56:34,920 --> 00:56:37,040
Speaker 1: without those resources. And plenty of people do it with that,

949
00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:41,280
Speaker 1: but but just having it, like, really get real with yourself,

950
00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:44,240
Speaker 1: do whatever you need to do to get your self

951
00:56:44,239 --> 00:56:48,480
Speaker 1: awareness together, make a plan and see if you can

952
00:56:48,719 --> 00:56:57,840
Speaker 1: pull it off. Last question, parenthood is parenthood is? I

953
00:56:57,920 --> 00:57:07,400
Speaker 1: mean amazing true that Kelly McCreery. I'm so grateful for

954
00:57:07,440 --> 00:57:09,480
Speaker 1: you making the time with a six month old and

955
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:12,120
Speaker 1: you took so much time and care and energy and

956
00:57:12,239 --> 00:57:18,560
Speaker 1: you are such a fucking glorious mom, and we've got

957
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:20,919
Speaker 1: to have you back on Katie's crib. I'd be happy.

958
00:57:20,920 --> 00:57:23,160
Speaker 1: I hate to hear how it's going and teach me

959
00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:26,400
Speaker 1: all the ways and I have a lot to learn

960
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:29,840
Speaker 1: from you, and I'm so happy. I'm just so happy

961
00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:43,200
Speaker 1: for you. Thank you the best, Kelly, the best. Thank

962
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:45,400
Speaker 1: you guys, so much for listening to today's episode. I

963
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:49,880
Speaker 1: want to hear from you. Let's chat questions, comments, concerns.

964
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:52,520
Speaker 1: Let me know. You can always find me at Katie's

965
00:57:52,520 --> 00:57:57,960
Speaker 1: Crib at Shanda land dot com. Katie's Crib is a

966
00:57:57,960 --> 00:58:00,440
Speaker 1: production of Shonda Land Audio in partner ship with I

967
00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:03,560
Speaker 1: Heart Radio. For more podcasts from Shondaland Audio, visit the

968
00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:06,280
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen

969
00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 1: to your favorite shows. M