1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:11,480 Speaker 1: Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. There 2 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 1: is a question mark almost lost in a sea of 3 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:17,080 Speaker 1: names on the walls of an old synagogue in Prague. 4 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 1: Visitors hushed children as they passed through each chamber of 5 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:25,640 Speaker 1: the Pincus Memorial. It is hard not to be overwhelmed 6 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 1: by the dizzying display of black and red letters. They 7 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:34,159 Speaker 1: memorialize seventy seven thousand, two hundred and ninety seven individuals. 8 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,560 Speaker 1: Each was a resident of the Czech districts of Bohemia 9 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:41,559 Speaker 1: and Moravia during the war. All were victims of the Nazis. 10 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,840 Speaker 1: Next to every name is stenciled the date of birth, 11 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 1: and next to each state of birth neatly sits the 12 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:53,479 Speaker 1: date of death. One entry bears the name of my father, 13 00:00:54,280 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 1: Hannas Stanislav Norman, born on February nine one. It is different, 14 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:04,320 Speaker 1: unlike the others on the wall, it has no date 15 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 1: of death. Instead, carefully calligraphed, there's an incongruous and bald 16 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 1: black question mark. I visited the memorial in nineteen ninety 17 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: seven as a tourist, unaware of any link with the synagogue. 18 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:23,200 Speaker 1: Scanning across the top all to my right as I 19 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: descended the steps into the first chamber. I was astounded 20 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 1: to see my father's name. He was then very much alive, 21 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:36,200 Speaker 1: settled and working in Cadakas, and yet the bold question 22 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 1: mark was there, both jarring an oddly opposite. This was 23 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 1: the first time and I had seen the query inked 24 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:47,160 Speaker 1: on the wall. But questions about my father had emerged 25 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: long before my quest for answer started, when I was 26 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 1: just a little girl, living across an ocean and a 27 00:01:54,280 --> 00:02:00,080 Speaker 1: sea in a very different world. That's Ariana noym It, 28 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:03,840 Speaker 1: a writer and mother of three who currently lives with 29 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:09,640 Speaker 1: her family in London. Arianna's first book, When Time Stopped, 30 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:13,440 Speaker 1: a memoir of my father's war and What Remains is 31 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 1: just out, and it centers on an extraordinary secret held 32 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 1: tightly at the very core of her father's life, one 33 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 1: he never spoke of while he was living. Ariana, as 34 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:30,919 Speaker 1: the sole heir to a vanished world, painstakingly brings an 35 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 1: entire lost family to life. I'm Danny Shapiro, and this 36 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: is family secrets, the secrets that are kept from us, 37 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: the secrets we keep from others, and the secrets we 38 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 1: keep from ourselves. So I grew up in the Venezuela 39 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: of the seventies, and which is completely disintu course than 40 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 1: the Venezuelage day. It was then at place billed with 41 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 1: promise and with light. There were theaters being built, museums, schools, airports, roads. 42 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 1: It was really a place of potential. It was seen 43 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: as the capital of South America, really bustling and vibrates, 44 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 1: and of course the nature there is absolutely useful and 45 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:26,920 Speaker 1: in this at least wonderful surroundings in this wonderful country. 46 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:32,480 Speaker 1: Was my father, and she was involved in everything. He 47 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 1: had industries, he had newspapers, he was involved in museums, 48 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 1: he was setting up schools and had set up as 49 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 1: design institution at a university to study business. He was 50 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 1: involved in charity. So he was really vibrant, engaged person. 51 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:52,280 Speaker 1: And I lived in this beautiful house in the center 52 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:56,800 Speaker 1: of practice, with stunning gardens, and it was just a 53 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 1: plaise built with colors and joys, and you know, garms 54 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 1: were lush, and they were parents and slots, and it 55 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: was really a pretty magical place. Tell me more about 56 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 1: life with your parents, Maybe describe your mother a little 57 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 1: bit to me as well. She was quite an old father. 58 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 1: My mother was twenty years younger, and she was just 59 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:25,159 Speaker 1: stunningly beautiful um and she was also involved in the arts, 60 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:28,159 Speaker 1: and as I grew up, she was involved in anitary 61 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 1: of culture and started a ballet company. So, you know, 62 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:36,800 Speaker 1: my house was filled with interesting people, bill with politicians, 63 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:40,560 Speaker 1: with artists, with ballet dancers, and there was a constant 64 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 1: flock of you know, people of ideas. You just felt 65 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:48,720 Speaker 1: that you were in the center of it all. And 66 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 1: my parents were very much in love with each other, 67 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,200 Speaker 1: thanking people seemed to be just in love with them. 68 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:59,160 Speaker 1: People were just flowing into this house and surrounding them 69 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: all the time. My parents were quite social. They weren't 70 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 1: super involved in my upbringing in the ways that we're 71 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,360 Speaker 1: involved and children stop bringing now, so they want to 72 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,599 Speaker 1: sort of checking on my homework and taking me to 73 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 1: school and things like that. But I was very much 74 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,640 Speaker 1: part of their world and part of their you know, 75 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,680 Speaker 1: I just milled about these gardens and sat around with 76 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:22,359 Speaker 1: these people and attended the sort of brings parties that 77 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,039 Speaker 1: they gave, and you know, whatever they were in meetings, 78 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:28,200 Speaker 1: I just tapped there are my mother's lap and was 79 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 1: part of it. Really. Ariana was unfazed by her unusual 80 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:38,600 Speaker 1: and in many ways magical childhood. What she really wanted, 81 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,719 Speaker 1: what was most interesting to her, was to have a 82 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:45,960 Speaker 1: mystery to solve. She sort of took over the family's kennel. 83 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:50,240 Speaker 1: The Neuman's had really larger dogs, Great Danes and Rottweiler's, 84 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 1: so it was a big kennel and Arianna would sit 85 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,920 Speaker 1: in it on a crate, and she turned it into 86 00:05:55,920 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 1: a library of sorts. A favorite, unsurprisingly was Nancy Drew. 87 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 1: Arianna was an only child, quite isolated in many ways. 88 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,920 Speaker 1: I so relate to this, the dreamy only child who 89 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:13,919 Speaker 1: spends a lot of time reading and solving mysteries. She 90 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 1: even starts a detective club with a cousin and some friends, 91 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:22,440 Speaker 1: called the Mysterious Boot Club. Arianna, what do you think 92 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:25,240 Speaker 1: that was about? I was so taken by that in 93 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 1: your book, the idea that you wanted to be a 94 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 1: detective as a child, and that you created this mysterious 95 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 1: boot club. And of course hindsight is twenty twenty, but 96 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 1: what was the sense you had that there were mysteries 97 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 1: to be solved? I just thought, why wouldn't everyone want 98 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:47,479 Speaker 1: to solve mysteries? And what I realized now is that 99 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 1: I obviously spent that there was a mystery there that 100 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:55,719 Speaker 1: there were things that we're obviously not being told to me, 101 00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:59,279 Speaker 1: and my father really was at the center of this mystery. 102 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:03,479 Speaker 1: The Aldren Slash detectives, who were members of the Mysterious 103 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 1: Boot Club kept an eye on Ariana's father. He never 104 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 1: ever spoke about feelings. He was always talking about ideas 105 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 1: and concept and you know, sort of the puzzled or 106 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 1: he was repairing watches. He was absolutely obsessed by this 107 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 1: watch connection that he had. And it wasn't the normal 108 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:27,840 Speaker 1: sort of obsession with some triality and time that you know, 109 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 1: a successful man would have because he wants to maximize 110 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 1: his time in order to be more efficient. It was 111 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,120 Speaker 1: a real obsession and at the same time, I think 112 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 1: he found fullest there. I think there was a therapy 113 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 1: to it. But whenever he was with his watches, he 114 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:47,160 Speaker 1: would lock himself in a room and a room that 115 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: no one else had keys to and that was completely 116 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 1: dark and windowless, and he would just spend hours there, 117 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:57,560 Speaker 1: as far as I could tell, just observing mechanisms and 118 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:03,040 Speaker 1: making sure that these watches worked. He was absolutely mystordical 119 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,160 Speaker 1: and obsessed with orders. So if he looked at his 120 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:10,320 Speaker 1: record collection, you know, it was all aligned by category 121 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 1: of music by composers. They all had different little colors, 122 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,520 Speaker 1: and they all had to be absolutely perfect. He had 123 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 1: always quirks and all these obsessions. And then one of 124 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:24,320 Speaker 1: these afternoons, one of my cousins reported that he had 125 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 1: seen my father moved a books, and that my father 126 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 1: had moved a book from that room at the back 127 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,960 Speaker 1: of the house where he kept his watchers and when 128 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,760 Speaker 1: he repaired his watches, and that he had moved the 129 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,600 Speaker 1: box and then slightly all the manner. There was something 130 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,719 Speaker 1: peculiar about the way he carried the books, and he 131 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 1: carried it into this room, which was sort of the 132 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,200 Speaker 1: library in our house. And my cousin reported that, you know, 133 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,680 Speaker 1: there was obviously something precious in the books, and must 134 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:53,320 Speaker 1: be maybe it was the jeweled watches or something. I 135 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 1: waited for everyone to go, and I went and I 136 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: found this book, and when I opened it, I was 137 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,880 Speaker 1: quite a delusion. There was actually no treature, no to 138 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 1: old watching, which is some old papers. And one of 139 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 1: the old papers I found was terrifying because it was 140 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,160 Speaker 1: the photograph of my father as a young man, and 141 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:17,200 Speaker 1: I recognized it had be very distinct. I um so 142 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 1: I knew it was him, But right underneath this picture 143 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 1: of my father was the stamp of HIT there. And 144 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:28,280 Speaker 1: I was pretty young, but old enough to know that 145 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 1: he was obviously not a good guy. And then it 146 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:38,080 Speaker 1: was stated ninety three, It said er Lynn, and that 147 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:41,240 Speaker 1: made no sense because I knew my father actually was 148 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 1: a check immigrant and I knew that he had come 149 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:46,439 Speaker 1: from Proud And then the name was someone else's name. 150 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:52,560 Speaker 1: It wasn't Harns Moylan. That's obviously completely threw me. And 151 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,200 Speaker 1: what I did that afternoon is I ran to my 152 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 1: mother and I said, he's an impostor. And I think 153 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,679 Speaker 1: that is also a very telling because I don't think 154 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:03,079 Speaker 1: that my children found an ID card. When my husband's 155 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:06,000 Speaker 1: photograph that someone else's name, the reaction would not be 156 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 1: to say demands an impostor. So I think that speaks 157 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 1: to the fact that there was obviously some mystery there 158 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:14,720 Speaker 1: and that I was aware of it, but there was 159 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 1: something that my father was not telling me, possibly not 160 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 1: telling others. That was probably the first two. And when 161 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,120 Speaker 1: I saw that all these other moments, what the fund 162 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 1: became relevant to all these spilences or you know, there 163 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 1: were whenever he spoke to my father, Um, he was 164 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 1: incredibly engaged. But if you asked him about the past, 165 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,440 Speaker 1: if you asked him about par because you asked him 166 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:40,320 Speaker 1: about his family, there would be a time minute talk 167 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:43,040 Speaker 1: with silence, and then he had moved the conversation swiss 168 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:47,959 Speaker 1: ly on. He just absolutely was accused to speak about 169 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,960 Speaker 1: the past or about his family. And then there were 170 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,200 Speaker 1: the nightmare So when I was a child, just stept 171 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,559 Speaker 1: down the corridor from my parents, and there were punch 172 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,680 Speaker 1: of nights where I was just woken up by these 173 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:04,560 Speaker 1: horrific screams, and it was my father and my father 174 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 1: screaming in a language that I didn't understand, and I 175 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 1: just remember sort of waking up terrified and finding my 176 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 1: father covered and sweat and my mother trying to sort 177 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:19,760 Speaker 1: of call and dace. You know, that was obviously also unusual. 178 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 1: Why would a man who was so successful, so seemingly happy, 179 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:31,400 Speaker 1: so carefree, wake up screaming in the night. What did 180 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 1: your mother say when you first found the contents of 181 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:37,560 Speaker 1: the box and you found this strange document and said, 182 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:41,560 Speaker 1: Dad's an impostor? What was her response to that? My mother, 183 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:45,880 Speaker 1: she's very open and very soothing, and she's basically just said, 184 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,680 Speaker 1: don't worry too much about this. I'm not worried about it. 185 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 1: You shouldn't worry about it. And that was sort of 186 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:56,360 Speaker 1: general seeing whenever I asked. Having said that, I could 187 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,840 Speaker 1: have never asked my father outright, because that's very cute 188 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: time that I did. The response was just so overwhelmingly 189 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:12,600 Speaker 1: emotional and awful that I just couldn't. Ariana tuxs this 190 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:17,520 Speaker 1: information or non information away in that hidden place where 191 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 1: we put things we don't yet comprehend. She heads to 192 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: the States for college, and at Tufts University, she has 193 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:28,719 Speaker 1: approached on the first day of orientation for international students 194 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:32,280 Speaker 1: by a freshman from Mexico, a guy who actually delivers 195 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 1: the line, hey, we should meet up because we're both 196 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 1: good looking, we're both Latin American, and we're both Jewish, 197 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:43,600 Speaker 1: to which Ariana comes back with the perfect rejoinder, the 198 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:45,920 Speaker 1: kind of thing you usually think of after the fact. 199 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 1: She says, listen, you're not good looking and I'm not Jewish, 200 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 1: but the comment stays with her. It's the first time 201 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,800 Speaker 1: anyone has ever used the word Jewish in reference to Ariana. 202 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:02,600 Speaker 1: Venezuela was such a melting pot culture back then, that 203 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: the Neumans were surrounded by people of every religion and background, 204 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,960 Speaker 1: but no one was ever categorized in terms of their religion, 205 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:13,200 Speaker 1: not until Ariana's new friend decided to point it out, 206 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:18,120 Speaker 1: based simply on her surname, Neuman, a Jewish name. I 207 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 1: called my father a couple of days later, and I 208 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 1: called him up and I said that us Mexican kid 209 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 1: just came up to me and said I was Jewish 210 00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:32,679 Speaker 1: and he just on silent. Understand, man was constantly talking, 211 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:36,559 Speaker 1: and you know, he was more than animated, and silence 212 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:39,840 Speaker 1: was an unusual thing unless he was preparing his watches 213 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,560 Speaker 1: of writing or reading. He said, what do you mean 214 00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:45,640 Speaker 1: and I said, well, he said, we have Jewish blood. 215 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 1: And his voice started to shake and he said, please 216 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:54,120 Speaker 1: that you ever used that term with me. That is 217 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:56,400 Speaker 1: what the Nazis said about us. And he just took 218 00:13:56,400 --> 00:14:00,960 Speaker 1: the framed up. In your book, you write, there were 219 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 1: hints before peppered across my memories, were moments that jarred, 220 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 1: instances of disquiet. The cracks had been there all along, 221 00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:14,560 Speaker 1: you know. I think with family secrets, when we discover 222 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:20,400 Speaker 1: something is as important as what we discover when we're 223 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 1: ready or not ready to discover something can really alter 224 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,600 Speaker 1: and effect the way that we then contend with or 225 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 1: metabolize it. I think that's absolutely right, and I realized, 226 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 1: I mean, you have to be ready to do these 227 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:38,200 Speaker 1: things and to absorb. We'll be back in a moment 228 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:50,480 Speaker 1: with more family secrets. Ariana's first child, a son, has 229 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 1: just been born when her father dies after an extended 230 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:58,880 Speaker 1: illness in September of two. Never does Hans Neuman break 231 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 1: his silence about his past. There is no laden life 232 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:07,120 Speaker 1: unburdening to his only daughter. But what does happen is 233 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:11,160 Speaker 1: even more remarkable than a lifetime of silence. He leaves 234 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:16,360 Speaker 1: Ariana the box. Yes, the box, the very one she 235 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 1: snooped through once as founding member of the mysterious Boot Club. 236 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:25,600 Speaker 1: She hasn't seen it since, and now the box and 237 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:30,240 Speaker 1: the history it will yield is hers. In death, Hans 238 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 1: is giving Ariana permission, no more than permission. This is 239 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 1: an exportation to piece together and investigate their lost family history. 240 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:44,360 Speaker 1: But she isn't ready. How can she be. She's just 241 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:48,440 Speaker 1: embarked on the most optimistic adventure of building her own family. 242 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:53,280 Speaker 1: As you know, when you start a wonderful relationship with 243 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:57,200 Speaker 1: someone and you decide to children into this world. You 244 00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,520 Speaker 1: have to be in a particular frame of mind. You're 245 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,080 Speaker 1: happy with your present who are looking into the future 246 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:06,640 Speaker 1: with excitement. So to turn around and and delve into 247 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 1: a path which I then thought was going to be 248 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:12,600 Speaker 1: just filled with horror and darkness. I just thought I 249 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,840 Speaker 1: couldn't handle. I just couldn't read the letters and then 250 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,200 Speaker 1: go back and you know, read fairy tales for my 251 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:21,360 Speaker 1: children at night, and do the voices for the very 252 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:25,680 Speaker 1: hungry chime press. It wasn't compatible. So it wasn't until 253 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 1: they grew up a little bit more, you know, I 254 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,360 Speaker 1: did little by little why it had the letters translated, 255 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,240 Speaker 1: and every so often, you know, when sort of the 256 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,440 Speaker 1: kids were at school and nursery and my husband was 257 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,240 Speaker 1: at work, and I just felt brave, I would dip 258 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:43,520 Speaker 1: into one of the letters. Arianna keeps the box in 259 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:47,600 Speaker 1: an antique contraption that looks like three wooden steps, like 260 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 1: the beginning of a staircase to nowhere. The contraption is 261 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 1: in her office where she writes, but inside there's a 262 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:58,200 Speaker 1: hidden compartment. The steps lift and the lid lifts up, 263 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:02,280 Speaker 1: and no one would ever know. In fact, you yourself 264 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:06,760 Speaker 1: could forget that anything was hidden away. There. Years go by, 265 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:11,000 Speaker 1: during which Mariana has two more children. Eventually she feels 266 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:14,280 Speaker 1: ready to tackle the contents of the box. Inside the steps, 267 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:19,320 Speaker 1: she begins to research send material for transcription from Check 268 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:23,480 Speaker 1: into English, and slowly, as she's able to gather more 269 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 1: and more information, she begins to piece together a portrait 270 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:31,080 Speaker 1: of the lives of a large extended family in Czechoslovakia 271 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:35,280 Speaker 1: in the late nineteen thirties. The family owned a paint 272 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:39,199 Speaker 1: and lacquer business called Montana, with factories in Prague and 273 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:45,119 Speaker 1: in southeastern Czechoslovakia. They were a middle class Jewish family, assimilated, 274 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:52,880 Speaker 1: not particularly religious, so discovered to the letters was just huge, vibrant, happy, 275 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,560 Speaker 1: well happy trying to survive in what was a world 276 00:17:56,640 --> 00:18:01,119 Speaker 1: that was becoming more anti Semitic. Baby, there were postcards 277 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:04,520 Speaker 1: as my grandparents in the trance in nineteen thirty six 278 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:09,040 Speaker 1: and my grandfather in a bathing so smiling. It's remarkable 279 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 1: to me that they could still find moments of drawings. 280 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,719 Speaker 1: And it's because in nineteen thirty six, certainly in Prague 281 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:18,600 Speaker 1: and most definitely in Germany, you know, Jews did not 282 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,800 Speaker 1: feel sick, and a lot of them had already started permegrated. 283 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,439 Speaker 1: They were very much part of the Jewish community, and 284 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:27,359 Speaker 1: they also have funds who were in Jewish and you know, 285 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:32,199 Speaker 1: they managed to solder on until It's remarkable to me 286 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:36,240 Speaker 1: because someone said, why did they not rebel? Why did 287 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,320 Speaker 1: your father not rebel? Why did they not rebel against it? 288 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:43,960 Speaker 1: And because it's very difficult to rebel against these blue laws, 289 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:47,760 Speaker 1: which are so minute. It's the aggregation of all of them, 290 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,680 Speaker 1: and it's sort of how bullies and futilitarian regimes work. 291 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:55,360 Speaker 1: It's just that gradual de humanization. So it's very interesting 292 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:59,119 Speaker 1: for me to have these letters which span from actually 293 00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:04,440 Speaker 1: the twenties through the thirties up until nineteen two well 294 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,680 Speaker 1: and then the once from the camps until nine, because 295 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:12,320 Speaker 1: you really see how effectively my family was to humanized. 296 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,359 Speaker 1: Well I say that, and at the same time, I 297 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,800 Speaker 1: don't think that's really accurate, because they weren't humanized and 298 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:24,120 Speaker 1: yet managed to find humanity in even in the concentration 299 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,919 Speaker 1: camp and moments of joy and moments of happiness and 300 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:31,280 Speaker 1: moments of just being human. But they were certainly humanized 301 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,680 Speaker 1: in the eyes of the others. So it was basically 302 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:39,680 Speaker 1: my father, his older brother. My grandfather, and my grandmother 303 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:44,040 Speaker 1: and my father turned eighteen in nineteen nine, the year 304 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:49,359 Speaker 1: that had Ger invaded Chechoslovakia, and his older brother was 305 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:54,000 Speaker 1: three years older. His older brother was married to a 306 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 1: woman who was a gentile, so she was thought Jewish, 307 00:19:57,359 --> 00:20:02,399 Speaker 1: and that protected him from being transported. My grandparents and 308 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 1: my father were not protected by anything and um in 309 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:10,960 Speaker 1: ninety two. In May nineteen forty two, transport letter arived 310 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,679 Speaker 1: saying that they all had to report to put me 311 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:17,879 Speaker 1: into the transtations and be transported to rising Stuff. My 312 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,600 Speaker 1: grandfather started pulling every possible string that could and trying 313 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,639 Speaker 1: to find every excuse like he could so that they 314 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,760 Speaker 1: wouldn't be transported, and they were successful in as far 315 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:30,880 Speaker 1: as they managed to stays my grandfather and my father 316 00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:35,480 Speaker 1: from the transport. From that transport, so my grandmother was 317 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:38,359 Speaker 1: spent alone. She was sent alone with two of her brothers. 318 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:43,000 Speaker 1: My grandfather is then deported in November forty two. They're 319 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:47,719 Speaker 1: both spending letters out saying we're okay, don't worry about us, 320 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 1: but whatever you do, don't get spent here. You know, 321 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:54,960 Speaker 1: do whatever you can, he says, but don't come here. 322 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 1: So my father gets a deportation that are in marsh 323 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:04,920 Speaker 1: Warty three, and by then there's there's no way that 324 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:09,359 Speaker 1: he's going to save from this. MHM justifies to hide. 325 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,359 Speaker 1: With the help of the manager of the paint factory, 326 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,640 Speaker 1: his brother, and his brother's wife, who is a non Jew, 327 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:20,560 Speaker 1: Hans is hidden in the paint factory. They build a 328 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:24,480 Speaker 1: fake wall and create a tiny little room. He's hidden 329 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,960 Speaker 1: there during the day when the paint factory is in business, 330 00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:32,440 Speaker 1: and for two months, Ariana's father remains very still aware 331 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,840 Speaker 1: always that he's in danger. He's on the Gestapo's wanted list, 332 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,200 Speaker 1: and one of the places the Gestapo would undoubtedly come 333 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:45,360 Speaker 1: looking for him is in his family's factory. Luckily, amazingly, 334 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,960 Speaker 1: the Gestapo don't show up. Hans has just finished a 335 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,760 Speaker 1: degree in chemistry school and he has a best friend 336 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:55,560 Speaker 1: called Fene Fenek isn't Jewish and he works for the 337 00:21:55,600 --> 00:22:00,320 Speaker 1: Nazis in Berlin at a paint factory. So after has 338 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,040 Speaker 1: been hiding for a couple of months, Fenic comes to 339 00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:06,159 Speaker 1: him one night and says, just in passing, oh, we 340 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:09,760 Speaker 1: have so much work in Berlin, were so understaffed and 341 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,120 Speaker 1: there's no one capable in Berlin. To do this job, 342 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,000 Speaker 1: and Phoenix says, if only you could be there with me, 343 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 1: and you know, it's one of those sort of Drinka 344 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:25,600 Speaker 1: moments where my father just says, that's it, that's what 345 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,480 Speaker 1: I have to do. And I traced senex Son, who 346 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,960 Speaker 1: told me this beautiful story about how they were sitting 347 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:36,280 Speaker 1: there and you know, with one candle licked in this 348 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,680 Speaker 1: little room because they didn't want to alert the neighbors 349 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,280 Speaker 1: to their presence. And there's a check saying that says 350 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:45,640 Speaker 1: the darkest shadow, it's just beneath the candle. So if 351 00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:49,679 Speaker 1: you want to hide, you don't hide around the candle 352 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:55,000 Speaker 1: were the light well piece you off. You hide in 353 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,200 Speaker 1: the center of it all, where no one is going 354 00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,720 Speaker 1: to look for you, and where the shadow is the darkness. 355 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 1: So the darkest shadow, if there's beneath the candles, the 356 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:06,080 Speaker 1: center of it all, whether shadow is the darkness is Britain. 357 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:12,240 Speaker 1: So it's completely crazy and probably quite brilliant, but completely insane. 358 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:14,440 Speaker 1: And I think it's the kind of thing that that 359 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,919 Speaker 1: you wouldn't do. I I certainly wouldn't do if you 360 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,159 Speaker 1: wouldn't do if you had a family, because you know, 361 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:22,280 Speaker 1: if you're twenty two and you know, the alternative is death, 362 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:25,080 Speaker 1: and you just figure what do I have to lose? 363 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:29,720 Speaker 1: They create the spake identity and they get him as 364 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,520 Speaker 1: fake I d um, the doctor is a fake ID. 365 00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 1: And then Extend, incredibly bravely manages and he goes back 366 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,560 Speaker 1: to Berlin, gets permission to come back to Prague and 367 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:44,920 Speaker 1: my father with Dennis passport and the full s I 368 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,480 Speaker 1: d in then sebast thing, which is the saying that 369 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:51,359 Speaker 1: they exchanged then Sibster didn't exist. Um it's as you 370 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,760 Speaker 1: get on the midnight train from Pargue to Berlin in 371 00:23:53,840 --> 00:24:01,000 Speaker 1: May and manages two against all olds across the border 372 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:06,520 Speaker 1: to get into Berlin, and without any proper termits managed 373 00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,280 Speaker 1: to find a job at the paint factory that Stenic 374 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:13,080 Speaker 1: was working in and to live for two years pretending 375 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:18,480 Speaker 1: to be John Sebastia, just a normal check guy, not Jewish, 376 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,960 Speaker 1: who is a chemist and who's interested in paint, and 377 00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:26,240 Speaker 1: he works for the factory that is developing laquers and 378 00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:30,199 Speaker 1: he does that until That's how he survived the war, 379 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:36,440 Speaker 1: within the horrors of the Holocaust, the perishing of almost 380 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 1: an entire family, the decimation of millions. Here is luck. 381 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:48,359 Speaker 1: Hans is lucky, he cheats, capture and certain deaths. Not once, 382 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:53,960 Speaker 1: not twice, but multiple times. I find myself thinking of Ariana, 383 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 1: who would never have been born if Hans's story hadn't 384 00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:02,359 Speaker 1: played out exactly as it did. Everything that never would 385 00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:07,280 Speaker 1: have happened, her father's extraordinary success, and her parents love story, 386 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:12,000 Speaker 1: and her three children now growing up in London. Her 387 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:16,520 Speaker 1: children never met her father, the watch repairer, until recently. 388 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,520 Speaker 1: She had never told them of his watches or his 389 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:25,159 Speaker 1: obsessive timekeeping. And yet what do we inherit? What has 390 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:29,600 Speaker 1: passed down and how does it shape us? Hans tried 391 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:33,560 Speaker 1: all his life to box up his traumatic experiences, and 392 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:37,320 Speaker 1: in certain ways he succeeded, I suppose. But trauma will 393 00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:40,800 Speaker 1: have its way with us eventually. It's like an invisible, 394 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:45,960 Speaker 1: multi headed mystical hydra, and those heads will appear, perhaps 395 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,160 Speaker 1: not in the secret Keeper's life, but in the generations 396 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:54,280 Speaker 1: to follow. Ariana's children don't believe this, by the way, 397 00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,520 Speaker 1: she and they have heated debates on the subject. They 398 00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:00,240 Speaker 1: believe that we each decide and shape who we are, 399 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,680 Speaker 1: that unspoken trauma and lessons do not leave their trace. 400 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:09,200 Speaker 1: Marianna does not entirely agree with them. As she writes 401 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:13,159 Speaker 1: in her memoir, of course we have control over our identity, 402 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:18,359 Speaker 1: but it is not absolute. What is it's sort is 403 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:22,080 Speaker 1: remarkable to me. Pretty is that my son in particular, 404 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:26,159 Speaker 1: reminds me a lot, a lot of my fathers. He 405 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:29,439 Speaker 1: stands the same way. She's very black and white and 406 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:34,320 Speaker 1: very absolute. And it might might be because teen and um, 407 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:37,480 Speaker 1: and he's an opinionated teenager. But the other thing that 408 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:42,520 Speaker 1: he charged that he's obsessed with time, which is interesting 409 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,200 Speaker 1: to me because my father's obsession the plan was obviously 410 00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:48,679 Speaker 1: something that he wasn't born with. What my children have 411 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:52,159 Speaker 1: inherited from them, in addition to many other things, is 412 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:57,159 Speaker 1: this obsession with time with has to have this a 413 00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:02,080 Speaker 1: product to the trauma, so that I passed onto them, 414 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,960 Speaker 1: whether that he has passed on through me to them. 415 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:09,680 Speaker 1: Are our genes that are warphed or changed by the 416 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,800 Speaker 1: trauma that he lived through, because he certainly wasn't like 417 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:17,720 Speaker 1: that he was sixteen seventeen eighteen, and yet my son, 418 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:21,359 Speaker 1: who is my father, was before the war. It is 419 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:28,560 Speaker 1: very much how my father was afterwards. Ariana's meticulously researched 420 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:32,080 Speaker 1: family history strikes me as the deepest kind of devotion, 421 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:36,439 Speaker 1: not religious devotion, the devotion to all that was lost. 422 00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:40,480 Speaker 1: The father, she never knew, the grandparents, She never knew 423 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,919 Speaker 1: the grandparents. Her children have never known the extended family 424 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:48,320 Speaker 1: that perished in the Nazi death camps. She can't bring 425 00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:52,320 Speaker 1: them back, not exactly, but she can offer us an 426 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:56,959 Speaker 1: enduring glimpse of their vanished world. As I started peeping 427 00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,879 Speaker 1: it together and doing family tree, letter had lot of 428 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:06,119 Speaker 1: them doing, describing this man who cold hands, who I 429 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:09,320 Speaker 1: couldn't recognize as my father, who the young man who 430 00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,920 Speaker 1: wanted to be a poet for a really bad poetry, 431 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:16,200 Speaker 1: and he was a complete shambles. He arrived late for dinner, 432 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:19,560 Speaker 1: he was always bowing off fins, He was not punctual, 433 00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,359 Speaker 1: he was chaostic, he didn't want to study. He was 434 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:26,399 Speaker 1: doing stink bombs of native in nineteen nine. You know, 435 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,720 Speaker 1: it was not at all that sort of very controlled 436 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:33,160 Speaker 1: um that I had met. So it was wonderful really 437 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 1: that I got to meet my father as a young man, 438 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,080 Speaker 1: and a young man that obviously has you know, pretty 439 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:44,480 Speaker 1: much disappeared after the war and pretty much disappeared by 440 00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:48,600 Speaker 1: the time I came around. In a way, you really 441 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,840 Speaker 1: end up with two different relationships with your father, you know, 442 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:54,280 Speaker 1: over the course of your life. Thus far, you have 443 00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,400 Speaker 1: the relationship with your father when he was living in 444 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:02,360 Speaker 1: which his secret was mostly held and not on the 445 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:06,400 Speaker 1: table for any kind of conversation. And then you have 446 00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:10,440 Speaker 1: the relationship with your father and his history and your 447 00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:14,960 Speaker 1: whole family's history after he passes away. Because that is 448 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,440 Speaker 1: possibly the biggest joy of having done this research. I 449 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 1: think when you lose a parent, you never really fully 450 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,200 Speaker 1: lose a parent, because they're with you, the women in 451 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,360 Speaker 1: your heart that remain genetically with you. But the search 452 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,840 Speaker 1: has been a way of keeping him with me still, 453 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:35,360 Speaker 1: and it's been marvels. Here's Ariana reading one last brief 454 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:43,760 Speaker 1: passage from when time stopped. Sometimes I lose my bearings, 455 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:48,640 Speaker 1: I forget that time has passed, and for that briefest moment, 456 00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,960 Speaker 1: I want to rush again to my father. I want 457 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,160 Speaker 1: to tear along the checkered floor of the hole to 458 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,959 Speaker 1: the long windowless room. And as he raises his visor 459 00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:01,640 Speaker 1: and looks up from his watches, explained that I finally 460 00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:05,120 Speaker 1: solved the puzzle. I have to let him know that 461 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:08,360 Speaker 1: I found the boy, he was the unfortunate boy, and 462 00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,640 Speaker 1: that I love him. I love that boy just as 463 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:15,960 Speaker 1: much as I respect the man he became. I longed 464 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,120 Speaker 1: to tell my father that I strolled around the garden 465 00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:22,040 Speaker 1: of his house in Lepche and wrote our book on 466 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,160 Speaker 1: a desk crafted by the person who now lived there. 467 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:29,160 Speaker 1: I need to reassure him that there are no more questions. 468 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:33,160 Speaker 1: I want to wrap my arms around him, place my 469 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:36,000 Speaker 1: head on his heart, and as the sounds of the 470 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:53,080 Speaker 1: mechanisms fade in the stillness, whisper that I understand. I 471 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,920 Speaker 1: want to thank Arianna Noyman for taking the time to 472 00:30:55,960 --> 00:31:00,280 Speaker 1: share her story with us. For more on Ariana's debut book, 473 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:04,280 Speaker 1: When Time Stopped, A Memoir of My Father's War and 474 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:10,000 Speaker 1: What Remains, visit Arianna Neuman dot com. That's a r 475 00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:13,320 Speaker 1: I A N A N e U M A n 476 00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:18,080 Speaker 1: N dot com. Family Secrets is an I heeart media production. 477 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:22,200 Speaker 1: Dylan Fagan is a supervising producer, and Julie Douglas and 478 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:26,160 Speaker 1: beth Anne Macaluso are the executive producers. If you have 479 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,520 Speaker 1: a family secret you'd like to share, you can get 480 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:31,480 Speaker 1: in touch with us at listener mail at Family Secrets 481 00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:35,400 Speaker 1: podcast dot com. You can also find us on Instagram 482 00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:39,719 Speaker 1: at Danny writer and Facebook at Family Secrets Pod and 483 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:43,640 Speaker 1: Twitter at Family Secrets Pod. For more about my book, Inheritance, 484 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:57,600 Speaker 1: visit Danny Shapiro dot com. For more podcasts from My 485 00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,800 Speaker 1: Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app podcasts, or 486 00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:02,800 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows,