Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, brother, I'm so sorry that you are
Speaker 1: in this. This is not the card that you wanted
Speaker 1: to play, but it's the card you were dealt. What's up, everybody,
Speaker 1: Welcome to the podcast. Thank you for watching and listening
Speaker 1: wherever you're coming from. What I do here is I
Speaker 1: answer your questions, super easy, super casual. You email me
Speaker 1: Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. We walk through them
Speaker 1: just like we're on a road trip together. I'm going
Speaker 1: to answer like a friend, and I have no notes,
Speaker 1: no quotes, nothing prepared in front of me. In fact,
Speaker 1: I haven't even read any of these questions ready to
Speaker 1: go here at all, totally random. I have no idea
Speaker 1: what I'm getting into. They're straight from you, guys, and
Speaker 1: this is episode one seventy five. Let's get started here.
Speaker 1: First question, no subject line. It says, hey, granger my
Speaker 1: name is Noah. I have a question about my family.
Speaker 1: My parents got divorced when I was about five years old.
Speaker 1: I'm now seventeen, and for the past three years, my
Speaker 1: father has not spoken to me. I haven't seen him
Speaker 1: in a year. All of this because my stepmom caused
Speaker 1: a series of events that created a disaster for our family,
Speaker 1: a family all of us thought could never be broken.
Speaker 1: My father has turned his back on me and my
Speaker 1: brother and his grandma who raised him, and our cousins.
Speaker 1: The family and the farm is in shambles lately. I
Speaker 1: really miss my father. I guess what I'm asking is
Speaker 1: what do you think I should do? Wow? Yeah, Noah?
Speaker 1: Thank you for kicking off the podcast with a a
Speaker 1: very deep question. And I'm so sorry brother, I'm so
Speaker 1: sorry that you are in this. This is not the
Speaker 1: card that you wanted to play, but it's the card
Speaker 1: you were dealt, right, And that's that's what we could
Speaker 1: all say about ourselves. We don't always enjoy what we're
Speaker 1: doing or say that this is where we thought we
Speaker 1: would be, or this is what we would choose to be,
Speaker 1: as far from that. Life is so much more just
Speaker 1: about the hand that we're dealt. How do we play it?
Speaker 1: How do we play the hand that we're dealt without
Speaker 1: looking around and saying, man, that family over there across
Speaker 1: the street, they're doing pretty good. Why do I get
Speaker 1: this hand? Instead of asking why, change it to what
Speaker 1: what am I going to do with this? What am
Speaker 1: I going to do with the hand I'm dealt? How
Speaker 1: am I going to play this? Instead of why you can't?
Speaker 1: You can't respond to why you can't. There's no action
Speaker 1: connected with why. There's action connected with what what next?
Speaker 1: What am I going to do? Now? Okay? And that's
Speaker 1: exactly what you're asking. Okay, great, you said what do
Speaker 1: you think I should do? There's no right or wrong answer.
Speaker 1: Let's walk through it though. Okay, Noah, let me recap.
Speaker 1: Dad's been gone two thirds of your life. We see
Speaker 1: this step mom problem. This is not necessarily a step
Speaker 1: mother problem. It's a step parent problem because it could
Speaker 1: be a stepdad as well. But we see the step
Speaker 1: parent problem so many times on the microcosm of what
Speaker 1: the Grangersmith podcast is. In one hundred and seventy five
Speaker 1: episodes and god knows how many questions, Man, we have
Speaker 1: seen the step parent create havoc. And I don't necessarily
Speaker 1: blame that person. This is on your dad. This is
Speaker 1: on your dad. He's in La La Land. And you
Speaker 1: don't want to tell a seventeen year old that his
Speaker 1: dad is in La La Land. But that's what's happening.
Speaker 1: In one more year, you're eligible for the draft, if
Speaker 1: there was a draft, and you should know your Dad
Speaker 1: has gone cuckoo right, He's got love eyes on, and
Speaker 1: he is he's too attached to this woman, this stepmother.
Speaker 1: He's so attached to her that he can't see what's
Speaker 1: really going on, and he can't see the damage that
Speaker 1: it's doing. And dare I say he is? He is
Speaker 1: frightened of her in a way. He has a fear
Speaker 1: of her in a way that's deeper than his fear
Speaker 1: of losing his family. And that is a sad place
Speaker 1: to be. So what do you do? You love him?
Speaker 1: You love him, you forgive him. That's not the answer
Speaker 1: you probably wanted, or maybe maybe not what you expected.
Speaker 1: Maybe after all this build up, you're thinking, Yeah, Dad's
Speaker 1: a jerk. What do I do? Granger? Tell me what
Speaker 1: I What do I do? Do I figure out some
Speaker 1: kind of legal way to win this battle? Brother? The
Speaker 1: way to win this battle is by loving him. And
Speaker 1: you send him a letter, You say, Dad, I miss you. Man.
Speaker 1: The farms and shambles and the family's hurting, Your grandma
Speaker 1: is hurting. None of us blame you. It's just the
Speaker 1: way it is right now. More than anything, we just
Speaker 1: miss you and I love you, Dad. I really wish
Speaker 1: I could see it, miss. I wish maybe we can
Speaker 1: jump on the phone sometime. I just want I want
Speaker 1: you to know Dad that that I forgive you, and
Speaker 1: I hope you forgive me for anything I've done. And
Speaker 1: I would like to meet up sometime and grab a
Speaker 1: burger talk about some stuff. Whenever you're ready. The door's
Speaker 1: opened at Noah, if you could do that, man, that
Speaker 1: takes a man to do that. It takes a mature
Speaker 1: man to do that. Not that you aren't at seventeen,
Speaker 1: not that you're not there yet. Maybe you are, sounds
Speaker 1: like you, maybe you're growing up quick. But if you
Speaker 1: could do that, you'll be a man, my son, You'll
Speaker 1: be a man. That's how a man would deal with this,
Speaker 1: Not with his fist, not with his attitude, Not by
Speaker 1: breaking things and being angry. That's weak. A weak man
Speaker 1: would do that. A weak man would turn his back
Speaker 1: on a cowardly father by acting cowardly back to him
Speaker 1: and becoming that continuing the cycle in his life. It's
Speaker 1: not you, Noah. That's not why you emailed this podcast.
Speaker 1: That's not why a seventeen year old guy like you
Speaker 1: listens to this podcast. I got a feeling about you.
Speaker 1: You're breaking that generational curse. It stops with you, partly,
Speaker 1: partly in the fact that when you find a girl
Speaker 1: and you get married to this girl, you're gonna make
Speaker 1: a commitment to her in that family and you're not
Speaker 1: going anywhere, and you're going to tell your wife's that,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna tell your kids that. You're going to say,
Speaker 1: you know, I learned. I learned some stuff when I
Speaker 1: was growing up about a broken family, a broken home.
Speaker 1: I will not do that to you, guys, And you'll
Speaker 1: look them into the eye and at the dinner table
Speaker 1: you'll say, I will not leave you. Guys. I'm your dad.
Speaker 1: The generational curse stops with me. That's you. Noah, I'm
Speaker 1: speaking this into you, man, I'm speaking some identity into you.
Speaker 1: As you move forward and you handle this situation with grace,
Speaker 1: love and forgiveness, and you tell your great grandma, he said, Grandma, Dad,
Speaker 1: Dad's cuckoo right now, But that's not who he is.
Speaker 1: You know him better than that. He's in La la land.
Speaker 1: But we're hoping that he comes back and we forgive him. Grandma.
Speaker 1: I know it's tough, but we still love him, don't we. Grandma?
Speaker 1: You spread that message around. You. Don't let that deceit
Speaker 1: just find its way in and start breaking this this
Speaker 1: family apart any further because people get together and gossip
Speaker 1: and go get You know about step the step mom.
Speaker 1: You know what she said. You know what she did
Speaker 1: in this email or so and so sorry at the
Speaker 1: bank and the line and the teller's off. You know
Speaker 1: what she did. She just ignored him. And you know
Speaker 1: what else? You know what we heard a rumor about her,
Speaker 1: about her ex husband, the electrician down there. You know,
Speaker 1: this stuff just spreads like cancer. You're not going to
Speaker 1: be part of it. Noah, You're not a part of it.
Speaker 1: I appreciate your emailing brother. I hope you could take
Speaker 1: this with you. I hope you could take it with you.
Speaker 1: Next question moving on here. Subject line says girl. Question
Speaker 1: says how can you tell if the girl you're dating
Speaker 1: is the right one? Question comes from Bentley Bentley common
Speaker 1: question we get on this podcast and I understand, I
Speaker 1: hear you. I hear you loud and clear. How can
Speaker 1: you tell if the girl you're dating is the right one? Yeah,
Speaker 1: because your hands are sweaty and your knees are weak,
Speaker 1: you can't eat, and you can't sleep. Alan Jackson had
Speaker 1: a song back in the I guess the nineties called
Speaker 1: sounds Like Love's Got a hold on You. You just
Speaker 1: know it, brother, you know it. You go man, this girl,
Speaker 1: this girl does something to me. I feel sick. I
Speaker 1: feel physically ill around girl. She turns me every way
Speaker 1: but loose. That's what Alan Jackson said. That's how you know.
Speaker 1: You don't have to ask all right. Next question, subject
Speaker 1: line says fate, Hey, Gringel. My name is Christine. I'm
Speaker 1: thirty one. Live in a small town on the Vermont border.
Speaker 1: I was in a military relationship for the better part
Speaker 1: of three years. We were on and off several times
Speaker 1: during deployments, COVID and relocations. We also talked about getting married,
Speaker 1: having kids, and living happily ever after. We haven't spoken
Speaker 1: in almost two years now, but I think about him
Speaker 1: every day and I even dream about him. Everyone has
Speaker 1: told me that I need to move on and allow
Speaker 1: another man into my life. I'm worried that I'll never
Speaker 1: find someone quite like him, but my biological clock is ticking.
Speaker 1: I want nothing more than to raise a family. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to rely on God's plan, but I frequently get discouraged.
Speaker 1: Do you believe anything. Excuse me, you said. You didn't
Speaker 1: say that. You said, do you believe everything happens for
Speaker 1: a reason? Is fate real? And where does God's plan
Speaker 1: fit in? Thank you for everything you do. God bless Christine, Ah, Christine,
Speaker 1: thank you for the email. I'm gonna recap for my
Speaker 1: own brain. You're thirty one and you were in a
Speaker 1: military relationship for the better part of three years on
Speaker 1: and off. So this was okay? You said we even
Speaker 1: talked about getting married having kids, so that didn't didn't happen.
Speaker 1: This is the boyfriend. This is an ex boyfriend that
Speaker 1: you still think about. Got it? Okay, let's start backwards.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start the back half of this first. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna deal with what I think is more important than
Speaker 1: the ex boyfriend right now, and that is the question
Speaker 1: or you say, do you believe everything happens for a reason? One?
Speaker 1: Is fate real? Two? And three? Where does God's plan
Speaker 1: fit in? I want to challenge you, Christine on that
Speaker 1: last question, Where does God's plan fit in? And I
Speaker 1: would have you flip everything and say God's plan happens
Speaker 1: no matter what. Where does my life fit into that?
Speaker 1: Where does fate fit into that? Where does everything happening
Speaker 1: fit into that? Right? So God's purpose, God's plan happens
Speaker 1: because he's God and he's sovereign, and that's what the
Speaker 1: Bible tells us, that his plan will stand always and
Speaker 1: it's always good. He even turns evil for good. He
Speaker 1: uses bad for good in a way that we can't
Speaker 1: possibly understand, but we can understand it through our own,
Speaker 1: our own drama that we have in our life. That
Speaker 1: we write a book or we watch a movie. And
Speaker 1: I've talked about this before. You have the antagonist in
Speaker 1: the movie, you take them out, you take the bad
Speaker 1: out of the movie, it's no longer a good movie. Right.
Speaker 1: You can't understand light at all unless you see the dark, right,
Speaker 1: unless you have the dark contrasting it. So we can
Speaker 1: kind of see, maybe in our finite brains, why he
Speaker 1: would allow certain things to happen. But what we do
Speaker 1: know is that he has a plan and it happens
Speaker 1: that way. So the real question is that you're trying
Speaker 1: to ask, I hope, or at least I'm challenging you,
Speaker 1: is where do we fit into that? Where does my
Speaker 1: little tiny life fit into that plan? Okay, I can't
Speaker 1: answer that for you, I could shoot you in the
Speaker 1: right direction. I can't answer that, but if I can
Speaker 1: reframe your thinking to be that, then I think it'll
Speaker 1: really help you to better understand the path that you're on. Okay,
Speaker 1: so let's go now with that idea, with a new
Speaker 1: reframed question. Now, let's talk about the ex boyfriend. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's easy to look back and see that hindsight is
Speaker 1: twenty twenty. It's just a thing. We know this. You say,
Speaker 1: we are on and off several times during the plumb
Speaker 1: during deployment's, COVID and relocations. You didn't make it. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff going on right now that could
Speaker 1: be a positive thing for you because it was a
Speaker 1: very unstable time in both of y'all's lives, and now
Speaker 1: maybe you're kind of stable now. And so my question
Speaker 1: to you would be this, you ever think about writing
Speaker 1: him an email? I'm sure you still have his email.
Speaker 1: Do you ever think about writing him an email and
Speaker 1: saying this to him? Your words? Okay, Okay, Christine, your words. Hey.
Speaker 1: I know that we are on and off several times, deployments,
Speaker 1: COVID relocations. I know that we talked about even getting married,
Speaker 1: having kids, living happily ever after. I know that we
Speaker 1: haven't spoken in almost two years, and this is awkward
Speaker 1: to say, but I think about you every day. I
Speaker 1: even dream about you. Everyone has told me I need
Speaker 1: to move on and allow another man into my life,
Speaker 1: but I'm just worried that I'll never find someone quite
Speaker 1: like you. I didn't say that. That's not my words.
Speaker 1: That was your email, Christine. You just said it to me.
Speaker 1: You asked me that about him. So what if you
Speaker 1: wrote down your words as we see this every podcast,
Speaker 1: and you put it in an email to him, Because
Speaker 1: guess what happens. There's no more wondering after that. There's
Speaker 1: no more I wonder what God's plan is. I wonder
Speaker 1: where my biological clock is ticking. There's no more wondering.
Speaker 1: He either doesn't reply, or he does, or he says no.
Speaker 1: But at least you'll note you could move on, like
Speaker 1: your friends say, because he's gonna ghost you, or he's
Speaker 1: gonna say, hey, I'm married now, I'm engaged now, or
Speaker 1: he's gonna say I feel the same way. Where could
Speaker 1: we meet? Either way, you will know. Okay, let's jump
Speaker 1: into something else here. This looks like a completely different
Speaker 1: subject subject line here says is astrology a sin? They
Speaker 1: grant drummer Rebecca, reaching out for from southern Illinois. I've
Speaker 1: been curious about a topic that's been eating at me
Speaker 1: for a while now. Is astrology a sin? God not
Speaker 1: only created the stars, but he arranged them in star
Speaker 1: groupings that could be used for signs and for seasons.
Speaker 1: Many say astrology is a sin, but I've also heard
Speaker 1: the Gospel in the is in the stars. What are
Speaker 1: your thoughts on God and astrology? Is it a sin? Okay? Rebecca,
Speaker 1: thanks for the for the email you This is this
Speaker 1: is where I wish we were in a conversation together
Speaker 1: around a campfire, because you say, many say astrology is
Speaker 1: a sin, but I've also heard the Gospel is in
Speaker 1: the stars. I don't know what that means. You say
Speaker 1: the Gospel is in the stars. That's that's not true.
Speaker 1: That's not true at all. The Gospels not in the stars. Okay.
Speaker 1: The Gospel is the good news about God coming to
Speaker 1: earth as Jesus, fully, man fully God, taking on the
Speaker 1: sins of his people, redeeming his people. It's the redemption
Speaker 1: story of Israel, and He is the climax of that story.
Speaker 1: When he is killed on the cross, resurrected in three days,
Speaker 1: and he says that anyone who repents and turns to
Speaker 1: him will have everlasting life. During the time on the cross,
Speaker 1: he atoned for the sin. He paid for the price
Speaker 1: of the sins of his people in full. That is
Speaker 1: the gospel, that is the good News. There are gospels
Speaker 1: that we have four copies of from four different apostles.
Speaker 1: We have those as gospels. And then there's also the
Speaker 1: gospel that all of the gospels proclaim. It's the proc
Speaker 1: of good news. Is gospel, and that is not in
Speaker 1: the stars. Okay, Now, did he create the stars and
Speaker 1: arrange them and name them? Yes, the Bible says that
Speaker 1: he knows all the stars. He made all the stars,
Speaker 1: He named all the stars. Did he arrange them for
Speaker 1: signs and seasons in a way that he arranged the
Speaker 1: trees for signs and seasons. We could look at a
Speaker 1: red oak tree and know when the buds are coming,
Speaker 1: that spring is coming. In fact, a mesquite tree in Texas.
Speaker 1: When we know the mesquite tree buds, my grandpa used
Speaker 1: to say this, when the mosquite tree starts budding, you
Speaker 1: know you could put out your garden because a mesquite
Speaker 1: tree will only bud after the last frost. That becomes
Speaker 1: a sign for us on earth as we take dominion
Speaker 1: of this earth. We could look to different things as
Speaker 1: a sign of earthly things, not heavenly things. So we
Speaker 1: could look at a tree and know that the last
Speaker 1: frost is over, and we could put out a garden.
Speaker 1: But we can't look at a tree and say God
Speaker 1: is coming in three months because of the tree is
Speaker 1: giving me the sign. The same way, you can't look
Speaker 1: at the stars and see any kind of heavenly messages
Speaker 1: at all. That would be a terrible heresy, a terrible heresy.
Speaker 1: But you could look at the stars all day and
Speaker 1: go look look at how they make shapes and they
Speaker 1: make creatures. And look at that one looks like an alligator. Wow,
Speaker 1: that one is moving. It's a shooting star. Look how
Speaker 1: beautiful they are. Look how small we are. Look how
Speaker 1: depth the great depth of the galaxy is. You could
Speaker 1: say all that, But as soon as you start saying
Speaker 1: they're arranged in signs and messages for me from God,
Speaker 1: it gets very dangerous. Let's take a break, be right back.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to the podcast. You know a great
Speaker 1: way to get a hold of me, or to send
Speaker 1: me a message, or to have me send you a
Speaker 1: message is a cameo. Cameo dot com slash Granger Smith
Speaker 1: or you can download the cameo app and search for
Speaker 1: me Granger Smith. It's a super easy format and I've
Speaker 1: done cameo for about three and a half years now
Speaker 1: and it's just part of my daily life. I love
Speaker 1: doing it and I love being able to communicate. What
Speaker 1: it is is you send me a message and I
Speaker 1: record you back a video message of whatever you want
Speaker 1: me to say. It could be happy birthday, happy anniversary,
Speaker 1: words of encouragement, happy engagement, announcing babies. I've done pretty
Speaker 1: much everything right now is a good time for Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: You need that last minute gift, you need to say
Speaker 1: something the last minute for your Valentine. I got you covered.
Speaker 1: Just go to cameo dot com slash Granger Smith send
Speaker 1: me your request for whoever you want me to send
Speaker 1: it to. Also, this is a big week for ye
Speaker 1: Ye Apparel coming up this Friday the seventeenth. Are all
Speaker 1: new twenty twenty three winter launch. So excited about this.
Speaker 1: We have so many really cool items. You could find
Speaker 1: out more at ye ye dot com. Make sure you
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Speaker 1: at granger Smith. Back to the podcast, All right, back
Speaker 1: to the podcast. If you have a question for me,
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Could be about
Speaker 1: any subject. My only thing is please don't send the
Speaker 1: same one twice because gets lost or trashed. And don't
Speaker 1: send me one that's much longer than like a phone length,
Speaker 1: because then it makes it difficult to read that question
Speaker 1: on the podcast. Okay, let's get back into this subject line.
Speaker 1: If this one says girlfriends past, grant your. My name
Speaker 1: is Kyle. I'm twenty two. I'm madly in love with
Speaker 1: my girlfriend of six months, and she feels the same
Speaker 1: about me. She's amazing in every way, and we've already
Speaker 1: talked about marriage. I love everything about her other than
Speaker 1: her past. She's had multiple previous boyfriends before me, and
Speaker 1: I just cannot seem to get the thought out of
Speaker 1: my head that she's been with them and has had
Speaker 1: sex with guys other than me. I just cannot get
Speaker 1: the mental images out of my head. I just don't
Speaker 1: know if it's jealousy or what it is. But I
Speaker 1: don't know how to go through this. What are your thoughts? Thinks?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that last sentence you said, but I know
Speaker 1: I'm not the only one going through this. What are
Speaker 1: your thoughts? Things? Okay, Kyle, appreciate you, bro, thank you
Speaker 1: for emailing. Twenty two years old, madly in love girlfriend
Speaker 1: six months she feels the same, amazing every way not
Speaker 1: quite right, and you've talked about marriage. Cool. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: hear you. I'm hearing you here, and this is what
Speaker 1: we're going to talk about, Kyle. So me and you
Speaker 1: road tripping, right, this is a great road trip question.
Speaker 1: Driving down the highway, me and you and you're like, man, Granger,
Speaker 1: I gotta I'm like, hey, how's the girl? Right? How's
Speaker 1: the girl? And you go, man, it's great, everything's great.
Speaker 1: And you know, I really love madly in love with
Speaker 1: her and I'm like, but but man, I can't. I
Speaker 1: can't get over her past boyfriends always think about it
Speaker 1: makes me sneeze. I just think about this, Kyle makes
Speaker 1: me sneeze. Excuse me. This is something that you're gonna
Speaker 1: have to look at who she is now? This is
Speaker 1: what this is, what's gonna play into this, this this answer.
Speaker 1: So much of what I need you to do now
Speaker 1: is look at who she is now today? Who is
Speaker 1: she today? Kyle? That's what I tell you in the
Speaker 1: cab of the truck. You're not gonna look at her
Speaker 1: and who she was with past boyfriends. I know that
Speaker 1: that's difficult to do, but this is an exercise you're
Speaker 1: gonna have to force yourself in because trust trust me,
Speaker 1: no one wants to look at your past either. Kyle.
Speaker 1: What you know about her past? And you know about
Speaker 1: these ex boyfriends because she's opened up and told you,
Speaker 1: But there's stuff she doesn't know about you. What has
Speaker 1: happened in your past? What are things that have happened
Speaker 1: that no one knows about? And what if everything you've
Speaker 1: done in your life was put on a tape that
Speaker 1: sounds so old tape digit is put on a digital
Speaker 1: file and we all got to watch it, Kyle, we
Speaker 1: get to see your whole life on one click. How
Speaker 1: would you feel there's stuff you're ashamed of? There's stuff
Speaker 1: that you wish that no one could see. Hm. I
Speaker 1: would say yes. It would be very strange if you
Speaker 1: said no, because you're a human. I'm not blaming you.
Speaker 1: I'm saying me. You everyone, there's stuff and we just
Speaker 1: don't want people to know in our past. But that's
Speaker 1: not who we are. That the past doesn't define us,
Speaker 1: it refines us. I put that in a song. The
Speaker 1: past does not define us, It refines us. That makes
Speaker 1: us better now that we've learned from it, hopefully. So
Speaker 1: who is this girlfriend today? Who is she today? Has
Speaker 1: she learned? Does she have a repentant heart? Is she
Speaker 1: not like that anymore? Kyle? Is she having sex with you? Bro?
Speaker 1: Is she? Hmm? That's what i'd ask you in the
Speaker 1: cab of the truck. You haven't sex with this girl
Speaker 1: now because you haven't married her yet, And you just
Speaker 1: might be another one of these ex boyfriends in line
Speaker 1: that somebody else has got to worry about. You might
Speaker 1: be that guy. Are you that guy? Oh? No, man, no, Granger.
Speaker 1: I'm madly in love with her and she feels the same.
Speaker 1: She's amazing. We've even talked about marriage. Ah. Is that
Speaker 1: what the last guy said? Be careful, man, be careful.
Speaker 1: This is a tricky situation. I hope, I hope that
Speaker 1: you're looking at this from a perspective of you saying,
Speaker 1: we're starting a new chapter, we're laying we're laying some
Speaker 1: new ground here, and I'm I'm respecting her in a
Speaker 1: way that the past boyfriends haven't. Man, what if he
Speaker 1: said that. I hope that's true. And what if she
Speaker 1: is she has a repentant heart and she's like I
Speaker 1: I regret my past and I'm not that person anymore.
Speaker 1: I'm a new person. Now. What if she's saying that
Speaker 1: this changes everything. If that's the case, that's what you're
Speaker 1: gonna be looking at who she is today, not this
Speaker 1: past girl. Okay, you know gonna You're not gonna worry
Speaker 1: about the past unless she still is that person. And
Speaker 1: if she is, then you don't need to be with her.
Speaker 1: Just make sure you're not the new ex boyfriend that
Speaker 1: sneeze I had. That last question proves that we do
Speaker 1: not cut this podcast. We roll with it. I don't
Speaker 1: have notes. I Don'm not prepared. We roll with it.
Speaker 1: Seven glide of the next one says, parachute for children, Grandeur.
Speaker 1: I was listening to this week's podcast ten twenty four
Speaker 1: twenty two. That's old where you gave your analogy on
Speaker 1: the plane is going down, we run out of fuel.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't want to have a parachute for adults and
Speaker 1: other individuals. Wait, what what did I say? Sometimes? I
Speaker 1: don't know what I said. You gave the analogy on
Speaker 1: the plane as going down out of fuel, wouldn't want
Speaker 1: to have a parachute. You wouldn't want to have a parachute.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that's exactly what you typed, And
Speaker 1: I'm not sure what that means for adults and other individuals.
Speaker 1: They know that they could build that relationship with God
Speaker 1: to get that parachute, and it merely becomes a choice
Speaker 1: for those individuals. My wife and I have a three
Speaker 1: year old daughter and a one year old son. My
Speaker 1: question is, how do children that young? Oh, I see
Speaker 1: where this is going commit their life to Christ to
Speaker 1: get that parachute. I see what you're talking about, As
Speaker 1: I imagine, there is no get out jail free card
Speaker 1: for children. Thanks for continuing to share your love in
Speaker 1: Christ and working to move others in His direction on
Speaker 1: all your platforms. Tyler Tyler, thanks for the email bro. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I was playing catch up with trying to understand what
Speaker 1: I told you in the past. I'm not who I
Speaker 1: was in the past, Tyler, judge me from the present.
Speaker 1: Just kidding. Okay, your question is how do you how
Speaker 1: do you prepare children to go to heaven? That's your question.
Speaker 1: You have a three year old daughter and a one
Speaker 1: year old son. Yeah, you pray for him, You pray,
Speaker 1: oh for them, You pray under them, you pray around them,
Speaker 1: you pray at dinner, you pray in front of them.
Speaker 1: You let them catch you on your knees. You let
Speaker 1: them catch you walking out of their their little room.
Speaker 1: And it's six forty five in the morning, and they're
Speaker 1: coming out, your three year old daughters just waking up,
Speaker 1: getting ready to get eat her cheerios, And she sees
Speaker 1: daddy in there reading his Bible, studying like his life
Speaker 1: depends on it. And then she remembers that when she's
Speaker 1: four and five and six and seven and eight, and
Speaker 1: you pour into her and you love her and you
Speaker 1: respect her, and you love her mama, and you respect
Speaker 1: her mama, and she sees who you are and your heart,
Speaker 1: and she sees where your allegiance lies and what you
Speaker 1: care about and what you do and who you worship,
Speaker 1: and how you lead the household, and you pray for
Speaker 1: her every night. You say, God, take this child, love
Speaker 1: this little girl, Bring her into your kingdom, Have mercy
Speaker 1: on us. Bless this child every single night, every single morning,
Speaker 1: every single meal, and when you think about it in
Speaker 1: the middle of the day. That's what you do. Brother.
Speaker 1: She can't understand anything at three, but that's what you
Speaker 1: pour over her. That's all you could do, all right.
Speaker 1: Random choice email subject line says tell me how Hey Granger.
Speaker 1: My name is Luke. I'm from Michigan. I'm eighteen. I
Speaker 1: have always been single. Even though I know with everything
Speaker 1: in me that God does not want me to have
Speaker 1: a girlfriend, I still find myself wanting one. I hear
Speaker 1: you say all the time, how to learn to be
Speaker 1: content and single? Can you give me some clarity on
Speaker 1: how to get to that point? Love? The podcast help
Speaker 1: so much, Luke. Appreciate you, brother, Thank you for emailing.
Speaker 1: I love the state of Michigan. Good to hear from you. Man.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna beat you up real good, Luke. That's how
Speaker 1: much I love you, buddy. What are you talking about? God?
Speaker 1: Does it you everything in you says God doesn't want
Speaker 1: you to have a girlfriend. Where do you read that?
Speaker 1: Maybe that goes back to that email about the stars
Speaker 1: that God gave you a He wrote it in the stars,
Speaker 1: he said, Luke, you're not going to have a girlfriend,
Speaker 1: and he wrote it in Latin. I'm just kidding. You
Speaker 1: don't know that. You don't know with everything in you
Speaker 1: that he doesn't want you to have a girlfriend. You
Speaker 1: don't know that. You don't know that. Don't say that.
Speaker 1: Take that out of your email. Okay, second part, I'm
Speaker 1: going to beat you up on. What's the next part.
Speaker 1: You hear me say all the time to be content
Speaker 1: and single. Yes, I do, And then you say, give
Speaker 1: me some clarity on how to get to that point. Hey,
Speaker 1: no beating up on that one. That's that's it. I love.
Speaker 1: I love to try to be as practical as I can.
Speaker 1: If I'm not practical, you guys call me out because
Speaker 1: I don't want to. I don't ever want to say
Speaker 1: things that goes over people's head and they're like, I
Speaker 1: don't I don't even know what this dude's talking about.
Speaker 1: I don't know what granger, he's just blabbering on about
Speaker 1: something I don't know what it is. I want to
Speaker 1: be practical and I want to be like you said,
Speaker 1: I want to have clarity on the points. I don't
Speaker 1: like to hear anything that is vague, especially when it
Speaker 1: comes to something serious like this, Like you're eighteen and
Speaker 1: you're trying to figure out what to do with your life.
Speaker 1: It's basically what you're asking and you need some clarity
Speaker 1: because you feel an anxiety to have a girlfriend. So
Speaker 1: let's dig in on that a little bit. Okay, that
Speaker 1: you have a feeling that you want a girlfriend, man,
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a natural feeling for an eighteen year
Speaker 1: old boy. And I'm not gonna blame you for that, Luke,
Speaker 1: I don't I'm not gonna say that that's a bad, wrong, sinful,
Speaker 1: terrible feeling. I'm not saying that. If you've if you've
Speaker 1: heard me say something like that, I want to say gently,
Speaker 1: I feel like you've misunderstood me when it comes to that,
Speaker 1: because that's a natural thing for an eighteen year old
Speaker 1: boy to go shere, would like to have a girlfriend.
Speaker 1: But there's a difference in that. Sure would she would
Speaker 1: like to have a girlfriend, She would like to know
Speaker 1: what it's like to talk to a girl, To take
Speaker 1: a girl to Sonic and get a burger and a coke.
Speaker 1: I wonder what that's like, take her to a dance,
Speaker 1: listen to a favorite song with her. I don't think
Speaker 1: there's anything wrong with that. But here's where it gets bad.
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed. All I could do is think about this
Speaker 1: one girl, and I just I need her and I
Speaker 1: miss her and it hurts my heart and I can't
Speaker 1: sleep at night. It just breaks me up. And she
Speaker 1: doesn't give me the time of day. And I don't
Speaker 1: know if she likes me or there's so out there
Speaker 1: and I don't know who it is. I'm so lonely.
Speaker 1: I just can't. I can't stand it. I'm not I
Speaker 1: have anxiety and I'm not content. I'm just I feel
Speaker 1: this urgency. I just don't know what to do as
Speaker 1: it just consumes me like that. That that's wrong. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's that's when I come in and go, no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no. We have to learn to be content and single.
Speaker 1: But I don't think there's anything wrong with saying I
Speaker 1: kind of this is what you're you said. I still
Speaker 1: find myself wanting one. I don't think there's anything wrong
Speaker 1: with an eighteen year old guy going, I'd like to
Speaker 1: have a girlfriend. Yeah, be honest with you, guys, I'd
Speaker 1: like to have a girlfriend. Is that an obsession yet?
Speaker 1: I don't know is it? Is it a healthy You're
Speaker 1: just eighteen? That's okay. So after that, now, let's get practical,
Speaker 1: let's get to let's get the clarity on the point. Okay,
Speaker 1: making this up as I go, Bro, what are you
Speaker 1: doing with your mind and your heart? That's what I
Speaker 1: would ask you. What what are you doing? Are you
Speaker 1: the third wheel in a relationship that your buddy and
Speaker 1: his girlfriend and you're the third wheel that's not helping things?
Speaker 1: Are you singing home, playing video games on the couch
Speaker 1: and your mom is bringing you peanut butter and jelly sandwiches,
Speaker 1: that's not helping things. Are you plugged in in a
Speaker 1: local church and you're you're you're serving, and you're you're
Speaker 1: planning on a mission trip to Peru maybe, and you
Speaker 1: guys are fundraising so that you can you could go
Speaker 1: to build homes in Peru, and you're gonna pour into
Speaker 1: this little community there and you're gonna, you're gonna you're
Speaker 1: gonna help cut chop firewood for ryoul that lives there,
Speaker 1: right and you you you were micro focusing on this.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's exaggerating, but it's possible. Something like a mission
Speaker 1: trip short term mission trip to Peru as at an
Speaker 1: eighteen year old through your local church after fundraising is
Speaker 1: not too far fetched. But what what if you became
Speaker 1: focused and passionate about something like this or maybe it's
Speaker 1: a it's a tech school and you're gonna go and
Speaker 1: you're gonna you're gonna study welding and you're gonna get
Speaker 1: your certificate and you're gonna go out and you get
Speaker 1: your making. You're slowly making a path for yourself on
Speaker 1: what you want to do, and you're growing your passions
Speaker 1: and you have friends that do it with you. And
Speaker 1: you guys are just now getting into bird hunting and
Speaker 1: you're thinking about getting a bird dog until you've been
Speaker 1: kind of researching puppies. These are these are good passionate
Speaker 1: things for an eighteen year old to start wrecting energy,
Speaker 1: learning how to be single and content Because you start
Speaker 1: you start working towards this stuff, you start pouring yourself
Speaker 1: into passions by design, and you don't have room to
Speaker 1: sit around and go Sure, am lonely. My other friends
Speaker 1: are dating, looking at Instagram, and everyone has somebody but me.
Speaker 1: That is toxic for your brain. That is that's where
Speaker 1: you could start wearing yourself down. So you gotta get
Speaker 1: busy being passionate about something. They will grange. I'm not
Speaker 1: a passionate person. Get passionate. You can't tell me. There's
Speaker 1: nothing in this big world that you can't get behind.
Speaker 1: Like fundraising for a short term mission trip in Peru
Speaker 1: sounds like a pretty I kind of like that. I
Speaker 1: just made that up and I'm kind of liking it
Speaker 1: for you. Luke, you get the name for it. Bro,
Speaker 1: You've got the name for it. Okay, does that make sense.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make sure because you said give me some clarity,
Speaker 1: I want to make sure it was clear. I want
Speaker 1: to make sure that when I give you practical stuff
Speaker 1: I'm talking about you got to do something. You have
Speaker 1: to do something you're passionate about, hopefully with other guys.
Speaker 1: You're pulling in other people and you're building a small
Speaker 1: community one guy, one friend, two guys. If you don't
Speaker 1: have any friends, then you seek the passion and then
Speaker 1: you find people that are going the same direction within
Speaker 1: that passion. So if it's welding, I want to be welding.
Speaker 1: We already use that example. You're to go into law enforcement.
Speaker 1: I want to go into law enforcement. So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go to this this uh school, what do they call it? Academy?
Speaker 1: You're gonna go to the police academy and you're gonna
Speaker 1: find somebody on that same path and you go, hey, man,
Speaker 1: my name is Luke. Now I get what's up. I'm
Speaker 1: Tom I'm going to academy. You're like me too. I
Speaker 1: love it. And then you guys just connect like that's
Speaker 1: then you have a friend. That's how this happens. Is
Speaker 1: that practical enough? Get busy, Luke, Get busy. Okay, so
Speaker 1: let's recap. It's okay to want to have a girlfriend,
Speaker 1: it's not okay to obsess about it. And if you
Speaker 1: start leaking over to the obsession side of this equation,
Speaker 1: get busy, Get busy doing something you're passionate about. That
Speaker 1: will build your confidence in being content because eventually you
Speaker 1: look around you go, I'm okay by myself. I'm content.
Speaker 1: Love you guys, see you next Monday. Thanks for joining
Speaker 1: me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys,
Speaker 1: you could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.
Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that
Speaker 1: little like button and the notification spell so that you
Speaker 1: never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have
Speaker 1: a question for me that you would like me to answer,
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yie