Speaker 1: Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Luddington,
Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2: Well, Hello, Hello, Hello, hello everybody, and welcome to another
Speaker 2: episode of Call It What It Is.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to talk to this guest today. I've
Speaker 1: touched many things. I've seen her live, I've seen her
Speaker 1: show and she makes me a laugh.
Speaker 2: I feel like, for me, she was one of the
Speaker 2: first like modern comedians.
Speaker 1: Yeah that I the were female that I knew knew of.
Speaker 3: Yeah, which is crazy to.
Speaker 2: Say we need more, but like, I just feel like
Speaker 2: it was like the name that I knew the most
Speaker 2: back in the day.
Speaker 4: She's a famous comedian, she was very famous. Whitney Cummings.
Speaker 5: Okay, let's bring her in.
Speaker 2: My god, Ahi, yay, it's annoying the glasses, No, not annoying.
Speaker 1: Don't worry mine on so you can be annoyed by
Speaker 1: my reflection.
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, please no, as long as it isn't.
Speaker 5: No, Yeah, Joss, you wear yours too?
Speaker 6: Ohther are great frames.
Speaker 1: Thanks. I had twenty twenty vision my whole life. I
Speaker 1: had to my two parents. My two genetic parents were
Speaker 1: like blind as bats. They got childhood glasses, and I
Speaker 1: was like.
Speaker 3: I got this.
Speaker 4: I'm twenty twenty.
Speaker 1: And then two years ago I had a kid like
Speaker 1: put something in front of my face, but like real close,
Speaker 1: like real close, and I did that thing where I
Speaker 1: pushed my head away, like I can't see that so close,
Speaker 1: And I thought, I'm old.
Speaker 6: Here's the thing, Jessica, I love getting older. I don't
Speaker 6: want to see things. I don't want to see the news.
Speaker 6: I don't want to be old.
Speaker 3: I love God a focus.
Speaker 6: I'm like, good, I don't have to do that. Great. Yeah,
Speaker 6: it's freedom.
Speaker 3: Whitney, you have a one year old?
Speaker 6: I do?
Speaker 3: Did he just turn one? As he Sagittarius?
Speaker 6: Just turn out? My God. I of all the things
Speaker 6: I have done in my life, I have worked so hard,
Speaker 6: my greatest accomplishment is having a Sage baby.
Speaker 3: I'm a Sage baby.
Speaker 6: By the way, I have never had you're having a
Speaker 6: Sage baby. I've never heard. No, I've never heard anyone
Speaker 6: say like, you're having a Taurus baby, Like, what is
Speaker 6: it with sage babies.
Speaker 5: I first off, he's going to be amazing, obviously.
Speaker 3: I know. I.
Speaker 2: Actually he's gonna be really blunt. We're known for being
Speaker 2: really blunt. He's gonna love to travel. But I was
Speaker 2: a good kid. I think we're gonna I think sages
Speaker 2: are good, solid, like grounded kids.
Speaker 6: Do you believe in astrology? Like for real?
Speaker 2: I did not used to, but I do now I do.
Speaker 2: The more people I meet and I'm like, what are you?
Speaker 2: And now I see like the similarities in all the signs.
Speaker 6: So yeah. I also feel like though when someone finds
Speaker 6: out their sign, they do lean into that more. I'm like,
Speaker 6: you know what I'm saying, they get more of a sage.
Speaker 4: It's a confirmation bias.
Speaker 6: Yes, you of course are going to make it sounds smart.
Speaker 6: I'm kind of fascinated by like that astrology. If it's
Speaker 6: the stars and the gravity wherever, fine, But I actually
Speaker 6: think that there also could be another explanation, which is like,
Speaker 6: are like the proximity of our birthdays to other holidays,
Speaker 6: Like because when you're young, your birthday is the biggest deal,
Speaker 6: you know, and the proximity to another holiday, like people
Speaker 6: are like virgos, Like virgos are like they're all about
Speaker 6: work and they're all about being organized. It's like, well,
Speaker 6: my birthday was the first day of.
Speaker 1: School, Like, so you're back to school, back to school.
Speaker 6: So Virgos, you know what I mean. So it's like
Speaker 6: and then Capricorn's like, you know, they're like, you know,
Speaker 6: don't want a lot, they're insecure, they this and this,
Speaker 6: but they come right after holiday year. No one's giving
Speaker 6: them presents. Yeah, on January fifth.
Speaker 4: This is a theory.
Speaker 6: It's kind of interesting. I don't know. That's kind of
Speaker 6: like to me, something that makes it work a little more,
Speaker 6: and like, you know, anyway, I believe it.
Speaker 2: I explain my leoness. I know, I was thinking, I
Speaker 2: have a son who's Leo. Well you're you're you're in
Speaker 2: summer vacation mode, so no wonder your loving life.
Speaker 6: That's it, and no one comes to your party. They're
Speaker 6: like your birthday party. Kids aren't in town. Everyone's out
Speaker 6: of town, so you have to work extra hard and
Speaker 6: like perform. Like from what I understand, Leos are like performers, like.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, charismatic, great with you know.
Speaker 6: And I'm not saying I don't know what happened, you know,
Speaker 6: but yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe something like that.
Speaker 1: So let me ask you a question, just a hypothetical question.
Speaker 1: So if I invite you to my birthday dinner on
Speaker 1: August ninth, and you came to my birthday diner.
Speaker 4: Actually showing the date out so she gets to you
Speaker 4: a gift.
Speaker 1: Go on, I'm just saying that if she came to
Speaker 1: my birthday in August ninth, mm hmm, because we became
Speaker 1: a really good friends between now in August ninth, because
Speaker 1: that's when you'd be invited to my birthday dinner. And
Speaker 1: let's just say that there was a tradition of going
Speaker 1: around the table and each person had to say what
Speaker 1: they loved about me the most.
Speaker 4: Would that be weird to you? Or feel right on?
Speaker 6: Are you the one initiating it? Or does something?
Speaker 3: Yes, yes she is. Why does this matter?
Speaker 6: If a Lee show was like, let's go around everyone
Speaker 6: and say what we love about Jesa. But if you
Speaker 6: were like, hey, guys, guys, guys, let's all go around
Speaker 6: and say what you love about it, that'd be a
Speaker 6: little trick.
Speaker 1: Great, Well, now I have a new I have a
Speaker 1: new strategy for this year.
Speaker 6: Here's the thing. Okay, I like a better do you
Speaker 6: do that every year? I think the better way to
Speaker 6: do it so that people aren't, you know, full of
Speaker 6: shit is I'd have them write it down.
Speaker 3: You have to come with a written note, no, you
Speaker 3: like piece.
Speaker 6: Of the paper and they write it down and then
Speaker 6: or whatever.
Speaker 4: All of this makes Camilla question her friendship with me.
Speaker 4: I can't when I explained.
Speaker 1: What I like out of a birthday and I actually
Speaker 1: don't expect anything.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, hang on, let me just explain to Whitney.
Speaker 2: She used to send people a gift registry list.
Speaker 5: For her own birthday.
Speaker 6: That's sick.
Speaker 1: By the way, bud Way, thank you, thank you, I
Speaker 1: mean thank you, but like, no, thank you next.
Speaker 6: And I shouldn't be like this. I don't think i'd care. Now.
Speaker 6: I got a friend of mine deb won't say her
Speaker 6: last name for her wedding registry. I got her a
Speaker 6: couple of things, and then friends of mine we all
Speaker 6: were like, oh, let's all get her the plates and
Speaker 6: the forks and you know, to together. Yeah. And then
Speaker 6: I go to her house for dinner party and like,
Speaker 6: I kind of expect like the plants to be you
Speaker 6: know what I mean. You kind of want to see
Speaker 6: your gift in action, you know. And I remember being like,
Speaker 6: where are those plates? And she goes, oh, I returned
Speaker 6: them off for a mattress. Oh she should be able
Speaker 6: to do you just be able to do whatever you want.
Speaker 6: But it was just kind of like, I like someone
Speaker 6: just telling me what they want. I appreciate that, I
Speaker 6: don't want to it gets you something you already.
Speaker 3: Have or like fucking dish dub.
Speaker 6: Also, sometimes when people give you presents that you didn't
Speaker 6: specifically request, it can be very insulting, like I.
Speaker 3: Agree, you know, it'll be like what kind of I'm interested?
Speaker 4: What kind of birthday?
Speaker 6: Mom?
Speaker 5: Do you think you're going to be?
Speaker 2: So he's getting bigger, are you going to do like
Speaker 2: the Kardashian like the balloons, with the you know, with
Speaker 2: the circus and the bask What.
Speaker 4: Are you feeling is going to be your birthday mom?
Speaker 1: Vibe?
Speaker 3: Is that what they do?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 3: People here in La Yeah, of course no.
Speaker 1: They go straight to the event planner and they make
Speaker 1: sure that they have a bang in first, second, third,
Speaker 1: all the.
Speaker 4: Way on up.
Speaker 2: But who's it for?
Speaker 6: It for the attendees? Is it for the gram?
Speaker 1: Is it really for the kid that's unknowns?
Speaker 3: Yeah, we don't know.
Speaker 4: I think it's probably Cayse.
Speaker 6: Specific right the photos to show the kid later?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah yeah. I had one real banger and
Speaker 1: it was Eve's fifth.
Speaker 4: How banging was it so, like I said, I was.
Speaker 1: Just reaching into the recesses of the memo.
Speaker 4: So when you say, like was it for the kid?
Speaker 6: Was it for you?
Speaker 1: I wasn't big on Instagram and I don't. I'm not
Speaker 1: big on Instagram for like super super personal stuff. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think that there's a whole world to share, but
Speaker 1: I don't. That's not been where I've done it. But
Speaker 1: I think that I did.
Speaker 4: When you just said that out loud, I think I
Speaker 4: did enjoy by five.
Speaker 3: No, they're there like yeah, but I think it.
Speaker 1: I mean for sure. I mean I would say absolutely
Speaker 1: it was for her, mostly because the entire thing was
Speaker 1: all her favorite things.
Speaker 4: But I done it.
Speaker 2: But then I started because it is it all down?
Speaker 2: Like once you set the bar like is six, if
Speaker 2: you're not going to do it, is it then? Like well,
Speaker 2: where's all the shit?
Speaker 6: You mean?
Speaker 4: Like what what does Eve want now? For like her fourteen?
Speaker 2: It doesn't go Yes, That's the problem with kid's birthday
Speaker 2: parties is like once you're once you're like going all out.
Speaker 5: You kind of have to sustain it otherwise like where's
Speaker 5: where's the balloon?
Speaker 6: Or is it good to like prepare a kid for life?
Speaker 6: Like I'm like, yeah, last year I made a lot
Speaker 6: more money. We got to do that. This year we're
Speaker 6: doing the.
Speaker 4: Chuck e chee.
Speaker 6: How life is? I feel like I'm so different than
Speaker 6: every parent I talk to, or every parent maybe at
Speaker 6: least in like California or something, because I come from
Speaker 6: like the South, like white trash, hill billy shit, where
Speaker 6: it's like you're not friends with your kid. You love
Speaker 6: your kid more than anything, and like my job is
Speaker 6: to protect you. It's not to like necessarily, you know,
Speaker 6: be your homie. Like I'm fully you know, that's a
Speaker 6: kind of small thing. I don't. I see people whose
Speaker 6: kid calls them by their first name. I'm like, what
Speaker 6: is happening? What I don't know?
Speaker 3: It's wild. Oh they're like hey Kim. I'm like what
Speaker 3: Like stuff like that.
Speaker 6: I think for me, like if I've learned anything, maybe
Speaker 6: this's just because I came from like thank you so much, sir.
Speaker 6: I think because I came from such a raging alcoholics
Speaker 6: like like and the energy, Like I didn't care about
Speaker 6: the gifts or that anything, but like watching my mom
Speaker 6: like stress out about like the day before Christmas wrapping
Speaker 6: a bunch of stuff, and like we have to do
Speaker 6: this because it's your birthday and just being like, oh god,
Speaker 6: like I think that if you had fun planning that
Speaker 6: amazing party, that's the best part. It's like I think that, like, yeah,
Speaker 6: we're for our kid, Yes, you know I did.
Speaker 4: I loved that birthday party.
Speaker 6: I figured out a way if you go to a
Speaker 6: kid's party and the mom's like the lady bugs aren't
Speaker 6: here yet, and like that kind of like now now
Speaker 6: you're just modeling for your kid that like a day
Speaker 6: that's insanity should be stressful, you know. So to me,
Speaker 6: like for the first birthday, I was really torn about
Speaker 6: what exactly to do, and because I was like I
Speaker 6: don't want to stress myself out and then not be present.
Speaker 1: You know, well, here's what I can tell you, because
Speaker 1: you're already this is going to be very simple. From
Speaker 1: you know, the ghosts of future of future with my
Speaker 1: older children.
Speaker 4: Now you're just gonna maybe.
Speaker 1: For your son this year for Christmas, like you know,
Speaker 1: wrap like a par of sunglasses.
Speaker 6: But also they're at the point where they like like
Speaker 6: wrapping in the box.
Speaker 3: Better than the thing that Yes, it's so true.
Speaker 6: I can just wrap up a bunch of empty Amazon
Speaker 6: boxes and he'll be happy, like to throw away and
Speaker 6: just try to get the boxes, give.
Speaker 3: Them a remote control.
Speaker 5: And he's like, if you're give him the TV remote,
Speaker 5: that's it.
Speaker 6: That's exactly it, you know. So I kind of that's
Speaker 6: the things that I'm kind of struggling with. Y'all can
Speaker 6: probably you will have like perfect advice and clarity on
Speaker 6: like the Santa Claus thing, like I have a and
Speaker 6: maybe this is a comedian thing, but like I were,
Speaker 6: I just and maybe this is just a perfectionism thing
Speaker 6: of like I was lied to so much as a kid.
Speaker 6: I'm like, do I say the tradition because I love Sanda,
Speaker 6: I love I love all this stuff, but like Easter
Speaker 6: Bunny Santa?
Speaker 3: Well, did you like Santa as a kid?
Speaker 6: No? I I had a very I was like, wait,
Speaker 6: we're not supposed to tart to strangers, but one.
Speaker 4: Is just sitting on the wrong Santa's lap many times.
Speaker 6: I don't even get started off feeling. Do you know
Speaker 6: that I found out you can google you can get
Speaker 6: the criminal records of the Santas in your area.
Speaker 5: My god, oh my god.
Speaker 3: What website is this.
Speaker 6: I'll send it to you. Someone just got it to
Speaker 6: me today. I will get it to you today.
Speaker 3: Don't they do some sort of wait, don't they do
Speaker 3: some sort of like checking of that.
Speaker 1: I think the mall you do.
Speaker 4: I think they just go for it.
Speaker 3: They're like, are you you've a beard? You're in Like,
Speaker 3: it's fine.
Speaker 4: I don't even think they need a beard.
Speaker 6: No, they're like, oh, you just got fired from NAMBLA,
Speaker 6: come work here.
Speaker 3: Whatever it is.
Speaker 6: I just I get I struggle a little bit with
Speaker 6: that because I also want to be the parent. It's like,
Speaker 6: I'm not going to do this tradition that everyone else does.
Speaker 6: And then the kid is like not able to you know,
Speaker 6: fit in or feel a part of something. But I
Speaker 6: I thought it was fishy. I didn't like it as
Speaker 6: a kid.
Speaker 2: I love Santa's big in our house, we're like full
Speaker 2: sand I've like still believe.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, you're I'm.
Speaker 1: Not sure you're talking to the right person because I've
Speaker 1: questioned our lying to children before and she's like, what lie?
Speaker 5: But do you just does it?
Speaker 6: Just go? Because I think I'm also doing the thing
Speaker 6: where like my kid's not going to see a screen
Speaker 6: until they're fifteen. A couple of weeks and you're like
Speaker 6: it might be.
Speaker 4: A little of that. I'm just still in the like yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: there you go.
Speaker 2: I think that it's so magical for them and I
Speaker 2: have really good memories and it's so magical for them,
Speaker 2: and they're so excited.
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, I'm I'm really worried. There's a lot of things.
Speaker 6: I'm just like, I guess I'm gonna trust my instincts
Speaker 6: and get there when I get there, you know. And
Speaker 6: I think that's been the biggest Like God, as soon
Speaker 6: as you become a mom, you start saying journey, like
Speaker 6: the biggest part of this whole, Like, journey is like
Speaker 6: feedback you get online or whatever it is, you know,
Speaker 6: people like, oh mom, Instagram is like brutal and like,
Speaker 6: you know me, I was like, you know, I went
Speaker 6: and so I posted a photo of me going into labor.
Speaker 6: I induced a week early. I really wanted to do
Speaker 6: it vaginally sea sectioned. I was so close to having
Speaker 6: a sea section. If I do it again, I'll probably
Speaker 6: just schedule it like nothing. I just really want to
Speaker 6: try it that way. And I wanted to be able
Speaker 6: to get pregnant faster if I wanted to have another whatever,
Speaker 6: And so I like posted that and I got your
Speaker 6: sea section shaming you induced patas, and at first I
Speaker 6: was like, oh god, I should, but then I was like,
Speaker 6: you know what, this is awesome, Like these people they care,
Speaker 6: Like these people care about this baby they've never met.
Speaker 6: Like this is when women like you know. I mean,
Speaker 6: I was obviously super sensitive because you're, you know, eating
Speaker 6: postpartum depression and you're so emotional, and I'm like, just
Speaker 6: got cut two inches, I'm the healing from a surgery whatever.
Speaker 6: But I think that like for me, it's been really
Speaker 6: important to just be able to like take wisdom and
Speaker 6: not take it personally, like there's a lot I don't
Speaker 6: know and like, and also how to like take what
Speaker 6: you like and leave the rest. I've also gotten the
Speaker 6: most amazing advice from Instagram that I never would have
Speaker 6: thought of. Like people were like, make sure to put
Speaker 6: coconut oil or aqua four on your baby's butthole as
Speaker 6: soon as they come out because the first poop is
Speaker 6: really sticky. I'm like, yeah, like thank you. I really
Speaker 6: need to hear that, you know. So, I've sometimes gotten
Speaker 6: better advice from like women on TikTok or like an
Speaker 6: Instagram comments than doctor. You know. So I think that
Speaker 6: For me, it's just all about going like okay, okay,
Speaker 6: like nobody's wrong.
Speaker 3: You know, it's knowing when to shut it off too.
Speaker 6: Yeah, knowing like that might work. If you want a
Speaker 6: breastfeeda well he's twelve, that's your progative, that's your journey.
Speaker 3: Three months.
Speaker 4: I did as much as I could, you know, like,
Speaker 4: yeah I was a three month or two.
Speaker 5: I was a three months as much as I.
Speaker 6: Could, Like you know, when you tell yourself, like there's
Speaker 6: also a lot of literature that like microplastics are in
Speaker 6: breast milk now, so like oh, like it's just kind
Speaker 6: of figure out what works for you and what helps
Speaker 6: you be able to sleep in night, because I think
Speaker 6: being calm around your child and you know, is thing
Speaker 6: for them. At this point, I was formula fed Similac
Speaker 6: like forty years ago. There's pictures of me and drawers.
Speaker 4: I slept in a drawer. Yeah, I'm from Missouri.
Speaker 6: They're fine, the kids.
Speaker 2: I was given tea because I'm from England, Whitney, even
Speaker 2: though I've lost my accent, and I have pictures of
Speaker 2: me drinking a bottle tea with milk caffeinated at like one.
Speaker 1: Well, and also what was the what did grandma give
Speaker 1: you whiskey? Just give me a little whiskey now and
Speaker 1: then ski. Well, so you're ahead of it, you already
Speaker 1: know all the things.
Speaker 6: No, no, I'm his latest. You know, I have no
Speaker 6: idea what I'm doing, you know. But I think also
Speaker 6: like you know, but.
Speaker 1: You're curious, and I think that that's the thing. I
Speaker 1: think that been parenting. I think whether it's when they're
Speaker 1: pre verbal or when they're giving you a real run
Speaker 1: for your money, because wow, that whole like little kids,
Speaker 1: little problems, big kids, big problems. That's true, and I
Speaker 1: think I actually, speaking of comedians.
Speaker 3: I was wait, little kids, little problems.
Speaker 4: Big kids? Just say that? Why because I'm.
Speaker 3: Seriously because the problems feel so big because.
Speaker 2: She wants to think this is the hard part. I'm
Speaker 2: a four and a six year seven year old. Those
Speaker 2: are small.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna lose my goddamn mind.
Speaker 6: I think though they say like ten years is when
Speaker 6: you have the most impact.
Speaker 7: After that, thank God, because I'm gonna be mad because
Speaker 7: you know, it's pre adolescence because neurobiologically is when they're
Speaker 7: then needing to be okay on their own, because if
Speaker 7: they're not okay, on their own.
Speaker 4: What's gonna happen then? Right, So you've got until then and.
Speaker 6: They love and they have to start. I is called
Speaker 6: identity differentiation, individuation, individuation. And I don't mean to name drop,
Speaker 6: but I was on a going somewhere for like a
Speaker 6: work thing, and Mark Wahlberg's wife was there and she
Speaker 6: was all, my friends with girls are just in dogfights.
Speaker 6: I don't know. I don't know how you do it.
Speaker 6: I would never want to be in a fright now.
Speaker 1: It's going well for me, but I mean, who knows
Speaker 1: what I'll have? What's in store for me?
Speaker 6: Totally? And I and she, you know, they just want
Speaker 6: the opposite of whatever you have. So she like has
Speaker 6: the Chanel purse, and so her daughter wants thrift store stuff.
Speaker 6: It's like, oh, brands are like they just want to get.
Speaker 6: If she didn't have something fancy, that's a.
Speaker 3: Good problem to have, she'd want the Chanel.
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 6: But if you don't have, you want the Chanelle. I
Speaker 6: don't want the thrift store about you know, they just
Speaker 6: want the opposite. There's something that about like the biological
Speaker 6: basis for it being so that predators can differentiate you
Speaker 6: like there's like a deep biological basis for it. It's
Speaker 6: really kind of fat. I believe. There's a book that
Speaker 6: has a very creepy title, it's called The Wonder of
Speaker 6: Girls that uh has all of this literature in it.
Speaker 6: But the books that I read Hunt gathered parent was
Speaker 6: really helpful about just like letting him explore and figure
Speaker 6: it out themselves and only interfere when like real danger,
Speaker 6: you know, is around. It's really helpful for me.
Speaker 3: You know, that was hot. That's hard for me.
Speaker 5: I'm not a good I'm a I'm a helicopter.
Speaker 6: Why do you think in England you have such good
Speaker 6: healthcare you don't even have to.
Speaker 3: Well, I have, like I mean, I have trauma.
Speaker 2: My mom passed when I was younger, and so I
Speaker 2: and she very suddenly and so a lot of my
Speaker 2: my own shit comes from like anything can happen at
Speaker 2: any moment, and I'm getting over that. So in order
Speaker 2: for me to control the situation, you know, I got
Speaker 2: to be there. So it's like, yeah, they can go
Speaker 2: crawl over there, but there's gonna be glass and you
Speaker 2: won't see it, but I'll see it because you know,
Speaker 2: so I'm I have had to I'm way better, God
Speaker 2: bless soul of.
Speaker 3: Way way way better with that.
Speaker 4: But in the early days, it was so hard for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for me, it's like a baby with a cold
Speaker 2: would have like sent me like, I you know, house doctor, er,
Speaker 2: what do I need to do?
Speaker 6: Sure? Sure? Sure? I mean you know for me, I'm
Speaker 6: you know. I read a while back in Tina Fe
Speaker 6: had that book called I think it was in her
Speaker 6: book bossy Pants. It might have been an article. You know,
Speaker 6: she has that scar, and she talked about it right
Speaker 6: like saying a secret.
Speaker 1: But what happened?
Speaker 6: I mean, you know the story is there's some meth head.
Speaker 6: Just don't When she was five playing outside, a meth
Speaker 6: had just ran up to her and her in the face.
Speaker 4: Did you know that story?
Speaker 1: Just wow?
Speaker 6: A child? Oh my god, I'll cry. I think about it.
Speaker 6: A child just playing and then ran off like just
Speaker 6: some crazy drug addict. She says she thought it was
Speaker 6: like a pen and she didn't know what was happening,
Speaker 6: And her therapist said to her, like, when your daughter
Speaker 6: turns five, the age that that happened, you might just
Speaker 6: lose your mind, you know, like kind of like our
Speaker 6: bodies are so smart, they just know yeah, I've never
Speaker 6: talked about it because like, who cares. Everyone's had shit,
Speaker 6: you know. But when I was a year old, i
Speaker 6: ate a quaylude from my dad was like a you know,
Speaker 6: cheating on my mom. And it was at some you know,
Speaker 6: and I went to the hospital and almost died and
Speaker 6: came in all and so just as he's turned one,
Speaker 6: I'm like, I'm just gravel in this and that I'm
Speaker 6: actually like, I'm not beating myself up over it. There
Speaker 6: have been many times I'll look over and he's just
Speaker 6: like about to put a piece of gravel in his mouth,
Speaker 6: and I'm like and I'm like, yes, I try to
Speaker 6: look at neurosi's more as superpowers. I think our body
Speaker 6: is smart. They know what to do all these things
Speaker 6: that men call us crazy, hypervigil and erotic obsessedment, Like
Speaker 6: it all comes in handy. As soon as you have
Speaker 6: a kid, and like you saved their life a few
Speaker 6: times a day, You're like, why don't you call me
Speaker 6: a hero?
Speaker 2: I think that's what's hard too, is like the kids
Speaker 2: prove that they need saving all the time. They would
Speaker 2: eat the gravel.
Speaker 6: Only the anxious survive, you know. And I think it's
Speaker 6: just a matter of you know, and I and I
Speaker 6: think that, yeah, it's our job to be anxious so
Speaker 6: that they don't have to be, you know. So I
Speaker 6: think that like forgiving ourselves is like a real big one.
Speaker 6: But it's been so like healing and cool to like
Speaker 6: not only be able to have awesome connections with women, like,
Speaker 6: you know, I think that being in a job that's
Speaker 6: really male dominated, there was always this scarcity complex and
Speaker 6: I was always like, yeah, can we can we be friends?
Speaker 6: Even though like I feel like it's always like me
Speaker 6: or you you know, Yeah, I was back in the
Speaker 6: day with women there's like one woman on a lineup,
Speaker 6: so it's like if you came around, you were taking
Speaker 6: someone else's job, like you actually were, you know. And
Speaker 6: so now it's been so cool to be able to
Speaker 6: just like connect with women that will just DM me
Speaker 6: on Instagram or come up to me in a grocery
Speaker 6: store and I'm like, can I have your number? Like
Speaker 6: do you want to? You know, it's just so cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, it's it's definitely that the movement. The movement worked.
Speaker 4: I don't know who started, but the cool to be
Speaker 4: kind thing has worked. It's funny.
Speaker 1: I I always ended up working with a lot of women.
Speaker 1: But now that you were talking and I was thinking
Speaker 1: about and I was, I would have modified or from
Speaker 1: my experience, it was like the modification of like there's
Speaker 1: there's only room for like one hot girl characters. There's
Speaker 1: only a room for one funny girl character.
Speaker 4: Like they wanted everybody to.
Speaker 1: Be one thing on some kind of angular in some
Speaker 1: kind of angular way, so that whatever you were, most
Speaker 1: likely because the grass is green, aro on their'side the fence,
Speaker 1: if you were the funny one, You're like, I want
Speaker 1: to be the hot one, always, always one.
Speaker 4: You're like, I wish I was a funny one.
Speaker 3: Never forget the first time I ever.
Speaker 4: Got like my dream.
Speaker 1: This will segue nicely into what I would really love
Speaker 1: to hear about from you. All I ever wanted when
Speaker 1: I was starting out and I moved out to Los
Speaker 1: Angeles and started acting was to be on a half
Speaker 1: hour comedy. That's all I wanted. And I wanted like
Speaker 1: the real like situation, like not like that you hear
Speaker 1: the laugh track, but you actually hear.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I wanted that, Like I just wanted to be Jennifer Aniston.
Speaker 1: That's what I wanted. I wanted to be the next
Speaker 1: Jennifer Instant. And so I tried and tried and tried,
Speaker 1: and I did pilot after pilot that didn't get picked up,
Speaker 1: and then I ended up landing myself on a drama,
Speaker 1: and then it was like that drama then maybe one
Speaker 1: little comedy in between, had been back to another.
Speaker 6: Drama drama, I mean the only one.
Speaker 1: I mean, right exactly, but I remember again, all I
Speaker 1: wanted was to be like at the epicenter of some
Speaker 1: incredibly funny, witty, awesome half hour. And so finally I
Speaker 1: find myself. I'd been doing that play in New York,
Speaker 1: and I had gone up to thirty Rock to audition
Speaker 1: for a new NBC half hour, and and I get
Speaker 1: picked to network test. I finish my play, I fly
Speaker 1: out to la The next day, I go to network test.
Speaker 1: The next day, I get the part. It's for Lauren Michaels.
Speaker 1: It's written by Paula Pell. Hold On, you guys probably
Speaker 1: auditioned for the same stuff. Yeah, maybe, Well, the funny
Speaker 1: part of that one actually was that was that Kate
Speaker 1: Walsh was in the waiting room when I auditioned for that.
Speaker 4: Who That's funny it was on graz not me.
Speaker 1: So anyways, I get the part, and there I am,
Speaker 1: and I'm number one on the call sheet and all
Speaker 1: my dreams.
Speaker 4: Are coming true. I didn't get any of the funny lines.
Speaker 6: Not one. Well, that's the thing is, if you're the star,
Speaker 6: everyone's funny round you. If you want to be the
Speaker 6: funny friend, you want to be second, third, or fourth
Speaker 6: on the call sheet.
Speaker 4: Everyone else was funny.
Speaker 6: You're the straight that sucks.
Speaker 4: I was there to deliver the chicken platter.
Speaker 6: Yeah, no, you're the exposition person.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I told the story, and then everyone divorced a couple
Speaker 6: of years ago, like, you're that person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, Lee, I t up the joke. But Martin
Speaker 1: Bull played my dad, and Sharon Glass played my mom.
Speaker 1: Chris Parnell was in it, and then my sister had
Speaker 1: all the laughs. And then we had this tiny little
Speaker 1: like Chris Parnell said, a friend of mine, you know,
Speaker 1: she's from I can't remember if it was Groundlings or
Speaker 1: Second City, but a friend of mine. She's just out
Speaker 1: here in LA and she's really trying really hard, and like,
Speaker 1: do you think we could give her a little part?
Speaker 1: And everybody was like, yeah, of course, of course, of course.
Speaker 1: So she played like a model booker, and she literally
Speaker 1: her line was like next or something like that, and
Speaker 1: it was Kristen Wig who wow yeah, And then she
Speaker 1: went that that it must have been like the season
Speaker 1: for her to then go to New York where she
Speaker 1: then started and she got a regular.
Speaker 4: She became a series regular and she started and I.
Speaker 1: Remember watching that season and being like I think.
Speaker 3: That girls, yeah, yeah, yeah wild.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, we got canceled after six of the twelve episodes.
Speaker 4: We were supposed to make Good times.
Speaker 1: Well, you'd have no secrets to keep on fast friends,
Speaker 1: but but tell us what you'd tell us what it is,
Speaker 1: tell us what you're doing, what's happening.
Speaker 6: Well, look, I mean, you know, once you I don't
Speaker 6: have to tell you have kids, You're kind of like,
Speaker 6: I guess I need to make something my son can
Speaker 6: watch a bit. Yes, I feel that strongly, like I
Speaker 6: gotta get all this stuff offline, Like I've worked so
Speaker 6: hard to do like six stand up specials and about
Speaker 6: to do my seventh, and you're like, oh god, I
Speaker 6: really want people to watch this until my son's able
Speaker 6: to watch it. And uh, And you know, I was
Speaker 6: just really in a place where like I had you know,
Speaker 6: got sober. Both my parents had passed away kind of
Speaker 6: just like awfully and uh. And then I was pregnant
Speaker 6: and just finally got some time to think, honestly, like
Speaker 6: I've really struggled with workoholism and you know, the busy
Speaker 6: addiction of just like you know, keeping busy at all
Speaker 6: costs and not have to be alone with my own
Speaker 6: thoughts or in a while unrecovered codependence of like okay,
Speaker 6: let me just like fix everyone around me and like
Speaker 6: be everyone, you know, mother, micromanage martyr, myself everywhere. And
Speaker 6: and then I had some time alone with myself and
Speaker 6: I was like, you know, I really and I was,
Speaker 6: you know, working on shows and which I'm still there's
Speaker 6: a couple of TV things I'm gonna do next year.
Speaker 6: But at the time TV, I was like, I feel
Speaker 6: like comedy stop being funny. That doesn't mean they're not good,
Speaker 6: like the Barren Baby Reindeer are amazing, but like I'm
Speaker 6: not like laughing out laugh, you know. And then entertainment
Speaker 6: kind of stopped being entertaining. It started being freachy and
Speaker 6: lectury and not all of it obviously, but there was
Speaker 6: like agendas behind everything, and you know, which is again fine,
Speaker 6: you know, but I was like, can we just like
Speaker 6: make people laugh? Like, why are we lecturing people how
Speaker 6: to vote? Like, I don't, why are we? Why did
Speaker 6: I leave this movie? And now I feel bad about
Speaker 6: climate change? Like I feel like just like there's not
Speaker 6: that much entertainment where there's just like we're gonna make
Speaker 6: you laugh, that's all we're gonna do. We're not going
Speaker 6: to tell you how to vote. We're not going to
Speaker 6: lecture you on anything. And you know, I really want
Speaker 6: to be a part of something that brought people together
Speaker 6: instead of divided them. Where you know, I think most
Speaker 6: things like they want you know, you to you watch
Speaker 6: a show and then you end it with like that's
Speaker 6: not what I thought. Oh that's what you sa Oh
Speaker 6: you think? You know? There was just so much everything
Speaker 6: vis of of course, it's like simplify it. The election happened,
Speaker 6: of course. I just wanted to make something that like
Speaker 6: three generations of people could sit down and all watch
Speaker 6: together and not be a like drama. And so to me,
Speaker 6: I was like, Okay, I feel like nobody agrees on
Speaker 6: anything anymore. I think the one thing we can all
Speaker 6: agree on is that like Friends was a good show.
Speaker 6: So they just came to me kind of randomly and
Speaker 6: you know, and asked me, and instead of overthinking it,
Speaker 6: I don't have to tell you, Jessica, Like there is
Speaker 6: a time where like if you wanted to act, you
Speaker 6: could not host. If you hosted, it was over, you know,
Speaker 6: and you couldn't do anything fun. Like they came to
Speaker 6: me for like Dancing with the Stars. I was like,
Speaker 6: that sounds so fun and they're like no, no, no,
Speaker 6: you can't do that, or like it's over and you're
Speaker 6: like okay. So there were all these rules before and
Speaker 6: then now it's like we're all just Nick Cannon. We
Speaker 6: can all just do anything. You know, was something banks hosting,
Speaker 6: like match game or something else.
Speaker 2: Let's go, Like I agree, and I'm glad by the way,
Speaker 2: because I feel like we are multi hyphen it and
Speaker 2: we can do all the things, So let us fucking
Speaker 2: do it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, let us do it without it being a block
Speaker 5: to something else.
Speaker 6: It didn't occur to me also that things could be
Speaker 6: fun and good. I always thought these hard and ping
Speaker 6: and painful in order for them to be good. And
Speaker 6: I had this sort of like come to you know,
Speaker 6: Jesus moment where I was like wait a second, Like,
Speaker 6: especially with getting some mental health help, I always felt like, oh,
Speaker 6: I won't be as funny, you know, interesting, I'm not broken.
Speaker 6: I won't be as funny if I'm happy and in
Speaker 6: love and in a good relationship, you know. And so
Speaker 6: I also was like, oh, this won't be.
Speaker 4: Because it's the material.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's the fuel, right on some level, because
Speaker 1: it's this, it's it's what you have, which is this
Speaker 1: incredible mind and this incredible acuity and feel for humor
Speaker 1: and what is funny. And then you're going out into
Speaker 1: the world and you're bumping up against all these things
Speaker 1: where you're seeing like that, oh, that piece and that
Speaker 1: piece and that piece, and then you're putting them all together.
Speaker 1: Because I mean, listen, I'm not just saying this because
Speaker 1: I don't just say stuff.
Speaker 4: Stand up is looking hard. Oh like it's the craziest ever.
Speaker 4: And as far as I'm concerned.
Speaker 1: If you can do that, yeah, you can do everything anything.
Speaker 1: You should get a cape and you could fly around
Speaker 1: as wherever.
Speaker 6: I really appreciate that, but I'm also I just I
Speaker 6: can't totally receive that because if you come from a
Speaker 6: certain thing, it's harder to not stand up's not that hard.
Speaker 6: It's like when you like grew up needing to like
Speaker 6: make alcoholics laugh. It's just second nature. I'm not saying
Speaker 6: it's like it's hard for people that don't have that
Speaker 6: kind of trauma. If you do, you're like, it's it's
Speaker 6: so much harder to not be on stage. Right in
Speaker 6: I Love Do I Matter? You're literally like, do I
Speaker 6: I matter? Am I complete piece of garbage?
Speaker 7: You know?
Speaker 6: And then you go on stage You're like, okay, and
Speaker 6: like until tremen just counting the hours to the next
Speaker 6: time you do it. But the help get, the harder
Speaker 6: it becomes.
Speaker 4: I'll say that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard. I've heard.
Speaker 4: I've heard quite a few people say that, you know, and.
Speaker 6: I think that it's it's I think there's also a
Speaker 6: I also thought, oh, it'll get easier the more I
Speaker 6: do it. It definitely does in some ways in terms
Speaker 6: of like I'm better writing jokes clearer, but it doesn't,
Speaker 6: you know, I don't have to sell both of you. Like,
Speaker 6: the more successful you get sort of the higher the
Speaker 6: bar gets in.
Speaker 1: A weird way, and it's more scrutiny and all of it.
Speaker 6: Yes, and the kind of pressure to be like clever
Speaker 6: and original and different kind of changes and and look,
Speaker 6: I'm not I've never played like the girl card of
Speaker 6: like you know, stand ups harder because you're a girl.
Speaker 6: And dah da da, Like it's you know, it's weird
Speaker 6: that it's a male dominated business. I've always found this
Speaker 6: weird because like it is a female skill, Like you're
Speaker 6: you're like going on stage like talking about your feelings
Speaker 6: and you're like complaining about your our thing. That's that's
Speaker 6: an our thing. You want moms on set. They know
Speaker 6: how to diffuse conflict, They move fast, they know how
Speaker 6: to manage their time, Like when there's a drama, moms
Speaker 6: are just like do you need a water?
Speaker 4: That's the thing is that I think that like I
Speaker 4: don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like entertainment is a is the
Speaker 1: most interesting to talk about being like that, yea. And
Speaker 1: yet I have aunts that are lawyers and judges. I
Speaker 1: have friends that are in business and I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: same different shovel.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but I don't I don't know another I mean
Speaker 6: doctors for sure. But sometimes I'm like, wait, so we
Speaker 6: this is a thing. If you're an actress, I don't
Speaker 6: have to tell you this or you're the crew, like
Speaker 6: you do have to get there at six am. You're
Speaker 6: in makeup for two women have to be there longer
Speaker 6: because to be on camera calk and grout and special effects,
Speaker 6: it's attractive. And then you're there six in the morning
Speaker 6: sometimes till like eleven at night. I mean it is
Speaker 6: a wild amount of time. So my thing is always
Speaker 6: just like, let's like does anyone need this much a
Speaker 6: craft service? Like can we just add a couple of
Speaker 6: days to the schedule? Can we add a week to
Speaker 6: the schedule? Like what is this like time crunch? Let's
Speaker 6: just like spend the money a little differently so that
Speaker 6: we can have childcare at work and people can go home.
Speaker 3: That would be a dream.
Speaker 6: People die driving home to Santa Clarita, like, because that's
Speaker 6: the other thing is actor when we wrap, everyone else
Speaker 6: is still has to drive home, and they don't live
Speaker 6: in Beverly. They have to drive an hour, they have
Speaker 6: to drive two hours, you know. So that's what a
Speaker 6: lot of these strikes are have been about, which is
Speaker 6: like you can't you don't count my out time as
Speaker 6: when I left. It should be when I get home,
Speaker 6: so I can actually get that eight hours of sleep
Speaker 6: turn around, you know, so I just think that, like
Speaker 6: it's like when people like, how come women don't play
Speaker 6: football because it's dumb? And we know it's dumb.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm a little bit more straight about this
Speaker 1: stuff because I'm a little bit like I preach, like
Speaker 1: there is no balance.
Speaker 6: Yeah, in any of them. Totally.
Speaker 1: On any given day, I'm gonna have been a better
Speaker 1: mom than I was a worker in whatever I'm working on.
Speaker 1: And another days I work and I come home to
Speaker 1: kids who forgot the eight consecutive days in which I
Speaker 1: was there for every single second and we're.
Speaker 3: Like you were, God, all, yeah, of course this is it.
Speaker 4: I'm like, right, I was.
Speaker 6: And you know what.
Speaker 4: I also never say I never apologize for going to work.
Speaker 4: I hate it, but I very strong.
Speaker 5: Actually you taught me that, and I ever do don't
Speaker 5: ever apologize.
Speaker 1: I do not say I'm so sorry that I have
Speaker 1: to go to work and I'm so sorry I have
Speaker 1: to leave you to go to work. I well, I'm
Speaker 1: lucky because I love my job. Not every single day,
Speaker 1: but I for the most part love my job, and
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that I do. And then I'm able
Speaker 1: to find my place in it that looking at my
Speaker 1: kid and being like, I'm so sorry would send exactly
Speaker 1: the wrong message, because of course I'm always sorry to
Speaker 1: leave them.
Speaker 4: I love being with them.
Speaker 1: I want to smash the litle faces all day long.
Speaker 1: But I gotta go to work, and I go to
Speaker 1: work for lots of reasons. It's not a volunteer job.
Speaker 1: I'm compensated for my job. I create value at my job.
Speaker 1: I bring home the value.
Speaker 6: We can't apologize girls if we haven't done anything wrong,
Speaker 6: because the epidemic of women apologizing sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,
Speaker 6: I'm like, what is like, it's I workshop. I had
Speaker 6: to do a thirty days no apologizing unless you did
Speaker 6: something wrong, because I was like pathological sorry sorry. I
Speaker 6: would run into someone and be like or they'd run
Speaker 6: into me and I'm so sorry I was in your way,
Speaker 6: Like I just you know, it's something that I think
Speaker 6: that we like do to make ourselves feel small or
Speaker 6: whatever it is. But that's cool, that's real, that's that's gnarly.
Speaker 6: But four and six, that's kind of that's young. Young.
Speaker 4: She's four and seven.
Speaker 3: In the trenches, baby, I'm in the trees in the trench.
Speaker 3: It's okay, though I can't.
Speaker 4: Wait to watch your show. I know because I'm a
Speaker 4: big Friends fan.
Speaker 3: So let's tell the listen.
Speaker 4: I want you to tell a listener.
Speaker 6: The Friends, it's like it's like amazing race. But on
Speaker 6: the set of Friends, like Friends Trivia, like everyone that
Speaker 6: I've shown it to because I've watched like cuts, because
Speaker 6: of doing like voiceover whatever, they're like involved and engaged,
Speaker 6: and you know, it's like it's just pure fun, pure bliss,
Speaker 6: no politics, no nothing triggering, nothing, you.
Speaker 3: Know, just where can they watch it?
Speaker 6: On? Max?
Speaker 4: Max?
Speaker 3: And when does it air? What's the first air date?
Speaker 6: It of December?
Speaker 2: All right, Winnie, thank you so much, Thanks o, my
Speaker 2: god so much for coming on and talking about all
Speaker 2: the things with us.
Speaker 4: Come on again the time.
Speaker 3: I would love to of course, of course, thank you
Speaker 3: so much.
Speaker 6: Nice to meet you, Samela, get to see you again.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh good, I really am a huge
Speaker 2: Friends man, and I will be trying to win.
Speaker 5: This from my couch.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, I didn't.
Speaker 1: Well, there's a winning there's a winning component.
Speaker 3: It's so interesting.
Speaker 2: I love I do love it when new mamas, you know,
Speaker 2: you hear them talk because she's a year into this
Speaker 2: whole parenting situation and they come out and they're already
Speaker 2: pretty confident, I know, do you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 2: I love it when I'm like because I remember just
Speaker 2: being so clueless. Still I want to say, like I
Speaker 2: was not feeling it great until almost three, and then
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, I think I'm in some sort
Speaker 2: of rhythm.
Speaker 5: I don't even know if it's a right rhythm.
Speaker 1: But she's so fun Yeah, she's so funny and such
Speaker 1: a quick mind. And I love this just all the
Speaker 1: self awareness.
Speaker 7: I know.
Speaker 1: I feel like I came out parenting like with really
Speaker 1: strong and very sort of like binary ideas about how
Speaker 1: things had to be, kind of like when I came
Speaker 1: out with the voice that you do for me. When
Speaker 1: I found out about the picture, it sound like the
Speaker 1: cookie monster.
Speaker 3: You can't do ye can do this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like I when I first started this whole,
Speaker 1: this whole, this whole Shenanigan called parenting, I was a
Speaker 1: little more like this is the right way, this is
Speaker 1: the wrong way. And I definitely feel like I've learned
Speaker 1: that there is a spectrum, and I I love I
Speaker 1: don't know, maybe a couple of years ago I heard
Speaker 1: this be said by a dear friend, but it's the
Speaker 1: idea that you have strong convictions.
Speaker 4: Yeah, held, I like all loose real list, just like
Speaker 4: all three fingers. That's how loose you're holding fall right through.
Speaker 4: If they're not serving you, they're going to fall right up.
Speaker 4: So you can catch her show on Thursdays on Max.
Speaker 5: Best Friends and so let's call it the end of
Speaker 5: the episode.