Speaker 1: Because your heartbroken. This is really difficult right now for you,
Speaker 1: and so we can't compare. It's always relative to where
Speaker 1: we are in relation to our story in our life
Speaker 1: right now. And for you, this is bad, this is hurting.
Speaker 1: You're struggling. You don't know what to do. But this
Speaker 1: will go, this will pass, You'll make it through. Hang on,
Speaker 1: what's up, guys, Welcome back to the podcast. Thanks for listening,
Speaker 1: watching wherever you're coming from, whatever platform you're using to
Speaker 1: tune into the Granger Smith Podcast. I'm so grateful. This
Speaker 1: is one of my favorite things that I do, is
Speaker 1: to do this podcast and then to see the reaction
Speaker 1: when I post it, and then to see the emails
Speaker 1: come in. What we do on here is I answer
Speaker 1: your question. So if you have a question about anything,
Speaker 1: email Granger Smith Podcast asked at gmail dot com. Could
Speaker 1: be about any subject you'll find out today. We're all
Speaker 1: over the map. If you've listened to a bunch of
Speaker 1: these episodes, thanks for coming back. If you're brand new,
Speaker 1: hang tight, because we get into some deep stuff and
Speaker 1: you could ask me a question about anything. My life
Speaker 1: has been crazy lately. I have so many balls that
Speaker 1: I'm juggling I've been doing a few tour dates, I've
Speaker 1: been doing a few speaking engagements. I'm shooting a movie,
Speaker 1: I'm doing this podcast, I'm doing the Smiths vlog on YouTube,
Speaker 1: and I'm hosting a radio show called After Midnight. So
Speaker 1: you might have heard, you might have heard from me
Speaker 1: or heard of me through one of those platforms, but regardless,
Speaker 1: I'm glad you're here with me because this is a
Speaker 1: special one to me on Monday mornings. Let's get right
Speaker 1: into the first question. First question says hello, I am Zach.
Speaker 1: Recently moved to Wyoming from Colorado, graduated high school early,
Speaker 1: and have some options in front of me. I'm not
Speaker 1: sure which one to choose. I work at a small
Speaker 1: chain of grocery stores, and I have a good relationship
Speaker 1: with the store owner, who has offered a corporate level
Speaker 1: job for me, where i'd be making good money and
Speaker 1: learning a ton. I also have a passion for music, guitar, harmonica,
Speaker 1: and singing. I've considered becoming a worship director at a church. However,
Speaker 1: many churches require a college degree, which is something I'm
Speaker 1: not interested in. I also build guitars and find peace
Speaker 1: in woodworking. Woodworking is where I like to talk to
Speaker 1: God the most and meditate on things that are going
Speaker 1: on in my life. I'm not sure if I should
Speaker 1: shoot big, go to college, or work at a corporate level.
Speaker 1: I'm going to fork in the road. Thank you so much, Zach,
Speaker 1: what's up brother? Thanks for emailing Zach, and thanks for thanks,
Speaker 1: Thanks for trusting me with something so serious in your life.
Speaker 1: Just big, fork in the Road. Shout out to Colorado.
Speaker 1: Love love my people from Colorado and Wyoming. Also it's
Speaker 1: a good state too. You've got a great question here,
Speaker 1: and I think a lot of people can relate to this.
Speaker 1: I don't have any notes in front of me. I've
Speaker 1: not prepped for any of this stuff. So like we
Speaker 1: do on these questions on this podcast, is I'm going
Speaker 1: to walk through this as if you and I are
Speaker 1: just sitting at a campfire together. You know, it's getting late,
Speaker 1: fire is starting to burn down. I'm sitting there around
Speaker 1: the fire and you walk up, Zach, and you go, man,
Speaker 1: can I run something by it? And we just take
Speaker 1: our time and I'm going to tell you my opinion
Speaker 1: on it, and we're gonna talk to them. Not always right,
Speaker 1: but I'm going to tell you the best that I
Speaker 1: know how of this situation from what I know, from
Speaker 1: what you've told me, and all I could really do
Speaker 1: with your question, Zach, is related to my life. What
Speaker 1: would I do, Zach? That's what I would say, what
Speaker 1: would I do? In your situation? And I've been to
Speaker 1: many forks in the road. The best that I can
Speaker 1: tell you is what I've learned is if I'm int
Speaker 1: some kind of fork, and if I'm I'm doubting something
Speaker 1: in my life, and I need to make a decision
Speaker 1: based on just the facts laid out in front of me,
Speaker 1: and I've I've responsibly done my research about these options,
Speaker 1: the different forks in the road. I'm talking pen and paper.
Speaker 1: I'm talking the old school man piece of paper. Here's
Speaker 1: option A, Here's Option B, Here's Option C. Here's here's
Speaker 1: the good from A, Here's the bad from A, here's
Speaker 1: the good from B, the bad from B, and just
Speaker 1: write it out, you know, pen and paper, just digging
Speaker 1: through it. And what I like to what I like
Speaker 1: to know from myself is I like to I like
Speaker 1: to get a reading on how I'm reacting to the
Speaker 1: different options. And this is this is harder to do
Speaker 1: than say, including my life now, But if I get
Speaker 1: nervous about something, if I get a little bit uh
Speaker 1: butterflies in my stomach right like, ooh, that option makes
Speaker 1: me a little nervous. That option is going to require
Speaker 1: a lot of effort. That option has a big payoff,
Speaker 1: but it's going to be a big time commitment for me.
Speaker 1: And then there's another option where I go, ah, man,
Speaker 1: that one does not make me nervous. That one makes
Speaker 1: me feel at ease. That one feels peaceful when I
Speaker 1: just look at it on the page. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to have to do much to get into it. And
Speaker 1: I know once I get it, I'm just going to
Speaker 1: be It's going to be so easy. I have found
Speaker 1: Zach through life. If you choose the harder road, the
Speaker 1: one that makes you nervous, the one that requires the effort,
Speaker 1: and you do this over and over. At every fork
Speaker 1: you come to another fork, there's the road, there's the
Speaker 1: easy road that's going to lead to some peace, and
Speaker 1: there's another road that's going to lead to some work.
Speaker 1: But the payoffice could be crazy, could be crazy good.
Speaker 1: Continue to lean into the one that's harder, And the
Speaker 1: more times you do that, the more times you're separating
Speaker 1: your life from the ordinary, and thirty years down the road,
Speaker 1: when you look back on your life and you're looking
Speaker 1: and you're you're talking with your friends and they're like, Zach,
Speaker 1: your life is insane. Look at all this stuff you
Speaker 1: got going on. Look at the track record you've built,
Speaker 1: look at the look at the friends and family that
Speaker 1: you've influenced. How did you do all this? Well? The answer, Zach,
Speaker 1: For you and for me and for everybody listening, the
Speaker 1: answer is never, I'm just good like that, bro, I'm
Speaker 1: just good. I'm really talented, or man, I'm just really smart,
Speaker 1: or I'm just man, I just I got a knack
Speaker 1: for this. It's never that. The answer is always, I
Speaker 1: took a path a long time ago that I was
Speaker 1: nervous about. It was difficult, that took effort. I took
Speaker 1: the path. I leaned into it, and I took it.
Speaker 1: You know, you could only eat an elephant one bite
Speaker 1: at a time. I took it one bite at a time,
Speaker 1: And slowly those bites get easier and easier, and that
Speaker 1: hard road becomes more clear and more paved for your feet,
Speaker 1: and you're able to walk through life like this and
Speaker 1: look back and go, I have so much to be
Speaker 1: grateful for it so much, to be thankful for so
Speaker 1: many stories to tell because of the path that I
Speaker 1: took was harder, and so one of the first key
Speaker 1: things you could realize through that is what makes you
Speaker 1: what makes you a little nervous. And I'm reading your
Speaker 1: question and you're saying, I like woodworking because that's where
Speaker 1: I could have peace with God and meditate on things
Speaker 1: that are going on in my life. Man, I feel
Speaker 1: that everyone listening feels that, like we all feel that.
Speaker 1: But that's a hobby, and you need woodworking, And I
Speaker 1: encourage you to keep woodworking in your life because if
Speaker 1: that's the place you talk to God, if that's the
Speaker 1: place you could meditate on what's going on in your life,
Speaker 1: don't get rid of it. But I'm telling you I
Speaker 1: don't think you should make a career out of it.
Speaker 1: I think a career is different. You're young, you just
Speaker 1: got out of high school. You're ready to blaze a trail,
Speaker 1: follow the path of your ancestors that came over here
Speaker 1: to this country. You think about your ancestors, the ones
Speaker 1: that first came over on the boat, whatever boat it was.
Speaker 1: Think about that decision as they packed up in Europe
Speaker 1: or Asia, or Africa or South America, wherever they came
Speaker 1: from to end up here in North America. Whenever that was.
Speaker 1: Imagine that feeling that they had, And imagine if they thought,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm just going to stay here in
Speaker 1: this village because this is easier. I don't want to
Speaker 1: have to go to a new land and meet new
Speaker 1: people and fight for land and fight for a job,
Speaker 1: and fight for an existence and carve out my path
Speaker 1: for my family. It's that sounds a lot like a
Speaker 1: lot of work, and that makes me nervous just thinking
Speaker 1: about it. What if they had said that that's you
Speaker 1: and woodworking. So I would make that list and I'll
Speaker 1: get your options out. And the one that buzzes you,
Speaker 1: the one that you go ooh, that gives me a
Speaker 1: little that gooses me a little bit, that gives me
Speaker 1: a little goosebump man that that gives that gives me
Speaker 1: those butterflies, Like that makes me nervous, then maybe that
Speaker 1: one's right. I have done this so many times. I've
Speaker 1: done this, and my earthly brain tells me so many
Speaker 1: times to take the easy path. I'm shooting this movie
Speaker 1: right now. I'm not an actor, there's my first movie
Speaker 1: I've ever been in and it's a major role. It's
Speaker 1: the main role of the film, meaning it's a lot lines,
Speaker 1: it's a lot of script is mine, it's a lot
Speaker 1: of time. And when I first had this opportunity, my
Speaker 1: first thought was no, no, no, no, I have too
Speaker 1: much going on, right. I got the podcast, I got touring,
Speaker 1: I got songwriting, I got this radio show. Ugh that
Speaker 1: a movie thing just doesn't really fit on the plate.
Speaker 1: It makes me nervous, Okay, okay, So I leaned into that.
Speaker 1: I started the movie a few days in the shooting.
Speaker 1: Guess what I thought. This is a lot of work.
Speaker 1: I even told Amber, I said, this is this is
Speaker 1: making me nervous, this is this is hard. Like I'm
Speaker 1: sitting on the plane. I was just i just flew
Speaker 1: to Ohio for a show. I'm sitting on the plane
Speaker 1: just studying my lines. And as I'm studying my lines,
Speaker 1: I'm getting I'm getting anxious, nervous. I'm not talking about
Speaker 1: anxiety or stress. I'm not stressed about it. I just
Speaker 1: get like a butterfly, feeling like right before I walk
Speaker 1: out into a really big stage, I get this little tingle,
Speaker 1: you know, and I go, WHOA, that's the feeling I
Speaker 1: get when I'm reading the script. And I told Amber this.
Speaker 1: I said, it's hard. And then I said, but I
Speaker 1: say on the podcast all the time, do hard things.
Speaker 1: Lean into the hard things. That's your barometers. Act, that's
Speaker 1: your barometer. I would encourage you to try this, and
Speaker 1: then once you take the path, the harder path, there's
Speaker 1: gonna be another one after that, and you're gonna have
Speaker 1: to choose again. And when you do that six or
Speaker 1: seven or eight times, you are going to be so
Speaker 1: far separated from the normal, ordinary life that you could
Speaker 1: have lived. I'm not talking about comparing yourself with others.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about comparing yourself to the version of yourself
Speaker 1: that takes the easy path. And one day you're gonna
Speaker 1: sit there as an old man and you're going to
Speaker 1: look back on all this. You're going to look back
Speaker 1: on the mountain of life that you climbed. You're going
Speaker 1: to look back on your trail and your journey. When
Speaker 1: you're looking at that mountain, you're looking down at that trail,
Speaker 1: Which one do you want to see that you took
Speaker 1: the easy one? I have a hard one. The choice
Speaker 1: is yours. Let's scoot around here. Let's grabe another question.
Speaker 1: This one's from Ian. It says saying, Heyhidi Grangeer. I'm Ian.
Speaker 1: I'm fourteen years old from Pennsylvania. Just started watching. I
Speaker 1: would like to say I'm a big fan of listening
Speaker 1: to your podcast. I also enjoy on my bus to school.
Speaker 1: I enjoyed the podcast on the bus to school and
Speaker 1: it helps me pass the time. Anyway, I just wanted
Speaker 1: to say, when is the next Restoring Earl's Truck going
Speaker 1: to be out? Because I enjoy watching it. Thank you brother,
Speaker 1: Thank you Ian. Shout out to Pennsylvania. I wish I
Speaker 1: could give you a quick answer on this this I'm
Speaker 1: restoring this old nineteen seventy four GMC truck that was
Speaker 1: my dad's that he gave to me, that I had
Speaker 1: when I was sixteen. It was my first truck. I
Speaker 1: drove it sat and it was in a bunch of
Speaker 1: Earl Dibbles videos and music videos, and it started sitting
Speaker 1: in mom's barn. And after dad passed in twenty fourteen
Speaker 1: and I was getting busy with touring, I didn't get
Speaker 1: to give that truck some love, and it just sat
Speaker 1: in the barn and just died, you know. You know trucks,
Speaker 1: old trucks do they just they get mud daubers in there,
Speaker 1: and they get mice to chew up lines, and eventually
Speaker 1: you go out there one day and it won't start,
Speaker 1: and you've got to start digging through to figure out
Speaker 1: what's going on. So when the pandemic hit, I went
Speaker 1: out there and tried to start it and couldn't. So
Speaker 1: I put it on a flatbed trailer and took it
Speaker 1: to the Yege farm and I got Butcher Bull, my
Speaker 1: two bus drivers, and I said, hey, we're off tour
Speaker 1: right now. We got some time during this pandemic. Let's
Speaker 1: create a YouTube series restoring this seventy four GMC. Well, technically,
Speaker 1: first we just wanted to get it started, get it running.
Speaker 1: That was the goal. Let's get it running. And then
Speaker 1: we got it running, we thought, well, you know, as
Speaker 1: we're pulling the engine, pulling different pieces out, pulling the clutch,
Speaker 1: getting new parts, we thought, well, now that we're down here,
Speaker 1: we're in the engine, we might as well pull that out. Now,
Speaker 1: let's get to the transmission. Now let's clean let's clean
Speaker 1: that up. Now, well we're by the frame, we might
Speaker 1: as well take the cab off and grind down the
Speaker 1: frame and then repaint it. And then once we did that,
Speaker 1: we're like, well, we might as well get new exhaust.
Speaker 1: And then we thought, okay, let's take the bed and
Speaker 1: the cabin and the tailgate in the hood, and let's
Speaker 1: get some of this rust off of it, and let's
Speaker 1: paint it. And it ended up being a full restoration.
Speaker 1: So it's taken a lot longer than I thought. I mean,
Speaker 1: we're over a year into it now, but I think
Speaker 1: we're really close. I think we're really close, and I
Speaker 1: can't wait to finish this truck and share it with
Speaker 1: you on my YouTube page. But thank you for karen
Speaker 1: Ian and thanks thanks for giving me the shout out. Brother.
Speaker 1: All right, scrolling right along. I have no idea what
Speaker 1: these are going to say, Guys, I'm telling you, I
Speaker 1: don't know what I'm getting into. I'm just clicking away
Speaker 1: subject line struggles. Hey Grainger, your my name is Alan,
Speaker 1: I'm from Alabama. I've listened to your music a lot
Speaker 1: over the last few years, but I got into your
Speaker 1: podcast because of a TikTok. There was nothing short of
Speaker 1: a sign. For the last four years, me and my
Speaker 1: wife have been trying to have a baby. It's been
Speaker 1: an emotional roller coaster. Last year, we finally got good
Speaker 1: news that she was pregnant, but at her appointment to
Speaker 1: see the child, there was no child to be seen.
Speaker 1: They had to go in and remove our child and
Speaker 1: the tube. Since then, we've gotten pregnant again and my
Speaker 1: wife is doing well. The only thing is I have
Speaker 1: this crippling fear that it's too good to be true.
Speaker 1: I'm reaching out for ways to deal with this kind
Speaker 1: of fear and how to know how to be there
Speaker 1: for my wife. God bless you guys, Alan, Thank you
Speaker 1: for the question. Brother shout out to Alabama, thanks for
Speaker 1: the thanks for listening and the kind words, and it's
Speaker 1: great question. And I feel your brother that this is
Speaker 1: a what you said here is you used crippling, crippling fear.
Speaker 1: What this boils down to essentially, and we could we
Speaker 1: could tackle this kind of question all different ways, and
Speaker 1: I could hit you with all kinds of worldly peace
Speaker 1: and ways to manage it, ways to manage this and
Speaker 1: to a manageable level. But what really boils down to
Speaker 1: the very core of your question is lack of trust
Speaker 1: in God. And you might be thinking, well, my dude,
Speaker 1: trust God but not. I mean, but you don't really
Speaker 1: And I'm not knocking you because I could relate to you.
Speaker 1: So we're all in this boat at some level. But
Speaker 1: anytime we have a crippling fear or it's some kind
Speaker 1: of crippling stress or anxiety, that that is based on
Speaker 1: something that hasn't even happened. Yeah, right, Like when when
Speaker 1: you're terrified, say you're you're terrified to drive on the highway,
Speaker 1: but you've never even been in a wreck before. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're terrified of airplanes, but you've never been in an
Speaker 1: airplane crash. So there's this kind of crippling fear of
Speaker 1: something that hasn't happened. And that's that's you. You you
Speaker 1: have your wife is pregnant, but you have this crippling
Speaker 1: fear of a bad result of something that hasn't happened yet.
Speaker 1: And it boils down to a lack of trust in
Speaker 1: God that he is sovereign, that he's that he has
Speaker 1: a purpose, that your struggle through the lost child is
Speaker 1: not meaningless, it's meaningful. It is preparing you for something.
Speaker 1: And this is what the Bible says, that you're you're
Speaker 1: your struggle, your tribulation is not meaningless. It is preparing
Speaker 1: you for something, right, how well, the same way that anything,
Speaker 1: any kind of adversity prepares us. I mean take football.
Speaker 1: You take a Super Bowl champ and as they hold
Speaker 1: up that trophy with tears in their eyes, why why
Speaker 1: does the football player hold up a trophy when they
Speaker 1: win the Super Bowl and cry like why would you cry? What?
Speaker 1: People look at the TV and go, why's this grown
Speaker 1: man crying and he's holding a trophy. Well, I'll tell
Speaker 1: you why he's crying. He's crying because in game two
Speaker 1: they lost, They lost terribly. In Game four, their starting
Speaker 1: running back broke his ankle and was tough on the team.
Speaker 1: In Game six, they went into overtime with a team
Speaker 1: they shouldn't have gone into overtime with, and they struggled.
Speaker 1: In Game eight, that was the game, it rained and
Speaker 1: it was muddy, and they barely made it out. And
Speaker 1: they had those practices where it was hot or cold,
Speaker 1: and they came together as a team and they earned unity,
Speaker 1: and they learned through each other through adversity, through the
Speaker 1: personal disagreements with each other in the locker room and
Speaker 1: on the practice field, they learned to come together cohesive
Speaker 1: as a team, and they came out victorious in the end.
Speaker 1: On all those struggles, you take them away. Take away
Speaker 1: the losses, take away the injuries, take away the muddy field,
Speaker 1: take away the overtime game, take away that the disagreements
Speaker 1: in the practice. Take all that away, and then hold
Speaker 1: up the trophy. And it's just a trophy. It doesn't
Speaker 1: really matter. It was an easy year. We didn't have
Speaker 1: any fight. It was we just blew. We breathed through it. Yay,
Speaker 1: we won a super Bowl. Nothing. No emotion. Take any
Speaker 1: movie for example, any movie that you've ever seen where
Speaker 1: you felt like crying at the end. Why did you cry?
Speaker 1: Why did you want Maybe maybe not a crier, but
Speaker 1: maybe you wanted to cry. Maybe your girlfriend cried alan
Speaker 1: But why do you cry at a movie? You cry
Speaker 1: because of the redemption that the story brings, because of
Speaker 1: the struggle or the loss or the brokenness that the
Speaker 1: story built in the movie, and through the redemption of
Speaker 1: that character when it came together and it came together
Speaker 1: for good in the end, and you want to cry
Speaker 1: because you feel that struggle. That's why they're struggled, That's
Speaker 1: why there's redemption, and that's why your story. That's why
Speaker 1: the loss of this first child, that's why it matters.
Speaker 1: That's why it's preparing you for something. It's refining you.
Speaker 1: It's like fire. It's burning you like gold and silver.
Speaker 1: So when you come out the other side of the fire,
Speaker 1: that gold is purified, it's better, it's refined. It's in
Speaker 1: a better state than it was before the fire. All
Speaker 1: the tarnish is gone, all the residue is gone. The
Speaker 1: fire made it pure, and that's what struggled us. For us,
Speaker 1: so we don't fear the future something that hasn't happened yet.
Speaker 1: We trust God that he has a plan, he has
Speaker 1: a purpose for us, and that this pregnancy, if this
Speaker 1: pregnancy right now, if it doesn't work out the way
Speaker 1: you want it to, and it might not, it's a
Speaker 1: part of your story. It's a part of your refinement
Speaker 1: and you'll be better for it. And in the meantime,
Speaker 1: you'd be grateful that you're pregnant. There's so many people
Speaker 1: that want to be pregnant and they're not. So many
Speaker 1: people want children and they can't, and here you have
Speaker 1: this little baby grown inside of her. That's how you
Speaker 1: can be there for your wife. That's how you could
Speaker 1: be there for her, say say, babe, I just I
Speaker 1: want to tell you, I'm so proud of you for
Speaker 1: what you're going through. This little baby growing inside you
Speaker 1: and you're taking care of it in this motherly way
Speaker 1: that I can't understand stand as a husband. And I'm
Speaker 1: so grateful that you're my wife. I'm so grateful that
Speaker 1: we're going through this together. And whatever happens, I just
Speaker 1: want you to know your wife, I want you to know,
Speaker 1: whatever happens, I'm with you. I'm in this with you.
Speaker 1: That's what you tell her. We're gonna take a break
Speaker 1: and be right back. Podcast has brought to you guys
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Speaker 1: Make ship happened all right? Digging back into these questions.
Speaker 1: The subject line says relationships, loneliness. Hey, grangeer, my name
Speaker 1: is teen Com. That's a cool name. I'm from Colorado Springs, Colorado.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Colorado again. I'm eighteen years old. I
Speaker 1: don't know what to do about six months ago. I
Speaker 1: had a really great relationship with a girl that lasted
Speaker 1: about two months. We weren't technically dating, but we had
Speaker 1: so much in common and we did a lot of
Speaker 1: stuff together. I would have loved to keep the relationship going,
Speaker 1: but she didn't want to. After that ended, I haven't
Speaker 1: had the desire to date or do anything with friends.
Speaker 1: I've always loved to date and hang out, but lately
Speaker 1: I just haven't. I've been feeling distant and lonely. What
Speaker 1: do I do? Thanks so much? Ye ye, teen com.
Speaker 1: Let's see six months ago? So we're talking. We're talking.
Speaker 1: You're eighteen and this happened six months ago? You dated
Speaker 1: a girl or you're in a relationship for two months?
Speaker 1: Got it? Team coom. What you're feeling is so so normal.
Speaker 1: It's not a strange question. It's not a it's not
Speaker 1: a bad question. It's it's a it's a normal human
Speaker 1: desire normal human question. And I want to tell you
Speaker 1: that time is your friend. Here, time is your friend.
Speaker 1: The fact that you don't want to go out or
Speaker 1: have a desire to date or do anything with friends
Speaker 1: will go away, it will fade, You will get that
Speaker 1: desire back. This is what they call heartbroken. This is
Speaker 1: what it's called. This is this is heartbreak. That's what
Speaker 1: you're feeling. And and we throw that word around all
Speaker 1: the time, and we and we we joke about it,
Speaker 1: and we write songs about it, and we use it,
Speaker 1: and you know, we misuse it and in other ways.
Speaker 1: But the reason they call it heartbroke is because it's
Speaker 1: in your core, your soul, inside you, your heart. You
Speaker 1: could feel it right in your chest. That's where you
Speaker 1: feel it. I don't know who. I don't know who
Speaker 1: coined this phrase a long time ago, heartbreak, but maybe
Speaker 1: someone can google it for me. But you feel it there.
Speaker 1: You don't feel it in your hands, you don't feel
Speaker 1: it in your feet, you don't feel it in your head.
Speaker 1: You feel it in your right in the center of
Speaker 1: your chest. You feel broken. You feel a pain. And
Speaker 1: that's what you're feeling. Brother, You're feeling heartbroken and loneliness
Speaker 1: is associated with heartbreak. So that's a byproduct of this brokenness,
Speaker 1: this heartbrokenness. A byproduct of that is loneliness. Other byproducts
Speaker 1: could be you're not hungry. You're not hungry. You didn't
Speaker 1: say it, but you're probably not eating very well either, right,
Speaker 1: you just don't really want to eat. You're not hungry,
Speaker 1: probably not sleeping very well. You probably wake up in
Speaker 1: the middle of the night, three o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 1: You wake up and you can't go back to sleep.
Speaker 1: That's another byproduct of being heartbroken. So that I know
Speaker 1: for you, it's not only the loneliness, but you're dealing
Speaker 1: with You're not sleeping well, you're not eating well, you're
Speaker 1: missing her, and your friends might be guilt tripping you,
Speaker 1: like Buddy Tink, when are you gonna come out with
Speaker 1: this man? Like you just sit at home all day
Speaker 1: and you don't have a right answer for them, because
Speaker 1: the truth is, you just don't want to And it's
Speaker 1: not that you don't like them, and it's not that
Speaker 1: you wouldn't enjoy their company, and you're just depressed. You're heartbroken,
Speaker 1: you're lonely, you're hungry, you're tired. But what I'm saying
Speaker 1: is this heals itself. As humans, we're resilient. We're so
Speaker 1: resilient we make it through anything. Think of history, think
Speaker 1: of what humans have done, Think of what they have
Speaker 1: gone through through wars, and we always bounce back and
Speaker 1: we are so resilient creatures. It's unbelievable what humans could
Speaker 1: go through, what we could put ourselselves through and make
Speaker 1: it out the other side with So you're six months in.
Speaker 1: It might seem like that's been a long time, but
Speaker 1: you're not there yet. Some people could come out of
Speaker 1: this heartbrokenness in four months, a one month. Sometimes it's
Speaker 1: meeting somebody else. Sometimes you'll meet somebody and go boom,
Speaker 1: you're instantly cured. You feel good immediately because you met
Speaker 1: somebody new, which is hard because during the heartbroken this phase,
Speaker 1: you don't want to go out, so it's harder to
Speaker 1: meet somebody, which prolongs meeting somebody. But you will heal.
Speaker 1: You will heal, hang on, teaingcom hang on. You will
Speaker 1: find the light at the end of the tunnel, and
Speaker 1: then you'll look back and you'll be better because of
Speaker 1: the heartbrokenness. It's just like anything else. It's another form
Speaker 1: of affliction or struggle. And you know we talked earlier
Speaker 1: on this podcast about about losing a child in the
Speaker 1: womb and where you are, Tinkom. Let me just say, man,
Speaker 1: it's always relative to the life. Our struggle is relative
Speaker 1: to the life we're living right now. And you can't
Speaker 1: sit in a room with another guy who lost a
Speaker 1: child a stillbirth or a miscarriage and say that he
Speaker 1: has it worse than you, because your heartbrokenness is really
Speaker 1: difficult right now for you, and so we can't compare.
Speaker 1: It's always relative to where we are in relation to
Speaker 1: our story in our life right now. And for you,
Speaker 1: this is bad, this is hurting. You're struggling. You don't
Speaker 1: know what to do. But this will go, this will pass,
Speaker 1: You'll make it through. Hang on, and if you realize
Speaker 1: that there's power in that, if you realize that you
Speaker 1: have the power over this heartbreak, not the heart, not
Speaker 1: the girl, not the loss, not the loneliness, but if
Speaker 1: you understand what it is that's affecting you. For instance,
Speaker 1: what if you got strep throat? Right, Okay, so strep throat,
Speaker 1: I've had that before. And strep throat is viral, right,
Speaker 1: I know there's viral and bacterial, but the one that
Speaker 1: gets cured by antibotics. Right, So you get strap throat,
Speaker 1: and when you get strap throat, you don't know what
Speaker 1: it is at first, and you you just think, oh, man,
Speaker 1: what is this? What do I have? How long is
Speaker 1: this going to last? How debilitating is this going to
Speaker 1: be to my life? How long am I going to
Speaker 1: be out of work? How long am I going to
Speaker 1: be bed ridden? I don't feel good, I don't want
Speaker 1: to do anything. And then you go to the doctor
Speaker 1: and he goes, we tested you, and you have strep throat,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna give you antibotics, and in twenty four
Speaker 1: hours you're going to be feeling good. You'll be you
Speaker 1: won't be contagious after twenty four hours, and your symptoms
Speaker 1: will be drastically gone and you'll feel better. So then
Speaker 1: when you go home that night and you take those
Speaker 1: antibotics and you lay in bed, you still feel the
Speaker 1: same fatigue and the same sickness, But since your mind
Speaker 1: has conquered it, because you know now what it is
Speaker 1: that's causing the affliction, you go just twenty four hours,
Speaker 1: I got this, Yes I hurt, Yes I got achy legs.
Speaker 1: Yes I don't have an appetite, but I know it's
Speaker 1: strep throat. I've taken the antibotics. Now I'm watching the
Speaker 1: clock and I know that my time's almost up, and
Speaker 1: in eight more hours, my system is going to kick
Speaker 1: it because these antibotics, and I'm gonna be good. And
Speaker 1: because of that, that knowledge gets you through it. So
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to tell you is that you're dealing
Speaker 1: with heartache and this will go away. And so when
Speaker 1: you go to sleep tonight and you can't sleep, or
Speaker 1: you can't eat, or you don't want to go out
Speaker 1: with your friends and you feel lonely, think to yourself,
Speaker 1: this is heartache and it will go away, and I'll
Speaker 1: come back out and I'll be right back out. I'll
Speaker 1: be eating pizza with my bros In no time. There's
Speaker 1: power in knowing that, buddy, great question. Let's move on
Speaker 1: here in the inbox. If you have a question for me,
Speaker 1: email Granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com and we'll
Speaker 1: dig into it. This one subject line is a manchild,
Speaker 1: A manchild. It says keep my name anonymous please. I'm
Speaker 1: from Cleveland, Ohio. I started talking to this guy during
Speaker 1: the middle of last year. We never moved past the
Speaker 1: talking stage, as it seems let me say that again.
Speaker 1: We didn't move past the talking stage, as it seemed
Speaker 1: like we wanted the same things. But I was ready
Speaker 1: for that immediately, and he seems to be still enjoying
Speaker 1: his mid twenties at the bars and going out with friends.
Speaker 1: He's never made time to hang out, so I constantly
Speaker 1: feel rejected, although he told me I was perfect and
Speaker 1: we were meant to be countless times. We recently started
Speaker 1: talking again, as he seems to settle down a little
Speaker 1: bit while taking classes. But a couple of weeks ago
Speaker 1: he finished classes and has some thinking. You said not
Speaker 1: return to the party life with friends. I'm thinking you said,
Speaker 1: now that's what you probably meant. A couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 1: he finished classes and has now returned to the party
Speaker 1: life with friends and at the bars. I feel there
Speaker 1: is a lot of potential and I don't want to
Speaker 1: walk away. However, his actions don't seem to match his words,
Speaker 1: and I'm afraid he's just telling me what I want
Speaker 1: to hear. What do I do? All right? All right?
Speaker 1: Anonymous shout out to Ohio, good question. Let me review
Speaker 1: the timeline. Started talking to this guy middle of last year. Okay, okay, cool.
Speaker 1: So you know this relationship's got red flags all over it, Anonymous,
Speaker 1: But you know that and that's why you emailed because
Speaker 1: it's on your mind. And the problem is you think
Speaker 1: the relationship has a lot of potential and you don't
Speaker 1: want to walk away, so that's why you're emailing. I
Speaker 1: just want to say, for this dating phase, this like
Speaker 1: honeymoon phase, middle of last year is a long time ago.
Speaker 1: Like a lot of people would be married by now
Speaker 1: if they met middle of last year. Not maybe not
Speaker 1: a lot, but there are people that would meet and
Speaker 1: date for three or four five months, get engaged for
Speaker 1: three or four five months, and be married. So the
Speaker 1: timeline here is not really in your favor, Like you
Speaker 1: should know something by now if this dude is good
Speaker 1: or not for you and your job right now, Anonymous.
Speaker 1: Your job in the dating sphere is for you to
Speaker 1: find the right guy that's going to be your husband.
Speaker 1: That's your sole requirement when it comes to dating. It
Speaker 1: is I don't know how old you are, but this
Speaker 1: is not about it's not about you enjoying dating for
Speaker 1: what it is. You're not just like I like dating
Speaker 1: because I just like to see a bunch of people
Speaker 1: and go out and have dinner and have fun, because
Speaker 1: you're not doing that because you're worried about this. If
Speaker 1: that's what you thought, then you wouldn't be emailing me
Speaker 1: worried about walking away from this guy. So your sole
Speaker 1: intention is marriage, that's the goal. Looking for a guy
Speaker 1: that is going to be a viable husband for the
Speaker 1: rest of your life and God willing the father of
Speaker 1: your children. Am I right? Okay? And this guy's not
Speaker 1: fair and too well in that category and you're you're
Speaker 1: probably maybe you're thinking, I don't know, maybe I'm not
Speaker 1: good enough for another guy. Wrong, don't think that. Don't
Speaker 1: go there. Don't go there, because we start dating sometimes
Speaker 1: we start dating people that we think are the mirror
Speaker 1: image of what we deserve. And so what are you
Speaker 1: seeing in the mirror when you look at yourself. You're
Speaker 1: seeing this man. That's what you're seeing, that this man
Speaker 1: that is a man child in his mid twenties that
Speaker 1: loves to go to bars and hang out with his
Speaker 1: friends and not hang out with you. And somehow you're
Speaker 1: looking in the mirror and the reflection you're seeing back
Speaker 1: is what you think that you deserve. That you're seeing,
Speaker 1: and I'm here to tell you that you deserve better
Speaker 1: than that. And so when you look in the mirror,
Speaker 1: now you go, no, I am special. I have the
Speaker 1: potential to be a great wife, for somebody to be
Speaker 1: a great mother, and I don't need somebody that likes
Speaker 1: to hang out and be a man child. And so
Speaker 1: my suggestion to you, Anonymous now is to give this
Speaker 1: guy an ultimatum and say it just like you told me.
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with what you told me. We'll sit
Speaker 1: him down and go, look, I really like you a lot,
Speaker 1: and as you said, I feel like there's a lot
Speaker 1: of potential in this relationship. What that potential is me,
Speaker 1: I don't know. This is granger talking not you don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know because I'm not with you. But you
Speaker 1: could be specific about what that potential is. This and
Speaker 1: this and this, and I just think I think you're
Speaker 1: a great guy. But here's the butt. I don't I
Speaker 1: don't appreciate being put on the back burner. If this
Speaker 1: is something that's going to last, this is a relationship
Speaker 1: that has legs and longevity, I don't appreciate being on
Speaker 1: the back burner of it. And that's what I feel
Speaker 1: like I feel like I feel like I'm your fifth
Speaker 1: or sixth priority in life right now? Is that true?
Speaker 1: And he's gonna say, no, no, no, You're great and
Speaker 1: go well. Your your actions are going to speak louder
Speaker 1: than your words here because you you love to spend
Speaker 1: so much time with your friends, and maybe maybe you're
Speaker 1: not ready for a relationship. And I want to give
Speaker 1: you an ultimatum. I'm gonna say right here today, I
Speaker 1: want to hear from you that this matters to you,
Speaker 1: that I matter to you, and that this is on
Speaker 1: a path of me getting an engagement ring. Oh that's
Speaker 1: maybe that's too much. This is on a path of
Speaker 1: something that's going to lead down a long road for us. Okay,
Speaker 1: don't scare him with the engagement ring. Talk and see
Speaker 1: what he says. Put him on the line, you know,
Speaker 1: put him right there on the spot. What he says.
Speaker 1: I if I was a guy, and if I was
Speaker 1: I am a guy, if I if I was in
Speaker 1: his shoes, I would respect that. I would respect that.
Speaker 1: I would, I would say I would. I would want
Speaker 1: to shoot them straight. And Guys, I've been told this
Speaker 1: before by old girlfriends a long time ago. I've been
Speaker 1: told this because I'm sure I had my share of
Speaker 1: manchild years. You know, I definitely had my share of
Speaker 1: loving music more than anything else and chasing tour dates
Speaker 1: and chasing you know, empty stages more than the girlfriend.
Speaker 1: And so there was several several girls you know, that
Speaker 1: I that I would date, that I wasn't that serious
Speaker 1: about it, and they caught on quickly that I was.
Speaker 1: I could cancel a Valentine's dinner to go, you know,
Speaker 1: take a tour date for two hundred dollars. And they
Speaker 1: had to say straight up like, hey, I don't feel
Speaker 1: like I'm a priority. And and I might have thought, well,
Speaker 1: you're great, this is fun, and they said that if
Speaker 1: they said you're you don't make me feel like a
Speaker 1: priority at that moment, I would have to be honest
Speaker 1: and go, you're right, you're right. I love my friends,
Speaker 1: I love hanging out with them, I love my job,
Speaker 1: I love my work, and I love you equal to that,
Speaker 1: but not anything more than that, right, And that might
Speaker 1: be the answer you get. And hey, if you get
Speaker 1: that answer, good, then you go and you have a
Speaker 1: whole heart when you leave, and you feel you feel
Speaker 1: confident that you're walking away from a relationship that wasn't
Speaker 1: going to go anywhere, and good for you. You're back
Speaker 1: on the market again. You're ready to find the next guy,
Speaker 1: and you're going to learn with the next guy. You're
Speaker 1: going to learn from this guy. You're gonna learn a
Speaker 1: little bit more of what you need and dating. You
Speaker 1: go through these relationships and every time you get out
Speaker 1: of one, you learn a little bit more about who
Speaker 1: you are and what you need and what you deserve
Speaker 1: and and and how to be respected, and you get
Speaker 1: better every time. So I would sit him down and
Speaker 1: give him this ultimatum and don't let him lie to you.
Speaker 1: You'll know if he's lying, and if he does lie
Speaker 1: to you, you'll know it in a few weeks because
Speaker 1: he'll go back to his old ways. And then you
Speaker 1: could bring it up again and go, remember when I
Speaker 1: talk to you about this, and he'll go yeah, and
Speaker 1: then you'll go, I'm sorry, this is over. I gotta go.
Speaker 1: And it's sad to me because I thought we had
Speaker 1: a lot of potential. But I have to go because
Speaker 1: I gave you an ultimatum two weeks ago, you agreed,
Speaker 1: and now you're back at it. Anonymous. It's as easy
Speaker 1: as that and it's hard to do. But that's the
Speaker 1: mathematic formula for you. You give him the ultimatium. You
Speaker 1: don't let him lie. If he does lie, you'll know
Speaker 1: in two weeks. And then you walk and you don't
Speaker 1: look back. You close the door and you walk, don't
Speaker 1: look back, and you're better for it. Let's grab another wow,
Speaker 1: which direction should we go? Let's see a lot of
Speaker 1: relationship questions in here. I see in the subject lines.
Speaker 1: Let's see there's a trust in God question? Maybe I
Speaker 1: wish you hit that. Okay, Why can I not trust
Speaker 1: God when this is all I want to do? The
Speaker 1: question is I have recently found your podcast and it's
Speaker 1: been such a blessing. I have been born again and
Speaker 1: faithfully serving Him for fifteen years. I want to reach
Speaker 1: out to you get your opinion. I'm twenty seven years old,
Speaker 1: pretty successful in my career for my age. God has
Speaker 1: blessed me beyond measure in my career, and all the
Speaker 1: glory be to Him for that. I've worked for my
Speaker 1: current employer for almost eight years. Unfortunately, my work environment
Speaker 1: is nothing short of toxic. The senior management lack management,
Speaker 1: lacks morals and integrity, does not value their employees, and
Speaker 1: I'm not confident in my current workspace. I would like
Speaker 1: to leave, but I'm extremely scared. I know that my
Speaker 1: value is in Christ alone, but I also value my
Speaker 1: professional career and have worked to climb to the top.
Speaker 1: The enemy is using all my insecurities against me, and
Speaker 1: it's making me extremely making it extremely difficult to let
Speaker 1: go and allow God to direct me where I need
Speaker 1: to be. In short, how can I overpower my anxiety field,
Speaker 1: controlling insecure heart and trust in Christ for my future? Well?
Speaker 1: Did you say your name? I won't say your name
Speaker 1: because you didn't say your name, but you said it.
Speaker 1: That last line is that's pretty good. In short, how
Speaker 1: can I overpower my anxiety field, controlling insecure heart and
Speaker 1: trust Christ for my future? That is the question for
Speaker 1: all of us. Right if we could answer that, guess what?
Speaker 1: If we can answer that, guess what you get? Peace? Peace.
Speaker 1: So Philippians four to six through seven. Look it up.
Speaker 1: Philippians four six through seven. Look it up, because it's
Speaker 1: going to tell you do not worry about anything, but
Speaker 1: in everything, by prayer, supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request
Speaker 1: be made known to God. And the peace of God,
Speaker 1: which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your
Speaker 1: minds in Christ Jesus. That's how you do it. Doing
Speaker 1: it is you got to dig. You got to dig.
Speaker 1: But that's your roadmap on how to do it right.
Speaker 1: So prayer, supplication, with thanksgiving, you give the glory to God.
Speaker 1: You worship him. You say you are the creator. You
Speaker 1: have a plan. I need. I need to know direction
Speaker 1: in this job. I feel insecure in this job. I
Speaker 1: feel undervalued in this job. But I'm thankful to have
Speaker 1: the job, and I'm thankful that you have provided it.
Speaker 1: Show me your path, that's your's that's what you say,
Speaker 1: that's your prayer, and the result is peace. Peace, and
Speaker 1: that's what you're after here is peace. I don't I
Speaker 1: don't know. I haven't talked to you in person, so
Speaker 1: I don't know. If I sit here and tell you, yes,
Speaker 1: walk away from this job, I can tell you that
Speaker 1: your fear of leaving the job is nothing but fear.
Speaker 1: And what did Roosevelt say? There is nothing to fear
Speaker 1: but fear itself. And that's true. There's nothing to fear
Speaker 1: but fear itself. And fear is nothing but just fear.
Speaker 1: It's doesn't nothing has happened. Yet you're scared of leaving
Speaker 1: a job, but you don't even know if that's a
Speaker 1: good or bad thing. I mean, maybe maybe it's a
Speaker 1: great thing, Like maybe leaving this job opens up the
Speaker 1: door to an incredible career that you're forever thankful for.
Speaker 1: And you look back and you go, I wouldn't have
Speaker 1: had this job if I didn't leave the other one.
Speaker 1: I understand that you've worked up the ladder and you've
Speaker 1: put so much effort into it, but it's not about
Speaker 1: your effort that you put into it. It's you. You You
Speaker 1: are the effort. You are the value. Sometimes as humans,
Speaker 1: we start to think that our value is what we've built,
Speaker 1: Like all the little things that we've collected and added
Speaker 1: and put together and historically lined up in our in
Speaker 1: our past is our value. But it's not. We are
Speaker 1: the value currently presently, we're the value. So whatever you built,
Speaker 1: whatever you did, you could build again, why because you
Speaker 1: already did it once. Yeah. That's hard, of course, it's hard.
Speaker 1: Life is hard. Life isn't fair. Life is difficult, But
Speaker 1: we push on because when we hold up that Super
Speaker 1: Bowl trophy, that's when we cry because we go, we
Speaker 1: made it. Victory we're holding the trophy with tears in
Speaker 1: our eyes because we went through trials. We had to
Speaker 1: get out of that job, and we put our sweat
Speaker 1: and tears into that job. We worked so hard to
Speaker 1: climb that ladder and we had to let it go.
Speaker 1: But we got this new one, and we started over
Speaker 1: from scratch, from the ground up. We built this thing
Speaker 1: all over again. And I repeated this ladder and I
Speaker 1: got less pay and I didn't feel like I deserved it,
Speaker 1: but I worked at it because I wanted to do
Speaker 1: it again and I knew I could. How did I know?
Speaker 1: Because I did it before. So I started over and
Speaker 1: I built it again, brick by brick, and now here
Speaker 1: I am and I did it, and I got tears
Speaker 1: in my eyes holding the trophy. That's your story. It's like,
Speaker 1: well do you do? What do you do? If you
Speaker 1: build a wall, a brick wall, a beautiful brick wall,
Speaker 1: and it gets knocked down, There's only one thing you do.
Speaker 1: You get the bricks off the ground, one by one
Speaker 1: and you start again. And the longer you stare at
Speaker 1: that pile of bricks, the harder it's going to be
Speaker 1: to put it back together. You shake yourself off you
Speaker 1: wipe the sweat off your brow, and you pick up
Speaker 1: one brick at a time, and you start the wall
Speaker 1: all over again. You could do it. Love you guys,
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. We'll see you every single Monday morning.
Speaker 1: Ye ye, thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast.
Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me
Speaker 1: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and
Speaker 1: the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I
Speaker 1: upload a video. If you have a question for me
Speaker 1: that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Yie