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Speaker 1: Because your heartbroken. This is really difficult right now for you,

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Speaker 1: and so we can't compare. It's always relative to where

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Speaker 1: we are in relation to our story in our life

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Speaker 1: right now. And for you, this is bad, this is hurting.

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Speaker 1: You're struggling. You don't know what to do. But this

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Speaker 1: will go, this will pass, You'll make it through. Hang on,

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Speaker 1: what's up, guys, Welcome back to the podcast. Thanks for listening,

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Speaker 1: watching wherever you're coming from, whatever platform you're using to

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Speaker 1: tune into the Granger Smith Podcast. I'm so grateful. This

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Speaker 1: is one of my favorite things that I do, is

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Speaker 1: to do this podcast and then to see the reaction

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Speaker 1: when I post it, and then to see the emails

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Speaker 1: come in. What we do on here is I answer

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Speaker 1: your question. So if you have a question about anything,

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Speaker 1: email Granger Smith Podcast asked at gmail dot com. Could

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Speaker 1: be about any subject you'll find out today. We're all

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Speaker 1: over the map. If you've listened to a bunch of

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Speaker 1: these episodes, thanks for coming back. If you're brand new,

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Speaker 1: hang tight, because we get into some deep stuff and

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Speaker 1: you could ask me a question about anything. My life

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Speaker 1: has been crazy lately. I have so many balls that

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Speaker 1: I'm juggling I've been doing a few tour dates, I've

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Speaker 1: been doing a few speaking engagements. I'm shooting a movie,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing this podcast, I'm doing the Smiths vlog on YouTube,

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Speaker 1: and I'm hosting a radio show called After Midnight. So

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Speaker 1: you might have heard, you might have heard from me

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Speaker 1: or heard of me through one of those platforms, but regardless,

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you're here with me because this is a

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Speaker 1: special one to me on Monday mornings. Let's get right

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Speaker 1: into the first question. First question says hello, I am Zach.

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Speaker 1: Recently moved to Wyoming from Colorado, graduated high school early,

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Speaker 1: and have some options in front of me. I'm not

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Speaker 1: sure which one to choose. I work at a small

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Speaker 1: chain of grocery stores, and I have a good relationship

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Speaker 1: with the store owner, who has offered a corporate level

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Speaker 1: job for me, where i'd be making good money and

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Speaker 1: learning a ton. I also have a passion for music, guitar, harmonica,

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Speaker 1: and singing. I've considered becoming a worship director at a church. However,

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Speaker 1: many churches require a college degree, which is something I'm

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Speaker 1: not interested in. I also build guitars and find peace

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Speaker 1: in woodworking. Woodworking is where I like to talk to

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Speaker 1: God the most and meditate on things that are going

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Speaker 1: on in my life. I'm not sure if I should

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Speaker 1: shoot big, go to college, or work at a corporate level.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to fork in the road. Thank you so much, Zach,

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Speaker 1: what's up brother? Thanks for emailing Zach, and thanks for thanks,

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Speaker 1: Thanks for trusting me with something so serious in your life.

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Speaker 1: Just big, fork in the Road. Shout out to Colorado.

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Speaker 1: Love love my people from Colorado and Wyoming. Also it's

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Speaker 1: a good state too. You've got a great question here,

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Speaker 1: and I think a lot of people can relate to this.

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Speaker 1: I don't have any notes in front of me. I've

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Speaker 1: not prepped for any of this stuff. So like we

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Speaker 1: do on these questions on this podcast, is I'm going

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Speaker 1: to walk through this as if you and I are

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Speaker 1: just sitting at a campfire together. You know, it's getting late,

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Speaker 1: fire is starting to burn down. I'm sitting there around

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Speaker 1: the fire and you walk up, Zach, and you go, man,

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Speaker 1: can I run something by it? And we just take

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Speaker 1: our time and I'm going to tell you my opinion

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Speaker 1: on it, and we're gonna talk to them. Not always right,

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Speaker 1: but I'm going to tell you the best that I

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Speaker 1: know how of this situation from what I know, from

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Speaker 1: what you've told me, and all I could really do

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Speaker 1: with your question, Zach, is related to my life. What

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Speaker 1: would I do, Zach? That's what I would say, what

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Speaker 1: would I do? In your situation? And I've been to

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Speaker 1: many forks in the road. The best that I can

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Speaker 1: tell you is what I've learned is if I'm int

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Speaker 1: some kind of fork, and if I'm I'm doubting something

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Speaker 1: in my life, and I need to make a decision

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Speaker 1: based on just the facts laid out in front of me,

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Speaker 1: and I've I've responsibly done my research about these options,

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Speaker 1: the different forks in the road. I'm talking pen and paper.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking the old school man piece of paper. Here's

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Speaker 1: option A, Here's Option B, Here's Option C. Here's here's

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Speaker 1: the good from A, Here's the bad from A, here's

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Speaker 1: the good from B, the bad from B, and just

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Speaker 1: write it out, you know, pen and paper, just digging

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Speaker 1: through it. And what I like to what I like

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Speaker 1: to know from myself is I like to I like

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Speaker 1: to get a reading on how I'm reacting to the

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Speaker 1: different options. And this is this is harder to do

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Speaker 1: than say, including my life now, But if I get

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Speaker 1: nervous about something, if I get a little bit uh

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Speaker 1: butterflies in my stomach right like, ooh, that option makes

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Speaker 1: me a little nervous. That option is going to require

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Speaker 1: a lot of effort. That option has a big payoff,

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Speaker 1: but it's going to be a big time commitment for me.

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Speaker 1: And then there's another option where I go, ah, man,

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Speaker 1: that one does not make me nervous. That one makes

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Speaker 1: me feel at ease. That one feels peaceful when I

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Speaker 1: just look at it on the page. I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to have to do much to get into it. And

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Speaker 1: I know once I get it, I'm just going to

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Speaker 1: be It's going to be so easy. I have found

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Speaker 1: Zach through life. If you choose the harder road, the

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Speaker 1: one that makes you nervous, the one that requires the effort,

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Speaker 1: and you do this over and over. At every fork

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Speaker 1: you come to another fork, there's the road, there's the

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Speaker 1: easy road that's going to lead to some peace, and

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Speaker 1: there's another road that's going to lead to some work.

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Speaker 1: But the payoffice could be crazy, could be crazy good.

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Speaker 1: Continue to lean into the one that's harder, And the

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Speaker 1: more times you do that, the more times you're separating

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Speaker 1: your life from the ordinary, and thirty years down the road,

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Speaker 1: when you look back on your life and you're looking

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Speaker 1: and you're you're talking with your friends and they're like, Zach,

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Speaker 1: your life is insane. Look at all this stuff you

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Speaker 1: got going on. Look at the track record you've built,

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Speaker 1: look at the look at the friends and family that

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Speaker 1: you've influenced. How did you do all this? Well? The answer, Zach,

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Speaker 1: For you and for me and for everybody listening, the

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Speaker 1: answer is never, I'm just good like that, bro, I'm

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Speaker 1: just good. I'm really talented, or man, I'm just really smart,

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Speaker 1: or I'm just man, I just I got a knack

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Speaker 1: for this. It's never that. The answer is always, I

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Speaker 1: took a path a long time ago that I was

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Speaker 1: nervous about. It was difficult, that took effort. I took

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Speaker 1: the path. I leaned into it, and I took it.

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Speaker 1: You know, you could only eat an elephant one bite

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Speaker 1: at a time. I took it one bite at a time,

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Speaker 1: And slowly those bites get easier and easier, and that

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Speaker 1: hard road becomes more clear and more paved for your feet,

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Speaker 1: and you're able to walk through life like this and

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Speaker 1: look back and go, I have so much to be

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Speaker 1: grateful for it so much, to be thankful for so

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Speaker 1: many stories to tell because of the path that I

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Speaker 1: took was harder, and so one of the first key

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Speaker 1: things you could realize through that is what makes you

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Speaker 1: what makes you a little nervous. And I'm reading your

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Speaker 1: question and you're saying, I like woodworking because that's where

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Speaker 1: I could have peace with God and meditate on things

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Speaker 1: that are going on in my life. Man, I feel

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Speaker 1: that everyone listening feels that, like we all feel that.

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Speaker 1: But that's a hobby, and you need woodworking, And I

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Speaker 1: encourage you to keep woodworking in your life because if

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Speaker 1: that's the place you talk to God, if that's the

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Speaker 1: place you could meditate on what's going on in your life,

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Speaker 1: don't get rid of it. But I'm telling you I

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Speaker 1: don't think you should make a career out of it.

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Speaker 1: I think a career is different. You're young, you just

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Speaker 1: got out of high school. You're ready to blaze a trail,

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Speaker 1: follow the path of your ancestors that came over here

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Speaker 1: to this country. You think about your ancestors, the ones

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Speaker 1: that first came over on the boat, whatever boat it was.

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Speaker 1: Think about that decision as they packed up in Europe

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Speaker 1: or Asia, or Africa or South America, wherever they came

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Speaker 1: from to end up here in North America. Whenever that was.

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Speaker 1: Imagine that feeling that they had, And imagine if they thought,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I'm just going to stay here in

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Speaker 1: this village because this is easier. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: have to go to a new land and meet new

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Speaker 1: people and fight for land and fight for a job,

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Speaker 1: and fight for an existence and carve out my path

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Speaker 1: for my family. It's that sounds a lot like a

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Speaker 1: lot of work, and that makes me nervous just thinking

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Speaker 1: about it. What if they had said that that's you

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Speaker 1: and woodworking. So I would make that list and I'll

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Speaker 1: get your options out. And the one that buzzes you,

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Speaker 1: the one that you go ooh, that gives me a

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Speaker 1: little that gooses me a little bit, that gives me

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Speaker 1: a little goosebump man that that gives that gives me

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Speaker 1: those butterflies, Like that makes me nervous, then maybe that

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Speaker 1: one's right. I have done this so many times. I've

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Speaker 1: done this, and my earthly brain tells me so many

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Speaker 1: times to take the easy path. I'm shooting this movie

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Speaker 1: right now. I'm not an actor, there's my first movie

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Speaker 1: I've ever been in and it's a major role. It's

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Speaker 1: the main role of the film, meaning it's a lot lines,

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Speaker 1: it's a lot of script is mine, it's a lot

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Speaker 1: of time. And when I first had this opportunity, my

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Speaker 1: first thought was no, no, no, no, I have too

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Speaker 1: much going on, right. I got the podcast, I got touring,

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Speaker 1: I got songwriting, I got this radio show. Ugh that

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Speaker 1: a movie thing just doesn't really fit on the plate.

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Speaker 1: It makes me nervous, Okay, okay, So I leaned into that.

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Speaker 1: I started the movie a few days in the shooting.

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Speaker 1: Guess what I thought. This is a lot of work.

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Speaker 1: I even told Amber, I said, this is this is

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Speaker 1: making me nervous, this is this is hard. Like I'm

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Speaker 1: sitting on the plane. I was just i just flew

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Speaker 1: to Ohio for a show. I'm sitting on the plane

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Speaker 1: just studying my lines. And as I'm studying my lines,

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Speaker 1: I'm getting I'm getting anxious, nervous. I'm not talking about

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Speaker 1: anxiety or stress. I'm not stressed about it. I just

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Speaker 1: get like a butterfly, feeling like right before I walk

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Speaker 1: out into a really big stage, I get this little tingle,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I go, WHOA, that's the feeling I

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Speaker 1: get when I'm reading the script. And I told Amber this.

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Speaker 1: I said, it's hard. And then I said, but I

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Speaker 1: say on the podcast all the time, do hard things.

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Speaker 1: Lean into the hard things. That's your barometers. Act, that's

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Speaker 1: your barometer. I would encourage you to try this, and

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Speaker 1: then once you take the path, the harder path, there's

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Speaker 1: gonna be another one after that, and you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to choose again. And when you do that six or

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Speaker 1: seven or eight times, you are going to be so

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Speaker 1: far separated from the normal, ordinary life that you could

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Speaker 1: have lived. I'm not talking about comparing yourself with others.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about comparing yourself to the version of yourself

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Speaker 1: that takes the easy path. And one day you're gonna

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Speaker 1: sit there as an old man and you're going to

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Speaker 1: look back on all this. You're going to look back

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Speaker 1: on the mountain of life that you climbed. You're going

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Speaker 1: to look back on your trail and your journey. When

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Speaker 1: you're looking at that mountain, you're looking down at that trail,

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Speaker 1: Which one do you want to see that you took

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Speaker 1: the easy one? I have a hard one. The choice

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Speaker 1: is yours. Let's scoot around here. Let's grabe another question.

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Speaker 1: This one's from Ian. It says saying, Heyhidi Grangeer. I'm Ian.

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Speaker 1: I'm fourteen years old from Pennsylvania. Just started watching. I

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Speaker 1: would like to say I'm a big fan of listening

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Speaker 1: to your podcast. I also enjoy on my bus to school.

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Speaker 1: I enjoyed the podcast on the bus to school and

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Speaker 1: it helps me pass the time. Anyway, I just wanted

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Speaker 1: to say, when is the next Restoring Earl's Truck going

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Speaker 1: to be out? Because I enjoy watching it. Thank you brother,

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Speaker 1: Thank you Ian. Shout out to Pennsylvania. I wish I

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Speaker 1: could give you a quick answer on this this I'm

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Speaker 1: restoring this old nineteen seventy four GMC truck that was

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Speaker 1: my dad's that he gave to me, that I had

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Speaker 1: when I was sixteen. It was my first truck. I

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Speaker 1: drove it sat and it was in a bunch of

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Speaker 1: Earl Dibbles videos and music videos, and it started sitting

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Speaker 1: in mom's barn. And after dad passed in twenty fourteen

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Speaker 1: and I was getting busy with touring, I didn't get

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Speaker 1: to give that truck some love, and it just sat

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Speaker 1: in the barn and just died, you know. You know trucks,

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Speaker 1: old trucks do they just they get mud daubers in there,

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Speaker 1: and they get mice to chew up lines, and eventually

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Speaker 1: you go out there one day and it won't start,

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Speaker 1: and you've got to start digging through to figure out

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Speaker 1: what's going on. So when the pandemic hit, I went

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Speaker 1: out there and tried to start it and couldn't. So

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Speaker 1: I put it on a flatbed trailer and took it

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Speaker 1: to the Yege farm and I got Butcher Bull, my

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Speaker 1: two bus drivers, and I said, hey, we're off tour

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Speaker 1: right now. We got some time during this pandemic. Let's

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Speaker 1: create a YouTube series restoring this seventy four GMC. Well, technically,

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Speaker 1: first we just wanted to get it started, get it running.

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Speaker 1: That was the goal. Let's get it running. And then

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Speaker 1: we got it running, we thought, well, you know, as

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Speaker 1: we're pulling the engine, pulling different pieces out, pulling the clutch,

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Speaker 1: getting new parts, we thought, well, now that we're down here,

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Speaker 1: we're in the engine, we might as well pull that out. Now,

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Speaker 1: let's get to the transmission. Now let's clean let's clean

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Speaker 1: that up. Now, well we're by the frame, we might

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Speaker 1: as well take the cab off and grind down the

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Speaker 1: frame and then repaint it. And then once we did that,

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Speaker 1: we're like, well, we might as well get new exhaust.

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Speaker 1: And then we thought, okay, let's take the bed and

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Speaker 1: the cabin and the tailgate in the hood, and let's

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Speaker 1: get some of this rust off of it, and let's

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Speaker 1: paint it. And it ended up being a full restoration.

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Speaker 1: So it's taken a lot longer than I thought. I mean,

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Speaker 1: we're over a year into it now, but I think

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Speaker 1: we're really close. I think we're really close, and I

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Speaker 1: can't wait to finish this truck and share it with

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Speaker 1: you on my YouTube page. But thank you for karen

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Speaker 1: Ian and thanks thanks for giving me the shout out. Brother.

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Speaker 1: All right, scrolling right along. I have no idea what

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Speaker 1: these are going to say, Guys, I'm telling you, I

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Speaker 1: don't know what I'm getting into. I'm just clicking away

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Speaker 1: subject line struggles. Hey Grainger, your my name is Alan,

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Speaker 1: I'm from Alabama. I've listened to your music a lot

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Speaker 1: over the last few years, but I got into your

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Speaker 1: podcast because of a TikTok. There was nothing short of

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Speaker 1: a sign. For the last four years, me and my

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Speaker 1: wife have been trying to have a baby. It's been

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Speaker 1: an emotional roller coaster. Last year, we finally got good

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Speaker 1: news that she was pregnant, but at her appointment to

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Speaker 1: see the child, there was no child to be seen.

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Speaker 1: They had to go in and remove our child and

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Speaker 1: the tube. Since then, we've gotten pregnant again and my

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Speaker 1: wife is doing well. The only thing is I have

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Speaker 1: this crippling fear that it's too good to be true.

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Speaker 1: I'm reaching out for ways to deal with this kind

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Speaker 1: of fear and how to know how to be there

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Speaker 1: for my wife. God bless you guys, Alan, Thank you

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Speaker 1: for the question. Brother shout out to Alabama, thanks for

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Speaker 1: the thanks for listening and the kind words, and it's

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Speaker 1: great question. And I feel your brother that this is

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Speaker 1: a what you said here is you used crippling, crippling fear.

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Speaker 1: What this boils down to essentially, and we could we

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Speaker 1: could tackle this kind of question all different ways, and

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Speaker 1: I could hit you with all kinds of worldly peace

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Speaker 1: and ways to manage it, ways to manage this and

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Speaker 1: to a manageable level. But what really boils down to

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Speaker 1: the very core of your question is lack of trust

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Speaker 1: in God. And you might be thinking, well, my dude,

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Speaker 1: trust God but not. I mean, but you don't really

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Speaker 1: And I'm not knocking you because I could relate to you.

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Speaker 1: So we're all in this boat at some level. But

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Speaker 1: anytime we have a crippling fear or it's some kind

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Speaker 1: of crippling stress or anxiety, that that is based on

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Speaker 1: something that hasn't even happened. Yeah, right, Like when when

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Speaker 1: you're terrified, say you're you're terrified to drive on the highway,

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Speaker 1: but you've never even been in a wreck before. Maybe

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Speaker 1: you're terrified of airplanes, but you've never been in an

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Speaker 1: airplane crash. So there's this kind of crippling fear of

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Speaker 1: something that hasn't happened. And that's that's you. You you

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Speaker 1: have your wife is pregnant, but you have this crippling

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Speaker 1: fear of a bad result of something that hasn't happened yet.

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Speaker 1: And it boils down to a lack of trust in

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Speaker 1: God that he is sovereign, that he's that he has

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Speaker 1: a purpose, that your struggle through the lost child is

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Speaker 1: not meaningless, it's meaningful. It is preparing you for something.

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Speaker 1: And this is what the Bible says, that you're you're

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Speaker 1: your struggle, your tribulation is not meaningless. It is preparing

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Speaker 1: you for something, right, how well, the same way that anything,

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Speaker 1: any kind of adversity prepares us. I mean take football.

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Speaker 1: You take a Super Bowl champ and as they hold

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Speaker 1: up that trophy with tears in their eyes, why why

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Speaker 1: does the football player hold up a trophy when they

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Speaker 1: win the Super Bowl and cry like why would you cry? What?

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Speaker 1: People look at the TV and go, why's this grown

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Speaker 1: man crying and he's holding a trophy. Well, I'll tell

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Speaker 1: you why he's crying. He's crying because in game two

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Speaker 1: they lost, They lost terribly. In Game four, their starting

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Speaker 1: running back broke his ankle and was tough on the team.

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Speaker 1: In Game six, they went into overtime with a team

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Speaker 1: they shouldn't have gone into overtime with, and they struggled.

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Speaker 1: In Game eight, that was the game, it rained and

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Speaker 1: it was muddy, and they barely made it out. And

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Speaker 1: they had those practices where it was hot or cold,

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Speaker 1: and they came together as a team and they earned unity,

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Speaker 1: and they learned through each other through adversity, through the

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Speaker 1: personal disagreements with each other in the locker room and

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Speaker 1: on the practice field, they learned to come together cohesive

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Speaker 1: as a team, and they came out victorious in the end.

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Speaker 1: On all those struggles, you take them away. Take away

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Speaker 1: the losses, take away the injuries, take away the muddy field,

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Speaker 1: take away the overtime game, take away that the disagreements

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Speaker 1: in the practice. Take all that away, and then hold

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Speaker 1: up the trophy. And it's just a trophy. It doesn't

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Speaker 1: really matter. It was an easy year. We didn't have

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Speaker 1: any fight. It was we just blew. We breathed through it. Yay,

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Speaker 1: we won a super Bowl. Nothing. No emotion. Take any

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Speaker 1: movie for example, any movie that you've ever seen where

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Speaker 1: you felt like crying at the end. Why did you cry?

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Speaker 1: Why did you want Maybe maybe not a crier, but

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Speaker 1: maybe you wanted to cry. Maybe your girlfriend cried alan

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Speaker 1: But why do you cry at a movie? You cry

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Speaker 1: because of the redemption that the story brings, because of

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Speaker 1: the struggle or the loss or the brokenness that the

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Speaker 1: story built in the movie, and through the redemption of

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Speaker 1: that character when it came together and it came together

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Speaker 1: for good in the end, and you want to cry

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Speaker 1: because you feel that struggle. That's why they're struggled, That's

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Speaker 1: why there's redemption, and that's why your story. That's why

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Speaker 1: the loss of this first child, that's why it matters.

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Speaker 1: That's why it's preparing you for something. It's refining you.

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Speaker 1: It's like fire. It's burning you like gold and silver.

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Speaker 1: So when you come out the other side of the fire,

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Speaker 1: that gold is purified, it's better, it's refined. It's in

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Speaker 1: a better state than it was before the fire. All

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Speaker 1: the tarnish is gone, all the residue is gone. The

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Speaker 1: fire made it pure, and that's what struggled us. For us,

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Speaker 1: so we don't fear the future something that hasn't happened yet.

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Speaker 1: We trust God that he has a plan, he has

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Speaker 1: a purpose for us, and that this pregnancy, if this

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Speaker 1: pregnancy right now, if it doesn't work out the way

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Speaker 1: you want it to, and it might not, it's a

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Speaker 1: part of your story. It's a part of your refinement

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Speaker 1: and you'll be better for it. And in the meantime,

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Speaker 1: you'd be grateful that you're pregnant. There's so many people

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Speaker 1: that want to be pregnant and they're not. So many

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Speaker 1: people want children and they can't, and here you have

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Speaker 1: this little baby grown inside of her. That's how you

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Speaker 1: can be there for your wife. That's how you could

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Speaker 1: be there for her, say say, babe, I just I

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Speaker 1: want to tell you, I'm so proud of you for

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Speaker 1: what you're going through. This little baby growing inside you

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Speaker 1: and you're taking care of it in this motherly way

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Speaker 1: that I can't understand stand as a husband. And I'm

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Speaker 1: so grateful that you're my wife. I'm so grateful that

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Speaker 1: we're going through this together. And whatever happens, I just

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Speaker 1: want you to know your wife, I want you to know,

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Speaker 1: whatever happens, I'm with you. I'm in this with you.

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Speaker 1: That's what you tell her. We're gonna take a break

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Speaker 1: and be right back. Podcast has brought to you guys

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Speaker 1: Make ship happened all right? Digging back into these questions.

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Speaker 1: The subject line says relationships, loneliness. Hey, grangeer, my name

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Speaker 1: is teen Com. That's a cool name. I'm from Colorado Springs, Colorado.

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00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 1: Shout out to Colorado again. I'm eighteen years old. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what to do about six months ago. I

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Speaker 1: had a really great relationship with a girl that lasted

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Speaker 1: about two months. We weren't technically dating, but we had

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Speaker 1: so much in common and we did a lot of

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Speaker 1: stuff together. I would have loved to keep the relationship going,

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Speaker 1: but she didn't want to. After that ended, I haven't

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Speaker 1: had the desire to date or do anything with friends.

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Speaker 1: I've always loved to date and hang out, but lately

424
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,840
Speaker 1: I just haven't. I've been feeling distant and lonely. What

425
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 1: do I do? Thanks so much? Ye ye, teen com.

426
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 1: Let's see six months ago? So we're talking. We're talking.

427
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 1: You're eighteen and this happened six months ago? You dated

428
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 1: a girl or you're in a relationship for two months?

429
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 1: Got it? Team coom. What you're feeling is so so normal.

430
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 1: It's not a strange question. It's not a it's not

431
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 1: a bad question. It's it's a it's a normal human

432
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 1: desire normal human question. And I want to tell you

433
00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 1: that time is your friend. Here, time is your friend.

434
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:32,919
Speaker 1: The fact that you don't want to go out or

435
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,640
Speaker 1: have a desire to date or do anything with friends

436
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 1: will go away, it will fade, You will get that

437
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 1: desire back. This is what they call heartbroken. This is

438
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 1: what it's called. This is this is heartbreak. That's what

439
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 1: you're feeling. And and we throw that word around all

440
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,919
Speaker 1: the time, and we and we we joke about it,

441
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,760
Speaker 1: and we write songs about it, and we use it,

442
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 1: and you know, we misuse it and in other ways.

443
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:04,520
Speaker 1: But the reason they call it heartbroke is because it's

444
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 1: in your core, your soul, inside you, your heart. You

445
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,240
Speaker 1: could feel it right in your chest. That's where you

446
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 1: feel it. I don't know who. I don't know who

447
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:18,480
Speaker 1: coined this phrase a long time ago, heartbreak, but maybe

448
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:22,400
Speaker 1: someone can google it for me. But you feel it there.

449
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 1: You don't feel it in your hands, you don't feel

450
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,439
Speaker 1: it in your feet, you don't feel it in your head.

451
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:30,960
Speaker 1: You feel it in your right in the center of

452
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:35,879
Speaker 1: your chest. You feel broken. You feel a pain. And

453
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:40,680
Speaker 1: that's what you're feeling. Brother, You're feeling heartbroken and loneliness

454
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 1: is associated with heartbreak. So that's a byproduct of this brokenness,

455
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 1: this heartbrokenness. A byproduct of that is loneliness. Other byproducts

456
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:53,240
Speaker 1: could be you're not hungry. You're not hungry. You didn't

457
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 1: say it, but you're probably not eating very well either, right,

458
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 1: you just don't really want to eat. You're not hungry,

459
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 1: probably not sleeping very well. You probably wake up in

460
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 1: the middle of the night, three o'clock in the morning.

461
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,679
Speaker 1: You wake up and you can't go back to sleep.

462
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 1: That's another byproduct of being heartbroken. So that I know

463
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,200
Speaker 1: for you, it's not only the loneliness, but you're dealing

464
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:18,440
Speaker 1: with You're not sleeping well, you're not eating well, you're

465
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:22,080
Speaker 1: missing her, and your friends might be guilt tripping you,

466
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,359
Speaker 1: like Buddy Tink, when are you gonna come out with

467
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,679
Speaker 1: this man? Like you just sit at home all day

468
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,679
Speaker 1: and you don't have a right answer for them, because

469
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:31,800
Speaker 1: the truth is, you just don't want to And it's

470
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,879
Speaker 1: not that you don't like them, and it's not that

471
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 1: you wouldn't enjoy their company, and you're just depressed. You're heartbroken,

472
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:45,399
Speaker 1: you're lonely, you're hungry, you're tired. But what I'm saying

473
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 1: is this heals itself. As humans, we're resilient. We're so

474
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:55,160
Speaker 1: resilient we make it through anything. Think of history, think

475
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,880
Speaker 1: of what humans have done, Think of what they have

476
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 1: gone through through wars, and we always bounce back and

477
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 1: we are so resilient creatures. It's unbelievable what humans could

478
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 1: go through, what we could put ourselselves through and make

479
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,119
Speaker 1: it out the other side with So you're six months in.

480
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,439
Speaker 1: It might seem like that's been a long time, but

481
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:20,480
Speaker 1: you're not there yet. Some people could come out of

482
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 1: this heartbrokenness in four months, a one month. Sometimes it's

483
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,679
Speaker 1: meeting somebody else. Sometimes you'll meet somebody and go boom,

484
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 1: you're instantly cured. You feel good immediately because you met

485
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 1: somebody new, which is hard because during the heartbroken this phase,

486
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,320
Speaker 1: you don't want to go out, so it's harder to

487
00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 1: meet somebody, which prolongs meeting somebody. But you will heal.

488
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 1: You will heal, hang on, teaingcom hang on. You will

489
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 1: find the light at the end of the tunnel, and

490
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 1: then you'll look back and you'll be better because of

491
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,960
Speaker 1: the heartbrokenness. It's just like anything else. It's another form

492
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 1: of affliction or struggle. And you know we talked earlier

493
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 1: on this podcast about about losing a child in the

494
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 1: womb and where you are, Tinkom. Let me just say, man,

495
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 1: it's always relative to the life. Our struggle is relative

496
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:16,480
Speaker 1: to the life we're living right now. And you can't

497
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,520
Speaker 1: sit in a room with another guy who lost a

498
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 1: child a stillbirth or a miscarriage and say that he

499
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:26,840
Speaker 1: has it worse than you, because your heartbrokenness is really

500
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 1: difficult right now for you, and so we can't compare.

501
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 1: It's always relative to where we are in relation to

502
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 1: our story in our life right now. And for you,

503
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 1: this is bad, this is hurting. You're struggling. You don't

504
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 1: know what to do. But this will go, this will pass,

505
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 1: You'll make it through. Hang on, and if you realize

506
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,960
Speaker 1: that there's power in that, if you realize that you

507
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 1: have the power over this heartbreak, not the heart, not

508
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 1: the girl, not the loss, not the loneliness, but if

509
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 1: you understand what it is that's affecting you. For instance,

510
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 1: what if you got strep throat? Right, Okay, so strep throat,

511
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 1: I've had that before. And strep throat is viral, right,

512
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 1: I know there's viral and bacterial, but the one that

513
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 1: gets cured by antibotics. Right, So you get strap throat,

514
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 1: and when you get strap throat, you don't know what

515
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:24,440
Speaker 1: it is at first, and you you just think, oh, man,

516
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 1: what is this? What do I have? How long is

517
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 1: this going to last? How debilitating is this going to

518
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 1: be to my life? How long am I going to

519
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 1: be out of work? How long am I going to

520
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 1: be bed ridden? I don't feel good, I don't want

521
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,240
Speaker 1: to do anything. And then you go to the doctor

522
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 1: and he goes, we tested you, and you have strep throat,

523
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna give you antibotics, and in twenty four

524
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 1: hours you're going to be feeling good. You'll be you

525
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 1: won't be contagious after twenty four hours, and your symptoms

526
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 1: will be drastically gone and you'll feel better. So then

527
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 1: when you go home that night and you take those

528
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 1: antibotics and you lay in bed, you still feel the

529
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 1: same fatigue and the same sickness, But since your mind

530
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 1: has conquered it, because you know now what it is

531
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 1: that's causing the affliction, you go just twenty four hours,

532
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 1: I got this, Yes I hurt, Yes I got achy legs.

533
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 1: Yes I don't have an appetite, but I know it's

534
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 1: strep throat. I've taken the antibotics. Now I'm watching the

535
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 1: clock and I know that my time's almost up, and

536
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:25,200
Speaker 1: in eight more hours, my system is going to kick

537
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 1: it because these antibotics, and I'm gonna be good. And

538
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 1: because of that, that knowledge gets you through it. So

539
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to tell you is that you're dealing

540
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 1: with heartache and this will go away. And so when

541
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 1: you go to sleep tonight and you can't sleep, or

542
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 1: you can't eat, or you don't want to go out

543
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,680
Speaker 1: with your friends and you feel lonely, think to yourself,

544
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 1: this is heartache and it will go away, and I'll

545
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 1: come back out and I'll be right back out. I'll

546
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 1: be eating pizza with my bros In no time. There's

547
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 1: power in knowing that, buddy, great question. Let's move on

548
00:31:56,480 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 1: here in the inbox. If you have a question for me,

549
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 1: email Granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com and we'll

550
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 1: dig into it. This one subject line is a manchild,

551
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 1: A manchild. It says keep my name anonymous please. I'm

552
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 1: from Cleveland, Ohio. I started talking to this guy during

553
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 1: the middle of last year. We never moved past the

554
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 1: talking stage, as it seems let me say that again.

555
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 1: We didn't move past the talking stage, as it seemed

556
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 1: like we wanted the same things. But I was ready

557
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 1: for that immediately, and he seems to be still enjoying

558
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 1: his mid twenties at the bars and going out with friends.

559
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 1: He's never made time to hang out, so I constantly

560
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 1: feel rejected, although he told me I was perfect and

561
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:49,160
Speaker 1: we were meant to be countless times. We recently started

562
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 1: talking again, as he seems to settle down a little

563
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 1: bit while taking classes. But a couple of weeks ago

564
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:59,479
Speaker 1: he finished classes and has some thinking. You said not

565
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 1: return to the party life with friends. I'm thinking you said,

566
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 1: now that's what you probably meant. A couple of weeks ago,

567
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 1: he finished classes and has now returned to the party

568
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 1: life with friends and at the bars. I feel there

569
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 1: is a lot of potential and I don't want to

570
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 1: walk away. However, his actions don't seem to match his words,

571
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 1: and I'm afraid he's just telling me what I want

572
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 1: to hear. What do I do? All right? All right?

573
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 1: Anonymous shout out to Ohio, good question. Let me review

574
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 1: the timeline. Started talking to this guy middle of last year. Okay, okay, cool.

575
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 1: So you know this relationship's got red flags all over it, Anonymous,

576
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 1: But you know that and that's why you emailed because

577
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 1: it's on your mind. And the problem is you think

578
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 1: the relationship has a lot of potential and you don't

579
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 1: want to walk away, so that's why you're emailing. I

580
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:58,800
Speaker 1: just want to say, for this dating phase, this like

581
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:04,400
Speaker 1: honeymoon phase, middle of last year is a long time ago.

582
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 1: Like a lot of people would be married by now

583
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,279
Speaker 1: if they met middle of last year. Not maybe not

584
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:15,440
Speaker 1: a lot, but there are people that would meet and

585
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:18,360
Speaker 1: date for three or four five months, get engaged for

586
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 1: three or four five months, and be married. So the

587
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,759
Speaker 1: timeline here is not really in your favor, Like you

588
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 1: should know something by now if this dude is good

589
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:32,480
Speaker 1: or not for you and your job right now, Anonymous.

590
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 1: Your job in the dating sphere is for you to

591
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 1: find the right guy that's going to be your husband.

592
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:44,839
Speaker 1: That's your sole requirement when it comes to dating. It

593
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 1: is I don't know how old you are, but this

594
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 1: is not about it's not about you enjoying dating for

595
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:54,720
Speaker 1: what it is. You're not just like I like dating

596
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:56,280
Speaker 1: because I just like to see a bunch of people

597
00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 1: and go out and have dinner and have fun, because

598
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:03,160
Speaker 1: you're not doing that because you're worried about this. If

599
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 1: that's what you thought, then you wouldn't be emailing me

600
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 1: worried about walking away from this guy. So your sole

601
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 1: intention is marriage, that's the goal. Looking for a guy

602
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:14,719
Speaker 1: that is going to be a viable husband for the

603
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:17,440
Speaker 1: rest of your life and God willing the father of

604
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 1: your children. Am I right? Okay? And this guy's not

605
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 1: fair and too well in that category and you're you're

606
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 1: probably maybe you're thinking, I don't know, maybe I'm not

607
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:32,399
Speaker 1: good enough for another guy. Wrong, don't think that. Don't

608
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 1: go there. Don't go there, because we start dating sometimes

609
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,320
Speaker 1: we start dating people that we think are the mirror

610
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 1: image of what we deserve. And so what are you

611
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 1: seeing in the mirror when you look at yourself. You're

612
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,640
Speaker 1: seeing this man. That's what you're seeing, that this man

613
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: that is a man child in his mid twenties that

614
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:54,960
Speaker 1: loves to go to bars and hang out with his

615
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:58,399
Speaker 1: friends and not hang out with you. And somehow you're

616
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 1: looking in the mirror and the reflection you're seeing back

617
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,160
Speaker 1: is what you think that you deserve. That you're seeing,

618
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 1: and I'm here to tell you that you deserve better

619
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:10,400
Speaker 1: than that. And so when you look in the mirror,

620
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 1: now you go, no, I am special. I have the

621
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 1: potential to be a great wife, for somebody to be

622
00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 1: a great mother, and I don't need somebody that likes

623
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 1: to hang out and be a man child. And so

624
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:29,319
Speaker 1: my suggestion to you, Anonymous now is to give this

625
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,799
Speaker 1: guy an ultimatum and say it just like you told me.

626
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with what you told me. We'll sit

627
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:41,840
Speaker 1: him down and go, look, I really like you a lot,

628
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 1: and as you said, I feel like there's a lot

629
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:48,279
Speaker 1: of potential in this relationship. What that potential is me,

630
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 1: I don't know. This is granger talking not you don't know.

631
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:53,880
Speaker 1: I don't know because I'm not with you. But you

632
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 1: could be specific about what that potential is. This and

633
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:59,719
Speaker 1: this and this, and I just think I think you're

634
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:05,279
Speaker 1: a great guy. But here's the butt. I don't I

635
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:08,839
Speaker 1: don't appreciate being put on the back burner. If this

636
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 1: is something that's going to last, this is a relationship

637
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:14,680
Speaker 1: that has legs and longevity, I don't appreciate being on

638
00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:16,720
Speaker 1: the back burner of it. And that's what I feel

639
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 1: like I feel like I feel like I'm your fifth

640
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 1: or sixth priority in life right now? Is that true?

641
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:24,239
Speaker 1: And he's gonna say, no, no, no, You're great and

642
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 1: go well. Your your actions are going to speak louder

643
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 1: than your words here because you you love to spend

644
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 1: so much time with your friends, and maybe maybe you're

645
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:35,839
Speaker 1: not ready for a relationship. And I want to give

646
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:39,440
Speaker 1: you an ultimatum. I'm gonna say right here today, I

647
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:41,839
Speaker 1: want to hear from you that this matters to you,

648
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:43,759
Speaker 1: that I matter to you, and that this is on

649
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 1: a path of me getting an engagement ring. Oh that's

650
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 1: maybe that's too much. This is on a path of

651
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:52,240
Speaker 1: something that's going to lead down a long road for us. Okay,

652
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 1: don't scare him with the engagement ring. Talk and see

653
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:58,360
Speaker 1: what he says. Put him on the line, you know,

654
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:00,439
Speaker 1: put him right there on the spot. What he says.

655
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 1: I if I was a guy, and if I was

656
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 1: I am a guy, if I if I was in

657
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 1: his shoes, I would respect that. I would respect that.

658
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 1: I would, I would say I would. I would want

659
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 1: to shoot them straight. And Guys, I've been told this

660
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: before by old girlfriends a long time ago. I've been

661
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 1: told this because I'm sure I had my share of

662
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 1: manchild years. You know, I definitely had my share of

663
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 1: loving music more than anything else and chasing tour dates

664
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 1: and chasing you know, empty stages more than the girlfriend.

665
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 1: And so there was several several girls you know, that

666
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 1: I that I would date, that I wasn't that serious

667
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,799
Speaker 1: about it, and they caught on quickly that I was.

668
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 1: I could cancel a Valentine's dinner to go, you know,

669
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:50,399
Speaker 1: take a tour date for two hundred dollars. And they

670
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,719
Speaker 1: had to say straight up like, hey, I don't feel

671
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:56,839
Speaker 1: like I'm a priority. And and I might have thought, well,

672
00:38:56,880 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 1: you're great, this is fun, and they said that if

673
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 1: they said you're you don't make me feel like a

674
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:06,120
Speaker 1: priority at that moment, I would have to be honest

675
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 1: and go, you're right, you're right. I love my friends,

676
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:15,359
Speaker 1: I love hanging out with them, I love my job,

677
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:19,839
Speaker 1: I love my work, and I love you equal to that,

678
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 1: but not anything more than that, right, And that might

679
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 1: be the answer you get. And hey, if you get

680
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:30,520
Speaker 1: that answer, good, then you go and you have a

681
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:32,800
Speaker 1: whole heart when you leave, and you feel you feel

682
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:35,439
Speaker 1: confident that you're walking away from a relationship that wasn't

683
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:38,919
Speaker 1: going to go anywhere, and good for you. You're back

684
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 1: on the market again. You're ready to find the next guy,

685
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:43,560
Speaker 1: and you're going to learn with the next guy. You're

686
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 1: going to learn from this guy. You're gonna learn a

687
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,880
Speaker 1: little bit more of what you need and dating. You

688
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 1: go through these relationships and every time you get out

689
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:53,319
Speaker 1: of one, you learn a little bit more about who

690
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 1: you are and what you need and what you deserve

691
00:39:56,360 --> 00:40:00,799
Speaker 1: and and and how to be respected, and you get

692
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,800
Speaker 1: better every time. So I would sit him down and

693
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:05,839
Speaker 1: give him this ultimatum and don't let him lie to you.

694
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:08,839
Speaker 1: You'll know if he's lying, and if he does lie

695
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,279
Speaker 1: to you, you'll know it in a few weeks because

696
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:11,680
Speaker 1: he'll go back to his old ways. And then you

697
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 1: could bring it up again and go, remember when I

698
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 1: talk to you about this, and he'll go yeah, and

699
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 1: then you'll go, I'm sorry, this is over. I gotta go.

700
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:27,160
Speaker 1: And it's sad to me because I thought we had

701
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:30,160
Speaker 1: a lot of potential. But I have to go because

702
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,760
Speaker 1: I gave you an ultimatum two weeks ago, you agreed,

703
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 1: and now you're back at it. Anonymous. It's as easy

704
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 1: as that and it's hard to do. But that's the

705
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:47,719
Speaker 1: mathematic formula for you. You give him the ultimatium. You

706
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 1: don't let him lie. If he does lie, you'll know

707
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 1: in two weeks. And then you walk and you don't

708
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:56,919
Speaker 1: look back. You close the door and you walk, don't

709
00:40:56,960 --> 00:41:08,839
Speaker 1: look back, and you're better for it. Let's grab another wow,

710
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 1: which direction should we go? Let's see a lot of

711
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:14,720
Speaker 1: relationship questions in here. I see in the subject lines.

712
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 1: Let's see there's a trust in God question? Maybe I

713
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 1: wish you hit that. Okay, Why can I not trust

714
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 1: God when this is all I want to do? The

715
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:36,480
Speaker 1: question is I have recently found your podcast and it's

716
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 1: been such a blessing. I have been born again and

717
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 1: faithfully serving Him for fifteen years. I want to reach

718
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:44,680
Speaker 1: out to you get your opinion. I'm twenty seven years old,

719
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 1: pretty successful in my career for my age. God has

720
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 1: blessed me beyond measure in my career, and all the

721
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 1: glory be to Him for that. I've worked for my

722
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:56,240
Speaker 1: current employer for almost eight years. Unfortunately, my work environment

723
00:41:56,320 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 1: is nothing short of toxic. The senior management lack management,

724
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:03,880
Speaker 1: lacks morals and integrity, does not value their employees, and

725
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,239
Speaker 1: I'm not confident in my current workspace. I would like

726
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:09,279
Speaker 1: to leave, but I'm extremely scared. I know that my

727
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:12,560
Speaker 1: value is in Christ alone, but I also value my

728
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:15,959
Speaker 1: professional career and have worked to climb to the top.

729
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:18,759
Speaker 1: The enemy is using all my insecurities against me, and

730
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 1: it's making me extremely making it extremely difficult to let

731
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 1: go and allow God to direct me where I need

732
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:27,400
Speaker 1: to be. In short, how can I overpower my anxiety field,

733
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 1: controlling insecure heart and trust in Christ for my future? Well?

734
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 1: Did you say your name? I won't say your name

735
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 1: because you didn't say your name, but you said it.

736
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:42,360
Speaker 1: That last line is that's pretty good. In short, how

737
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 1: can I overpower my anxiety field, controlling insecure heart and

738
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 1: trust Christ for my future? That is the question for

739
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,719
Speaker 1: all of us. Right if we could answer that, guess what?

740
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:55,840
Speaker 1: If we can answer that, guess what you get? Peace? Peace.

741
00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:01,239
Speaker 1: So Philippians four to six through seven. Look it up.

742
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,799
Speaker 1: Philippians four six through seven. Look it up, because it's

743
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 1: going to tell you do not worry about anything, but

744
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 1: in everything, by prayer, supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request

745
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:17,720
Speaker 1: be made known to God. And the peace of God,

746
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 1: which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your

747
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 1: minds in Christ Jesus. That's how you do it. Doing

748
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:26,520
Speaker 1: it is you got to dig. You got to dig.

749
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:29,759
Speaker 1: But that's your roadmap on how to do it right.

750
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 1: So prayer, supplication, with thanksgiving, you give the glory to God.

751
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,920
Speaker 1: You worship him. You say you are the creator. You

752
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 1: have a plan. I need. I need to know direction

753
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:46,120
Speaker 1: in this job. I feel insecure in this job. I

754
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 1: feel undervalued in this job. But I'm thankful to have

755
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 1: the job, and I'm thankful that you have provided it.

756
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:55,879
Speaker 1: Show me your path, that's your's that's what you say,

757
00:43:56,000 --> 00:44:02,319
Speaker 1: that's your prayer, and the result is peace. Peace, and

758
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 1: that's what you're after here is peace. I don't I

759
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 1: don't know. I haven't talked to you in person, so

760
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:12,600
Speaker 1: I don't know. If I sit here and tell you, yes,

761
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 1: walk away from this job, I can tell you that

762
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 1: your fear of leaving the job is nothing but fear.

763
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:25,200
Speaker 1: And what did Roosevelt say? There is nothing to fear

764
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:29,280
Speaker 1: but fear itself. And that's true. There's nothing to fear

765
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:32,800
Speaker 1: but fear itself. And fear is nothing but just fear.

766
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:36,880
Speaker 1: It's doesn't nothing has happened. Yet you're scared of leaving

767
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:40,040
Speaker 1: a job, but you don't even know if that's a

768
00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:42,319
Speaker 1: good or bad thing. I mean, maybe maybe it's a

769
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:45,200
Speaker 1: great thing, Like maybe leaving this job opens up the

770
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:48,759
Speaker 1: door to an incredible career that you're forever thankful for.

771
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 1: And you look back and you go, I wouldn't have

772
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:51,919
Speaker 1: had this job if I didn't leave the other one.

773
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:55,719
Speaker 1: I understand that you've worked up the ladder and you've

774
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:58,040
Speaker 1: put so much effort into it, but it's not about

775
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:00,799
Speaker 1: your effort that you put into it. It's you. You You

776
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 1: are the effort. You are the value. Sometimes as humans,

777
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 1: we start to think that our value is what we've built,

778
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:12,880
Speaker 1: Like all the little things that we've collected and added

779
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:16,839
Speaker 1: and put together and historically lined up in our in

780
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 1: our past is our value. But it's not. We are

781
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:24,800
Speaker 1: the value currently presently, we're the value. So whatever you built,

782
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 1: whatever you did, you could build again, why because you

783
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:32,279
Speaker 1: already did it once. Yeah. That's hard, of course, it's hard.

784
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:36,799
Speaker 1: Life is hard. Life isn't fair. Life is difficult, But

785
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,759
Speaker 1: we push on because when we hold up that Super

786
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:42,400
Speaker 1: Bowl trophy, that's when we cry because we go, we

787
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:46,320
Speaker 1: made it. Victory we're holding the trophy with tears in

788
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:48,520
Speaker 1: our eyes because we went through trials. We had to

789
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:50,160
Speaker 1: get out of that job, and we put our sweat

790
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:52,480
Speaker 1: and tears into that job. We worked so hard to

791
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:54,399
Speaker 1: climb that ladder and we had to let it go.

792
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:57,439
Speaker 1: But we got this new one, and we started over

793
00:45:57,520 --> 00:46:01,359
Speaker 1: from scratch, from the ground up. We built this thing

794
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 1: all over again. And I repeated this ladder and I

795
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 1: got less pay and I didn't feel like I deserved it,

796
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:10,600
Speaker 1: but I worked at it because I wanted to do

797
00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 1: it again and I knew I could. How did I know?

798
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:17,160
Speaker 1: Because I did it before. So I started over and

799
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:22,160
Speaker 1: I built it again, brick by brick, and now here

800
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:25,040
Speaker 1: I am and I did it, and I got tears

801
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 1: in my eyes holding the trophy. That's your story. It's like,

802
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:32,440
Speaker 1: well do you do? What do you do? If you

803
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:35,760
Speaker 1: build a wall, a brick wall, a beautiful brick wall,

804
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:40,879
Speaker 1: and it gets knocked down, There's only one thing you do.

805
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:44,279
Speaker 1: You get the bricks off the ground, one by one

806
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:47,879
Speaker 1: and you start again. And the longer you stare at

807
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:50,759
Speaker 1: that pile of bricks, the harder it's going to be

808
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:54,319
Speaker 1: to put it back together. You shake yourself off you

809
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 1: wipe the sweat off your brow, and you pick up

810
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:58,439
Speaker 1: one brick at a time, and you start the wall

811
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:04,880
Speaker 1: all over again. You could do it. Love you guys,

812
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:08,280
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. We'll see you every single Monday morning.

813
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:11,360
Speaker 1: Ye ye, thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast.

814
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:13,880
Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me

815
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 1: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,

816
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:21,000
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and

817
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:24,279
Speaker 1: the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I

818
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:27,200
Speaker 1: upload a video. If you have a question for me

819
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 1: that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast

820
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Yie