Speaker 1: Hell I Suck It Dating with Denglert and Dared Haven
Speaker 1: and I heard radio podcast. Hey, welcome to help I
Speaker 1: Suck at Dating. I'm Jared Haven. I'm currently recording from
Speaker 1: our coffee shop in South Kingston, Rhode Island. And it's
Speaker 1: a little bear in the office part right now, which
Speaker 1: is why you might hear a little bit of an echo.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I should put like a bag
Speaker 1: over my head or something. I'm not really sure, but
Speaker 1: hopefully Eastern are wonderful editor and producer will be able
Speaker 1: to fix this audio up a little bit for you.
Speaker 1: Dean is Uh. I gotta be honest, I don't know
Speaker 1: where the hell Deane is. I think he's in Alaska.
Speaker 1: The WiFi is not really that good, so I'm hoping
Speaker 1: that he joins us at some point throughout this podcast.
Speaker 1: But we have a very special guest that we're gonna
Speaker 1: start right off the top with. It is Uh. You
Speaker 1: know her from Naked and Afraid of Love, which is
Speaker 1: on Discovery Plus it is Britt with more Britt. How
Speaker 1: are you? I'm great. How are you doing today, Jared?
Speaker 1: I'm doing well. My wife is tapping me on the show.
Speaker 1: There what could you possibly want to. Okay, by bye,
Speaker 1: oh Brett, oh god. So well, this is what happens
Speaker 1: when you're married and your wife is pregnant and you're
Speaker 1: opening up a shop and all chaos comes in. But dogs,
Speaker 1: so just fair warning. She may bark, she may see her.
Speaker 1: Oh that's fine. I missed my dog so much. My
Speaker 1: dog puld be so much pleasure. I wish she was
Speaker 1: here right now. Um So, Britt, tell us a little
Speaker 1: bit about yourself. I know that you're from Seattle and
Speaker 1: you're now living in Los Angeles though, right, yeah, so
Speaker 1: I'm actually from North Carolina. I did not claim Seattle
Speaker 1: as my home. I was like born and raised in
Speaker 1: North Carolina, true Southern girl to her roots. Still have
Speaker 1: all my southern like all the things southern. Um. But
Speaker 1: I lived in Seattle for seven years. I moved out
Speaker 1: there to work for Amazon, and then, um yeah, just
Speaker 1: like a month ago, I moved down to l A.
Speaker 1: Which is kind of crazy. It still feels weird that
Speaker 1: I'm here. Well part of a Hollywood hills. Okay, so
Speaker 1: we lived in West Hollywood for about are in a
Speaker 1: half years. I love West Hollywood. How did you like
Speaker 1: it it? I'm not an l a kid. I'm such
Speaker 1: an East Coast guy that it just wasn't my vibe. Now, Listen,
Speaker 1: it has a lot of perks, like walking in front
Speaker 1: of the Chinese theater and as a as somebody who
Speaker 1: loves movies, you know, that was super cool being in
Speaker 1: the city where movies are made. That was awesome, But
Speaker 1: everything else kind of sucked. Yeah, you know, I went
Speaker 1: to Santa Barbara yesterday for a concert and the traffic.
Speaker 1: I was like, no, I don't think I'm ever going
Speaker 1: to be okay with this. No, it's the worst people
Speaker 1: drive like here, Oh, it's the worst drivers. Everybody's like, oh,
Speaker 1: Massachusetts have the worst drivers, in New York has the
Speaker 1: worst drivers. No, Los Angeles has the worst driving I've
Speaker 1: ever dealt with in my entire life, because not only
Speaker 1: are they bad drivers, but they're just so self absorbed,
Speaker 1: as if everybody should just revolve they're driving around them,
Speaker 1: those sons of bitches. I'll tell you you, thank you. Finally,
Speaker 1: I've been like, there's so entitled, like over in front
Speaker 1: of you. Listen, I'm getting aggressive though, so I'm fitting
Speaker 1: in perfectly. The only way you can drive out there,
Speaker 1: so naked and afraid of love. Tell us a little
Speaker 1: bit about it. Why do you want to go on
Speaker 1: this show? Yeah? So, I mean in terms of the why,
Speaker 1: I think I had honestly tried everything, so it was like,
Speaker 1: why the hell not? Right, someone was like, well, let's
Speaker 1: get naked and meet strangers. Okay, like that sounds interesting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it sounds like a Tuesday Nights right right exactly. Um. So,
Speaker 1: and I was more so intrigued to by the fact
Speaker 1: that they strip everything away from you. So like some
Speaker 1: of the other shows like The Bachelor, which you're aware of, um,
Speaker 1: they add things, right, so these like extravagant dates, the alcohol,
Speaker 1: like all of that stuff, which is fun and gives
Speaker 1: you almost like a false sense of what to expact maybe, um.
Speaker 1: But with this, they take everything away from you and
Speaker 1: it's not fun, Like it was not fun for the
Speaker 1: most part, hurt um. But it forces you to be
Speaker 1: in a situation that's of course physically very vulnerable. You're
Speaker 1: completely nude, um, meeting strangers. But then also like I
Speaker 1: think that that physical vulnerability also kind of forces you
Speaker 1: to become emotionally vulnerable too. Um. And so I was, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was intrigued, and I was like, sign me up.
Speaker 1: Let's see what happened. So you're legitimately naked on this show.
Speaker 1: That's a question I've always had about naked and afraid
Speaker 1: as naked like nothing sitting in the sand. Do you
Speaker 1: have little crabs, little sand crawling in places where they
Speaker 1: should not be crawling. Um, it was very uncomfortable, like
Speaker 1: very uncomfortable. So do you think you kind of addressed that?
Speaker 1: You feel like it actually helps you confront things You
Speaker 1: have to like bear your soul as much as you're
Speaker 1: bearing your skin. But do you think that that that,
Speaker 1: like seeing the other person fully naked helps or hurts. Um. Honestly,
Speaker 1: it became the norm. So it's like walking around you
Speaker 1: see people with clothes on, that's the norm. Seeing people
Speaker 1: naked was the norm in this environment. So I don't
Speaker 1: know that that like you just get like you just
Speaker 1: get used to it, If that makes sense, I would
Speaker 1: be cowering in the corner like there was to give you.
Speaker 1: There was a date on my season at the Bachelorette.
Speaker 1: It was a sumo wrestling date and all the guys
Speaker 1: had to wear I forget what they're called, but they're
Speaker 1: like thongs pretty much when you go sumo wrestling exactly,
Speaker 1: but it's legitimately like a thong. It rides up there.
Speaker 1: So I was I can't tell you, I was about
Speaker 1: to throw up because I was so nervous that they
Speaker 1: were going to put me on this date and that
Speaker 1: everybody was going to see my hairy ass. And I
Speaker 1: was like, this is I'm not joking. I was talking Actually, Ben,
Speaker 1: Ben will be fully honest about this. Ben Higgins, who
Speaker 1: was also on our season of the Bachelor, rette him
Speaker 1: and I were about to go upstairs and quickly like
Speaker 1: shave as much as we possibly could down there, just
Speaker 1: because we were so nerve. Is that like we're going
Speaker 1: to put this thong on? You know? I listen, I
Speaker 1: it's no one would describe me as having like a
Speaker 1: big booty, So like I was terrified. I can only
Speaker 1: imagine going on this show and having to be naked
Speaker 1: all the time. I don't even know if I'd be
Speaker 1: able to speak, I'd be too insecure. Listen, you know,
Speaker 1: I think in the beginning, there is obviously that level
Speaker 1: of like this is super awkward and uncomfortable, like do
Speaker 1: I look what if they catch me looking? But like
Speaker 1: you want to see what you're working with. Two So
Speaker 1: it was like this like conflicting moment where I didn't
Speaker 1: know what to do, and uh yeah, I think that
Speaker 1: you just you just get used to it. But I
Speaker 1: will say it was a moment and I will never
Speaker 1: forget this where I'm hiking through the jungle and I'm
Speaker 1: like going up this hill, I've got the cameraman behind
Speaker 1: me and like my goodies are just all in their face.
Speaker 1: I remembered in that moment that I was naked, and
Speaker 1: I got so uncomfortable, so uncomfortable because I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, they're seeing all of the bits and like
Speaker 1: way that know what's ever seen? I know, I guess
Speaker 1: especially for a woman, that must be kind of creepy.
Speaker 1: If it's like a guy cameraman who's just great there
Speaker 1: up in your business. I mean, it wasn't creepy. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't use that term. It was just like it was
Speaker 1: a reminder that I was naked. All the The crew
Speaker 1: was phenomenal, like they made sure that we did not
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable, Like it was like they were extra cost
Speaker 1: that's cool, that's good to hear. Yeah, like they did.
Speaker 1: They did a really really nice time. They were naked
Speaker 1: as well. It was so much fun right right, we
Speaker 1: were all just naked. Um, No, they weren't, but it
Speaker 1: would have been interesting if they were. I feel like,
Speaker 1: if there's like another season, they should do that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like, what's the type of acting that
Speaker 1: they call where you just fully immerse yourself into the character. Oh,
Speaker 1: I don't know the world anyway, you know how Like
Speaker 1: they have stories about like whether it be Heath Ledger
Speaker 1: Jared Letto as a joker where they acted like the
Speaker 1: joker on and off camera. It could be like the
Speaker 1: producers are making it afraid. They're like, hey, we're fully
Speaker 1: we're committing as a producer here, we're going full nude.
Speaker 1: I would appreciate that. Has this changed your perspective on
Speaker 1: dating at all after dating naked? I think so honestly, Um,
Speaker 1: I think that because I was so still like backstory,
Speaker 1: I'm not one to be super vulnerable and open up quickly,
Speaker 1: Like that's just not in my character. I'm a little
Speaker 1: bit more reserved. I like to I don't want to
Speaker 1: say play games, but like I like to keep them guessing,
Speaker 1: you know. And I think that this kind of showed
Speaker 1: me that it's okay to put all your cards on
Speaker 1: the table and just be extremely vulnerable and open up,
Speaker 1: um about one what you want, your boundaries, like your
Speaker 1: trauma that you've hopefully overcome or that you're working on,
Speaker 1: and just put that all on the table, um, And
Speaker 1: it tells you very quickly whether or not someone's going
Speaker 1: to be a match. And so it's kind of changed
Speaker 1: how I date in terms of like I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: put it all out there and if that scares you away, okay, goodbye, right,
Speaker 1: But if not, great, let's see like what could develop
Speaker 1: from this. And so it's just made me more comfortable
Speaker 1: with being vulnerable. I think, what are you most afraid
Speaker 1: of about love? Oh? God, how many time you got
Speaker 1: all the time in the world. Um, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Like love is just such a tricky thing. I think
Speaker 1: that it's a huge risk, right, Like you're putting yourself
Speaker 1: out there and you're trusting that this other person is
Speaker 1: going to be there and like put themselves out there
Speaker 1: and and match you, right, like reciprocate your feelings, and
Speaker 1: there's a risk that they may not. And that's devastating.
Speaker 1: And I've been there, right. Um, you know, my last
Speaker 1: X we were together for three years and I showed
Speaker 1: up every day giving a hundred percent if not a
Speaker 1: hundred and ten, and I was lucky if I got
Speaker 1: six from him, And the way that it made me
Speaker 1: feel about myself, like it took a toll on my confidence, um,
Speaker 1: like my character, Like I became someone that I didn't
Speaker 1: recognize anymore. And I think that that's it's scary, and
Speaker 1: so I think that's one of the biggest things that
Speaker 1: kind of frightens me about love. And then it's also like, well,
Speaker 1: what if I meet someone and I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: they're amazing, that's kind of scary too. Yeah, it's terrifying
Speaker 1: because then yeah, you're you're not that your happiness is
Speaker 1: in their hands, but a big part of it is.
Speaker 1: And that's terrifying, whether people want to admit it or not.
Speaker 1: Like I'm all for obviously being happy for your own
Speaker 1: like self happiness and self love, but at some point, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: happiness does come from you know, a significant other, which
Speaker 1: is why we're all looking for love and looking for
Speaker 1: that partner. So, um, yeah, what do you what do
Speaker 1: you look for in in guys? What's your some of
Speaker 1: the pros and cons? What are some of the attributes
Speaker 1: you look for? So somebody was like, hey, I want
Speaker 1: a day, Britt. What should they be doing? They need
Speaker 1: to be funny, Like I have a pretty witty personality,
Speaker 1: and so if they don't get my jokes in my
Speaker 1: sense of humor, for just not um. So that's like
Speaker 1: huge for me. Another thing smart, I'd like to have
Speaker 1: really in depth intellectual conversations. Um. And then I would
Speaker 1: say also like someone's driven and successful, like I have
Speaker 1: worked really hard in my career and I continue to
Speaker 1: drive and push myself, and so I need someone who
Speaker 1: has that same energy. But like someone that's playful. We
Speaker 1: can go adventure like ride our bites. Oh. One thing
Speaker 1: that's a huge, huge need for me. They need to
Speaker 1: like the same music that I do. What music do
Speaker 1: you like? Kind of like indie vibe? So like last
Speaker 1: night I went and saw My Morning Jacket UM in
Speaker 1: Santa Barbara. And so I just need someone that can
Speaker 1: like go to shows with me, like I love going
Speaker 1: to any live shows, meet festivals. Would the Smiths count
Speaker 1: as indie? Okay? I love the Smiths? Yeah, the good stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have some great playlists I can share with you
Speaker 1: at some point. Oh, I would love that. I love
Speaker 1: like my wife makes fun of me all the time.
Speaker 1: But I'm a big indie coffee house. Like I'm the
Speaker 1: most basic person you ever going to meet. But I
Speaker 1: love it. Music is my love language, Like making playlists.
Speaker 1: If I make a playlist for someone, it's like yeah,
Speaker 1: and then you're in. If we get there and I
Speaker 1: sent you a playlist. How old you? Okay, so you're
Speaker 1: my age? So you remember like burning CDs for people?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Yeah that was the best. Like I
Speaker 1: actually really missed that. I'm so funny. Actually, when I
Speaker 1: was home a couple of years ago, the last night
Speaker 1: I was almost like two years ago. That's really sad,
Speaker 1: North Carolina. Home in North Carolina. Yeah, in my room,
Speaker 1: my parents like haven't changed anything. I looked under my
Speaker 1: bed and there's like a ton of just like burn CDs.
Speaker 1: This is phenomenal. Oh, it was the best. I remember
Speaker 1: in my car, I had the CD you know whatever
Speaker 1: you call it, the when you put your CDs on
Speaker 1: the rear view mirror, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: oh my god. I had I'm not joking, probably like
Speaker 1: thirty six CDs and they were all scratched up because
Speaker 1: I would always pile them on top of each other
Speaker 1: and it would just be like nineties eighties alternative like
Speaker 1: work out. So it's so good, so much better. I
Speaker 1: missed those days. Oh it's the best. I missed something tangible, like,
Speaker 1: don't get me wrong, like having music on my phone
Speaker 1: is the coolest thing ever. But like burning a CD,
Speaker 1: putting a CD into a CD player, even like DVDs,
Speaker 1: like having something tangible in your hand. God, those are
Speaker 1: the good old days. These kids. Now we sound really old.
Speaker 1: It's like all these kids they don't know these days.
Speaker 1: They're so young. To the vinyl game player and like
Speaker 1: my vinyl collection is growing. Oh yeah, does it actually
Speaker 1: sound better? I think it's done. But you have to
Speaker 1: have like a decent like I invested in a good
Speaker 1: record player because I love music so much, and I
Speaker 1: have good speakers, and so my sound quality is like
Speaker 1: top notch. I can't imagine, because I hear people say
Speaker 1: that all the time, like all the records sound so
Speaker 1: much better, and like does it really sound better than
Speaker 1: a bluetooth speaker? Okay, here's one thing I will say
Speaker 1: about that really quickly, is that you're listening to the
Speaker 1: album in the way that the artist intended you to
Speaker 1: listen to it, which is very It's very cool because
Speaker 1: sometimes you can pick up like I love lyrics, you
Speaker 1: can pick up on like stories and themes. It's it's
Speaker 1: really cool. It's a whole experience, all right. That's fair.
Speaker 1: That's fair. I can understand that one. You got it. Um,
Speaker 1: So I want to know too about what do you
Speaker 1: think the best experience or thing that came from the show,
Speaker 1: obviously going on Naked and Afraid of Love? And what
Speaker 1: do you think the worst either part of the show
Speaker 1: or what came from the show, Like the best thing
Speaker 1: that came from the show, and then the worst. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll start with the worst because it's actually something I'm
Speaker 1: experiencing now and you may be able to relate being
Speaker 1: on reality TV as well. Um, the level of scrutiny
Speaker 1: and just kind of like people are mean. So now,
Speaker 1: most people are great. Most people are great, and I
Speaker 1: think you'll experience this as well. Like people are but
Speaker 1: there is a loud, very loud minority who are just
Speaker 1: mean and suck. They sucked so bad, listen, I had
Speaker 1: to like literally delete Reddit off of my phone. My
Speaker 1: eyebrows stop their own subreddit. I have great, thank you,
Speaker 1: and everyone is dissing them, and I'm like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: it's a good thing I'm confident with my eyebrows. Otherwise
Speaker 1: that would be really personally. Like I say, that's that's
Speaker 1: been challenging is coming off of of the show, um
Speaker 1: and just kind of you know, seeing what's on Twitter
Speaker 1: and and that kind of thing, and just help harsh
Speaker 1: people can be totally. Definitely you need some fixkin to
Speaker 1: be a public figure. Yeah. And one thing too that
Speaker 1: I'll add to that is, you know, there's hours and
Speaker 1: hours of footage when you're filming, and there's a lot
Speaker 1: of things that don't make it on air that, in
Speaker 1: my opinion, are important things that I wish made it
Speaker 1: on air, and like their character building and developing, and
Speaker 1: so I feel like it doesn't always do a person
Speaker 1: justice what I'm seeing on TV, which kind of sucks.
Speaker 1: But that's the reality of it and that's okay. But yeah,
Speaker 1: that's one of the things I'm struggling with. And then, um,
Speaker 1: one of the good things that came from it is
Speaker 1: I developed some great, like long term friendships, like really
Speaker 1: and truly Nelson best friend. I love him so much.
Speaker 1: Um And yeah, and I've made some really good girlfriends
Speaker 1: from the show as well, and so I think that,
Speaker 1: you know, we have this like it's like a different bond,
Speaker 1: you know, And so yeah, it's it's really cool to
Speaker 1: see that. And then I learned to just trust myself
Speaker 1: and my gut, my instinct um, and I learned that
Speaker 1: who I am as a person is pretty cool and
Speaker 1: I to be ashamed to put on my cards on
Speaker 1: the table totally, you know, coming out of that and
Speaker 1: having that mindset. Yeah, I totally relate what you were
Speaker 1: saying about this certain bond that you have with people
Speaker 1: that you went on the show. It's like camp, you know,
Speaker 1: it's like going to you know, a month long camp
Speaker 1: with with your friends or people that you have met,
Speaker 1: and you go through this like really crazy, unique experience
Speaker 1: that no one else can really understand besides you who
Speaker 1: went through it together. And that creates a special bond,
Speaker 1: which is what happened with us on The Bachelor and
Speaker 1: with you and they can afraid of love. So I
Speaker 1: totally understand. That's definitely the best part about Like I agree,
Speaker 1: coming out obviously married and meeting my wife is incredible
Speaker 1: number one, but number two right behind is like the
Speaker 1: friendships and you know, the people. So I I think
Speaker 1: about my wedding all the time and the people that
Speaker 1: were there and the people that like I met from
Speaker 1: the show, whether it be producers or cast or people
Speaker 1: on different seasons, and it's like, man, I have this
Speaker 1: entire life that just came from Bachelor and you know,
Speaker 1: and now you as well. Yeah, which is crazy because
Speaker 1: it's like I would have never imagined this from my life,
Speaker 1: like our past would have never crossed. I am so
Speaker 1: so fortunate that they did because these are some of
Speaker 1: the like realist friendships that I have, which is so
Speaker 1: weird to even think about. We didn't know each other
Speaker 1: at all, were strangers, you know. Is it weird to
Speaker 1: say that now some of your closest friends you've seen naked. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it's so funny because Nelson without my apartment. He
Speaker 1: lives in l A as well. And I was like,
Speaker 1: let's go to the pool, like do you have your
Speaker 1: so suit? And he's like yeah, and I was like cool,
Speaker 1: I'm going to change real quick. And I like was
Speaker 1: hiding behind the door and I was like, you've seen
Speaker 1: everything that is crazy. It saw me at my absolute worst,
Speaker 1: So it's like who cares at this point? I know,
Speaker 1: it's so funny. You ever see Seinfeld? Oh yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: All I can think about whenever I think of naked
Speaker 1: is afraid is the time that Jerry's girlfriend always walks
Speaker 1: around naked around the apartment and like she's like she's
Speaker 1: like fixing a bicycle and then like cracking pickles, and
Speaker 1: he's like, she's a beautiful woman. But sometimes you shouldn't
Speaker 1: be seeing the things that you see when someone is naked.
Speaker 1: And then like he starts walking around naked and she
Speaker 1: can't stop picturing him like looking like a gorilla because
Speaker 1: he's so hairy. And I was too like with with
Speaker 1: potential partners seeing you and your actual worst. Like the
Speaker 1: man I dated for three years, I would have never
Speaker 1: wanted him to see me in the condition that I
Speaker 1: was in and we lived together, um, and so these
Speaker 1: people see that you're absolute worst. So it's like if
Speaker 1: they accept you, they are they are real. You know,
Speaker 1: Like I still feel uncomfortable standing just like fully naked
Speaker 1: in front of Ashley. It's like it's just I wasn't
Speaker 1: I wasn't meant to be seen like this, you know.
Speaker 1: I know I should embrace it, but it's just one
Speaker 1: I think I mean, obviously, I'm I'm also attracted to women,
Speaker 1: so obviously I think that the female body is much
Speaker 1: prettier than the male body. But I also yeah, it
Speaker 1: just is. But it's just also like I'm less like
Speaker 1: I'm like flexing or like feeling good about myself. Like
Speaker 1: I can imagine just like sitting there letting my gut
Speaker 1: hang out and like, all right, this is me, Ashley,
Speaker 1: take it and leave it, um, but hey, it's a
Speaker 1: but like you said, it's it's great to be vulnerable
Speaker 1: and let go and like, you know, if they love
Speaker 1: you at your worst, then they're gonna really love you
Speaker 1: at your best exactly. And I think like that was
Speaker 1: one of the biggest things on the show was like
Speaker 1: listen up, We're seeing me at my absolute worst and
Speaker 1: like really uncomfortable, like a place that I'm not familiar with,
Speaker 1: doing something that I don't have a lot of experience
Speaker 1: and totally and if they like, like that's a huge deal,
Speaker 1: that's awesome. Well, Britt, thank you so much for coming
Speaker 1: on the podcast. We really appreciate it. Everybody who's listening.
Speaker 1: Again on Discovery Plus, go watch Naked and Afraid of
Speaker 1: Love right now. Britt whitmore. Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: joining us. Thank you so much for having me. It
Speaker 1: was a pleasure. All right. Well, back to help by
Speaker 1: suck At Dating. We're going to rename this to the
Speaker 1: Help by suck At Podcasting because we're big struggle struggle
Speaker 1: bus today. No Dean still he's a nobody knows where
Speaker 1: the hell he is. His phone's off, text messages are
Speaker 1: going through. I think he's alive, that's the most important thing, obviously,
Speaker 1: But he's not here. So what does that mean? What
Speaker 1: does that mean when your texts come back green and
Speaker 1: there's no location in the find my friends which we
Speaker 1: all are connected to Diana, And like, what does that means?
Speaker 1: He had an airplane maybe or he just needs he
Speaker 1: has no service and he's far from He's definitely just
Speaker 1: I think he's It could be either he just doesn't
Speaker 1: have service, because you don't have service on a plane,
Speaker 1: which is why it doesn't go through, right, But it
Speaker 1: seems like bad planning because we do this every Friday
Speaker 1: at noon. It's pretty much that's been the case for
Speaker 1: many years. Have you met Dean bad Planning it's his
Speaker 1: middle name, Bad Planning. This guy, it's unbelievable. Like, honestly,
Speaker 1: when we were talking about this, I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: this will make another good Instagram video about him not
Speaker 1: showing off, and I'm like, you know, I'm tired of
Speaker 1: making these. Video is the son of a Bitch? It's
Speaker 1: cute the first ten times and then it becomes uh
Speaker 1: and I feel bad. I'm currently holding a bag next
Speaker 1: to my microphone because I'm in the back office of
Speaker 1: the coffee shop and it's very echoing, and poor Easton
Speaker 1: has to try to make this sound great. Oh God,
Speaker 1: this is gonna be bad anyway. When you have some
Speaker 1: hot topics though, if you guys want to listen to
Speaker 1: some of those this week, well, what else can we
Speaker 1: know about your little cafe there, because that's that you're
Speaker 1: that you're there, Well, thank you so much. I would
Speaker 1: show you around, but then i'd really mess up the
Speaker 1: entire podcast equipment. So it's gonna be called Audrey's Coffeehouse
Speaker 1: and Lounge. My mother in law is named Audrey. I
Speaker 1: also just love the name Audrey. I think it's very
Speaker 1: It's what we're going for because the concept we're going
Speaker 1: for is a cafe that's very comfy and comfortable where
Speaker 1: you can come in and either get a coffee or
Speaker 1: a martini because we will be serving alcoholic drinks. And
Speaker 1: we have a stone fireplace in the middle of the
Speaker 1: of our establishment. And you know, I really want people
Speaker 1: to be cozy, but also, um, so that's like what
Speaker 1: I love about Audrey's. I feel like Audrey's is just
Speaker 1: a very cozy, comfortable name. And so we'll be a
Speaker 1: coffee shop that turns into a martini bar at night. Um.
Speaker 1: And it's all painted right now, and we're getting furniture
Speaker 1: in and we had our my electrician in who was
Speaker 1: a little bit early. Who's my cousin. It's the most
Speaker 1: Rhoe Island literally, like my plumber, My plumber is my
Speaker 1: cousin's friend, my electrician is my other cousin, my painters,
Speaker 1: my uncle. Uh. It's just like the most Rhode Island
Speaker 1: thing ever. But I love every second of it. Um.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, it's coming along. We just got the
Speaker 1: espressial machine put in and that thing is massive and
Speaker 1: very expensive, but it's cool, man. It's I love every
Speaker 1: aspect of doing it right now, opening a coffee shop
Speaker 1: and and turning it into our business and you know,
Speaker 1: really putting our fingerprints all over it, like For example,
Speaker 1: Audrey's obviously spelled a U d R E y apostrophe s,
Speaker 1: but within the logo instead of an apostrophe, it's a rose,
Speaker 1: so you know, obviously nods to the Bachelor there. And
Speaker 1: we'll have odds to the show at the shop. That's
Speaker 1: so cute. I want to go to it. This is exciting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll have an I heart you know how sometimes we
Speaker 1: go to like Vegas or tahow you guys come to
Speaker 1: South Kingston, Rhode Island, where we'll have a live podcast.
Speaker 1: When you open up, are you going to be like
Speaker 1: behind the counter, like slinging drinks? See that rules because
Speaker 1: like if I go to like Dick Kiss restaurant, I
Speaker 1: expect Dick could be there, but he isn't. But if
Speaker 1: like I'm a Bachelor fan, I can go to Audrey's
Speaker 1: and meet Jared. And you're trying about want like that rules?
Speaker 1: Or if you're a help I suck a dating fan?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah. If you're the stuck Army, yeah you
Speaker 1: can go meet your fifteenth favorite podcast host. Uh, but
Speaker 1: you should have a suck Army discount. There should be
Speaker 1: some sort of if you say I am suck Army,
Speaker 1: you get all you do. It's like a password. You
Speaker 1: just walk in and you say suck army, and you
Speaker 1: immediately get fifteen percent off your entire bill. Oh Riley,
Speaker 1: oh Riley just said it suck Army merch in the
Speaker 1: coffee shop. Hell yeah, you only here's the issue on
Speaker 1: I want to get your feedback on this suck Army.
Speaker 1: So I wore my suck Army beanie in front of
Speaker 1: my father in law and he was like, what's that?
Speaker 1: And I was like, Oh, we call our you know,
Speaker 1: audience members suck army because our podcast name is helped
Speaker 1: I Suck at Dating. And he's like, oh, I thought
Speaker 1: it was like a dig at the army. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: wear that out. And I was like, hum, I never
Speaker 1: really thought about that. And so do you think people
Speaker 1: when we say suck army or like, oh screw you guys,
Speaker 1: you don't like the military. Yeah, I think it's a
Speaker 1: problems problem, it's or it's a very intimate way of
Speaker 1: supporting the troops if you think about it. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: he could go the other way. That's true. We could
Speaker 1: be really loving our troops in one way or another. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we might have to change that. We might have to
Speaker 1: make an executive decision because I don't want to like
Speaker 1: people walking around being like you don't like the Army
Speaker 1: No podcast anyway. But yeah, I will be Dicka. I'll
Speaker 1: be Dick a sling and drinks back here. But I'll
Speaker 1: be fun, dude. I'm so excited, like I'm going to
Speaker 1: be part of the management. Might like in my ideal world,
Speaker 1: in the first six months to a year, I will
Speaker 1: be here a lot, and then you know, hopefully, knock
Speaker 1: on wood, it becomes so successful enough where I can
Speaker 1: kind of step back and take just more of an
Speaker 1: ownership role rather than an owner an operator while still
Speaker 1: being at the shop. Of course, right well, they'll they'll
Speaker 1: have to check the website and see which Audrey's locations
Speaker 1: here will be appearing at this week exactly ideal, Ideally, honestly,
Speaker 1: we would. I would love to open up, uh, like
Speaker 1: a few different establishments with different concepts, like I'd love
Speaker 1: to open up a sports bar obviously, and just like
Speaker 1: have Tom Brady paraphernalia everywhere. But like I've already did,
Speaker 1: I've already thought about I know you're shaking ahead. I've
Speaker 1: already thought about like drink names and food items for example,
Speaker 1: I'll give you a little tidbit here. So we thought
Speaker 1: that this was before Brady won his seventh so we
Speaker 1: might have to change things a little bit. But we
Speaker 1: were thinking about calling uh a beer flight for sports
Speaker 1: bar six rings and what you can buy these fake
Speaker 1: super Bowl ring. I have a pair and they're really cool.
Speaker 1: They're like forty bucks for all six of them, and
Speaker 1: they're pretty heavy, and we're gonna infuse them to you know,
Speaker 1: little glasses that you get with beer flights where you
Speaker 1: get like two ounces of each beer, and so you'd
Speaker 1: get six different types of beers with a glass that
Speaker 1: has the super Bowl ring infused. You have to put
Speaker 1: your finger in the super Bowl ring and that's how
Speaker 1: you drink, and it would it would be called six rings.
Speaker 1: So that's pretty cool. I'm not gonna lie. And then
Speaker 1: the other one, we're gonna have sliders. We're gonna have
Speaker 1: four sliders, and you can do branding on the burger
Speaker 1: obviously and make it like a little design. So we
Speaker 1: were gonna have a Celtics of Bruins, a Red Sox,
Speaker 1: and a Patriots one, and then each one was going
Speaker 1: to have like, uh, the Bruins slider would have a
Speaker 1: lot of mustard on it, so yellow the Celtics, one
Speaker 1: would have relish for green, and then you know, catch
Speaker 1: up for the Red Sox, and then we do something
Speaker 1: blue for the Patriots. You know. Affleck is going to
Speaker 1: be in there all the time. Oh my god, Ben Affleck.
Speaker 1: If you're a part of Stuck Army and you're listening
Speaker 1: to podcast, please come to Audrey's anytime. You don't get
Speaker 1: a fifteen percent discount, you get a hundred percent discount.
Speaker 1: You will eat free at audrey has been Affleck if
Speaker 1: you come in and bring j Lo. I am looking
Speaker 1: for to a lot of podcasts where it's Jared going like,
Speaker 1: welcome back to help. I second, sorry one say no,
Speaker 1: we don't have aboute milk? Sorry one second, guess you know,
Speaker 1: And welcome back to this week's We're out of lactate
Speaker 1: okay o refrigerator. Yes, welcome back to help my second
Speaker 1: two cappuccino on the left. It's exactly what's gonna be happening.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be amazing. It's gonna be like Dean whenever
Speaker 1: he records a podcast, because he just records a podcast
Speaker 1: in coffee shops all the time. Anyway, all right, Well,
Speaker 1: I guess we should talk about dating a little bit. Huh.
Speaker 1: We've got some hot topics here, um, older women more
Speaker 1: vating younger men, and vice versa. The survey says that
Speaker 1: of women are open to dating someone ten years younger
Speaker 1: than they are, and nine d percent of men are
Speaker 1: interested in dating someone ten years older than they are. Jared,
Speaker 1: how how many years older than you have? You got? Um?
Speaker 1: Not too much? I actually no quite. I would say,
Speaker 1: are we talking like flirtation or are we talking actual
Speaker 1: like dating hooking up? I think we're talking dat gone
Speaker 1: out on a date with? Okay, because I've definitely flirted
Speaker 1: with some older women, like trying to get with them, um,
Speaker 1: not just in a fun way. What was I gonna say? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'd probably say dating. I'll tell you a story. One
Speaker 1: time I lied about my age, which was not good.
Speaker 1: I said I was eighteen. I was actually seventeen and
Speaker 1: she was like twenty three. Yea many years ago. It
Speaker 1: was my own fault. It was very stupid of me.
Speaker 1: I apologize, but that would probably be the biggest difference.
Speaker 1: So about six years, I guess I'd say, how about
Speaker 1: you boys, I've gone three or four years? I do
Speaker 1: remember a story. I was at a friend's wedding and
Speaker 1: there was a friend of their family, and I want
Speaker 1: to say she was there. She might have been his
Speaker 1: mom personal trainer or something. I forget what. She was
Speaker 1: very tan and very fit, and she was also a
Speaker 1: guest at this wedding, and she seemed to be very interested.
Speaker 1: And so I was probably twenty and I feel like
Speaker 1: she was probably closer to forty. And I don't know
Speaker 1: that for sure, because I was twenties. So she just
Speaker 1: seemed old. Who knows, she's probably twenty nine or something,
Speaker 1: but she just seemed old, and I want to say
Speaker 1: late thirties or forties. And it scared the hell out
Speaker 1: of me. And as lovely as she was and and
Speaker 1: and fit, and and I enjoyed the flirting, she really
Speaker 1: tried to check her to the next level. And I
Speaker 1: went and hid in my hotel room, and at one
Speaker 1: point the phone rang in my hotel room and I
Speaker 1: did not answer that because I was scared, cowering in
Speaker 1: the corner. Yeah, so I never went any further with her,
Speaker 1: but I did date three or four years, nothing much.
Speaker 1: For a while. It was all older. I thought that
Speaker 1: was kind of my thing, but then that flipped at
Speaker 1: some point. My wife is seven years younger than What
Speaker 1: were you so scared of? I don't, yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1: I think yeah, I think she's just scared me. And
Speaker 1: I was. I think her aggressiveness scared me too. Well,
Speaker 1: she's an experienced woman. I I dated a woman that
Speaker 1: was let's see, I was seventeen, she was twenty one. Um,
Speaker 1: what's that for? And then I've had one one night
Speaker 1: staying in my life and she was ten years older
Speaker 1: than me. That was exciting. Uh and um, but I have,
Speaker 1: you know, my first when I first got a job
Speaker 1: at a radio station. My very first day, I was
Speaker 1: told to go to a cougar night and it was
Speaker 1: like a dating event. It was for older women and
Speaker 1: younger men. And I was supposed to go and like
Speaker 1: report on it for the morning show. And I was,
Speaker 1: you know, I was like a horny twenty one year old.
Speaker 1: I was like this, here we go, baby, like, we're
Speaker 1: gonna get this go and uh. I went and it
Speaker 1: was all older women that were looking to meet other
Speaker 1: older men, and I was like trying to lay it on,
Speaker 1: but they weren't having any of it. And there was
Speaker 1: a few like you know, like middle aged men there
Speaker 1: and they were getting all the action and it was like,
Speaker 1: what the hell is going on? This is this is
Speaker 1: like not what kugar Nights supposed to be. And uh,
Speaker 1: I realized, at least in my town, it was like
Speaker 1: they would have these like dating events that were for
Speaker 1: like like oh, this is cougar night. Uh, this is
Speaker 1: like um like uh for athletes, and like this one's
Speaker 1: for artists. Yea, I crashed sugar Night. But like the
Speaker 1: same people would just go to all of them. It
Speaker 1: didn't matter if they fit the criteria. It was just
Speaker 1: like a bunch of people who wanted to meet each other. Um.
Speaker 1: So yeah, ten years older is the oldest I went.
Speaker 1: And we didn't date, but we had intercourse and it
Speaker 1: was fun. It sounds phenomenal. Yeah, it's a good time.
Speaker 1: You know. What's funny too, there's something about age differences
Speaker 1: because like everybody will talk about guys dating younger girls too,
Speaker 1: Like you know, there's always like the old grandpa who's
Speaker 1: dating like a twenty five year old whatever because he's
Speaker 1: old and rich. So I don't I think it just
Speaker 1: goes both ways. But like I don't know, I kind
Speaker 1: of like the idea of guys dating older women. I
Speaker 1: don't know. Well, that's the DiCaprio of the world. To
Speaker 1: the guy. You know, there's a graph that goes around
Speaker 1: to social media where you see his age, which goes
Speaker 1: up in a diagonal line like all ages to do,
Speaker 1: and then the ages of the women he did, which
Speaker 1: is a flat line across the bottom of the graph.
Speaker 1: DiCaprio can do whatever the hell he wants. The Yeah,
Speaker 1: he doesn't get a lot of a lot of them.
Speaker 1: Do we think when we see a when you see
Speaker 1: younger woman with an older man, you always think, oh,
Speaker 1: the guy, the guy's rich. Uh. And then but when
Speaker 1: you see a younger man with an older woman, like,
Speaker 1: what's the what's the vibe? You get? Yeah, not like
Speaker 1: a oh that guy like has some kind of edible
Speaker 1: thing going on or like and you think you see
Speaker 1: someone older, whether it's a man or a woman with
Speaker 1: someone significantly younger than them, I immediately think, Wow, that's
Speaker 1: they're obviously rich. Sugar mama, sugar daddy. You know interesting.
Speaker 1: I uh, I mean I get in there with you. Well,
Speaker 1: I think it's for me. I always think that when
Speaker 1: it's the older man younger woman. But when it's the
Speaker 1: younger man, older woman. I take pause before I think,
Speaker 1: before I think of the reason. I definitely, like my
Speaker 1: mind definitely thinks it's grosser when an older guy didn't
Speaker 1: younger woman. But then when a older woman dates a
Speaker 1: young guy, I'm like, good for her, right, it's not.
Speaker 1: It's not as pervy as you. It's like cool, yeah,
Speaker 1: because I think that like men naturally, just like men
Speaker 1: have a men have a power over women just as
Speaker 1: it is, which is society and which it's like messed up,
Speaker 1: but that's what it is. And I think when there's
Speaker 1: an age difference to it's like another level of it.
Speaker 1: And so it always I know there's a lot of
Speaker 1: consensual age different relationships going on out there, and I
Speaker 1: wish them all the best, but it does feel manipulative.
Speaker 1: But I don't know who am I to judge? Everyone's different.
Speaker 1: YEA fair point. I mean, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 1: People date? I don't know, but I've always found it
Speaker 1: pretty Love is love, Love is love. Ashley's nine months
Speaker 1: older than me. I like that. Yeah, so my wife's
Speaker 1: six months older than me. We got some all right,
Speaker 1: here's the hot topic. Um, this is not on your sheet.
Speaker 1: I just pulled this from something else. Alicia's silver Stone.
Speaker 1: You know, we all know she's on Riya and she
Speaker 1: has a rule on first dates. Her first date rule
Speaker 1: is no alcohol because her mind goes to sexual time
Speaker 1: after a few glasses of wine, and she says that
Speaker 1: like when she is with a guy she doesn't like
Speaker 1: him very much, she has a few drinks, suddenly she
Speaker 1: likes him a lot more, and she doesn't get an
Speaker 1: accurate opinion of who this person is because of the alcohol.
Speaker 1: So the question for you, fellas is did you have
Speaker 1: a first date rule? Did you have have rule on
Speaker 1: first dates? Maybe it was something you always wore, Maybe
Speaker 1: it was a conversation you'd stay away from her or
Speaker 1: try to get to the bottom up with this person,
Speaker 1: or maybe it's alcohol. Dude, if I ever saw Alicia
Speaker 1: silver Stone on r Holy like talk about, I mean
Speaker 1: it was pretty much Alicia's Silverstone And to Panga, those
Speaker 1: were the two big ones in the Pink Ranger. Those
Speaker 1: are the big that was the Holy Trinity right there
Speaker 1: for Jaredy but as a young man the Pink Ranger
Speaker 1: to Panga and Alicia Silverstone from Clulus and as Eastern
Speaker 1: just referenced back girl I mean, Jared, there's a part
Speaker 1: in Batman and Robin where like they're showing a computer
Speaker 1: like scanning her body for her costume, and it's just
Speaker 1: like a three D model of like her like somewhat
Speaker 1: naked body. I remember that was like the most erotic
Speaker 1: thing I'd ever seen a dude, that shot they showed
Speaker 1: her but getting into the costume like they did with
Speaker 1: Val Kilmer and George Clooney. They oh my god, dud.
Speaker 1: When they showed Alicia Silverstone, I was like, Holy hell,
Speaker 1: this is the greatest moment in my life, and even earlier.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Now we're just gonna go into like,
Speaker 1: you know, eight year old Jared's fantasy, that part where
Speaker 1: you first meet her and Batman Forever and she just
Speaker 1: comes from the school and she's got like the skirt
Speaker 1: on with like the Britney spears look pretty much, and
Speaker 1: she's like trying to peek into the window and Crystal'donald's like,
Speaker 1: I love you. Oh my god, dude. Anyway, if I
Speaker 1: everyone on a date with Alicious, I'm pretty sure Ashley
Speaker 1: would let me go on a date with Alicius Silverston
Speaker 1: right now. She'd be like, oh, just you know, make
Speaker 1: sure nothing happens. But you guys can totally to hang
Speaker 1: out because it's gonna make your life. Um, are you
Speaker 1: put off at all by some of her quirks? Like
Speaker 1: wasn't there an article that she um when her kids
Speaker 1: were a little she would shoot their food and spit
Speaker 1: it into their mouth. I know nothing of this. I
Speaker 1: don't want to know any of this. I just I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just completely be oblivious and just la la la
Speaker 1: la la, and just focus on the peak Alicia's silverstone
Speaker 1: years for For myself, this is all for selfish reasons. Um,
Speaker 1: shoot it up. And you know what though, I think
Speaker 1: Jade did that. I think Jade does that, like choose
Speaker 1: it up and spits it into her kid's mouth. So
Speaker 1: I'm not going to judge. I don't know. I don't think.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'll be able to do that anyway.
Speaker 1: I digress what we're talking about now. I'm so focused
Speaker 1: first date rules. Hers, there's no alcohol on the first date.
Speaker 1: Did you have any first date rules back when you
Speaker 1: were No? Did you guys? I don't think so. I
Speaker 1: think that's more for women. I think guys are just
Speaker 1: like happy to have a first date and whatever it happens. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I had like things I did out of superstition because
Speaker 1: like so much of it I thought came down to
Speaker 1: just pure luck. Um. But no, I didn't have any
Speaker 1: like I guess. My only rule was like, if I
Speaker 1: get to choose the first date, we're playing minuture golf.
Speaker 1: That was my rule. Yeah, I do like that, even
Speaker 1: though study came out recently that women do not want
Speaker 1: to play a minuture golf. I learned that the hard
Speaker 1: way through many years. Uh you know what I never
Speaker 1: did on first dates because I was terrified of being caught.
Speaker 1: I never brought a condom. Yeah, smart, because I was
Speaker 1: always terrified that I'd open my wallet and then that
Speaker 1: would fall out and then the girl would be like, oh,
Speaker 1: so you're obviously expecting something to happen tonight. So I
Speaker 1: never did that. My only rule is ordering food. You
Speaker 1: gotta be careful ordering food because you don't want to
Speaker 1: get something that you're gonna spill on yourself. You know
Speaker 1: you're not gonna get ribs because you look like an
Speaker 1: idiot eating ribs. No one looks cool eating ribs. You
Speaker 1: have to factor in your order your entree something you
Speaker 1: can look kind of sexy eating. Yeah, I agree, any
Speaker 1: type of yeah. Yeah, I don't know what that is either,
Speaker 1: but yeah, most definitely stay away from ribs, any type
Speaker 1: of finger foods. I feel like messy finger foods. Wings. No,
Speaker 1: get the hell out of here with wings. But also
Speaker 1: don't don't order a salad like like, if you're going
Speaker 1: to get a salad, get like a souped up salad,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. That's fine. If you get
Speaker 1: like a cob salad with chicken, perfect, fine with that,
Speaker 1: but like, don't get a side salad for dinner. You know,
Speaker 1: let's eat. Yeah, sure, let's see that makes sense. All right,
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break. And then we got some
Speaker 1: emails on the other side, and who knows, maybe Dean
Speaker 1: will be here for him. Hey, welcome back to help
Speaker 1: I suck at dating. And we've got some emails Mark,
Speaker 1: would you mind reading them? Certainly. Veronica has listened that
Speaker 1: she has a proud member of Suck Army, and she
Speaker 1: has this to ask, do you think hating your significant
Speaker 1: at others parents is a deal breaker. I've dating my
Speaker 1: boyfriend from with a year now and I still don't
Speaker 1: get along with his parents. They never ask any questions
Speaker 1: about me or try to get to know me at all.
Speaker 1: I get upset when they bring up his ex girlfriend
Speaker 1: who they were close to. I've talked to my boyfriend
Speaker 1: about and he stands up for me, But at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, they are still his parents. Feel
Speaker 1: like my relationship with his parents won't improve, and I
Speaker 1: don't know what to do. I picture a future with
Speaker 1: this guy, but I just keep thinking about how I
Speaker 1: wouldn't want them to be my in laws, and I
Speaker 1: don't know if this is a deal breaker. This sucks.
Speaker 1: I could never imagine not getting along with Ashley's parents
Speaker 1: like that would be. I could not imagine it. We're
Speaker 1: just too ingrained in each other's lives. The idea of
Speaker 1: just not being able to be myself around these people home. Man,
Speaker 1: that sucks, and it is a factor. I hate saying
Speaker 1: it because I wish I could just be like, oh,
Speaker 1: love conquers all and it's all gonna be fine, and
Speaker 1: as long as you love each other, that's all that matters. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: that's not all that matters, Like family dynamics matter, you know,
Speaker 1: because I feel like, if you don't get along with
Speaker 1: her parents, uh, like, then it's it's gonna cause resentment,
Speaker 1: and I don't know it's tough. I'm not saying in
Speaker 1: the relationship, but do whatever you can to improve the
Speaker 1: relationship with the parents. Suck up, keep sucking, keep sucking up.
Speaker 1: Let me finish that statement. Sorry. Is there any chance
Speaker 1: of moving into a different part of the country. Is
Speaker 1: there any chance of them moving to a different part
Speaker 1: of the country. I don't know this is bad because, again,
Speaker 1: like tered said, that would be really uncomfortable. I love
Speaker 1: spending time with my in laws, and I don't know
Speaker 1: how I would deal with it otherwise, So I think
Speaker 1: it is a potential deal breaker. But I wonder what
Speaker 1: There's a stereotype that we turn into our parents, right
Speaker 1: the guys turn into their dads and and women turn
Speaker 1: into their mom's. Have you guys found that to be
Speaker 1: the case to think there's any validity to that. I
Speaker 1: think Ashley is becoming. The more time I spend with
Speaker 1: her parents, the more I see Ashley in her both
Speaker 1: her parents, you know, personality, traits, mannerisms, so I think.
Speaker 1: And the older she gets, I think the more she becomes. Honestly,
Speaker 1: probably like I probably like her mom. I've always felt
Speaker 1: like she was her dad. But the more the older
Speaker 1: she gets, the more she becomes her mom point is
Speaker 1: I agree with that statement, right, And and when she
Speaker 1: asked kids, I imagine that would just get even more so,
Speaker 1: so I think you got to ask yourself that, can
Speaker 1: you see yourself being married to his dad? He's gonna
Speaker 1: become that guy over time? What do you think? I
Speaker 1: always think like if you really really love this guy,
Speaker 1: like you know, you can have a world where the
Speaker 1: in laws like aren't that don't play a big of
Speaker 1: a role or But I just think like that's gonna
Speaker 1: be a hard thing to ignore. And and once you
Speaker 1: have kids, I think it's going to um amplify because
Speaker 1: I'm just picturing like they're gonna have comments on how
Speaker 1: you're raising you know, like they're just gonna be around
Speaker 1: all the time. Uh So I gotta yeah. I don't
Speaker 1: want to say it's a deal breaker because like I
Speaker 1: feel like it can be fixed. Um, but it's gonna
Speaker 1: take effort on both parties. I know it's definitely gonna
Speaker 1: take effort. I think there has to be a certain
Speaker 1: if you really want this relationship to last, I think
Speaker 1: it's going to take a certain level of respect by
Speaker 1: both yourself and the in laws to you know, be
Speaker 1: cordial with each other, but maybe not be bestie besties.
Speaker 1: So like, unfortunately, Veronica, you're probably gonna have to swallow
Speaker 1: your pride a little bit when you're around them, and
Speaker 1: when they like say snarky comments or like backhanded compliments,
Speaker 1: you're just gonna have to be like, oh, okay, that's fine,
Speaker 1: and then just like vent to your friends about it.
Speaker 1: What I would say is definitely don't vent to your
Speaker 1: boyfriend because that is his mom and dad. So like, yeah,
Speaker 1: but he's gotta be he's gotta stand up for her.
Speaker 1: He's got to be her biggest cheerleaders, got to help
Speaker 1: them come around. It sounds like they had a real
Speaker 1: attachment to the X. Yeah, maybe they'll get over that
Speaker 1: if if, if they if she becomes the one and
Speaker 1: they realize that she is the one, maybe that'll improve totally.
Speaker 1: I hope so it better. I have hoped for this
Speaker 1: because maybe maybe I didn't understand the out correctly. But
Speaker 1: it seems like their offenses are that they bring up
Speaker 1: the excellent time and they don't ask about her and
Speaker 1: don't engage with her very much. It doesn't it's not
Speaker 1: like they're actively being like mean to her right, Like,
Speaker 1: they're not like insulting her or like being aggressive aggressively cruel.
Speaker 1: It just seems like they're like not that interested in her,
Speaker 1: hung up on the X sill. And if that's the case, Hey, hey,
Speaker 1: email or I think you can be you can turn
Speaker 1: that charm on. You can make them fall in love
Speaker 1: with you too. I mean, you got the sun. How
Speaker 1: hard could it be? Yeah? Pretty much what needs to happen, Veronica,
Speaker 1: because you need your boyfriend to put a ring on you,
Speaker 1: so they just like fully accept that you are the future.
Speaker 1: It is you, it is not the X and they
Speaker 1: just need to come to terms with that. So maybe
Speaker 1: maybe you know, some pressures on the boyfriend here. That's
Speaker 1: just true. I didn't think about how they're not like
Speaker 1: she's thinking about the future with them. But I think
Speaker 1: if he asks her to marry him, that could change
Speaker 1: the parents tune quite a bit. You're you're right, Jade.
Speaker 1: Well let's see if I'm right. Usually I'm not, so, Veronica,
Speaker 1: take the advice with a grain assault. That's gonna do
Speaker 1: it for this week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating?
Speaker 1: Please keep emailing us, Veronica, Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: sending us your email and please everybody, it is I
Speaker 1: suck at Dating at i heeart Media dot com. Ill
Speaker 1: said again, because I messed up. I suck at dating
Speaker 1: at i heeart media dot com. Please email us with
Speaker 1: your dating stories. Uh. Any questions you have for us,
Speaker 1: You can of course follow us on Instagram help I
Speaker 1: Suck at Dating. Thank you to Britt Whitmore from of
Speaker 1: Course Naked and Afraid of Love, which is now on
Speaker 1: Discovery Plus. Check it out. Britt was awesome, great interview. Uh,
Speaker 1: please come back anytime. Hopefully Dean will I'm sure Dean
Speaker 1: will be here next week. I know he's got some
Speaker 1: I think he's gonna Laska right now. He's got some
Speaker 1: bad WiFi, So make sure you tune in next week.
Speaker 1: We're myself and Dean will be here and hopefully we
Speaker 1: all suck just a little bit less. Follow help by
Speaker 1: Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you
Speaker 1: listen to podcast