WEBVTT - Jared Bares All 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.720 Hell I Suck It Dating with Denglert and Dared Haven 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:10.879 and I heard radio podcast. Hey, welcome to help I 0:00:11.039 --> 0:00:14.680 Suck at Dating. I'm Jared Haven. I'm currently recording from 0:00:15.040 --> 0:00:18.239 our coffee shop in South Kingston, Rhode Island. And it's 0:00:18.280 --> 0:00:21.520 a little bear in the office part right now, which 0:00:21.520 --> 0:00:23.320 is why you might hear a little bit of an echo. 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:24.840 I don't know if I should put like a bag 0:00:24.920 --> 0:00:26.720 over my head or something. I'm not really sure, but 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:31.040 hopefully Eastern are wonderful editor and producer will be able 0:00:31.080 --> 0:00:32.680 to fix this audio up a little bit for you. 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:35.479 Dean is Uh. I gotta be honest, I don't know 0:00:35.520 --> 0:00:37.280 where the hell Deane is. I think he's in Alaska. 0:00:37.440 --> 0:00:39.480 The WiFi is not really that good, so I'm hoping 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:41.440 that he joins us at some point throughout this podcast. 0:00:41.440 --> 0:00:42.920 But we have a very special guest that we're gonna 0:00:42.960 --> 0:00:45.879 start right off the top with. It is Uh. You 0:00:45.920 --> 0:00:48.680 know her from Naked and Afraid of Love, which is 0:00:48.720 --> 0:00:51.720 on Discovery Plus it is Britt with more Britt. How 0:00:51.760 --> 0:00:55.080 are you? I'm great. How are you doing today, Jared? 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:57.560 I'm doing well. My wife is tapping me on the show. 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:02.560 There what could you possibly want to. Okay, by bye, 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:07.520 oh Brett, oh god. So well, this is what happens 0:01:07.560 --> 0:01:09.800 when you're married and your wife is pregnant and you're 0:01:09.800 --> 0:01:14.040 opening up a shop and all chaos comes in. But dogs, 0:01:14.040 --> 0:01:17.160 so just fair warning. She may bark, she may see her. 0:01:17.600 --> 0:01:19.800 Oh that's fine. I missed my dog so much. My 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:21.360 dog puld be so much pleasure. I wish she was 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:24.320 here right now. Um So, Britt, tell us a little 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:27.560 bit about yourself. I know that you're from Seattle and 0:01:27.640 --> 0:01:30.640 you're now living in Los Angeles though, right, yeah, so 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:33.640 I'm actually from North Carolina. I did not claim Seattle 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:36.160 as my home. I was like born and raised in 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:39.520 North Carolina, true Southern girl to her roots. Still have 0:01:39.600 --> 0:01:42.920 all my southern like all the things southern. Um. But 0:01:43.040 --> 0:01:45.240 I lived in Seattle for seven years. I moved out 0:01:45.280 --> 0:01:48.440 there to work for Amazon, and then, um yeah, just 0:01:48.520 --> 0:01:50.520 like a month ago, I moved down to l A. 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:52.920 Which is kind of crazy. It still feels weird that 0:01:52.960 --> 0:01:57.400 I'm here. Well part of a Hollywood hills. Okay, so 0:01:57.600 --> 0:02:00.240 we lived in West Hollywood for about are in a 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:03.040 half years. I love West Hollywood. How did you like 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:06.000 it it? I'm not an l a kid. I'm such 0:02:06.000 --> 0:02:08.919 an East Coast guy that it just wasn't my vibe. Now, Listen, 0:02:09.040 --> 0:02:11.359 it has a lot of perks, like walking in front 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:14.080 of the Chinese theater and as a as somebody who 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:17.320 loves movies, you know, that was super cool being in 0:02:17.360 --> 0:02:21.000 the city where movies are made. That was awesome, But 0:02:21.040 --> 0:02:24.760 everything else kind of sucked. Yeah, you know, I went 0:02:24.800 --> 0:02:28.400 to Santa Barbara yesterday for a concert and the traffic. 0:02:28.639 --> 0:02:30.920 I was like, no, I don't think I'm ever going 0:02:31.000 --> 0:02:33.680 to be okay with this. No, it's the worst people 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:37.079 drive like here, Oh, it's the worst drivers. Everybody's like, oh, 0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:39.400 Massachusetts have the worst drivers, in New York has the 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:42.399 worst drivers. No, Los Angeles has the worst driving I've 0:02:42.400 --> 0:02:46.560 ever dealt with in my entire life, because not only 0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:50.120 are they bad drivers, but they're just so self absorbed, 0:02:50.200 --> 0:02:54.000 as if everybody should just revolve they're driving around them, 0:02:54.040 --> 0:02:58.880 those sons of bitches. I'll tell you you, thank you. Finally, 0:02:59.040 --> 0:03:03.520 I've been like, there's so entitled, like over in front 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:07.680 of you. Listen, I'm getting aggressive though, so I'm fitting 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:09.680 in perfectly. The only way you can drive out there, 0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:12.840 so naked and afraid of love. Tell us a little 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:14.120 bit about it. Why do you want to go on 0:03:14.120 --> 0:03:18.000 this show? Yeah? So, I mean in terms of the why, 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:21.440 I think I had honestly tried everything, so it was like, 0:03:21.480 --> 0:03:23.960 why the hell not? Right, someone was like, well, let's 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:29.200 get naked and meet strangers. Okay, like that sounds interesting. Yeah, 0:03:29.280 --> 0:03:34.119 and it sounds like a Tuesday Nights right right exactly. Um. So, 0:03:34.440 --> 0:03:36.480 and I was more so intrigued to by the fact 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:39.440 that they strip everything away from you. So like some 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:43.080 of the other shows like The Bachelor, which you're aware of, um, 0:03:43.120 --> 0:03:46.680 they add things, right, so these like extravagant dates, the alcohol, 0:03:46.840 --> 0:03:49.600 like all of that stuff, which is fun and gives 0:03:49.600 --> 0:03:54.200 you almost like a false sense of what to expact maybe, um. 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:56.440 But with this, they take everything away from you and 0:03:56.440 --> 0:03:59.480 it's not fun, Like it was not fun for the 0:03:59.520 --> 0:04:02.640 most part, hurt um. But it forces you to be 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:06.760 in a situation that's of course physically very vulnerable. You're 0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:11.960 completely nude, um, meeting strangers. But then also like I 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:16.240 think that that physical vulnerability also kind of forces you 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:20.599 to become emotionally vulnerable too. Um. And so I was, yeah, 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:23.160 I was intrigued, and I was like, sign me up. 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:26.360 Let's see what happened. So you're legitimately naked on this show. 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:29.599 That's a question I've always had about naked and afraid 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:33.839 as naked like nothing sitting in the sand. Do you 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:37.760 have little crabs, little sand crawling in places where they 0:04:37.760 --> 0:04:42.120 should not be crawling. Um, it was very uncomfortable, like 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:47.159 very uncomfortable. So do you think you kind of addressed that? 0:04:47.240 --> 0:04:50.159 You feel like it actually helps you confront things You 0:04:50.200 --> 0:04:52.760 have to like bear your soul as much as you're 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:55.479 bearing your skin. But do you think that that that, 0:04:55.800 --> 0:05:01.760 like seeing the other person fully naked helps or hurts. Um. Honestly, 0:05:02.360 --> 0:05:05.040 it became the norm. So it's like walking around you 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:08.200 see people with clothes on, that's the norm. Seeing people 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:10.919 naked was the norm in this environment. So I don't 0:05:11.000 --> 0:05:14.560 know that that like you just get like you just 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:17.159 get used to it, If that makes sense, I would 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:20.800 be cowering in the corner like there was to give you. 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:23.400 There was a date on my season at the Bachelorette. 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:26.719 It was a sumo wrestling date and all the guys 0:05:26.760 --> 0:05:29.080 had to wear I forget what they're called, but they're 0:05:29.120 --> 0:05:33.400 like thongs pretty much when you go sumo wrestling exactly, 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:35.920 but it's legitimately like a thong. It rides up there. 0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:40.360 So I was I can't tell you, I was about 0:05:40.360 --> 0:05:42.120 to throw up because I was so nervous that they 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:43.520 were going to put me on this date and that 0:05:43.680 --> 0:05:46.200 everybody was going to see my hairy ass. And I 0:05:46.240 --> 0:05:49.280 was like, this is I'm not joking. I was talking Actually, Ben, 0:05:49.320 --> 0:05:51.800 Ben will be fully honest about this. Ben Higgins, who 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:54.080 was also on our season of the Bachelor, rette him 0:05:54.080 --> 0:05:56.039 and I were about to go upstairs and quickly like 0:05:56.240 --> 0:05:58.480 shave as much as we possibly could down there, just 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:00.880 because we were so nerve. Is that like we're going 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:03.279 to put this thong on? You know? I listen, I 0:06:03.520 --> 0:06:06.400 it's no one would describe me as having like a 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:08.840 big booty, So like I was terrified. I can only 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:12.760 imagine going on this show and having to be naked 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:14.000 all the time. I don't even know if I'd be 0:06:14.040 --> 0:06:17.560 able to speak, I'd be too insecure. Listen, you know, 0:06:17.800 --> 0:06:20.920 I think in the beginning, there is obviously that level 0:06:20.960 --> 0:06:23.520 of like this is super awkward and uncomfortable, like do 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:26.000 I look what if they catch me looking? But like 0:06:26.080 --> 0:06:28.480 you want to see what you're working with. Two So 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:30.880 it was like this like conflicting moment where I didn't 0:06:30.880 --> 0:06:34.559 know what to do, and uh yeah, I think that 0:06:35.040 --> 0:06:37.320 you just you just get used to it. But I 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:40.360 will say it was a moment and I will never 0:06:40.400 --> 0:06:43.000 forget this where I'm hiking through the jungle and I'm 0:06:43.000 --> 0:06:46.520 like going up this hill, I've got the cameraman behind 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:50.000 me and like my goodies are just all in their face. 0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:53.040 I remembered in that moment that I was naked, and 0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:57.040 I got so uncomfortable, so uncomfortable because I'm like, oh 0:06:57.040 --> 0:06:59.520 my god, they're seeing all of the bits and like 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:02.640 way that know what's ever seen? I know, I guess 0:07:02.720 --> 0:07:04.799 especially for a woman, that must be kind of creepy. 0:07:05.200 --> 0:07:08.600 If it's like a guy cameraman who's just great there 0:07:08.680 --> 0:07:11.960 up in your business. I mean, it wasn't creepy. I 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:14.840 wouldn't use that term. It was just like it was 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:17.400 a reminder that I was naked. All the The crew 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:20.240 was phenomenal, like they made sure that we did not 0:07:20.280 --> 0:07:22.920 feel uncomfortable, Like it was like they were extra cost 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:25.600 that's cool, that's good to hear. Yeah, like they did. 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:28.080 They did a really really nice time. They were naked 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:30.320 as well. It was so much fun right right, we 0:07:30.320 --> 0:07:34.080 were all just naked. Um, No, they weren't, but it 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:35.840 would have been interesting if they were. I feel like, 0:07:36.320 --> 0:07:39.360 if there's like another season, they should do that. Yeah. 0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:41.480 It's kind of like, what's the type of acting that 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:44.600 they call where you just fully immerse yourself into the character. Oh, 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:47.680 I don't know the world anyway, you know how Like 0:07:47.720 --> 0:07:49.679 they have stories about like whether it be Heath Ledger 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:51.600 Jared Letto as a joker where they acted like the 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:53.720 joker on and off camera. It could be like the 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:56.080 producers are making it afraid. They're like, hey, we're fully 0:07:56.360 --> 0:07:58.800 we're committing as a producer here, we're going full nude. 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:02.760 I would appreciate that. Has this changed your perspective on 0:08:02.840 --> 0:08:07.040 dating at all after dating naked? I think so honestly, Um, 0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:10.480 I think that because I was so still like backstory, 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:14.120 I'm not one to be super vulnerable and open up quickly, 0:08:14.200 --> 0:08:16.600 Like that's just not in my character. I'm a little 0:08:16.600 --> 0:08:18.800 bit more reserved. I like to I don't want to 0:08:18.800 --> 0:08:21.400 say play games, but like I like to keep them guessing, 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:25.280 you know. And I think that this kind of showed 0:08:25.280 --> 0:08:27.320 me that it's okay to put all your cards on 0:08:27.360 --> 0:08:30.160 the table and just be extremely vulnerable and open up, 0:08:30.720 --> 0:08:34.319 um about one what you want, your boundaries, like your 0:08:34.360 --> 0:08:37.400 trauma that you've hopefully overcome or that you're working on, 0:08:37.440 --> 0:08:40.880 and just put that all on the table, um, And 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:43.520 it tells you very quickly whether or not someone's going 0:08:43.559 --> 0:08:45.720 to be a match. And so it's kind of changed 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:48.319 how I date in terms of like I'm just gonna 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:53.160 put it all out there and if that scares you away, okay, goodbye, right, 0:08:54.120 --> 0:08:56.880 But if not, great, let's see like what could develop 0:08:56.960 --> 0:08:59.720 from this. And so it's just made me more comfortable 0:08:59.760 --> 0:09:03.000 with being vulnerable. I think, what are you most afraid 0:09:03.040 --> 0:09:07.640 of about love? Oh? God, how many time you got 0:09:08.400 --> 0:09:12.079 all the time in the world. Um, I don't know. 0:09:12.320 --> 0:09:14.760 Like love is just such a tricky thing. I think 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:18.199 that it's a huge risk, right, Like you're putting yourself 0:09:18.240 --> 0:09:20.360 out there and you're trusting that this other person is 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:22.760 going to be there and like put themselves out there 0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:27.440 and and match you, right, like reciprocate your feelings, and 0:09:28.480 --> 0:09:31.880 there's a risk that they may not. And that's devastating. 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:36.040 And I've been there, right. Um, you know, my last 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:39.040 X we were together for three years and I showed 0:09:39.120 --> 0:09:41.719 up every day giving a hundred percent if not a 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:44.520 hundred and ten, and I was lucky if I got 0:09:44.559 --> 0:09:47.040 six from him, And the way that it made me 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:53.000 feel about myself, like it took a toll on my confidence, um, 0:09:53.040 --> 0:09:56.360 like my character, Like I became someone that I didn't 0:09:56.400 --> 0:10:00.280 recognize anymore. And I think that that's it's scary, and 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:01.920 so I think that's one of the biggest things that 0:10:02.000 --> 0:10:05.200 kind of frightens me about love. And then it's also like, well, 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:07.200 what if I meet someone and I'm like, oh my god, 0:10:07.240 --> 0:10:10.600 they're amazing, that's kind of scary too. Yeah, it's terrifying 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:14.719 because then yeah, you're you're not that your happiness is 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:17.480 in their hands, but a big part of it is. 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:21.199 And that's terrifying, whether people want to admit it or not. 0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:24.120 Like I'm all for obviously being happy for your own 0:10:24.200 --> 0:10:27.880 like self happiness and self love, but at some point, like, yeah, 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:30.880 happiness does come from you know, a significant other, which 0:10:30.880 --> 0:10:33.040 is why we're all looking for love and looking for 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:35.960 that partner. So, um, yeah, what do you what do 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:38.240 you look for in in guys? What's your some of 0:10:38.320 --> 0:10:40.280 the pros and cons? What are some of the attributes 0:10:40.320 --> 0:10:42.079 you look for? So somebody was like, hey, I want 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:44.600 a day, Britt. What should they be doing? They need 0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:47.640 to be funny, Like I have a pretty witty personality, 0:10:47.760 --> 0:10:49.440 and so if they don't get my jokes in my 0:10:49.559 --> 0:10:54.560 sense of humor, for just not um. So that's like 0:10:54.720 --> 0:10:59.160 huge for me. Another thing smart, I'd like to have 0:10:59.240 --> 0:11:03.680 really in depth intellectual conversations. Um. And then I would 0:11:03.679 --> 0:11:07.560 say also like someone's driven and successful, like I have 0:11:07.720 --> 0:11:10.280 worked really hard in my career and I continue to 0:11:10.480 --> 0:11:12.760 drive and push myself, and so I need someone who 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:16.640 has that same energy. But like someone that's playful. We 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:20.040 can go adventure like ride our bites. Oh. One thing 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:22.920 that's a huge, huge need for me. They need to 0:11:23.000 --> 0:11:25.480 like the same music that I do. What music do 0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:28.880 you like? Kind of like indie vibe? So like last 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:31.280 night I went and saw My Morning Jacket UM in 0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:34.560 Santa Barbara. And so I just need someone that can 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:36.880 like go to shows with me, like I love going 0:11:36.960 --> 0:11:41.400 to any live shows, meet festivals. Would the Smiths count 0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:46.920 as indie? Okay? I love the Smiths? Yeah, the good stuff. Yeah, 0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:48.719 I have some great playlists I can share with you 0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:50.600 at some point. Oh, I would love that. I love 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:52.120 like my wife makes fun of me all the time. 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:54.960 But I'm a big indie coffee house. Like I'm the 0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:57.000 most basic person you ever going to meet. But I 0:11:57.080 --> 0:12:01.319 love it. Music is my love language, Like making playlists. 0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:04.520 If I make a playlist for someone, it's like yeah, 0:12:05.040 --> 0:12:07.800 and then you're in. If we get there and I 0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:12.280 sent you a playlist. How old you? Okay, so you're 0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:15.160 my age? So you remember like burning CDs for people? 0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:19.960 Oh my god, Yeah that was the best. Like I 0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:23.199 actually really missed that. I'm so funny. Actually, when I 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:25.320 was home a couple of years ago, the last night 0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:27.280 I was almost like two years ago. That's really sad, 0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:31.520 North Carolina. Home in North Carolina. Yeah, in my room, 0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:35.520 my parents like haven't changed anything. I looked under my 0:12:35.559 --> 0:12:38.520 bed and there's like a ton of just like burn CDs. 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:42.920 This is phenomenal. Oh, it was the best. I remember 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:46.960 in my car, I had the CD you know whatever 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:49.000 you call it, the when you put your CDs on 0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:52.120 the rear view mirror, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, 0:12:52.120 --> 0:12:54.160 oh my god. I had I'm not joking, probably like 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:56.440 thirty six CDs and they were all scratched up because 0:12:56.440 --> 0:12:58.560 I would always pile them on top of each other 0:12:59.080 --> 0:13:03.000 and it would just be like nineties eighties alternative like 0:13:03.120 --> 0:13:07.920 work out. So it's so good, so much better. I 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:11.040 missed those days. Oh it's the best. I missed something tangible, like, 0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:12.960 don't get me wrong, like having music on my phone 0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:15.640 is the coolest thing ever. But like burning a CD, 0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:18.600 putting a CD into a CD player, even like DVDs, 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:20.920 like having something tangible in your hand. God, those are 0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:23.240 the good old days. These kids. Now we sound really old. 0:13:23.280 --> 0:13:25.000 It's like all these kids they don't know these days. 0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:30.240 They're so young. To the vinyl game player and like 0:13:30.320 --> 0:13:34.560 my vinyl collection is growing. Oh yeah, does it actually 0:13:34.679 --> 0:13:38.000 sound better? I think it's done. But you have to 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:40.560 have like a decent like I invested in a good 0:13:40.559 --> 0:13:44.280 record player because I love music so much, and I 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:48.560 have good speakers, and so my sound quality is like 0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:52.280 top notch. I can't imagine, because I hear people say 0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:54.000 that all the time, like all the records sound so 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:55.960 much better, and like does it really sound better than 0:13:55.960 --> 0:14:00.360 a bluetooth speaker? Okay, here's one thing I will say 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:03.400 about that really quickly, is that you're listening to the 0:14:03.480 --> 0:14:05.640 album in the way that the artist intended you to 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:10.600 listen to it, which is very It's very cool because 0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:13.240 sometimes you can pick up like I love lyrics, you 0:14:13.280 --> 0:14:16.440 can pick up on like stories and themes. It's it's 0:14:16.480 --> 0:14:19.280 really cool. It's a whole experience, all right. That's fair. 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:22.680 That's fair. I can understand that one. You got it. Um, 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:25.080 So I want to know too about what do you 0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:29.280 think the best experience or thing that came from the show, 0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:33.280 obviously going on Naked and Afraid of Love? And what 0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:36.160 do you think the worst either part of the show 0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:38.560 or what came from the show, Like the best thing 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:41.320 that came from the show, and then the worst. Okay, 0:14:41.360 --> 0:14:44.240 I'll start with the worst because it's actually something I'm 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:47.040 experiencing now and you may be able to relate being 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:51.440 on reality TV as well. Um, the level of scrutiny 0:14:51.600 --> 0:14:57.600 and just kind of like people are mean. So now, 0:14:57.680 --> 0:15:01.280 most people are great. Most people are great, and I 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:04.200 think you'll experience this as well. Like people are but 0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:08.520 there is a loud, very loud minority who are just 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:15.560 mean and suck. They sucked so bad, listen, I had 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:18.800 to like literally delete Reddit off of my phone. My 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:25.840 eyebrows stop their own subreddit. I have great, thank you, 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:29.480 and everyone is dissing them, and I'm like, oh my gosh, 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:32.560 it's a good thing I'm confident with my eyebrows. Otherwise 0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:37.280 that would be really personally. Like I say, that's that's 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:41.960 been challenging is coming off of of the show, um 0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:45.800 and just kind of you know, seeing what's on Twitter 0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:48.640 and and that kind of thing, and just help harsh 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:51.520 people can be totally. Definitely you need some fixkin to 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:54.520 be a public figure. Yeah. And one thing too that 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:57.400 I'll add to that is, you know, there's hours and 0:15:57.520 --> 0:16:00.160 hours of footage when you're filming, and there's a lot 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:03.280 of things that don't make it on air that, in 0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:07.480 my opinion, are important things that I wish made it 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:11.840 on air, and like their character building and developing, and 0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:14.680 so I feel like it doesn't always do a person 0:16:14.800 --> 0:16:18.240 justice what I'm seeing on TV, which kind of sucks. 0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:22.720 But that's the reality of it and that's okay. But yeah, 0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:25.680 that's one of the things I'm struggling with. And then, um, 0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:27.480 one of the good things that came from it is 0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:32.600 I developed some great, like long term friendships, like really 0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:39.280 and truly Nelson best friend. I love him so much. 0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:42.560 Um And yeah, and I've made some really good girlfriends 0:16:42.560 --> 0:16:45.160 from the show as well, and so I think that, 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:48.120 you know, we have this like it's like a different bond, 0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:51.560 you know, And so yeah, it's it's really cool to 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:54.280 see that. And then I learned to just trust myself 0:16:54.320 --> 0:16:57.600 and my gut, my instinct um, and I learned that 0:16:57.840 --> 0:16:59.720 who I am as a person is pretty cool and 0:16:59.720 --> 0:17:01.760 I to be ashamed to put on my cards on 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:06.520 the table totally, you know, coming out of that and 0:17:06.560 --> 0:17:10.520 having that mindset. Yeah, I totally relate what you were 0:17:10.520 --> 0:17:12.480 saying about this certain bond that you have with people 0:17:12.480 --> 0:17:14.639 that you went on the show. It's like camp, you know, 0:17:15.480 --> 0:17:18.040 it's like going to you know, a month long camp 0:17:18.080 --> 0:17:20.400 with with your friends or people that you have met, 0:17:20.840 --> 0:17:23.440 and you go through this like really crazy, unique experience 0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:25.800 that no one else can really understand besides you who 0:17:25.840 --> 0:17:28.280 went through it together. And that creates a special bond, 0:17:28.320 --> 0:17:30.399 which is what happened with us on The Bachelor and 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:32.359 with you and they can afraid of love. So I 0:17:32.680 --> 0:17:35.480 totally understand. That's definitely the best part about Like I agree, 0:17:35.760 --> 0:17:38.560 coming out obviously married and meeting my wife is incredible 0:17:38.720 --> 0:17:40.720 number one, but number two right behind is like the 0:17:40.880 --> 0:17:44.119 friendships and you know, the people. So I I think 0:17:44.160 --> 0:17:45.720 about my wedding all the time and the people that 0:17:45.760 --> 0:17:47.800 were there and the people that like I met from 0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:50.800 the show, whether it be producers or cast or people 0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:53.159 on different seasons, and it's like, man, I have this 0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:56.800 entire life that just came from Bachelor and you know, 0:17:56.960 --> 0:18:00.280 and now you as well. Yeah, which is crazy because 0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:03.040 it's like I would have never imagined this from my life, 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:06.399 like our past would have never crossed. I am so 0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:09.439 so fortunate that they did because these are some of 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:13.240 the like realist friendships that I have, which is so 0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:15.960 weird to even think about. We didn't know each other 0:18:16.040 --> 0:18:18.720 at all, were strangers, you know. Is it weird to 0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:23.600 say that now some of your closest friends you've seen naked. Yeah. 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:26.320 And it's so funny because Nelson without my apartment. He 0:18:26.359 --> 0:18:28.320 lives in l A as well. And I was like, 0:18:28.400 --> 0:18:30.080 let's go to the pool, like do you have your 0:18:30.080 --> 0:18:32.119 so suit? And he's like yeah, and I was like cool, 0:18:32.160 --> 0:18:34.480 I'm going to change real quick. And I like was 0:18:34.600 --> 0:18:38.160 hiding behind the door and I was like, you've seen 0:18:38.240 --> 0:18:44.000 everything that is crazy. It saw me at my absolute worst, 0:18:44.040 --> 0:18:46.840 So it's like who cares at this point? I know, 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:50.639 it's so funny. You ever see Seinfeld? Oh yeah, okay. 0:18:50.640 --> 0:18:52.240 All I can think about whenever I think of naked 0:18:52.280 --> 0:18:54.880 is afraid is the time that Jerry's girlfriend always walks 0:18:54.880 --> 0:18:58.520 around naked around the apartment and like she's like she's 0:18:58.520 --> 0:19:01.840 like fixing a bicycle and then like cracking pickles, and 0:19:01.840 --> 0:19:04.720 he's like, she's a beautiful woman. But sometimes you shouldn't 0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:06.920 be seeing the things that you see when someone is naked. 0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:09.119 And then like he starts walking around naked and she 0:19:09.160 --> 0:19:12.280 can't stop picturing him like looking like a gorilla because 0:19:12.280 --> 0:19:15.760 he's so hairy. And I was too like with with 0:19:16.119 --> 0:19:21.480 potential partners seeing you and your actual worst. Like the 0:19:21.520 --> 0:19:23.840 man I dated for three years, I would have never 0:19:23.920 --> 0:19:25.719 wanted him to see me in the condition that I 0:19:25.800 --> 0:19:28.720 was in and we lived together, um, and so these 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:30.679 people see that you're absolute worst. So it's like if 0:19:30.720 --> 0:19:33.560 they accept you, they are they are real. You know, 0:19:33.760 --> 0:19:36.439 Like I still feel uncomfortable standing just like fully naked 0:19:36.480 --> 0:19:39.000 in front of Ashley. It's like it's just I wasn't 0:19:39.119 --> 0:19:41.639 I wasn't meant to be seen like this, you know. 0:19:41.880 --> 0:19:44.800 I know I should embrace it, but it's just one 0:19:44.880 --> 0:19:48.480 I think I mean, obviously, I'm I'm also attracted to women, 0:19:48.520 --> 0:19:50.680 so obviously I think that the female body is much 0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:54.280 prettier than the male body. But I also yeah, it 0:19:54.400 --> 0:19:57.800 just is. But it's just also like I'm less like 0:19:57.880 --> 0:20:00.800 I'm like flexing or like feeling good about myself. Like 0:20:00.840 --> 0:20:02.840 I can imagine just like sitting there letting my gut 0:20:02.840 --> 0:20:04.480 hang out and like, all right, this is me, Ashley, 0:20:04.560 --> 0:20:08.080 take it and leave it, um, but hey, it's a 0:20:08.280 --> 0:20:10.440 but like you said, it's it's great to be vulnerable 0:20:10.480 --> 0:20:12.520 and let go and like, you know, if they love 0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:14.439 you at your worst, then they're gonna really love you 0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:18.679 at your best exactly. And I think like that was 0:20:18.720 --> 0:20:20.359 one of the biggest things on the show was like 0:20:20.480 --> 0:20:24.160 listen up, We're seeing me at my absolute worst and 0:20:24.200 --> 0:20:27.280 like really uncomfortable, like a place that I'm not familiar with, 0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:29.679 doing something that I don't have a lot of experience 0:20:29.720 --> 0:20:32.840 and totally and if they like, like that's a huge deal, 0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:35.640 that's awesome. Well, Britt, thank you so much for coming 0:20:35.680 --> 0:20:39.400 on the podcast. We really appreciate it. Everybody who's listening. 0:20:39.440 --> 0:20:42.479 Again on Discovery Plus, go watch Naked and Afraid of 0:20:42.560 --> 0:20:45.320 Love right now. Britt whitmore. Thank you so much for 0:20:45.400 --> 0:20:47.439 joining us. Thank you so much for having me. It 0:20:47.520 --> 0:21:01.080 was a pleasure. All right. Well, back to help by 0:21:01.480 --> 0:21:04.119 suck At Dating. We're going to rename this to the 0:21:04.200 --> 0:21:09.400 Help by suck At Podcasting because we're big struggle struggle 0:21:09.400 --> 0:21:13.000