WEBVTT - Dawn's Confession 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:04.800 Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. You are tuned into 0:00:04.800 --> 0:00:07.640 the Vitamin D with DWNDE podcast and I am your host, 0:00:07.720 --> 0:00:10.280 Dawn Day, here to get you excited about your life 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:12.119 so that you can live life on purpose and for 0:00:12.160 --> 0:00:14.560 a purpose. And this is your first time tuning in 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:18.000 and welcome Vitamin D. It's upon of my name. My 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:20.239 name is Dawn, and you get Vitamin D for the sun. 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:22.639 So I'm here to shed light into your life. And 0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:26.560 I do this with inspirational insights and conversations with celebrities 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:29.159 and everyday people like you and me, Because if you 0:00:29.160 --> 0:00:31.000 want to be better and you want to do better, 0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:33.760 then you're going to have to be able to see better. 0:00:34.159 --> 0:00:36.760 So join me on this journey of living our best 0:00:36.800 --> 0:00:40.839 lives and understanding and realizing how you are your greatest das. 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:45.040 Get your right in, Mandy right with me and get 0:00:45.080 --> 0:00:53.800 excited about like a rolling stone. I'm rolling, I'm rolling, 0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:57.600 I'm rolling, I'm rolling. Yeah. I've been listened to this track. 0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:02.960 Um this artist named Jami's j M. S N. I 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:05.399 can't remember exactly where he's from, but he is by 0:01:05.440 --> 0:01:09.319 way of Detroit. I mean this brother guy swag anywhere 0:01:10.120 --> 0:01:12.320 I was just listening to him a few minutes ago 0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:17.160 and made me think about it. But hello, I'm coming 0:01:17.240 --> 0:01:22.559 to you live from my closet. Not necessarily where Vitamin 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:25.240 D started, but definitely let's go around now that I've 0:01:25.360 --> 0:01:29.640 been with I Heart Radio and on every platform for podcasts. 0:01:29.920 --> 0:01:32.560 The first episode Invited in Deeper Dawn Day was recorded 0:01:32.680 --> 0:01:34.840 right here in this closet. In fact, one of the 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:37.760 earliest episodes I had one with um Cayan Cally. You 0:01:37.800 --> 0:01:42.240 may have checked out that, um, but with Jay Anthony Brown, 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:45.040 Oh my god, you may if you if you've been 0:01:45.160 --> 0:01:49.120 listening for a bid, you may recall that I actually 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:51.600 talked about that episode with Anthony Brown. Because I was 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:54.800 sitting in my closet. I was sitting on the stool, 0:01:55.840 --> 0:01:59.360 I had my laptop propped up on like you know 0:01:59.440 --> 0:02:02.080 the TV stand, you know, like you like the TV 0:02:02.120 --> 0:02:07.360 dinner back in the day. Whatever. Um, And because I 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:10.919 was so nervous it probably because it was summer, and 0:02:11.360 --> 0:02:13.320 you know, I don't have centoy air in my place 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:18.600 and l a sweating bullets with these big old headphones in. UM. 0:02:18.639 --> 0:02:20.959 That's not the case right now, because Vitamin D is 0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:25.960 a studio e in Shermanose, California. But I had to 0:02:26.000 --> 0:02:29.440 come in for a special episode. Every Saturday, Jeremy, Jeremiah 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:31.880 and I have like a company meeting U when we 0:02:31.880 --> 0:02:34.720 go over what we're gonna talk about the podcast, things 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:36.639 that we need to do. We're changing. It is our 0:02:36.760 --> 0:02:39.320 way of connecting UM. Just the one on one And 0:02:39.400 --> 0:02:41.880 I told him, I said, you know, I got something 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:44.160 to get off my chests. We're gonna have to go 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:46.679 on the close and record this episode. So that's what 0:02:46.800 --> 0:02:50.200 we are, that's why we're here. Uh No, the real 0:02:50.240 --> 0:02:51.840 reason of why we're about to do what we're about 0:02:51.840 --> 0:02:58.360 to do. I got something to tell you. It's not 0:02:58.400 --> 0:03:00.480 a laughing matter. I think that's a nerves was laugh 0:03:01.040 --> 0:03:06.160 I just gave you. But vitamin D me dawing day. 0:03:06.200 --> 0:03:09.960 I guess wasn't always vitamin D. And I was reminded 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:13.480 of that this weekend. What I mean by that, I 0:03:13.520 --> 0:03:16.800 was on Facebook, and you know, like the memories and 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:19.160 stuff come up. While I was on Facebook and the 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:22.880 memories and I saw a childhood friend I had a 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:25.240 comment on the picture was from years ago. So just 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:27.079 like anybody else, I go ahead and I click on 0:03:27.120 --> 0:03:29.480 our profile just to see what's going on? And I 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:34.000 noticed that we weren't friends, So, not thinking anything of it, 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:37.280 I go ahead and request the friendship. Uh the next 0:03:37.360 --> 0:03:39.880 day or I don't even know. I hadn't even talked 0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:42.880 to another girlfriend yet, so I request the friendship. I 0:03:42.920 --> 0:03:46.000 got a message from her and she says, why do 0:03:46.080 --> 0:03:52.000 you want to be my friend? Why now? I said, oh, snaps. 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:54.640 I didn't reply yet. I already knew that this is 0:03:54.680 --> 0:03:59.120 going talking to my own girl, Shelly, I was talking Michelle. 0:03:59.240 --> 0:04:02.080 I said, oh, I said, look at look how the 0:04:02.120 --> 0:04:04.680 tables have time? She said, what you're talking about? I said, 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:07.120 this girl that I used to go to school with. 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:09.200 And when I said school, we um. I went to 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:11.320 the World Minor Story School. Mono Story School was called 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:14.880 the World Minor Story and I started going to school 0:04:14.920 --> 0:04:16.560 like two and a half, but basically since I was three. 0:04:16.640 --> 0:04:19.279 So I did the whole preschool kindergarten there. And this 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:22.039 young lady I'm about to tell you about. We went 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:25.560 from school from there all the way up to probably 0:04:25.560 --> 0:04:27.680 our freshman here. So our parents are friends, like you know, 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:31.119 like the whole chowam win wam Anyway, so I'm talking 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:35.320 to show and I said, girl, I said, look at 0:04:35.320 --> 0:04:37.600 the coincidence. I said, I think something is about to 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:39.440 stir up. She said, don what are you talking about? 0:04:39.440 --> 0:04:42.599 I said, this girl I used to bully. Yes, yes, yes, yes, 0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:45.080 I said that right, this girl I used to bully 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:48.120 and always tease her about not wanting to be her friend. 0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:52.320 I said, I and the recan requested her friendship on Facebook. 0:04:53.080 --> 0:04:54.880 And I said, already know where this is going because 0:04:54.920 --> 0:04:57.040 she asked me, why do you want to be my friend? 0:04:57.640 --> 0:05:00.440 And I remember distinctly. I don't know why I used 0:05:00.480 --> 0:05:04.760 to do it. I can't tell you why, but when 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:08.479 we were growing up for whatever reason, with her. And 0:05:08.520 --> 0:05:11.320 I'm not gonna say her name just for the whole uh, 0:05:11.360 --> 0:05:14.080 just because I can imagine how traumatizing this is, so 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:17.200 we can call her. Um, I donna call her. Actually 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:19.960 that's a basic name, Ashley, and no offense, Tenny Ashley. 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:22.279 That's listening. I'm not saying you're basic. I'm just giving 0:05:22.320 --> 0:05:25.279 it an arow name. But all I can see is 0:05:25.279 --> 0:05:26.680 this girl that wanted to be my friend, and I 0:05:26.760 --> 0:05:28.440 knew that I could tease her, and I would tease 0:05:28.440 --> 0:05:30.560 her so bad that she would cry. And she says, 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:32.520 why don't you like me, why don't you want to 0:05:32.560 --> 0:05:33.920 be my friend? Don I said, I don't want to 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:36.000 be your friend today. I'm not gonna be your friend anymore, 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:40.839 like shomously doing that to her. So I'm telling Shelly, 0:05:40.880 --> 0:05:43.520 I say, girl, I don't know what she's gonna say. 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:46.680 I had gotten the messages in so um, well, she said, 0:05:46.720 --> 0:05:49.080 I just want to know why. So I reply back. Now, 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:51.000 this is probably going on to like a three or 0:05:51.000 --> 0:05:53.360 four days stretch. I mean right now, I'm in my closet. 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:56.560 This's October second, so this probably started on like a Thursday. 0:05:56.600 --> 0:05:58.520 So what that was like the twenty ninth or something 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:01.040 or thirty I'm not so a couple of days ago. 0:06:01.040 --> 0:06:05.000 It's still like it's still fresh. So um, I'll wait. 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:07.799 The next morning, I look and see what she says, 0:06:08.200 --> 0:06:12.040 and she's like, um oh, she says why oh, And 0:06:12.120 --> 0:06:14.560 I reply back and I said, well, to be honest, 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:16.680 I noticed just everything I just said to you. I said, 0:06:16.680 --> 0:06:18.719 I noticed you had made a comment. I want on 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:20.880 your page to see what was going on. Once I 0:06:20.960 --> 0:06:23.600 realized that we weren't friends, I decided to frantis. I said, 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:28.480 nothing more, nothing less. Now I told you, I am 0:06:28.480 --> 0:06:31.360 working at home or not working on my vulnerability, which 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:33.600 is gonna enhance me living my best life. And what's 0:06:33.600 --> 0:06:36.520 gonna trickle down to this podcast? Right? Because I told 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:38.160 you with vitamin D has to get into bed, so 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:41.760 that includes me, right. So she says why now? And 0:06:41.800 --> 0:06:44.719 I told her, I said, listen, um, I gave her 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:46.520 every reason why I was on the page, and I said, 0:06:46.520 --> 0:06:48.000 because I'm gonna own up to my stuff. I said, 0:06:48.040 --> 0:06:50.080 if I've been unkind to you, I'd like to apologize 0:06:50.080 --> 0:06:52.719 for being unkind to you. And she said, oh, is 0:06:52.720 --> 0:06:54.159 that what you call it? Or I don't know what 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:56.400 she said. She was like, you were a bully. She said, 0:06:56.400 --> 0:06:58.040 you put me down in tears, and I just want 0:06:58.080 --> 0:07:01.920 to know why did you do it? And I'm reading 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:03.760 this message and I'm hurt and I have to own 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:06.080 up to it. I can't carry any of this lightly 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:07.919 because if you're getting to the point and you're breaking 0:07:07.920 --> 0:07:10.480 down somebody emotional, what do you make them feel? Now? 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:12.320 Mind you? I was telling Shelly all about this the 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:14.600 day before. I already knew everything was going to go down. 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:16.880 And I'm at a space right now where I want 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:19.840 to grow and I want to heal, and you'd be 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:22.560 surprised as to even doing work with somebody. How she's 0:07:22.560 --> 0:07:24.680 coming at me, how as she's coming at me saying, Dawn, 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:26.760 you did X, Y and Z. There's some healing or 0:07:26.800 --> 0:07:28.680 some work that John has to do, and even't as 0:07:28.720 --> 0:07:30.840 I go with my vulnerability, because what was it about 0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:34.440 you doing that? Did that? What? And I'm not saying 0:07:35.040 --> 0:07:37.120 I don't believe I'm that person now because anything, I 0:07:37.160 --> 0:07:39.440 always try to go to the ndog and what I 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:41.120 mean by that the person that may not have a voice, 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:42.920 because I know the voice that I have and I 0:07:42.960 --> 0:07:44.920 want to be an amplifier for that. I want to 0:07:44.920 --> 0:07:47.200 show you like it doesn't matter before whatever reason, but 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:50.800 asked me that was not the case. So I owned 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:52.160 up to what I said. Listen. I was like, you're 0:07:52.200 --> 0:07:54.760 absolutely right, and I was like it was not nice. 0:07:54.800 --> 0:07:57.200 I was like, I was an immateure kid, I even said. 0:07:57.200 --> 0:07:59.040 So I said, here is my number. Boo boo boo 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:01.000 boo boop. I would love for you to call me 0:08:01.040 --> 0:08:04.280 because I want to make sure that I articulate myself properly. Now, 0:08:04.320 --> 0:08:06.840 of course, I'm not sure if she's gonna be in 0:08:06.840 --> 0:08:09.040 the space of welcoming that because the first thing she 0:08:09.080 --> 0:08:11.160 did on a front request on Facebook was like, why 0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:12.680 do you want to be my friend? And I'm not 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:15.160 mad at it now. Shelley not thinking anything of it. 0:08:15.240 --> 0:08:16.960 She was like, girl, you should just block her whatever, 0:08:17.040 --> 0:08:19.960 And I said, no, I'm gonna create that space because 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:21.960 it's so easy to close the window, but you'd be 0:08:21.960 --> 0:08:23.880 surprised when you open it up. What kind of error 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:26.840 come in? Not only for the sake of aaron things out, 0:08:27.120 --> 0:08:30.120 but sometimes um bringing freshness in. It's a new thing. 0:08:30.440 --> 0:08:32.360 So I want to open this up because I got 0:08:32.400 --> 0:08:34.840 some healing to do. I told you I'm working on 0:08:34.960 --> 0:08:39.480 my dreams. I'm here to live my best life. How 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:41.760 you do anything is how you'll do everything. So who 0:08:41.760 --> 0:08:44.600 am I to close off this conversation with somebody who 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:47.720 says something that I inflicted and it's over twenty years 0:08:47.720 --> 0:08:49.360 And she even said that, She said, well, don't you 0:08:49.400 --> 0:08:51.559 think this apology should have been happening twenty years ago? 0:08:51.800 --> 0:08:54.800 And I'm like, absolutely right. For whatever reason, I didn't 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:56.679 think to hit her up to explain why I did 0:08:56.720 --> 0:08:58.600 what I did. But I promised the guy not put 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:01.240 it on everything. I have not forgotten about this girl 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:03.960 over the years. I would even tell my friends. I'm like, 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:07.840 you know, I really regret for teasing this girl named Ashley. 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:10.480 I would tease her about not being her friend because 0:09:10.679 --> 0:09:13.400 I wanted her to be strong. I wanted her to 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:16.800 be confident. But why was it that in this backwards 0:09:16.840 --> 0:09:19.640 mindset that I thought or pushing you down was raising 0:09:19.640 --> 0:09:24.880 you up? Where do we get that from? You know? 0:09:24.920 --> 0:09:28.400 And that's why I'm so such a component about speaking life. 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:30.599 And maybe I had to have this experience to do 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:34.960 a reflection to me because listen, half of the time, 0:09:34.960 --> 0:09:36.480 when things are clean, they have to be dirty. And 0:09:36.480 --> 0:09:38.200 that doesn't mean I'm speaking to spam. But what I'm 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:40.600 saying is that why I want to step forward in life, 0:09:40.600 --> 0:09:43.079 because I know there are probably other countless things that 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:47.800 I've done, but I want to show ownership. I don't 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:51.200 want my view to be blurry. I want her to 0:09:51.320 --> 0:09:53.720 express herself. And I think we all need to create 0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:57.400 spaces where we can express ourselves. We owe that to ourselves. Now, 0:09:57.480 --> 0:10:00.079 regardless of the fact that I was intentional, regard is 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:02.120 the fact that I was an immature kid, it's the 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:04.120 fact that she felt that way. Now, we will always 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:07.480 You've heard the thing you will may not remember what 0:10:07.600 --> 0:10:10.199 somebody did, but you will always remember how someone made 0:10:10.240 --> 0:10:14.160 you feel. And I didn't make her feel good. And 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:18.120 I challenge you, Have you offended somebody? Have you made 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:22.080 somebody not feel like they're best? Because it's time to 0:10:22.080 --> 0:10:24.640 to to to really take a listen and take a 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:28.000 look at what we're doing with our life. All you 0:10:28.040 --> 0:10:31.040 have to do is say it. And I think when 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:32.600 we get to the point where we own up to 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:36.920 ourselves and who we are, that's how we get the 0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:39.960 conversation going. That's how we get to our best life. 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:42.000 And more importantly, that's how we get to the healing. 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:45.600 I said, I'm in the healing business. I'm not trying 0:10:45.600 --> 0:10:48.280 to put patches on anything. And who knows what the 0:10:48.280 --> 0:10:50.120 healing I gotta receive from. What's she gonna tell me 0:10:50.160 --> 0:10:52.680 about myself? I feel like that's even some growth. But Dawn, 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:55.560 and I'm telling you, I'm here to grow. I got 0:10:55.600 --> 0:11:03.360 things to do and realizing that and the things that 0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:05.880 I have to do is to amplify somebody else. Remember 0:11:05.920 --> 0:11:08.680 I said, I'm in the business of making dreams come true, 0:11:10.120 --> 0:11:13.400 and I damn sure ain't gonna forget about mine. But 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:16.439 in my instance of my dreams. That's the support of 0:11:16.520 --> 0:11:19.600 everyone else. And if I've done something that has offended 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:22.160 somebody to the core, where you're looking at twenty years 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:24.480 plus later, we got some stuff to clean up, Dawn. 0:11:26.640 --> 0:11:29.600 We got something we gotta talk about, Tay Dawn. I 0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:32.000 think we might need to do something of work, because 0:11:32.040 --> 0:11:36.839 there's even something to be said about acknowledging who Dawn 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:40.400 as a child was, because that's a lot of who 0:11:40.480 --> 0:11:44.640 this woman is. And I think oftentimes that we get 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:47.120 to the whole notion of trying to ignore what was 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:50.720 and and not realizing that it has some contributing factor 0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:53.880 of what is. We can talk about how what was 0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:55.960 and how we're doing all the pollution in society, and 0:11:56.040 --> 0:11:59.240 what is right now is we're having climate change. It's 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:02.800 just the fact in no matter now it is behind us. 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:05.720 We don't have to concentrate because we're not going that way. 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:08.240 But best believe that those routes you know, that review 0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:11.280 mayor that keeps you knowing where you're going, you gotta 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:13.520 check it. Sometimes you gotta check the obstacles or the 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:15.480 objects in your way. So if this is an obstacle 0:12:15.840 --> 0:12:18.720 or an object where I gotta own some stuff with Dawn. Yeah, 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:20.800 and I also take it as a learning lesson because 0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:23.839 we always want to think so highly of ourselves and 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:25.760 how great we are. I'm not saying I'm a bad person, 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:29.440 but remember what I've said before in the podcast. What 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:31.920 allows a diamond to shine or the multitudes of cuts 0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:34.360 that have been placed within it. Now, whether that cut 0:12:34.520 --> 0:12:37.640 is of a pain that somebody else inflated, or maybe 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:39.800 it's something that I'm not too proud about, but I'm 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:41.920 gonna step up and I'm gonna come clear with it. 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:46.800 I'm gonna show up and own what it is that 0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:52.160 I have and create space, create space, create space for communication, 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:55.840 create space. Because you know, I've been a plus last 0:12:55.840 --> 0:13:00.680 girl my entire life and blessed and fortunate enough that 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:03.679 I wasn't teased like that. Now if I was, maybe 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:07.600 little remarks, but nothing where I was taken to tears, 0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:10.760 and my God, God has shown grace that I was 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:12.840 able to make because I don't know what that would 0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:14.960 have felt like. Who's to say if I would tease, 0:13:15.040 --> 0:13:17.040 if I would be the same Dawn talking to you 0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:20.520 right now, so bold and baudacious, with so much audacity 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:22.880 to go after her dreams, I can't say that that 0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:26.640 would have been me m hm, and a part of 0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:28.240 me I heard. In fact, I did cry about it 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:31.520 because I don't know if I robbed her from anything 0:13:31.559 --> 0:13:36.200 from her life. I don't know what I stopped and 0:13:36.240 --> 0:13:39.480 it doesn't feel good. It really makes me feel bad, 0:13:39.480 --> 0:13:42.600 but I can't change it. But I want to let 0:13:42.600 --> 0:13:46.760 her know that I'm sorry. I don't know why I 0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:49.960 did it, because you know, you think about time is 0:13:50.000 --> 0:13:57.720 so short, and just like talking about the roots in 0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:00.959 the extension, I don't know if I put any things 0:14:00.960 --> 0:14:04.360 on her fruit. I don't know if I stopped her 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:08.040 from doing anything because she had a situation of oh, 0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:10.560 I don't have any friends, but I'm gonna own it. 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:12.400 And I guess I had to get in here right 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:15.680 now because she just messaged me again and she's like, 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:18.920 She's like, I said some towards like you know, your 0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:22.160 name comes up quite often. She's like, oh wow, why 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:24.160 does my name come up? And I said, because I 0:14:24.200 --> 0:14:26.480 always tell people how I regret how I treated you, 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:28.960 And she was like, oh, so you do regret how 0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:32.240 you treated me? She was like good. She also said good, 0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:34.480 how the fact of me owning up to being a 0:14:34.520 --> 0:14:40.320 bully and not so nice to her, and UM, yeah, 0:14:40.360 --> 0:14:42.600 i'mna own it. And you know, I think that we 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:46.320 could do a lot better with owning our crop, because 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:48.600 that's what we know. We gotta clean up. Can you 0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:52.280 imagine walking around thinking and not even know that she's thinking? 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:55.800 At least if you do think, you know, you can 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:57.800 take a shower. And when we do this whole thing, 0:14:57.800 --> 0:14:59.840 when we're trying to ignore and trying to act like 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:02.400 everything's all peaches and cream, this is where we get 0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:05.320 into a situation where we start to think and no, 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:08.280 nobody you want to be around people that stink. And 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:10.720 stinking isn't just the smell listen or it's an energy 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:13.000 to survibe. It's that unclear to you know, it's the 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.200 thing that you can see it, you can feel it's 0:15:15.280 --> 0:15:17.720 it's it's that And I don't want that because I 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:21.400 want to welcome in space. So I, UM, I didn't 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:23.040 tell her, but you know what I would like to do. 0:15:23.080 --> 0:15:26.000 If I hadn't given this, I would have loved to 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:27.600 have her And I still I would love to have 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:31.280 her on the podcast. I wouldn't, UM, I don't think 0:15:31.320 --> 0:15:37.600 I would you reveal her name? Keep that to a minimum. UM, 0:15:37.640 --> 0:15:41.360 But I wanted on there because I guess what it 0:15:41.400 --> 0:15:43.920 says calling me out, but also calling somebody else out 0:15:43.960 --> 0:15:47.000 that may have done the same thing, like you know, 0:15:47.120 --> 0:15:49.120 like you know, sometimes you hear from bullying. But I 0:15:49.120 --> 0:15:52.600 don't know if I've ever I don't know if I've 0:15:52.600 --> 0:15:56.240 ever seen an episode on TV or heard something where 0:15:57.120 --> 0:15:59.200 somebody is coming back and as an adult to talk 0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:01.600 about the bullying. I'm sure that was, but I can't 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:04.760 recall right now, and I want to put it on 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:07.560 the forefront because I don't think people realize how it 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:11.120 truly can make someone feel, you know, and it's giving 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:13.800 a voice to somebody for over twenty years, probably felt 0:16:13.840 --> 0:16:16.200 voice was because I simply did not say I'm sorry. 0:16:16.520 --> 0:16:18.240 And here's the thing, I'm not wanting used to say 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:19.880 sorry because my mama was taught it's like, you're not 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:22.880 a sorry individual. You can apologize, but I'm not offended. 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:24.760 I don't feel any way about saying sorry in this 0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:28.600 situation because I was a dirty I did dirty, as 0:16:28.640 --> 0:16:33.760 Mamma would say, oh don that was dirty. Um well, yeah, 0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:35.600 it would be nice to have her on and just 0:16:35.640 --> 0:16:38.160 have an open conversation about how I made her feel, 0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:40.160 and you know, she keeps asking me. She's like, well, 0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:42.520 what made you do it? And I would like to 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:44.680 talk to her because you know, sometimes when you send 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:46.600 in a text like mind you this whole conversation what's 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:49.320 going down is on the Facebook messenger, on the Facebook messenger, 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:53.240 I'm over myself. It's on Facebook messenger. Uh, you know, 0:16:53.320 --> 0:16:56.480 so you know, times with texts, not your emotions and 0:16:56.560 --> 0:16:58.960 how you're saying things don't always come out or match 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:02.360 up the same way. So, um, I would really love 0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:05.280 to first have the conversation, but really to have her 0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:08.560 on the podcast and really calling me out because I 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:10.320 want to hear you. I wanna give that platform. But 0:17:10.359 --> 0:17:12.560 I have some friends to say, listen, you know, it 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:15.240 maybe not the right time because clearly there's you know, 0:17:15.359 --> 0:17:17.800 there's still and I say this loosely work because even 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:19.760 these years, I say, you know, a firm requrse on 0:17:19.760 --> 0:17:22.199 Facebook trigger what we happened when we had when we 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:24.440 were kids, and I'm not going to disregard. I'm not 0:17:24.440 --> 0:17:26.080 gonna take it lightly in our day, gonna show and 0:17:26.160 --> 0:17:28.240 gonna say oh you should be over right now. No 0:17:28.359 --> 0:17:31.520 that's not the case. Um, But if there was an 0:17:31.520 --> 0:17:33.520 opportunity and if I can create the space for her 0:17:33.560 --> 0:17:35.520 to come on this podcast and us to talk about it. 0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:37.320 I want to talk about it, and I want to 0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:40.159 really know how it made you feel and perhaps you know, 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:42.920 healing for both of us because who was this Dawn? 0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:46.600 Why did she do that like that? And look at 0:17:46.640 --> 0:17:50.080 this over twenties something years later? Oh my, have the 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:54.879 tables turned, Dawn and sending the friend with quass? Who 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:56.480 are you trying to send the front of us too? 0:17:58.080 --> 0:18:00.000 Are you aware of your past and how you treat 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:03.159 to people? In fact, are you holding onto something that 0:18:03.200 --> 0:18:06.399 how somebody made you feel? Has the space been created 0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:08.760 for the conversation to take place? More importantly, do you 0:18:08.800 --> 0:18:11.200 realize that your voice, of that person's voice is worthy 0:18:11.240 --> 0:18:15.399 to be heard? And last, but not least, are you 0:18:15.440 --> 0:18:20.280 ready to receive it? Catch it? Well? That said, I 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:23.879 just had to come in the closet, literally, come in 0:18:23.880 --> 0:18:25.960 the closet. I'm about to step by the closet with 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:31.520 this story. Um and again Ashley as a pseudonym, I'm sorry, 0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:35.119 Dawn Day was a bully and I'm sorry. I'm sorry 0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:37.320 for what I did. I'm sorry for being the immateure kid. 0:18:37.400 --> 0:18:41.000 I'm sorry for whatever I handled in your life, I'm sorry, 0:18:41.160 --> 0:18:43.840 and if I could take it back, I would. I 0:18:43.920 --> 0:18:48.840 would because you deserve more, and every person out there 0:18:49.000 --> 0:18:52.600 you deserve more. You take up space, You own your space. 0:18:52.640 --> 0:18:55.160 Nobody can tell you and shouldn't put you down about 0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:57.600 taking up your space on your space in this world. 0:18:57.600 --> 0:18:59.840 And for those who are owning the space, be my 0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:02.400 full of how you take up your space. Just because 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:04.119 you take your space bowl, it does not mean that 0:19:04.160 --> 0:19:08.480 you need to outshine or outcast other people. I eat, bully, 0:19:08.680 --> 0:19:10.520 I eat, put them down, I eat, try to step 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:12.360 on them, I eat, pushed them down thinking they're gonna 0:19:12.400 --> 0:19:16.680 bounce up that I ain't there. But yeah, that these 0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:23.280 are my confessions. UM. I know we'll expect this, but 0:19:23.440 --> 0:19:26.120 that's what that was today. I want to encourage you, though, 0:19:26.760 --> 0:19:30.199 if you would like to be a guest, or you 0:19:30.240 --> 0:19:33.199 would like to submit a letter to email fight Them 0:19:33.200 --> 0:19:36.560 and d at dawn day Speaks dot com. Uh, you 0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:41.280 know I solicited letters for advice on relationships, love anything. Heck, 0:19:41.320 --> 0:19:43.119 you might even want to check me about this or 0:19:43.119 --> 0:19:45.880 maybe have something else you want to question of from 0:19:46.000 --> 0:19:47.879 you being a bully or somebody that bullied you. I 0:19:47.920 --> 0:19:50.720