1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:14,760 Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to work in Progress. Hello 2 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:17,919 Speaker 1: whip smarties. Today I am joined by a woman that 3 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,680 Speaker 1: I have been an admirer of for a long time 4 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: as a fan of her music and as a person 5 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 1: who really respects the way she has risen above a 6 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 1: lot in her life, and after today's conversation, I consider 7 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:35,879 Speaker 1: her a new friend. Today we're joined by Morgan Wade. 8 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: She is an incredible musician who has really found herself 9 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,600 Speaker 1: in the center of so many exciting things, touring with 10 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:47,400 Speaker 1: Joan Jet and Alanis Morrissett. Her new album Obsessed is 11 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:51,040 Speaker 1: out and it's beautiful and powerful, and it's a record 12 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 1: that she wrote all on her own, her third full 13 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 1: length album. In fact, it's the follow up to her 14 00:00:56,720 --> 00:01:01,760 Speaker 1: previous album, Psychopath. It's project that Morgan says really gets 15 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 1: to the essence of who she is as a musician, 16 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:07,400 Speaker 1: a storyteller, and a human. As a listener, I think 17 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:11,040 Speaker 1: it's perhaps the most raw and vulnerable I've ever heard her, 18 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:15,360 Speaker 1: and I just absolutely think she is cementing her status 19 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:19,120 Speaker 1: as one of country music's most distinctive talents, and she 20 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:22,399 Speaker 1: happens to also be a really great human. She has 21 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 1: talked so openly with her fans about her journey into sobriety. 22 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: She just celebrated seven years sober, about her choice to 23 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 1: have a preventive double mistectomy to keep herself safe from 24 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 1: a cancer risk, and really about what it's like to 25 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: suddenly be thrust into the world of fame and how 26 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,240 Speaker 1: hard it can be to be one person against the internet. 27 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 1: I am so grateful for her candor, for her willingness 28 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:51,520 Speaker 1: to bring her whole self to conversation, and for the 29 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 1: example she says. I'm pretty excited today that I get 30 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,160 Speaker 1: to tell her that she said an example even for me. 31 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 1: So with further ado, let's get to it with the 32 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 1: wonderful Morgan Wade. Well, Hi, it's so nice to finally 33 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:17,760 Speaker 1: meet you. How are you doing. 34 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:21,359 Speaker 2: I'm doing good. How about you? 35 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:22,399 Speaker 3: I'm all right. 36 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 1: I've been traveling a lot for work, and I just like, oh, 37 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 1: the feeling I get when I think about you having 38 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,640 Speaker 1: to tour and you manage your whole life in the 39 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:34,520 Speaker 1: midst of it, Like. 40 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,440 Speaker 4: Hats off to you. I don't know if I could 41 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 4: do it. 42 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,239 Speaker 2: It's one of those things and it's like you get 43 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 2: kind of used to it, but at the same time 44 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 2: you don't. But it's like when I'm at home, I'm 45 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:46,400 Speaker 2: good for like a week, and then I'm like, this 46 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 2: feels strange to be sleeping in the same bed. 47 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:54,040 Speaker 1: Totally totally, It's that weird thing, right, I think about that. 48 00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:58,679 Speaker 1: I'm constantly like, God, I just wish I could be home. 49 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 1: I wish I could have a routine, and then I 50 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,200 Speaker 1: get home and I get antsy. 51 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:07,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that anybody that's like creative, that you know, 52 00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 2: has to travel, whether it's filled yeah, you know, music 53 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,919 Speaker 2: or any of that. I don't do too well at 54 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:14,360 Speaker 2: home too. 55 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 4: Yeah. 56 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:18,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think when you're a creative, sitting still can 57 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:22,080 Speaker 1: be tricky. I've started to even realize that if I, like, 58 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 1: if I have a little fidget tool or something, I 59 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:29,239 Speaker 1: can sit for longer, But just sitting is hard. 60 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,920 Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I totally get it. If I have like 61 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 2: a mating or something and it's just on the phone, 62 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:39,600 Speaker 2: I want laps. I'm on this you know, tour right now. 63 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 2: And so there's like these huge parking lots, and so 64 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 2: I will be walking circles all day in the security 65 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,320 Speaker 2: guards and just stare at. 66 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,320 Speaker 4: Me like like, what are you doing. 67 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 2: You weirdo? What are you doing. Yeah, I don't like sense. 68 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 1: Still yeah, well I feel you there. It's interesting like 69 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 1: for me figuring those things out about myself as an 70 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: adult makes certain things about my childhood and like my 71 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: attention span or whatever. Track a little more for me. 72 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 1: When you kind of sit in this amazing place, you know, 73 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 1: you're out on a tour, You're making music, you love, 74 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,479 Speaker 1: people are obsessed with it. 75 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 2: You know. 76 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:22,800 Speaker 1: There's the exciting things I think that come with that, 77 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 1: and also the hard things that come with notoriety growing. 78 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:31,840 Speaker 4: I feel for you, girl, But. 79 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 1: When you sort of sit here and look at your life, 80 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,800 Speaker 1: like if you look back at your childhood, do you 81 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:40,520 Speaker 1: feel like you see a through line like were you 82 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:45,039 Speaker 1: always really artistic? Were you always wanting, you know, to 83 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,600 Speaker 1: be up and moving? Did you always know you wanted 84 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,560 Speaker 1: to make music or does your life now look completely 85 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,680 Speaker 1: different than you thought it would when you were a 86 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 1: little kid, like eight or nine years old. 87 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 2: You know, I think I obviously knew that I wanted 88 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 2: to to be involved in music. I don't think I 89 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:07,360 Speaker 2: knew what capacity that was gonna be. You know, I 90 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:11,200 Speaker 2: always like when writing songs and pull them stories like 91 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:17,040 Speaker 2: that when I was like little, but I didn't think 92 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,159 Speaker 2: I could sing. I thought my voice was weird, so 93 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 2: I didn't sing for anybody. I was like very secretive 94 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:28,080 Speaker 2: about it. But I enjoyed writing songs and you know, 95 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 2: playing my guitar in my room by myself, and I 96 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:34,279 Speaker 2: just did it because I loved that. It wasn't like 97 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,479 Speaker 2: I was trying to do that for anybody else. And 98 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 2: then eventually, once I got into college, I started drinking, 99 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:47,719 Speaker 2: and then that liquid courage gave me that ability to 100 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,279 Speaker 2: be like playing for my you know, my friends and 101 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,479 Speaker 2: stuff at the dorm. And you know, it evolved. But 102 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 2: I don't think that I thought it would be this, 103 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 2: you know, But I just know I had a lot 104 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 2: of trouble sleeping as a kid, and my mom took 105 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 2: me to the doctor. It was like one of those 106 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 2: things and it was a severe OCD and like it 107 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:13,160 Speaker 2: was a whole routine to go to bed, and of 108 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,840 Speaker 2: course my parents were never getting any sleep because I 109 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 2: was like, oh, and so the doctor was telling me 110 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 2: ways to calm down, and he was like, you need 111 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 2: to think about something that you really want to do, 112 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 2: something you love that makes you happy. So I would 113 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:33,240 Speaker 2: I would fall asleep every night picturing myself on a 114 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 2: stage and playing, and that's what I thought about every night. 115 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,920 Speaker 2: And now I look at it, I'm like, okay, that 116 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 2: was kind of manifesting. Uh there a little bit, but 117 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 2: that's what I would fall asleep thinking about every night. 118 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 2: But I didn't grow up really in an area or 119 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 2: around anybody that did anything like that, so I didn't 120 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 2: think that that was, you know, possibility. And of course, 121 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,279 Speaker 2: you know, it wasn't like I could get on the 122 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 2: Internet and you know videos on you know, how to 123 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 2: how to do that. It wasn't like things are now, 124 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 2: you know, But it was something I knew in my 125 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 2: head I wanted to do, but I didn't have that call. 126 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, so when do you think that changed? Like if 127 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 1: you knew you wanted to be a musician and you 128 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,600 Speaker 1: finally got comfortable starting to share music with people in college, 129 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 1: was was that when you felt like you were able 130 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 1: to say, oh, I really want to do this as 131 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:33,760 Speaker 1: my career. 132 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure. Of course. You know. It was freshman 133 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:43,200 Speaker 2: year of college and my mom I remember her being 134 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 2: when I came home and was like, Hey, I'm going 135 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 2: to go play this little show. She was like excuse me, 136 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 2: Like what are you? What are you talking about because 137 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 2: she was so like me Van, and I was like, yeah, 138 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 2: I'm going to go She was, what are you No, 139 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 2: I'm going to go sing? And she was very confused 140 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 2: by that, and so which I don't blame then, because 141 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,560 Speaker 2: this came out of nowhere. And so I was like, yeah, 142 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:10,200 Speaker 2: I don't really want to stay in school anymore, don't 143 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 2: want to finish college. And of course that was like, yeah, 144 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,119 Speaker 2: I know you need to What are you talking about? 145 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 2: Just came out of nowhere, And of course I looked 146 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,119 Speaker 2: back and I totally get it. At the time, I thought, 147 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 2: you know, my parents were crazy and everybody was being unfair. 148 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:27,880 Speaker 2: And I ended up getting a bachelor's degree and I 149 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 2: did continue for four years, but every weekend I was out, 150 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 2: like playing shows. I pretended to be my own booking agent. 151 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 2: I have a fake email. I was like, I formed 152 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:45,400 Speaker 2: a band on Craigslist. He's not really safe. Me and 153 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:51,080 Speaker 2: two of my friends from class. There was an ad 154 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,319 Speaker 2: that were looking for a singer, and I rode over 155 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,400 Speaker 2: to a sketchy part of town and I went in 156 00:08:56,400 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 2: this guy's basement. And fortunately, this isn't like a you know, 157 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 2: crime podcast, and you're not like talking to my mom 158 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,960 Speaker 2: and you know, I'm still here, but yeah, and it 159 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 2: just all kind of went from there. I like looked 160 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,800 Speaker 2: back and it was like step by step for me, 161 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:19,280 Speaker 2: but you know you eventually it just started to happen 162 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:20,960 Speaker 2: and everything kind of fell into place. 163 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:22,680 Speaker 4: That's so cool. 164 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:27,000 Speaker 1: And so what was sort of the journey like once 165 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 1: you started a band and really started to perform, Like 166 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:33,960 Speaker 1: how did it happen? 167 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 2: You know, like I said, you know, the sort of 168 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,319 Speaker 2: craiglist thing, and then it just kind of became taking 169 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 2: any kind of opportunity that I could get. So you know, 170 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,880 Speaker 2: sometimes I look back and you know, you have like 171 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:52,559 Speaker 2: moments where you're like, you know, you feel like kind 172 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,360 Speaker 2: of drained and like what is the point. You know, 173 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 2: I had a tough year last year. Everything it was 174 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:02,959 Speaker 2: like the whole way down kind of being known. And 175 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 2: then I was like and do I don't want to 176 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 2: do this anymore? Because I like look back at the beginning, 177 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 2: I was like I was so hungry for it. I 178 00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:12,560 Speaker 2: was like excited, Like if three people showed up and 179 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 2: were listening to me, I was like, I'm going to 180 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:17,240 Speaker 2: make those three people like me. And I had to 181 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,480 Speaker 2: kind of remember how that was but I I did. 182 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 2: I just took every opportunity I could get. And I 183 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:29,920 Speaker 2: worked a job at a gym and I had to 184 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:33,480 Speaker 2: be up at three point thirty every morning, yeah, five 185 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 2: days a week, and then had like once a month 186 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 2: on a Saturday, and I would do that and I 187 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,800 Speaker 2: would sit in there and I would just send out 188 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,559 Speaker 2: email after email after email, trying to get any gig 189 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:47,600 Speaker 2: I can get. And so I just I did my 190 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:51,679 Speaker 2: own merch. I did like everything I booked it. I 191 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:55,600 Speaker 2: tried to build the website, like, I just put everything 192 00:10:55,640 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 2: I had into it, and things just started started to 193 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:02,080 Speaker 2: kind of fall into place. And I mean there were 194 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:06,080 Speaker 2: times that just absolutely sucked. Yeah, and then it was like, 195 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,800 Speaker 2: you know, to me, it was just not giving up. 196 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,360 Speaker 2: It was just like pushing and doing whatever I could 197 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 2: and honestly letting my songs kind of just speak to themselves. 198 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,079 Speaker 2: They just kept writing. At the end of the day. 199 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 2: It was like, no matter what, I was writing music 200 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:24,920 Speaker 2: and I was having fun at that point. But it 201 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 2: ended up I met a guy in Sava Vaden at 202 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:34,120 Speaker 2: a music festival and he was just getting into producing 203 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 2: and he plays for Jason Isbel and that was a 204 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 2: huge fan and it ended up I had been playing 205 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:44,240 Speaker 2: this song out like a wilder days, and people were 206 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:47,880 Speaker 2: really like catching on to that song, they really liked it, 207 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:49,840 Speaker 2: and that was the first song I ended up catching 208 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,959 Speaker 2: him when he sat down to do a rite, and 209 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:55,320 Speaker 2: then of course that ended up, you know, three years later, 210 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,160 Speaker 2: two years later being a radio single, and it kind 211 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:02,520 Speaker 2: of trades fired and then just everything went. It feels 212 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 2: like it went quickly, and then at the side, stuff 213 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:08,679 Speaker 2: like it kind of voice. Yeah. 214 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:10,840 Speaker 1: Well, it's like they always say, it takes a decade 215 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 1: to become an overnight success, right, right, And it's so 216 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 1: much invisible work, like just so many things that people 217 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 1: don't see. And you know, the length of the road 218 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,559 Speaker 1: you had to walk to get to this place where 219 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:28,440 Speaker 1: you're sitting on a tour of bus, you know, out 220 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 1: going around the country. 221 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:30,760 Speaker 4: It's wild. 222 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,319 Speaker 1: How has the adjustment of it been for you? And 223 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:39,360 Speaker 1: I'm I'm curious because you know, one of the things 224 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 1: that I appreciate in people, and I think one of 225 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:45,840 Speaker 1: the reasons I admire you is because you've stood very 226 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: vulnerably and honestly about your human experience. Like you've talked 227 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:53,760 Speaker 1: about sobriety, you've talked about you know learning how to 228 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 1: cope with this sort of attention, all all of these big, 229 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,520 Speaker 1: you know, journeys in state that you take. And I 230 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 1: feel for you because I also know like when you 231 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 1: go from the like in your line of work, when 232 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 1: you go from being reported on by CMT to being 233 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:15,640 Speaker 1: reported on by TMZ, even if it's all bullsh it's 234 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:21,240 Speaker 1: hard and it's stressful, and like, it's hard to accept 235 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:26,160 Speaker 1: that people would rather embellish your life to the point 236 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,959 Speaker 1: of turning you into someone you're not in the press 237 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:34,760 Speaker 1: for clicks and cash, then care about what's true for 238 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:39,000 Speaker 1: you and your life and respect your human identity as 239 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:43,480 Speaker 1: a fragile, feeling person in the world. And like, I 240 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,960 Speaker 1: don't know, I've been through this more than once in 241 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,360 Speaker 1: the twenty years I've been on TV, and I've certainly 242 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:54,360 Speaker 1: seen you go through it, and I'm just like, you know, 243 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,080 Speaker 1: you still have to get out and get on stage 244 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,839 Speaker 1: on tour every night and make people happy, Like how 245 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,480 Speaker 1: how do you feel you're out How to make space 246 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:03,880 Speaker 1: for your work and your life. 247 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,880 Speaker 4: When sometimes they get complicated like that. 248 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 2: Uh yeah, well I would sell Like last year when everything, 249 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:17,360 Speaker 2: you know, kind of the media was popping off. I 250 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,960 Speaker 2: definitely didn't want to go play. I had a show 251 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:22,920 Speaker 2: like a few days later, and I was like, I 252 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 2: don't I really don't want to go. I don't want 253 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:27,760 Speaker 2: to leave my house. I don't want to do anything 254 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,040 Speaker 2: right now because it's just so bizarre. The only time 255 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:34,000 Speaker 2: I had been in you know, stuff like that again 256 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:38,120 Speaker 2: was pertaining to my music. It wasn't pertaining to you know, 257 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:43,520 Speaker 2: gossip calling as any of that stuff. So I just 258 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,720 Speaker 2: it was it was such a weird, a weird thing, 259 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,840 Speaker 2: but I went, and you know, of course it was. 260 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 2: It was different because the people that were there listening 261 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:55,680 Speaker 2: to me, we were fans, and they just honestly did 262 00:14:55,720 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 2: not care. They were more so, hey are you good? Yeah? Up? 263 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,440 Speaker 2: You do the meet and greets, and they're not in 264 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,360 Speaker 2: there asking me questions. They're in there like how are 265 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,440 Speaker 2: you doing, how your sobariety like kind of checking in. 266 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,280 Speaker 2: So it was like good for me, but I was 267 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:16,640 Speaker 2: also I can't let other people win. Yeah, it was 268 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:20,160 Speaker 2: a it's been a really like difficult experience, but now 269 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 2: I'm just like numb to it. And I had to 270 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 2: kind of sit back and laugh and like, you guys 271 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:29,880 Speaker 2: are kind of grasping at straws at this point. But 272 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:35,360 Speaker 2: it was definitely, uh a weird, really weird time because 273 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,040 Speaker 2: it's like you go to bed and then you wake 274 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 2: up and it's all the stuff like everywhere. And but 275 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:44,080 Speaker 2: it's been good for me too, just in the sense of, uh, 276 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:47,200 Speaker 2: I think it's been. It's been. I have a tracker 277 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,560 Speaker 2: on it because I was, like, you know, super addicted 278 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:54,080 Speaker 2: to just getting on the internet, just scrolling, whether it 279 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:58,240 Speaker 2: was looking and trying to read and just feeling bad 280 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,560 Speaker 2: about myself and then being like, well, this isn't even 281 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,800 Speaker 2: prove but I'm sitting here feeling bad about it. So 282 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:06,960 Speaker 2: I've been on that seventy one days. I took everything 283 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,520 Speaker 2: on my phone. I'll let my team run it, and 284 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:12,480 Speaker 2: I've gotten an ore done and they blast seventy one 285 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,200 Speaker 2: days and you know anything, and I don't miss it. 286 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:18,720 Speaker 2: I don't know. I might log back into Instagram one day, 287 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:22,320 Speaker 2: but as of now, like, I'm really content about it. 288 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,400 Speaker 2: You were wasted a lot of time, just even if 289 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 2: it was just videos and dogs that I would watch, Yeah, 290 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 2: so much. Nine. 291 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:34,160 Speaker 4: Yeah. Well, it's it's so easy to escape into those spaces. 292 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,960 Speaker 4: And I don't know why. 293 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,120 Speaker 1: Maybe it's because to be an artist, you have to 294 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:44,360 Speaker 1: be sensitive, you know. I don't know why so many 295 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:47,080 Speaker 1: of us are so much more sensitive to the negativity 296 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:50,120 Speaker 1: than whatever the positivity is, but I know, at least 297 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 1: for me, like realizing that my. 298 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 4: Justice complex, as. 299 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:59,880 Speaker 1: My therapist likes to call it, like I am obs 300 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:05,119 Speaker 1: obsessed with justice and truth and believe, you know, we 301 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:08,040 Speaker 1: should be good to people and so like that thing 302 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,480 Speaker 1: gets really fired up in me when I know that 303 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 1: things are being said about my life that are just 304 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:16,440 Speaker 1: not true, and like to your point, when they're grasping 305 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 1: at straws. Like when I started to look at some 306 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:24,040 Speaker 1: of it for me last year, I was like, what 307 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:28,440 Speaker 1: are we talking about? Like how I can't sneak into 308 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:32,160 Speaker 1: an event that's being photographed with anybody, let alone when 309 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,520 Speaker 1: I show up with a group of nine friends. 310 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,520 Speaker 3: Who's sneaking around? 311 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:41,639 Speaker 1: Or like, you know, it's just everything was so surreal, 312 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,800 Speaker 1: including like you know, I had storylines about like oh, 313 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,919 Speaker 1: you know, the chemistry. Upon meeting I was like, did 314 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,679 Speaker 1: I just meet my friend of five years at this event? 315 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,400 Speaker 3: Like what are we talking about? 316 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:56,119 Speaker 1: It was all just so surreal for me, and I 317 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:59,879 Speaker 1: guess what I'm What I find so interesting is like 318 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,800 Speaker 1: we all go, well, why are we doing this? 319 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,760 Speaker 4: Like why am I even paying it any mind? 320 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:10,119 Speaker 1: Yet we all feel so wounded by by it, and 321 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:15,520 Speaker 1: it's like, I don't know, it's like the golden handcuffs, right, 322 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:19,240 Speaker 1: Like you're online so you can do the work you love, 323 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:23,600 Speaker 1: but the online life hurts your ability to like even 324 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:27,560 Speaker 1: exist as a person, let alone to do your job, right. 325 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:32,360 Speaker 2: I mean, I uh, I just one day like turn 326 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,800 Speaker 2: everything off and I was just sitting there and I 327 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:39,159 Speaker 2: was like, see, it doesn't really exist. It does not 328 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,959 Speaker 2: really exist. It's just this like place. It's just like 329 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 2: logging on to this you know, video game or so 330 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:49,080 Speaker 2: those you can cut it off. It really will not 331 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:52,960 Speaker 2: affect you unless you unless you let it, which is 332 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 2: so easy to say. And I have these moments where 333 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,960 Speaker 2: I'm like yes, and then you know, and I look back. 334 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 2: A lot of it, I think is is like deep 335 00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:04,320 Speaker 2: rooted childhood stuff where I wanted to be you know 336 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 2: that you want to be loved so bad and you 337 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,959 Speaker 2: I would have done anything just to I didn't want 338 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,919 Speaker 2: anybody to be mad at me. I was like always 339 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,720 Speaker 2: thinking someone was mad at me, and so it was 340 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:17,359 Speaker 2: a lot of that. So then to to all of 341 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,440 Speaker 2: a sudden be thrust into that and to think, well, 342 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:24,720 Speaker 2: all these people hate me for you know, I don't 343 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:27,520 Speaker 2: understand why. I was like, I don't know me. Like 344 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,399 Speaker 2: if you met me and half of them, like you 345 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,240 Speaker 2: met me on the street, you wouldn't say that to me. 346 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:35,040 Speaker 2: You would, you would understand that I'm actually, you know, 347 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:41,119 Speaker 2: a nice person despite the resting bitch face, Like but 348 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:48,359 Speaker 2: it's yeah, it's uh. I will say. Last year, seeing 349 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:52,480 Speaker 2: like everything to that you were going through, uh, was 350 00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:56,560 Speaker 2: a little helpful to me to not not that I'm 351 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,920 Speaker 2: glad you went through that, but it was like, Okay, 352 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:04,720 Speaker 2: there's other people going through yeah, similar stub and they're 353 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,160 Speaker 2: still alive and they're doing good. 354 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, and now a word from our sponsors that I 355 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,720 Speaker 1: really enjoy and I think you will too. 356 00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:18,639 Speaker 2: Well. 357 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,760 Speaker 1: And I think what was so interesting for me to 358 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:27,399 Speaker 1: start to realize was, you know, like I came of 359 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:31,160 Speaker 1: age essentially in public on an early aughts teen drama. 360 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:36,680 Speaker 1: Like people die for the any version of anybody's life 361 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,800 Speaker 1: that they can make feel like it's the teen drama 362 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,040 Speaker 1: offline or off screen they. 363 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:42,360 Speaker 4: Love because it's profitable. 364 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:46,600 Speaker 1: And I thought I understood that dynamic and like you know, 365 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:52,200 Speaker 1: for like even for your friendship with Kyle or relationship 366 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,520 Speaker 1: or whatever however you want to define it. I realized, 367 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,720 Speaker 1: I don't want to put words in your mouth, but like, 368 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,919 Speaker 1: I feel like her world tends to operate in that 369 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,200 Speaker 1: space too, like they want the fodder and they forget 370 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:09,439 Speaker 1: that it's about people. And I don't know, like I 371 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,280 Speaker 1: thought I understood how toxic all that was until I 372 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:19,400 Speaker 1: saw those worlds mobilize against all women and I was like, oh, 373 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:23,480 Speaker 1: I thought the misogyny was breathtaking before. In the world 374 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:28,520 Speaker 1: of tabloids, it's it's like compounded to the nth degree 375 00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:31,439 Speaker 1: when you just have women to talk about, like you 376 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:33,080 Speaker 1: guys are garbage people. 377 00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:39,640 Speaker 2: Oh it was. I mean, yeah, the things the headlines 378 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:42,120 Speaker 2: that I was like reading and I was like, why 379 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:46,560 Speaker 2: is it okay for you to say that it was? 380 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:49,720 Speaker 2: I don't know, it was. It was really And then 381 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:51,679 Speaker 2: you know there will be people on the internet being like, 382 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:56,560 Speaker 2: well they're paying or they're calling, Oh yeah, they're asking people. 383 00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:00,520 Speaker 2: WAS like, shut up, Like you have absolutely have no 384 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,840 Speaker 2: idea what you're talking about right now. I'm like, I know, 385 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:06,640 Speaker 2: I have never called the paparazzi. I don'ly I would 386 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,240 Speaker 2: not know how to do that. 387 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:12,880 Speaker 1: I think people also don't understand it's it's immensely painful 388 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:16,719 Speaker 1: to be treated like a commodity rather than a person. 389 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:20,479 Speaker 1: And it's also really scary to get stalked, like and 390 00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,800 Speaker 1: that's what that is. Like for some reason, we have 391 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:26,000 Speaker 1: this word, you know, we call them paparazzi. But like 392 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:28,840 Speaker 1: when you get stoked, when you when you wind up 393 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,760 Speaker 1: in like car chases trying to get away from people, 394 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:35,840 Speaker 1: when you when people follow you into like private spaces, 395 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,840 Speaker 1: it's actually quite scary. And a lot of people are like, oh, 396 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:44,600 Speaker 1: you know, well, well privilege this famous that, and you're like, okay, 397 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,159 Speaker 1: you come do it for a day and see how 398 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:46,680 Speaker 1: you like it. 399 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:51,360 Speaker 2: I mean, I was followed from West Hollywood to Pasadena 400 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,480 Speaker 2: one day. The dude followed me all the way there 401 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 2: to go to the studio. Yeah, I'm like, dude, you 402 00:22:58,119 --> 00:22:58,920 Speaker 2: follow me from home? 403 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:00,679 Speaker 4: Yeah? 404 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,520 Speaker 3: Wait, do you record in Pasadena? 405 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,600 Speaker 2: I did. I did a couple of things for the 406 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,080 Speaker 2: new record out there, So. 407 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,960 Speaker 1: Okay, I did. I did junior high in high school 408 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,760 Speaker 1: in Pasadena. So this is full sidetrack. 409 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,560 Speaker 3: There's my ADHD brand and like squirrel. 410 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I you know, I go back and forth 411 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,119 Speaker 2: between like Nashville and then I can get some stuff 412 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,239 Speaker 2: done in LA. So we were on the road and 413 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:27,880 Speaker 2: we happened to AB to get some stuff out there. 414 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:31,480 Speaker 2: But I don't remember the first time because there's there's 415 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,879 Speaker 2: a guy that hangs out at Lax Airport. 416 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,360 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and the term I don't. 417 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,200 Speaker 2: Know if you've seen that dude, but he just hangs 418 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:39,960 Speaker 2: out there. 419 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:42,320 Speaker 3: And video camera guy. 420 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:47,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, video camera yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forget his name. 421 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,439 Speaker 2: We ended up when day I was like, do you 422 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,160 Speaker 2: live here? Man? I was like what what's what's your name? 423 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,840 Speaker 2: Was like good God, because the first time I was 424 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:58,159 Speaker 2: there and I landed and I was coming through there 425 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:01,800 Speaker 2: and people like they and I was like at all 426 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:04,160 Speaker 2: in my Sweatland's the day I was like, I did 427 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,919 Speaker 2: not call anybody. I've been on a plane for like 428 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 2: six hours. 429 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,040 Speaker 4: What I think people in the. 430 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:15,640 Speaker 1: Out in the you know world don't understand is we're 431 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:19,639 Speaker 1: not the ones calling. It's video camera guy pays somebody 432 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:24,040 Speaker 1: who's making minimum wage at the airline to call and say, 433 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,560 Speaker 1: these are the people on our flight today, because look 434 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,320 Speaker 1: like we can stay in hotels under aliases and all 435 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 1: you cannot fly under an alias that is a federal offense, 436 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,000 Speaker 1: so like they know when you're on a plane, and 437 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:39,480 Speaker 1: you know, people are making money however they're making it. 438 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,800 Speaker 1: But I do think I just really appreciate that you've 439 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:47,960 Speaker 1: been open about how hard it is to be picked 440 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,400 Speaker 1: apart like that and to be to be turned into 441 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:55,080 Speaker 1: like a caricature of yourself, like what was really hard 442 00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:59,560 Speaker 1: for me last year? And you know, I don't know 443 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,960 Speaker 1: obviously the details of your circumstance, but I do know that, 444 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:06,720 Speaker 1: like it's a really long road to end something or 445 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,680 Speaker 1: leave something with someone that you have loved and tried 446 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:14,359 Speaker 1: to make things work with. And like, man, for me, 447 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:20,320 Speaker 1: just having like the saddest, hardest time be turned into 448 00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:25,240 Speaker 1: something like salacious, you know, to feel like what a 449 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,840 Speaker 1: precious gift that like a group of women saved my 450 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,359 Speaker 1: life at my lowest when I was like, if I 451 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,720 Speaker 1: do this for one more day, I'm just going to die. 452 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,240 Speaker 1: And I realized how many other people were feeling that way. 453 00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 1: We're feeling so tortured and sad in their homes and 454 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:47,159 Speaker 1: like the like lifeblood of having support and the gift 455 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:51,000 Speaker 1: of watching other people be courageous, because courage can be contagious, 456 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,120 Speaker 1: like those things I want to talk about is so sacred, 457 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:57,400 Speaker 1: and then they get turned into like icky, sticky gross 458 00:25:58,520 --> 00:25:59,760 Speaker 1: out in the world. 459 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,080 Speaker 4: And I'm like, that's just so sad, and like why 460 00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:02,800 Speaker 4: are we like this? 461 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,320 Speaker 3: And why are we like this to women? Why are 462 00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:05,960 Speaker 3: we like this? 463 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:07,240 Speaker 4: Man? 464 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:12,680 Speaker 2: I remember when for this k oh, yeah, all the cave, Middleton, 465 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,960 Speaker 2: all that was. Everybody was like where's she? And I'm like, 466 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,080 Speaker 2: stop it? And then she feels I had cancer. I'm like, 467 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:24,040 Speaker 2: you see how sick that was has cancer? And we're 468 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,800 Speaker 2: so where is she at? What is she doing? 469 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:27,720 Speaker 3: Yeah? 470 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,679 Speaker 2: And I'm like stop you were just because you're just 471 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,639 Speaker 2: not a title to know anything. And that's why I'm like, 472 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:38,919 Speaker 2: I don't say I'm like you guys, don't I'm not 473 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,280 Speaker 2: saying anything anything unless. 474 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,640 Speaker 3: You don't. It's not it's not you. 475 00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,040 Speaker 1: And that was what was really interesting, is like for me, 476 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,080 Speaker 1: I know, once the train leaves the station, there's kind 477 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,600 Speaker 1: of like no good way to deal with it. But 478 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:58,160 Speaker 1: like I really had to sit, and I sat for 479 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,520 Speaker 1: a long time because I was like, there's a few 480 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:04,040 Speaker 1: things at play here. I don't even know what's happening 481 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,720 Speaker 1: in my world yet, so I don't know how to 482 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,440 Speaker 1: talk to you about it as I figure it out. 483 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,119 Speaker 4: I should have the space to do that. 484 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,600 Speaker 1: And then there was this other thing where I was like, well, 485 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:18,520 Speaker 1: the misogyny is breathtaking because it's all women. And also 486 00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:22,520 Speaker 1: there's this thing of like it's twenty twenty four, you know, 487 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,359 Speaker 1: I guess twenty twenty three. And I'm like, and you 488 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,479 Speaker 1: want to like out someone for sport. 489 00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:27,679 Speaker 4: I'm a grown up. 490 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 1: I'm really secure in myself. But like, what about kids 491 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,320 Speaker 1: who kill themselves over these things? Like this is not 492 00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:37,439 Speaker 1: a light thing that they are seeing happen to someone 493 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,880 Speaker 1: who is in the public eye, who they probably perceive 494 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,480 Speaker 1: as having like privilege or power, And it's happening to me, 495 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,119 Speaker 1: So what's going to happen to them? 496 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:45,959 Speaker 4: And then I was like, are you trying to make 497 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:46,720 Speaker 4: me ashamed? 498 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,920 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, if you thought like outing me 499 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:54,080 Speaker 1: at the top of a journey was gonna make me 500 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,560 Speaker 1: feel ashamed, like I'll sit and be quiet and figure 501 00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,919 Speaker 1: out my life. But once I haven't figured out, like, 502 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,600 Speaker 1: watch me be proud, bitches. I hope you choke on 503 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:06,840 Speaker 1: my pride. I hope you enjoy it. Like I'm just 504 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:07,520 Speaker 1: gonna flip the. 505 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:08,159 Speaker 4: Script on you. 506 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,520 Speaker 1: I'm not going to play this game, and like, I 507 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:15,959 Speaker 1: don't know this thing that we expect to know the 508 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,200 Speaker 1: details of people's lives, but also that we don't give 509 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,719 Speaker 1: people a minute to figure them out. Like if you're 510 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,360 Speaker 1: an anonymous person, you get to like figure out your 511 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:26,119 Speaker 1: life and then talk about it when you're ready, And 512 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:30,160 Speaker 1: that shifts for us, And like for some reason, people 513 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:31,800 Speaker 1: want to focus on the things that are the least 514 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,960 Speaker 1: important instead of the most And I think for you, 515 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:37,880 Speaker 1: especially bringing up like the Cape Middleton of it all, 516 00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:40,960 Speaker 1: like I know how personal that is for you, because 517 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:43,640 Speaker 1: people want to focus on like where is she, what's this? 518 00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:45,480 Speaker 4: What's that she's dealing with? An illness? 519 00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:48,600 Speaker 1: People want to chatter chatter chatter about your life, and like, 520 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:53,520 Speaker 1: you know how hard that is. You've talked so openly 521 00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:57,560 Speaker 1: about how last year you underwent a preventative double mastectomy 522 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,160 Speaker 1: because of a gene mutation that would make it it's 523 00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:04,800 Speaker 1: so likely to for you to suffer from cancer. 524 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:07,840 Speaker 4: And like, oh, I don't know. 525 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:10,960 Speaker 1: I wondered if watching her go through all that, given 526 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,400 Speaker 1: what you were going through, both like in the press 527 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:18,840 Speaker 1: and also in your personal literal health life, felt wild 528 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,520 Speaker 1: for you. So it's interesting to hear you bring that up. 529 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:25,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, I just and I think I learned a lesson 530 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:31,960 Speaker 2: to because until it's built with the gossips and all 531 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:36,000 Speaker 2: of that, sure I would have sat back and gone, 532 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:39,720 Speaker 2: oh yeah, let me see. I'm so curious about like 533 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:43,680 Speaker 2: this person getting a divorced. Is this person what are 534 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,560 Speaker 2: they doing? Is this for? You know? And just like 535 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 2: reading these tabloids and then now I'm like, no, no, 536 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:55,520 Speaker 2: I don't believe anything I read. Leave them alone. I 537 00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:59,240 Speaker 2: just don't believe anything. And I don't I don't engage 538 00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:03,240 Speaker 2: in it because I remember, you know, the thing is 539 00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:08,520 Speaker 2: is it's like that's somebody's daughter, that's somebody's mom, that's 540 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:15,040 Speaker 2: someone's sister, that's somebody's everything. That's a real human being. 541 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:17,920 Speaker 2: And I was like, and we're picking on the part 542 00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:21,640 Speaker 2: and we're just it's yeah, I can't. I can't, and 543 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:25,360 Speaker 2: it you know, I don't. The internet can be like 544 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,600 Speaker 2: such a and it's such a like you said earlier, 545 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,640 Speaker 2: it's it's so weird because it's like the internet helps 546 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:33,080 Speaker 2: so much with your career. I mean you basically, if 547 00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:36,160 Speaker 2: you're not on TikTok or doing something, the label is 548 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:40,520 Speaker 2: like on your ask about it. But it's also it's 549 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:44,400 Speaker 2: like this fine line and I just think with me personally, 550 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:49,760 Speaker 2: for my addictive personality, it's just not yeah, it's not 551 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:51,440 Speaker 2: a good move for me. 552 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it can be heavy. 553 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:56,520 Speaker 1: And now a word from our sponsors who make this 554 00:30:56,600 --> 00:31:09,400 Speaker 1: show possible. One of my friends and I talked about 555 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,440 Speaker 1: the internet is like when you really get in that 556 00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:15,120 Speaker 1: loop and you realize you're on it too much, Like 557 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:18,640 Speaker 1: it's basically just like emotional cutting, like it's a self 558 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:22,240 Speaker 1: harm kind of thing, and like that, I think when 559 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:23,840 Speaker 1: you start to think about it in that way, and 560 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:28,080 Speaker 1: I imagine especially for you, you know, being seven years sober, 561 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:31,920 Speaker 1: by the way, congratulations, seven is a big number. When 562 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,320 Speaker 1: you can identify like, oh, this is making me feel 563 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:38,760 Speaker 1: like that bad thing, it probably feels important to shift 564 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:43,400 Speaker 1: your habits. What made you decide to quit drinking? Like 565 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,200 Speaker 1: was it a feeling you had? Was it like a moment? 566 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,480 Speaker 4: Was it like a journey to go, Oh, I think 567 00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 4: maybe this is just. 568 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:58,320 Speaker 2: Not for me, So I didn't. I started drinking like 569 00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:01,240 Speaker 2: my brushman years and then I was like, oh, I'm 570 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:04,120 Speaker 2: pretty good at this. And then I started doing the 571 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:07,480 Speaker 2: whole like weekends playing shows, and of course, you know 572 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:13,400 Speaker 2: I was underage, but that does that even matter? Right? 573 00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:17,240 Speaker 2: But a lot of these venues stuff, I wasn't getting paid, 574 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:18,880 Speaker 2: but it was like you can have a free bar 575 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:22,720 Speaker 2: pab so like, yeah, I'm gonna I'm like, okay, so 576 00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:25,280 Speaker 2: I'm getting all this. I'm a college student on the 577 00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:29,560 Speaker 2: weekend is getting all this free beer? Like absolutely, you know. 578 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,320 Speaker 2: I started taking advantage of that, and it just became 579 00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:34,640 Speaker 2: I was like, okay, I'm good at this and I 580 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,120 Speaker 2: like it, and I like how I, you know, can 581 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:40,080 Speaker 2: act and how out knowing I am when I'm drinking. 582 00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 2: And then it just started to become this thing where 583 00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,240 Speaker 2: that I get home like what, you know, what have 584 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:50,840 Speaker 2: you been doing? I started kind of going down and 585 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,120 Speaker 2: pass and then I was like all right, I'm gonna 586 00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:59,080 Speaker 2: not drink. Let's not drink. And I woke up face 587 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:02,880 Speaker 2: down in a parking lot with people shaking me trying 588 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,800 Speaker 2: to get me to wake up. I had played a show, 589 00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:06,960 Speaker 2: and I was like, all right, I was pretty good 590 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:09,080 Speaker 2: at hiding how much I had drank to you know, 591 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,040 Speaker 2: I'm pretty good at making it a little. I get 592 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,680 Speaker 2: the same drink in my head and I was like 593 00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,880 Speaker 2: I'm going to drive home see guys, and they woke 594 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,680 Speaker 2: me up my space out in the parking lot, you know, 595 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,440 Speaker 2: in my own vomit and I was like, already, can't stop. 596 00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:26,600 Speaker 2: And so I didn't drink for a couple of weeks, 597 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,200 Speaker 2: and then it was like, okay, I'm good. I want 598 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,320 Speaker 2: to you know, it's like I could not do it. 599 00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:34,600 Speaker 2: And so I went to New York for the first 600 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:41,320 Speaker 2: time and played these really crappy shows. You know. I 601 00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:44,040 Speaker 2: was just excited, and you know, of course, I drank 602 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:48,120 Speaker 2: more that night than I've ever drank. And I woke 603 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:51,600 Speaker 2: up the next morning and I was just like you 604 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,920 Speaker 2: you I felt I don't know, it was the weirdest 605 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,520 Speaker 2: feeling I've ever had. I've never felt like that since, 606 00:33:57,560 --> 00:33:59,320 Speaker 2: but it was it was very much like you have 607 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:02,840 Speaker 2: to kill yourself and that it was this crazy like 608 00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:07,600 Speaker 2: dark feeling and it was like you you you You've 609 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:09,480 Speaker 2: got it, this is it, this is it, and you're 610 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,120 Speaker 2: not gonna And I felt like that for days and 611 00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:14,320 Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, I'm not I'm not gonna drink anymore. 612 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:17,480 Speaker 2: I was like, I've gotta is that. What this is 613 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,279 Speaker 2: is that what this feeling is like the depression was 614 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,960 Speaker 2: just so heavy from that, and I was, you know, 615 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:27,200 Speaker 2: obviously I've always had a lot of you know, OCD anxiety, 616 00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:31,879 Speaker 2: and so then obviously you go drink all this, yeah, 617 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,120 Speaker 2: and then the coming down from that is just it 618 00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:37,640 Speaker 2: makes it ten times worse. And that feeling lasted for 619 00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:39,479 Speaker 2: like two weeks, and I did not drink, I didn't 620 00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:43,240 Speaker 2: touch anything. I got back home and I was like, okay, 621 00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:46,160 Speaker 2: what what what do I do? So I went and 622 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:50,200 Speaker 2: got like all the sobriety books and I was like, 623 00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:53,520 Speaker 2: You're gonna learn to love sparkling water. We're we're gonna 624 00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:57,520 Speaker 2: like be that asshole that just drank sparkling water and 625 00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:02,680 Speaker 2: that's it. And I I just engrossed myself in it. 626 00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:04,719 Speaker 2: And it was hard. And then of course it was 627 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:08,239 Speaker 2: hard to when your friends are like, yeah, okay, and 628 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:11,080 Speaker 2: then you know, they're kind of some of them were like, well, problem, 629 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,000 Speaker 2: you just you need to chill, And I'm like, no, 630 00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,360 Speaker 2: I if there's something I don't want to do and 631 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,160 Speaker 2: I can't stop, and that's a problem. 632 00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:18,919 Speaker 4: Yeah. 633 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:22,719 Speaker 2: And I remember texting my my mom and my grandma 634 00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:25,400 Speaker 2: and my aunt in a group message that said, hey, 635 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,600 Speaker 2: I'm gonna I'm gonna stop drinking, and they were like, 636 00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:32,680 Speaker 2: thank god, we've been hoping. And I was like, I 637 00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:34,480 Speaker 2: was like, all right, when you when you see stuff 638 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:38,920 Speaker 2: like that, you're like okay, And I literally I just 639 00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:41,480 Speaker 2: I was like, all right, get up early and go 640 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:43,800 Speaker 2: to the gym every day and just really starting to 641 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:48,600 Speaker 2: get on this this routine. And again it's been hard. 642 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:53,839 Speaker 2: I mean last year, I seriously didn't think I was 643 00:35:54,840 --> 00:36:02,160 Speaker 2: going to remain sober. There was several that I was like, yeah, 644 00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:04,920 Speaker 2: maybe want to drink. I just you know, I just wanted. 645 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,680 Speaker 2: I was like, what does it matter anymore? And think 646 00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,200 Speaker 2: thank god, you know, I got through those moments that 647 00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,120 Speaker 2: have people in my life that I was, you know, 648 00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:16,680 Speaker 2: able to talk to. But I think I think too. 649 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,920 Speaker 2: When you first get sober, it's like, obviously not easy, 650 00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:24,640 Speaker 2: but you can remember why you're not drinking and the reasoning. 651 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,600 Speaker 2: But the further along I get, you start to be like, well, 652 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,800 Speaker 2: maybe I'm different, you have changed. Maybe I get handle 653 00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:32,839 Speaker 2: a drink or two, and then you know, I have 654 00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:36,000 Speaker 2: a relapsed dream and I wake up and I'm like 655 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,480 Speaker 2: the alcohol that it never tastes good, and as soon 656 00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:42,880 Speaker 2: as I do it, I just destroyed. Every time so 657 00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:45,320 Speaker 2: I'm like, I feel like I need those dreams. 658 00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,759 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's actually really kind of amazing that you get 659 00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,160 Speaker 1: to key into your subconscious like that, because you know, 660 00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:57,319 Speaker 1: in hindsight, it's like, of course, everything feels real clear 661 00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:00,000 Speaker 1: in hindsight. Right, you can go, you can look back, 662 00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,560 Speaker 1: can be like, wow, maybe all these things like we're 663 00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:05,920 Speaker 1: happening for a reason before I saw it. Maybe you 664 00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:07,680 Speaker 1: know it can be the great things. But I also 665 00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:13,680 Speaker 1: think to your point, like, addiction is kind of like 666 00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:18,120 Speaker 1: being an abusive relationship. This thing continues to harm you, 667 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:22,839 Speaker 1: but like years after you're out of the abusive relationship, 668 00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:25,640 Speaker 1: you might look back a little more fondly on the 669 00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:26,480 Speaker 1: happy times. 670 00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:30,560 Speaker 4: And that's the danger. And so I absolutely get Yeah, 671 00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:34,239 Speaker 4: I get what you're saying there for sure. How is 672 00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,440 Speaker 4: it now, like seven years in. 673 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:42,279 Speaker 1: Because you've been public about it, and because you know, 674 00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:44,640 Speaker 1: you've got a good crew of people around you, like 675 00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:49,560 Speaker 1: your collaborators, producers, the folks you work with, friends, family, Like, 676 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,120 Speaker 1: do you feel like you're in a really good situation 677 00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:55,120 Speaker 1: with it where people instead of saying yeah, come on 678 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,080 Speaker 1: not you are are like yeah, you and we're going 679 00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:00,080 Speaker 1: to support you. We're going to be here for you, 680 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,319 Speaker 1: We're gonna make sure we can help you maintain this 681 00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:06,040 Speaker 1: or does it feel like more of an individual path. 682 00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:12,880 Speaker 2: I mean it's obviously an individual, but I mean it 683 00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:17,239 Speaker 2: was everybody around me very much keeps an eye on me. 684 00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:18,280 Speaker 4: That's great. 685 00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:26,879 Speaker 2: It's very like everybody knows I'm sober and we don't. 686 00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,320 Speaker 2: I mean, I don't even think there's any like alcohol 687 00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:32,640 Speaker 2: on the bus. I also don't want to be that person, 688 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:36,359 Speaker 2: and I made it very clear of hey, I don't 689 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:39,000 Speaker 2: care if you drink around me, because the thing is 690 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,000 Speaker 2: that I have to be able to be strong in 691 00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:44,880 Speaker 2: that sense. I can't. I'm like, I play music for 692 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:48,920 Speaker 2: a litting. It's everyone's drinking at the venus. There's bars 693 00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:51,120 Speaker 2: and that is great, and you know, I'm not going 694 00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:54,120 Speaker 2: to see what if you shouldn't drink. There's some people 695 00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,160 Speaker 2: that can go have a glass of wine or do whatever, 696 00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:59,640 Speaker 2: and they're they're fine. I'm not. So it is our 697 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:03,040 Speaker 2: verse on journey. But everyone around me has been super great. 698 00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:09,120 Speaker 2: I mean, for you know, my sober anniversary, I mean 699 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:12,319 Speaker 2: people in VAP I had so many people bringing me 700 00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:17,560 Speaker 2: like gifts and arts, and then they got me My 701 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,480 Speaker 2: team got me a cake red velvet cake for my 702 00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:24,479 Speaker 2: seven years. So I feel very very supportive. And every 703 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:28,560 Speaker 2: year I know I have this I like to go 704 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:33,080 Speaker 2: buy me something nice. Is as a little a little gift. 705 00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:35,000 Speaker 2: I'm like, all right, you got to go buy yourself 706 00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:39,480 Speaker 2: something nice, flurage on something as a little as a 707 00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:40,080 Speaker 2: little gift. 708 00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:42,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like an anniversary present. 709 00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:42,759 Speaker 3: I love that. 710 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:46,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, for myself and that's yeah. 711 00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:51,920 Speaker 1: So being you know, on the other side of last year, 712 00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:56,160 Speaker 1: you know, with your health stuff, being back on tour, Like, 713 00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,920 Speaker 1: how has this next phase felt? Because I read the 714 00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:04,080 Speaker 1: you wrote every song on the new album I'm obsessed solo, 715 00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:08,560 Speaker 1: So like, do you do you feel like you're just 716 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:10,719 Speaker 1: in this whole new phase, like you walked through the 717 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:12,640 Speaker 1: fire and you came out so much stronger. 718 00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:18,319 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I'm a hundred times better than I was, 719 00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:25,920 Speaker 2: you know, I there's not even there's no comparison. So, 720 00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:32,200 Speaker 2: you know, as much as it's uh, it sucked, you know, 721 00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:34,000 Speaker 2: I've got to thank a lot of those people because 722 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:38,759 Speaker 2: I'm like, now I I can handle anything. I'm like 723 00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:42,319 Speaker 2: what Also, I'm like, what what else? There's nothing worse 724 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,600 Speaker 2: that could happen at this point as far as like 725 00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:47,840 Speaker 2: the media stuff, and you know, I had to really 726 00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:50,120 Speaker 2: sit back and look at it. I was like, there 727 00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:56,359 Speaker 2: are people starving, there are people being murdered, you know, 728 00:40:56,520 --> 00:41:00,760 Speaker 2: they're they're overseas. It's just like there's so watched stuff. 729 00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:04,400 Speaker 2: There's there's children in war zones and all these people 730 00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:07,480 Speaker 2: being hurt. And I was like, I wake up and 731 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:09,279 Speaker 2: I have my coffee and I do all this and 732 00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:12,160 Speaker 2: I'm like, so what trolls on the internet are talking 733 00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,920 Speaker 2: smack about me? I was like, I have a stove blasted. 734 00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:17,440 Speaker 2: And when you look at things from that perspective, and 735 00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:21,120 Speaker 2: I'm like, who cares? Just it? Also, you know, it 736 00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:23,200 Speaker 2: just makes you be like, hey, there's so much more 737 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:25,839 Speaker 2: to life. There's so much more that you need to do, 738 00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:30,400 Speaker 2: and who just it's I had to get out of 739 00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:33,319 Speaker 2: the woe as me mentality, and I would say, you know, 740 00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:35,439 Speaker 2: I think it was good for me to process that 741 00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:38,440 Speaker 2: and be able to sit. But you know, when everything 742 00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:42,279 Speaker 2: started happening, I just remember that was the day all 743 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:45,640 Speaker 2: this crap started like blowing up. I was with my 744 00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:48,960 Speaker 2: family and I don't get much time like that with 745 00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:52,319 Speaker 2: my mom, my stepdad and my siblings, and like my 746 00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:55,480 Speaker 2: actual you know, my my dad and Stepmam were there 747 00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:59,400 Speaker 2: so like all my hairs, like everybody there tell like 748 00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:02,560 Speaker 2: a cook out and I can't even eat and I'm 749 00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:05,520 Speaker 2: a nervous wreck. And I remember my little sister five, 750 00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:07,160 Speaker 2: and she like grab me by face, she said, why 751 00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:09,319 Speaker 2: do you cry so much? Why are you crying so much? 752 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,920 Speaker 2: And I was like I look back and I like, 753 00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:14,759 Speaker 2: my gosh, that was the last time I've had all 754 00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:18,440 Speaker 2: them together. And I was like, that was, you know, 755 00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,200 Speaker 2: a year ago. And I was like I sat there 756 00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:23,600 Speaker 2: so concerned it might be people that don't matter. And 757 00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,279 Speaker 2: I was like, I'll be damned, I let myself do that, 758 00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:29,239 Speaker 2: Like I don't get that moment back. And I was like, 759 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:32,160 Speaker 2: I letn't them have those moments because I was so 760 00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:34,920 Speaker 2: far gone. I was like, I'm not I'm not doing 761 00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:40,120 Speaker 2: that anymore. And I learned a lot and I'm but 762 00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:42,880 Speaker 2: I'm definitely in a better place. And I feel like 763 00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:43,680 Speaker 2: you are too. 764 00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:46,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you know. 765 00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,960 Speaker 1: It's like it it takes practice, like in the way 766 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:54,600 Speaker 1: that I imagine you have to maintain sobriety, Like I have 767 00:42:54,760 --> 00:43:00,960 Speaker 1: to maintain reminders with myself to not need to change 768 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,120 Speaker 1: people's minds, to not need everybody to like me to 769 00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:07,759 Speaker 1: not you know, like my friends were like, but you know, 770 00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,520 Speaker 1: you know, so what does it matter if a group 771 00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:13,600 Speaker 1: of awful people that. 772 00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:15,480 Speaker 4: You do not know want to call you names. 773 00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,560 Speaker 1: Essentially, what they're doing is looking at you and saying 774 00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:20,600 Speaker 1: your hair's blue, and you're like, but it's not, and 775 00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,240 Speaker 1: they're saying, yes, it is. I see it. It's blue, 776 00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:26,919 Speaker 1: and you're going it. But it's not like the hair 777 00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,080 Speaker 1: on my head, you know, currently, at least for me 778 00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,120 Speaker 1: getting ready to do this next movie, the hair on 779 00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:33,439 Speaker 1: my head is red, okay, Like I have red hair 780 00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:34,120 Speaker 1: and people. 781 00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:36,560 Speaker 3: Are like, no, it's blue, Like what the who? What 782 00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:37,720 Speaker 3: does that opinion matter? 783 00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:41,520 Speaker 1: And there's something about like putting it in a perspective 784 00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:46,080 Speaker 1: like that that was helpful for me and understanding like 785 00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:50,800 Speaker 1: I am one human and to have millions of people 786 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:54,799 Speaker 1: and outlets and things be like abusive and cruel. Of 787 00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:58,480 Speaker 1: course it's hard, of course it's hard. But I don't need, 788 00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:00,760 Speaker 1: to your point, to like let them into the cookout 789 00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:03,440 Speaker 1: with my family. I don't need to lose what is 790 00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:05,279 Speaker 1: real in my life. 791 00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:08,200 Speaker 4: Over what false opinions other people have. 792 00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:12,040 Speaker 1: And I think that is really I don't know, I 793 00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,480 Speaker 1: think that's like a good way to start trying to 794 00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:21,319 Speaker 1: deal with it. And you know, it's been fun for 795 00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:24,520 Speaker 1: me to go back to work and like channel some 796 00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:26,879 Speaker 1: of that energy into it. I imagine it's so fun 797 00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:29,440 Speaker 1: for you to go, you know, up on stage at 798 00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:32,400 Speaker 1: night and be in the space that you love, doing 799 00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:34,759 Speaker 1: what you love and be reminded of who you are. 800 00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:41,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh for sure. I mean I'm like looking, I'm like, 801 00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:44,480 Speaker 2: you know, I look over and I literally have jone 802 00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:47,799 Speaker 2: yet watching my feet. And then you know, I get 803 00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:51,040 Speaker 2: off stage and Atlantis is texting me and she was like, 804 00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:54,080 Speaker 2: I can hear you from my green room and you 805 00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:57,160 Speaker 2: just sound so much, you know, and I'm like, a 806 00:44:57,280 --> 00:45:01,160 Speaker 2: year ago I thought, you know, of course I always 807 00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:03,640 Speaker 2: to send words. I'm like, your career is over, which 808 00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:06,279 Speaker 2: I still know my thought that, but you know, it's 809 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:09,239 Speaker 2: just like you think it. Yeah, And then I'm like 810 00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:12,080 Speaker 2: I sit here and I'm like, this has been the 811 00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:17,360 Speaker 2: most amazing tour. Everyone's so kind, They're just great people 812 00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:20,239 Speaker 2: to be around, and it's a very healthy environment and 813 00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:24,760 Speaker 2: I love that. Thanks get better. But it's yeah. 814 00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:25,759 Speaker 4: I love that. 815 00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:28,600 Speaker 1: We'll be back in just a minute. But here's a 816 00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:35,839 Speaker 1: word from our sponsors. It's so cool as a fan 817 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:39,600 Speaker 1: to watch you having this moment. Like I grew up 818 00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:43,399 Speaker 1: on those women on Atlantis, on Jones Jet, I grew 819 00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:45,480 Speaker 1: up on Melissa s Ridge, who you remind me so 820 00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:49,319 Speaker 1: much of, Like either, there are things about you two 821 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:55,399 Speaker 1: that I'm just like your presence and energy, and she's 822 00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:56,880 Speaker 1: one of my favorite humans. So I got to have 823 00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,800 Speaker 1: on the podcast this year and I just like lost 824 00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:00,920 Speaker 1: my mind. I was like, Hey, Melissa, I know I'm 825 00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:03,759 Speaker 1: supposed to be cool, but eight year old me is 826 00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:04,840 Speaker 1: going to come in the room and talk to you 827 00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:06,720 Speaker 1: for five minutes and then she'll leave and all pretend 828 00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:09,319 Speaker 1: I didn't like gush in this way and we were 829 00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:13,200 Speaker 1: just tackling. She's so lovely and like, I don't know. 830 00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:16,880 Speaker 1: I when I read that the tour got announced, I 831 00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:17,680 Speaker 1: was like, how. 832 00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:18,560 Speaker 3: Is Morgan feeling? 833 00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:18,839 Speaker 2: Like? 834 00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:22,240 Speaker 3: Is it such a trip? To your point? 835 00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,200 Speaker 1: Look to your left see jone Jet, look to your 836 00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:28,040 Speaker 1: right see Atlantis, Like are you losing your mind? 837 00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:29,080 Speaker 3: Are you okay? 838 00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:34,200 Speaker 2: It's just so funny to walk in every day and 839 00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:37,759 Speaker 2: jone Jets dressing runs rotten sat of yours and it's 840 00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:41,399 Speaker 2: just on a trip. I mean, just these two women too, 841 00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:47,320 Speaker 2: who both just really went out there did their own 842 00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:52,600 Speaker 2: thing and like changed the course for females who you know, 843 00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:56,560 Speaker 2: don't you know. I go through this a lot where 844 00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,319 Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't really know where I'm fit, and 845 00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:04,120 Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, I'm not. You know, this Barbie Doll 846 00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:07,600 Speaker 2: with this crystal clear voice, you know, it's like it's 847 00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:10,520 Speaker 2: such a so I think sometimes I'm like, man, and 848 00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,239 Speaker 2: maybe I should be more like that, and I'm like, no, 849 00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,040 Speaker 2: you know, And so then I see these two women 850 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:18,719 Speaker 2: that have just totally like done their own things and 851 00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:22,799 Speaker 2: beautiful talented women and they're doing so great, and it's 852 00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:24,879 Speaker 2: just I mean, you just learned so much from them. 853 00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:28,200 Speaker 2: It's so cool watching them and they they they can 854 00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:31,960 Speaker 2: they're just so so great blob, it's just incredible. 855 00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:35,799 Speaker 1: Well, and I imagine like there's to your point, there's 856 00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:40,080 Speaker 1: so much you learn from watching them, but like, you know, 857 00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:44,480 Speaker 1: they are also these incredibly like wise women who I'd 858 00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:48,480 Speaker 1: imagine could be such great mentors. Like have you asked 859 00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:52,439 Speaker 1: them for any advice, you know, experiences from their own 860 00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:56,160 Speaker 1: careers or in the industry or are you waiting until 861 00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:57,160 Speaker 1: the end of the tour for that? 862 00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:04,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, I haven't really like said too much around that, 863 00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:08,799 Speaker 2: and she's been like, well, we're just conversation, you know. 864 00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:13,279 Speaker 2: Atlantis will will drop by my dressing room and check in, 865 00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:16,440 Speaker 2: and she'll she'll text me every couple of days make 866 00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:19,480 Speaker 2: sure I'm good, and uh, it's just so funny. It 867 00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:21,080 Speaker 2: was with the first day I met Joan and she 868 00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:23,680 Speaker 2: was like watching and I got off the stage and 869 00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:26,440 Speaker 2: she was like, hey, sorry, sorry, I should be over 870 00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:29,000 Speaker 2: here bothering you. And I was like, you're jone Jet. 871 00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:30,800 Speaker 2: You can bother me all. 872 00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:31,080 Speaker 4: You want to. 873 00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:36,719 Speaker 2: And her assistant or Torment if someone will stand right 874 00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:38,799 Speaker 2: there and they're like, think about jone Jet is jone 875 00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:40,880 Speaker 2: Jet doesn't know she's young yet, and she's just like 876 00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:43,440 Speaker 2: the most down to earth person. I'm like, this is 877 00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:46,359 Speaker 2: so crazy because it's she's just She came out on 878 00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:49,400 Speaker 2: the balcony the other day beside my green room and 879 00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:52,520 Speaker 2: she was like, oh, I shouldn't bother you right now, 880 00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:56,080 Speaker 2: get ready to go on stage, and then just kind 881 00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:58,640 Speaker 2: of turns around. I was like, you you can again. 882 00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:02,240 Speaker 2: You can bother me all you want, but you want, ma'am, 883 00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:05,839 Speaker 2: any time you want your go to bothering. But it's 884 00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:10,000 Speaker 2: been Yeah, it's been really great and Atlantis. You know, 885 00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:13,640 Speaker 2: she'll she sent me a gift because she always got 886 00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:16,280 Speaker 2: her tea. She's got this special tea that she always 887 00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:18,920 Speaker 2: has literacy. She sent me a whole gift of all 888 00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:22,600 Speaker 2: this tea and everything, like a little sweet And it's 889 00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:27,040 Speaker 2: been it's been really nice to be and I'm honestly 890 00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:30,399 Speaker 2: gonna be really really sad when this tour is over. 891 00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:32,719 Speaker 2: I was like, already, I think we only have like 892 00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,239 Speaker 2: a haven more shows or something like that. And I 893 00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:38,160 Speaker 2: like looking at that, and I'm like, I've become friends 894 00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:42,279 Speaker 2: with the crew, you know, from Jones Jones team and 895 00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:45,600 Speaker 2: Atlantis's team, and this has been this has been the 896 00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:48,759 Speaker 2: best tour I've ever been on. I also did a 897 00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:51,480 Speaker 2: tour with Chris Stapleton and they were also super nice 898 00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:55,040 Speaker 2: and so but this has been the longest run I've 899 00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:57,279 Speaker 2: ever done. And I know, looking at it, from the 900 00:49:57,320 --> 00:49:59,399 Speaker 2: beginning of seeing all those dates, it gets a little 901 00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:05,720 Speaker 2: like you're gonna be gone this tour sort of You're like, Okay, 902 00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:07,960 Speaker 2: it's just long, and you don't and then you get 903 00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:12,000 Speaker 2: here and every man. I just got a new dog 904 00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:16,200 Speaker 2: while I was out here, little Fritz bulldog, and so 905 00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:21,279 Speaker 2: that's been you know, an adventure trying to train him 906 00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:24,759 Speaker 2: on the bus. And I bet it's been a it's 907 00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:29,160 Speaker 2: been a big it's been an eventful couple I'd say 908 00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:30,920 Speaker 2: a couple of weeks. It feels like a couple of weeks, 909 00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:32,160 Speaker 2: but it's it's been like a one. 910 00:50:32,239 --> 00:50:36,320 Speaker 4: So yeah, you're really in it. And it's interesting. 911 00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:38,920 Speaker 1: You know, you're on this tour with these powerhouse women. 912 00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:44,600 Speaker 1: You you released a song on the new album, walked 913 00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:48,439 Speaker 1: on Water, with Kesha, who is in her season of 914 00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:52,520 Speaker 1: you know, reclaiming her art and reclaiming her power as 915 00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:55,840 Speaker 1: a woman. Like it strikes me as so interesting that 916 00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:59,160 Speaker 1: you're getting this long experience with Joan and Atlantis and 917 00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:01,160 Speaker 1: then you and Kesha did this song together and you 918 00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:04,920 Speaker 1: had to record it was the day you met in person, right. 919 00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:08,239 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, the opposite experience. 920 00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:10,319 Speaker 3: You just went right into the deep end. What was 921 00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:10,959 Speaker 3: that like? 922 00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:17,640 Speaker 2: So I was like, when Kesha, you know, first put 923 00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:22,799 Speaker 2: that first record out, was immediately obsessed with her. I 924 00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:26,600 Speaker 2: was like, but I just have the best some of 925 00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:29,799 Speaker 2: the best memories that I have riding around and my 926 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:35,759 Speaker 2: cousin's Mustang and blaring you know, that record. But I 927 00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:38,560 Speaker 2: was so obsessed with But I was like the kid 928 00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:44,040 Speaker 2: on YouTube finding the like leak song, and I remember 929 00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:47,480 Speaker 2: trying to add her mom on Facebook because I was 930 00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:51,399 Speaker 2: like and of course I had to tell her all 931 00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:56,279 Speaker 2: of this. I was like grown up Elvis and you 932 00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:58,440 Speaker 2: oh my wall. I was like, this is the level. 933 00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:02,760 Speaker 2: I was like totally in love with her. And so 934 00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:07,319 Speaker 2: when you know, we got to meet and we went 935 00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:10,600 Speaker 2: that day and we sat on the beach in Malibu 936 00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:12,759 Speaker 2: and just sat there and chatted. And she's kind of 937 00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:17,880 Speaker 2: crazy because she just the water was freaking cold and 938 00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:20,239 Speaker 2: I don't even know what month this was, it was 939 00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:21,920 Speaker 2: still cold out and she just ran and got in 940 00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:25,120 Speaker 2: the water. I was like, no, I'm not I'm not 941 00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,520 Speaker 2: not going to be doing that. But then we went 942 00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:30,480 Speaker 2: to the studio and she was like, Okay, we'll be 943 00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:35,400 Speaker 2: there eight and I'm like PM, right, okay, PM, you know, 944 00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:39,720 Speaker 2: because I'm like for me, that was like ten pm. Yeah, 945 00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:42,440 Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, you know what USA that 946 00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:46,439 Speaker 2: West Coast time there. But she to start singing and 947 00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:49,640 Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, that was such a full circle while 948 00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:52,600 Speaker 2: for me to have this person that you admired for 949 00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:56,680 Speaker 2: so long and just sake everything she's been through. And 950 00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,040 Speaker 2: I got to hear you know she's put out that 951 00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:02,040 Speaker 2: song joy Ride. Yeah, I actually got can hear that 952 00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:04,200 Speaker 2: before it was out? So she played that, and then 953 00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:07,160 Speaker 2: she played a couple other songs, and it's just you know, 954 00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:11,080 Speaker 2: people they've always seen like the TikTok version of her, 955 00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:13,960 Speaker 2: but like she I heard some of these newer songs too, 956 00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:17,200 Speaker 2: that it's just like her voice. It's just you know, 957 00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:20,200 Speaker 2: TikTok's great song obviously, but it's so cool to hear 958 00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:26,200 Speaker 2: her ye vocally, so talented, and she's one of those 959 00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:30,920 Speaker 2: people that she doesn't have a mean mind in her body. 960 00:53:30,960 --> 00:53:34,960 Speaker 2: It's like you leave her feeling better than we got there. 961 00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:39,759 Speaker 2: She's just spiritual person. And I was like, man, I 962 00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:43,959 Speaker 2: can't wait for the world to see this, this woman 963 00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:46,680 Speaker 2: who owns all of her stuff and who's free. Now 964 00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:47,719 Speaker 2: it's so cool. 965 00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:51,000 Speaker 4: I love it. I love to see it. 966 00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:56,080 Speaker 1: Well, it's interesting, like this everything that's I sort of 967 00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:59,640 Speaker 1: think about for all of you, really, for you, for her, 968 00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:02,920 Speaker 1: you know, the women you're on tour with, Like everyone 969 00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:07,280 Speaker 1: has these sort of phoenix journeys, right like you find 970 00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:11,239 Speaker 1: your power, you find your purpose. I even think about, 971 00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:13,520 Speaker 1: you know, the tour coming right after you released an 972 00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:16,560 Speaker 1: album that you wrote solo for the first time, Like 973 00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:19,480 Speaker 1: it's everything just reads like growth. 974 00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:22,560 Speaker 4: So when you think about where you're going next. 975 00:54:23,719 --> 00:54:26,440 Speaker 1: Or maybe the year ahead of you, like what what 976 00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:29,399 Speaker 1: on the horizon, feels like you're work in progress now. 977 00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:34,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I mean I've already written the next record. 978 00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:39,480 Speaker 2: I've already like got the next one in the I 979 00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:44,720 Speaker 2: mean it's already so I have written so much stuff, 980 00:54:44,760 --> 00:54:50,760 Speaker 2: and I'm like, so for me, you'll obviously last year, 981 00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:57,000 Speaker 2: you know, I took off for my surgery yep. And 982 00:54:57,080 --> 00:54:59,960 Speaker 2: while it was not a break per se, it was 983 00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,000 Speaker 2: it was a bit of a break and it was 984 00:55:02,239 --> 00:55:05,359 Speaker 2: nice to have that downtime. So I've decided, like I'm 985 00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:10,160 Speaker 2: definitely gonna take December and January off for the part. 986 00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:12,600 Speaker 2: There's like a couple of things kind of sprinkled in there. 987 00:55:12,719 --> 00:55:18,000 Speaker 2: But you know, eventually, I'm gonna have to have a 988 00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:24,560 Speaker 2: hysterectomy because I also have the ovarian cancer beam so 989 00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:27,560 Speaker 2: I have to start the egg retrieving process because I 990 00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:30,440 Speaker 2: do want to. I've got to start doing that. 991 00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:33,680 Speaker 4: If you need anything, I've done. 992 00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:39,520 Speaker 2: It, okay, yeah, got you Okay, well yes, then I 993 00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:41,120 Speaker 2: might need to be hitting you up to ask you. 994 00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:43,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll give you all. I'll give you all the info. 995 00:55:45,440 --> 00:55:48,239 Speaker 2: Talking to the doctors has been it kind of goes 996 00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:51,600 Speaker 2: over your head. But so you know, I've got I've 997 00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:53,960 Speaker 2: got that going on and then putting out a new record. 998 00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:56,279 Speaker 2: But I've just got like kind of gotten into the 999 00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:59,640 Speaker 2: acting world. So I've done I've done one movie so far, 1000 00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:01,800 Speaker 2: and I've got a bunch of other stuff on the docket. 1001 00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:04,440 Speaker 2: So like that's been exciting for me. It's like a 1002 00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:08,560 Speaker 2: new challenge. It's something different, and I'm just I'm happy 1003 00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:11,240 Speaker 2: if I'm the happiest that I've been in a really 1004 00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:16,399 Speaker 2: long time. And yeah, I'm just hopefully things just keep 1005 00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:20,920 Speaker 2: growing and doing well. But I feel like I'm looking 1006 00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:24,600 Speaker 2: forward to taking a little bit of time myself and 1007 00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:27,799 Speaker 2: going on a bit of a vacation. I'm like, I 1008 00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:30,719 Speaker 2: need to go somewhere tropical and just sit, turn my 1009 00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:35,600 Speaker 2: boat off and sit and not do anything else. I've got. 1010 00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:37,880 Speaker 2: I was like, you're working really hard. I need to 1011 00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:40,759 Speaker 2: enjoy and I so my family is like, I'm gonna 1012 00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:43,560 Speaker 2: go in a big family vacation next summer. I'm taking 1013 00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:46,680 Speaker 2: time in June. I was like, let's go somewhere. Let's 1014 00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:49,120 Speaker 2: get a beach house and let's just sit. My siblings 1015 00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:51,040 Speaker 2: are growing up, and I'm like, I just I just 1016 00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:53,640 Speaker 2: want to exist with them for a bit. 1017 00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:57,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so good. It's like a friend of mine 1018 00:56:57,360 --> 00:56:59,400 Speaker 1: explained to me years ago. She said, look, you have 1019 00:56:59,440 --> 00:57:03,440 Speaker 1: to stop looking at rest as unproductive time and start 1020 00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:07,560 Speaker 1: looking at rest as an active resistance that is necessary 1021 00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:11,000 Speaker 1: to survive in a world that is this turned up. 1022 00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:14,960 Speaker 1: And I don't know what it was about reframing it 1023 00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:18,520 Speaker 1: like that, but it made me feel like I was 1024 00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:22,560 Speaker 1: allowed to give myself permission for some quiet time. And 1025 00:57:22,680 --> 00:57:25,320 Speaker 1: I'm I'm happy you're getting that for yourself too. 1026 00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:26,480 Speaker 4: It's great. 1027 00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:29,600 Speaker 2: It's a tough thing to do sometimes where you do 1028 00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:32,720 Speaker 2: work and so much, but I mean. 1029 00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:36,400 Speaker 4: That's my work in progress for sure, right exactly. 1030 00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:42,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh well, thank you so much for joining me today. 1031 00:57:42,160 --> 00:57:44,320 Speaker 1: Thank you for the way that you, like, I know 1032 00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:47,440 Speaker 1: it's not easy, but like I really do mean this. 1033 00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:49,520 Speaker 4: Thank you for the way that you choose to. 1034 00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:55,440 Speaker 1: Lead and stand you know, in yourself in this insane 1035 00:57:55,960 --> 00:57:57,840 Speaker 1: world that you know none of us could have ever 1036 00:57:57,880 --> 00:57:58,760 Speaker 1: been prepared for. 1037 00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:01,200 Speaker 4: It's it's so. 1038 00:58:02,760 --> 00:58:06,640 Speaker 1: Special to watch and like, yeah, when when some shit 1039 00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:08,720 Speaker 1: was really wild in my life for a while, like 1040 00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:11,560 Speaker 1: you helped, and we didn't even know each other yet, 1041 00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:14,400 Speaker 1: so I just want to say thank you again. 1042 00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:18,400 Speaker 2: I was watching everything going on with you, and I 1043 00:58:18,440 --> 00:58:20,959 Speaker 2: was I was keeping an eye on that, not for 1044 00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:24,800 Speaker 2: looking for anything salacious, but just because I was, like, 1045 00:58:25,560 --> 00:58:28,480 Speaker 2: you know, I felt a connection there. As far as 1046 00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:29,360 Speaker 2: all that does. 1047 00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:32,040 Speaker 1: All right, my dear, all right, i'd like to know 1048 00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:34,880 Speaker 1: thank you. You're wonderful. Talk to you soon. 1049 00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:36,560 Speaker 4: I can't bane