Speaker 1: Hi everyone. I'm Holly Robinson, pete, actor, author, advocate, do
Speaker 1: it All mom, and I'm also a caregiver. And this
Speaker 1: is care Walks, a podcast from iHeartRadio and Voltaian Arthritis
Speaker 1: Pain Gel. It's a show for family caregivers who give
Speaker 1: everything to everyone and need to make time for themselves
Speaker 1: through movement. Every episode is designed for you to walk
Speaker 1: as you listen, so just think of me and my
Speaker 1: guests as your weekly walking buddies. We'll hear stories from
Speaker 1: caregivers and gain tips and insights from health experts and
Speaker 1: advocates who know how important it is to take care
Speaker 1: of yourself and manage joint pain due to arthritis that
Speaker 1: often a companies being a caregiver. Welcome to our very
Speaker 1: first episode of care Walks. Everyone. I'm so glad you're
Speaker 1: here and I'm so excited to be here with you. You
Speaker 1: may not know this about me, but my own journey
Speaker 1: as a family caregiver started when I was just nineteen
Speaker 1: years old. My father, Matt Robinson, who some of you
Speaker 1: may remember originated the role of Gordon on Sesame Street,
Speaker 1: was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. I loved my dad so
Speaker 1: much so when I was a freshman in college and
Speaker 1: his health started to deteriorate. The choice was very clear
Speaker 1: to me. While I was in school. I chose to
Speaker 1: also be my dad's primary caregiver. It was not an
Speaker 1: easy road, and I took care of him for twenty
Speaker 1: pretty challenging years, but I will never regret being able
Speaker 1: to spend that time with my dad. It gave us
Speaker 1: the chance to repair some of the issues we had
Speaker 1: in our relationship, and I was able to see him
Speaker 1: in a totally different light. And it was just such
Speaker 1: an important and influential time in my life. I only
Speaker 1: wish a show like care Walks was around then. There
Speaker 1: was so much I didn't know when I was starting
Speaker 1: my caregiving journey with my dad. I felt so lost
Speaker 1: at the start. So my goal is to make sure
Speaker 1: this podcast makes you feel a little little less alone in
Speaker 1: your caregiving journey and gives you some valuable resources to
Speaker 1: help you also take care of yourself. As a reminder,
Speaker 1: right now, you're listening to the abridged version of this episode,
Speaker 1: but if you're looking to get a little extra inspiration,
Speaker 1: don't miss a minute. Check out the full length version
Speaker 1: of this episode in your podcast feed. All right now,
Speaker 1: that that's settled, let's dig into this episode today. We're
Speaker 1: talking about taking care of ourselves when we're taking care
Speaker 1: of others. How do you make yourself a priority in
Speaker 1: it all? You know, I think this is honestly the
Speaker 1: hardest thing about being a caregiver. You give, and you
Speaker 1: give so much, and everyone relies on you to take
Speaker 1: care of things, and then when it comes to taking
Speaker 1: time for you, it can almost feel selfish. But the
Speaker 1: reality is self care is so important when you're a
Speaker 1: family caregiver. You cannot fill from an empty cup. Remember
Speaker 1: that you cannot run yourself into the ground and be
Speaker 1: the best vers of yourself for the people you love.
Speaker 1: Taking time to care for yourself and do things that
Speaker 1: are good for your health, like taking a walk, will
Speaker 1: make you that much better at everything you do for others.
Speaker 1: To help us better understand the importance of self care
Speaker 1: for caregivers, I'm gonna chat with Nadine Robert's Cornish later.
Speaker 1: Nadine is the founder of The Caregiver's Guardian, and she's
Speaker 1: gonna help us get over the idea that we need
Speaker 1: to always put others first and give us advice on
Speaker 1: easy ways to start taking care of our needs. But
Speaker 1: before we get into today's conversation, let's begin our walk.
Speaker 1: Every week, I'm going to help you start your walk
Speaker 1: with a mindfulness exercise, So let's get started. First off,
Speaker 1: celebrate yourself and your body for showing up today and
Speaker 1: finding time to get active when you're a caregiver. I
Speaker 1: know it can be really tough, but it is so important,
Speaker 1: and I want you to keep telling yourself this every
Speaker 1: time a thought pops up, reminding you of other things
Speaker 1: that you have to get done today. So when you
Speaker 1: have a moment, take a breath, a deep breath in
Speaker 1: through your nose and let that air fill your lungs.
Speaker 1: Feel the sensation of your stomach and your chest rising
Speaker 1: with your breath, and now breathe out through your mouth
Speaker 1: and let everything in your body relax as you release
Speaker 1: that air. Self care is what lets us refuel to
Speaker 1: be the best version of ourselves. Now, I want you
Speaker 1: to find a good pace to settle into for the
Speaker 1: rest of the show, and as you do that, I'm
Speaker 1: going to share my conversation with our guest, Nadine Robert's Cornish,
Speaker 1: and together we're going to keep you company and learn
Speaker 1: more about how we can take better care of ourselves
Speaker 1: as we care for others. Today, I'm joined by Nadine
Speaker 1: Roberts Cornish, the founder of the Caregivers Guardian LLC. She
Speaker 1: founded the organization after her own experience of being a
Speaker 1: caregiver to her mother for fifteen years. Nadine discusses her
Speaker 1: story in her book Tears in My Gumbo, The Caregiver's
Speaker 1: Recipe for Resilience. Nadine, Welcome to care Walks.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Tally, It's great to see you,
Speaker 2: great to be here.
Speaker 1: Yes, I love the title of your book, Tears in
Speaker 1: My Gumbo. Can you tell us a little bit about
Speaker 1: what your experience as a caregiver has been like?
Speaker 2: Absolutely so. My personal experience of fifteen years caring for
Speaker 2: my mom was the experience of a lifetime one. It
Speaker 2: was an opportunity for me to give back to the
Speaker 2: person who gave me life right. But it was probably
Speaker 2: the most challenging and difficult experience I have ever encountered.
Speaker 2: So it's been a heck of a journey. It's been
Speaker 2: now almost twenty five years of supporting caregivers across the
Speaker 2: country and helping caregivers recognize that they must in fact
Speaker 2: make themselves the number one priority in their lives. What
Speaker 2: I tell all of my caregivers is that none of
Speaker 2: us choose this path. We all want a different scenario,
Speaker 2: you know, we have a different dream and vision of
Speaker 2: what our best lives is supposed to look like, and
Speaker 2: when we embark upon the caregiving journey, oftentimes that's not
Speaker 2: congruent with what we thought. And so it really is
Speaker 2: a resignation to the reality that life isn't quite going
Speaker 2: the way we wanted to go, and we're having to
Speaker 2: wear hats or step into a role that we didn't
Speaker 2: see coming. But it really requires us to change who
Speaker 2: we are.
Speaker 1: It does, and you're never really prepared for how that
Speaker 1: manifests itself. Now just kind of have to go with
Speaker 1: the flow. And that is one of the hardest parts,
Speaker 1: at least for me. How did you find your own
Speaker 1: voice during a time that's just it's very hard to
Speaker 1: speak up for yourself.
Speaker 2: This is good because it's so necessary. I had an
Speaker 2: advantage with a background in public health. I knew how
Speaker 2: to advocate for my mother. What I didn't know was
Speaker 2: how to step back, to take care of myself, to
Speaker 2: let other people take charge so that I could recharge
Speaker 2: so that I could really do the necessary work on myself. Yes,
Speaker 2: oftentimes we get really, we get it really twisted. We
Speaker 2: think that we are supposed to give and give and
Speaker 2: give and do and do until there is nothing left.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: And we also have this complex around stopping to take
Speaker 2: care of ourselves. Yes, it's guilt associated for so many people.
Speaker 2: And it's this warped idea that self care, taking care
Speaker 2: of yourself is a selfish act, when in fact it
Speaker 2: is mandatory. Yes, and my book I talk about it
Speaker 2: not it being non negotiable. Yes, you cannot take care
Speaker 2: of someone else if you are not making yourself a
Speaker 2: priority in the program and if you are not finding
Speaker 2: a way. And I don't really subscribe so much to balance,
Speaker 2: because balance, to me is a fallacy. Yes, harmony, however impossible,
Speaker 2: You can find harmony, and creating harmony when you are
Speaker 2: caring for a loved one is absolutely essential, and sometimes
Speaker 2: that means giving up on the idea of who's supposed
Speaker 2: to support you along this journey. A lot of us
Speaker 2: get really caught up in the idea that our siblings
Speaker 2: are supposed to help carry the weight. And many times,
Speaker 2: in many families that simply isn't the case. But because
Speaker 2: the sibling isn't willing to do it, we say no
Speaker 2: to everyone else in community that would be willing to
Speaker 2: support us. And so really releasing the idea of who
Speaker 2: it must be and accepting whoever it is that shows
Speaker 2: up to support you in the journey is essential.
Speaker 1: That is a word right there.
Speaker 2: It takes a community, takes a village.
Speaker 1: It definitely, definitely does. And how do you recharge, Nadine?
Speaker 1: What are your most vital self care practices?
Speaker 2: Prayer and meditation?
Speaker 1: Okay, good, good, good, talk about that a little bit.
Speaker 2: If you don't have a spiritual practice, if you don't
Speaker 2: even know what that is, caregiving will demand that you
Speaker 2: seek it out. You have to tap into something larger
Speaker 2: than yourself in order to adequately complete this assignment. That's
Speaker 2: not something that's done on an occasional basis. It is
Speaker 2: a discipline, a discipline around and making sure that I'm
Speaker 2: recharging and I'm filling my cup because caregiving will empty
Speaker 2: it every single day. There will not be a drop.
Speaker 1: Left, Yes, it will. And how important is movement and
Speaker 1: what are your favorite ways to stay physically active?
Speaker 2: And movement is essential? I am now knocking on the
Speaker 2: door of sixty two, and I'm on that being active,
Speaker 2: being physically fit is really important to me. Dancing is
Speaker 2: a regular part of my regiment. I love music, I
Speaker 2: love moving my body. I can't necessarily do all of
Speaker 2: the latest moves, but I can give it a whirl.
Speaker 1: Right, I'll bet you can do most of them.
Speaker 2: Hey, I give it a good try, that's for sure.
Speaker 2: Getting to the gym, and when I can't get to
Speaker 2: the gym, walking, I'm a power walker. And cycling was
Speaker 2: something that I never saw. I didn't never saw myself
Speaker 2: as a cyclist, but during the summer months, I live
Speaker 2: in beautiful Colorado and we have some of the best
Speaker 2: mountain paths and trails in the country, and I take
Speaker 2: full advantage of it. I'm a cyclist, so I move
Speaker 2: my body. It is absolutely essential.
Speaker 1: I started caregiving at nineteen when my dad was diagnosed
Speaker 1: with Parkinson's, but I never thought that I should stop
Speaker 1: to take care of myself. I never thought of my
Speaker 1: job was to take care of my daddy, and that's
Speaker 1: what I was going to do.
Speaker 2: Well. When you feel better about yourself, you feel better
Speaker 2: about what you have to do. You feel better about
Speaker 2: the task of caregiving. You show up as a better
Speaker 2: version of yourself. You're not quite as miserable, not quite
Speaker 2: as grumpy or unhappy as you become when you don't
Speaker 2: make self care priority.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, Nadine Roberts Cornish, thank you so much for being
Speaker 1: a part of care Walks today. Your book tiers in
Speaker 1: my gumbo The Caregiver's recipe for resilience is out. Everybody
Speaker 1: should get that. I really appreciate having this conversation with
Speaker 1: you today. Thank you for being an amazing caregiver.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Holly. It's been great and I really appreciate
Speaker 2: all that you are doing for caregivers across this country.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I want to thank Nadine again
Speaker 1: for being my guest today. I really appreciate our conversation
Speaker 1: touching on the stigmas of caregiving, learning to prioritize your
Speaker 1: self care and be mindful of burnout, to avoid losing
Speaker 1: your identity and caregiving, I for one, fully relate to
Speaker 1: the struggles around making yourself a priority. That's it for
Speaker 1: today's episode. Thank you once again to Nadine Roberts Cornish,
Speaker 1: and don't forget to come back next week for another
Speaker 1: walk where our guest doctor Amanda Nelson will share how
Speaker 1: movement and physical activity can help us take better care
Speaker 1: of ourselves and combat joint pain. And remember keep walking
Speaker 1: and don't forget to take care of yourself too. Care
Speaker 1: Walks is produced by iHeartRadio in partnership with voltairean Arthritis
Speaker 1: Pain Gel, and hosted by me Holly Robinson Pete. Our
Speaker 1: executive producer is Molly Sosha. Our head engineer is Matt Stillough.
Speaker 1: This episode was written and produced by Sierra Kaiser, with
Speaker 1: special thanks to our partners at GSK Platform, GSK, Weber,
Speaker 1: Shandwick and Edelman