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Speaker 1: Oh, good morning morning. How are you, Chelsea. Well, we're

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Speaker 1: in New York City today. It's a beautiful day in

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Speaker 1: the neighborhood. Joe and I have been exercising, like to

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Speaker 1: fitness fanatics since we've been in New York City. That's amazing.

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Speaker 1: We have walked the other day, he walked thirty five

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Speaker 1: thousand steps. I don't know why I didn't, but I

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Speaker 1: guess Disneyland. I know he's so he loves it. You

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Speaker 1: know that little app, your heart app on your phone

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Speaker 1: and you can track your steps. And we rented city

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Speaker 1: bikes yesterday and we drove all the way while we rode,

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Speaker 1: not drove. I hate when people say they drove a bike.

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Speaker 1: We rode all the way up to Central Park, all

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Speaker 1: the way around Central Park. We first we got our

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Speaker 1: little bagel because we've been trying at different bagel places

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Speaker 1: all over the city so far. Yeah, I do, but

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Speaker 1: I don't know what it's called. So that's helpful. And

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Speaker 1: we rode our bikes up. We got a bagel, cream

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Speaker 1: cheese and locks and the whole thing, and then we go.

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Speaker 1: We drove a road through Central Park, stopped at one

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Speaker 1: of these little pools ponds. It was more like an

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Speaker 1: algae pond, but it was pretty We ate our bagel.

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Speaker 1: Then we rode our bikes all the way down the

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Speaker 1: West Side Highway to our favorite little restaurant, Grand Banks,

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Speaker 1: where we sit on a boat and we had like

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Speaker 1: a strawberry mohito, and then we rode our bikes all

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Speaker 1: the way back up town and it was just glorious.

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Speaker 1: I mean, New York City is just so much fun,

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Speaker 1: especially when you don't live here, like it's always a vacation.

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Speaker 1: And Joe has started a laundrymat in our hotel room,

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Speaker 1: so he does laundry pretty much from I wake up

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Speaker 1: and the dryers going every morning, so he can must

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Speaker 1: wake up in the middle of the night and then

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Speaker 1: put another load. And so you guys, actually you have

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Speaker 1: a washer in our hotel room and it's more like

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Speaker 1: an apartment than a hotel room. That we read and

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Speaker 1: he does our laundry and then I hear the washing machine.

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Speaker 1: He does laundry constantly, and then he irons it all

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Speaker 1: and then he does it again. He starts again, and

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Speaker 1: if everything's clean, but it's everything's a mess, like everything's

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Speaker 1: shrunk or tight eyed. So the other day I got

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Speaker 1: a jumpsuit out of the dryer and it just had

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Speaker 1: chocolate stains everywhere, And I was like, what the funk

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Speaker 1: is this? Is this like a tight eye situation that

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Speaker 1: you're trying out, like what he goes to hunting? That

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Speaker 1: would it must have been something in your pocket, like

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Speaker 1: a piece of chocolate, which is so me, you know,

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Speaker 1: to have like a chocolate nutcluster left over in my pocket,

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Speaker 1: Like so my modeled so gross. Yeah, so one of

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Speaker 1: my jumpsuits was ruined, and one of my sweatpants, a

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Speaker 1: pair of sweatpants was also ruined, and that one had

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Speaker 1: a big chocolate stain right on the asshole. So I

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Speaker 1: could definitely not wear that one. And so I told

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Speaker 1: him to put a pin in his laundromat and learn

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Speaker 1: how to fucking do laundry before continuing. And then he

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Speaker 1: told me that that's racial profiling because all Chinese people

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Speaker 1: run laundromats. And I said, but you're not Chinese, So

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Speaker 1: what how is that racial profile? You're Filipino? He said,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm talking about. I mean, I was

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Speaker 1: going to ask if you said that he irons. I

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Speaker 1: feel like it's a known thing that white people don't

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Speaker 1: iron their clothes enough, like I am currently wearing an

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Speaker 1: unroned color. That's funny. Well, that would make sense. And

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Speaker 1: my privilege, like we don't even think we have to

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Speaker 1: iron our clothes. We could just go out looking like schleps.

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Speaker 1: I don't have to say at least my husband is

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Speaker 1: one man who I told him at the beginning of

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Speaker 1: our marriage, I will never iron your shirts if you

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Speaker 1: would like them iron, he died, Well, this isn't the fifties. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, nobody should be ironing anything for anybody else.

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Speaker 1: Unless Joe wants to continue iron name my things, that's fine.

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Speaker 1: But I would appreciate him taking out the laundry part,

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Speaker 1: because he's ruined a couple of my jumpsuits now, either

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Speaker 1: by shrinking them like they're too you know, some of

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Speaker 1: them you're not supposed to watch, just supposed to dry clean.

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Speaker 1: But I did send like three of my jumpsuits down

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Speaker 1: to dry clean at the hotel that we stay at,

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Speaker 1: and I have to say, I got back and I

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Speaker 1: just caught the number out of the corner of my eye,

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Speaker 1: and I said, what is It was five hundred and

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Speaker 1: eighty six dollars to dry clean three jumpsuits, And I

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Speaker 1: was like, you guys, that's not right. Even I know

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Speaker 1: that's not right. One of my girlfriends, she lives in

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Speaker 1: West Hollywood. I'm sure she was getting a stun in

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Speaker 1: Beverly Hills. She said she took several sweaters and two

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Speaker 1: blankets that you need to dry clean to a dry cleaner's.

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Speaker 1: She got the bell, went to pick it up. It

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Speaker 1: was sixteen hundred dollars. I was like, where are you taking?

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Speaker 1: She goes, oh, with such if your dry cleaner has

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Speaker 1: a name and it's not just dry cleaner, then you

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Speaker 1: should not be taking, especially your blankets. There blanket, I

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Speaker 1: didn't know you could dry clean. I guess that makes

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Speaker 1: sense dry clean blanket grant comforters and yeah, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I'm just glad that I don't. I you know,

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Speaker 1: laundry feels good when it's done, because we've been on

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Speaker 1: the road now for like three weeks, the both of us,

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Speaker 1: and we have so much accumulation of dirty stuff. So

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Speaker 1: it does feel good to have it clean. But it

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Speaker 1: doesn't feel good when it's all different colors and different lens.

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Speaker 1: When you get it out, you can never wear it again. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so you know, there you go, there you have it.

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Speaker 1: That's the crux of our That's what our relationship is

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Speaker 1: about currently dry cleaning or laundry. Sorry, okay, everybody. Here

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Speaker 1: are my up ming stand up dates. I'll be at

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Speaker 1: the Just for Last Comedy Festival in Montreal July, hosting

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Speaker 1: a gala Gala also pronounced as Gala. I am in

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Speaker 1: Vancouver August twelve, two shows in Vancouver. I'm in Calgary Saturday,

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Speaker 1: August thirteen and Sunday August fourteen. That's Calgary. And then

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Speaker 1: I have tons of dates coming up in the fall,

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Speaker 1: starting with Saratoga, California, Niagara Falls, Long Beach, California, Bakersfield, California,

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Speaker 1: Pasa Roblais, California, Wheatland, California, and lots of places in Florida, Tampa,

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Speaker 1: Fort Myers, Daytona Beach, Hollywood, Florida, and the list goes

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Speaker 1: on and on. Oh in San Diego and Riverside, California.

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Speaker 1: So lots of dates in California and Tucson, Colorado Springs. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: go to Chelsea Handler dot com for your tickets. I

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Speaker 1: will see you guys all there. These will be the

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Speaker 1: final dates of my Vaccinated and Horny tour, and I

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Speaker 1: can't wait to see all of you in person. Now

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Speaker 1: that everybody well most people are vaccinated and officially horny.

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Speaker 1: That's with three at the end, Katherine, just in case

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Speaker 1: you didn't know how to spell horny. Perfect. Okay, So

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Speaker 1: today we have somebody on who is very You'll know

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Speaker 1: her when you hear her. Her website is called Martha

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Speaker 1: dot com. The Bedford by Martha Stewart is her new

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Speaker 1: immersive restaurant in Vegas. Have you heard of that yet?

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Speaker 1: An immersive restaurant. She's got CBD, she's got a CBD line,

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Speaker 1: she has nineteen crimes, Martha's Chardonnay, and her name is

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Speaker 1: Martha Stewart. She's the founder of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia.

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Speaker 1: It's the dream to have an omnimedia Martha. Welcome to

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Speaker 1: the show. Hi, It's always such a delight to see you. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy that you're here in my office and

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Speaker 1: that we can talk. You know, we've never really just talked. Yes,

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Speaker 1: we've interacted before. We've had some social media interaction. We

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Speaker 1: bumped into each other most recently at Jimmy Fallon show.

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Speaker 1: That was so fun, but I think it was seth

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Speaker 1: Meyers though, oh you know what it was, Seth Meyers.

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Speaker 1: It's so hard to keep all these men straight, Isn't

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Speaker 1: it very hard because you do get mixed up. Late

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Speaker 1: night is late night, and there's like at least three

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Speaker 1: or four of them that you have to keep track of. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I was just your favorite. Oh god,

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Speaker 1: don't ask to ask me that. I would have to

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Speaker 1: say Jimmy Fallon just because I do his show the

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Speaker 1: most often, so I would say that, you know, he's

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Speaker 1: a real sweetheart. I like all of them. Is so hard.

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Speaker 1: I missed David Litterman the most. Well, you guys had

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Speaker 1: a nice report, and we we worked together a long time.

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Speaker 1: And now I think I've appeared on Seth Meyers more

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Speaker 1: than any other guests. That was a record for a while.

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Speaker 1: And now I don't know. I think I like Stephen Colbert.

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Speaker 1: Do you do that show? Oh yeah, I've done it,

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Speaker 1: but I don't regularly. I did Fallon more regularly. He's

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Speaker 1: a little more difficult, Yeah, but he's really smart. But

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Speaker 1: Letterman was difficult. No, No, I know Letterman had a

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Speaker 1: nice relationship. And did you guys have a relationship off screen?

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Speaker 1: I wish yeah, Well, because a lot of you know,

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Speaker 1: I was reading this Joan Rivers book because I was

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Speaker 1: I recently inducted her into the Comedy Hall of Fame

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Speaker 1: for Netflix, and I was reading a Joan Rivers book

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Speaker 1: and she was talking about her dynamic with Johnny Carson.

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Speaker 1: Did you ever do Johnny Carson show? Yes, yeah, that

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Speaker 1: was That was a hard show to do, That's what

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Speaker 1: she said, because everyone thought they had this great relationship,

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Speaker 1: but it was only for on camera. There was nothing

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Speaker 1: going on off camera. Did you Joan Rivers have any

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Speaker 1: affairs with anybody? Um, not that she spoke about in

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Speaker 1: the book, But I mean, I guess, you know, she

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Speaker 1: seemed to be like a person under herself. But I

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Speaker 1: don't mean narcissism or anything like that. Just she was

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Speaker 1: just so powerful, like her presence was so strong that

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Speaker 1: it would be hard to tell anybody else. But I

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Speaker 1: think she did. I think I wouldn't. I think I

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Speaker 1: eated her house once, and I think there was a

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Speaker 1: man around. Well, that's good to know, speaking of men.

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Speaker 1: What's going on in your love life these days? Nothing.

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Speaker 1: I had two mad crushes in the last month, which

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Speaker 1: is really good for me. Yeah, it turns out, you know,

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Speaker 1: one of them is married to the mother of some

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Speaker 1: friends of mine, and and I just he's so attractive,

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Speaker 1: but you don't you can't be a home record. No

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Speaker 1: I'm not. I've never been a home record, never, and

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Speaker 1: I've tried really hard not to be. It's hard to

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Speaker 1: have had the opportunity record and I have not taken

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Speaker 1: anybody up on it. And that's really where that's where

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Speaker 1: I meet men. They're all they're all marriage to friends

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Speaker 1: of mine or something like that. Well, it's very difficult

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Speaker 1: because I think there are certain ages we go through

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Speaker 1: where it's very tempting because you want to believe that, oh,

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Speaker 1: maybe this relationship that they're in is temporary, or maybe

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Speaker 1: they'll die. I always think, oh, gosh, couldn't that person

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Speaker 1: just die the wife you're not not painfully just die

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Speaker 1: and then But it hasn't worked out. No, it hasn't

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Speaker 1: worked out. But what I would say, I mean, I

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Speaker 1: find it curious because when was your when was your

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Speaker 1: last relationship? A while ago, not too long ago. But

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Speaker 1: while I go, Okay, so it's not that far in

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Speaker 1: the distance, right, so like a hundred years or well,

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Speaker 1: we know you're not a hundred years old. To Martha

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Speaker 1: nobody thinks that, and it speaking of you have a

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Speaker 1: lot of years ahead of you. But I would like

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Speaker 1: to know what, youth, what what do you think is

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Speaker 1: the most important thing in terms of legacy and leaving behind?

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Speaker 1: What is the thing that's most important for you to

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Speaker 1: be known for? Um, I would like to leave and

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Speaker 1: I think I am in the process of leaving a

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Speaker 1: vast library of good, authentic information for good living. That's

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Speaker 1: really It sounds kind of high minded and blah blah blah,

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Speaker 1: but it's actually a serious thing. You know, growing up,

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Speaker 1: I had the joy of cooking, and I had maybe

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Speaker 1: the better homes and Gardens house of a book of

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Speaker 1: household management. But I didn't have the Martha Stewart books

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Speaker 1: which are so phenomenally useful, and I didn't have the

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Speaker 1: ideas and the videos that we've created and produced over

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Speaker 1: the years. So so leaving that kind of legacy of

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Speaker 1: really good education, but also with a with a flair

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Speaker 1: for forliness and joyfulness and beauty, because I think we

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Speaker 1: what we do is pretty beautiful and all that information

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Speaker 1: we've created, that's a that's a good legacy. And did

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Speaker 1: you know when you were a little girl that this

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Speaker 1: is what you were going to be doing when you

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Speaker 1: grew up. No, Actually, I always wanted to be a teacher.

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Speaker 1: I was brought up loving my teachers. I was encouraged

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Speaker 1: to be a teacher to help little kids. I was

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Speaker 1: always doing the birthday parties and creating all kinds of

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Speaker 1: interesting things for the children to do, even when I

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Speaker 1: was a child. That started when I was about ten.

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Speaker 1: So teaching was always ingrained in me as a very

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Speaker 1: high minded profession, and that I could do it to

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Speaker 1: millions of people via television and via the Internet and

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Speaker 1: via magazines and books. That really has been fantastic. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean it's really Could you have ever imagined that

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Speaker 1: you would have such an empire like this? I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't think like that. I just think that. And

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Speaker 1: I just worked day to day and build and build

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Speaker 1: and try to try to fix and build and fix

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Speaker 1: and repair and build and create. That's how I go.

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Speaker 1: And what do you think the most influential relationships have

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Speaker 1: been in your life that have contributed to your sense

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Speaker 1: of self and your sense of success. Well, first of all,

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Speaker 1: I guess it was my parents, and I had a

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Speaker 1: nice relationship with both parents. I was my father's favorite

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Speaker 1: which didn't make me happy all the time, because I

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Speaker 1: don't think parents should have favorites. How many children six

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Speaker 1: the same as you? Yeah, what number are you? I

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Speaker 1: am number two? You were the baby, I'm number six. Well,

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Speaker 1: you're spoiled brat, and you got what you wanted, probably exactly,

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Speaker 1: but I got nothing that I wanted. I had to

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Speaker 1: work for every single Number two is a pretty hard

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Speaker 1: position to be, except that I got my father's attention

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Speaker 1: and none of the other kids did. He somehow fixated

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Speaker 1: on me, so and he and I were really good friends,

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Speaker 1: and I felt uncomfortable sometimes because I was he liked

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Speaker 1: me better than the other kids, and everybody knew it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they pretty much knew it, and I'm sure they held

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Speaker 1: it against me, and they probably still do. But my

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Speaker 1: mother was the egalitarian and she was great. She had

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Speaker 1: no favorites at all, and that kind of irked some

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Speaker 1: of the kids, but she was everyone was equal, everyone

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Speaker 1: got the share. You know. When my mother died, it

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Speaker 1: was so amazing. Her will was down to the penny

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Speaker 1: divided amongst the six children, you know, kind of nice. Well,

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Speaker 1: I think that's what a mother is meant to do,

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Speaker 1: is to love all of her children equally, because if

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Speaker 1: you ask any woman who their favorite child is, they

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Speaker 1: all say, oh, that's impossible. And if you ask any man,

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Speaker 1: their questions start to vary and they'll say things like

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Speaker 1: whoever needs me the most. You know, men love to

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Speaker 1: be needed. So how how does your relationship with your siblings?

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Speaker 1: Do they still feel that way? Do they still make

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Speaker 1: fun of the fact that you were the favorite? Well, no,

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Speaker 1: because we're I mean, my two closest siblings died unexpectedly.

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Speaker 1: The two youngest children died and um not not after

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Speaker 1: they were married and after they both had children, and

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Speaker 1: they just died from stupidity. I think I think they

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Speaker 1: were very careless about their health, so they did not

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Speaker 1: have to die. That's my theory, and I think it's

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Speaker 1: their children's theory also. So they've missed out on the grandchildren,

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Speaker 1: and they've missed out on the success of the of

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Speaker 1: their own children. It's it's sad, but they were they

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Speaker 1: were my favorites, my brother George and my sister Laura.

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Speaker 1: And Laura worked for me for a very long time

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Speaker 1: and George was a builder and he did a lot

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Speaker 1: of projects with me and two fabulous kids, and I'm

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Speaker 1: friends with all their children, you know, nice, nice friends

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Speaker 1: with their children, which is which is important to me.

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Speaker 1: But the other is my sister Kathy married a man

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Speaker 1: that hated me. So you know, we don't even go there.

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Speaker 1: We try to have a relationship, but not not a

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Speaker 1: very close one. Is this too much information? It's great?

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Speaker 1: And then brother Eric, Brother Eric, he's my older brother

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Speaker 1: and we've always been friends. And he's a fine craftsman

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Speaker 1: and I really admire his artistry and he knows it.

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Speaker 1: And he's older than I am, and he's, you know,

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Speaker 1: complaining a little bit about getting old, and I don't

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Speaker 1: I don't like that. I don't want him to complain

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Speaker 1: because he's a strong guy. And then we have the

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Speaker 1: brother that that brother, I guess every family has, I

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Speaker 1: know which one you're talking about. I have one of

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Speaker 1: those two have one. Yes. But he had a good

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Speaker 1: reason he went to Vietnam. Oh okay, So he is

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Speaker 1: a very good reason for being the way he was. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my brother does not have a good reason. He did

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Speaker 1: not go to Vietnam. So I'll have to follow up

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Speaker 1: on that later. Yeah, but I wish my brother would

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Speaker 1: write a book about his experience in Vietnam. Those guys

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Speaker 1: don't want to write books about their experiences, Yeah, because

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Speaker 1: they don't want to talk or remember it. It's too Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you know what, it would be so interesting now

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Speaker 1: in retrospect to know what they went through. I mean,

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Speaker 1: Vietnam was a hard war. Yeah, yeah, Vietnam. For our generation,

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Speaker 1: it was Iraq and Afghanistan. And we still haven't even

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Speaker 1: seen the after effects of what those soldiers went through. Right,

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Speaker 1: And kids don't know anything about war, that's the thing. Well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and it's happening all over the world. Generation right now

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Speaker 1: doesn't know about war and the effect it has on people. Uh,

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Speaker 1: it's so crazy to me that that they don't know it.

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Speaker 1: And yet Ukraine is happening right now, and and they

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Speaker 1: don't know, they don't understand how devastating it is to

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Speaker 1: a population. Yeah. Seeing those pictures coming out of Mariopole

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Speaker 1: or any of those cities, you're just like, it's the

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Speaker 1: most senseless act of destruction. The women with their babies

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Speaker 1: crossing borders for food and shelter, and the children carrying

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Speaker 1: their little white kitty cats on their shoulders. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's so horrible. So to pivot, I want to ask

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Speaker 1: you something about your experience. What do you think is

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Speaker 1: one of your favorite things about growing older? Favorite thing? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't have one, Yes, you do, come on, not

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Speaker 1: one because first of all, I don't think about age

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Speaker 1: or aging. I do not think about it. Uh, some

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Speaker 1: thing's happened to you. You know, you're your foot, you

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Speaker 1: stepping a hole in your rupture your achilles tendant. I

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Speaker 1: did that last year, and that was a stupid thing

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Speaker 1: because it's hurt me for a year. And that that's

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Speaker 1: the least favorite thing is is getting into any kind

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Speaker 1: of pain. Yeah, my favorite thing about getting older is

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Speaker 1: absolutely not one thing. And there you have it, everybody,

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Speaker 1: there's not one favorite thing about getting older. I thought

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Speaker 1: we would impart some positive wisdom from Martha's store. Not

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Speaker 1: a thing people. Okay, Well, on that note, we're gonna

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Speaker 1: take some callers. I give advice. It's just off the cough.

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Speaker 1: I'm not a medical doctor. You're not a medical doctor

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Speaker 1: unless you are a medical doctor. And I don't know

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Speaker 1: about that. But I know a lot about medicine. Yeah

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Speaker 1: so do I. Actually I love medicine. So Katherine, tell

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Speaker 1: us what we have in store for this episode. While

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Speaker 1: we have all kinds of questions that are right up Martha's.

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Speaker 1: Ali will take a quick break and we'll be right

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Speaker 1: back with Martha Stewart and Chelsea. Okay, and we're back.

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Speaker 1: And Martha brought some Easter eggs, even though they were

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Speaker 1: just they're not Easter eggs, They're just eggs from her

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Speaker 1: chickens who lay different colored eggs. Yeah, I thought they

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Speaker 1: were Easter eggs, and then upon closer inspection and Martha

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Speaker 1: telling me, I realized they are not Easter eggs. Well,

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Speaker 1: our first question comes from Heather. She says, Dear Chelsea,

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Speaker 1: knowing how much you and your family love Martha's vineyard

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Speaker 1: and that you go every year, I was hoping you

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Speaker 1: could share some suggestions on where to go and what

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Speaker 1: to do. My husband and are two year old, are

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Speaker 1: joining another couple and they're one year old at the

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Speaker 1: end of July. Staying in Edgartown one of the places

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Speaker 1: we should absolutely visit. And where are the best places

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Speaker 1: to eat? The more outdoors the better. We can also

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Speaker 1: find some adults only time without the kids stay well,

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Speaker 1: Heather m and I just have to say, Martha, you

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Speaker 1: may already know this, but in researching this question, I

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Speaker 1: learned that a very vast portion of the Internet thinks

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Speaker 1: that you own Martha's vineyard as as By the way,

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Speaker 1: all my nieces and nephews growing up thought it was

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Speaker 1: Aunt Martha's vineyard, and they would say when I'd say

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Speaker 1: I'm going to the vineyard, Aunt Martha's vineyard, they all thought,

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Speaker 1: not only was it my island, but it was also

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Speaker 1: I had a vineyard on the island, and that's why

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Speaker 1: I stay far away from Martha's vineyard. I don't ever

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Speaker 1: go to Martha's vineyard, so I couldn't offer any advice.

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Speaker 1: That's so that's a brand disruption, and she's got her

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Speaker 1: own thing going on. She doesn't need to be tied

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Speaker 1: to some island exactly. If you're staying in Edgartown, you're

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Speaker 1: gonna find plenty of things to do. Most places to

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Speaker 1: eat are the quarter Deck, which has like outdoor total

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Speaker 1: vineyard food like fried clams, shride shrimp, cheeseburgers, hot dogs,

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Speaker 1: all that stuff that you can get that's fun for kids.

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Speaker 1: If you go down to the wharf, there's tons of

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Speaker 1: places for kids, little candy stores, lots of shopping all

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Speaker 1: down on edgar Town, up and down Main Street and

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Speaker 1: around the Harbor View. In hotel is a great place

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Speaker 1: to have a drink and look at the sunset harbor

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Speaker 1: side in and then there's the wharf and everywhere you

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Speaker 1: go around there you'll find places you can't go wrong

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Speaker 1: on Martha's Vineyard. And then you're gonna want to go

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Speaker 1: up island too, to like see the more quiet parts

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Speaker 1: of the vineyard, which is West Tisbury and Tisbury and

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Speaker 1: uh the three main towns are Oak Bluffs, Vineyard Haven

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Speaker 1: and edgar Town. And then up island there's some really pristine,

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Speaker 1: beautiful beaches like in chill Mark and Menemsha. Those are

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Speaker 1: places you want to go and get a great lobster

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Speaker 1: roll and watch the sunset. Especially it's specifically the beach

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Speaker 1: in Menemsha, so you're gonna have a beautiful time in

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Speaker 1: the summertime. That's my special spot, Martha's Vineyard. It is. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my family, we had a house. They're growing up. You go, now, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we go every summer. You're really knowledgeable about Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean I couldn't even I've been going to Maine for

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Speaker 1: like thirty years, and I couldn't tell you all those

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Speaker 1: things about my island. I told you about my experience

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Speaker 1: in Biddeford Pool, right where I ran into the bushes,

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Speaker 1: and then I went over to Kenny Bunkport to the

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Speaker 1: compound and George Bush gave me a tour of all

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Speaker 1: of his artwork and then wouldn't let us leave the house.

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Speaker 1: We were captured because Barbara Bush wanted us to come

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Speaker 1: over to play pickle ball, and so I brought my

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Speaker 1: whole crew. I had my brothers, my sisters, like ten friends.

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Speaker 1: We went over played pickleball and then I hear the

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Speaker 1: former president go, miss Handler, is that you? And I thought, oh,

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Speaker 1: I can't be seen with this guy after all my

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Speaker 1: political you know, musing said publicly, I'm like, I gotta

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Speaker 1: get out of here. And then he dragged me into

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Speaker 1: his house. He goes, you're not leaving. He goes, come

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Speaker 1: look at all my artwork. And I had sunglasses on,

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Speaker 1: and he said I need you to take your sunglasses off,

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Speaker 1: and I said, I'm pretty stoned, so I think I'm

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Speaker 1: going to leave them on. And he looked at me

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Speaker 1: and thought I was kidding again, which I wasn't. And

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Speaker 1: then shortly after there we were able to skid attle.

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00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,880
Speaker 1: But it was actually he's very charming in person. I'm sure,

423
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 1: you've you've Yes, I've met him. And when I was

424
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 1: in Kenny for two years ago, I actually had dinner

425
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:06,600
Speaker 1: with Barbara's daughter and her husband. We had a very

426
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 1: nice dinner. The Bushes were away at that that weekend,

427
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,320
Speaker 1: so I didn't get to see them, but I just

428
00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 1: saw George W's wife in Texas, so I went down

429
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,239
Speaker 1: to give a talk and she was the honoree. So

430
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 1: we had a very nice little chat. Yeah, I love

431
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:22,159
Speaker 1: Barbara his daughter. Yeah, she's great. So, yes, have a

432
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,159
Speaker 1: great time in Martha's vineyard and those are the places

433
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 1: to hit up wonderful. Well, we have one caller today.

434
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,680
Speaker 1: Her name's Sabrina and she says, dear Chelsea, my name

435
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,560
Speaker 1: is Sabrina and I'm twenty four years old from New Jersey.

436
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,120
Speaker 1: I came out to myself as queer in twenty nineteen,

437
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 1: to my friends and sister in early and then to

438
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 1: my parents in the middle of My parents were initially supportive,

439
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 1: telling me they would love me quote no matter what,

440
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 1: but quickly became dismissive, pointing out men they wish I

441
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,440
Speaker 1: would date, which was really hard on me. It took

442
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 1: so much courage to come out in the first place.

443
00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:01,880
Speaker 1: I started dating my first girlfriend in September and decided

444
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:03,720
Speaker 1: to try and reach out to my parents to talk

445
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,520
Speaker 1: about my sexuality and see if I felt safe enough

446
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 1: to come forward about my relationship. Long story short, they

447
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 1: told me that this was my problem to deal with,

448
00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:14,080
Speaker 1: not theirs, and that they did not want to know

449
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:17,479
Speaker 1: anything pertaining to that aspect of my life. It's been

450
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,040
Speaker 1: hard for me to deal with both the fact that

451
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,920
Speaker 1: my parents will not provide me with the support, acceptance,

452
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 1: and safe space that I had before I came out,

453
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:26,720
Speaker 1: as well as not being able to give my girlfriend

454
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 1: everything her family has given me, which is nothing but

455
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:32,919
Speaker 1: open arms and love. Last I talked to them, they

456
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 1: asked me to write down everything I needed from them

457
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,440
Speaker 1: and they would tell me if it's something they could

458
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,199
Speaker 1: give me. I tried to make them understand why the

459
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 1: way they are going about this is simply sucked up

460
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,359
Speaker 1: and doesn't need to be this hard, But I'm still

461
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:47,639
Speaker 1: struggling to find the right words as well as a

462
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 1: reason for why they've reacted in such a negative way.

463
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:53,640
Speaker 1: Everyone I have come out to thus far has been

464
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:57,119
Speaker 1: nothing but loving, supportive, and proud of me. Please help

465
00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:03,120
Speaker 1: Sabrina and she's here with us on the phone. Okay, Hi, Sabrita, Hi,

466
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,159
Speaker 1: it's so nice to meet you, by the way. And

467
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 1: Martha Thrett like, what I know, surprise, surprise, surprise. Well,

468
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 1: I'm sort of surprised about your parents. Yeah, it's it's

469
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 1: been pretty hard, I think, just especially since all of

470
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 1: my friends and like literally everyone else I've come out

471
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 1: to has been so supportive. I was taken aback for sure. Well,

472
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 1: other than going to Chelsea, have you gone to a

473
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 1: psychiatrist to work this out with your parents? Oh? Yeah,

474
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 1: I joined a support group with other queer folks. I

475
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 1: have gone to a few therapists. They all just teld

476
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,400
Speaker 1: me to like keep pushing forward, keep reaching out, kind

477
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 1: of rip off the band aid, do everything I can.

478
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 1: So that's kind of what I've been doing. But I

479
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 1: understand she has a different perspective and ACROSSSS, so kind

480
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,680
Speaker 1: of giving her time I think has been the best

481
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 1: that she needs. But I still feel like I'm not

482
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:04,479
Speaker 1: getting anything back from her. From your mom, yeah, my mom,

483
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 1: I mostly have like the most emotional connection with my mom.

484
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 1: My dad is like the sit back, I'm going to

485
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,880
Speaker 1: support you silently kind of person. So it doesn't feel

486
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 1: natural for me to like want to go to him first,

487
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,639
Speaker 1: which is also an issue that that I have. Yeah,

488
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 1: I think what you're describing is just going to take

489
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: some time, you know, And I think you should go

490
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,360
Speaker 1: where the love is and when you have a support

491
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 1: of welcoming family on your girlfriend's side, dive into that

492
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 1: and lean into that during this time, because that's kind

493
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,439
Speaker 1: of the support you need. And you're taking care of

494
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 1: yourself and that's never wrong. Looking out for yourself and

495
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,080
Speaker 1: standing up for yourself and being honest and forthright to

496
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:46,679
Speaker 1: the people you love about what you care about and

497
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 1: what you want in this life and your sexual identity

498
00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:52,399
Speaker 1: and all of that is important. So as long as

499
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,919
Speaker 1: you're being honest with yourself, then nobody can hold anything

500
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,920
Speaker 1: against you. Those are their issues that they're going to

501
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 1: have to overcome. You can keep in contact with them

502
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: and reach out and stuff, but it's it's going to

503
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 1: be their own kind of journey. And in the meantime,

504
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:07,640
Speaker 1: you know, you should focus and go where the love

505
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 1: is and just enjoy your time with your girlfriend, enjoy

506
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,560
Speaker 1: her family. You can get things from them that you're

507
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:16,120
Speaker 1: not getting from your own family. And I guarantee you

508
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,679
Speaker 1: your mother will come around. You're her daughter, you know,

509
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,959
Speaker 1: unless she's some evil, demonic wizard, like she's gonna come around.

510
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,440
Speaker 1: She's gonna miss you, and she's gonna want to be

511
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 1: a part of your life. Yeah, it's just for me specifically.

512
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 1: It's been hard because I am such an EmPATH and

513
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 1: I do. I have a hard time moving forward with

514
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 1: things if I know that I don't have acceptance from

515
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 1: my parents. So just like me, that's naturally who I am.

516
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 1: And I've kind of talked to my mom about this

517
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 1: because she has been the type of person who's like,

518
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 1: I don't care what anyone thinks, Like, I'm gonna do

519
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 1: what I want that makes me happy. But that's just

520
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 1: not who I am. Like, if I know that you

521
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 1: love me and I care about your opinion, it's hard

522
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 1: for me to like accept that it hasn't really progressed.

523
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: But that's not an EmPATH. That's interdependency. An EmPATH is

524
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,679
Speaker 1: just feeling what other people are going through. Relying on

525
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 1: other people's opinions of you is codependency or interdependency, So

526
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,359
Speaker 1: those two things have to be delineated in your mind.

527
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 1: Those aren't the same thing. You know, and you're relying

528
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 1: on your mother's acceptance of you. Like, if every single

529
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 1: one of us had to rely on someone else's acceptance,

530
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,160
Speaker 1: none of us would be accepted. That's the most important

531
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,480
Speaker 1: in your life. That's your attachment figure. It's your mom.

532
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,960
Speaker 1: You said you have the most emotional connection to her,

533
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,960
Speaker 1: So that's why you're affected by this. I know it's difficult,

534
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 1: but you have to learn a way to move through

535
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 1: this period of time without relying on her approval because

536
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:49,199
Speaker 1: you don't have it, and you're not going to do

537
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 1: anything to convince her to give it to you, except

538
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,480
Speaker 1: by living your life and demonstrating your happiness and your

539
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:59,119
Speaker 1: self love. You know, for yourself, you respecting yourself is

540
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 1: the only way to get a people to respect you. Yeah.

541
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,879
Speaker 1: So she's also told me that she doesn't want me

542
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 1: to like come out. So I have a younger brother.

543
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 1: He doesn't know anything about this, and she's kind of

544
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:15,360
Speaker 1: making me wait. She doesn't want me to tell my family,

545
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:19,119
Speaker 1: which I feel like I'm ready to do, but I

546
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 1: also don't want to betray her in that aspect. But

547
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 1: now it's kind of like I'm getting to the point

548
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 1: where I don't care how old is your brother. My

549
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:35,199
Speaker 1: brother is seventeen, he's he's in high school, right, What

550
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 1: are your thoughts on that, Martha? Do you I think

551
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 1: your brother is old enough to hear your truth. It's

552
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 1: your story, like she doesn't get to write it for you. Yeah.

553
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 1: I am so bad at things like this. If you

554
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 1: inter relationships interpersonal, I'm horrible. This. Don't ask me to

555
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 1: call it like maybe the alone. She's like, I'm just

556
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,480
Speaker 1: gonna be in my garden. Okay, that's where I don't

557
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 1: have to get involved with anybody's personal affairs. I mean

558
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 1: in our family there every kind of person, so we're

559
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 1: used to it. Yeah, and I guess in your mother's

560
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 1: family there, she's not used to differences. Yeah, they're They're Jewish,

561
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: they have tradition. It's weird though Jews are pretty inclusive,

562
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:23,080
Speaker 1: you know, of everybody, especially gay people. Well yeah, because

563
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 1: Jews are a marginalized group in their own rights. So

564
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 1: I mean usually I grew up in a very Jewish

565
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 1: community and they were welcoming to everybody. But you know,

566
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 1: you telling your brother's your decision. Obviously, he's seventeen years old,

567
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 1: he's old enough to hear it, and you lying to

568
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 1: your brother is really just paving the way for him

569
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 1: to be upset with you down the road for not

570
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:43,560
Speaker 1: being forthright. And I think it would be in your

571
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 1: best interest to also maybe instead of talking to your

572
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 1: mother directly, maybe composing an email where you could really

573
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 1: write down everything you want to say. And that she's

574
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 1: basically asking you to lie about your truth. She's not

575
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:58,480
Speaker 1: accepting who you're saying you are, and that's so disrespectful

576
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:01,400
Speaker 1: to you, and it's really kind of like slowing down

577
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 1: your process of growing. And her opinion is never going

578
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 1: to change the truth of the matter, and that's that

579
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 1: you're gay and that you love women and that you

580
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 1: have a girlfriend that you love. You know, like that's

581
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,479
Speaker 1: never going to change. So I think it would behoove

582
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 1: you to think about writing that down in a letter

583
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 1: to her and saying, you know, I need you to

584
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:21,600
Speaker 1: think about all the things I say and then come

585
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 1: back to me when you're in a state of acceptance

586
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 1: and reception instead of reactivity. Yeah, for sure, I will

587
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 1: definitely do that. Take your mom to a therapist with

588
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 1: you if you'd go. I've been trying for so many years,

589
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 1: you don't even know. Yeah, she hears Martha say it,

590
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 1: Hopefully she will. Yeah, just yea, record this part of

591
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 1: the episode and just play it back to your mother. Yea. Well,

592
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 1: thank you so much, Sabrina. Let us know how it goes. Okay, oh,

593
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:54,959
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Love. Likewise, thanks Sabrina, Bye bye.

594
00:30:55,800 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 1: You get some heavy stuff here. It gets pretty heavy. Yeah,

595
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:02,320
Speaker 1: I just have to answer questions like how to scramble

596
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 1: an egg. Yeah, well I could use that information as well.

597
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,719
Speaker 1: Luckily no one's calling me asking me how to scramble

598
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 1: that egg, because it would be one hot mess. I

599
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 1: don't think I've ever scrambled eggs without having to throw

600
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 1: the pan away after the whole man. Yeah, basically. Well,

601
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:26,040
Speaker 1: our next question comes from single white female. She's fifty seven.

602
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 1: She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm fifty seven and still single.

603
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 1: I've embraced being single more than ever, and truly have

604
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 1: never been one to have to have a man in

605
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 1: my life. My parents divorced when I was three, and

606
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 1: I'm an only child. I swore I would never get

607
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,480
Speaker 1: married unless I was sure it was right, and would

608
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,920
Speaker 1: not have children unless I was in a happy marriage.

609
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 1: Well that's my fate as it stands now. I've had

610
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 1: several long term relationships and lived with two of my boyfriends.

611
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 1: My last relationship ended in I feel anxious about dating

612
00:31:58,080 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: and have a really hard time being open to any

613
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 1: one or feeling attracted to most men I meet. Trying

614
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 1: the dating sites, but I hate them. I'm pretty fit, petite,

615
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 1: and was blessed with decent jeans. Not to sound vain

616
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 1: or anything, because I'm pretty modest, but I just have

617
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 1: a younger look and attitude. I'm feeling embarrassed about being

618
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,640
Speaker 1: fifty seven and being still single. The past few years

619
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 1: of the pandemic and living in a relatively new area

620
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 1: have left me experiencing more solitude than I could ever imagine.

621
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 1: I get in my loner, only child state and find

622
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 1: the idea of having someone in my life constantly to

623
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 1: be frightening and overwhelming, leaving a little space for hope,

624
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 1: though of course I know you don't have a crystal ball.

625
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 1: But will I ever find a partner in this world

626
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 1: who I can deal with and who treats me with

627
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 1: the respect and love that I want? Will this anxiety

628
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 1: go away? I'm sincerely feeling a bit odd and alone

629
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 1: in the world. My mom never remarried and stopped dating

630
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 1: in her forties, and I don't want to end up

631
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 1: like her. My dad found love at seveny I got married,

632
00:32:56,120 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 1: so obviously it can always happen, right, ps how is

633
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 1: too young to consider? I'm embarrassed to like guys know

634
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 1: my age. Even on some levels, I should be proud

635
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 1: yours truly single white female, single white female. Wow, they

636
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 1: really open their hearts to you. I know, I know

637
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,400
Speaker 1: you are a trusted soul. What do you think about

638
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:22,240
Speaker 1: single dom in your fifties, Martha, Well, she's lucky. She's

639
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 1: had a lot of relationships, it sounds like, so she

640
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like she's in terrible trouble. I have no

641
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 1: idea about dating sites. I tried that for a while.

642
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:35,360
Speaker 1: I mean, what's actually when did you try plenty of fish? No,

643
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 1: I went out with three different people, and the algorithm

644
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 1: doesn't fit me, doesn't fit you. Well, I mean you're

645
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:45,320
Speaker 1: a special situation, Martha. I'm an odd situation, so so

646
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 1: are you. Yeah, that's true dating. But I found my

647
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 1: guy at forty six, So not on a dating site. No,

648
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 1: not on a dating site, but I was on dating

649
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 1: sites and I was definitely having sex through dating sites

650
00:33:56,080 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 1: because well, I thought that's what they were for. And yeah,

651
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 1: like there are so many. First of all, if you

652
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 1: really don't want to be single, first stop saying that

653
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 1: you're embarrassed of your age. You're not. You can't be

654
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:09,320
Speaker 1: embarrassed of your age. That's who you are. You're fifty

655
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 1: seven years old. Own it. So start with that, some

656
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 1: positive affirmations every morning, being happy about that, the fact

657
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,880
Speaker 1: that you're still alive at fifty seven, and that you're healthy,

658
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 1: and that you look good and you you're you seem

659
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 1: to feel good about yourself. I mean, well, she said,

660
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know how good she feels about herself,

661
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:27,800
Speaker 1: because she kept saying she was embarrassed with things about herself.

662
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 1: She's embarrassed he's single. She's embarrassed he's fifty seven. But

663
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:32,719
Speaker 1: then she says, she looks good, she's petite, and she's

664
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:36,839
Speaker 1: in good shape. You know, she's okay. She's okay, So

665
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:39,719
Speaker 1: go out, you know, just go out a few more

666
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 1: times with different people. Yeah, you've got to exercise the

667
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:44,839
Speaker 1: muscle of going out. So get down those whether it's

668
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,359
Speaker 1: match dot Com or plenty of Fish or I don't

669
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,360
Speaker 1: know what the hell all the websites are now to

670
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 1: know about plenty of Fish have you heard about popol

671
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 1: singles dot com. If you're looking for black guys, that's

672
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 1: a good site. There's plenty there's something for everybody. For

673
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 1: Jewish people, ball, I don't want to fish, Sure, well,

674
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:05,759
Speaker 1: I think Plenty of Fish isn't actually about fish, but there.

675
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,240
Speaker 1: I once put my makeup artists on a dating site

676
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:11,760
Speaker 1: called shoot what was it? And it was for fishermen?

677
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 1: And it was it was misleading, and I was like,

678
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 1: I was like, why is every person holding a like

679
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 1: a bass in every picture? I'm like, who are they

680
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 1: looking for? Other fisherman? Like? Who are they looking for

681
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 1: female fisherman? And then I was like, oh, this is

682
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:27,560
Speaker 1: a fishing website, Like this is for people who fish

683
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:29,839
Speaker 1: and that want to meet each other. But get out

684
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 1: there and practice the exercise of dating, practice the exercise

685
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:36,759
Speaker 1: of being very owning who you are, that you are

686
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:39,879
Speaker 1: fifty seven. Yes, everyone's going through a weird time coming

687
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 1: out of COVID. I mean even people who have big

688
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:45,280
Speaker 1: social lives. I'm assuming you do too, because you entertain

689
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:48,239
Speaker 1: a lot. It's weird. Everyone feels a little bit off

690
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 1: and it's hard to get back in. But the longer

691
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,600
Speaker 1: you wait, the harder it's going to be. So it's

692
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 1: better just to take the first step and then you

693
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,720
Speaker 1: know it'll flow more easily once you get back into

694
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 1: practice and go on dates as an exercise. Don't even

695
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:03,320
Speaker 1: go on them thinking, oh, this is gonna be this

696
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 1: great love. Like if he's not the perfect thing that

697
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,640
Speaker 1: you're looking for, or he's not handsome enough, or he's

698
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:10,839
Speaker 1: not thin enough or whatever you're into. If he's not

699
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 1: meeting your requirements, who gives a ship? Just start going

700
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:16,080
Speaker 1: on dates to practice going on dates so that you

701
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:20,279
Speaker 1: get more comfortable with introducing yourself, telling your story and

702
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 1: being proud of you who you are, because you know,

703
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 1: you just said a bunch of great things about yourself

704
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 1: and then a couple negatives. So just get into the

705
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 1: practice of saying more positive and less negative and no

706
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 1: negative if you can. I don't think it's hard. I

707
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 1: think there are so many people out there that are

708
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:39,799
Speaker 1: looking for a partner, men and women and everything in

709
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 1: between on the spectrum. People are looking, and so you'll

710
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 1: be surprised that you know, you think you're alone, but

711
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:52,279
Speaker 1: you're never alone. Martha and I are alone. That's loneliness. Yeah,

712
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:54,839
Speaker 1: just be happy you're not famous and everybody knows your

713
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,759
Speaker 1: personality before you go on a date. Okay, think of that,

714
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:01,920
Speaker 1: think of that before you go on date. Yes, I'm

715
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 1: sure the everyone just assumes exactly what you're going to be,

716
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:07,319
Speaker 1: like if you're on a first date for both of you, well,

717
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 1: I mean it's imagine if you go on a date,

718
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 1: like you're always presenting, even if you're not a celebrity,

719
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 1: you're presenting what you think that you should be, right,

720
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 1: you're not being completely honest about yourself. And then when

721
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:22,839
Speaker 1: you're a celebrity, it's like you're almost presenting what you

722
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 1: think people think about you in a sense, like it's

723
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 1: a it's even more of a trick, and you're like, wait,

724
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 1: this doesn't feel authentic or real, even though as a

725
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 1: famous personality or as a like celebrity, I know what

726
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,560
Speaker 1: people think about me mostly is true. Like I'm not

727
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 1: putting on an act. This is pretty much who I

728
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 1: am all the time. And I don't think you're really

729
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 1: putting on an act either, Absolutely, am not. No, she's

730
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,000
Speaker 1: not putting on an act, and she's not trying to

731
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 1: pret she's not trying to impress anybody, that's for sure.

732
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:55,800
Speaker 1: So I would just say get out there Okay, a

733
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,120
Speaker 1: single white female. Let us know how it goes. Let

734
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:00,879
Speaker 1: us know if and when you find love. We'll take

735
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 1: a quick break right now and we'll come right back

736
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 1: with Martha and Chelsea. And we're back with Martha and Chelsea.

737
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,440
Speaker 1: Martha just taught me how to make an omelet, and

738
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 1: you didn't burn the pan. No, it's still stuck on

739
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 1: the side of the wall. We things got a little

740
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:25,319
Speaker 1: carried away in the break. Sorry, well, Martha. This is

741
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 1: the part of the show where we usually ask if

742
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:31,319
Speaker 1: our guests have any piece of advice they'd like to

743
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 1: ask Chelsea, or you can give me a piece of advice.

744
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 1: It's Martha. We can make an I can ask for advice,

745
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 1: or I can give you a piece of advice. Well,

746
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 1: I was I was lying on the massage table two

747
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:52,680
Speaker 1: days ago, and I asked my messur about you, and

748
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:55,839
Speaker 1: he said, oh, I really like her. I watched aller

749
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 1: shows and I know, I know we're pretty well because

750
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 1: he knew he knew you a lot better than I

751
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:04,480
Speaker 1: knew you. And he said, how does a comedian change

752
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 1: there their acts so often? You've changed your act, and

753
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:14,239
Speaker 1: so he wanted to know why, why you've felt the

754
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 1: need to change your act. Yeah, I just think it's

755
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:19,880
Speaker 1: an evolution. Like you know, you go through different phases

756
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 1: in your life. You want to tackle different subjects, and

757
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 1: you also you have to you shoot a special and

758
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,439
Speaker 1: then that materials out there, so you have to begin

759
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:30,920
Speaker 1: again and then you like, you know, the hour. I

760
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,759
Speaker 1: just shot my next special in Nashville, like three nights ago,

761
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,800
Speaker 1: and it's a completely different set. But it's all about

762
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:41,959
Speaker 1: It's about being single, starting in COVID kind of giving

763
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 1: up on men and thinking, oh, I'll either become a

764
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:48,879
Speaker 1: late stage lesbian or I will just be single, and

765
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:52,480
Speaker 1: I'll do that because why why a late stage lesbian?

766
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 1: Why are you attracted to women enough to know? But

767
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:58,399
Speaker 1: then you were just becoming so disappointing that I just thought,

768
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,279
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, they're all it is becoming unfuckable. So

769
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 1: I thought, I'm going to have to transition. There's a

770
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,960
Speaker 1: mass exodus of adults onset lesbian as I'm happening. So

771
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:08,719
Speaker 1: I called my sister and I asked her if she

772
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:11,399
Speaker 1: wanted to get a farm in Maine together, and she said,

773
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,279
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in a relationship with you romantically,

774
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 1: So I canceled that plan, and so it's kind of

775
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:19,760
Speaker 1: my journey of coming out of COVID and then meeting

776
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 1: Joe Koy, who's my boyfriend now, who I've known for years,

777
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,760
Speaker 1: but I didn't meet him online. He's been an old friend,

778
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 1: which is the best way to go. If you could

779
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 1: ever hook up with one of your friends, that's the way,

780
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:31,799
Speaker 1: because this has been the most healthy relationship I've been

781
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 1: in and just the sweetest straight hetero sexual MEA. Yeah,

782
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 1: but he's Filipino, so he's marginalized, and that's why, like

783
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 1: those kinds of men I think are a little bit

784
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:44,839
Speaker 1: more apt to understand women and the kind of dynamics

785
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 1: marginalized because he's Filipino. Well, he's a minority, so there's

786
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,799
Speaker 1: a whole different mentality than being with a straight white guy,

787
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:53,359
Speaker 1: is what I'm saying. Straight white guys are a little

788
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,400
Speaker 1: bit out of style. No offense to the one sitting

789
00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:58,120
Speaker 1: right across from me, But you know, with the last

790
00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:00,600
Speaker 1: five years everything we've learned, it just seems white men

791
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 1: have a have a slow learning curve. They don't seem

792
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: to understand or grasp the situation that they have been

793
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 1: you're a generalist, Yeah, yeah, I am I mean it's pretty,

794
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:14,280
Speaker 1: but you know that's enough. It's the generalization is true.

795
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:16,720
Speaker 1: You know, there's enough men out there that have abused

796
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:19,600
Speaker 1: their positions of power, that have taken advantage of women,

797
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 1: whether it's in the workplace, whether it's out of the workplace.

798
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 1: You know, women are capable of doing the same thing too,

799
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,719
Speaker 1: but not to the degree in which men have. And

800
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 1: so I you know, I resent the resistance of that conversation.

801
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 1: I resent when men go whoa, you know, and it's

802
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 1: like there's no argument. Really, it's it's happens over and

803
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 1: over again. You're in a position of power, so you

804
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:44,000
Speaker 1: are of a different experience, you know, but because you're

805
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 1: a woman running your own empire. But you know, many

806
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 1: women aren't running their own empires and have to put

807
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:51,719
Speaker 1: up with men and and you know, telling them what

808
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:53,719
Speaker 1: to do and what's best, da da da, and that

809
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: it becomes old fast. So anyway, changing material all the

810
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:00,879
Speaker 1: time is kind of part and are so of being

811
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 1: a comedian. You have an hour, you work on it

812
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:07,040
Speaker 1: for about a year. You do about a hundred shows. Tonight,

813
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 1: I'm going to port Chester, New York. You were, yeah,

814
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I have a show there. Tonight and tomorrow night.

815
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:15,799
Speaker 1: I have two shows there. So what part of New

816
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:19,240
Speaker 1: York is that west Chester? It's oh, it is west Chester,

817
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:23,640
Speaker 1: port Chester. Somebody said I have to pronounce it point Chester. No.

818
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:25,920
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't think I'm going to do that,

819
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 1: but anyway, I guess that answer. Does that answer my

820
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:33,279
Speaker 1: stand up question? I think from your monsieur, well, yeah,

821
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 1: tell him I'd like a massage after my show to

822
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 1: swing by. Okay, he's good. Okay, Well, thank you so

823
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,960
Speaker 1: much Martha for being here today and helping doll out advice.

824
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:45,720
Speaker 1: Thank you. And I'm just in awe about the questions

825
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:49,040
Speaker 1: that you get. Yeah, I know, I know. Really people

826
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 1: are needy. They are, well, yeah needy. Don't realize that

827
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 1: when you're doing the kinds of questions and you ask Martha,

828
00:42:56,160 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 1: don't get questions like that and so long. Yes, these

829
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:06,400
Speaker 1: are the cut down versions, Martha. Wow, these are the

830
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 1: abridged versions. Yes, yeah, thank you Martha. Thanks Martha, thank you.

831
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 1: So if you'd like to ask Chelsea a question, email

832
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 1: us at Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com