WEBVTT - MFM Minisode 486 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:19.440 Hello and welcome my favorite murder. 0:00:19.960 --> 0:00:22.200 This is the minisode, Yes it is. This is the 0:00:22.239 --> 0:00:24.360 minisode doing this for years. 0:00:24.440 --> 0:00:25.160 It's fine. 0:00:25.320 --> 0:00:27.640 We know what we're doing, and we always. 0:00:27.280 --> 0:00:30.600 Have trust us. Trust us with your life. 0:00:30.680 --> 0:00:32.760 We're and your emails which you sent to us. 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:34.440 As she did, and we're going to read them. Good job, 0:00:34.479 --> 0:00:35.400 good intro, Thanks so much. 0:00:35.440 --> 0:00:36.080 You want to go first? 0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:37.640 This is for Mother's Day? 0:00:38.000 --> 0:00:42.559 Oh yes, So we're doing kind of an unconventional salute 0:00:42.600 --> 0:00:47.120 to motherlike figures or mother's or mother's situation. 0:00:46.720 --> 0:00:48.960 The way they've shown up for you in different ways. 0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:51.440 In any way a mother or a mother like figure 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:54.600 can't No, one's going to check this. We can do 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:55.760 it anyway we want to. 0:00:56.280 --> 0:01:01.160 Okay. This one is Tram, a fan call member named Aaron, 0:01:01.440 --> 0:01:07.320 and it starts Sadako made my childhood better, my adolescence tolerable, 0:01:07.400 --> 0:01:11.960 and my adulthood enjoyable. My uncle's mother in law. Sadako 0:01:12.480 --> 0:01:17.240 a tiny, feisty, funny Japanese woman who who brooked no 0:01:17.400 --> 0:01:19.000 shit from anyone something. 0:01:19.240 --> 0:01:25.040 Yeah brooke, Well it's brooken. Something that's like an old 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:26.160 fashioned saying brook. 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:30.520 No, Uh, what's it called? Quarter? Yes? Really? 0:01:30.840 --> 0:01:31.440 I think so. 0:01:31.840 --> 0:01:36.440 Definitely that's purely from yeah, who brooked no shit from anyone? 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:39.080 Made my life so much better. She says, this is 0:01:39.120 --> 0:01:41.280 the mother in law of her uncle, which is like 0:01:41.400 --> 0:01:43.399 so random and you don't even have to be nice 0:01:43.440 --> 0:01:43.880 to that first. 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:46.240 But she's yes, exactly, But those are the people that 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:48.480 at like the family functions where you're like, I need 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:51.559 to go sit by Sadako because she's totally okay. 0:01:51.600 --> 0:01:53.880 She would slip me candy, clean the glass door so 0:01:54.040 --> 0:01:56.800 well I walked into them more than once. Made me 0:01:56.840 --> 0:01:59.520 feel seen and encouraged me to live my life before 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:03.840 doing any anything my other relatives expected of me, i e. Marriage, children, 0:02:03.880 --> 0:02:06.400 and all that bs that was pressed upon me starting 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:08.040 at fourteen. Gross. 0:02:08.240 --> 0:02:11.320 I love that she slipped and cleaned the glass windows 0:02:11.360 --> 0:02:12.320 so we walked into them. 0:02:12.400 --> 0:02:14.000 Yeah, like that's how dedicated she was. 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:16.200 Whatever she was doing, it sounded to me like two 0:02:16.200 --> 0:02:18.560 plus's and a minus. They're hidden in there. 0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:22.840 As an adult, my home intentionally was located near hers. 0:02:23.160 --> 0:02:26.680 We would do store runs, lunches out picture all ninety 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:29.320 pounds of her eating a massive Wagoo birger the size 0:02:29.320 --> 0:02:32.800 of her face, shared treats from her family in Japan, 0:02:33.120 --> 0:02:35.720 some great and some I learned were absolutely foul as 0:02:35.800 --> 0:02:38.960 I ate it, much to her joy, and generally demanded 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:41.040 that any event I was required to attend, that I 0:02:41.040 --> 0:02:42.880 would be the one to show for her, so we 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:45.400 could bail early and just have a nice drive home 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:48.680 where we would take detours to just drive through all 0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:52.680 the green and sunshine in spring and summer. She passed 0:02:52.680 --> 0:02:55.480 April sixteenth, twenty twenty two, and I cherish the memories 0:02:55.480 --> 0:02:57.520 I have with her. While the rest of my extended 0:02:57.560 --> 0:03:00.360 family doesn't understand or even really know how much she 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:03.080 meant to me, she is still a light in my life. 0:03:03.400 --> 0:03:06.519 Pictures I have of her holding my firstborn, a daughter, 0:03:06.840 --> 0:03:09.040 and her telling me that I did everything right and 0:03:09.080 --> 0:03:11.280 that she was so proud of me and whatever I 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:15.080 did carries me through when times are hard. She is 0:03:15.160 --> 0:03:18.840 loved and missed every day. Everyone have someone like her 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:21.880 in their life. Aaron, And before we started, you were like, 0:03:22.200 --> 0:03:24.200 you're gonna create your no. No, but you said I'm 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:26.040 gonna cry, I'm gonna break, and I'm like, I don't 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:29.440 break for mothers, but this is what I want to be. 0:03:30.919 --> 0:03:33.840 I don't break for mother but this is. 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:35.760 What I want to be in someone's life. When I'm older, 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:37.520 because I don't have kids. 0:03:37.880 --> 0:03:41.200 You are with Micah, like with your nephews, I don't care, 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:43.600 but they don't. A girl, you don't act like they 0:03:43.600 --> 0:03:45.280 don't care. I mean they act like I don't care, 0:03:45.360 --> 0:03:47.600 but they do. Because that's the other thing, is I 0:03:47.640 --> 0:03:52.040 think that anti position. It's not about you giving them 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:55.840 anything they give to you and you just kind of follow. Yeah, 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:58.320 and that's the piece of it. Okay, you know. 0:03:58.280 --> 0:04:00.480 This is what I aspire to be, is sabaka sadako? 0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:05.760 Maybe all okay, break, I don't break for mine, I 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:10.400 don't break for mothers. And people are driving behind you, like, 0:04:10.440 --> 0:04:13.000 what is what is the fot her problem? 0:04:13.600 --> 0:04:13.920 Okay? 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:15.840 The subject line of this is that one time my 0:04:15.920 --> 0:04:19.920 adoptive parents stole me lighthearted and it says, I'll just 0:04:20.000 --> 0:04:22.120 jump right in. I was removed from my home when 0:04:22.120 --> 0:04:23.920 I was eight years old and raised by my aunt 0:04:23.920 --> 0:04:27.800 and uncle, who would eventually become my parents. Before this happened, 0:04:27.839 --> 0:04:30.200 though I had seen some seriously bad parenting for a 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:33.919 few years. My biological mother tried to get sober many times, 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:37.360 and during one impromptu's rehabs day, she left me at 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:41.400 her sleezy friend Lany's apartment. This woman liked pills a 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:45.360 lot and frequently fell asleep while driving me around. One time, 0:04:45.400 --> 0:04:47.640 she thought she was parked and took her foot off 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:50.120 the break and we slowly crept down a small hill 0:04:50.160 --> 0:04:53.520 into oncoming traffic. I got to save the day that day, 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:59.520 eight years old. I mean, I don't ever remember telling 0:04:59.520 --> 0:05:02.400 anyone all the crazy shenanigans this lady got us into. 0:05:02.440 --> 0:05:06.560 But somehow my badass aunt an RN knew I wasn't safe. 0:05:07.080 --> 0:05:09.200 She came up with a sneaky plan that I never 0:05:09.279 --> 0:05:12.240 knew about until years later, when she nostalgically asked me, 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:15.640 remember that time I stole you from Lany's. I did 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:19.480 remember being there for an entire summer, but couldn't remember details. 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:21.920 Her plan was to tell Lanie that they were having 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:23.960 a birthday party for my cousin and she would pick 0:05:23.960 --> 0:05:26.200 me up and they could make arrangements to return me 0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:29.240 after the party. Later that day, Laney called to ask 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:31.200 if I was ready to be picked up, and my 0:05:31.320 --> 0:05:34.320 aunt answered with a simple no, thanks, We've got it 0:05:34.320 --> 0:05:36.680 from here and never brought me back. 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:40.880 Oh my god, okay, it's going to get me. 0:05:41.040 --> 0:05:43.320 I had no idea any of this went on, since 0:05:43.360 --> 0:05:45.680 I was used to being shuffled around and these people 0:05:45.720 --> 0:05:49.279 seemed nice. My aunt, who eventually became my adoptive mother 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:51.800 ssdgmed and got me the. 0:05:51.960 --> 0:05:52.560 F out of there. 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:57.440 Stay sexy and when in doubt, steal your niece. Side note, 0:05:57.760 --> 0:06:03.120 I realized I was one of the lucky ones. Hold on, God, 0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:05.240 damn it, this is what this whole thing is about. 0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:08.719 I know the people who understand how at risk children 0:06:08.800 --> 0:06:10.880 can be, even when it's not the worst. 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:12.560 Totally situation totally. 0:06:13.640 --> 0:06:15.200 I realized I was one of the lucky ones. I 0:06:15.279 --> 0:06:17.120 was not one of the many children who have to 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:20.480 gather their belongings in trash bags and be thrown into 0:06:20.480 --> 0:06:23.880 a scary situation. I'm forever grateful and pay it forward 0:06:23.920 --> 0:06:25.839 whenever I can. Love you all. 0:06:26.320 --> 0:06:29.440 Sarah, Oh my god, Sarah. 0:06:28.960 --> 0:06:33.479 Sarah and her badass aunt. That's just like nanwa. Yeah, 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:36.919 it's gorgeous, so good. 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:43.160 Okay, this is wedding dress treasure, dear fellow la peoples 0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:45.600 and creatures. In two thousand and eight, my mom was 0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:50.839 diagnosed with mesothelioma, that bitch of a cancer caused by asbestos. Horrible. 0:06:50.960 --> 0:06:53.719 She underwent chemotherapy and refused to lose a single hair 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:56.080 on her head because she was too stubborn and vain 0:06:56.200 --> 0:06:56.440 for that. 0:06:56.520 --> 0:06:56.760 Shit. 0:06:57.320 --> 0:06:58.280 How did she do that? 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:01.720 I don't know. Wow, that's amazing, Like. 0:07:01.680 --> 0:07:02.680 I'm not doing it well. 0:07:02.720 --> 0:07:05.400 Her long term prognosis wasn't great. She was doing pretty 0:07:05.440 --> 0:07:08.599 well and underwent cancer related surgery in February two thousand 0:07:08.640 --> 0:07:10.840 and nine. The exhortation was for her to come through 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:12.800 the surgery, and my siblings and I were planning on 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:15.680 taking turns caring for her after the surgery back in 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:19.200 our hometown in Pennsylvania. The things didn't go as planned, 0:07:19.440 --> 0:07:21.880 and she died from complications from the surgery on her 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:25.280 sixty ninth birthday, so we ended up unexpectedly planning a 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:27.880 funeral and packing up her house. In the weeks following 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:30.280 her death, I was going through a cardboard box of 0:07:30.320 --> 0:07:32.920 photos from the sixties, and at the bottom of the box, 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:35.640 under all these photos there was a crumpled up plastic 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:39.200 bag with what looked like a lace tablecloth. My mother 0:07:39.280 --> 0:07:41.560 was exceedingly organized, so it was odd to have something 0:07:41.600 --> 0:07:43.720 stuffed randomly in there, but I pulled it out to 0:07:43.760 --> 0:07:46.080 see what it was. I shook it out, took it 0:07:46.160 --> 0:07:48.240 out of the plastic bag and was surprised to see 0:07:48.280 --> 0:07:50.560 that it was her wedding dress from when she married 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:54.640 my father in nineteen sixty five. White dress, knee length 0:07:54.760 --> 0:07:58.320 Empire waste with long lace sleeves, one that Georgia would love. 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:00.600 And I have a photo of it and it looks 0:08:00.920 --> 0:08:03.360 identical to fucking going My actual wedding fits for real, 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:06.400 pretty much, not a stain on it, not a tear, 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:09.600 not a riff, basically in perfect condition, despite being stored 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:12.600 in the worst way for over forty years. I tried 0:08:12.600 --> 0:08:15.000 it on because, of course, and it fit me perfectly 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:19.040 sweet right. But it was especially meaningful because right before 0:08:19.120 --> 0:08:21.400 her surgery I had told my mom on the phone 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:23.520 that my boyfriend and I were looking for a house 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:26.640 and were planning on getting married. My first marriage had 0:08:26.680 --> 0:08:28.960 gone down in flames, and the fact that I was 0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:31.600 getting remarried to a man who loved me and my 0:08:31.680 --> 0:08:35.800 two young daughters made her incredibly happy. According to my sister, 0:08:36.000 --> 0:08:38.400 she was singing going to the chapel when she came 0:08:38.440 --> 0:08:42.120 out of the surgery. In twenty ten, ten months after 0:08:42.160 --> 0:08:45.079 my mom died, I wore her perfect dress and walked 0:08:45.080 --> 0:08:47.280 with my two little girls in the backyard of our 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:50.559 new home to marry my amazing husband. I feel like 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:52.320 it was my mom's way of being at the wedding, 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:55.280 even when she couldn't be there. Below our photos of 0:08:55.320 --> 0:08:58.680 my mom Kathy and dad Dan good job, thank you 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:01.360 on their wedding day, and one of me in the 0:09:01.480 --> 0:09:05.319 dress on mine. Oh and please make those fuck you 0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:10.559 I'm remarried sweats, Oh because I need them. Why have 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:14.000 we never thought brilliant? Thanks for all you've done in 0:09:14.040 --> 0:09:17.559 so many ways SSDGM, and remember to not pack cool 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:22.440 family heirlooms and zip locked bags in cardboard boxes ever. Julie, 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:25.160 And so I think we can show the photos. Look 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:28.719 at that dress I have the Iridge, she's amazing. And 0:09:28.760 --> 0:09:30.960 then let's see that is your dress, Julie, it is. 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:32.640 It's crazy like the scallop top. 0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:35.960 Yes, oh so beautiful. I'm not trying to cut in 0:09:36.040 --> 0:09:38.320 on your thing. But that also looks like my wedding 0:09:38.400 --> 0:09:40.240 dress because I wore my really sweating dress. 0:09:40.320 --> 0:09:41.880 Yeah you were your mom wedding. 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:45.920 Yeah, and similar vibe. It was just longer, yeah, pretty, 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:49.000 so pretty. You know what, Maybe it's the thing of 0:09:49.120 --> 0:09:51.760 their like it's not the classic mother's day because her 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:54.679 mother died, right, right, But I love the idea of 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:58.960 a mother that has fucking mesothelioma. It was like trying 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:01.200 to like get through every day and is like, I 0:10:01.280 --> 0:10:03.920 have to make sure she finds this dress so she 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:08.880 sticks it in a box. Yeah, okay, So this one, 0:10:08.960 --> 0:10:11.880 the subject line is Sarahgate mother. It says, hey, folks, 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:14.840 growing up, my mother was a raging narcissist with the 0:10:14.880 --> 0:10:17.640 dead eyes and emotions of a four hundred year old shark. 0:10:18.360 --> 0:10:21.800 That wow, that's the best description I've ever heard of anyone, Like, 0:10:21.840 --> 0:10:22.920 I know what you're talking about. 0:10:23.040 --> 0:10:25.440 I mean, that's right, just get it right out there. 0:10:25.679 --> 0:10:28.640 My dad was a vodka soak guitar player, still chasing 0:10:28.679 --> 0:10:32.000 his dreams of stardom while mentally being stuck in the eighties. 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:34.520 They did their best to raise me while still being 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:37.400 kids themselves, but there was always a very deep lack 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:40.920 of emotion in our relationship, and I felt alone a lot. 0:10:41.880 --> 0:10:44.960 My childhood best friend's mother became my Sarah Gate mother. 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:48.760 Her name was Barbara. A teenager growing up in the eighties, 0:10:48.880 --> 0:10:51.719 she had the best stories. She partied with some of 0:10:51.760 --> 0:10:54.760 the musicians I was obsessed with. She encouraged me to 0:10:54.800 --> 0:10:57.320 be myself, but she also called me on my bullshit. 0:10:57.840 --> 0:11:00.719 Since the second grade, she bought me clothes and let 0:11:00.760 --> 0:11:02.960 me sleep over at her house whenever I needed a 0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:03.880 break from my own. 0:11:04.840 --> 0:11:07.920 I'm sorry, I knew it. I was reading these was like, 0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:09.240 Karen is going to fucking lose. 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:11.360 I mean it's like, A, did I not eat breakfast? 0:11:11.440 --> 0:11:14.520 But B this That's how my mom grew up because 0:11:14.520 --> 0:11:17.120 both of her parents were alcoholics, and my aunt, kay 0:11:17.480 --> 0:11:21.960 Kirkpatrick Antoni Giovanni was her best friend and she was 0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:24.040 raised by them. So when we were growing up, we 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.280 had my grandma, who he loved and was great, but 0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:29.840 then we had the Kirkpatrick's that I was always like, 0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:32.480 who are these people who are also our grandparents? Yeah? 0:11:32.559 --> 0:11:34.680 I mean I was thinking about like your friends and 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:37.000 neighbors and this person, and you call people cousins like 0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:40.000 you have a huge, huge yes. So I was like, 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:41.319 she's going to cry it every single way. 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:43.880 There's I'm going to relate to every single person. 0:11:43.880 --> 0:11:45.920 If we do a cat episode, I'll cry it every 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:47.000 single one. 0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:48.080 Uh. 0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:50.600 She even drove me all over town for an entire 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:52.880 day looking for an apartment to move into. When I 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:55.800 was seventeen, and my own mother told me she couldn't 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:58.840 afford to have me live in her house anymore. She 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:02.840 was righteously funny, sarcastic, and I loved her. She adopted 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:05.320 me as her own child, and her house became my 0:12:05.400 --> 0:12:08.199 safe space until I was almost twenty. She taught me 0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:10.880 a lot. Barbara passed away in her sleep from a 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:13.800 heart attack in her late forties in twenty eighteen. 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:15.280 That's tough. Wow. 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:18.280 Mostly I miss hearing her voice because it had a charming, 0:12:18.679 --> 0:12:21.920 calming quality to it. I found that same feeling, and 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:26.720 the voices of your podcast, Oh, God damn it wow, 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:33.880 also was on the second page. Didn't surprise hold for emotion. 0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:41.440 You both have similar voices to Barbara, and very similar 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:45.479 senses of humor. I know she would have loved your podcast, 0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:47.640 and I would have shown it to her if I'd 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:51.120 discovered it back then. Sometimes when I listened to the podcast, 0:12:51.160 --> 0:12:53.720 God damn it. Sometimes when I listen to the podcast, 0:12:54.160 --> 0:12:58.079 I can imagine what it would be like discussing current 0:12:58.120 --> 0:12:59.920 events with her if she were here. 0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:04.360 This is Oh my god, I do that all the 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:06.080 time with my mom. You do well? 0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:09.120 Yeah, she would fucking love this, so much. She would 0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:12.640 think it was amazing, like, oh my god, sorry. 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:16.640 God, you hen me. No, it's good that one of us. 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:20.200 That was like, I think this is the point of this, 0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:22.440 which is, this is what Mother's Day is like for 0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:25.360 people whose mothers are gone or who never had them 0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:28.240 in the first place. It's just what it's like. This 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:30.800 is just one of the many reasons why I love 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:33.480 what you do. It helps combat the loneliness of losing 0:13:33.520 --> 0:13:36.839 someone you care about deeply to remember them fondly, and 0:13:36.880 --> 0:13:39.560 you both help me to do that. It's truly a gift. 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:41.400 And then it just says Jazz. 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:43.480 God, I never thought of us in that way. 0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:44.000 I know. 0:13:44.120 --> 0:13:46.560 I mean, we call each other aunties all the time. 0:13:46.360 --> 0:13:51.479 But like, actually what that means? Yeah, jazz, you said Jazz. Jazz, 0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:55.439 Thanks Jazz. Thanks for making me cry on TV. Jazz 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:56.600 very unprofessional. 0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:03.319 We contain moreitudes all the tears. You also look pretty 0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:05.040 when you cry, which is fucking hard to do. I 0:14:05.040 --> 0:14:06.160 don't look pretty when I cry. 0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:09.160 That's hilarious because to me, I look like an Like 0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:11.880 the second I have emotion, my eyes turn bright red. 0:14:12.000 --> 0:14:12.640 No they don't. 0:14:13.280 --> 0:14:14.680 It always looks crazy to me. 0:14:14.960 --> 0:14:15.640 Same for me. 0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:19.640 Yeah, why are we we're criticizing our appearance while we're 0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:20.320 having an emotion. 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:21.360 That's the fun. 0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:24.800 That's old, that's nineties. Shit, it's weird. Get rid of it. 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:30.160 Yeah, okay, not all spirits like the dark is my 0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:32.440 last one? Oh, get ready to cry. Okay, if you 0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:36.880 don't cry this one, something's wrong. Hey my favorite Murderino 0:14:36.960 --> 0:14:40.600 Babes and four legged Friends. So my best friend Sierra's 0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:43.880 mom passed away unexpectedly in twenty fifteen, and it shattered 0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:47.360 everyone who knew her. She was the neighborhood mom who 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:49.640 took care of every child as if they were her own, 0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:51.960 and since I grew up with my best friend, her 0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:54.400 mother was like a second mom to me. Because of 0:14:54.400 --> 0:14:57.280 her unexpected passing, her landlord was very kind and gave 0:14:57.360 --> 0:14:59.840 us extra time to arrange her belongings and get every 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:03.480 removed from her condo. Sierra and I were finishing everything 0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:05.920 up and left only a single lamp in the house, 0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:08.840 a cheap dollar store six foot lamp shot all the 0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:11.600 lights off and locked up. When we were pulling out, 0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:14.240 we looked back at the house one last time, trying 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:16.760 to remember all the great times we shared there, and 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:18.800 noticed that the lamp that was left in her mother's 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:21.360 room was on. Thinking one of us must have not 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:24.000 flipped the switch all the way or some bullshit, I 0:15:24.080 --> 0:15:26.600 parked my truck and went back in to turn off 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:29.640 the light. This time I knew one hundred percent that 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:32.320 the light was off and continued to lock up the house. 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:36.120 When we went to leave, the light was on. At 0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:38.600 this point, we thought someone's playing a dumb prank on us, 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:41.360 so we both went in and took one last look around. 0:15:41.840 --> 0:15:44.120 Of course, the house was empty, so this time, for 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:47.440 good measure, we unplugged the lamp, and Sierra even moved 0:15:47.440 --> 0:15:50.080 the lamp away from the outlet, which was by the window, 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:52.800 to the opposite side of the room, and we closed 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:54.960 the door, thinking that it must have been some freak 0:15:54.960 --> 0:15:57.760 occurrence or that we were both just mentally exhausted from 0:15:57.760 --> 0:16:01.280 the recent events. When we walked outside, we both looked 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:03.880 up at her mother's bedroom window and saw the light 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:06.760 was off, and we laughed for a second, climbed back 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:09.720 into my truck and went to leave. When we reversed out, 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:12.800 Sierra took one last look and I saw her jaw drop. 0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:17.600 The fucking light was on again and the lamp was 0:16:17.720 --> 0:16:18.880 back by the window. 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:21.160 Whoa. 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:23.240 At that point we said fuck it and agreed that 0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:26.240 her mom prefers the lights on. Looking back, now, we 0:16:26.360 --> 0:16:28.360 laugh about it and take solace in the fact that 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:30.720 she's still with us and still finds ways to make 0:16:30.800 --> 0:16:34.240 us smile. Thank you for bearing with me through this email, 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:36.720 as I am not the best writer. That's not true. 0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:37.280 Yes you are. 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:38.560 Yeah, that was a great story. 0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:40.440 I also want to say thank you for helping people 0:16:40.520 --> 0:16:43.040 be more aware of mental illness and helping erase the 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:46.320 stigma that comes with having a mental illness. I used 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:49.040 to be so ashamed and scared of my mental illnesses, 0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:51.200 but over the years I have learned that my mental 0:16:51.240 --> 0:16:54.920 illnesses don't define me or control what I am capable of. 0:16:55.760 --> 0:16:59.680 Much love from Columbus, Ohio. Alie, Kay, Alie. 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:02.720 My mom would be so excited you say. 0:17:02.520 --> 0:17:06.520 That that's so BEAUTI yeah, totally. 0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:09.680 But also, I mean if I was in that draw 0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:11.800 in that parking lot and I looked back up, I 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:14.640 would have just been like, yeah, someone call the police 0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:16.480 or something like holy shit. 0:17:16.480 --> 0:17:18.960 No, it's so I love those little unexplained things that 0:17:19.000 --> 0:17:20.680 you're just like, of course it's what it is. 0:17:20.960 --> 0:17:23.040 Yeah, of course it's that they just need you to 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:23.520 know that. 0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:25.520 They love you. Yeah. It's like a little wink. 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:31.679 Yeah, Okay, here's my last one. It says, uh, my 0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:34.600 honorary mom is a subject line. This is high KNG. 0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:38.159 Been listening since twenty eighteen. Love you gals, et cetera. 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:42.679 My honorary mom was Missus Hamstra, my seventh grade math teacher. 0:17:43.200 --> 0:17:46.040 She helped me overcome the intense feeling of failure after 0:17:46.080 --> 0:17:49.120 a very terrible year of sixth grade math. Not only 0:17:49.200 --> 0:17:51.520 did she help in still confidence, but she taught in 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:54.480 such a way where math no longer felt hard to me. 0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:58.480 I mean, that's a great teacher. Missus Hamstra opened up 0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:00.520 her classroom to me in the early morn when I 0:18:00.560 --> 0:18:02.800 had to be dropped off at seven point thirty and 0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:06.880 school didn't start until nine to twenty. I'm a teacher now, 0:18:07.119 --> 0:18:09.280 and there's not a snowballs chance in hell i'd be 0:18:09.320 --> 0:18:10.680 at work that early. 0:18:12.520 --> 0:18:14.560 Or real. I had a teacher that let me in 0:18:14.600 --> 0:18:17.000 at lunch when I didn't have any friends and like 0:18:17.080 --> 0:18:19.360 eat lunch in her And then I didn't have lunch too, 0:18:19.359 --> 0:18:22.320 and so she gave me lunch like half a sandwich 0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:22.800 or whatever. 0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:27.119 Yeah, she listened to me laughed with me and allowed 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:30.240 me to be my weird middle school self, all while 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:33.919 encouraging and reminding me that though math was hard, I 0:18:34.040 --> 0:18:39.080 was capable. Middle school is should be illegal. It's the 0:18:39.200 --> 0:18:39.919 fucking worst. 0:18:40.000 --> 0:18:45.480 You are at your worst hormonally, physically, mentally, Like none 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:46.240 of it makes sense. 0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:49.159 There's a family picture of me, and I'm in seventh 0:18:49.200 --> 0:18:52.440 grade and I'm still wearing like those little mini ponytails, 0:18:52.520 --> 0:18:57.000 like my hair's down, but then mini ponytails and like overalls, 0:18:57.320 --> 0:18:59.679 and I was just like, I'm dressed like I'm in 0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:00.400 four It's great. 0:19:00.920 --> 0:19:03.440 You haven't figured out if you're this or that yet 0:19:03.480 --> 0:19:05.639 a grown up or a kid? Right, and then you 0:19:05.680 --> 0:19:09.040 call break recess and everyone expended to you. I mean, 0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:12.560 I was just recess fucking a year ago. The rules 0:19:12.600 --> 0:19:18.240 keep changing. Yeah, it's bullshit. Okay, fast forward a few years. 0:19:18.240 --> 0:19:20.280 Missus Hamster and I kept in touch, and I learned 0:19:20.320 --> 0:19:23.840 the devastating news that she had als. She sold all 0:19:23.840 --> 0:19:26.119 of her belongings and moved to Columbia to become an 0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:29.160 English and math teacher. She said she wanted to experience 0:19:29.200 --> 0:19:32.119