1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,520 Speaker 1: If my brother comes out as gay, he's banned from 2 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:04,840 Speaker 1: going to the wedding. Am I the a hole? It 3 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: would appear, So it seems like you're arraging a hole. 4 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:13,760 Speaker 2: It seems like you are a seems like you're a 5 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 2: kernel of the closet. You know, a protector against penis, 6 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:22,320 Speaker 2: a blocker of the cockers, the blocker of the cockers. 7 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:25,280 Speaker 2: And you know this kind of cock blocking not acceptable. 8 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 1: No no no no no no no no no no. 9 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 2: Let your brother ram into whatever cocky pleases. 10 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:36,480 Speaker 1: Your brother wants to fuck butts, Let it happen, Let 11 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:37,479 Speaker 1: it happen. 12 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 2: You hate you, You just lay it out on the table. 13 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 2: I just just like his brother wants to lay it 14 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:47,559 Speaker 2: out on the table. Loud nutshit buy him. We are 15 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:52,600 Speaker 2: we are pro on tables, that's right, or even on maps, 16 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:55,720 Speaker 2: like you know, you know that classic classic pickup line, 17 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,120 Speaker 2: Hey do you know where? You know where this is 18 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:01,360 Speaker 2: in the city? And you're like you have the map 19 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 2: in front, uh huh, and then you're just dickets on 20 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:03,640 Speaker 2: the map. 21 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:07,840 Speaker 1: That's that's I've never heard of fat who's in an 22 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:08,680 Speaker 1: office episode? 23 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 2: Ah, I see, I'm just kidding. Also, by the way, 24 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 2: just kidding, do not put your wiener on a map. 25 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,840 Speaker 1: Or or do or maybe we are heavily encouraging you. 26 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: You know, you never really know the difference on this 27 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:25,680 Speaker 1: on this podcast, on this podcast. All right, this is 28 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,679 Speaker 1: the worst thing ever. I am losing sleep over this. 29 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,680 Speaker 1: I'm getting married in a week to an awesome woman 30 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,840 Speaker 1: and I cannot wait to be her husband. 31 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:36,040 Speaker 2: We are so excited. Whoo. 32 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,040 Speaker 1: Well, you know what I can't wait for to be 33 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: you in the face. Let your brother go to the wedding. Okay, yeah, 34 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:47,680 Speaker 1: that's right. Machimony off matrimony more like slaperoni in. 35 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 2: The your face. Hod, you're dumb. 36 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:55,560 Speaker 1: Oh, Now, my brother is gay, but my family doesn't know. 37 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 2: Only me and my parents know. 38 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,840 Speaker 1: I come from a very old school trade additional family. 39 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,560 Speaker 1: So the old part of the family, the grandparents, some 40 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:07,120 Speaker 1: aunts and uncles still have a last centuries mindset, and 41 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 1: the younger portion, the cousins the siblings, are more open 42 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:13,160 Speaker 1: minded and living in the present times kind of like 43 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,640 Speaker 1: there's like a decent amount of family. Yeah, it's like 44 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 1: I'm sure each family has like there's some sort of 45 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: like progressive thing that somebody in your larger family is 46 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,920 Speaker 1: not accepting of. So my brother has been dating his 47 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:29,080 Speaker 1: boyfriend for six months now and the dude is great. 48 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 1: I'm so happy that my brother found a great guy. 49 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:36,040 Speaker 1: But it's kind of a secret and he hasn't told 50 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:37,640 Speaker 1: my family that he's gay yet. 51 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 2: So supportive? Are you? 52 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 1: You're so support such an ally? You are? Okay, let's 53 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:43,760 Speaker 1: let's let's get. 54 00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 2: To the bottom of this. Yeah, I'm based on the title, 55 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 2: I would think that you are not an ally. 56 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,200 Speaker 1: I've been telling him for years that he should come 57 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 1: out because I know it stresses him a lot, and 58 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 1: I think it will make him feel a lot better 59 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: to not have to hide anymore. Plus I bet a 60 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 1: few family member already know anyway, solid advice. Yeah, that's that, 61 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:07,280 Speaker 1: that makes sense. That makes sense. But he disagrees. He 62 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 1: knows a part of the family won't accept it and 63 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:11,360 Speaker 1: there will be a lot of drama. 64 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:12,519 Speaker 2: I see the opposite. 65 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 1: I see it as the sooner you know who the 66 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 1: idiots are, the sooner you can cut them out from 67 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 1: our lives. I have no interest in having someone in 68 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:22,959 Speaker 1: my life that doesn't accept my brother just because he's gay. Okay, 69 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 1: it seems like, oh, he's saying all the right things, 70 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 1: the fair reasoning, fair reasoning. I don't know if I 71 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:31,520 Speaker 1: would p like, it seems like he's kind of pushing 72 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,920 Speaker 1: his brother in that direction. I don't know if I 73 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:38,640 Speaker 1: would push to per se, I'll share my opinion, sure, like, hey, 74 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,040 Speaker 1: this is honestly how I how I think, but. 75 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 2: Like you don't need to keep pushing it. 76 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, anyway, that's his decision, not mine. So for now, 77 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,040 Speaker 1: he won't say anything. Until a few weeks ago, all right, 78 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,960 Speaker 1: when he said that he wants to bring his boyfriend 79 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 1: to my wedding. I was not expecting that to be honest, 80 00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 1: so he went from zero to one hundred pretty dang fast. 81 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,120 Speaker 2: Imagine that complicates the wedding event. 82 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 1: Because basically that means he's coming out at the wedding. 83 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:10,240 Speaker 1: That's essentially what it means. If it was any other occasion, 84 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 1: I would be so supportive. 85 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:16,520 Speaker 2: Obviously is it obvious? How obvious? Is it? 86 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,080 Speaker 1: A parent? 87 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,360 Speaker 2: It's just I mean, but I understand I understand from 88 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 2: op's perspective, where it's like that's probably going to create 89 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 2: like a shit ton of drama, especially if the family 90 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 2: members are are that are that homophobic. 91 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 1: Would probably be a mess. But also like these family 92 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 1: members are already fucking homophobic. Then you have the audacity 93 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:41,440 Speaker 1: to ruin the wedding because of something you didn't agree with, 94 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:45,279 Speaker 1: like insane or like cause drama calls like shut shut 95 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,719 Speaker 1: the fuck up, this is my wedding and you're not 96 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:49,599 Speaker 1: gonna say shit. 97 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:52,279 Speaker 2: About Actually a really good that's a really good point. 98 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:55,480 Speaker 2: Like I feel like op's putting the weight on the 99 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,479 Speaker 2: brother being like, hey, don't mess us up. But really 100 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:02,279 Speaker 2: it's like you've been encourage the brother to be themselves, 101 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 2: so let the brother be hisself and then chastise anyone 102 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:09,160 Speaker 2: that says different. 103 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 1: That's not even what I was saying, but that's a 104 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,280 Speaker 1: great point what we're saying. I was just saying, like, 105 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 1: like how insane it is that, like not only are 106 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 1: these family members homophobic, but they then have the additional 107 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 1: audacity to like cause drama, sped rumors, blah blah blah 108 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 1: blah blah, Like it's it's his wedding and it's his brother. 109 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,719 Speaker 1: But yeah, that's that's I mean. The tough part about 110 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:35,400 Speaker 1: that is basically the brother would have to either a 111 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,799 Speaker 1: get out ahead of it and say like my brother 112 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,160 Speaker 1: is gay. If anyone says anything, you're getting kicked out 113 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: on site, or he just does it on site and 114 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,080 Speaker 1: if he notices any drama, he's like, you gotta leave. 115 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 1: Those are really the two options. If if op wants 116 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: to like lay down the log. 117 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 2: Like Opie's brother, just take the guy and. 118 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 1: Just he could. But then the potential for the drama 119 00:05:57,279 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 1: is there, right, so. 120 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:02,599 Speaker 2: Then yeah, I have to like I don't. I don't 121 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 2: think it would be that. 122 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 1: It's also just potential drama. It's not even like saying 123 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:06,839 Speaker 1: that anything. 124 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:10,040 Speaker 2: It's like announcing it at that wedding. Like I think 125 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,480 Speaker 2: that's different. I would probably just yeah, just like I 126 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 2: wouldn't announce it that the way. I would just say, 127 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 2: like no. 128 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, just let the brother do his thing. If I 129 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,280 Speaker 1: hear a fuss from it, I would tell like everyone 130 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:22,279 Speaker 1: in like the parents and stuff, like if anyone hears 131 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: anything on site, they're getting kicked out. 132 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:25,720 Speaker 2: But that creates drama. 133 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 1: That's okay. I'm okay with that drama. But like, this 134 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: is my wedding. I don't I don't need you ruin 135 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 1: my celebration. A and then B, I don't need you 136 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,159 Speaker 1: messing with my brother, which messes with my celebration. 137 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,160 Speaker 2: Lay down that law if it was. 138 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 1: Any other occasion, I would be supportive obviously, but don't 139 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 1: think that my wedding day is the day to do that. 140 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:49,359 Speaker 1: Imagine all the drama and gossip and bs that would happen. 141 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,240 Speaker 1: And I don't want to get the attention away from 142 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,960 Speaker 1: my fiance. That's her day, and I don't want to 143 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: have to worry about that on my wedding day. And 144 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 1: I think that that is a pretty good reason. I mean, look, 145 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:04,159 Speaker 1: it's it definitely sucks that it definitely complicates things, and 146 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:07,080 Speaker 1: it definitely sucks that you potentially, like if some you know, 147 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:10,760 Speaker 1: uncle or whatever is like keeps saying stuff. You know 148 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 1: you hear him in the background, it is just just 149 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:15,760 Speaker 1: causing trying to stir shit up. It sucks, right, you 150 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 1: gotta go deal with it. Yeah, it's it's complicated. That sucks. 151 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:22,040 Speaker 1: I asked him why my wedding day, and he said 152 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: it's because he wants to celebrate love with the two 153 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,920 Speaker 1: people that he loves most, me and his boyfriend. 154 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 2: This is killing me. 155 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 1: I would fight my that's. 156 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 2: Such a like, that's such a wholesome reason. 157 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's like, gee, the only, only the purest, 158 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 1: like most heartwarming reason of all time. I would fight 159 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 1: my whole family for my brother, and never speak to 160 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,160 Speaker 1: them again if I had to. But my wedding day 161 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 1: is supposed to be a celebration, not a family fight. 162 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:51,760 Speaker 2: And I can't do this to my wife. 163 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:53,240 Speaker 1: That might ruin our future. 164 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 2: See what you're saying. 165 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 1: I don't know if it ruins your. 166 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 2: I don't know who ruins your future future. But there 167 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 2: there is a hot I think everyone can admit there 168 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:05,559 Speaker 2: is a higher percentage chance of your wedding going wrong. 169 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:06,680 Speaker 2: Yes because of this. 170 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:10,040 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, I didn't even tell my fiance. She's 171 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,320 Speaker 1: already so stressed out. I did not want to make 172 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,040 Speaker 1: it worse. With a heavy heart, I asked him to 173 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,560 Speaker 1: please come alone to the wedding and that I hope 174 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,560 Speaker 1: he understands me. He started crying and left my house 175 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:26,520 Speaker 1: without saying anything. Dude. The next day I got a 176 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 1: text and he said, don't worry going alone. I tried 177 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,440 Speaker 1: to call him, but he didn't answer me, and my 178 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,680 Speaker 1: parents don't seem to know what's happening because they didn't 179 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:38,080 Speaker 1: say anything. He eventually called back after a few days. 180 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:41,080 Speaker 1: We spoke and he said he understands my side, but 181 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 1: things are still weird between us. This is the worst 182 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:47,080 Speaker 1: situation of my life. Am I a whole for handling 183 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,120 Speaker 1: it the way I did? 184 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:53,559 Speaker 2: I mean, chicks here think so fiance though, I think 185 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 2: he's been telling his brother to accept who he is 186 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 2: for a long time and his brother's finally taking his, 187 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:04,760 Speaker 2: like op advice, hmm, it feels almost maybe a little 188 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 2: hypocritical to He's not asking to make a speak to 189 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 2: or anything. He's just like, I just want to bring 190 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 2: my boyfriend to celebrate love. It definitely is a super 191 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:16,760 Speaker 2: complicated situation. I wouldn't say that Op is an a 192 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 2: hole for it, but I would say it is not 193 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 2: the most loving and kind way to deal with this situation. No, 194 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 2: I think the most the best way to do it 195 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,000 Speaker 2: would just to be, hey, bring your bring your boyfriend. 196 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,960 Speaker 1: I think I think that's what he should have done. Like, 197 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,680 Speaker 1: it does add accept the consequences. Potentially, it does add 198 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:41,760 Speaker 1: potential drama, but like again me like anyone trying to 199 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:45,080 Speaker 1: stir up any kind of shit at my wedding, You're gone. 200 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:48,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's over, and it's like it's also like 201 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 2: your brother has is just trying to represent it the 202 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:54,680 Speaker 2: most pure, authentic version of himself. If your family members 203 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:58,160 Speaker 2: do not accept that, then they're exposing themselves you don't 204 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:00,160 Speaker 2: want in your life anyway, Like the op's saying, I 205 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:02,840 Speaker 2: want those people in my life. So yeah, you're just 206 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,560 Speaker 2: weeding people that you don't want to in your life. 207 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 1: There you go, and obviously like you know, but it 208 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,880 Speaker 1: is tough. In an ideal world, like it would have 209 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 1: been known beforehand and the family reveals themselves and you 210 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,679 Speaker 1: cut them out before. But that's not the situation we're in. 211 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 1: I think you should have I think you should have 212 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,040 Speaker 1: invited him to the wedding and just like dealt with 213 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 1: it as it come and be like, Okay, I'm just 214 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 1: I'm just not going to worry about this. I'm going 215 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 1: to enjoy my day. If anything happens, I'll take care 216 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:27,120 Speaker 1: of it. 217 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,559 Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know, I agreed, Yeah,