WEBVTT - You've Got Decisions: Dating While Broke 0:00:01.680 --> 0:00:06.960 Welcome everybody to another episode of horrible Decisions. I'm only 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:09.160 moaning because someone just mentioned that they missed the moaning, 0:00:09.240 --> 0:00:11.600 but maybe they're not on Patreon. I'm not gonna own 0:00:11.640 --> 0:00:14.040 decisions decisions. I'm your girl, Medibe. 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:15.360 I honestly thought you did moan. 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:21.920 No, na easy, I'm actually here on video. I'm I 0:00:22.040 --> 0:00:24.799 ordered so many like in stripe clothes for the tour, 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:27.600 but I was like, I'm not as well bust them 0:00:27.640 --> 0:00:30.040 out today. So whatever episodes I'll listen to in a 0:00:30.080 --> 0:00:31.960 near future, it's gonna look like I'm going to a 0:00:32.000 --> 0:00:32.560 whole job. 0:00:32.840 --> 0:00:34.559 It is given like business casual. 0:00:34.760 --> 0:00:36.800 Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna maybe I'll wear this to my 0:00:36.840 --> 0:00:39.080 meeting tomorrow. I don't know. I went to like A. 0:00:40.320 --> 0:00:42.600 It's weird because the way that we grew up, and 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:46.000 if you're in your thirties, you understand what I'm saying. 0:00:46.040 --> 0:00:49.760 Thirties and plus I'm not evenna say it's the entertainment industry. 0:00:49.840 --> 0:00:53.320 People dress different to work now, so let no, it's everywhere. 0:00:53.360 --> 0:00:56.600 Sometimes when i'm they dressed unprofessional, I hate it. Fuck, 0:00:57.040 --> 0:00:59.320 it's almost like they're going to the club the mall 0:00:59.400 --> 0:01:01.520 or just rolled out bed but like I say, like. 0:01:01.440 --> 0:01:02.200 A mall outfit. 0:01:02.320 --> 0:01:05.480 I'm definitely mall sexy for work. But I went to 0:01:06.480 --> 0:01:10.319 even fuse. I would say it's like chill, but they're 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:12.959 like TV, they're streaming, they're digital, they're all this other shits. 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:15.240 Like when I pop in there, I don't dress up 0:01:15.280 --> 0:01:18.360 too much for meetings, I will say, but any other place, 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:22.200 if they have maybe fifty to one hundred employees, they 0:01:22.200 --> 0:01:23.880 look like shit. Now, the only time I think you 0:01:23.880 --> 0:01:26.000 can look like shit is if you work in tech. 0:01:26.600 --> 0:01:31.039 Here's why, because I really do think some of these 0:01:31.040 --> 0:01:33.840 tech offices they're forcing these people to come in that 0:01:33.920 --> 0:01:36.320 we're like semi remote. They're working at the desk eight 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:38.399 to ten hours a day. They're not really front facing. 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:41.039 They're just there whatever, Like you're slamming the shit back. 0:01:41.480 --> 0:01:45.520 But somebody's motherfuckers. How you making too fifty and you 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:49.240 wear a sweatpants. I mean that's how like super rich people dress. 0:01:49.320 --> 0:01:52.920 I just think that there's a loss in professionalism across 0:01:52.920 --> 0:01:55.000 the board. Like it's funny because me and Crysal Lord 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:58.200 just talking about this because in real estate, like you're 0:01:58.240 --> 0:02:00.560 selling houses, you're meeting people, but you still have to 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:02.960 go into the office and do old calls and stuff, 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:07.560 and she was like, she was like, bro, I don't 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:10.560 get it, Like there's a clear distinction between people who 0:02:10.560 --> 0:02:13.000 clearly take this series and people who just think this 0:02:13.040 --> 0:02:15.320 is like a hobby. And she's like one of like 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:20.000 the mentors had had a group meeting and I guess 0:02:20.080 --> 0:02:23.040 made one of the girls cry because she's like, what 0:02:23.080 --> 0:02:24.960 the fuck do you think you're gonna sell dressing like 0:02:25.000 --> 0:02:27.720 this and looked at one girl was like, she looks 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:29.920 like she's gonna be able to sell a house. You 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:32.120 you probably won't be in this very long. You need 0:02:32.160 --> 0:02:33.840 to fix your hair, you need to do this. And 0:02:33.880 --> 0:02:37.240 apparently just how honest she was about how the two 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:40.000 like girls look. One of them cried. 0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:43.000 I don't know, but Crystal talked about what the people 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:46.519 have on because again, like Crystal's gonna be forty next year. 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:49.680 Well not only that, there's just a wait to dress 0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:54.880 when you go to work, but that's when we're outside 0:02:54.880 --> 0:02:57.079 I'm talking about I'm talking about I'm talking about going 0:02:57.120 --> 0:02:59.760 to work. She does dress, but you have to well 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:02.800 she never on cameras. That's where she's like, she does 0:03:02.840 --> 0:03:04.840 like the voiceover stuff. We were just talking like girl, 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:05.040 you know. 0:03:05.160 --> 0:03:07.480 But see that's what That's what I'm saying with the text. 0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:11.320 Shit that is front facing. She needs to meet with clients. 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:13.400 I'm not gonna hold you. Some people, even I remember 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:15.240 back in the day, remember in the real estate agent car. 0:03:15.280 --> 0:03:17.680 When I can hear the car, I'll be like, now, 0:03:18.320 --> 0:03:20.960 I just looked at houses with my mom to speak 0:03:21.000 --> 0:03:21.960 to the real estate experience. 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:23.720 Because my mother brought it up. I didn't. 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:26.680 We saw four open houses, so I finally decided, like 0:03:28.040 --> 0:03:31.320 renting two apartments, isdem I am here for seven days 0:03:31.360 --> 0:03:35.760 a week a month. However, I'm just like, what if 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:39.040 I just got a bigger spot, not an apartment, because 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:40.680 I feel like once we start running into each other 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:42.920 in the bathroom, maybe it won't work. So a house 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:46.440 or town, I'm like, let's have some separation. So we look, 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:51.040 we go to a house that is I'm not saying 0:03:51.040 --> 0:03:53.600 I can afford this. I just want every don't come 0:03:53.680 --> 0:03:56.040 rob meet. I like to go to any open house, 0:03:56.080 --> 0:03:58.400 as y'all know, that's my manifestation thing. I'm like, I 0:03:58.400 --> 0:04:00.680 want you to see how much houses cost me. This 0:04:00.720 --> 0:04:03.560 is one point eight and it's in Silver Lake. Then 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:05.480 we're gonna go look at something that's nine hundred thousand. 0:04:05.480 --> 0:04:06.800 I just want you to know what you can get, 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:08.720 so if you don't like the stuff that's cheaper, you 0:04:08.760 --> 0:04:12.640 can understand why. One point eight million. We meet the girl, 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:18.000 white girl that's hosting it. Cutesie button down top, the jeans, 0:04:18.000 --> 0:04:20.880 but the jeans are pressed out, nice shoe, the way 0:04:20.920 --> 0:04:27.919 that she's talking everything perfect. Next house nine hundred thousand dollars. 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:31.000 My mom joked that it went down here. There another 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:33.760 white girl. These are all white women, kind of chill outfit, 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:37.280 like little flowery dress but sweet cute, but not as professional. 0:04:37.520 --> 0:04:39.680 She wasn't saying things like well, hey, this is going 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:40.720 to pay for itself back. 0:04:40.920 --> 0:04:42.120 You need to understand that. 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:44.760 You know, there's no flooding insurance that's high here because 0:04:44.760 --> 0:04:46.400 you're a little bit lower blah blah, you don't have 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:49.360 to worry about the fires because next girl is like, 0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:52.680 oh yeah, better than running an apartment, right, bitch, we 0:04:52.680 --> 0:04:56.520 saw our house, those six could be This nigga had 0:04:56.600 --> 0:04:59.040 coffee dripping down the shirt and he goes, oh, I'm 0:04:59.040 --> 0:04:59.640 so Glorio. 0:05:00.200 --> 0:05:01.440 Oh that's my wife. 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:03.479 She looked a mess. I was thinking did she know 0:05:03.560 --> 0:05:04.080 she was coming? 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:07.640 And I was like yo. It kind of also speaks 0:05:07.680 --> 0:05:10.039 to who you're selling to. 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:13.600 It does, because for one point eight they need to 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:16.680 be making some money, Like right, you're putting down two 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:18.839 hundred thousand and three hundred thousand dollars for a home 0:05:18.920 --> 0:05:20.800 like that, Like you've got to have that capital, like 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:21.800 you're making bread. 0:05:21.839 --> 0:05:24.039 If you got that, didn't, oh bitch, once you got 0:05:24.080 --> 0:05:26.880 done six fifty, I said, this is still expensive. 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:29.440 By the way, this is still expensive. It's Los Angeles. 0:05:29.560 --> 0:05:31.680 But yeah, And my mom got in. 0:05:31.640 --> 0:05:35.120 The car with me and she says, there's no experience anymore. 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:38.320 I used to talk about you wearing sweatpants in first class. 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:41.880 I'll never say it again. She's like, I understand, this 0:05:41.920 --> 0:05:44.440 is a new world. I thought we were meeting someone 0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:46.240 a suit. I did my makeup, I did my hair, 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:48.080 just to know that we're buying a home. 0:05:48.279 --> 0:05:50.160 I was excited about the process. She said that they 0:05:50.200 --> 0:05:51.120 took me out of it. 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:53.880 She said, if I'm about to do this big, have 0:05:53.960 --> 0:05:56.120 this big moment in my life and my daughter and 0:05:56.200 --> 0:05:58.359 you look like that, what is this? 0:05:59.200 --> 0:06:03.040 I mean, it's tricky because I know the markets are expensive. 0:06:03.040 --> 0:06:05.240 But also as a real estate agent, if you're someone 0:06:05.400 --> 0:06:11.080 selling over a million dollar homes and someone's selling lessons, 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:13.680 you know, seven hundred thousand dollars homes. Even your commission 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:16.200 is different, so the money you make is different. I mean, 0:06:16.240 --> 0:06:18.560 I think we see it. You're going to dress differently 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:21.000 if you work, if you make two fifty at an 0:06:21.080 --> 0:06:24.239 executive company, or you're in them all selling clothes. 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:26.120 I mean, I just think it is. I don't know, 0:06:26.200 --> 0:06:26.680 they don't. 0:06:26.520 --> 0:06:29.480 Need a lot of money too. And that also, and 0:06:29.520 --> 0:06:31.000 we all know this to be true. 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:33.400 You go on she and get you a nice. 0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:36.280 Fabb Yeah she could, they could step. 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:37.600 It up, but I think it's really how much care 0:06:37.640 --> 0:06:40.560 you put into these things. And it's maybe also with 0:06:40.640 --> 0:06:42.520 these agents, the seriousness of the client. 0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:46.520 I just think over all those that's why I said overall, yeah, 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:50.719 there's no professionalism that exists anymore, and I do. I 0:06:50.720 --> 0:06:53.599 mean we could blame the pandemic quite a bit. I mean, 0:06:53.720 --> 0:06:57.919 with everyone having to be at home, with people not 0:06:57.960 --> 0:07:00.760 having to go into the office, I think Z has 0:07:00.800 --> 0:07:03.440 made things a lot more like the days ago, Like 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:06.760 professionalism just ain't ain't what it used to be like, 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:10.680 even from how you show up on interviews, like showing 0:07:10.720 --> 0:07:13.760 your shoulders and things that were just never acceptable. Are 0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:17.280 now like Okay, I know, I mean it's crazy. It's 0:07:17.320 --> 0:07:20.040 crazy when when I went. 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:24.080 To work the first day in Audible, I wore a 0:07:24.120 --> 0:07:24.920 blazer dress. 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:28.200 And the first thing one. 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:30.720 Of the colleagues I had at the time said, is girl, 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:33.120 what nigga you think is in here? And I'm like, 0:07:34.360 --> 0:07:38.080 because I kind of have a blazer dress, Like really 0:07:38.120 --> 0:07:41.200 this is But at the end of the day, we 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:42.960 all fought for casual fridays. 0:07:43.560 --> 0:07:44.960 I'll look, we talking about. 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:47.400 Oh, where's the suit? Like nobody ever wanted to do 0:07:47.440 --> 0:07:47.920 that anyway. 0:07:48.200 --> 0:07:50.360 So I feel like and even that when I had 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:53.160 casual fridays in corporate, it was just that you could 0:07:53.200 --> 0:07:56.600 wear jeans, that's it. And you couldn't have rips in 0:07:56.640 --> 0:07:58.800 the jeans. You couldn't have tears in the jeans. They 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:01.160 still they had to be gene. And then you still 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:03.840 have to wear like a blouse or a button up 0:08:03.920 --> 0:08:07.440 or you know, a polo can be, but denim, but 0:08:07.840 --> 0:08:09.960 well it's Denham can be, especially if they don't have 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:12.560 ribson terrors. Like that was even like, bro, you can't 0:08:12.600 --> 0:08:14.440 come in here with no rips in your jeans. Man, 0:08:15.120 --> 0:08:18.280 you just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon, 0:08:18.600 --> 0:08:21.040 but why it's up there. Tap in for the full, 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:25.040 uncut and way naster episodes over on Patreon. Go to 0:08:25.080 --> 0:08:29.800 patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlock all the messy, 0:08:29.880 --> 0:08:34.960 t wild stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else. 0:08:35.520 --> 0:08:38.680 And now here's You've Got Decisions. 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:40.959 If you would like to have us answer your questions. 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:44.440 If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or 0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:45.960 a terrible throatfle. 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:53.960 Guess what You've got decisions, You've got decisions. Hey, hey, hey, Horhive, 0:08:54.080 --> 0:08:57.280 it's your girl, Mandy b One half of the Decisions 0:08:57.280 --> 0:08:59.040 Decisions podcast here. 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:02.040 To answer yo, no question now. 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:08.400 If you want to submit anything regarding your relationship, your situationship, 0:09:08.559 --> 0:09:13.560 your friendship, your workship, your partnership, go ahead and send 0:09:13.600 --> 0:09:17.480 it on over to Decisions pod at gmail dot com. 0:09:17.760 --> 0:09:21.440 Before we get to this week's which is an update 0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:25.080 which makes me so excited again, make sure, if you 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:29.480 haven't yet, go and purchase No Holds Barred Doing Manifesto 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:33.959 of Sexual Exploration and Power, available now wherever you get books. 0:09:34.240 --> 0:09:37.240 Also make sure you get that audible version as well, 0:09:37.640 --> 0:09:41.600 and leave a review that continues to help us push 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:47.120 the messaging of this book. Now, y'all, I was supposed 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:50.839 to record this only yesterday. 0:09:51.480 --> 0:09:51.920 Huh. 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:55.440 But y'all the government shut down. Had you grow in 0:09:55.480 --> 0:10:00.480 a disarray at the airport? You follow me on social media. 0:10:01.360 --> 0:10:04.320 I ended up being drunk as hell, was put through 0:10:04.320 --> 0:10:06.880 a mattress and was like, I'm just gonna throw on 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:10.440 this Turkey costume and go through the airport. 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:12.920 No one's gonna notice me, no one's gonna see. 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:13.400 Me, bitch. 0:10:14.080 --> 0:10:17.240 Also, I dealt with three flight cancelations and it took 0:10:17.320 --> 0:10:21.000 thirteen hours for me to get from New York City 0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:27.360 LaGuardia Airport to goddamn Atlanta, Georgia. Okay, finally I am 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:32.559 done from being stressed out over all that shit and 0:10:33.360 --> 0:10:37.160 really excited because this week we have an update from 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:41.960 the letter. Is my boyfriend get boy? 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:42.960 Do? I love an update? 0:10:43.480 --> 0:10:48.080 So let's just get into all of these things. And girl, 0:10:48.360 --> 0:10:50.480 I am not gonna read your name. By the way, 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:53.120 when you submit a letter, just know that it will 0:10:53.160 --> 0:10:56.120 be anonymous. We will not give any details that'll let 0:10:56.240 --> 0:10:58.840 the folks know you are going through it. 0:10:59.120 --> 0:10:59.400 Again. 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:01.400 If you want to say and your letter in make 0:11:01.440 --> 0:11:04.600 sure you send it on over to decisions pod at 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:06.080 gmail dot com. 0:11:06.520 --> 0:11:07.640 Let's get into it hunt. 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:10.240 By the way, I'm doing this by myself because Weezi 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:12.080 is still in Brasil. 0:11:12.440 --> 0:11:15.680 Okay, she is still in Brazil. Okay. 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:19.000 Anyways, don't know what accep that is, but suck my 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:21.760 day from the back. All right, this is an update. 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:25.640 It is my boyfriend Gay. Hey, thanks for answering my email. 0:11:26.160 --> 0:11:28.439 I just listened to the episode and I'm writing back 0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:30.080 to provide more details. 0:11:30.400 --> 0:11:31.240 Transparently. 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:34.200 I ended it before writing that email, but I was 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:37.559 still ruminating on it, so I decided to write in 0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:41.240 we broke up back in July. I'm definitely okay with 0:11:41.280 --> 0:11:45.720 a man being bisexual, and honestly find it attractive. My 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:49.240 issue was that I felt he had zero attraction to 0:11:49.280 --> 0:11:52.240 me as a woman and seemed to be attracted to men. 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:55.439 He claimed that he was a boob guy. I'm a 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:59.280 size forty G, so you would think he would love that. 0:12:00.000 --> 0:12:02.560 When it came to intimacy, he seemed mortified at the 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:03.400 sight of my breast. 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:04.920 My boobs are nice. 0:12:05.320 --> 0:12:07.960 After the breakup, I hooked up with an old friend 0:12:07.960 --> 0:12:11.320 from college and he thoroughly enjoyed my boobs, So I 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:14.080 feel comfortable saying that my breasts weren't the issue here. 0:12:15.520 --> 0:12:18.080 When I tried to have conversations with him about sex 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:22.200 and sexuality, it was an uncomfortable topic for him and 0:12:22.280 --> 0:12:25.520 he would get defensive. He said in his last relationship, 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:28.120 sex was an issue as well. At one point I 0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:31.120 thought he might just have ed. But as I continue 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:34.520 to ask questions, the combination of his answers and his 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:38.080 behavior around gay men and his lack of sexual interest 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:41.199 in me made me feel like he is gay. 0:12:42.120 --> 0:12:46.280 His family is on a cult, girl, his words, all. 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:48.480 Right, now, I don't think you added the cult port 0:12:48.559 --> 0:12:52.319 last time, so I imagine they would disown him if 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:54.840 they found out he was gay. So I believe that 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:57.840 is why he sought out a relationship with a woman. 0:12:58.640 --> 0:13:02.079 Now, Girl, I don't think coats. 0:13:01.280 --> 0:13:05.880 Have any connection to homophobia, like real for real outside 0:13:05.880 --> 0:13:09.800 of the church. But U Okay, back to the topic 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:12.960 of conversations around sex and d I asked him if 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:16.800 he watches porn and if he is able to ejaculate 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:19.480 when watching porn, and he said yes. I asked what 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:22.480 type of porn does he like and he refused to answer. Oh, bitch, 0:13:23.559 --> 0:13:28.240 he said, that previous exes gets him in his past 0:13:28.600 --> 0:13:31.440 and said things like I bet if I was this, 0:13:31.880 --> 0:13:35.520 you'd want to have sex. He didn't explain what this was, 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:40.280 but I'm going to like but might automatically filled the 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:44.439 word with man. I still tried to stay open minded 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:47.840 and think of the possibilities and also consider that he 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:51.080 may be a sexual, but the way he lustfully looked 0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:53.080 at men, it was hard to believe that he might 0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:56.040 be a sexual. The other part that made me feel 0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:58.680 like his roommate was his boyfriend is because for the 0:13:58.800 --> 0:14:01.720 nine years he was living with him, they also had 0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:05.120 only a one bedroom apartment. He lived in Oklahoma, which 0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:09.320 is extremely affordable. The man works in aerospace, so only 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:13.320 is financially able to get a apartment. The city that 0:14:13.520 --> 0:14:18.000 I'm in is LA, so it is definitely moreive, but 0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:21.160 he can still financially afford a two bedroom there as well. 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:23.240 What led me to break up with him is that 0:14:23.280 --> 0:14:25.640 I couldn't get over that feeling, and anytime I tried 0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:28.760 to discuss sexuality, he blew up and got defensive. 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:32.280 Ever since his roommate moved out here. 0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:35.440 He's made excuses as to why I couldn't come over 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:38.360 the combination of that and the fact that he went 0:14:38.760 --> 0:14:41.360 one week without seeing me even though he only lives 0:14:41.400 --> 0:14:45.360 ten minutes away from that led to the breakup. While texting, 0:14:45.480 --> 0:14:47.560 I did tell him that I don't think he's straight, 0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:52.120 oh God, and he vaguely confessed that he isn't straight. 0:14:54.320 --> 0:14:57.040 Going to attach a snapshot of that text as I'm 0:14:57.080 --> 0:14:59.160 curious on your thoughts about it, ooh girl. 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:00.120 Not the tape. 0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:03.200 The situation where I felt like he was farting with 0:15:03.240 --> 0:15:06.320 a guy, only engaging in conversation with him and not 0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:09.960 his friend, I guess when they were out and anytime 0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:13.000 the guy would try to speak to me, he would interrupt. 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:15.760 I felt that he was competing with me for that 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:16.480 guy's attention. 0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:18.160 Also, the fact they. 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:21.360 Thinked about him and wondering about him right after we 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:23.200 had sex was also odd. 0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:25.960 I know I could be wrong, but there were too 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:27.000 many red flags. 0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:29.640 The roommate situation really took it over the top for 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:33.760 me because that's when everything changed and he became less available. Also, 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:37.120 the fact that he's living or been living with this 0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:41.120 man for nine years in a one bedroom apartment explains 0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:42.920 why he didn't want to talk on the phone. Lunch 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:47.040 and preferred texts and voice notes. Also, they're black and 0:15:47.120 --> 0:15:49.960 in their late thirties. Let me know your thoughts. Thanks 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:52.360 for taking the time to read all of this. I 0:15:52.400 --> 0:15:56.080 was more so seeking confirmation if you all believe that 0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:57.640 he is likely gay and. 0:15:57.600 --> 0:15:58.360 That I was tripping. 0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:00.800 He made me feel like I was the one tripping 0:16:01.160 --> 0:16:06.120 anytime I brought up the discussion. All right, few things, 0:16:06.560 --> 0:16:09.800 so he admitted that he's not fully straight. But you 0:16:09.880 --> 0:16:14.720 said he likes titties but also flirts with men. It's 0:16:14.800 --> 0:16:18.440 giving that or in that he likes might actually be 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:23.760 trans women. This is just my guess because that too 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:26.240 is the point that I like to watch as well, 0:16:27.600 --> 0:16:30.000 and it may also be the reason why he identifies 0:16:30.040 --> 0:16:34.280 as straight personally. I have dealt with quite a few 0:16:34.320 --> 0:16:38.960 men or heavy Asian conversation with men who identify as 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:44.760 heterosexual straight men. However, they have engaged with or are 0:16:44.800 --> 0:16:48.960 turned by, or at least fantasized about trans women. It 0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:51.960 is trans women with the dicks with the tits, so 0:16:52.920 --> 0:16:55.200 that could be also an explanation as to why he 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:58.720 still identifies as straight, or even when he decided to 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:01.800 open up to you that he will straight. His confusion 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:06.000 came from still identifying those women as women, So in 0:17:06.040 --> 0:17:08.480 his mind, even though there is a dick there, he 0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:13.160 still believes that he is attracted to women specifically, did 0:17:13.280 --> 0:17:23.879 it on women. Let's get into the text message. She 0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:29.960 sent a text message saying, no, not at all. I'm 0:17:30.000 --> 0:17:32.760 an open person, but I asked you about your sexuality 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:35.960 and you lied. This seemed to be a text message 0:17:36.359 --> 0:17:40.479 that he didn't respond to, so she re quoted it 0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:45.160 and said, so you're not going to respond to this, lol, 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:53.080 Okay his response, sexuality is a spectrum. 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:57.160 You know this. You're not even one hundred percent straight yourself. 0:17:57.920 --> 0:18:01.200 I'm not gay. I don't prefer men. I prefer women. 0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:04.520 But I'm just saying I don't think anybody today is 0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:07.919 one hundred percent straight. All of my relationships have been 0:18:07.960 --> 0:18:10.600 with women, and that's where I want to stay. I 0:18:10.680 --> 0:18:13.399 have no interest in men. I was not flirting with 0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:14.399 that dude at that play. 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:17.840 Lol. I believe I have to say that I. 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:20.040 Just thought you was cool, and since I'm new to 0:18:20.080 --> 0:18:23.800 the area, I'm gathering context of cool peeps as potential friends. 0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:25.120 Is that a problem? 0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:28.439 You say things as absolutes, as if you've come to 0:18:28.480 --> 0:18:33.000 these conclusions without even confirming them Ooh girl, he ran 0:18:33.160 --> 0:18:36.960 you just a little bit. I agree that sexuality is 0:18:36.960 --> 0:18:39.200 on a spectrum. We talk about it all the time. 0:18:39.440 --> 0:18:42.480 If you're new here, check out the Kinsey scale. This 0:18:42.680 --> 0:18:45.359 response leads me to believe and even the way you 0:18:45.520 --> 0:18:48.520 kind of attacked him, I asked you about your sexuality 0:18:48.520 --> 0:18:53.320 and you lied, I find it interesting coming from someone 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:58.280 who says that bisexuality would be something that you would 0:18:58.320 --> 0:19:02.240 be open to being with. You also seem to not 0:19:02.800 --> 0:19:05.040 care about the sexuality as much as you cared about 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:07.440 the lie, which in the text message you also brought 0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:11.480 up the lie. However, you can't get honesty out of 0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:14.080 a person when you come at them on the attack, 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:15.840 because all they're going to know how to do is 0:19:15.960 --> 0:19:16.919 defend themselves. 0:19:17.440 --> 0:19:17.880 And so. 0:19:19.320 --> 0:19:21.280 I guess I'm glad to see that you guys broke 0:19:21.359 --> 0:19:24.720 up because this clearly wasn't working. 0:19:24.440 --> 0:19:25.159 For either of you. 0:19:26.000 --> 0:19:30.959 But in the same sense, I do think that you 0:19:31.240 --> 0:19:35.000 should wholeheartedly sit with what it is that you want. 0:19:35.480 --> 0:19:37.320 You did this long distance relationship. 0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:40.640 You're now even admitting that you didn't speak to him 0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:44.320 very often, You didn't spend him very often. If I 0:19:44.359 --> 0:19:47.840 recall from the last letter you had been together for 0:19:47.920 --> 0:19:50.399 like a year. He made it official, but it was 0:19:50.480 --> 0:19:53.040 long distance and you didn't see him often. So to 0:19:53.080 --> 0:19:57.320 read even in this email that you also were only 0:19:57.359 --> 0:20:02.159 able to really text him because you weren't much of 0:20:02.160 --> 0:20:05.280 a phone conversation because he was living with a roommate 0:20:05.600 --> 0:20:09.399 which you now believe to be his boyfriend for the 0:20:09.480 --> 0:20:10.359 last nine years. 0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:11.560 It's all very tricky. 0:20:11.600 --> 0:20:14.959 And what I want to express to the listeners to 0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:19.480 the whore Hive, baby, if he wanted to. 0:20:19.880 --> 0:20:22.159 He would. And this is one of those things that 0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:24.000 are like, oh my god, what does that mean? Or 0:20:24.240 --> 0:20:26.600 I hear it all the time and da da da da. 0:20:26.680 --> 0:20:28.639 It's one of those where I promise you you do 0:20:28.720 --> 0:20:30.919 not have to force a man to show up for you. 0:20:30.119 --> 0:20:31.719