Speaker 1: Hey guys, welcome to this episode. We are here. We
Speaker 1: are queer. Not me, actually. I feel like pink. Remember
Speaker 1: when being queer?
Speaker 2: I'm gay. Actually, I'm not. I'm gay. Actually, I'm not.
Speaker 1: Actually, I'm not.
Speaker 3: And waiting for the applause to die down. Actually, I'm not.
Speaker 1: That is what, like, it feels like to be bisexual
Speaker 1: and be hopping between.
Speaker 3: Like, the genders. Well, bisexual people aren't real.
Speaker 1: They're not real in the same way like people don't
Speaker 1: believe in tarot cards, but like anything is real if
Speaker 1: you really have OCD.
Speaker 2: Yeah, true.
Speaker 3: Wait.
Speaker 1: That's the way.
Speaker 2: I really want to digest like in really like psychoanalyze
Speaker 2: that pink video a little further because it is really crazy.
Speaker 2: Like what is her like? So she says like, I'm gay.
Speaker 2: applause actually i'm not like was she like accidentally like
Speaker 2: was she feeling the moment and she was like.
Speaker 1: I'm gay i think she got lost in the moment
Speaker 1: or was it a joke.
Speaker 3: No she was at a it was the you know
Speaker 3: those two guys here by the way yeah hi hi
Speaker 3: the two little bars it's like the human rights yeah
Speaker 3: yeah i think she was at one of those events
Speaker 3: that's what it was for yeah And I think she
Speaker 3: was like essentially trying to make a point of like,
Speaker 3: I'm gay and everyone like cheering. And she's like, actually,
Speaker 3: I'm not. And I think she was just kind of like,
Speaker 3: it wouldn't make a difference if I was. That was
Speaker 3: the vibe I got.
Speaker 2: See, I kind of.
Speaker 1: Live in the world where she was feeling her oath.
Speaker 1: It would have been like if Charlie got a award like.
Speaker 3: That during the era.
Speaker 2: Oh, Charlie. Wait, Charlie Kirk got an award during the era.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, Charlie XCX and Charlie Kirk.
Speaker 3: Well, they're related.
Speaker 2: I've actually never seen them in the same. Yeah. Do
Speaker 2: they look alike?
Speaker 3: They were sisters?
Speaker 2: Wait, Charlie Kirk made brat, right?
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 3: You're thinking of Charlie XCX.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: XCX.
Speaker 2: Oh, my God. True romance. Yeah. Sing it.
Speaker 3: Sing it.
Speaker 2: Ha, ha, ha. Sing it.
Speaker 1: Actually, you know what?
Speaker 2: Sing it, Drew.
Speaker 1: I know we were being nostalgic in the last episode,
Speaker 1: but my dad did send me these photos that just
Speaker 1: hit the.
Speaker 3: Pentagon.
Speaker 1: Ten years. Essentially. They just hit the ten-year age mark,
Speaker 1: and it's like, In North Carolina, like, just... This was... Wow.
Speaker 2: Chills. Full body chills. True romance.
Speaker 1: Is that you?
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: This is me at 16. At this point, that album
Speaker 1: had already been out for, like, three years, though. Which
Speaker 1: is crazy to think about. I was thinking this morning that... Like,
Speaker 1: we have that joke about somebody being born in 2004,
Speaker 1: like I do at the beginning of the podcast, just
Speaker 1: joking about how ridiculous that sounded. But there are people
Speaker 1: who were born when Can't Be Tamed era started, and
Speaker 1: they can legally buy, like, cigarettes in some states.
Speaker 2: Chills.
Speaker 1: Or wait, no, cigarettes are 21 now.
Speaker 3: Kids who were born in 2006 are 18.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: What? They're listening right now.
Speaker 1: Natalie was born in like 2008, I'm pretty sure. She's
Speaker 1: about to be 18 this year.
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 1: 2008.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: Yes, bro.
Speaker 2: Y'all, this is like the most unk conversation ever. Like,
Speaker 2: I'm not partaking.
Speaker 1: But I don't say it. I don't engage in that
Speaker 1: in a way because I don't yearn for my youth. Thankfully,
Speaker 1: my childhood was so fucking treacherous and I wasn't allowed
Speaker 1: to be a child.
Speaker 3: You don't want to go back. Yeah, I never once.
Speaker 1: There is history. There is proof in the pudding. Not
Speaker 1: once has any of you mans or been like, God,
Speaker 1: I just wish I was 16 again.
Speaker 4: Fuck.
Speaker 3: Hell no.
Speaker 2: Hell no. And I don't want that for me, for you. Like,
Speaker 2: I don't want you to be 16 again for my sake.
Speaker 1: I know, because then I'd start tugging on your pants.
Speaker 2: I mean, that and also just like, yeah.
Speaker 1: I was crazy.
Speaker 2: No, I'll tell you.
Speaker 3: Well, because you had a big stinking crush on him.
Speaker 1: Yeah. That's why I just said I'd be tugging on
Speaker 1: his pants.
Speaker 2: And you was obsessed with me. She straddled me and
Speaker 2: made out with me.
Speaker 1: And now guess what? The roles were reversed because last night,
Speaker 1: who was all up on me?
Speaker 3: I tried to tell you. I told you. I told you.
Speaker 3: Because last night, he was saying a bunch of shit
Speaker 3: to me.
Speaker 1: I didn't say anything.
Speaker 3: No, okay.
Speaker 1: This I don't know about.
Speaker 3: He was saying like, I'm going to fuck you.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay.
Speaker 3: And I was like, Drew, chill.
Speaker 2: Chill out.
Speaker 3: And then I told Enya, I was like, you're sleeping
Speaker 3: in bed with him tonight. You better be careful.
Speaker 2: Bitch, I rolled over.
Speaker 1: I'm drinking my small potion, by the way.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I rolled over and latched on to fucking Enya. And
Speaker 2: I woke up and I was like, whoa. Like, I
Speaker 2: was like, it probably felt good in your sleep, though.
Speaker 2: But I was like on you. Like, my hand was like.
Speaker 2: under your neck here.
Speaker 3: No, no, you fully just had me.
Speaker 2: It was like a proper cuddle.
Speaker 1: You had your way with me.
Speaker 2: I had your way with your sleeping body, baby.
Speaker 1: You had your way with me.
Speaker 2: And low-key, you loved it, though.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was down. You loved it. I thought I
Speaker 1: felt protected, although I'm pretty sure we weigh the exact
Speaker 1: same amount. So who's protecting who? Like, bitch.
Speaker 3: Well, that's what I always say. But also, we... Oh, no,
Speaker 3: because I am like.
Speaker 1: I am like.
Speaker 3: Oh, I know what I'm saying. If someone's coming up
Speaker 3: to us, We're both running.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I'm not going to be there being like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'll take care of him. What the fuck am I.
Speaker 1: Going to do?
Speaker 2: They're going to snap us like twigs, bro.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm going to run. Our best bet, running.
Speaker 2: Your best bet, carry on. Clock it. We got in
Speaker 2: a fight in our sleep last night.
Speaker 1: That's what Drew was telling me.
Speaker 3: We got in a fight.
Speaker 2: I do not recall this. No, we literally got into
Speaker 2: like a little like back and forth. Like I, either
Speaker 2: you or me, one of us was talking in our sleep.
Speaker 1: Which it sounds like you would start that because you
Speaker 1: talk in your sleep kind of often.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's so cute. I love that. I love that
Speaker 2: about myself. But no, one of us was talking in
Speaker 2: our sleep and I think I was talking in my
Speaker 2: sleep and you were like, what are you saying? Like what,
Speaker 2: like literally, what are you talking about? And I was like,
Speaker 2: I just kept mumbling. And then like you like, Kept
Speaker 2: getting more angry at me because I wasn't making any sense.
Speaker 2: And then like I started getting frustrated because I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm speaking very clearly.
Speaker 1: I'm speaking very clearly right now.
Speaker 2: I'm speaking very queerly right now.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And let me be queer.
Speaker 2: And let me be queer. Let me be queer. What
Speaker 2: would Barack Obama be like? And let me be queer.
Speaker 1: Cut your feed off dot com.
Speaker 2: Oh my God. Cut your feed off dot com. Like
Speaker 2: a video came up on my feed today. And it
Speaker 2: was just talking about cutyourfeetoff.com, which I think is a
Speaker 2: fetish website to get people to chop their feet off.
Speaker 1: And I ended up on it by accident because I
Speaker 1: went to Daisy Chain Festival and I also got locked
Speaker 1: and stuck there for two hours.
Speaker 2: Wait, it's a real website?
Speaker 1: So when I got home, my feet hurt so bad,
Speaker 1: I went to cut your... Huh?
Speaker 3: It's a real website? Yes.
Speaker 1: Or I don't know. Me say yes.
Speaker 2: Yes, dude.
Speaker 3: I woke up and the first thing I heard was.
Speaker 1: From Drew's phone. It was like... This website, cutyourfeetoff.com. So
Speaker 1: there's a website called cutyourfeetoff.com. It was like an AI. Drew,
Speaker 1: what did you say the other day?
Speaker 3: You said, because obviously, RIP Dolly Parton.
Speaker 2: RIP Tim Curry. Rest in peace.
Speaker 3: That's terrible.
Speaker 2: Worst week to be gay ever.
Speaker 3: Drew said, dude, people are dying who've never died before.
Speaker 2: Well, that's not my joke. That's not my joke. It's
Speaker 2: like a Twitter thing. It's like... there are people out
Speaker 2: here dying that have never died. There are people out
Speaker 2: here dying that have never died before. I was like, well, yeah,
Speaker 2: they've never died before. They're fucking alive. That's the point.
Speaker 2: It was like something about lock your favorite celebrity up
Speaker 2: because there's people out here dying that have never died before.
Speaker 2: And that's literally how I felt about Dolly Parton and
Speaker 2: Tim Curry.
Speaker 3: Do you think if you would have been with her
Speaker 3: that it wouldn't have happened?
Speaker 2: I would have stopped 9-11, yeah.
Speaker 3: That's what Mark Wahlberg says.
Speaker 2: If I was on the plane, I would have stopped now.
Speaker 3: He said it would not have gone down like that.
Speaker 1: I feel him.
Speaker 2: And yeah, I actually feel him.
Speaker 1: You probably do.
Speaker 3: You're probably like, yeah, I would have taken care of business.
Speaker 1: Bitch, no. Y'all are a bit too calm.
Speaker 2: Like, bitch, how am I the only one in here
Speaker 2: not staging a coup?
Speaker 1: God, we all get in this together. You probably fucking won't.
Speaker 1: I don't want bodies on that plane. Oh, the fuck?
Speaker 2: Like, at least 10 people might die.
Speaker 1: You're freaking me weird.
Speaker 2: You're taking me to the Pentagon?
Speaker 3: Well, do they have the black box recordings? Like, were
Speaker 3: people trying to get in there to even try to
Speaker 3: stop it?
Speaker 2: I think the Pentagon, or the one that crashed in
Speaker 2: the field, people rose up and stopped it.
Speaker 3: And it ended up being in a field.
Speaker 2: And it ended up in a field. And it paid off.
Speaker 3: Well, I think they all died, but they saved a
Speaker 3: lot of lives. But they saved, yeah, because a lot
Speaker 3: of people died in those buildings.
Speaker 2: I'm still dead at you.
Speaker 1: Like, come on.
Speaker 2: It's like yesterday on the beach.
Speaker 1: Guys, if we all put our minds together, we can
Speaker 1: do this.
Speaker 2: It literally, like, yesterday at the beach, I saw a
Speaker 2: bunch of birds, like, seabirds, attacking this, like, person's thing.
Speaker 2: They went into the water.
Speaker 3: This person.
Speaker 2: This person. No, like, they're, like, picnic. They had a
Speaker 2: bunch of food.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: They obviously.
Speaker 1: They were going in on their camp. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, they obviously, like, didn't know to protect their food
Speaker 2: from the birds because they don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1: Me, when I'm the dumbest person.
Speaker 2: Bitch, I watched them open bags of Doritos. Like, the
Speaker 2: birds opened the bags. I have it on video, by
Speaker 2: the way. They opened the bags of Doritos and then, like,
Speaker 2: would throw it around to get chips out and all
Speaker 2: of them would swarm. They did it twice and then
Speaker 2: they went for the baguette. They went for the faggot. What? Yeah,
Speaker 2: they went for the faggot.
Speaker 3: They went for you?
Speaker 1: How could they carry you?
Speaker 3: Because you're so heavy.
Speaker 1: He's all big.
Speaker 3: Double homicide wow double homicide.
Speaker 2: No they went for the faggot and they um started
Speaker 2: ripping it to shreds but the people came back by
Speaker 2: then but all of the birds were like standing around
Speaker 2: just like watching these like scared of these people and
Speaker 2: i was like there's like 800 birds around this person's
Speaker 2: like beach set up like if they rose up together
Speaker 2: they could take over if the birds knew if the
Speaker 2: birds knew that they have power in numbers like it
Speaker 2: would be over for us i'm telling you right now.
Speaker 3: They do but they have pea-sized little fucking brains yeah
Speaker 3: i hate seagulls i wish seagulls away from the earth
Speaker 3: i banish you i banish you if i was god
Speaker 3: for a day get rid because also they bully pigeons
Speaker 3: and i'm like bitch fuck.
Speaker 2: I saw it happen actually i have a video of
Speaker 2: it i have a video of a big ass like
Speaker 2: Evil seagull, like, chomping, like, literally trying to bite it.
Speaker 1: Seagulls are pretty lit, though, because have you ever had...
Speaker 1: Or I don't know if I'm thinking of seagulls or...
Speaker 1: I'm thinking of pelicans.
Speaker 3: Pelicans are cool.
Speaker 1: Pelicans are the ones that.
Speaker 3: They're cool.
Speaker 1: They eat from the water.
Speaker 3: Seagulls, I'm like, you're loud as fuck. You're, like, annoying
Speaker 3: as shit.
Speaker 2: Wow, God's creations are beautiful. Like, a pelican... Is that
Speaker 2: the one with the big, like.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. He's the guzzler.
Speaker 1: No, that's the first thing they went for. Or no,
Speaker 1: after the Doritos, what did they go for?
Speaker 2: Faggot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what that is. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But wait, let me show you all the videos. Is
Speaker 2: that fun for y'all? Does everybody want to see my
Speaker 2: videos of these birds?
Speaker 3: That sounds awesome.
Speaker 2: Like, it's really fun. Wait, let me first show this picture.
Speaker 2: Of me.
Speaker 3: Oh, Drew did look so good. You sent me that.
Speaker 3: You just texted me that.
Speaker 1: I was sitting on the couch and Drew just tapped
Speaker 1: my shoulder and like I turned over and it was
Speaker 1: just a picture of him. Mind you, there was like
Speaker 1: six people in the living room.
Speaker 2: And I don't give a fuck. Six or seven people.
Speaker 3: Also, I just want to say this again because I
Speaker 3: don't know if enough people heard it, but I saw.
Speaker 2: Show speed? No.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 3: I saw Emma Chamberlain again dyed her hair because she's
Speaker 3: been blonde for the longest time, but she still is
Speaker 3: keeping it short.
Speaker 4: Girl.
Speaker 3: Where is your hair?
Speaker 2: Girl.
Speaker 3: Where is your hair?
Speaker 2: And Gracie Abrams, too.
Speaker 3: Where is your hair? Gracie Abrams, where is your hair?
Speaker 1: Mitski.
Speaker 2: Chapel Roan.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 2: Girl, where is your hair, girl? Where is your hair?
Speaker 3: That is the recession indicator is they're cutting their hair short.
Speaker 2: Because K-18 is expensive.
Speaker 3: K-18 is really expensive.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, the more hair you have, I can tell
Speaker 3: you from experience with my long hair, I use way
Speaker 3: more shit than when I have short hair.
Speaker 2: You wash your hair with shit?
Speaker 3: No, Drew, I don't wash my hair with shit. He
Speaker 3: said he has.
Speaker 1: Way more shit, so maybe he actually saves on shit.
Speaker 2: Oh, he saves, yeah. But the thing is, he made
Speaker 2: me smell his hair earlier.
Speaker 3: I got a new shampoo.
Speaker 2: It smelled like dog shit.
Speaker 3: Did it really?
Speaker 2: Are you collecting dog shit?
Speaker 3: Somebody told me the other day that I smelled like
Speaker 3: a dirty flower. And I was like a dirty flower.
Speaker 2: The worst smell.
Speaker 3: In the world.
Speaker 1: I kind of like that because to me, I like
Speaker 1: a lot of white floral tones in perfume.
Speaker 3: Like the ones that almost smell like bad breath, but
Speaker 3: they don't quite.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: Jasmine, iris.
Speaker 1: And I like that to be mixed with... I do
Speaker 1: have the cigarette and jasmine, like that one perfume. Oh, from.
Speaker 3: I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: And that's what I think of when... What was it? Like,
Speaker 1: dirty flowers? That smells like a dirty flower to me.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, okay, okay. I would take that compliment.
Speaker 2: That smells like a dirty flower to me.
Speaker 3: Well, you know, I was going to say, that's the
Speaker 3: dirty flower. I know the smell of a dirty flower.
Speaker 1: Trust.
Speaker 2: The worst smell in the world, though, however, like, I actually, like,
Speaker 2: I think this is my least favorite smell on this planet. Like,
Speaker 2: you could actually take a rotting bag of shit, piss,
Speaker 2: and cum that's been sitting out in the sun 120
Speaker 2: degrees for two weeks, open it in my room, and
Speaker 2: I'd be okay with it. But Take the rotting stems
Speaker 2: and the rotten water from, like, a bouquet of flowers
Speaker 2: in a vase. Like, that smell haunts me. It's disgusting.
Speaker 3: Like, that is the worst smell. Like, why does it
Speaker 3: smell like that?
Speaker 1: Getting rid of flowers destroys the whole vibe of having
Speaker 1: fresh flowers in your house.
Speaker 3: You just gotta keep having them up.
Speaker 1: Even if you go forth and, like, spend the exuberant
Speaker 1: amount of money it costs to have just cut flowers...
Speaker 1: in your house, it is going to smell like nuked
Speaker 1: dog surgery.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's going to smell like straight dog surgery, bitch.
Speaker 1: That's pregnancy piss. That's the first piss after a pregnancy.
Speaker 2: It's going to smell like dog abortion in there.
Speaker 3: No, no.
Speaker 1: Go.
Speaker 2: What? What's wrong with you? I love you.
Speaker 3: There's nothing wrong with Nunu.
Speaker 1: Nobody wants to ask me about my daisy chain.
Speaker 3: I want Nunu.
Speaker 2: And yet, how was your daisy chain?
Speaker 3: Yeah, did you get any Nunu there? Did you get
Speaker 3: any Nookie?
Speaker 1: I want Nunu.
Speaker 3: I want Nunu.
Speaker 2: How was it?
Speaker 1: No, I did get given, um, like, uh charm bracelets
Speaker 1: what are they called the.
Speaker 2: Ones like friendship bracelet.
Speaker 1: Yeah because I was alone um but I was like
Speaker 1: drunk and I don't really remember like what the interaction
Speaker 1: was but I know that she was like oh my
Speaker 1: god are you with anyone I was like no it's
Speaker 1: just me and she was like oh my god and
Speaker 1: then gave me uh bracelets which I think in any
Speaker 1: other setting I would have found demeaning and ridiculous but
Speaker 1: You felt safe there. Baby, I was so happy.
Speaker 2: You felt real there.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy. No, I... I'm not kidding. I'm not...
Speaker 1: It's not unlike me to go to concerts alone. I like...
Speaker 1: I love going to concerts alone, but.
Speaker 2: Festival is a different story, though.
Speaker 1: Yeah, festivals. Also, I notoriously hate festivals. But this is
Speaker 1: lit because it was only a day. Like, I don't
Speaker 1: like festivals because I'm like, bitch, you want me? Okay.
Speaker 2: Two days, three days in a row.
Speaker 1: Bus, bus. Another bus.
Speaker 3: Another bus.
Speaker 1: Another charter bus. Another club.
Speaker 3: Like, no, I don't want to do all that. I.
Speaker 2: thought about it more, like, I was like, I didn't
Speaker 2: belong at Daisy Jane. That wasn't my space to invade.
Speaker 2: I'm happy you got to experience that. Like, that wasn't
Speaker 2: a boy.
Speaker 1: There were gay guys there.
Speaker 2: Well, maybe I'm straight. It would have been weird as fuck.
Speaker 3: They asked me to play it, but I was like, ooh,
Speaker 3: out of respect, I was like, I shouldn't. Like, I shouldn't.
Speaker 1: Well, you were in a headline.
Speaker 3: I was, I was.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I'm gonna, like, almost choke up thinking about it.
Speaker 1: You were supposed to replace Cat's Eye.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, and I was supposed to replace Chaperone as well.
Speaker 3: And they caught me. But as I know, the future
Speaker 3: is bright. I'm playing checkers. Y'all are playing chess.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Josiah's been saying, y'all are playing checkers. I'm playing chess.
Speaker 1: Like, no, I'm playing chess.
Speaker 3: What's wrong with that?
Speaker 1: It's always good because like the idea of playing chess
Speaker 1: is like you keep your courts closed.
Speaker 3: Exactly close your chest yeah exactly exactly exactly and it's
Speaker 3: keto no i know no i know and what you're
Speaker 3: doing is actually really smart but it's also very dangerous
Speaker 3: very we should start doing like a pred catcher series
Speaker 3: thing that's my fucking dream bro the three.
Speaker 1: Of us doing that that's my dream that's my.
Speaker 3: Fucking dream we'd be so bad at it we'd probably
Speaker 3: lose them all the time and you'd probably start.
Speaker 5: I'd get my ass beat bro no because like yeah
Speaker 5: it's such a weird moral great uh gray ground or
Speaker 5: gray area um i was thinking of greyhounds i saw
Speaker 5: somebody do this parody of uh this is so off
Speaker 5: topic but somebody was making fun of like nepo babies
Speaker 5: but that stella lefty oh yeah I always almost say
Speaker 5: Stella Mae.
Speaker 1: Who the fuck is Stella Mae?
Speaker 2: Stella Mae sounds very familiar.
Speaker 3: Are you thinking of Ella Mae?
Speaker 1: No, I know Ella Mae.
Speaker 3: Stella Mae.
Speaker 2: Stella Mae.
Speaker 1: Who the fuck is Stella Mae? Oh, Mrs. Mayo.
Speaker 2: We know Mayo. We know Mrs.
Speaker 3: Mayo.
Speaker 2: We know Mayo.
Speaker 3: Hi, I'm Mrs.
Speaker 2: Mayo.
Speaker 1: Hi.
Speaker 3: It's nice to meet me.
Speaker 2: Hi, Mayo.
Speaker 1: Hi, Mr. Mrs. Mayo. Fucked up last name. There's some
Speaker 1: fucked up last names.
Speaker 2: I hooked up with someone one time and they pointed
Speaker 2: to my 40 tattoo on my thigh and said, is
Speaker 2: that a tub of mayo?
Speaker 3: Oh, I know who you're talking about.
Speaker 2: Don't play in my fucking face. It is a 40.
Speaker 3: I could see that, though. It looks like a tub
Speaker 3: of mayo.
Speaker 2: It could be mayo.
Speaker 4: I wish.
Speaker 3: You do love mayo.
Speaker 2: I love mayo.
Speaker 3: That's how you'd be acting at night, though. You, like,
Speaker 3: get a big bowl of it and you bring.
Speaker 2: It to me. You're like, look.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, ew, Drew, you're telling me you're eating, like,
Speaker 3: probably two, three cups.
Speaker 2: Of mayo right now? But it's a really hard decision
Speaker 2: to make every night because by the time my food
Speaker 2: is in my room.
Speaker 1: You eat like a stray cat being semi-fed by a
Speaker 1: middle-class family in 2006.
Speaker 4: And.
Speaker 1: Like....
Speaker 2: And did.
Speaker 1: The fact that you cannot eat without falling asleep is just, like,
Speaker 1: it's normal to get tired after you eat, especially, like.
Speaker 3: If it's dense.
Speaker 2: But to knock out?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but to pass out? Anytime I say that to somebody,
Speaker 3: they're like, oh, he should.
Speaker 2: Like, go to the doctor. And I have. I have
Speaker 2: so many times. I have so many times. I know,
Speaker 2: I know, I know. He's, like, the boy who... they
Speaker 2: couldn't find the cure for yes yes.
Speaker 1: No he's the boy who kept somehow picking the weirdest
Speaker 1: doctors ever who would lose.
Speaker 2: His blood remember when I got molested by my doctor
Speaker 2: yeah very weird like not too gorgeous did he text
Speaker 2: you like in the middle of the night or something
Speaker 2: yes he just was texting me a bunch of weird creepy.
Speaker 1: Shit yeah do you remember that after.
Speaker 2: Like touching my balls for no reason like he had
Speaker 2: no right yeah revoke the hippo yeah revoke the hippo
Speaker 2: take the hippo back revoke mu dang wait mu dang
Speaker 2: mu dang.
Speaker 3: Is dead by the way Not kidding.
Speaker 2: They ate her. You know the little pygmy hippo?
Speaker 3: The little hippo. The little baby hippo from like two
Speaker 3: or three years ago.
Speaker 2: It died already?
Speaker 3: What the fuck did they do to it? Because somebody
Speaker 3: ate it. And then they farted. Guys, Enya said one
Speaker 3: of the greatest bars of all time.
Speaker 2: Guys, Enya said one of the greatest bars of all
Speaker 2: time that actually had the whole fucking squad laughing. And
Speaker 2: I had to do a post-game interview. Bitch, I almost
Speaker 2: signed up for improv right there. No, literally. The way
Speaker 2: the room cackled when they heard this, it's not going
Speaker 2: to come off as funny as it was last night
Speaker 2: because she was just really in a flow state and
Speaker 2: we were all bouncing off of each other or bouncing
Speaker 2: on each other. But we were talking about how the
Speaker 2: housing market is so bad and, like, everybody in this
Speaker 2: country is broke. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. And a recession.
Speaker 3: And you said, yeah, it's so bad.
Speaker 2: Hoes are buying sardines and living in the can.
Speaker 3: People are eating sardines and then living in the can.
Speaker 1: Because those tin houses that they sell on Amazon for
Speaker 1: like $ 25, 000, bitch. And then you turn into, the craziest
Speaker 1: part is you turn into the fish, not the fish.
Speaker 3: Well, you're all packed in there.
Speaker 2: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory style. That's how you have
Speaker 2: to sleep in there.
Speaker 1: But that's how we all like kind of basically choose.
Speaker 3: That is literally y'all the grandparents that are like brain
Speaker 3: dead like last night i was looking at them in
Speaker 3: bed and i was like oh like i love you
Speaker 3: guys yes they are brain dead when i was like
Speaker 3: i like grapes like that's all she says she says
Speaker 3: like four times in the movie and that's you oh
Speaker 3: i feel like that's any and i feel like you're
Speaker 3: low-key the like the one who's like i'll.
Speaker 2: Go to the chocolate factory to you dude i don't
Speaker 2: think that's me i'm charlie You're obviously Charlie.
Speaker 1: I think I'm the one who's down to go.
Speaker 3: To the chocolate bar. Maybe I'm the Mad Hatter. Or
Speaker 3: Willy Wonka.
Speaker 1: Hey, but hopefully that chocolate's got a little something more
Speaker 1: than sugar in it.
Speaker 2: Not me being Cheshire Cat. Not me being Cheshire Cat.
Speaker 1: I'd be like a drug addict grandma. Cheshire Cat?
Speaker 3: Oh, because you're the happy smiler.
Speaker 2: I'm the happy fucking smiler. You're the happy grinner.
Speaker 4: Aww.
Speaker 2: I'm the happy grinner.
Speaker 3: Smile.
Speaker 2: I'm the happy smiler.
Speaker 3: You don't smile enough. I don't.
Speaker 1: You're the happy singer, too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I am.
Speaker 1: Let it eat.
Speaker 2: Save it, save it, save it, save it.
Speaker 3: You don't have to.
Speaker 2: Give me something to sing. You don't have to sing.
Speaker 3: He doesn't have to sing.
Speaker 1: Remember how mad you singing?
Speaker 2: Oh, go ahead.
Speaker 1: I'm actually curious.
Speaker 4: No, you get better than that. It's all in the red.
Speaker 4: It's all in the red.
Speaker 1: You know what it is? Is your voice is deeper.
Speaker 1: That's one of the eight.
Speaker 2: Ah, sit you, sit you. All right, I'm getting there. No,
Speaker 2: you don't have to get there.
Speaker 1: It doesn't bother me as much. It's just because I
Speaker 1: had that fucking osmosis Jones ass disease because of my
Speaker 1: OCD with like chewing and sounds.
Speaker 3: Osmosis Jones.
Speaker 1: Yes, like the movie where Will Ferrell eats the. You
Speaker 1: were in your Will Ferrell eating.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like what is going on?
Speaker 1: Will Ferrell's diet in Osmosis Jones.
Speaker 2: Wait, not Will Ferrell. Bill Murray.
Speaker 1: Same fucking difference. Bill Murray.
Speaker 3: You're saying me? Well, he was eating the fucking yolk eggs. Josiah,
Speaker 3: you ate boiled eggs. You ate boiled.
Speaker 2: Eggs every day for like six months.
Speaker 3: And you would eat it in the car. Confident, charismatic, empathetic.
Speaker 1: He would eat it in the car.
Speaker 2: In like a Tupperware container.
Speaker 1: And he would drive from OC to like middle of
Speaker 1: LA in the hot summer.
Speaker 3: With all my groceries.
Speaker 1: All your groceries, including eggs that have sat in like
Speaker 1: a Ziploc bag or a little Tupperware.
Speaker 3: And they were good as fuck.
Speaker 2: And just like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 4: Raw.
Speaker 2: That he would eat them raw.
Speaker 3: Raw.
Speaker 1: No, you can't do that.
Speaker 3: No, I was not eating any eggs raw. That's not correct.
Speaker 2: No, I'm saying no sauce or like salt and pepper
Speaker 2: and shit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, just pop them
Speaker 2: in there raw. Literally boiled eggs.
Speaker 3: Because it's good protein. It's very good bioavailable protein. Some
Speaker 3: of the best you can get.
Speaker 2: Well, now they all got salmonella.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Um.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm kind of off the eggs right now.
Speaker 1: I know, it's so annoying.
Speaker 3: I think they're tricking us, though, because the lettuce.
Speaker 1: Wait, guys, should we just not vote or do anything
Speaker 1: for midterms and kind of see where the world can
Speaker 1: go if the FDA continues to be unfunded?
Speaker 2: Yes, I love that idea.
Speaker 3: Everyone's going to die.
Speaker 1: Because we were scared Red 40 was going to be
Speaker 1: taken away. What if we don't have eggs and stuff?
Speaker 2: They're going to take away the healthy food.
Speaker 1: They start making the Red 40.
Speaker 2: They're going to take away the healthy food. They're going
Speaker 2: to feed us all the poison and then sell us
Speaker 2: the cure with Ozimbic.
Speaker 3: It's so textbook. It's literally like, hey, we're the government.
Speaker 3: And by the way, lettuce and eggs are poison. And
Speaker 3: it's like, okay, so we can't eat anything healthy.
Speaker 2: Josiah's been saying jackass lately.
Speaker 3: Yeah, fucking jackass. That's the best feeling, though. Like, Josh
Speaker 3: is a jackass.
Speaker 2: Josh is a jackass.
Speaker 3: It's driving me insane.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Lucas, ugh. I don't find Lucas to.
Speaker 4: Be a jackass.
Speaker 3: Lucas gets me all high, like my neck.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys just have like a very like little
Speaker 1: brothers of the family ass relationship.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're always fighting. Lucas and Josh and Josiah are
Speaker 2: always arguing. Especially Lucas though. And he's been trying it
Speaker 2: with me recently. Last night he was like really getting
Speaker 2: on my shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it literally is you, Josie.
Speaker 3: I do my own thing.
Speaker 1: You're the common denominator. You're like an antagonizer for sure.
Speaker 1: You're the happy antagonizer.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 3: I'm confident.
Speaker 2: Period.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: Josiah is so confident, actually.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm confident and charismatic.
Speaker 3: I would say I'm charismatic. I wouldn't say I'm confident.
Speaker 3: I'm not confident at all. I wish I was more confident.
Speaker 1: I think you're confident in a lot of aspects. I
Speaker 1: think you're confident in self and decision making.
Speaker 2: With the way you look, your confidence is just incredible
Speaker 2: to me. What?
Speaker 1: What? With the way you look here.
Speaker 3: He's saying, like, considering the way you look.
Speaker 2: Yeah. It's surprising you're so confident.
Speaker 1: Oh, he finds you to be brave.
Speaker 2: I just would not be as confident as you.
Speaker 3: The way I look is my least confident. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm the monster roaming the street.
Speaker 4: Oh, no.
Speaker 3: Like the barbarian mom, like, under the couch. That's just
Speaker 3: not true, Jesse.
Speaker 2: That is simply not true. Let's ask the audience.
Speaker 1: Literally everyone.
Speaker 3: Put it down below. You'll be surprised.
Speaker 1: All the happy smilers are going to come out and
Speaker 1: they're going to smile for you.
Speaker 3: The sad frowners.
Speaker 1: Would you ever cut your hair short and get like
Speaker 1: a boycott?
Speaker 3: I've thought about it recently.
Speaker 2: On your debut album.
Speaker 1: Hello.
Speaker 2: I'm a boy now.
Speaker 1: That's a little too dramatic because you have such a
Speaker 1: girlish look. It would really read like.
Speaker 2: You just came out.
Speaker 3: I just came out as straight.
Speaker 1: No, you came out as a lesbian.
Speaker 2: Fuck you, bro.
Speaker 3: I'm going to get a beard.
Speaker 4: Ew.
Speaker 2: Ew.
Speaker 1: I'll be a boy forever. I have congestion.
Speaker 3: I'm like Peter Pan.
Speaker 2: And you're like porn.
Speaker 1: Half of it yeah it probably is whatever like this
Speaker 1: is she's drinking blue it's my shield she's drinking blue
Speaker 1: well I had to I needed some shields because I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm around spirits that are kind.
Speaker 2: Of dangerous um monitoring spirits older women just pay attention
Speaker 2: older women posting on IG posting on Facebook posting on TikTok,
Speaker 2: they love that goddamn portrait mode on the camera. They
Speaker 2: love the blurred background.
Speaker 1: Maybe because they're the star.
Speaker 2: In this moment, all eyes are on me.
Speaker 1: And a very rare thing most older women can say that.
Speaker 2: Even on FaceTime. Even on FaceTime, they love the portrait mode.
Speaker 2: My mom has it on FaceTime. My mom has it
Speaker 2: on FaceTime, too.
Speaker 1: My mom doesn't have it on.
Speaker 2: Okay. Camera died. The TV glowed. The TV glowed. Or
Speaker 2: is it glue?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so the camera exploded.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, it's actually, it might have been broken
Speaker 2: for real. It might be broken.
Speaker 1: And there's nothing to laugh about in that department.
Speaker 2: We have a huge upgrade. We're using Josh's massive cinema camera.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Josh!
Speaker 2: So the thing is, everybody's going to see this and
Speaker 2: be like, why have they not been using this fucking
Speaker 2: camera the whole time? But any conversation we were having
Speaker 2: before that, like, doesn't matter anymore because.
Speaker 3: Things have changed.
Speaker 2: I recorded.
Speaker 1: What did it frames 20 minutes make?
Speaker 2: I recorded a TikTok in between. I was just like, oh,
Speaker 2: let me invent, like, a new TikTok trend. So I
Speaker 2: invented a new TikTok trend and it's where you start
Speaker 2: with the ugly face and then you go to hi bitch. Also,
Speaker 2: I'm like completely joking by the way, but The most
Speaker 2: important part about this story.
Speaker 1: The craziest part about this story is you thinking you're
Speaker 1: the first person to do this.
Speaker 3: That's the craziest.
Speaker 1: Part of the story.
Speaker 2: Here we go.
Speaker 3: Here we go.
Speaker 2: Because I'm pretty.
Speaker 1: Sure that was a trend. It was.
Speaker 2: It was. But I did, like, the ugly, like, Neanderthal
Speaker 2: face thing. And then I switched to just regular mode.
Speaker 2: But when I showed Josiah, Josiah was like, oh, that's
Speaker 2: a good idea. Like, do the ugly face. And then
Speaker 2: switched to bold glamour. Bitch, he thought I had bold
Speaker 2: glamour on. That's how, like.
Speaker 3: I did because you were wearing all that damn makeup.
Speaker 2: I look good.
Speaker 3: Drew's wearing makeup all the time. He wears blush. He
Speaker 3: wears mascara.
Speaker 1: And I look good. You got so hyped up. You
Speaker 1: had absolutely nothing to say. I look good. Don't go
Speaker 1: too crazy feeling yourself now.
Speaker 3: And then Drew tried to get me. He was like,
Speaker 3: how do I save this? How do I save this?
Speaker 3: Help me save this. I know, he started actually speaking.
Speaker 3: Because Drew has been doing that to me. Josh does
Speaker 3: it to me a bunch. And Anya's... Anya's doing it too.
Speaker 3: She's done it like once or twice.
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 3: Like, with, like, needing help with something a little technological,
Speaker 3: like with the TV or something.
Speaker 1: Oh, no, no, no.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I'm not going to do it for
Speaker 3: y'all anymore because I'm like, I don't want y'all to
Speaker 3: turn into Unk.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is.
Speaker 3: Because that's how you turn into Unk. You start having, like,
Speaker 3: younger people do stuff for you with, like, technology. And
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, no, no. Y'all need to keep learning.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't know how to save it, but I
Speaker 2: figured it out.
Speaker 3: You did it. Exactly.
Speaker 2: Like 10 seconds later, you're like, oh, I figured it out.
Speaker 2: I would have saved 10 seconds of my life had
Speaker 2: you just did it. See, I would have lost 10 seconds.
Speaker 1: I just think the technological based knowledge I have is
Speaker 1: more than enough.
Speaker 3: It's going to start getting crazier and crazier.
Speaker 1: No, but I don't want to be a part of that.
Speaker 1: A part of that. Your phone is going to.
Speaker 3: Be in your teeth. That's what I'm telling you. My
Speaker 3: phone's going to be in my teeth. Your phone's going
Speaker 3: to be in your teeth.
Speaker 2: I'm going to derail real quick. Don't forget to just
Speaker 2: kind of keep an eye on this because this might
Speaker 2: overheat or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this one's going to explode too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, it's hot as fuck.
Speaker 3: Ryan left the group chat recently. One night. And then
Speaker 3: acted like it was an accident and said that her
Speaker 3: phone exploded.
Speaker 2: It was crazy. Oh, sorry.
Speaker 3: My phone exploded.
Speaker 2: And then India mud wrestle like right after it was
Speaker 2: like a hot.
Speaker 1: Everyone got so offended from her saying my phone exploded
Speaker 1: and they were all getting on her about it. So
Speaker 1: I said mud wrestle because they were playing dirty.
Speaker 3: Which made no sense. It was just like so out
Speaker 3: of nowhere. It was like mud wrestle.
Speaker 1: I remember sending it. I'm pretty sure I was in Miami.
Speaker 1: When that happened, no. Or was this like, I just
Speaker 1: don't think I was here, but I remember I had
Speaker 1: just smoked and I looked down and saw that hole
Speaker 1: back and forth.
Speaker 3: And your first thought was mud wrestle.
Speaker 2: Mud wrestle. The girls are fighting.
Speaker 3: We need to give us some props. We've kept that
Speaker 3: group chat going for like eight years now.
Speaker 2: I know. It's ebbs and flows.
Speaker 3: And we're still decently active in it.
Speaker 2: Every once in a while it'll pop off when I'm
Speaker 2: not around, bitch. I am the only person that has
Speaker 2: kept that fucking group chat alive. If I hadn't been
Speaker 2: reminding y'all that it's there just by sending little shits
Speaker 2: here and there.
Speaker 3: Josh too, randomly. Yeah, Josh too.
Speaker 1: I think Josh might be the most active in there,
Speaker 1: which isn't saying much because it's not an active group chat.
Speaker 3: Lucas is probably the least active in it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Because he just, he chimes in when shit's already going on,
Speaker 3: but I don't think he ever wants to like start.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Like, the conversation.
Speaker 2: But it really gets active when I'm not there.
Speaker 1: Well, I find group chats, like, a bit much. I
Speaker 1: can't lie.
Speaker 2: It's crazy. And when I'm not there, it gets active.
Speaker 3: The group chat's not a little too much. No, I
Speaker 3: find group chats in general.
Speaker 1: Well, I have it on Do Not Disturb.
Speaker 2: Well, same.
Speaker 3: But with y'all, it's like, that's family.
Speaker 1: We already did, like, two people. I'm trying to understand
Speaker 1: you and your weird, like... grammatical mannerisms i don't want
Speaker 1: to have to involve 18 other hosts who are going
Speaker 1: to chime in and like i can't tell who's talking
Speaker 1: to who.
Speaker 3: I feel you too the only group chat i will
Speaker 3: participate in genuinely is ours yeah because i'm like i
Speaker 3: don't it's not hard to understand.
Speaker 1: The council though i will say i'm active in that.
Speaker 3: I had a group chat with jd bantz and charlie
Speaker 3: kirk Are.
Speaker 1: You saying that because I said the council?
Speaker 3: Because I'm talking about my personal council.
Speaker 2: He's the one that released Brat, right?
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 3: And it was on Telegram.
Speaker 2: No, Charlie Kirk.
Speaker 3: Do y'all use Telegram a lot?
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I actually... If I see Telegram on someone's phone that
Speaker 2: isn't a foreigner, I'm like, you're up to no good.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 2: It was Telegram.
Speaker 4: 100%.
Speaker 2: It's freaky shit. You are up to no good in
Speaker 2: so many ways. It's like.
Speaker 3: It's, like, a super, like, encrypted, like, chat app.
Speaker 2: Like, WhatsApp vibe.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But, like, even more, like, they're just always, like, the
Speaker 3: security is... That's what I feel, like.
Speaker 1: About somebody using Telegram.
Speaker 3: Like, oh, who is he? Well, they use it for
Speaker 3: shady practices.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah.
Speaker 2: Like, the drug dealing and shit on there, I'm, like, sure. Like, we'll, like,
Speaker 2: buy the drugs.
Speaker 3: But, like, once it starts.
Speaker 2: Yeah. That's when I'm, like, oh.
Speaker 1: Oh, I never... I never even thought about that. Yeah.
Speaker 2: See, it gets real freaky on there. When I see
Speaker 2: it on people's phones, the eyebrows just raise.
Speaker 1: Well, see, I feel like I start to sound... kind
Speaker 1: of old head but I won't lie I am and
Speaker 1: have always been pretty vocal about the idea of children
Speaker 1: should be like not allowed to be on the internet
Speaker 1: like borderline illegal like I think it should be borderline
Speaker 1: illegal for like children to have full like the way
Speaker 1: it becomes like a parental issue within the like judicial
Speaker 1: system or whatever the fuck if somebody isn't bringing their
Speaker 1: kid to school is Actually, yeah, same thing should happen
Speaker 1: if come to find out your kids having full access
Speaker 1: to the internet and like being groomed.
Speaker 2: Someone is going to make a trillion dollars making a
Speaker 2: kid internet. I don't know what it's going to look like.
Speaker 1: Somebody actually did.
Speaker 4: Really?
Speaker 1: Or not, they didn't make the money, but somebody literally made,
Speaker 1: I think as of right now, I haven't done any
Speaker 1: research on it, but it's like this box you connect
Speaker 1: to your internet and And it creates a separate, like,
Speaker 1: Wi-Fi setup for children and coded in is only, like,
Speaker 1: access to.
Speaker 2: Like Wikipedia articles.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like child-friendly based things. Like educational. But it's, yeah.
Speaker 3: It's like a leapfrog tablet. I would have been fucking
Speaker 3: pissed when I was a kid if my mom would
Speaker 3: have done that. I would have been so mad.
Speaker 2: I would have unplugged it.
Speaker 1: Like, as a teenager, I'd say, fuck you, I should
Speaker 1: be able to send nudes to this random guy.
Speaker 2: This random 40-year-old.
Speaker 3: I've never spoken to on the phone.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So, like, I don't know the gender of the baby, really.
Speaker 1: Or the age.
Speaker 3: Well, then the grandma is the baby.
Speaker 1: The grandma is always the baby.
Speaker 3: Oh, Jocelyn became... Why did we say that?
Speaker 1: That was crazy.
Speaker 3: Because the grandma is the baby.
Speaker 4: Always.
Speaker 2: She got.
Speaker 3: She's a victim of AI slop now as well. She's
Speaker 3: making a cartoon show.
Speaker 1: Oh, my God, dude.
Speaker 3: Someone called the grandma is the baby.
Speaker 1: But that's one of those things that's like... Well, we...
Speaker 1: We knew that was rotted when we got there.
Speaker 2: Like, Jocelyn.
Speaker 3: Jocelyn?
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: No, no, no. Well, someone recently, like, tapped into AI.
Speaker 3: I'm scared she's going to see this.
Speaker 2: That's why I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I mean, listen.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's kind of like a pleasure. I would
Speaker 2: fold for her. If she wanted to beat the fuck
Speaker 2: out of me, I'd be like, this is crazy. I'd
Speaker 2: bend over. Yeah, I'd be like, you can beat the
Speaker 2: fuck out of me.
Speaker 1: I just don't think he would because I'm like, I
Speaker 1: would be like, Listen, I would get in her DMs.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, listen, woman to woman, we have to
Speaker 1: get FruityTube back up and running because for the first
Speaker 1: time in my life, I went to go use it
Speaker 1: and it wasn't working. And I was like, this is embarrassing.
Speaker 4: Oh, wow.
Speaker 2: Where's FruityTube?
Speaker 1: It's like a search engine somebody created that you can
Speaker 1: type in words for the podcast and it highlights in that.
Speaker 3: That is so good. Whoever made that, like you're going
Speaker 3: to make a million dollars one day, by the way.
Speaker 1: One day, sadly not here.
Speaker 3: By your mind.
Speaker 1: That's like not a chance.
Speaker 3: That ship has sailed. They should be at MIT.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Because we were building the ship, but the ship sailed.
Speaker 2: The ship sunk.
Speaker 1: Well, we had the dates all wrong. Yeah. So we
Speaker 1: missed the dates.
Speaker 2: The ship sunk.
Speaker 3: The tourism ruined.
Speaker 1: So the ship was in.
Speaker 2: But guys, guys, we're treasure at the bottom of the
Speaker 2: ocean waiting to be discovered.
Speaker 3: Atlantis, Atlantis.
Speaker 1: Yes. literally understand justin saying this is gonna ruin the
Speaker 1: world tour because that is how march 2025 the world tour.
Speaker 3: Is over this is gonna ruin the world.
Speaker 1: Tour like listen.
Speaker 3: And the cop being like um so you're schizophrenic like
Speaker 3: not realizing it's just intimately oh.
Speaker 1: My gosh um what were we.
Speaker 2: Talking about fruity tube jocelyn cabaret oh yeah.
Speaker 1: I would dm her i would say listen woman a
Speaker 1: woman go to be like why.
Speaker 2: Are you calling me a woman Yeah, she'd be like,
Speaker 2: I'm a queen.
Speaker 1: And she is. And notice how my head went to bow.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: She has such a powerful presence that I would like,
Speaker 3: probably be shaking i'd probably like to me it's not.
Speaker 1: Even powerful though because i to me i'm like of
Speaker 1: course she's powerful does she like run baby she owns
Speaker 1: businesses like actually does um because i would argue to
Speaker 1: even have the confidence and the de-gaffery to make an
Speaker 1: ai show shows like yeah you are in a place
Speaker 1: in your life who's gonna check her who's gonna tell
Speaker 1: you no and i love that for you like god
Speaker 1: bless um but i would tell her i'd be like
Speaker 1: hey you know it's all love If you go to
Speaker 1: this website, I'm going to link it to you, and
Speaker 1: you search your name, you will see infinite praises.
Speaker 2: Yeah, true.
Speaker 3: That's true.
Speaker 1: So don't let this.
Speaker 3: One comment float to the top. Jocelyn is the queen
Speaker 3: of Zeus, too. Fuck Natalie Nuna. I don't care about it.
Speaker 2: She's a bum.
Speaker 3: I genuinely think she's a bum and she's a pimp.
Speaker 3: She's weird. Like, her and Lemuel Plummer, I'm like, y'all
Speaker 3: are fucking weird people. But Jocelyn, I'm like, she actually is, like,
Speaker 3: kind of trying to give these girls, like, careers and
Speaker 3: like you know i can look at people and see
Speaker 3: i see i see people's intentions in their eyes like
Speaker 3: i can see it in their heart in their eyes
Speaker 3: and she's pure-hearted like she might make a check.
Speaker 1: A little bit feels wrong because i'm like oh she's
Speaker 1: not like powerful as much as like uh i don't
Speaker 1: know she feels like encanto that's her i mean that
Speaker 1: movie is about her you know really.
Speaker 3: Is she bruno no no she's she would not natalie
Speaker 3: natalie nunn is bruno jocelyn's the grandma and the grandma is.
Speaker 1: The baby natalie nunn oh my god you like i
Speaker 1: remember the confidence of jojo siwa gets into the wrong
Speaker 1: hand she switched.
Speaker 2: Up again did y'all see natalie nunn she has jojo
Speaker 2: has a new persona i know oh no i know
Speaker 2: i know.
Speaker 1: But you know what that's okay i i give the
Speaker 1: free pass of that behavior until 25.
Speaker 3: Yeah, not 25 yet?
Speaker 2: She's reinventing herself.
Speaker 1: No, dude, she's a jit.
Speaker 3: You know what I was talking about the other day?
Speaker 3: She's a kid, like, and she's been on TV since
Speaker 3: she was.
Speaker 1: Like, six.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, ooh, like, I gotta give her a
Speaker 3: lot of grace.
Speaker 2: Well, that's what we always say. We always say that.
Speaker 2: Poor girl. We're like, girl, like, let her live.
Speaker 3: I wonder, she's with that guy still, right?
Speaker 1: Why didn't we just turn into pop culture's, like, corner?
Speaker 1: You got one gay guy in the room, you know?
Speaker 3: I'm not gay, though. Drew is gay.
Speaker 2: I'm not gay. Ooh, said that.
Speaker 1: What comes around goes around, goes around, goes around.
Speaker 3: Come back around.
Speaker 1: I'm Justin Timberlake, but my God.
Speaker 3: I mean that album.
Speaker 1: I mean that music. Let's just listen to that music.
Speaker 2: Separate the art from the artist.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: You know who hated him?
Speaker 1: That's what I do with Natalie Nunn because actually.
Speaker 3: Natalie Nunn.
Speaker 1: I'm doing what I want.
Speaker 2: That's a good song. I'm doing what I want.
Speaker 1: That is a great song.
Speaker 3: If Nicki came out with that song in 2019, we
Speaker 3: would have been like, whoa. If that was on Chun-Li,
Speaker 3: we would have been like, whoa.
Speaker 1: I'm going to go as far as to say- I
Speaker 1: don't think Nicki could have done what Natalie Nunn did.
Speaker 3: On that song. No, she couldn't have. carefree.
Speaker 1: No, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: It's very like, I don't give a fuck, man.
Speaker 2: It's vulnerability, bro. I've been saying that recently.
Speaker 3: But you could hear it in her voice.
Speaker 1: She wasn't trying to act like she doesn't give a fuck.
Speaker 3: She's such a bum.
Speaker 1: Natalie Nunn? Yeah.
Speaker 2: What's she on about?
Speaker 4: Hell.
Speaker 2: Like, I don't really keep up. Like, what is she.
Speaker 3: Just running the baddie shit and genuinely, like, ruining these girls' lives.
Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
Speaker 3: She, to me, her and Lemuel Plummer are, like, pimps of, like,
Speaker 3: this generation. And it's, like, all these girls. And I
Speaker 3: feel like they're all getting into weird shit. And Natalie is, like,
Speaker 3: the producer on set who's like, go beat the fuck
Speaker 3: out of that girl. Which, like, mind you, Jocelyn has
Speaker 3: done that as well. But it's not as... But it's pure-hearted.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I know, we really can't. We'll beat the fuck out
Speaker 3: of her and then send her home and be like, get.
Speaker 2: The fuck out.
Speaker 1: I'm like, we're going to have to move on because
Speaker 1: we're really bidding to, like, listen, every soul is lost.
Speaker 1: We all need a little direction. Who would you be
Speaker 1: without your map?
Speaker 3: And Jocelyn's sober now. Is Drew your map?
Speaker 1: I just ate and threw up.
Speaker 2: Bitch, you ate and threw up all over. Yeah, she
Speaker 2: ate it and then.
Speaker 1: She threw it back up.
Speaker 2: Wait, did you say that, Joe?
Speaker 3: One of us did.
Speaker 2: You just ate and threw up.
Speaker 3: I think Anya said it. Drew, do you feel like
Speaker 3: Drew is your map in life?
Speaker 1: No, map isn't the right word.
Speaker 3: What? Is that a good thing?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes. To me, Drew is like, you know,
Speaker 1: in movies when somebody has a map out and it's
Speaker 1: like in their room, it's like all these pins in it.
Speaker 1: And it's like, I went here for this, like you're
Speaker 1: a pin in my map. Like in my head, on
Speaker 1: my pin, I would have like tiny silver ones for
Speaker 1: just places I've been. But then where the people I love.
Speaker 3: You'd have like a red one?
Speaker 1: It'd be a red one. Red one. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: You're my red pill.
Speaker 2: Take the red pill. What if you lit a match
Speaker 2: inside of a man's gaping butthole?
Speaker 3: Dude, that's what I was saying last night.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Josiah was asking me that very genuinely. What would
Speaker 2: happen if you dropped it in? And I was saying
Speaker 2: it's a vacuum inside. No, I think it's a vacuum.
Speaker 2: So I think the match would go out because there's
Speaker 2: no oxygen in there.
Speaker 3: Well, it depends on whose too because yours is like
Speaker 3: a black hole.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: It's massive.
Speaker 2: It's huge.
Speaker 3: You look inside of it and you get sucked in.
Speaker 3: I still can't believe.
Speaker 1: Your constipation lifestyle.
Speaker 2: It's really diabolical. When I went to the bathroom just now,
Speaker 2: it was like, oh, I'm going to go try to
Speaker 2: go to the restroom. Pebble came out.
Speaker 1: This is so fucked up to say to you, but
Speaker 1: I am so back to regular that I had an
Speaker 1: emoji come out of my butt today. I fully just
Speaker 1: had an emoji come.
Speaker 4: Out of my butt.
Speaker 1: An emoji?
Speaker 2: See, I was really hoping the cottage cheese was rotten
Speaker 2: so it would like, They kind of regulate me.
Speaker 1: Start pump your guts.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Just have some lettuce, eggs, blueberries. Oh, and then you
Speaker 1: can have a few outshine popsicles.
Speaker 2: There's food being recalled that have never been recalled before.
Speaker 3: Why did you just say you had an emoji come
Speaker 3: out of your ass?
Speaker 2: Like the poop emoji. It looks so like emoji-like. Oh, okay, okay.
Speaker 3: I thought you were just saying like an emoji. And
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, bitch, like what do you mean
Speaker 3: yellow and green and red?
Speaker 2: Drewmoji emoji restaurant.
Speaker 1: It was the crying laughing emoji actually.
Speaker 2: Drewmoji emoji restaurant.
Speaker 3: Emoji restaurant's never going to happen, Drew. Unless you make
Speaker 3: it happen.
Speaker 1: Can one company out there, just for some reason.
Speaker 2: Please believe in me.
Speaker 1: Invest.
Speaker 3: The bills have been affected.
Speaker 1: Okay, invest is the wrong word because I would insinuate
Speaker 1: that there's money coming back to you. Maybe the money, it's.
Speaker 2: Going to be gone. Oh, baby, there will be a
Speaker 2: line around the blog. It will be in Melrose.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it would be like a museum of ice cream
Speaker 3: kind of moment.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 2: Emoji restaurant.
Speaker 1: That's what I was going to say. Like in there,
Speaker 1: there's like the emoji restaurant, but it's not really a restaurant.
Speaker 2: It's going to take months to get a reservation. Okay,
Speaker 2: we could ask Community.
Speaker 1: Goods to get in on it. Okay, that's our grift.
Speaker 1: That's our grift.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 1: We use that connect. We beg them. And we're like,
Speaker 1: not to like sponsor, but they'll make the drinks and
Speaker 1: then we'll sneak in at the end and be like, oh,
Speaker 1: there's community goods at the Drew Moji restaurant.
Speaker 2: It opens another location. So the line gets cut in half.
Speaker 2: I see. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So they'll be down.
Speaker 3: Well, they open a community goods over in Washington, D.C.
Speaker 3: Do you know that?
Speaker 2: Actually.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's right next to the Tabernacle.
Speaker 1: Did you know that they opened community goods in Orange County,
Speaker 1: but it turned out that they weren't talking about the
Speaker 1: coffee shop? The community goods in question was your mother.
Speaker 2: Okay, like what? And she's passed around.
Speaker 3: No, she's not passed around. She's a very respectable Christian woman.
Speaker 3: She's a God-fearing woman, and she's a good person.
Speaker 1: Also, I feel like we should give context for people
Speaker 1: who actually live in the real world. Community Goods is
Speaker 1: a coffee shop in L.A. that, like many coffee shops
Speaker 1: on the planet right now, have the longest line on
Speaker 1: the planet. Which, okay, not too much because I can't lie. Again,
Speaker 1: another proof in my pudding. I love lines. Line culture
Speaker 1: is always like, I'm satisfied.
Speaker 3: I hate it. I can't do it.
Speaker 1: I'm satisfied.
Speaker 2: And that's why you're going to love Emoji Restaurant.
Speaker 1: Because it's going to be lines.
Speaker 2: It's lines around the block. And also it's going to
Speaker 2: be months to get reservations.
Speaker 1: Months?
Speaker 2: Like people are going to try to get a reservation
Speaker 2: and they're going to have to book it months out.
Speaker 2: Maybe even up to six.
Speaker 3: Sorry, I farted. I'm sorry. I can't hold it in.
Speaker 2: No, you can. You can.
Speaker 3: It is very warm in here. And I feel like
Speaker 3: when I'm warmer, I'm farting more. So maybe cool up
Speaker 3: the house. Cut off my feet.
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. I'm pretty sure that.
Speaker 3: There's science.
Speaker 1: There is science to that.
Speaker 3: You're the science.
Speaker 1: The science is I have. I mean, I hate how
Speaker 1: often we've been talking about poop, but I literally like
Speaker 1: I get like poop shy when it's too cold. Like
Speaker 1: I can't be like.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like people who can sit on the toilet butt naked
Speaker 1: nasty when it's cold.
Speaker 2: Like a Rick James Super Bowl.
Speaker 3: Taking a shit butt naked is really, really like.
Speaker 2: Primal. Primal.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's like eating an orange in the shower.
Speaker 1: Or eating an orange, like, actually at a water river. Oh,
Speaker 1: my God. There's going to be children who will never
Speaker 1: see a river because of data centers, mind you.
Speaker 2: Rerouting the water supply.
Speaker 1: They're going to be playing on the pipes along the rocks.
Speaker 3: And I'll be like, I love the pipes. Mommy, can
Speaker 3: we go play at the pipes today?
Speaker 2: Actually, by the way, by the way, I literally, Glen Rose, Texas,
Speaker 2: someone who's watching will know what I'm talking about. There was...
Speaker 2: literal water pipes that we would play at. Like, we
Speaker 2: would go up to Glen Rose and we'd be like,
Speaker 2: let's go to the water park. And it was just, like,
Speaker 2: four or five pipes that we would, like, swim inside and, like,
Speaker 2: go down rocks.
Speaker 3: It was in Dinosaur Valley.
Speaker 1: Do you know if they were connected to, like, a.
Speaker 2: Sewage?
Speaker 1: Like, a river or something?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was, like, helping the river flow.
Speaker 1: There's, like, river runoff.
Speaker 2: But we were just playing at the pipes.
Speaker 1: Okay, see, but that's still cute. I'm talking... No, no, no, baby.
Speaker 1: There's no water. It's just the pipes.
Speaker 3: Well, Drew was getting piped.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was.
Speaker 3: Drew is getting dicked down. Drew, are you late for
Speaker 3: your dick appointment?
Speaker 2: Always.
Speaker 3: You're always late for your dick appointment.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm late.
Speaker 1: I think if you're somebody who's, like, really keen on jumping, like,
Speaker 1: cliff jumping and shit like that, I don't want to
Speaker 1: be in your car.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be in your camp either.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't want to be around you.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Like, people who are super, like, like, thrill seekers, like,
Speaker 1: that bitch, get the fuck away from me.
Speaker 2: It's like that one dude that, like, drove his Tesla
Speaker 2: off the cliff.
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 3: Is that real?
Speaker 2: Yeah, with his family inside. Everybody survived.
Speaker 3: Because it flies?
Speaker 2: It was on the PCH. Yeah, well, Tesla's, they found
Speaker 2: out Tesla's fly. It was a secret feature Elon Musk
Speaker 2: put inside.
Speaker 3: Every Tesla in this country.
Speaker 1: It's a monthly subscription, though.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Guys, I don't have a Tesla anymore.
Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
Speaker 2: Yeah, blow up the Teslas.
Speaker 3: Every Tesla in this country, because I don't know anyone
Speaker 3: that I care about that has one.
Speaker 2: So that's not true. I am so happy. My Tesla
Speaker 2: is gone.
Speaker 3: Get a Honda, get a Toyota, get anything but that.
Speaker 1: Well, it's because the used car market sucks so bad
Speaker 1: and like the value of a Tesla is butt fuck
Speaker 1: because everybody wants to get rid of theirs.
Speaker 3: That's how they save so much money.
Speaker 1: So even if there was a world where they could
Speaker 1: sell a Tesla for a decent amount to get a
Speaker 1: used car that isn't going to be a money pit,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure is like minimum if you're lucky in
Speaker 1: a major city, like 50%. $ 15, 000. And that's still going
Speaker 1: to be a car that's going to run into issues.
Speaker 2: Horrible.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're a used car connoisseur. Yeah, my family
Speaker 1: is like a used car.
Speaker 3: Dude, I ran through like three cars in a minute.
Speaker 3: And now I have a Honda, so I'm like, thank God.
Speaker 3: I'll keep my Honda as long as I can. Just
Speaker 3: wait until you get that Volvo. Oh, I do want
Speaker 3: a Volvo one day because they're so safe. There hasn't
Speaker 3: been a death in a Volvo SUV since like 2001.
Speaker 1: Oh, wow.
Speaker 3: They invented the seatbelt and then they didn't trademark it
Speaker 3: because they were like, well, we want everyone to be
Speaker 3: able to use this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2: That's so fierce. Guys, I went to my favorite fucking restaurant.
Speaker 2: It's my favorite place on earth.
Speaker 1: My favorite fucking restaurant.
Speaker 2: Because it's the only place I've been able to eat
Speaker 2: shrimp without going into anaphylactic shock. And I've done it
Speaker 2: since getting my like shrimp allergy diagnosis, whatever the fuck
Speaker 2: it's called. And I've gone back twice and hadn't had
Speaker 2: an allergic reaction. And I was like, bitch, I'm going
Speaker 2: to go and get shrimp. I love the shrimp there.
Speaker 2: I think they changed their shrimp formula or they sourced
Speaker 2: different shrimp or something. Bitch, I ate one piece. I
Speaker 2: started itching immediately. Throat itchy really bad. Tongue swelling. One shrimp.
Speaker 2: And I was like, bitch, I'm so glad I didn't
Speaker 2: eat the whole basket because like I would have gotten
Speaker 2: into full blown anaphylactic shock. And it like hit my
Speaker 2: stomach in a crazy way. Like I didn't have like
Speaker 2: diarrhea or anything, but like it just like It just
Speaker 2: felt like I was being poisoned on the inside. It
Speaker 2: was horrible.
Speaker 1: Oh, my God. um i don't have that issue and
Speaker 1: i just ate recently at the restaurant you're talking about
Speaker 1: and it was so good so while you were talking
Speaker 1: i was daydreaming.
Speaker 2: You could like be like oh drew i'm so sorry
Speaker 2: that happened to you like i hate that for you
Speaker 2: like That's such a horrible experience.
Speaker 3: No, it's okay because.
Speaker 1: You know what? You should just be happy for your
Speaker 1: friends who can consume shrimp while we have some real shrimp.
Speaker 2: Left to eat.
Speaker 1: Because soon we're going to be eating gummy worms.
Speaker 2: The data center's got this shrimp too.
Speaker 3: I can eat shrimp and I choose not to because bitch,
Speaker 3: that's fucking disgusting.
Speaker 2: Careful. Sorry.
Speaker 1: He's far too upper echelon for shrimp.
Speaker 3: I'm too upper echelon for shrimp.
Speaker 1: No, cleaned shrimp. It's because you're thinking of degenerates who
Speaker 1: are cooking doo-doo shrimp. No, you got to pull the
Speaker 1: poop out. Come on.
Speaker 3: I just don't like fishy fishy.
Speaker 1: Fishy fishy.
Speaker 2: Fishy suave. I love seafood. That is good.
Speaker 3: I don't like fishy fishy. I like bok bok. I
Speaker 3: like chicken. And I like pork. And I like beef.
Speaker 3: But I do not like fishy fishy. you think I'm
Speaker 3: gay with all this I don't like fishy fishy I
Speaker 3: love that's probably why you can't have fishy fishy gay.
Speaker 2: I'm not gay bro I clocked your shit you did
Speaker 2: clock me you read me the filth gay people can't
Speaker 2: eat fish I know I know the box I know
Speaker 2: well that's cause it's illegal Roddy Ricch the box wait
Speaker 2: was he talking about vaginas in that song.
Speaker 3: I don't know that's actually a good question we'll get
Speaker 3: into that later should.
Speaker 2: We insert this picture again yeah let's insert this picture.
Speaker 3: Again wait what's insert I need to get in the gym.
Speaker 3: One time Drew said, I need to go. He was
Speaker 3: trying to say, I need to go in the gym.
Speaker 3: But he said, I need to go inside the gym.
Speaker 1: The worst part is we were in the living room
Speaker 1: at the whole place. And he was like trying to
Speaker 1: get himself to leave the house because he really needed
Speaker 1: to go to the gym. I mean, he was like,
Speaker 1: I just need to go and get inside the gym.
Speaker 3: Oh my God, Drew, that is.
Speaker 2: Inside the gym.
Speaker 3: That I think is the best... flub that you've ever.
Speaker 2: Had josiah says it to me all the time are you.
Speaker 3: Trying to get inside the gym just trying to get
Speaker 3: inside the gym because even if you said it right
Speaker 3: inside you're saying you're trying to get inside the gym
Speaker 3: like why wouldn't you say i need to go.
Speaker 1: To the gym like i'm trying to go to the.
Speaker 2: Gym such that just reminded me i want to go
Speaker 2: to the gym.
Speaker 1: Of the most like vivid memory i guess i can't
Speaker 1: say that because there are many blank spots in this
Speaker 1: memory that i claim is vivid And it's actually so uninteresting,
Speaker 1: but it was just.
Speaker 3: Like a night.
Speaker 2: Cool story, bro. Bitch, I literally, like, I'll start talking
Speaker 2: about something and I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 1: So I had a thought.
Speaker 2: You know what?
Speaker 1: Actually. I think we all have thoughts, honestly. And we
Speaker 1: all have hunger. I need to figure out what's the
Speaker 1: physical activity that's going to get me moving because at
Speaker 1: Daisy Chain Fields, I.
Speaker 3: Who the fuck is Daisy Jane?
Speaker 1: Jackson.
Speaker 3: Why the fuck they named the whole festival after her?
Speaker 2: Backshot's Pollock.
Speaker 1: No, I'm pretty sure Daisy... Backshot's Pollock?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was just trying to think of it.
Speaker 3: Animal Pollops? Jackson Pollops?
Speaker 2: Backshot's Pollops?
Speaker 3: That sounds like a dream.
Speaker 1: Backshot's Prolapse. Everything means something to me.
Speaker 3: Drew showed me the craziest prolapse video.
Speaker 2: And it was me.
Speaker 3: Can I say that on here?
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course.
Speaker 3: He showed it to me. It was a... Oh, my God.
Speaker 3: And it was a whole thing unfurling like a fruit
Speaker 3: roll up. And it makes my eyebrows like, it makes me.
Speaker 2: You know the videos where they like have that like
Speaker 2: inflatable mesh that they put inside tubes and it pushes
Speaker 2: all the mud out.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 2: And it's like, and it grows. That's what the prolapse
Speaker 2: looked like.
Speaker 3: What is going on? If your prolapse is that far out.
Speaker 3: What is going on? It's time to stop. You got
Speaker 3: to move on to something else. You can't do anal anymore.
Speaker 2: It is becoming a sin. It is actually a sin
Speaker 2: at that point. I'm not kidding.
Speaker 3: When you showed me that video, I was like, okay,
Speaker 3: so this is why God is smiting.
Speaker 2: This is a sin. When I see gay sex like that,
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, this is demonic.
Speaker 3: Even straight. It could be a straight person. I don't
Speaker 3: care if your ass is prolapse and the prolapse is
Speaker 3: hanging down to your ankle. Baby, you are done. You're
Speaker 3: going to die soon. That can't be good. That can't
Speaker 3: be okay.
Speaker 2: How does it go back up?
Speaker 3: I don't know, Drew.
Speaker 2: Does it retract?
Speaker 3: Because they had it rolled up and they just let
Speaker 3: it out and they were like, here's my red carpet.
Speaker 2: Like, girl, ew.
Speaker 1: Oh, no. My rectal red carpet.
Speaker 4: Ew.
Speaker 3: How much money would it cost for you to have
Speaker 3: a prolapse like that?
Speaker 1: Like 25K. In this economy, that's all you're going to
Speaker 1: ask for, bro.
Speaker 2: That's all I'm going to get.
Speaker 1: That's true.
Speaker 3: That's a good point.
Speaker 1: Think of your fucking hospital bills. That's what I'm thinking.
Speaker 2: You don't go to the hospital for a prolapse.
Speaker 3: How do you keep that not infected? How do you
Speaker 3: know that's going to- It comes back up. Just naturally?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like do a Kegel on it.
Speaker 3: That must hurt.
Speaker 2: It probably feels good. If you have a prolapse, please
Speaker 2: call in. Imagine the air- I wish I had a
Speaker 2: phone here. Imagine the air hitting your colon, like that's outside.
Speaker 3: Probably feels very good.
Speaker 1: It's true.
Speaker 2: Or like imagine someone going up to it and doing this.
Speaker 1: Actually, we have to stop because I'm not kidding. I
Speaker 1: am not kidding. Within this conversation for the first time,
Speaker 1: I just actually had the vision of human anatomy and
Speaker 1: really what a prolapsed anus is. Oh, my God. Please stop.
Speaker 3: I saw Josiah's balls.
Speaker 2: I saw Josiah's balls last night.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: Because Drew decides to pull the blanket off of me.
Speaker 2: Because you were being mean as fuck.
Speaker 3: And I'm like sitting there minding my business, twirling my
Speaker 3: skin down there. And like as anybody would do, because
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm going to bed. I'm getting comfortable with myself.
Speaker 3: I'm meshing inside my body.
Speaker 2: You're jerking off in front of me and Enya.
Speaker 3: I have my thumb up my butt.
Speaker 2: You're meshing with your body?
Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, becoming one with everything. And then
Speaker 3: Drew pulls the blanket off me and I'm like.
Speaker 1: He was grounding himself. I was.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's real. I remember one time Orion and I, when
Speaker 1: we were staying together in a hotel.
Speaker 2: Playing with those pubes.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I can't remember which one of us. Girl. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Speaker 2: Please, no. Don't say.
Speaker 1: Oh, no.
Speaker 3: Oh, no.
Speaker 2: What is that from?
Speaker 3: That's from my rap verse. Oh no, I gotta run
Speaker 3: real fast.
Speaker 1: Oh no. Oh no.
Speaker 2: Can you do your scream like that?
Speaker 3: I have to finish this.
Speaker 1: Orion was doing her makeup because she was going to
Speaker 1: leave early for this event. And I was sitting on
Speaker 1: the bed right next to her. And she was in
Speaker 1: front of a mirror, like crisscross applesauce naked with a robot.
Speaker 1: And she was literally playing with her fucking pews.
Speaker 2: And you were in bed playing with your pews.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. But like that was, I remember.
Speaker 2: It's cute.
Speaker 1: I remember. But that dream, that dream, that was only
Speaker 1: such a fond memory because that was, that was so
Speaker 1: long ago at this point.
Speaker 2: Remember when y'all cried in bed next to each other?
Speaker 1: Yes, but the memory I'm thinking of is literally like 2021,
Speaker 1: which I'm like, that was five years ago. Guys, as
Speaker 1: you can tell, Drew and I just woke up. We
Speaker 1: just woke up.
Speaker 2: We have arrived.
Speaker 3: Remember when we all hugged?
Speaker 1: When? Like, I feel like we hug often.
Speaker 2: Dude, Josiah, you scare me, bro.
Speaker 3: Drew, is it Josh? No, Josh started calling me an
Speaker 3: experiment last night.
Speaker 1: You are.
Speaker 3: Why is she laughing so damn hard?
Speaker 2: You're the experiment, bro.
Speaker 3: I'm not an experiment. I'm a human. By the way,
Speaker 3: anyone who's listening, if you know me and you think
Speaker 3: I'm an experiment. I'm a human.
Speaker 1: I have healing.
Speaker 3: Exactly. I am a human.
Speaker 2: I'm a human.
Speaker 3: What about eight inches and thick?
Speaker 1: Huh?
Speaker 3: What about eight inches and thick?
Speaker 2: Come find out.
Speaker 3: Come find out. Come find out. You want me to
Speaker 3: do my scream?
Speaker 2: Wait, let me record.
Speaker 3: Actually, no, I have a session tomorrow. I can't.
Speaker 2: Can you do it one more time? No, it's okay.
Speaker 1: You don't have to.
Speaker 2: Unless you want to.
Speaker 3: That's like the video of the mom with the kid
Speaker 3: who she's like, wait, cry, cry. You're putting too much
Speaker 3: at the camera. And he's like, no, I'm actually crying though, mom.
Speaker 1: No, he goes like this. He tries to like listen
Speaker 1: to her. And he goes like this. She's like, no, no, no. No, no, no.
Speaker 1: Hand here.
Speaker 3: Hand here.
Speaker 1: Don't cover your mouth. Don't cover your mouth. Aw. Drew,
Speaker 1: just do the head motion. Ah! I was going to
Speaker 1: say you didn't need to do it again. We have
Speaker 1: the audio recording, so we could have just had it
Speaker 1: lip sync.
Speaker 3: But I did it again. And again and again and again.
Speaker 2: Again and again and again and again.
Speaker 3: Well, y'all asked me if I could do a prank
Speaker 3: call on the pod today. Do you want me to
Speaker 3: prank call? Oh, my God, yes. I'm prank calling Prada.
Speaker 1: Because it's actually 8,000 degrees in here.
Speaker 2: I was going to say Prada is the one.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Prada.
Speaker 3: So classy. They can put all the classy music they
Speaker 3: want to on it. You still have long wait times.
Speaker 1: Well, you're calling after hours right now. Thank you for
Speaker 1: calling Prada Client Service. Ms. Malwala, how can I assist you?
Speaker 3: Hi, how are you doing today?
Speaker 1: I'm well, thank you. How are you?
Speaker 3: I am good. Thanks so much for asking. Actually, I'm
Speaker 3: calling because I have a question about store policy, and
Speaker 3: I was wondering if maybe you could help me out
Speaker 3: with that.
Speaker 1: Sure, what's your inquiry?
Speaker 3: Okay, so if I'm going into the store, I'm in
Speaker 3: Los Angeles, so there's a few locations in Southern California,
Speaker 3: I think. If I want to go in and I
Speaker 3: want to eat on the shoes and bite on them,
Speaker 3: if I want to eat the shoes, can I go
Speaker 3: in and can I do that?
Speaker 1: Because I want to taste before. Let me think about
Speaker 1: that for a moment.
Speaker 3: Say, because I want to taste it before. Yeah, it's
Speaker 3: like kind of a try before you buy taste test.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I totally understand. Just let me think.
Speaker 3: The most understanding person I've ever got. Does she know
Speaker 3: what I said?
Speaker 1: Is there anything else i could answer for you oh.
Speaker 3: Okay well if i if i purchase them then i
Speaker 3: can right just like not before i purchase them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely. Whatever you purchase, you can do whatever you'd
Speaker 1: like with since you own it. Is there anything else
Speaker 1: that I could assist with?
Speaker 3: I think maybe. Well, thank you so much for calling Prada. Oh,
Speaker 3: she was like.
Speaker 2: Well, no, they've been trained. They've literally been trained.
Speaker 3: I changed their rules.
Speaker 2: No, Josiah actually fundamentally changed a call center's rule because
Speaker 2: all of these designer stores use the same call center rules.
Speaker 2: And they have, like, a warning about Josiah calling to
Speaker 2: ask to eat the shoes.
Speaker 3: Coach doesn't because they're bums.
Speaker 2: Sorry, Coach. We are located on the seventh floor across
Speaker 2: from Apple. Okay.
Speaker 1: Our store hours are Monday through Saturday from 8 a.m.
Speaker 1: to 8 a.m.
Speaker 2: And 11 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Speaker 1: On Sundays.
Speaker 2: Not too much.
Speaker 1: I'm picturing that against the Coach Topia's.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay. I'm getting in on it. I'm getting in
Speaker 3: on it.
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling Coach at the Beverly Center. This
Speaker 1: is Laura.
Speaker 3: How can I help you?
Speaker 2: Hi.
Speaker 1: Hey. Hi.
Speaker 3: How can I help you? Hello?
Speaker 1: Hello?
Speaker 2: Hi.
Speaker 1: I am.
Speaker 3: This is Coach, right? At Beverly Center?
Speaker 1: Yes, it is.
Speaker 3: Okay, great. I bought a gift for my friend a
Speaker 3: couple of days ago at your store. It was like
Speaker 3: a purse, like a bag. And her birthday's coming up tomorrow, but.
Speaker 3: I hadn't opened it. It just kind of sat in
Speaker 3: the bag in my house and I opened it today
Speaker 3: and I realized that there is like a massive, almost
Speaker 3: like a bite mark taken out of the purse, like
Speaker 3: a chunk missing. And I don't, I just am calling
Speaker 3: because I'm like, what the hell? Like, I've never seen
Speaker 3: that before.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. Well, you said you bought it a
Speaker 1: few days ago?
Speaker 2: Yes, I did.
Speaker 3: And I still have the receipt and everything. I just
Speaker 3: am like, it's crazy. It's like huge. It looks like
Speaker 3: a horse bite, like the size of a horse.
Speaker 2: Are they shipped on horse carriage?
Speaker 1: That does not sound right at all.
Speaker 2: Are they shipped on horse carriage?
Speaker 1: You're more than welcome to bring in the product with
Speaker 1: the proof of purchase and we can take a look
Speaker 1: at it for you.
Speaker 2: Are they shipped by horse carriage?
Speaker 1: See if we can swap the.
Speaker 2: Bag out for a different copy of the same item.
Speaker 1: Yeah, unfortunately, there's nothing I can do over the phone,
Speaker 1: but I would suggest definitely bring it in to us.
Speaker 3: We can see if we can swap it out for you.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: I mean, that would be incredible. What time are y'all
Speaker 3: open till today?
Speaker 1: We're open until eight o'clock tonight.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: And is there like manager on site right now or no?
Speaker 1: There's always a manager on site.
Speaker 2: Period.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 3: Well then I guess I'll just bring it. What time
Speaker 3: y'all open tomorrow?
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: And also, I mean, you've never, this has never happened, right?
Speaker 2: This is like very strange.
Speaker 1: It's definitely the way you're describing it. I have never
Speaker 1: heard of anything like that happening before.
Speaker 3: I know. I could not believe it when I opened
Speaker 3: the box. I was like, that's, I think that's a
Speaker 3: massive bite taken out of the purse.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I absolutely want to see that. If you'll bring
Speaker 1: in the product to the room, Virgin, we can definitely
Speaker 1: get it taken care of for you.
Speaker 3: Are you going to be in tomorrow?
Speaker 1: I will not be, but my other managers will be
Speaker 1: on site to absolutely help you out as well. All right.
Speaker 3: I'm going to take a picture, too, so you don't
Speaker 3: miss out.
Speaker 1: Please.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so sorry that happened. Hopefully, we'll be able
Speaker 1: to get it solved for you tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Okay. Well, I.
Speaker 3: Also, I did... I took the bite out of the bag.
Speaker 1: It was me. Well, that's... if it was you unfortunately
Speaker 1: there's nothing we can do about the the uh the damage.
Speaker 3: Well i well maybe we just keep this between us
Speaker 3: you're not going to be in tomorrow so i'll just
Speaker 3: bring it in and see what they can do i
Speaker 3: just wanted to get it off my chest i'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Poor no worries we'll just bring the product in with
Speaker 1: the proof of purchase and we'll see what we can get.
Speaker 3: Done for you okay well thank you so much what
Speaker 3: was your name again.
Speaker 1: Clock it.
Speaker 3: Okay, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: All right, lovely talking to you. Have a good night.
Speaker 2: Bye, you too.
Speaker 3: She was great, and she's keeping it.
Speaker 2: We're thick as thieves. We're thick as thieves. She's fierce.
Speaker 3: Bleep her name out.
Speaker 1: That was making me sweat.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 2: I feel sick.
Speaker 1: If somehow this comes across to.
Speaker 2: You, girl. You're a real-ass bitch.
Speaker 3: You're a real-ass fuck.
Speaker 2: We love you.
Speaker 3: There's been people who've come up to y'all and been like,
Speaker 3: so I was working at the place that got called.
Speaker 1: Yes, I think I've said it on the podcast. I
Speaker 1: was having dinner in New York, and somebody came up.
Speaker 3: I called Nordstrom again asking if I could eat the shoes,
Speaker 3: and they literally said, is this Josiah? And I was like,
Speaker 3: I think I just hung up.
Speaker 1: Well, that's the issue is you tell people your name
Speaker 1: and you call from your number.
Speaker 3: Because they're not going to pick up an unknown number.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I love calling the hotels. And also, I don't
Speaker 3: give a fuck. What are they going to do? Track
Speaker 3: me down? Oh, call the police on me because I'm
Speaker 3: prank calling you.
Speaker 1: Calling Chateau and telling them you're going to get in
Speaker 1: the pool is so good.
Speaker 2: Because they're so fucking rude.
Speaker 1: They're so rude.
Speaker 2: We call the Chateau Marmont and we're just like, we're
Speaker 2: just going to go swimming right now. How do I
Speaker 2: get in the pool? Yeah, I want to just go swimming.
Speaker 2: And they're like, what?
Speaker 3: And they're like, are you staying here?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, no. All right. I just want to swim.
Speaker 3: I just want to get in the pool.
Speaker 2: And they get so pissed.
Speaker 3: Also, I love calling hotels and trying to negotiate the
Speaker 3: rates as well. And be like, well, let's get that
Speaker 3: down to like 50 a night and I'm going to
Speaker 3: come there right now. Okay, I'll see you soon.
Speaker 2: And they're like, no, no, no.
Speaker 3: We're asking them, do you do hourly? They get very
Speaker 3: angry because I think they think like prostituting. All right,
Speaker 3: Drew's fell asleep.
Speaker 1: He's passing out because it's like a sauna in here.
Speaker 3: I'm going to go back there. Or do you guys
Speaker 3: just want to do media? Yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2: Media of the week.
Speaker 1: Eek, eek. I just looked at Drew's phone so crazy.
Speaker 3: Media of the week.
Speaker 2: You were like Beyonce looking at Jay-Z's phone at the
Speaker 2: basketball game. There's people who be looking at phones. I'm like, oh.
Speaker 1: Is that people who look at phones?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, mind your fucking business.
Speaker 2: My media is Under Your Spell by Desire, Bernadette Frost Children,
Speaker 2: and Pink and Blue by Hannah Diamond.
Speaker 1: And?
Speaker 2: Josiah. Or Josie.
Speaker 1: Josie's someone I never knew.
Speaker 3: Thank you, yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, of course. Duh, I've already said that three times. Oh,
Speaker 2: have you? Yes.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 3: My media is someone I never knew by this new artist, Josie, who's, like,
Speaker 3: very interesting.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Like, so, I don't know. Everybody look into him. And
Speaker 3: then also the Emperor's New Groove.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's a great rewatch.
Speaker 3: And also Wife Swap. Like, old episodes of Wife Swap
Speaker 3: we've been watching. Crazy.
Speaker 1: So insane.
Speaker 2: Insane.
Speaker 1: Really, really great. Like, that's when those kind of series,
Speaker 1: to me, I'm like, this borders documentarian-style media.
Speaker 3: Also, Raven Linnaeus' new album.
Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
Speaker 3: You probably already said that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I say it, like, every week.
Speaker 3: It's, like, all I've been listening to.
Speaker 1: It's too good.
Speaker 2: And....
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't really have any, like, crazy media. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I haven't been, like, watching anything.
Speaker 2: You were watching something when I came upstairs. I just
Speaker 2: watched Spongebob and stuff.
Speaker 1: Mommy Dearest?
Speaker 2: Was it Mommy Dearest?
Speaker 1: I watched Mommy Dearest recently.
Speaker 3: A Woman Under the Influence. Watch that.
Speaker 2: I watched that recently.
Speaker 3: Jesus Christ. Oh, I know, I know, I know. Gina Rollins,
Speaker 3: what a great actress. Rest in peace. Also, Here You
Speaker 3: Come Again by Dolly Parton.
Speaker 4: Aw.
Speaker 2: Rest in peace, baby.
Speaker 1: Hard Candy Christmas. clocking that's gonna be a hard lesson
Speaker 1: like actually i listened i listened to it when i
Speaker 1: found out it made me so sad okay well guys
Speaker 1: be safe be love be laughter.
Speaker 2: Um you are the universe encounter or perceiving itself oh your.
Speaker 1: Knee skin is wrapped around the tip of your knee
Speaker 1: like a fucking uncircumcised penis.
Speaker 3: Be confident be charismatic.
Speaker 2: Also i am so sorry i had my nasty hairy
Speaker 2: legs showing this whole time i always get insecure about
Speaker 2: that
Speaker 1: Thank you.