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Speaker 1: Morning Run with Amy and TJ and iHeartRadio Podcast. Good

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Speaker 1: morning everyone, It's Sunday, June fifteenth. Welcome to this episode

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Speaker 1: of Amy and TJ and your Sunday Morning Run where

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Speaker 1: we talk about our quotes of the day for the week,

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Speaker 1: hoping that it will help you reflect on what the

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Speaker 1: week was and how you're starting your new week on

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Speaker 1: this Sunday. And so we will begin with our first

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Speaker 1: quote of the day for our week. TJ, don't ruin

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Speaker 1: a good day today by thinking about a bad yesterday.

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Speaker 1: Let it go. I know you especially liked this one.

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Speaker 2: I mean, so, why are that the simplest things are

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Speaker 2: sometimes the hardest things to do. That is so simple,

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Speaker 2: just figured about what happened yesterday? Move on. Why can't

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Speaker 2: we do that?

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Speaker 1: Oh we're dwelling on it, overthinking it, and it's just

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Speaker 1: and it ruins the present. It really takes away any

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Speaker 1: joy or anything you could be getting out of the

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Speaker 1: right now because you can't let go of what happened

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Speaker 1: yesterday or last week or last year. It really can

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Speaker 1: weigh us down for years.

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Speaker 2: I am one of your I've told the story in

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Speaker 2: front of you before. It was one of the books

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Speaker 2: you gave me, I can't. It's either Michael Singer or

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Speaker 2: it's totally But the example that was used about walking

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Speaker 2: down the street and you notice a baby and a

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Speaker 2: stroller and being pushed, and you all pass each other

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Speaker 2: on the street and you see that baby, go o,

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Speaker 2: am I going to It's such a cute kid. Da

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Speaker 2: da da da. The baby passes you, gets ten feet away,

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Speaker 2: twenty feet away. Everybody you're walking away from each other.

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Speaker 2: You don't think about that baby. Again, that was used

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Speaker 2: as an example of why is that not how you

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Speaker 2: treat a problem, a confrontation, an issue, or even yesterday

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Speaker 2: you just went past it. You're getting more and more

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Speaker 2: distance from it. Why are you still thinking about it?

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Speaker 2: That I've used that as an example. You just have

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Speaker 2: to let stuff go. But it is difficult, it is

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Speaker 2: a challenge to do in practice.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I believe it was see I can't remember it

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Speaker 1: was Eckhart tool or Michael Saker who said, there are

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Speaker 1: no problems. There are just situations that need to be addressed.

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Speaker 1: And if you can look at that, even something that

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Speaker 1: happened yesterday, instead of having an emotional attachment to it,

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Speaker 1: if you can just step back and say this is

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Speaker 1: just an issue that needs to be addressed, and either

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Speaker 1: you can address it now or you can't. And if

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Speaker 1: you can't address it now, you got to let it go.

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Speaker 1: So don't ruin a good today by thinking about a

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Speaker 1: bad yesterday. Let it go. Attribution No, In fact, so

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Speaker 1: it's been attributed to so many different people. I was

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Speaker 1: laughing from Hotocopy to Mel Robbins too, like there were

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Speaker 1: just there was no consensus on who originally said it.

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Speaker 1: I think people have said different versions of it. But

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Speaker 1: I liked the way this was worded.

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Speaker 2: We should put it out there and attribute it to

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Speaker 2: you or to me, And I mean everybody else is

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Speaker 2: getting credit.

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Speaker 1: For it, right, Hey, we just said it, So it's

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Speaker 1: there you go now, Okay, moving on to our next

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Speaker 1: quote of the day, And this is from the files

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Speaker 1: of TJ. Holmes, And this so sounds like you, I

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Speaker 1: don't work for acceptance. I am what I am. If

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Speaker 1: you like it, that's nice. If not, I couldn't care less.

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Speaker 2: They I cannot remember where I got this. I love

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Speaker 2: this one. Where did this come from? But I like

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Speaker 2: the end of we We don't work for acceptance. Even

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Speaker 2: we all want to be liked, don't we? Yes, some

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Speaker 2: don't admit that, but we do. We actually do want

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Speaker 2: people to accept us. We want to be a part

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Speaker 2: of a group. We want to be we want to

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Speaker 2: be liked. We just do. That's just human nature. But

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Speaker 2: to embrace this idea, that to acknowledge that, Yep, I

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Speaker 2: want it. But if I don't get it, yeah, with it.

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Speaker 1: That's hard.

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Speaker 2: That's what a lot of people don't do.

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Speaker 1: I believe a lot of people and that includes me.

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Speaker 1: This is a huge, huge area for me that I

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Speaker 1: have got to work on because I believe not only

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Speaker 1: do we want to be liked by everyone, we need

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Speaker 1: to be loved. And if you're constantly looking for or

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Speaker 1: outside reassurance, or you're outsourcing your power by giving, you're

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Speaker 1: literally giving other people the power when you say, if

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Speaker 1: you like me, I'm going to feel good. If you

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Speaker 1: don't like me, I'm going to feel bad. Wow, you

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Speaker 1: give away your power. And I do this all the time.

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Speaker 1: I'm working on it. I see myself doing it. The

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Speaker 1: first step is recognizing, holy crap, i'm doing this. I

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Speaker 1: don't even want to say this. I don't even want

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Speaker 1: to be here, I don't even want to be doing this,

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Speaker 1: but I'm doing all of the above because I want

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Speaker 1: that person to like me.

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Speaker 2: Wait, who do you do this for?

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Speaker 1: In general?

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Speaker 2: Like where because a lot of people are listening to

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Speaker 2: you successful.

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Speaker 1: You at work, I can say I did it all

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Speaker 1: the time.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, in what no, now, in your life, let's

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Speaker 2: take that out of it. In what capacity are you

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Speaker 2: do you find yourself still trying to please and get

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Speaker 2: people to like you and end up putting yourself in

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Speaker 2: a position to do things you don't even want to

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Speaker 2: do for the sake of accepting.

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Speaker 1: I'm less in that position now because after the big

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Speaker 1: moment in our lives where everything changed and so we were,

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Speaker 1: I had a much bigger group of friends. I obviously

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Speaker 1: had a big job with a lot of people I

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Speaker 1: worked with and for, and with all of those people,

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Speaker 1: I was creating a bubble, almost an insular bubble, for myself.

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Speaker 1: So I always had people who I knew would be there,

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Speaker 1: or would be around, or would be able to like.

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Speaker 1: And I was trying to protect myself from actually having

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Speaker 1: to feel scared and secure alone all of those things.

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Speaker 1: And now that that all imploded and exploded, yes, I'm

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Speaker 1: in a much better position. I don't think I do

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Speaker 1: that as much anymore. But I still want to remember

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Speaker 1: that I did and remember why I did that, so

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Speaker 1: I can continue to grow. And this sounds so cheesy,

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Speaker 1: but you have to like yourself. You have to love yourself.

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Speaker 1: And if you can like yourself and love yourself, and

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Speaker 1: some of that comes with creating boundaries and to not

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Speaker 1: do things you don't want to do, then you start

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Speaker 1: to like yourself. You start to respect yourself then and

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Speaker 1: guess what, everything else flows from there.

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Speaker 2: All right, take that with you, folks. I don't work

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Speaker 2: for acceptance. I am what I am. If you like it,

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Speaker 2: that's nice. If not, I couldn't care less. Wednesday quote,

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Speaker 2: you went back to Aristotle for this one.

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Speaker 1: I always like to go way back for one of

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Speaker 1: the quotes of the week, just because it's fun to

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Speaker 1: recognize that it didn't matter what time in the world

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Speaker 1: you were born, we're all facing and dealing with the

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Speaker 1: same shit. So Aristotle said this, we are what we

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Speaker 1: repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.

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Speaker 1: That's empowering, because if we choose excellence and we choose

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Speaker 1: to be the best we can be, and we do

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Speaker 1: that often and with intention, it will just become a habit,

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Speaker 1: and it will create the excellence you're seeking.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's never I think we see the finished product

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Speaker 2: too often with people these days and their success or

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Speaker 2: even being excellent at whatever they might be doing, and

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Speaker 2: we we do we think, Okay, that just happened in

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Speaker 2: front of me, and what we're seeing is repetition over

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Speaker 2: a long period of time. Just put in a public form,

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Speaker 2: because people who are performing in front of us, who

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Speaker 2: are doing anything excellent, the number of times they had

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Speaker 2: to screw it up somewhere else in private, the number

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Speaker 2: of years it takes to achieve something like that is incredible.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, it does. It does become a habit that

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Speaker 2: could be in a talent you have. You can have

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Speaker 2: excellence in how you interact with people. You can be

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Speaker 2: excellent and being kind because that's a habit as well.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been trying to be excellent in not raising

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Speaker 1: my voice. I fail still, but I'm trying to repeatedly

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Speaker 1: remind myself certain things. I actually always feel like so

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Speaker 1: much of life can be summed up. When you're training

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Speaker 1: for a marathon. I think about this too. You know,

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Speaker 1: when you create a habit, you say, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: get up and run four times a week regardless, and

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Speaker 1: then you find yourself being able to do remarkable things,

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Speaker 1: excellent things. I never thought I could run a marathon.

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Speaker 1: But when you get up and you repeatedly work at something,

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Speaker 1: and you choose it, and you choose excellent, all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden miracles can happen. So I love this empowering

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Speaker 1: quote from Aristotle. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then,

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Speaker 1: is not an act, but it happens. Our next quote

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Speaker 1: came from a very successful businessman and visionary, Henry Ford

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Speaker 1: of the Ford Motor Company. Love this one. Whether you

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Speaker 1: think you can or you think you can't, you're right.

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Speaker 1: The power of our thoughts is real, and it can

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Speaker 1: be used for good and it can be used for bad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't think you can do that thing. You're right,

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Speaker 2: you can't. That's true because that's what you just told yourself. Congratulations,

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Speaker 2: self fulfillment prophecy. You can't do that thing, all right,

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Speaker 2: let's move on. Well, if you told yourself you can't,

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Speaker 2: you know you're right as well. That's you actually can't.

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Speaker 2: That's the very simple Some of these quotes are plucked out,

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Speaker 2: they're so complex. If you will, but They're said in

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Speaker 2: the simplest of ways about the simplest of things. This

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Speaker 2: is so true. What are you going to tell yourself?

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Speaker 2: Can you can't?

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Speaker 1: You? Yeah? And you know what, I would urge because

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Speaker 1: I was thinking, this is what I wanted to take

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Speaker 1: away from this quote. Anytime I find myself thinking or

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Speaker 1: saying I can't, check yourself, recognize what you just did. Wait,

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Speaker 1: I just undermined myself. I just told myself I couldn't

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Speaker 1: do something, so of course I'm not going to be

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Speaker 1: able to do it. So I have been trying to

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Speaker 1: recognize when I use that word can't and just have

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Speaker 1: it just be an awareness. And when you find yourself

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Speaker 1: or hear yourself saying it, stop and say, wait, why

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Speaker 1: am I going there? Why wouldn't I say I could?

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Speaker 1: Why shouldn't I? Try and keep your thoughts positive and

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Speaker 1: believe in yourself. I love this. Whether you think you

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Speaker 1: can or you think you can't, you're right. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: Henry Ford.

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 1: Our Friday quote of the Day was one of my

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Speaker 1: favorites from one of the greatest comedians ever, a wise woman,

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Speaker 1: Lucille Ball. She said, and we've heard this quote in

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Speaker 1: many different iterations, but I like how she put it,

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Speaker 1: I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the

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Speaker 1: things I haven't done. I have talked about we have

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Speaker 1: talked about a version of this, but it was once

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Speaker 1: I read this that nurses who are in palliative care

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Speaker 1: the end of day's care, have said that a common

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Speaker 1: theme theme among people who are on their deathbeds. They

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Speaker 1: they reflect on their life and their biggest regrets were

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Speaker 1: things they didn't do. They didn't take that vacation to Tokyo,

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Speaker 1: they didn't go after the love of their life, they

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Speaker 1: didn't forgive that person that they held so much hate on,

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Speaker 1: you know, for so many years. They regret the things

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Speaker 1: they didn't do. And it's just such a reminder when

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Speaker 1: you do things and afraid of making mistake, and so

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Speaker 1: you don't you do them, and you make a mistake,

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Speaker 1: you still at least have the experience, You still at

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Speaker 1: least have the wisdom from doing it. When you don't

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Speaker 1: do something, you'll never know what could have been.

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Speaker 2: You have what do you have now as a regret?

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Speaker 1: As a regret, I'm trying to make sure they're not

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Speaker 1: there right now. I don't have a lot of regrets

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Speaker 1: about what I didn't do, because I've been working to

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Speaker 1: live that way. So I've taken the vacations, I've pushed

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Speaker 1: myself past fear in certain physical activities. I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: think of something I have regrets over because I'm really

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Speaker 1: trying to check off those boxes to do the things

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Speaker 1: that scare me, that do the things that where I

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Speaker 1: think I can't or I think there are plenty of

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Speaker 1: times in my life that I didn't think I could

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Speaker 1: do things, and I've pushed myself past that. Now, how

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Speaker 1: about you regret.

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Speaker 2: I think we've talked about there's plenty of time. I

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Speaker 2: don't deal in regrets. I just nothing. The only one

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Speaker 2: I've quoted and people asked me this was not continuing

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Speaker 2: my football career in junior high school.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that broken something you didn't do.

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Speaker 2: It's something I did not do. I was a better

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Speaker 2: football player than basketball player at the time, and I

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Speaker 2: went on to be a really good ballplayer. I just

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Speaker 2: wondered how good I could have been in football. That's

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Speaker 2: not only regret, like wow, why did I keep going?

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Speaker 2: But yeah, I broke my ankle and said that's it.

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Speaker 1: That's funny. I mean I see that, and you can

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Speaker 1: look at the different paths you take in your life.

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Speaker 1: I think I definitely there was a point in which

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Speaker 1: I just got my first job as a reporter in Charleston,

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Speaker 1: South Carolina, and a group of friends of mine who

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Speaker 1: I had been in acting school with all decided to

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Speaker 1: move out to LA and try to make it. And

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Speaker 1: they called me. They said, we need a fourth we

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Speaker 1: need a fourth roommate. Let's do this, Let's go for it.

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Speaker 1: And that had been a dream of mine to pursue acting.

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Speaker 1: And I just was too concerned because I had a job.

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Speaker 1: It was twenty two thousand dollars a year, but it

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Speaker 1: was a job, and I didn't go for it. But

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Speaker 1: that was my dream and I didn't go for it.

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Speaker 2: How did their careers go credits?

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Speaker 1: No, but they went for it.

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Speaker 2: They did.

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Speaker 1: They didn't make it, but they went for it. And

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Speaker 1: I remember feeling sad that I've looked back and thought,

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Speaker 1: I wonder what would have happened had I chosen that,

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Speaker 1: had I gone for it. You'll never know. And obviously

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Speaker 1: I am where I am because of all the different

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Speaker 1: experiences and choices we've made.

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Speaker 2: But maybe you could have been in a better place.

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Speaker 1: You don't know.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, but in a better home with a

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Speaker 2: better guy. I doubt it.

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Speaker 1: I doubt it. Yeah, and I think that that is

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Speaker 1: that is just something to keep in mind when you're

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Speaker 1: making choices in life. It's better to regret the things

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Speaker 1: you've done than the things you didn't get to do.

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Speaker 1: We have a bonus quote, as we've been doing every Sunday,

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Speaker 1: so this hopefully will start your Sunday off right and

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Speaker 1: take you through the week. If we take care of

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Speaker 1: the moments, the years will take care of themselves.

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Speaker 2: What do you make of this one?

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Speaker 1: I love this one. This is from Maria Edgeworth. She

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Speaker 1: is an Irish novelist who was born in seventeen sixty eight. Again,

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Speaker 1: another way back quote that still resonates today. If we

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Speaker 1: take care of the moments, the years will take care

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Speaker 1: of themselves. We all get caught in this trap where

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Speaker 1: we're thinking about, Okay, what's going to happen next year?

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Speaker 1: And where do I want to be in two years?

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Speaker 1: And where do I want to be in five years?

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Speaker 1: And what's going to happen when if my kid can't

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Speaker 1: get into that elementary school that we're trying to get

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Speaker 1: him or her in, or what if she doesn't get

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Speaker 1: into the college I want for her, or what if

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Speaker 1: my marriage doesn't work out, or what if I have

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Speaker 1: to move somewhere. We all are worried about the what

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Speaker 1: ifs and what might happen, and what we're trying to

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Speaker 1: plan for things that may never even come up, and

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Speaker 1: we're missing the moment. So if you take care of

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Speaker 1: yourself and your family and what you need and what

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Speaker 1: you want in the moment, the future you know, is

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Speaker 1: going to be what it is. And so I think

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Speaker 1: we future cast. I think that's the term the kids

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Speaker 1: use now. We're always future casting.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like a local weather man, right kind of.

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Speaker 1: But if we stay in the moment and we just

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Speaker 1: take care of us and ours now, the future will

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Speaker 1: be what it is.

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Speaker 2: You know, I gots stuck. It was such a New

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Speaker 2: York thing to say, and I got it. But I

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Speaker 2: can imagine living somewhere else and hearing that saying. People

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Speaker 2: worry about stuff. You worry about this, you worry about that, Oh,

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Speaker 2: you worry about where your kid is going to get

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Speaker 2: into elementary school.

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Speaker 1: That is a New York right, That's hilarious. You're right,

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Speaker 1: you're right. You can take whatever worry would be wherever

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Speaker 1: you live it, Yes, in Manhattan, it's like weighing on you.

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Speaker 2: Everyone's like from the time your child is born. By

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Speaker 2: the way, as a new born, people start asking you, yes,

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Speaker 2: that was.

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Speaker 1: Something relatable, perhaps only to people who live and are

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Speaker 1: insane New York City. That's funny, that's true.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, that's what's jumped out from because I understood it,

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Speaker 2: and I can't believe I now understand it because of

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Speaker 2: course I live in New York. But yeah, they're all

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Speaker 2: kinds of or worries out there. But yes, what's today?

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Speaker 2: You and I have so much going on. We're worried

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Speaker 2: about tomorrow and this week work and all these things.

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Speaker 2: Can we can we go enjoy this this weekend day?

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Speaker 2: Can we can go enjoy and have a good time

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Speaker 2: and not worry about anything else? You know what? The

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Speaker 2: years so far have been taking care of themselves, and I.

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Speaker 1: Just like the idea of that. It's it's I do

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Speaker 1: think a lot of it is control. You want to

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Speaker 1: control what's going to happen. You want to set a goal. Hey,

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Speaker 1: we're going to move here in three years, and here's

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Speaker 1: how we're going to do it. And you're trying to

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Speaker 1: control you have no idea what's going to happen tomorrow

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Speaker 1: that's going to change that entire plan. You have no

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Speaker 1: idea what's going to happen in a month that's going

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Speaker 1: to set you want a completely different course. And so

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Speaker 1: all that time we waste trying to control what we

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Speaker 1: think we want and where we think we're supposed to

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Speaker 1: go is a loss of experiencing what we have right now.

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Speaker 1: So I love this. If we take care of the moments,

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Speaker 1: the years will take care of themselves. Thank you, Maria Edgeworth.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to hopefully all of these wise

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Speaker 1: words that will get you thinking and maybe even get

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Speaker 1: you thinking a little differently. So on behalf of my

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Speaker 1: partner TJ. Holmes. I'm Amy Robot. Have a wonderful Sunday, everybody,