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Speaker 1: I love that you identified your own anger issues and

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Speaker 1: then went and then got help for your anger issues.

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Speaker 1: Nobody like, nothing terrible happened. Nobody had to intervene.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because I knew that that wasn't matching up to

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Speaker 2: the life that I wanted. I wouldn't be able to

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Speaker 2: take me and my little angry, crazy girl self and

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Speaker 2: do the things that I wanted to do. And that

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Speaker 2: was so clear to me. I said, this is not

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Speaker 2: going to row. It's not going to work in a workplace.

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Speaker 1: Hey guys, this episode is brought to you by boost Mobile.

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Speaker 1: When you look at the word boss, I mean her

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Speaker 1: face should just appear. As a young kid in London.

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Speaker 1: She was born an entrepreneur. She built billion dollar brands

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Speaker 1: like Good American and Skims, all while being a wife

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Speaker 1: and a mother of four. She's a trailblazer in business,

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Speaker 1: breaking barriers. Her debut book, Start with Yourself, is out

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Speaker 1: now and it got gems in it. Emma Greed is

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Speaker 1: our guest today on I rel Name Pierre. Emma. You

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Speaker 1: are out here working. I am out in these straight

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it's my algorithms gives me you,

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Speaker 1: my algorithm serves.

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Speaker 2: Me angling my way to you, Auntie, get me close down.

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Speaker 1: No, no, but you are working. We met recently for

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Speaker 1: the first time, not that recently in years. Was it

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Speaker 1: a year at the Skims Lawn store launch here.

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Speaker 2: In New York store launch. You were busy now you were,

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Speaker 2: you know, around with your friends and all, and.

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Speaker 1: You were no, you were already like no. They came

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Speaker 1: up to me and they were like, Emma Greed would

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Speaker 1: like to meet you. I was like, I would love

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Speaker 1: to meet her.

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Speaker 2: And I always I have no shame anyone I want

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Speaker 2: to meet. I'm like, I want to meet her. Can

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Speaker 2: you introduce me? Do you know her? I think it

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Speaker 2: was Tiana Taylor or somewhere. I was just literally like,

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Speaker 2: I want to meet Angie.

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Speaker 1: Oh, it's so sweet. It was, it was, It was lovely,

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Speaker 1: but yes, we didn't have a time to connect that.

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Speaker 1: I think even from that moment, even to now, from

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Speaker 1: last year to now, has your life changed tremendously or

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Speaker 1: it's just just from the outside that it seems like

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Speaker 1: it's changed.

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Speaker 2: Great question. You know, my life hasn't changed at all, really,

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Speaker 2: But it's so funny because I don't know that my

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Speaker 2: life feels like it's changed. For a really long time.

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Speaker 2: You know, there's such an interesting perception that's out there,

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Speaker 2: and honestly, it's one of the reasons that I wrote

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Speaker 2: this book because I honestly feel like people see one

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Speaker 2: version of you, and the reality of your life is

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Speaker 2: so different. So I was like, let me write a book.

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Speaker 2: It tells the truth about actually my life and what

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Speaker 2: it is.

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Speaker 1: It's not just the book though, it's the podcast. It's

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Speaker 1: your public presence is way more significant than it was

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Speaker 1: a year ago, for real.

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Speaker 2: But my work life hasn't changed. My life life hasn't changed.

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Speaker 2: And that's what I mean. I think the perception does

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Speaker 2: a funny thing. You know what it's like if you

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Speaker 2: have a bit of a following and people see you

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Speaker 2: on social media, they conflate the two things. They imagine

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Speaker 2: that you ran into your office, took a picture at

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Speaker 2: your desk, and went about your day. It's like, no,

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Speaker 2: I am working, like I'm actually working. I go in,

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Speaker 2: I work a role, I have a job. And so

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Speaker 2: it's interesting that people have become much more interested in me.

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Speaker 2: But the reality of my life is it hasn't changed

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Speaker 2: very much all but your profile, their profile has shifted,

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Speaker 2: and that I'm very aware of it's purposeful. I think

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to do it in a way where I

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Speaker 2: can equate what I've got now with some impact, because

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Speaker 2: I really know that there's so much that I can do,

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Speaker 2: and I'm very very focused.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes fame, because it's not fame you're really after,

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Speaker 1: but it's fame comes with the profile that you now have.

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Speaker 1: And I just wonder if it's I don't know, done

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Speaker 1: anything to you, surprise you in any way challenging to manage.

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Speaker 2: You know, for me, it's so interesting because all I

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Speaker 2: get is amazing women. You know, I'm not like famous, famous,

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Speaker 2: so no one's like checking for what I'm wearing. I

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Speaker 2: live like a normal and normal life. What I get

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Speaker 2: is women will stop me on the street. They will

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Speaker 2: slide me little notes in restaurants. I got this beautiful

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Speaker 2: note from this lady the other day, and I could

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Speaker 2: have cried. I was interviewing someone at the time, so

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Speaker 2: I couldn't read it.

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Speaker 1: I put it in my bag.

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Speaker 2: I got home and I was like you, she said,

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Speaker 2: you know. She was like, Emma, you have to understand

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Speaker 2: how much you mean to women like me, how much

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Speaker 2: you mean to women who come from a place where

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Speaker 2: they might not have had the right start, but they

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Speaker 2: are working and they're trying, and it was so heartfelt,

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Speaker 2: and she was so privileged. First of all, she didn't

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Speaker 2: even put her name or contact detail on there. She

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Speaker 2: just wanted me to know. And so I get a

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Speaker 2: lot of that and that, of course I never used

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Speaker 2: to get, you know, But at the end of the day,

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Speaker 2: it's my life is still the same. My life is

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Speaker 2: a series of problems every single day. You know, no

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Speaker 2: one calls me to say everything's going right. You know

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Speaker 2: we're selling out. They only call me with problems, and

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Speaker 2: so it hasn't changed all that much.

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Speaker 1: You have to know that this book is set up

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Speaker 1: for a humongous success. I mean, do you see that already?

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Speaker 3: Is that?

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Speaker 2: I hope? So? Yes, I mean so far. Listen, I'm

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Speaker 2: a day in so I don't want to come as

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Speaker 2: too much.

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Speaker 1: You have poured it so much in here that I

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Speaker 1: really want to use this as like, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: just the frame of our conversation. And then somewhere in

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Speaker 1: the beginning you mentioned women being exhausted, exhausted right exhaust

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Speaker 1: Somewhere in the beginning of it you said that, and

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Speaker 1: I thought, yes, women are exhausted because it's it's it's career,

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Speaker 1: it's emotional health, it's a family, it's mother parenting, it's

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Speaker 1: all love.

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Speaker 2: All relentless. It's relentless. We're getting so much phone at

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Speaker 2: us all the time that I thought, I'm going to

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Speaker 2: write a book that people use, not that they read,

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Speaker 2: because we've got enough to do. And so it was

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Speaker 2: really important to me that people would read this and

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Speaker 2: then they would get something and they could put it

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Speaker 2: into action in their lives.

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Speaker 1: I love how honest you are in the book about

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Speaker 1: some of the you know, anger and forgiveness and your

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Speaker 1: way of navigating some real life things. So we'll go

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Speaker 1: through that. But in this in the scheme of business

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Speaker 1: and money, I've heard you many times.

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Speaker 2: Talk about my favorite subject?

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Speaker 1: Is it really? It is money?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I want it to be every woman's favorite subject.

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Speaker 2: That's the time I'm working on that.

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Speaker 1: It's this is a big mistake I've made in my life, right,

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Speaker 1: It's like I feel like, yes, it's because I came

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Speaker 1: from a family and and a mentality of you know,

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Speaker 1: money isn't everything. Money can't shouldn't control you. Money is

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Speaker 1: the root of all evil. You know, all they care

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Speaker 1: about is money, you know, like really, And it's not

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Speaker 1: that I don't enjoy some of that.

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Speaker 2: Is like money doesn't solve all your problems, but it

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Speaker 2: solves all your money problems. And I feel like we

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Speaker 2: have to advocate for it for ourselves because no one's

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Speaker 2: coming to find you, no one's coming to give you

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Speaker 2: money or power or any of that. And I do

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Speaker 2: feel like as women, we have to take a level

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Speaker 2: of responsibility for the fact that we don't talk about

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Speaker 2: money as to why it eludes us, Why does it

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Speaker 2: miss us? Why are men paid so much more than women?

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Speaker 2: Why is that the case that it's so much easier

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Speaker 2: for men to raise money than it is for women.

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Speaker 2: And we all know that there are systemic barriers, there

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Speaker 2: are systems that keep us small. But at the end

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Speaker 2: of the day, we also have a part to play

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Speaker 2: in all of that, and I want us to recognize

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Speaker 2: that and recognize that we can change our behavior and

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Speaker 2: get more of it.

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Speaker 1: What are we doing wrong? What's the number one thing

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Speaker 1: we do wrong?

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Speaker 2: We are not talking about it now, We're just not talking.

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Speaker 1: How does that look? What does that look like?

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Speaker 2: Tell you what it looks like? First of all, it's

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Speaker 2: like education, right, I think about myself as always in

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Speaker 2: learning mode. Every day I'm learning something. And I learned

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Speaker 2: about money because much like you, I didn't come from

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Speaker 2: a place where a we had any money, so there

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Speaker 2: wasn't that much to talk about. It was always that

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Speaker 2: what don't we have? Where are we going to spend

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Speaker 2: what we don't have? How we keeping the lights on?

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Speaker 2: That That's what I learned. But when I got into

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Speaker 2: the professional environment, it was always like, you don't share

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Speaker 2: with your colleagues what you earn. You don't talk about money.

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Speaker 2: That's crass. And actually, what I think that we need

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Speaker 2: to do is put money right in the center of

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Speaker 2: our plans. We need to say I am worth this,

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Speaker 2: this is what I should be being paid. And we

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Speaker 2: need to educate ourselves. So you need to understand your mortgage,

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Speaker 2: you need to understand your investment planning, you need to

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Speaker 2: understand what's in your future. And if you don't know,

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Speaker 2: you've got to get to know. You've got to make

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Speaker 2: it your business because money and power then linked right,

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Speaker 2: inextricably linked. And we're in a place and time in

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Speaker 2: the world right now where we actually need more women

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Speaker 2: in positions of power. But again it's not gonna happen

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Speaker 2: with us. It's not gonna happen passively. It's our responsibility

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Speaker 2: to say, you know what, I need more of this,

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Speaker 2: and I'm going to advocate for myself, and I'm going

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Speaker 2: to educate myself, and I'm gonna learn as much as

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Speaker 2: I possibly can. And that's what I do all the time.

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Speaker 2: I ask questions.

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Speaker 2: I'm a creative business warm.

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Speaker 1: so I think sometimes where creative is concerned, like what

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Speaker 1: comes first, the creative or the opportunity to make money?

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Speaker 1: You know, I don't know. I just I just wonder

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Speaker 1: how you navigate that. Or all money ain't all money,

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Speaker 1: ain't good money. It's all money good money.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know most money's good money. I

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Speaker 2: don't know about you. He's a big money I think

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Speaker 2: most money is good money. Here's a being. I think

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Speaker 2: that it's really important that you're not sacrificing yourself for money, right.

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Speaker 2: I still think at the end of the day, I'm

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Speaker 2: still Emma from East London. I'm exactly the same person

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Speaker 2: that I was when I was twelve years old. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: there's not our integrity like bending or no, because I

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Speaker 2: don't think that you have to. I actually think that

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Speaker 2: you can care about money and care about a lot

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Speaker 2: of other things too. You can do deeply meaningful, impactful work,

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Speaker 2: creative work and be paid for it. And what we've

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Speaker 2: done is we've said, like, I'm a creative I'm a

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Speaker 2: nonprofit I do something so worthy therefore, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: absolutely not the two things can exist at the same time.

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Speaker 2: And too often we're giving away our gifts for free

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Speaker 2: before we've even valued ourselves, before we've even valued the service.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, there is never a time when it makes

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Speaker 2: sense to give something for free without a plan. I

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Speaker 2: worked for like a full year for free, like doing

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Speaker 2: workplacements back in the day when you could do that.

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Speaker 2: But it was always with a plan and a goal

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Speaker 2: for what I wanted. On the other side, it was

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Speaker 2: always with an aim that I'm going to get a

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Speaker 2: job at one of these places that's going to be

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Speaker 2: my entry point into fashion. So you have to have

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Speaker 2: a plan if you're giving away your services for free,

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Speaker 2: and you have to have a plan as to how

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Speaker 2: you're going to get to the money. That's important. That's

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Speaker 2: important stuff.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I think there's also you know, if you're a

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Speaker 1: business person, there's great stuff in here, but also just life.

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Speaker 1: There's just great life lessons in here. Like you talk

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Speaker 1: about planning your life in your twenties and your thirties

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Speaker 1: and then your forties you had a plan, like what

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Speaker 1: is my forties going to be?

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Speaker 2: Solarly?

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Speaker 1: I love this because we just had Jill Scott on

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Speaker 1: the other I love Joe. I died so Jill was on.

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Speaker 1: We had a great episode with Jill and she has

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Speaker 1: a theory about twenties, thirties, forties. It was Jill said,

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Speaker 1: when you're in your twenties you work hard.

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Speaker 2: Facts.

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Speaker 1: In your thirties you work smart. In your forties, work

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Speaker 1: how you want. In your fifties you work when you want,

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Speaker 1: and in your sixties you work if you want.

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Speaker 2: Love. Jill's got it down right, and she has got

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Speaker 2: it so down it's so good to me. Like that

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Speaker 2: is so good because that thing about like how you

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Speaker 2: work in your twenties, right, it's like there's a time

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Speaker 2: and a place, And I think what people don't really

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Speaker 2: understand is that life is so long. Like even the

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Speaker 2: idea that she's taken us from twenties to seventies, right,

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Speaker 2: it's that there's fifty years in between that. But we

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Speaker 2: really sort of overestimate what you can do in a

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Speaker 2: year and underestimate what you can do in ten. So

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Speaker 2: I like to make these plans for myself because it

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Speaker 2: helps kind of ground me in my decision making. I

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Speaker 2: know what to say no to because I know if

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Speaker 2: it's not taking me closer to one of my goals,

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Speaker 2: I don't need to do it, but I like to.

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Speaker 2: And I set the book up in the beginning I say,

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Speaker 2: have a vision for your life. That's not a vision board,

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Speaker 2: and it's not manifestation. So explained though that clearly ambition

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Speaker 2: needs to find you working. You cannot think your way

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Speaker 2: or consume your way. I love a podcast. I have

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Speaker 2: a podcast, but it's like you can't listen to podcasts

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Speaker 2: and think that that's going to get you closer to

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Speaker 2: where you want to go. You want to do the

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Speaker 2: work right. It's that we have to and.

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Speaker 1: Even the best seventy five self help.

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Speaker 2: Book doesn't matter. That's not going to help you. You

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Speaker 2: have to help yourself. And so I think when you

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Speaker 2: have a vision for like what type of person do

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Speaker 2: I want to be? What type of woman do I

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Speaker 2: want to be? What type of care and what are

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Speaker 2: my values? What are my principles, and then you work

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Speaker 2: out what you want your life to be like based

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Speaker 2: on that, you say, like, these are the things that

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Speaker 2: are important to me. My family is really important to me.

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Speaker 2: So I'm going to make sure that I've ring fenced

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Speaker 2: these moments in the year to do these things because

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Speaker 2: I want those memories. I'm going to prioritize X, Y

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Speaker 2: and Z in my work life because it's important that

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Speaker 2: I make this money and that won't happen unless I

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Speaker 2: get to there. So I think the plan is really

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Speaker 2: about mapping things out and then having a path and

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Speaker 2: where you're going to work towards it. It's not a

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Speaker 2: vision border.

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Speaker 1: It's also helpful full two so that you don't waste

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Speaker 1: your time doing things that don't serve you.

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Speaker 2: Right, Like, that's part of that Who had years like that?

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Speaker 2: Who had years where we get lost and we get

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Speaker 2: taken on someone else's agenda and that's what I don't want.

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Speaker 1: You said. You were talking here about how women, especially

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Speaker 1: we care so much about other people's things, Like it's

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Speaker 1: somebody underpaid, is somebody working too hard, it's somebody like

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Speaker 1: you for your kids, worry about everyone else but yourself

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Speaker 1: last on your list.

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Speaker 2: And I actually want to make sure that we are

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Speaker 2: like right at the top of our list of priorities.

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Speaker 2: As a mother of four, I think people get very

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Speaker 2: put off by that idea of me saying, you know,

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Speaker 2: I put myself first. I start with myself. But when

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Speaker 2: I'm good everyone, they.

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Speaker 1: Can't wait to you like all the things Miranda, Miranda,

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Speaker 1: they can't wait to do that to a successful women.

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Speaker 2: With me time. We're held to very different standards than

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Speaker 2: successful men, right because we have to be you know,

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Speaker 2: nurturing and empathetic and a baller and look good and

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Speaker 2: an incredible worfe And it's like that's impossible. That's why

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Speaker 2: I wrote this book.

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Speaker 1: That's why women are exhausted.

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Speaker 2: That's why we're exhausted that I want to say, like

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Speaker 2: there's a trade off, there is a way to do this,

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Speaker 2: you know. I feel like Oprah said it best. She said,

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Speaker 2: you can have it all but not all at the

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Speaker 2: same time, which is really true. But I want women

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Speaker 2: to choose. I don't want us to be kind of

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Speaker 2: taken on a journey. And I think that this book

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Speaker 2: is going to teach people how you get the choice.

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Speaker 1: But also you've you've chosen well in a partner.

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Speaker 2: Oh god damn, yes, who's helped you?

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Speaker 1: You talk about like the importance of you don't want

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Speaker 1: a business partner that's that you don't share responsibilities with equally,

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Speaker 1: and you don't want a marriage also where your partner

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Speaker 1: is not sharing.

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Speaker 2: I think who you choose to spend your life with

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Speaker 2: your private life is probably the most important business decision

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Speaker 2: you'd ever make, because they're either going to add to

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Speaker 2: you or they're going to really take away. And if

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Speaker 2: you don't have someone who's in support of the greater

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Speaker 2: vision of you and yourself, like you are in trouble.

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Speaker 2: Like you're in so much trouble.

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Speaker 1: Did you know that going into marriage?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what? I knew that. I mean, my

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Speaker 2: husband's Swedish, right, Like Swedish society is very interesting. It's

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Speaker 2: very matriarchal society, so there's this kind of balance from

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Speaker 2: the get go. But I also never assumed that I

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Speaker 2: would be the lead parent and have to teach him stuff.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's like I'm going to teach him how

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Speaker 2: to change a diaper and make a sandwich. Like no,

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Speaker 2: like he's going to figure that stuff out. But I'm

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Speaker 2: also I'm not going to micro manage my husband. I

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Speaker 2: don't think that's my job. And you know, I really

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Speaker 2: believe that I have a life and he has a life,

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Speaker 2: and we have this incredible life together. But I wasn't

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Speaker 2: going to sacrifice the things that I wanted, and I

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Speaker 2: was lucky that I had a husband who was who

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Speaker 2: is unbelievably supportive.

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Speaker 1: I just think for women who are looking for that partner,

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Speaker 1: if you have to be conscious of that as you're

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Speaker 1: looking for the partner, Like did you stumble into that

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Speaker 1: and then maybe at tracked, Oh you attracted that.

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Speaker 2: I think I attract that because that's the only type

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Speaker 2: of partner I've ever had, Like, I don't I think

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Speaker 2: that you know in that in that early process, like

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Speaker 2: you know, people show you, they tell you who they are,

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Speaker 2: they tell you how they're going to be, you see

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Speaker 2: how they move.

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Speaker 1: I never went through like a young There was never

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Speaker 1: a young and like a young bad decisions.

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Speaker 2: A night maybe, but no longer. No longer I made

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Speaker 2: stupid decisions like in a moment, and I realized in

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Speaker 2: the morning that that was not for me. I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh you know, I yeah.

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Speaker 1: Like I would never like it's a bad boys or anything.

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Speaker 2: Not a chance. You know, I don't have the disposition

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Speaker 2: for it. You let me down, I am out. I'm gone.

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Speaker 2: I just do you know what I mean? I have

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Speaker 2: such a and it isn't even about like high self worth.

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Speaker 2: It's just like low tolerance. Yeah, Like I have zero

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Speaker 2: tolerance for someone who's going to mess me around, like

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Speaker 2: miss the phone call. I'm like bye, Like no, do

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Because I never believe that like,

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Speaker 2: oh they get better, like things are going to change.

399
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Speaker 2: I'm like, they don't. It won't move on. And also

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Speaker 2: they were like so many boys when I was little,

401
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Speaker 2: you know, you're out here, oh here saying out. I

402
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Speaker 2: was like fashionable, Just move on and try something else.

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Speaker 1: You never went to let me fix somebody or any

404
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Speaker 1: of that type of thing. No, really good.

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Speaker 2: But there's not to say I didn't have like some

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Speaker 2: not so great boyfriends that were like, you know, messing

407
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Speaker 2: around and doing whatever. That they were doing, but like

408
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Speaker 2: not with me knowing and not with me tolerating anything.

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Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean. It's like, there's just.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So it wasn't so much that you were looking

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Speaker 1: for this type of partner. It's that your behavior warranted

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Speaker 1: and you found somebody because you were moving around that way.

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Speaker 2: It was like, so, and I think I have really

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Speaker 2: high standards, not just that with everyone around me, right,

415
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Speaker 2: it's like my entire team. I have high standards. But

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Speaker 2: also I give a lot, and I think when you're

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Speaker 2: a person who gives a lot and has high expectations,

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Speaker 2: like that comes back to you. And so as soon

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Speaker 2: as I get a ignore, it's like anything. Right, If

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Speaker 2: I get a signaled that something's off that I'm not

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Speaker 2: getting equal back, it's like I'm gone to get bye,

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Speaker 2: I'm gone. It's that's the East London in me though,

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Speaker 2: you know. That's like where I come from. You don't

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Speaker 2: suffer fools Like you are expected to tell the truth,

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Speaker 2: to do what you say you're going to do, to

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Speaker 2: be true to your word, and suffer the consequences if

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Speaker 2: you don't. So it's like I don't have time for

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Speaker 2: foolish Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Plus a woman on a mission.

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Speaker 2: I want a mission at a time, like literally, but

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Speaker 2: you know that literally, like I don't have the energy,

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Speaker 2: like I would lose my I would lose it. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: lose it.

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Speaker 1: There's there's a I don't even need my cards because

435
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:36,879
Speaker 1: were it goes naturally?

436
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:40,280
Speaker 2: And what were you just talking about being angry?

437
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,720
Speaker 1: I know where you're going. No, No, it wasn't about

438
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:46,159
Speaker 1: the anger anger issues. But after you talked about that,

439
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,720
Speaker 1: I love that you identified your own anger issues and

440
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:51,000
Speaker 1: then went and then got help for your anger issues.

441
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:55,240
Speaker 1: Nobody like, nothing terrible happened, nobody had to intervene. When

442
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,320
Speaker 1: I first heard that you had you went to anger

443
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,600
Speaker 1: therapy management, I was like, oh god, something, she must

444
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,399
Speaker 1: have been arrested or something. No, she had an incident

445
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,160
Speaker 1: on the train and she was like, oh God, I'm

446
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,480
Speaker 1: so angry. And then went and fixed it yourself. You

447
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,440
Speaker 1: identified the problem within yourself, yes, and went and worked

448
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 1: on it.

449
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,320
Speaker 2: Because I knew that that wasn't matching up to the

450
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,080
Speaker 2: life that I wanted. I wouldn't be able to take

451
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,000
Speaker 2: me and my little angry, crazy girl self and do

452
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,040
Speaker 2: the things that I wanted to do. And that was

453
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 2: so clear to me. I was like, this is not

454
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,920
Speaker 2: going to roll, it's not going to work in a workplace.

455
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,680
Speaker 1: So you worked on that, you got a hold of that,

456
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:28,359
Speaker 1: managed that.

457
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 2: And I still work on that every day, really yes,

458
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,920
Speaker 2: and I still sometimes lose it because I can go

459
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 2: eyes with people and they're just like, you know, I,

460
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:39,400
Speaker 2: it's something that you have to work on every single day,

461
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,520
Speaker 2: like like in the same way that I work on

462
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:42,840
Speaker 2: being really sad.

463
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:45,320
Speaker 1: Well, what is that? What is that? What does that?

464
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,720
Speaker 2: I think that is like I'm hardwired like that. I

465
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,240
Speaker 2: am not, you know, I think it's so much a

466
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:56,359
Speaker 2: factor of my upbringing. You know, I wasn't taught to

467
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,000
Speaker 2: be thoughtful. We certainly weren't. I wasn't ever taught that

468
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,680
Speaker 2: you could like take a breath and move past something.

469
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,920
Speaker 2: I was always taught that if something happened to you

470
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 2: because someone was disrespecting someone was like that, you were

471
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 2: going to look after yourself and you were going to

472
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,240
Speaker 2: lash out. And that just becomes like a pattern, like

473
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:16,199
Speaker 2: a loop in your system, and it wires and wires

474
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:19,440
Speaker 2: and it gets more and more attuned unless you deal

475
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,560
Speaker 2: with it. And so I think that that is very

476
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 2: much who I am, and I have to work all

477
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:28,040
Speaker 2: the time and make sure that I keep keep myself

478
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,400
Speaker 2: like my head up by boarder, keep practicing, keep training.

479
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,840
Speaker 1: I wondered if it was part or if sometimes it

480
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,440
Speaker 1: could be triggered by because I know a lot of amazing,

481
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 1: super high functioning women, right, and there is an impatience.

482
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,920
Speaker 1: Like the women that I know that I like run

483
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:48,280
Speaker 1: big companies and stuff, they're all kind of impatient.

484
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm definitely impatient, like and so I can.

485
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 1: See that the triggering anger and almost anger.

486
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 2: Here's my thing. I've worked every single one of the jobs, right,

487
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:01,920
Speaker 2: so it's like I have an understanding for what it

488
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:05,160
Speaker 2: takes to pack the boxes, to do the assistant job,

489
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,240
Speaker 2: to work your way up the ranks, to be a like,

490
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,160
Speaker 2: you know, mid level executive. I did all the things,

491
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 2: and so you like, you know, can you do you

492
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:14,200
Speaker 2: swear on this shark?

493
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:14,840
Speaker 1: Yes? Please?

494
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 2: You know we always started on yet today what I

495
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,240
Speaker 2: but it's like, you know, in England they say you

496
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:24,160
Speaker 2: can't fuck a fucker, Like I am a person understands.

497
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 2: So if you come to me with an excuse, if

498
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:27,639
Speaker 2: you come to me telling me it's going to take

499
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 2: three hours, and I can do it in forty five minutes,

500
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, I have been there, I did that thing,

501
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 2: So then I have an impatience, but I'm not going

502
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,440
Speaker 2: to get angry about that. I feel like the things

503
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,119
Speaker 2: that I get angry about are when I feel like

504
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:42,160
Speaker 2: people don't care, because I care the most. I care

505
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 2: about everything. I care about the glass, the tablecloth, the

506
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 2: thing that like I'm you know, it's like that. That's

507
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,399
Speaker 2: how I come into what I do. And so if

508
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:56,679
Speaker 2: you show a lack of care, anger, right, I'm gonna

509
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,560
Speaker 2: take a deep breath so you won't work with me

510
00:22:59,640 --> 00:22:59,960
Speaker 2: for very.

511
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 1: I understand too deeply what you're saying, and I have

512
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,480
Speaker 1: actually worked on that, right, Britt, I'm better now. I

513
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:11,639
Speaker 1: used to be very It's also you expect people. Beyonce

514
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 1: talked about this once. I think it was her special

515
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:16,640
Speaker 1: like she does. Would do the rehearsals and she wouldn't eat,

516
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 1: she wouldn't sleep, she wouldn't drink, and then she realized, oh,

517
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,920
Speaker 1: other people need to sleep and eat. And it's and

518
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,639
Speaker 1: you expect people to operate how you operate, and if

519
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 1: you let it frustrate you because they don't, how can

520
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,119
Speaker 1: you really be a good leader because you can't. You

521
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 1: can't You can't.

522
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 2: Also, they don't have the same thing to gain as you. Like,

523
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 2: You've got to get real, Like I'm out here doing

524
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 2: what I do. Everybody around me is not got the

525
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 2: same circumstance and they don't have the same upside. So

526
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 2: also I'm realistic. Yeah, you know, if I'm paying you

527
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 2: two hunder ground, I expect two hundred ground of you,

528
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:50,080
Speaker 2: not a million dollars like we're talking about.

529
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:51,919
Speaker 1: So really, you don't have.

530
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 2: The same to gain as I do. Yeah.

531
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 1: Oh so, but the anger thing, it wasn't so much

532
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 1: about the anger management. It was you said that you

533
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,360
Speaker 1: still working on forgiveness.

534
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 2: Oh, yes, I'm not a good forgiver. Yeah I'm not.

535
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 2: Because you know, it's so funny. I did the Hoffmann process.

536
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,919
Speaker 2: You know what that is. Oh, it's like such an

537
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,479
Speaker 2: l a thing, but it is. It's an incredible process,

538
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 2: like like a you know, nine day intensive therapy process

539
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,199
Speaker 2: where you learn all your patterns and you undo your

540
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 2: childhood trauma and all that.

541
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:23,920
Speaker 1: This sounds very expensive.

542
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 2: It's expensive, and it's expensive on your like it it's

543
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:31,120
Speaker 2: socially odd like it's like it's such a it's such

544
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:36,680
Speaker 2: a like a deep deep dig and I just you know.

545
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,119
Speaker 2: It was one of those things where you're kind of

546
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 2: expected to come out forgiving everything that's kind of happened

547
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,639
Speaker 2: to you. And I got to the nine days and

548
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,720
Speaker 2: everybody's like yeah, and I was like no, but still no,

549
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 2: still no. But that's like you know again about I'm boundary, right,

550
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 2: It's like I can understand, you know, if somebody slights me,

551
00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,959
Speaker 2: it's not actually always about and I think as far

552
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:04,320
Speaker 2: as it comes to like childhood trauma, it's like I

553
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:07,639
Speaker 2: can understand it. It doesn't always mean that you need

554
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 2: to forgive.

555
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:12,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, but the way you talk about that

556
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:17,159
Speaker 1: here is you're more likely to instead of forgive somebody.

557
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 1: Oh my god, do you know J Scott, because I

558
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:21,240
Speaker 1: feel like there's so many similar things you should know.

559
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 2: You should introduce me. I would die because.

560
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,680
Speaker 1: I'm thinking of our interview with her because even in that,

561
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 1: even how you explained, we have a clip of her

562
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:32,639
Speaker 1: going saying, I'm much more likely to forget you than

563
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,680
Speaker 1: forgive you. And you talk about that here. You say,

564
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,399
Speaker 1: you know it's not worth your time, it's like or

565
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,200
Speaker 1: your patient. So you rather just I'm not gonna forgive you.

566
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:44,200
Speaker 1: You just cut you out of the fabric of my life.

567
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 2: I always think about this idea of like who like

568
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 2: you operate on like these orbits, And I have people

569
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:51,880
Speaker 2: that are in my inner orbit, and I have people

570
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 2: that are outer and more out, And it's like, you

571
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,920
Speaker 2: don't have to like, you know, be out of my life,

572
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,000
Speaker 2: but you just might not be one of my like

573
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 2: inner circle people. Right, So I'm operating on a system

574
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:04,920
Speaker 2: that says, like you just might have to like be

575
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 2: a couple out, a couple of steps removed. I don't

576
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 2: need to cut people, although I have done that in

577
00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 2: the past, But to me, it's like it's just like

578
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 2: there's an inner circle. They're an expectation and I'm not

579
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 2: gonna my value.

580
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 1: When do you care enough to work on like that

581
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:23,960
Speaker 1: forgiveness or.

582
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 4: With my husband, you know, that's that's yeah, he's the

583
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 4: only one trying to think everybody else, you know, God bless,

584
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 4: God bless.

585
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:39,960
Speaker 2: That's really.

586
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 1: Sorry. Hey listen, Oh, so you do transcendental meditation too.

587
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 2: It's my that's one of the biggest tools that I have.

588
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 1: How long have you been doing this?

589
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,680
Speaker 2: So I think I did a course. That's a great question.

590
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,120
Speaker 2: I want to say, like maybe.

591
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 1: Three years, okay, and it's one of religion.

592
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 2: So I don't so I don't do You're supposed to

593
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 2: do twenty minutes a day twice a day, that never

594
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 2: ever happens. But I do do it. I would say

595
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 2: I do twenty minutes a day in the morning, three

596
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 2: or four times a week. And it is a game

597
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 2: changer because I always thought of meditation as something that

598
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 2: turns the noise down. Really I actually think it gives

599
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 2: you energy, gives you space and clarity, and so for me,

600
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:22,800
Speaker 2: it was one of those things that I was like, wow,

601
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 2: this is this is an insane tool that I never

602
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:29,679
Speaker 2: envisaged I would ever use, but it really really works

603
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 2: as something to create some opportunity to slow things down

604
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,920
Speaker 2: and call the play like that's what I like to do.

605
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 1: Tried this. How did you find specific meditation too where

606
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 1: you have to say.

607
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:42,960
Speaker 2: The word you have a mantra.

608
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:44,399
Speaker 1: I was doing it for a little while, like a

609
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 1: couple of months, and I did notice a difference, and

610
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:47,840
Speaker 1: I just fell off the regimen of the day. I

611
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 1: need to get back on it. And I only got

612
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 1: to ten minutes.

613
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 2: Okay, but that's good.

614
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 1: They never get past ten when we've got like you,

615
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 1: like they say say, twenty times is when you feel

616
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 1: the real effects.

617
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 2: The game changer in the twenty is a game change.

618
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 2: You just got to find your perfect time. And also,

619
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 2: I think this again, it's like, yeah, it'd be great

620
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,440
Speaker 2: if you had like forty minutes every day to do it.

621
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,880
Speaker 2: I think you just find that twenty and for someone

622
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,200
Speaker 2: might be interested, for someone who might be interested, you

623
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 2: get a word of mind. Yeah, yep, you say the

624
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:19,440
Speaker 2: word over and over again and you're meditating on the word,

625
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:22,480
Speaker 2: on the word and what does it do for you?

626
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 1: How does it?

627
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 2: What does it do it? Literally like imagine it takes

628
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 2: like the temperature down. There's only two things that do

629
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 2: this for me, Like when you you're you know, because

630
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,920
Speaker 2: I'm in a constant conversation with myself, Like I'm thinking

631
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 2: about what is happening over there, what's happening next, what

632
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 2: we've got tomorrow, what the kids need, what my husband

633
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,959
Speaker 2: just spoke to me about what I'm doing in one company.

634
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 2: It's like like my brain is like this all the time.

635
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 2: It literally is like it's almost like everything just comes

636
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 2: down to this like very quiet place and you end

637
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 2: up having space and in the space comes something like

638
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 2: literally like it's almost like a little gift, Like something

639
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:05,200
Speaker 2: will come in and you're like, oh, I did not

640
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 2: see that, and it becomes clearer, you figure out what

641
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 2: you need to do. I come out with so much energy,

642
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:16,480
Speaker 2: like so much clarity. It's crazy. It's so it really

643
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 2: is to me, Like you know when people say it's

644
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 2: a game changer, it's like, no, it changed your game,

645
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 2: it will change the way that you move. You're going back.

646
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 1: I'm going back in Brittany gout to five minutes, right,

647
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 1: you go to five I tried together, and I was like,

648
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 1: if it's really I'm feeling a difference. I just didn't

649
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,720
Speaker 1: get I didn't get to I didn't go up again.

650
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 1: And it's hard.

651
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 2: It's hard to sign new things. Like so much of

652
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 2: what I talk about this in this book is like

653
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 2: it's really difficult to untrain your ways, especially when you

654
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 2: get to a certain age. It's hard to stop telling

655
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 2: yourself the stories. But you have to make sure that

656
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 2: what's happening in your own head is not like bad

657
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 2: for you, right, that your biggest enemy isn't living in

658
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,480
Speaker 2: your own mind. And so I really tried to make

659
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 2: the things that I do like I have a big

660
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 2: positive impact on me, and that transcendental is one of

661
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:09,400
Speaker 2: those things.

662
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 1: What is the what is something that you've had to

663
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 1: unlearn recently about yourself?

664
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 2: I think honestly that I wasn't going to be capable

665
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 2: of writing. You know, I'm dyslexic, highly highly dyslexic. And

666
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 2: so I fixed my work and my life around almost

667
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 2: never writing anything down, you know, like never, I speak

668
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 2: every email on my phone, I speak every text in

669
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 2: I never. You know, when when in your adult life

670
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 2: do you write like in that type of way? And

671
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 2: so I thought a book would be impossible for me.

672
00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 2: The other thing is like I wrote the book totally

673
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 2: back to front. I started with all the things that

674
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 2: were easy to me, building a business, making a career

675
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 2: of your dreams, and the leadership money bomb Bomb wrote

676
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 2: it like Cho Choun spoke it all into the phone.

677
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 2: And then I was like, well, why can I do

678
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 2: that stuff? And then I got to the managing emotions.

679
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 2: Then I got to the vision part. But it was

680
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 2: very very hard for me to organize my thoughts. And

681
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 2: once I had it together, there was this sense of

682
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 2: achievement like I was like wow, But that took a

683
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 2: lot of doing because I was constantly telling myself, telling

684
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 2: my agent, telling everyone around me. I was like, I'll

685
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 2: never do a book. I'll never do that. I can't

686
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 2: I literally can't do that. That's not for me.

687
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 1: Turned out, I'm so surprised that you would say that

688
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 1: those kind of things to yourself.

689
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 2: Because you know, when you're a person of you know better, Emma,

690
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 2: you know I should know better. But when you're a

691
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 2: person of certainty, like you're certain about a lot of things,

692
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 2: you're certain about what you can do, you're so certain

693
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 2: about what you can't do, and I'm like, that's not

694
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 2: for me. Like, you know, I can look at an

695
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,360
Speaker 2: outfit and be like, that's not for me, that my

696
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 2: body doesn't worked that way, I can't wear that. And

697
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, that's kind of cute.

698
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 1: I wore that. We have a voice note? Should we

699
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 1: go a voice No? Now, Hey guys, you ever signed

700
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 1: up for a phone plan thinking Wow, what a great price,

701
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 1: and then a few months later it's like, surprise, your

702
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 1: bill is higher. We hate that. With Bull's Mobile, you

703
00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 1: paid twenty five dollars a month forever unlimited talk, text

704
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 1: and data starting at just twenty five dollars a month.

705
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 1: There's no price hikes. There's no contract, and this is forever. Plus.

706
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 1: Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide five G network.

707
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 1: They invested billions building five G towers across the country.

708
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:18,080
Speaker 1: So what you need to do is visit boostmobile dot

709
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 1: com or head to your local Boots store today and

710
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:23,640
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711
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 1: a month forever. Five G speeds is not available in

712
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 1: all areas. After thirty gigabytes, customers may experience lower speeds.

713
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:32,239
Speaker 1: Customers will pay twenty five dollars a month as long

714
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 1: as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan. All right,

715
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:39,400
Speaker 1: we have a segment. It is called it's a Voicenowe segment.

716
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 1: So this is a fan or listener of the pod news.

717
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 1: You're going to be here. How's a question our comments?

718
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna play that. Hi. My name is Tanisha.

719
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 3: I'm thirty and I have been having a hard time

720
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 3: getting credit for the ideas that are actually present. How

721
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 3: do I get compensated for something like that? Because I

722
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,960
Speaker 3: obviously I have left the organization. I didn't get any

723
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 3: conversation or credit for that idea, but it is an

724
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 3: idea that has sustained that program moving forward, So how

725
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 3: do you navigate situations like that to avoid.

726
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:09,720
Speaker 1: Being put in that position? I used to stuff from this,

727
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 1: I will hold everything in because I'd be freedobody who's

728
00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 1: going to rob me?

729
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 2: Wow? See it terrible. I don't know about that kind

730
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 2: of I mean to me, that signal scarcity mindset. But

731
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,920
Speaker 2: if we talk about like what Tarnisha is actually saying,

732
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 2: she's obviously in an environment where her ideas can be

733
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 2: taken because she is being paid to give ideas to

734
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 2: do whatever job she's doing. And then she's in an

735
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 2: environment where those ideas can be taken and used. But

736
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 2: it's not she's not working for herself. She's working for

737
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 2: an employer. That means she is being paid and compensated

738
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 2: for our ideas. You don't get to get the full value.

739
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 2: And I do honestly think that sometimes employees can overestimate

740
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 2: their contribution. If you're in a place where you're being

741
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 2: paid to do a job, you have to do that job.

742
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 2: That job might be giving some of your ideas. Now,

743
00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 2: if you are doing something that is beyond the expectation

744
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 2: of your remit and you're going above and beyond, you

745
00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 2: need to go and have a conversation about your additional contribution.

746
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 2: But I think that it's kind of naive to think

747
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 2: that you know you're going to be contributed, you're going

748
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:16,799
Speaker 2: to be compensated beyond what you're being paid when you're

749
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:18,880
Speaker 2: just giving your idea, Like, do you know what I mean?

750
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,759
Speaker 2: It's there's there's so much more to business. It's like,

751
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 2: there's so much more that goes into things, and I

752
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 2: think sometimes we can have a little bit of a

753
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 2: naivety about our contribution.

754
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:30,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, also because I can't let one hundred people have

755
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: the same idea, and not everybody can get it across

756
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 1: the finish line. So an idea is really just an idea.

757
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:37,839
Speaker 2: Well it's just an idea because it takes a lot

758
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:39,800
Speaker 2: of people to execute it, a lot of people to

759
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:42,840
Speaker 2: create the things. But again, if this is somebody that

760
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 2: feels chronically undervalued, and I've been in that same situation,

761
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:49,320
Speaker 2: I've been in a place where I thought I was

762
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 2: delivering value and I talk about it in the book,

763
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,280
Speaker 2: to a company they were making a lot of money

764
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 2: and I didn't feel like I was making enough. But

765
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:00,359
Speaker 2: the company were like, Emma, we pay you for this job.

766
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,239
Speaker 2: You are paid and we make a lot of money

767
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:05,320
Speaker 2: out of it. I was like, Okay, I'll take my

768
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:08,760
Speaker 2: services elsewhere and that was the beginning of my first business.

769
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 2: But they weren't wrong. I wasn't wrong either. But sometimes

770
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,240
Speaker 2: we have to know that there's nuance in the situation.

771
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,279
Speaker 2: You just might have to take your gifts and your

772
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 2: services elsewhere to realize the full potential of what you're doing.

773
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:23,320
Speaker 1: But you're probably going to be realistic with yourself. Is

774
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:26,319
Speaker 1: that like one one kind of flop idea, one kind

775
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 1: of limp, you know what I mean? Or do you

776
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:31,360
Speaker 1: have many ideas that could expend any business?

777
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:32,239
Speaker 4: Do you do?

778
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 2: You have so many ideas that you could pay yourself

779
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 2: what you're being paid currently and if you don't like again,

780
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:40,560
Speaker 2: it's never that black and white. In the book, I

781
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:44,760
Speaker 2: talk so much about negotiation, right. Negotiation isn't one side

782
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:48,240
Speaker 2: winning or losing. You've got to find something mutually advantageous

783
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:51,680
Speaker 2: to go and have a conversation, talk about and understand,

784
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:55,280
Speaker 2: but go with specificity. You know this would be the conversation.

785
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 2: To me, I'd be like, let's roll, So you guys

786
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:01,759
Speaker 2: are paying me sixty five thousand dollars and I came

787
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:05,759
Speaker 2: up with X idea that netted the business X. You're

788
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,240
Speaker 2: going to know those exes. You're going to have those numbers.

789
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 1: I mean, don't come.

790
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:12,280
Speaker 2: Emotion nearly will it. Don't be sad, don't be angry,

791
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 2: don't be silly. It's like, come in factually right and

792
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 2: paid this. I delivered this. The contribution was this. Once

793
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,160
Speaker 2: you've got that, you say, you know what, I would

794
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,919
Speaker 2: really imagine that my contribution in this company is worth

795
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:28,879
Speaker 2: eighty five thousand. Oh we're not ready to pay you that. Okay,

796
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:30,440
Speaker 2: what do I need to do to get from here

797
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:33,040
Speaker 2: to here? You show me how can you value me

798
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 2: and my ideas? Because if you're unable to do that,

799
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:37,919
Speaker 2: then I would need to move on because I can't

800
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:41,400
Speaker 2: see how I would be contributing above this. It's a conversation.

801
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 2: You don't need to be stupid about it. You can

802
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 2: joke for yourself because, let me tell you, half the time,

803
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:51,280
Speaker 2: the people that are in charge don't fully understand your contribution.

804
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:53,640
Speaker 2: They may not know where the idea comes from. They

805
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 2: also might be coming from a place that they see

806
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 2: it differently. And that feedback is important for you to have.

807
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 2: It's important for you to understand and well, actually you

808
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 2: think we made X, but the costs associated with this

809
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 2: there were five other departments involved. Then you can be like, oh,

810
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,279
Speaker 2: I got it, okay, so actually this is what it

811
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:11,680
Speaker 2: was and this is what I need to do in

812
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:14,239
Speaker 2: the future. But still, how do I get to this?

813
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 2: And so I think that you can have a really

814
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 2: nuanced negotiation. You've got to teach yourself to have those conversations.

815
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 2: It also teaches resilience because when and if you get

816
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 2: a knock back, that's not walking out with nothing, that's

817
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 2: information that is like what you need to come back

818
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 2: and do things in a different way. So I just

819
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 2: think like when you're when you have ambition, when you

820
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:38,759
Speaker 2: want more, which is exactly what she's saying, is that

821
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 2: I want more, I want more credit, I want more money,

822
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 2: I want to be recognized. It's like, go and ask

823
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:47,719
Speaker 2: for it. You can write into Angie, that's cool, but like,

824
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 2: make sure you've had a conversation with your boss and

825
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 2: the conversation isn't just happening in your head. You're not

826
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 2: just talking to your co workers that they can't do shit.

827
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,560
Speaker 2: You need to go to the people that can actually

828
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 2: help change and in a nuanced way express exactly what

829
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,440
Speaker 2: you need and what your expectations are you might get it.

830
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 1: Are you ever you said in here that if if

831
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 1: you never hear the word no, you're not pushing enough. Right, absolutely,

832
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 1: it's ever like because sometimes I'll be in I'm always like,

833
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 1: I'm like too fair. So I'm like, okay, they want

834
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 1: me to do that for them, I do it for

835
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,759
Speaker 1: this much. This is me talking to them this I

836
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:23,320
Speaker 1: would say.

837
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 2: Less than your wife, less than you think you will.

838
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 1: Probably sometimes yes, yes, yes, okay, what is that? That's terrible?

839
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:33,719
Speaker 1: I'm getting better at it. Okay, I'm getting better at it.

840
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 2: What's the reason though? Why are you doing that? Like

841
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:38,239
Speaker 2: doing a favor? Are you scared or what is it?

842
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 1: I'm like chronically obsessed with being fair like way to her,

843
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:44,840
Speaker 1: yes right, fair to everybody else? What I think the

844
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 1: value might be to them? Or kind of taking all

845
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:53,239
Speaker 1: of their things into consideration instead of putting my thing

846
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 1: at the center of the start with your stuff, starting

847
00:38:56,640 --> 00:39:03,800
Speaker 1: with it's so good, it's so good. I say to you,

848
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 1: have you never do you? Never?

849
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:05,800
Speaker 2: Have?

850
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 1: Do you ever say? Okay, our businesses as valued at

851
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 1: one hundred million, but I'm going to go ask for

852
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:14,399
Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty million, whatever the thing is, whatever,

853
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:16,719
Speaker 1: then I'm just making a number up of something I do.

854
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,440
Speaker 1: Do you ever feel like what that was? Big? I

855
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 1: went big, oh, and feel like almost crazy about it

856
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:23,959
Speaker 1: all the time.

857
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 2: But that is something that comes like again with experience

858
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:31,239
Speaker 2: and a willingness to walk away from the thing, because

859
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:34,040
Speaker 2: when we make deals, right, when we decide like I'm

860
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,840
Speaker 2: going to give it over here again, it's kind of

861
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:40,000
Speaker 2: a signal that we don't think there's something better on

862
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:42,320
Speaker 2: the other side, or that like what you're willing to

863
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:46,800
Speaker 2: undervalue yourself, Like for what reason? I always imagine that

864
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,880
Speaker 2: if somebody is offering me something, the chances are someone

865
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:52,480
Speaker 2: else will offer the same thing. So it's not that

866
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 2: I don't ever do that, it's just that experiences taught

867
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:59,480
Speaker 2: me to know better, Like if somebody is willing to

868
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,440
Speaker 2: give you some I'm being someone else will give it

869
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 2: to you. In that same way, when I was like

870
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 2: so young that my boss wouldn't take me from what

871
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 2: I was on twenty five thousand pounds, I think I

872
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 2: asked for thirty thousand, I was like, someone else will

873
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 2: pay me twenty five Are we better be over there?

874
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 2: Because I can manage the trajectory. So I think that again,

875
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:20,440
Speaker 2: these things are chronic because this is just an old

876
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:25,880
Speaker 2: thought that lives in your head. You are undervaluing your services.

877
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:28,360
Speaker 2: You come from a place because you're sitting here maybe

878
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:30,880
Speaker 2: with a scarcity mindset that says, you know, if I

879
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:34,879
Speaker 2: get X, somebody else gets less. It's like, why it's

880
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,880
Speaker 2: not it's zero some game, right, That's not how guys

881
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 2: would everythink doesn't make it mean because like you know,

882
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 2: someone gets something over here that somebody else suffers. And

883
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:48,719
Speaker 2: I don't think to the contrary, I don't think it's

884
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:51,480
Speaker 2: about overvaluing yourself. I don't think that you should be

885
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:54,880
Speaker 2: like it's a million dollars. You have to educate yourself.

886
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:57,399
Speaker 2: You have to know the space. You have to find

887
00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:00,520
Speaker 2: a place that actually makes sense. But the idea of

888
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:02,280
Speaker 2: like undervalue in my services.

889
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 1: You want to do? You want to throw up right now?

890
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:06,280
Speaker 2: Want to I want to die? I want to get angry.

891
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 1: We're working on your anger. You've come so far.

892
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 2: I took a deep breath when you said it.

893
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 1: I was like, I know, I know, Angie, I have

894
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:20,240
Speaker 1: gotten way better. But I was me young, I felt

895
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 1: you know. I started doing radio I was eighteen nineteen.

896
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:25,440
Speaker 1: I was grateful to be there. I was like this,

897
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:27,920
Speaker 1: you know, and so I just was happy to have

898
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:28,799
Speaker 1: the opportunity.

899
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 2: But like you, I wasn't.

900
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:31,040
Speaker 3: You know.

901
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:32,919
Speaker 1: It took me a long time.

902
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:36,840
Speaker 2: Now you're Angie, right, and we all have that journey.

903
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:40,480
Speaker 2: And if you stay with the stories like this, like

904
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 2: that stuff will just keep you small. Like I think

905
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 2: that you have to like again, it's like replacing the thought.

906
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 2: It's like you've got all of this stuff that you've

907
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 2: been doing for so long. You have this body of work,

908
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:54,360
Speaker 2: you have these ways that you behave the ways that

909
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 2: you do business, but it will nothing changes unless it changes.

910
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 2: But you have to do that. Like when I say

911
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:05,239
Speaker 2: start with yourself, I really mean to go back inside

912
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 2: yourself and go what is it that actually makes me

913
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 2: undervalue myself? What is it that makes me do that

914
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:17,160
Speaker 2: smaller number than I know I'm worth? Kindness that you

915
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 2: don't want to be seen as a bit, You don't

916
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 2: want to be seen as someone who's taken advantage. You

917
00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:22,279
Speaker 2: don't ask me the question.

918
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:29,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, probably me wanting to, like I said, be fair,

919
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 1: not take advantage of people. I don't know, Yeah, maybe

920
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 1: wanting to be And it's.

921
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 2: So interesting because in you being fair and not wanting

922
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:40,360
Speaker 2: to take advantage, you're allowing somebody else to be unfair

923
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:43,080
Speaker 2: and take advantage. So what makes them better than you?

924
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 1: No, it's no, no, no, we have we're we're on

925
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:49,239
Speaker 1: the other side of this. Okay, we're we're already on

926
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:51,480
Speaker 1: the side. I know it's so interesting, right that, this

927
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:53,799
Speaker 1: big age that it would take me to long, but.

928
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:56,360
Speaker 2: I talk through it because I think for anybody listening

929
00:42:56,440 --> 00:43:00,399
Speaker 2: to this, it's it's it's chronic, it's patterned, it's in rained.

930
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:03,479
Speaker 2: It's not stuff that you do knowingly and flippantly. Because

931
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 2: I reckon anyone who listens to this podcast is that

932
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:08,839
Speaker 2: I'll undervalue myself. I know what I'm worth. I make

933
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,840
Speaker 2: my money. It's like, ah, but do you? They do

934
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:15,600
Speaker 2: you every time because sometimes we do things unconsciously. And

935
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:17,800
Speaker 2: that's why I wrote this book in the way that

936
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:21,399
Speaker 2: I did, because when you understand what you're doing, when

937
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 2: you understand what's running through your thoughts and the reasons

938
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,879
Speaker 2: and the ways you make decisions, then you can push

939
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 2: against it. But it's not until it's raised to your

940
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 2: attention that you understand some of this stuff, because some

941
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 2: of it is like, it's not even you, it's the culture.

942
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:38,319
Speaker 2: Women are undervalued. Right, it's somebody else with the same

943
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:42,800
Speaker 2: resume and the same you know, set of circumstances. We

944
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:45,080
Speaker 2: put them side by side, and we see this with Ai. Right,

945
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:48,080
Speaker 2: you upload the two same resumes and John gets paid

946
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 2: more than Sally, Like, what the fuck? Like, what is happening?

947
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 2: But it's true. And so I think that there's plenty

948
00:43:57,080 --> 00:44:00,560
Speaker 2: of things in society that are already in trench that

949
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 2: WI already make us like small and not progress. You

950
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:06,360
Speaker 2: can't be one of those things for yourself.

951
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 1: It's not with your sound.

952
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:11,920
Speaker 2: It's so good, it's so good.

953
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 1: Hey, guys. Support for this podcast is brought to you

954
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:17,759
Speaker 1: by Walden University. Have you ever thought to yourself, what

955
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:20,560
Speaker 1: if I could go after what I actually want and

956
00:44:20,719 --> 00:44:23,760
Speaker 1: I could really make a difference. Well, you are not alone,

957
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 1: and this is exactly why I want to tell you

958
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:28,879
Speaker 1: about Walden University. For over fifty years, Walden has helped

959
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:32,920
Speaker 1: working adults like you get the w with the knowledge,

960
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:35,920
Speaker 1: the skills and everything you need to build the future

961
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 1: that you want, and you can make a difference where

962
00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 1: it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment.

963
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:44,520
Speaker 1: This is it. Head to waldenu dot edu and take

964
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:48,280
Speaker 1: that first step. Walden University set a course for change,

965
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:51,399
Speaker 1: certified to operate by shiv. Okay, in real life, let's

966
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,120
Speaker 1: do some in real life questions. In real life? What

967
00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 1: is one thing you are no longer apologizing for.

968
00:44:57,719 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 2: The type of parent I am?

969
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:04,080
Speaker 1: Hmmm? Facts? Did they get you a little bit though?

970
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:07,719
Speaker 2: Did they start making you feel no? No, I expected it.

971
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:10,640
Speaker 2: I anticipated okay. I'm very used to the differences in

972
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:13,239
Speaker 2: the way mums are treated versus dad's, the way women

973
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:17,160
Speaker 2: are treated versus men. Yeah. I did it purposefully because

974
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 2: I want to give permission, permission for other women to

975
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 2: just be honest and true.

976
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 1: Far I'm like, fuck them, Okay, Emma. If God were

977
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:29,279
Speaker 1: to text you right now, what would it say?

978
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,759
Speaker 2: Are you religious? Are you a spiritual I'm a very

979
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:39,040
Speaker 2: spiritual person, not particularly religious. If God was to text me,

980
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:42,239
Speaker 2: you know. My favorite thing to be told, ever, is

981
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:45,120
Speaker 2: when people say to you God, bless Every taxi driver

982
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 2: in the whole of England says that to you all

983
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:48,320
Speaker 2: the time, but when someone says it to me, I

984
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:50,879
Speaker 2: actually feel like blessed, Like I'm blessed for the day.

985
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:54,840
Speaker 2: Just that simple God bless So God would say to you,

986
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:58,279
Speaker 2: God would say to me, God bless God, blesses you,

987
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:02,279
Speaker 2: like for real, the real anointed, like it's coming from

988
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:05,359
Speaker 2: Him in real life. It's because I imagine that every day,

989
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:07,440
Speaker 2: like I feel like it's the best thing to be told.

990
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 2: Like you know, it's like you are blessed, you are

991
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 2: you know, what do you say? Like in America they

992
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:15,719
Speaker 2: say you're blessed and highly favored. I've always loved it

993
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:18,319
Speaker 2: when I heard that because I was I never heard

994
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 2: that before in my life in England, but I feel

995
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:24,279
Speaker 2: like that so much. You're blessed and highly favored. It's

996
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:27,040
Speaker 2: like a beautiful thing. It is pretty great, it's amazing.

997
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:32,360
Speaker 2: And again I've never ever heard that. That was like

998
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 2: black women would say that to me, like it's pretty

999
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:36,680
Speaker 2: I just fought it was incredible.

1000
00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 1: Blessed and highly favored.

1001
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, is it beautiful when you like think when

1002
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 2: you break down the words now we say it's so

1003
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 2: like flippantly, but it's like blessed and highly favored. That's insane.

1004
00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 1: Well, thank you for today, thank you, and thank you

1005
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:52,799
Speaker 1: for this beautiful book and God bless.

1006
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 2: Today.

1007
00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 1: I'm going to go and spend more time with this book,

1008
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 1: because clearly I need to start with myself. You're doing

1009
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:05,880
Speaker 1: it all right, Thanks everyone, start with yourself, Emmigreen.

1010
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:08,160
Speaker 2: And so so so much.

1011
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:17,000
Speaker 1: Hey guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like comments,

1012
00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 1: and check out all of the other episodes we have

1013
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:21,120
Speaker 1: on Edge. Martinez I R Podcast