Speaker 1: Hell I Suck At Dating with Dengler and Jared Haven
Speaker 1: and I heard radio podcast What's going on? Everyone? Welcome
Speaker 1: to an all new episode of Help I Suck At Dating.
Speaker 1: And it's a special special episode because not only is
Speaker 1: it just another episode, but it's also the last episode
Speaker 1: of two thousand and twenty one, believe it or not,
Speaker 1: the year insane. It's drawn to a close. Man, Jared,
Speaker 1: I gotta ask you one question, just one. There's gonna
Speaker 1: be a short as podcast if you only ask me
Speaker 1: one question. Yeah. I figure we'll give our listeners to
Speaker 1: break and just have a five minute podcast at the
Speaker 1: end of the year. Um, what what was your one like?
Speaker 1: Do you would you consider it overall a good year,
Speaker 1: a bad year, a weird year? It sounds it seems
Speaker 1: like a lot happened for you this year, But what
Speaker 1: would you overall? What would you rate it? Yeah? I
Speaker 1: always get a little emotional towards the end of the year.
Speaker 1: I think that John Lennon song raised like it's it's
Speaker 1: a Christmas song. I can't remember the name of it now,
Speaker 1: but he's like a a year like just when and
Speaker 1: a new one begins again? Like very attached to two
Speaker 1: years and looking back and thinking about everything that's happened.
Speaker 1: So when I think about one, definitely a good year.
Speaker 1: I mean, dude, I'm still breathing. If I'm breathing, it's
Speaker 1: been a good year. And so we moved from Los
Speaker 1: Angeles back to Rhode Island cross country. That feels like
Speaker 1: ten years ago, but that was earlier. This year, I
Speaker 1: went back to school and graduated, got my bachelor's long
Speaker 1: time coming. Uh, started a business. It's going well. I'm
Speaker 1: exhausted and just tired seven, but it's going really well.
Speaker 1: Ashley is pregnant. We're having a kid. Uh what else happened?
Speaker 1: I gotta say, of all of all the things for
Speaker 1: you the list off. I'm surprised it took you that
Speaker 1: long to say Ashley got pregnant, if it, because now
Speaker 1: it doesn't feel that different. Nothing really has changed. In
Speaker 1: the beginning, it felt a lot different when she was
Speaker 1: constantly sick and debilitated and couldn't do anything. She's still
Speaker 1: a little sick, but now she's a functioning human being,
Speaker 1: just with a big belly. So it feels a little
Speaker 1: bit normal right now. I'm sure next year, when the
Speaker 1: kid is born, that is when it's going to be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this was a drastic change from my life prior, but
Speaker 1: as of right now, it's like, oh yeah, she just
Speaker 1: bumps into things with her belly. That's pretty much the
Speaker 1: difference right now. Uh. And what else, you know, Uh,
Speaker 1: you know, unfortunately had a couple of lost My grandfather
Speaker 1: passed away, and we lost our childhood dog. You know,
Speaker 1: you lost Pappy, So there's it's you know, definitely a
Speaker 1: little bit of a sad year too. But you know,
Speaker 1: it's kind of weird because when I think about death,
Speaker 1: it's a part of life, and you know, you had
Speaker 1: so much, you know, you were able to give Pappy
Speaker 1: such a good life towards the end. And I think
Speaker 1: about my grandfather and it's like it's tragic, but he
Speaker 1: was also at ninety And I'm like, man, if my
Speaker 1: parents make it till ninety, how could I ever complain?
Speaker 1: So I don't know. This year put a lot of
Speaker 1: things into perspective. I think, a lot of life altering moves.
Speaker 1: So uh, personally, I felt it was a good year.
Speaker 1: Very philosophical of you, you know, Yeah, dude, I get philosophical.
Speaker 1: Towards the end of the year, I I like, I said,
Speaker 1: it's it's an emotional time. Man. We're getting older, you know,
Speaker 1: it's crazy. We're getting older every second. We're older now
Speaker 1: than we were when we started this podcast, to which
Speaker 1: is uh scary to think about. That is a fact.
Speaker 1: And dude, it's two. How do we not have flying
Speaker 1: cars yet? It's two yet? Well, we gotta cut ourselves
Speaker 1: some slack here almost. Um sorry, I'm watching this dog
Speaker 1: run around right before we started this podcast. We've got
Speaker 1: these sliding glass doors here in Los Angeles, and he
Speaker 1: like ran full steam at head right into the sliding
Speaker 1: glass door and he just bunked his head pretty hardest.
Speaker 1: Very sad, but very funny to see he's fine. Obviously,
Speaker 1: Um was you know, I would say, overall, pretty gosh
Speaker 1: darn good year. Trying to think back all the way
Speaker 1: to January. Um, I mean, obviously we bought our house
Speaker 1: in one I'm never thought I'd be a homeowner, but
Speaker 1: here we are living our best lives out in Las Vegas,
Speaker 1: and uh, that's pretty, you know, pretty interesting and exciting
Speaker 1: for us. I suppose. Obviously we lost Patty pretty recently.
Speaker 1: That was pretty traumatic and heartbreaking, but like he said,
Speaker 1: with all death comes life and Honestly, the fact that
Speaker 1: we get to experience death is like a pretty pretty
Speaker 1: large blessing, you know what I mean. Like the fact
Speaker 1: that we're experiencing other things die around us as morbid
Speaker 1: as it sounds, is like pretty cool because that just
Speaker 1: means that we're living long and we're you know, it's
Speaker 1: like it's and to be able to like process those
Speaker 1: types of things is really unique and interesting. So that sucked,
Speaker 1: but it was you know, it's still I guess whatever. Uh.
Speaker 1: We just got this new dog just the other day.
Speaker 1: His name from the shelter is Muttley. I was just
Speaker 1: telling you guys before we got on air. He's Muttley.
Speaker 1: He's nine years old. He weighs twenty two pounds and
Speaker 1: he should be weighing like twelve pounds, so he's a
Speaker 1: good ten pounds overweight. He's got cat or acts or
Speaker 1: something wrong with his eyeballs. But you know, we we
Speaker 1: kind of felt we were kind of torn on what
Speaker 1: to do because like we're still grieving the loss of Pappy,
Speaker 1: but we like missed a little pitter patterns of footsteps
Speaker 1: around the house. Oh, he's peeing in the house right now.
Speaker 1: He's a marker. So he just marks things all the time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's he's his new house. Bro. He's gotta you know,
Speaker 1: he's gotta. He's gonna let you guys know who's boss.
Speaker 1: He's laying claim to the house as he should, as
Speaker 1: he should. Um. We yeah, we weren't sure what to
Speaker 1: do because we miss Pappy. We're still grieving the loss
Speaker 1: of Pappy, but like at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: we miss uh just the companionship that the dog brought
Speaker 1: into our lives. And um, guys, where as it sounds like,
Speaker 1: you know, just to have like a third person in
Speaker 1: the relationship, Like obviously it's not really a person, it's
Speaker 1: a dog, but you can kind of have like he's
Speaker 1: like a therapist in a way. You can kind of
Speaker 1: have like conversations with each other through the dog, and
Speaker 1: he's like kind of like the impartial bystander in any
Speaker 1: of those conversations. Yeah, dogs are the best listeners. What
Speaker 1: is his what is his name again? Well, from the
Speaker 1: foster his name was Muttley. Um, and he's got like
Speaker 1: medical records dating back to you know, years ago with
Speaker 1: the name Mutley. So that is his name, but we
Speaker 1: hate the name Mutley. Or he's a good boy, we've
Speaker 1: got like three names. We've got like five names that
Speaker 1: we want to consider. I want to name him Alistair,
Speaker 1: after the guy from Harry Potter with the wonky eyeball,
Speaker 1: because he's got a wonky eyeball. I thought that'd be
Speaker 1: pretty funny. Yeah, yeah, that professor um Or. I want
Speaker 1: to name him Gordo, which would be funny because Caylin
Speaker 1: loves Lizzie McGuire, but also Gordo in Spanish means fat,
Speaker 1: and since he's so overweight, it's kind of like a
Speaker 1: double entendre in a sense like that. Easton also just
Speaker 1: chimed in mad Eye Moody. That's what I think, Alistair,
Speaker 1: mad Eye Moody. That's right. And then I said, let's
Speaker 1: name a Moody, but Caitlin wasn't into Moody. And then
Speaker 1: the last one, um I think I wanted to name
Speaker 1: him Oslo or something like that. It's just hard because
Speaker 1: we like, we don't want to keep calling Hi Mutley,
Speaker 1: but we want to settle on a name, and so
Speaker 1: we're just giving it some time. So I vote for
Speaker 1: matt Ei Moody the whole name. Yeah, Alistair mad Ei Moody.
Speaker 1: So every time, like matt Ei Moody, Come here, Come here,
Speaker 1: mad Eim Moody, play dead I Moody. That's the thing too,
Speaker 1: It's like you don't want to be like yelling at
Speaker 1: the dog and having to spit out like nine syllables,
Speaker 1: because what what kind of it's like when you're when
Speaker 1: your parents would be like really angry at you and
Speaker 1: they would use your middle name to yell at you. Dude,
Speaker 1: that dog is nine years old and you guys just
Speaker 1: got him. There's no way you're yelling at that dog. Yeah,
Speaker 1: spoil the ship out of Motley as you well should.
Speaker 1: His name is not Mutley, Okay, it's Alistair mad Ei Moody. Sorry,
Speaker 1: you're gonna spoiler out of Alistair Madi Moody, and he
Speaker 1: should have all four names. So overall, I think I
Speaker 1: got a little sidetrack there over one great great year, um,
Speaker 1: minus the negatives. And like, obviously we've kind of got
Speaker 1: a better hold on this whole COVID thing, so we've
Speaker 1: been able to travel a little bit more freely. Um,
Speaker 1: Obviously we got this whole Omnicron thing going on and
Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff, but we've got we've gotten
Speaker 1: some of our liberties back, which is pretty nice, you know,
Speaker 1: like we and go outside and go to stores and
Speaker 1: see friends and not have to worry as much. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I would say, pretty pretty decent year all around. I
Speaker 1: remember when I was single and thinking about the New
Speaker 1: Year and be like, oh, you know, this is the
Speaker 1: year that I'm gonna meet Like I I would. I
Speaker 1: would think a lot, whether it be Christmas or New
Speaker 1: Year's when I was single, and be like, Okay, by
Speaker 1: this time next year, I will be in a relationship,
Speaker 1: so I don't spend the holidays alone. And then a
Speaker 1: year would go by and I would be single again,
Speaker 1: spending the holidays alone, and be like, Okay, I didn't
Speaker 1: really get that far this year. Next year is the
Speaker 1: year that I'm going to have a relationship. And then
Speaker 1: a year would go by and then the same thing,
Speaker 1: and then I ended up getting married, and that's how
Speaker 1: my life went. So you were always hoping to be
Speaker 1: in a relationship for I don't think, like I guess
Speaker 1: maybe I just I reminisced too much and I glorify
Speaker 1: the past, so I think I like, I always think
Speaker 1: like during Christmas that okay, next year at Christmas, I
Speaker 1: will be in a relationship. But I don't think I'm
Speaker 1: alone on that. Everybody feels lonely during the holidays when
Speaker 1: they're single. Well, there's the reason. It's there's a reason
Speaker 1: it's called the cuffing season, you know, because it's cold outside.
Speaker 1: You just want someone to like stay indoors with and
Speaker 1: snuggle with and drincock cocoa and maybe you put down
Speaker 1: like a glass of wine or two watch a crappy
Speaker 1: funny movie. Is that funny that the weather like makes
Speaker 1: you either want to be single in a relationship when
Speaker 1: do you want to be in a relationship? It is.
Speaker 1: It is pretty curious why that. I mean, obviously it's
Speaker 1: pretty clear why it is. But like, it is funny
Speaker 1: how it's just like uniform across the like, no matter
Speaker 1: where you are in the world. As long as there's
Speaker 1: like these dramatic swings between seasons, I'm sure everyone feels
Speaker 1: exactly the same way. Like Summer you're like taking your
Speaker 1: clothes off and your party at the beach. Winter you're
Speaker 1: bundling up and you're having there's there's suntan lotion you have,
Speaker 1: um speaking of having a tan, Yeah, you went, dude,
Speaker 1: I haven't seen the sun in like three weeks. All right,
Speaker 1: I'm a hard working man. You're looking real Robert Pattinson esque,
Speaker 1: which I'm sure Ashley loves. Dude. It's crazy how pale
Speaker 1: I get. It's honestly an insecurity of mine. Hi. I
Speaker 1: remember one time Ashley. I made Ashley cry. I felt bad,
Speaker 1: but at the same time she made me feel bad.
Speaker 1: So I get super pale during the winter, insane security
Speaker 1: of mine because I feel like I don't look that
Speaker 1: good pale. I'm like translucent. But I walked in This
Speaker 1: was during the pandemic. I think. I can't remember what
Speaker 1: it was, but the point is We're at Ashley's parents
Speaker 1: house and I walked into the room and Ashley was like, man,
Speaker 1: you were looking real pale lately. And I said, yeah,
Speaker 1: well you're looking real pimplee lately. Apparently I hit a
Speaker 1: nerve and she started crying and she was like, you know,
Speaker 1: that's an insecurity of mine. I was like, well, that's
Speaker 1: an insecurity of mine. She's like, it's the hormones. It's
Speaker 1: not me. I know, so I don't. I'd actually like
Speaker 1: to put a poll out there to suck army because
Speaker 1: I still feel like I didn't do that much wrong.
Speaker 1: What do you think? She came at me, she said,
Speaker 1: you're looking real pale lately, And granted she said it sarcastically,
Speaker 1: but there was definitely truth in it, because, as you
Speaker 1: can see, I get white as hell. So then I
Speaker 1: rebuttled with, well, you're really looking real pimplee lately. She
Speaker 1: started crying and she thought that I was being a jerk.
Speaker 1: What do you think? Um, I'll tell you. I'll tell you.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what. You don't care? Uh no, I oh,
Speaker 1: I absolutely care. Um, you know how bad, how hurt
Speaker 1: you were for her to say that thing to you,
Speaker 1: and then you were like, this paint sucks. Feel it
Speaker 1: with me? That's pretty that's pretty bad. That's a jerk move.
Speaker 1: On top of that, on top of that, on top
Speaker 1: of wanting her to come is right with you? And
Speaker 1: in that bad feeling, she's also pregnant and she's bearing
Speaker 1: the fruit of your loins. Um, I think that she
Speaker 1: kind of gets she should get a pass for any
Speaker 1: mean things she says from now until mid February and
Speaker 1: probably you know, a few months beyond. To be fair,
Speaker 1: I can't remember if she was pregned or not. I
Speaker 1: don't remember what this was oh, well in that case.
Speaker 1: In that case, yeah, it changes the whole dynamic of
Speaker 1: the conversation. Eastern shin or no hanasan it said jerk. Well,
Speaker 1: so she's allowed to like jab at me, but I
Speaker 1: can't jab back. Is this this seems a little sexist?
Speaker 1: O Hannah says, yep, I mean, listen, um, it happens.
Speaker 1: It happens with me and Caitlin pretty often. You know,
Speaker 1: she'll say something, uh, digging out one of my insecurities.
Speaker 1: Actually no, she doesn't really, but it does take a
Speaker 1: lot of self restraint not to like lean in and
Speaker 1: say something mean back. And I just she probably caught
Speaker 1: you on an off day, you know, like, let's give
Speaker 1: you the benefit of the doubt. There, you were just
Speaker 1: having an off day. You're a little irritable. Perhaps maybe
Speaker 1: you hadn't had your morning cup of coffee. Maybe I
Speaker 1: had too much coffee, could have been he's I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. But you're still looking back on it now,
Speaker 1: I saying you don't think you did anything wrong, which
Speaker 1: maybe you did. Maybe there maybe there's some context here
Speaker 1: that we're missing out on. No, not really, that's the
Speaker 1: whole story right there. So I want to Yeah, suck Army,
Speaker 1: let us know in the emails and on Instagram. I
Speaker 1: want to know if I was being a jerk or
Speaker 1: not like or at least can we at least agree
Speaker 1: maybe I was sixty? It was sixty? Is that a
Speaker 1: fair number? Hannah? What do you think at least I'll
Speaker 1: take I'll take six of the blame. I'm not saying
Speaker 1: Ashley is completely She says, sure, she doesn't care. This
Speaker 1: is ridiculous. Ashley deserves at least the blame on that one.
Speaker 1: Let me say this, if it wasn't for Ashley making
Speaker 1: that an original comment, there would have been no need
Speaker 1: for you to make the rebuttal. So, yeah, she's not
Speaker 1: blameless in the situation, There's no question about it. Um.
Speaker 1: Just how much blame are Well were willing to put
Speaker 1: on Ashley? I'm saying for if we if we want
Speaker 1: to put a number two, I would say sixty is good.
Speaker 1: Six your fault, her fault. Uh. There's this one quote
Speaker 1: that always six with me that maybe you should carry
Speaker 1: this over next time. Ashley says, you know, takes a
Speaker 1: dig at you. Oh God, can't wait to hear it.
Speaker 1: It's it's simple, It's just it's controversy. Wait, uh, conflict
Speaker 1: can't survive without your participation, and so she says something mean,
Speaker 1: there can't be any conflict unless you choose to participate
Speaker 1: in that conflict. So all you gotta do is wash
Speaker 1: your hands clean and in your head. Maybe maybe just
Speaker 1: stay it in your head, but don't stay it out loud,
Speaker 1: and just walk away and be the bigger man, be
Speaker 1: the bigger person. I guess not to be too gender
Speaker 1: specific here, that's my advice, but what do I know.
Speaker 1: I I suck at dating just as much as anyone else.
Speaker 1: It's just it's it's funny to look back and diagnosed
Speaker 1: the situation. Yeah, hindsight's always twenty and twenty. Well, we
Speaker 1: do have some hot topics that are coming up. One
Speaker 1: specific that I really want to talk about is about
Speaker 1: a human being we've talked a lot about on this podcast,
Speaker 1: specifically recently, So make sure you stay tuned. We're gonna
Speaker 1: get into that right after this break. Al Right, everybody,
Speaker 1: welcome back to help I suck at dating. And as
Speaker 1: Jared promised, there's a human being that we talked about
Speaker 1: way way too much. Well, let's I digress one person.
Speaker 1: We talk about person on this podcast talks about way,
Speaker 1: way too much. Yeah, that's a fair point. I'm going
Speaker 1: to read this because I feel like you're a little
Speaker 1: too close to it. So I'm gonna read it, and
Speaker 1: then I want you, I want to hear your thoughts
Speaker 1: on it. So the headline is Ben Affleck says he
Speaker 1: felt trapped in his marriage to Jennifer Garner. Like that
Speaker 1: headline is is bad enough as it is. This dog,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that dog is freaking out right now. So okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read this little article. We're real quick. Ben
Speaker 1: Affleck opened up about his marriage to Jennifer Gardner, and
Speaker 1: social media is not happy. The last Duel star talked
Speaker 1: to Howard Stern about being wed to Garner and so
Speaker 1: that he that had they not split in two thousand
Speaker 1: and fifteen, that he would probably still be drinking. It's
Speaker 1: part of why I started drinking, Affleck told Howard Stern
Speaker 1: because he was trapped. Obviously, we know they woke up
Speaker 1: not too long ago, their parents of the sixteen year
Speaker 1: old and twelve year old and nine year old kid.
Speaker 1: They had a marriage. I didn't work. Obviously, all these things,
Speaker 1: but Ben Affleck ultimately said that they tried. They tried,
Speaker 1: and we tried because we had kids. The Academy Academy
Speaker 1: Award winning actor has been open about the struggle with
Speaker 1: alcohol and addiction. He says, I was like, it was like,
Speaker 1: I can't leave because my kids and I'm not happy,
Speaker 1: But what do I do? Affleck later said what I
Speaker 1: what I did was drink a bottle of Scotch fall
Speaker 1: asleep on the couch, which turned out to be a
Speaker 1: bad solution to the problem. He says, they, uh, don't
Speaker 1: blame it on her, is what he's saying. So basically
Speaker 1: what I'm sorry, I'm just trying to paraphrase. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to read ahead, and that's why I couldn't really get
Speaker 1: it all out. So basically what he's saying is he
Speaker 1: felt trapped in his marriage with Jennifer Garner because they
Speaker 1: had three kids and he felt like he had a
Speaker 1: resort to alcohol, and so Jared, as a big Ben
Speaker 1: Affleck fan, this doesn't sound bad. It sounds like it's
Speaker 1: probably a lot more common than we are are willing
Speaker 1: to admit. Right, what do you think. I don't get
Speaker 1: why this is such a revelation or why he's getting
Speaker 1: so much criticism because I feel like he is getting
Speaker 1: kind of whacked across the face right now. People are
Speaker 1: mad at Ben Affleck to the point he was on
Speaker 1: Jimmy Kimmel the other day and he addressed it because
Speaker 1: he felt like he was getting so much criticism. And
Speaker 1: I don't get why. Listen, Jennifer Gardner seems like a sweetheart.
Speaker 1: I was really hoping that those two would work things out,
Speaker 1: because again, I like Ben Affleck a lot, but he's
Speaker 1: with j Low, so I'm happy for him. But dude,
Speaker 1: it's like he wasn't It didn't seem to me like
Speaker 1: he was blaming Jennifer Gardner. It just seemed like he
Speaker 1: was saying, I was unhappy, I was depressed, so I
Speaker 1: started drinking. I don't know. And no point does it
Speaker 1: seem like he's blaming Jennifer Gardner for him being an alcoholic.
Speaker 1: He seems like he's blaming himself. Um. I think I
Speaker 1: think the big the big headlines, so to speak, is
Speaker 1: it's not that he was blaming Jennifer Garner, but more
Speaker 1: so that he felt trapped in his relationship with her.
Speaker 1: And I think the part of that is because of
Speaker 1: the kids that they had. Right well, I mean have
Speaker 1: you ever felt like you were trapped in a relationship,
Speaker 1: Like yeah, absolutely, Yeah. It's a pretty shutty feeling, isn't it,
Speaker 1: Where you feel like you can't leave, and then you
Speaker 1: add kids to the situation, it makes it way worse. Now, listen,
Speaker 1: if you want to give him flak for like publicly
Speaker 1: discussing this, then sure. But at the same time, we
Speaker 1: always praise celebrities who opened up their lives to us
Speaker 1: and become vulnerable and talk about real things. This is
Speaker 1: a real thing. And listen, Jennifer Garner, like she seems awesome,
Speaker 1: and I just don't. I think Ben Affleck can be
Speaker 1: open and honest without and without blaming Jennifer Garners. That
Speaker 1: make sense, Like the two are not mutually exclusive. He
Speaker 1: could say he was unhappy and felt like he was
Speaker 1: trapped and he started drinking because of that, and he
Speaker 1: can also not be billaming with Jennifer Gardner, which I
Speaker 1: think he's doing simultaneously. Right. I agree with what you're saying.
Speaker 1: It's not even it's not even a matter of who
Speaker 1: it was that he was married too. It was just
Speaker 1: the fact of the position that he was in, and
Speaker 1: that's why he was like drinking more and all that stuff.
Speaker 1: It's like he could have been married to j Low,
Speaker 1: for instance, at that time too, and I feel like
Speaker 1: this feeling still would have festered and bubbled up to
Speaker 1: the surface. I mean, I don't want to get into
Speaker 1: the thick of it, but that's just that's just my
Speaker 1: interpretation of it. It's not who. It's just a matter
Speaker 1: of him at the end of the day, like you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So my question for you is,
Speaker 1: how does he How is he absorbing all of this
Speaker 1: backlash because he doesn't have social media. I thought I
Speaker 1: think he might be on Instagram, But it's just like
Speaker 1: news publications. He's obviously aware of what people are saying
Speaker 1: about him. That's all it is. He's not ignoring the noise.
Speaker 1: I'll be honest. I didn't know that he had kids.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he has two three kids with Jennifer Gardner.
Speaker 1: I think I thought he was dating on a day
Speaker 1: Armiss who on a day Armist. She was from like
Speaker 1: ward off Bugs and she she's like the new James Bond.
Speaker 1: I think, Oh no, he might have, like you know,
Speaker 1: might have been a fling Eastern's coming in. He knows
Speaker 1: all about this. Apparently that was an exciting time for
Speaker 1: to be a Ben Affleck fan. They were dating in
Speaker 1: like right right before the j LO reboot, and she
Speaker 1: was in Knives Out. If you remember, she's she's the
Speaker 1: main guys that. Yeah, she and she's a very attractive
Speaker 1: young lady. But she's what else she's in bond? What
Speaker 1: else is she known for it? There's something else war Dogs.
Speaker 1: She's the wife and Miles Seller's wife and war Dogs.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that's what I think put
Speaker 1: her on the scene. I only know all these things
Speaker 1: because one of my roommates is uh Is in Madie
Speaker 1: Love Mother. There's there's a movie the title Escapes and
Speaker 1: I'll find it, but Kiana Reeves is in it and
Speaker 1: on it Armis gets naked and and it's a very
Speaker 1: fun movie for those two reasons. Yeah, I think Kiana
Speaker 1: has sex with her in that movie. But I'll send
Speaker 1: you the title off the air. Thanks for sharing that, Easton.
Speaker 1: I really appreciate that. I definitely added to the You're
Speaker 1: welcome to that um quick quick sidebar before we uh wait,
Speaker 1: what were you gonna say, Jared, Because I was just
Speaker 1: gonna say because you were asking about like, oh, is
Speaker 1: he getting trashed? Like I'm I just googled Ben Affleck
Speaker 1: and uh, like all these articles came out. Now granted
Speaker 1: it's like page six, but it says, like, you know,
Speaker 1: Jennifer Gardner pal's trash, Ben Affleck call his comments disgusting. Uh, Cosmopolitan,
Speaker 1: Jennifer Garner's friends think, Ben Afflecking, We're just disgusting. Up up, up,
Speaker 1: up New York. Post one, you know, says Ben Affleck's
Speaker 1: cruelty knows no limits after terrible Jennifer Gardner insult. And
Speaker 1: then yeah, just like a couple of things. Well I
Speaker 1: want to say that, I uh, maybe we should listen
Speaker 1: to the whole interview, but like I don't know those quotes.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, I don't know. Like page six
Speaker 1: also says Jennifer Lopez is pissed about Ben Affleck dissing
Speaker 1: Jennifer Gardner. It's just like who, who, where do you
Speaker 1: get that information from? Like who's saying that Jennifer Gunners pisted.
Speaker 1: I'm sure it's like a quote unquote inside sourcing these
Speaker 1: things that like obviously it's just no one, like they're
Speaker 1: just assuming that she's pissed and they're trying to like
Speaker 1: spend some sort of click baity article out of it.
Speaker 1: I want to say that I'm I'm happy that both
Speaker 1: of them were able to get out of the relationship.
Speaker 1: You know, it's hard to it's hard to leave those relationships.
Speaker 1: I can only imagine when you have kids, especially and
Speaker 1: you're you know, of a certain age for lack of
Speaker 1: a better word, where it's like you're you're very hesitant
Speaker 1: to get back into the dating pool. I think a
Speaker 1: lot of people are like willing to stick through those
Speaker 1: shitty and crappy relationships because of all of the hurdles
Speaker 1: that would come after it. So proaps to them for
Speaker 1: getting out of it, you know, Like, I think that's
Speaker 1: something worth commending. Well, what so you said you felt
Speaker 1: trapped in a relationship before? What did you do? Um?
Speaker 1: I think whenever I felt trapped in a relationship, and
Speaker 1: this is this is years ago, I would resort to
Speaker 1: like getting wasted with my friends and like going out
Speaker 1: and making like a bad decision, like you know, like
Speaker 1: a one night stand or something like that. Because I
Speaker 1: think I'm so conflict a verse that I would always
Speaker 1: give the other person the relationship a reason to break
Speaker 1: up with me, you know, Yeah, so you'd give them
Speaker 1: the upper hand. You intentionally lost the game? Yeah, tanked
Speaker 1: you were like you were like the Atlanta Hawks who
Speaker 1: were just in the NBA, just like, hey, let's tank
Speaker 1: and try to get the number one pick. And as think,
Speaker 1: like we just tank this relationship and try to get
Speaker 1: out of this. I wish I had the like the
Speaker 1: the meant the testicular fortitude to just like step up
Speaker 1: and be like this isn't working for me. We should
Speaker 1: get out. But but I just made bad decisions and
Speaker 1: I hurt people more by doing things. By the way,
Speaker 1: is mad Eye Moody just scratching at the couch right now,
Speaker 1: because can you guys hear that was saying hello Alistair
Speaker 1: Alistair mad Ei Moody, you are adorable. He's a digger,
Speaker 1: he was. He was laying in Bethels last thing, his
Speaker 1: first night. He was digging it for like a good
Speaker 1: thirty manch just like that. He's got to get comfy.
Speaker 1: He does have a big belly, doesn't he Look at
Speaker 1: that thing? What does this accomplish and like stopping up
Speaker 1: his little laying area or something. I think it is
Speaker 1: because like well Lois does the same thing. She'll dig
Speaker 1: and then lay down in the area she just dug
Speaker 1: Now he's going to town though, because he's still doing it.
Speaker 1: I mean like Patty would do this too, but he
Speaker 1: would maybe do like three scratches and be like, Okay, cool,
Speaker 1: that's enough. This guy just goes and goes and go
Speaker 1: is mad II Moody fixed? He is fixed. He's also
Speaker 1: we think he's too fat to like lick his butt.
Speaker 1: We think he like needs to lick something on his butt.
Speaker 1: Boards not sure what, so we gotta swim him down
Speaker 1: a little bit. He was in the foster program for
Speaker 1: a whole month before we got him, and apparently he
Speaker 1: weighed even he was even heavier. He was like six
Speaker 1: pounds heavier than this. So oh wow, Alex, he's got
Speaker 1: some work to do. But anyways, what were we talking about. Well,
Speaker 1: he's gonna cudd He's cuddling right up against you find
Speaker 1: mat II Moody, Hi buddy. Yeah, so that's that's that guy. Um,
Speaker 1: what about you? Have you ever felt trapped in a
Speaker 1: relationship before? Yeah, there was one relationship, but it was
Speaker 1: nobody's fault on my own where I felt trapped at
Speaker 1: the end, where I was having difficulty getting out of it.
Speaker 1: It was that age old story we would break up
Speaker 1: and then we would say, hey, let's take a break
Speaker 1: for a month and see how it goes. And we
Speaker 1: knew it was just going downhill, and it was sad
Speaker 1: and tragic, and just again, like you, I wish I
Speaker 1: had the you know, um, I wish I was just
Speaker 1: I handled the situation better. I always, you know, it's
Speaker 1: kind of one thing I look back at I regret.
Speaker 1: I wish I was more mature in that moment to
Speaker 1: just handle the situation better and be able to communicate better, uh,
Speaker 1: and be more honest and transparent with how I was
Speaker 1: feeling and and where we wanted to go. But it's tough, man.
Speaker 1: It's so much easier said than done. You just don't
Speaker 1: want to hurt somebody's feelings. You don't want to be
Speaker 1: the bad guy. You don't want to make someone sad
Speaker 1: or you know, you don't want to be a part
Speaker 1: of something that's not working out. So I, you know,
Speaker 1: with Ben Affleck and Jennifer Gardner, with any of you know,
Speaker 1: people who get divorced out there. You know, I'm assuming
Speaker 1: that a lot of people who get divorced they kind
Speaker 1: of feel like they almost failed. That's how I felt anyway. UM,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that that's how everybody feels, but at
Speaker 1: least my personal experience, anytime a relationship ended, it was
Speaker 1: like I just felt like a failure type type thing.
Speaker 1: Not you know, not that it was a waste of
Speaker 1: time or you know, I made a mistake. It just
Speaker 1: felt like I failed, you know, That's what it felt like.
Speaker 1: And so that's when I felt trapped, where I felt
Speaker 1: like I was just letting the other person down constantly,
Speaker 1: and I felt like a piece of human being. And
Speaker 1: I would try to mask it or I would try
Speaker 1: to just distract myself or like you said, like just
Speaker 1: kind of like put it to the side and hope,
Speaker 1: you know, I hope that time would heal all wounds.
Speaker 1: So I think, uh, I think something you kind of
Speaker 1: gain with age and the fact that you know you're
Speaker 1: in your relationship with actually now and that's going to
Speaker 1: be the relationship and wrest your life and me with
Speaker 1: Klin and just kind of what you can look back
Speaker 1: on and understand better is there are like so many
Speaker 1: relationships that you were meant to have that were like
Speaker 1: meant to fail, you know what I mean, So that
Speaker 1: way you could be a better husband to your now wife.
Speaker 1: And I think that when you're going through like a
Speaker 1: breakup or a patch with a friend, when when you're younger,
Speaker 1: is you're thinking about all of the negative things about it,
Speaker 1: but like all of those negative things are going to
Speaker 1: lead you to hopefully eventually be like a better partner
Speaker 1: for you know, you're like I said, you're now wife.
Speaker 1: Or if your parents get divorced, Like imagine if your
Speaker 1: parents got divorced and they would be like, oh, our
Speaker 1: marriage was a failure because we're divorced now and you're
Speaker 1: looking at them and you're like, well, no, like your
Speaker 1: marriage gave you guys, me, I don't think. I don't
Speaker 1: think that makes you a failure, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So I think that there's a lot of different ways
Speaker 1: you can look at it. Yeah, it's weird because I
Speaker 1: guess even though they're the same word, I kind of
Speaker 1: define them differently between being a failure and having failed
Speaker 1: at something. You know, it's the same thing, but being
Speaker 1: a failure sounds so much worse to me. It sounds
Speaker 1: like being a loser, I think because being a failure
Speaker 1: kind of insinuates that you're like a repeat offender. You're
Speaker 1: you failed many times, and you will always be failing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: where when you failed at something, you just you failed.
Speaker 1: You know, you've failed the test or you know, you
Speaker 1: failed to accomplish a task. It was just more so
Speaker 1: that one instance that you were not quote unquote good
Speaker 1: enough um to you know, achieve your goal, so to speak.
Speaker 1: But yeah, being a failure. Yeah, when you say it
Speaker 1: like that, I'm like, oh Jesus, never mind, I want
Speaker 1: to take that word out of vocabulary. That sounds terrible. Hey,
Speaker 1: we didn't we didn't get to talk about this much
Speaker 1: in the first segment. But what's your plan for Christmas? Uh?
Speaker 1: Plan for Christmas? Staying home? Um, So my sister just
Speaker 1: had her you know, baby girl. So uh, we'll probably
Speaker 1: just go over that house, eat at home. Dude. I
Speaker 1: just want to eat at home and then pass out
Speaker 1: at five o'clock. I and then like open gifts or
Speaker 1: you know, in the morning, even though it will be
Speaker 1: all gift cards. But that's solely fine. It's more so
Speaker 1: just sitting down around the tree, opening gifts, having a
Speaker 1: Christmas story on in the background, really just feeling all
Speaker 1: the nostalgia that I crave. That's what I'm looking forward to. Um,
Speaker 1: Christmas Eve. I think I'm gonna go over my cousins,
Speaker 1: which I'm so excited about. I just love family gatherings.
Speaker 1: And it sucks right now because everybody's getting more and
Speaker 1: more nervous about COVID. But you know, my family's vaccinated
Speaker 1: and my friends are too, so it's like there's only
Speaker 1: so much we can do and want to spend the
Speaker 1: holidays together. So I'm excited for Christmas Eve, I'm excited
Speaker 1: for Christmas Day. Um. I just it sucks. And I
Speaker 1: don't know if this is a product of getting older
Speaker 1: or just a product of being so busy right now
Speaker 1: with the shop. It just, dude, it does not feel
Speaker 1: like Christmas at all. I haven't watched I've only seen
Speaker 1: like thirty minutes of Christmas Vacation. I haven't watched any
Speaker 1: other Christmas movies. This is bullshit, Like I need to
Speaker 1: get in the spirit. I needed to snow. It's like
Speaker 1: sixty degrees outside and here in Rhode Island it's warmer
Speaker 1: here than in l A. I think this is ridiculous.
Speaker 1: It's pretty cold and la to day. I'll tell you what, Um,
Speaker 1: I got a question for you. So Caitlin and I
Speaker 1: have been arguing back and forth about this pretty consistently
Speaker 1: leading up to it. Christmas Day, so my siblings are
Speaker 1: coming into Vegas to hang out with all together for Christmas.
Speaker 1: Christmas Day, I wanted to plan something for us, like
Speaker 1: go see a show or that's basically what it is.
Speaker 1: I wanted to do see like third Days to lay
Speaker 1: or something on Christmas Day. And Caitlin was like, no,
Speaker 1: Like the point of Christmas Day is to like just
Speaker 1: wake up in the morning and like lounge rout in
Speaker 1: your pajamas all day long and like not having the obligations.
Speaker 1: And I get that, but I also was kind of
Speaker 1: saying like, yeah, but it's like it's it would be boring.
Speaker 1: After a while, was like, let's plan something for late
Speaker 1: later in the day. So what's your stance on that
Speaker 1: Christmas Day? Do you do you want to just stay
Speaker 1: in your house and your pajamas all day or would
Speaker 1: you rather have one thing planned? No, I'm I want
Speaker 1: to stay in my pajamas all day, That's all I
Speaker 1: want to do. I'm listen, I understand your perspective. Like
Speaker 1: a friend of mine, her and her family every single
Speaker 1: Christmas night goes they go to the casino, like that's
Speaker 1: their tradition, and they go gamble as a family. It's
Speaker 1: actually quite fun. But I'm the guy, Dude, I want
Speaker 1: to eat at like two or three, and I want
Speaker 1: to lay down on the couch and watch basketball or
Speaker 1: watch a Christmas movie and then pass the hell out
Speaker 1: and wake up on the twenty six and continue with
Speaker 1: life and get ready for New Year's Eve. Um, that's
Speaker 1: what I want. It sucks, dude. I can't belave Christmas
Speaker 1: is already almost. It's oh my god, it's eight days away.
Speaker 1: That is crazy. It doesn't feel like it, like you
Speaker 1: were saying. I'm obviously not in Rhode Island, but even
Speaker 1: like in l A in Las Vegas, obviously there's never
Speaker 1: really gonna be much snow, but it just doesn't feel
Speaker 1: like it's winter. You know. Yeah, I need a good snowfall.
Speaker 1: It's supposed to possibly snow tomorrow, but it's gonna be
Speaker 1: like rain snow, so it's gonna be disgusting and not
Speaker 1: pretty slushy and like you're gonna be splash around all
Speaker 1: the worst. I need white snow. It snowed a little
Speaker 1: bit a few nights ago, and I captured a nice
Speaker 1: little video outside Audrey's, which is great, but I need
Speaker 1: more snow, and yeah, dude, it just sucks because I'm
Speaker 1: like snow after New Year's just blows. It's like, I
Speaker 1: want snow for the holidays and then I want sun.
Speaker 1: But of course it's gonna snow in January and February
Speaker 1: and we're gonna get four ft of snow and it's
Speaker 1: gonna suck ass because we have nothing to look forward
Speaker 1: to except for spring to come. That's all we have
Speaker 1: to look for. Word too, which is the melting of
Speaker 1: the snow, melting of the snow, warmer weather on the horizon,
Speaker 1: summer almost on deck. That's that's the light at the
Speaker 1: end of the tunnel. That's all we got. So all
Speaker 1: I want for the next week is just one. Doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be a lot. I want flurries anything. Give
Speaker 1: me snow, give me a little bit of cold. I
Speaker 1: like the cold around the holidays. It's way too warm.
Speaker 1: I walked outside this morning. Granted it was a little
Speaker 1: chilly because it was, you know, six o'clock in the morning,
Speaker 1: but it was too warm. I need snow. I'm in
Speaker 1: a relationship, Okay, I need to cuddle. I need hot cocoa. Alright,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not you know, hot girl summer right now?
Speaker 1: This is the hell of Ara and you're going on here. Sorry,
Speaker 1: well you walked away. I didn't know if you were
Speaker 1: going to be able to like still communicate, so I
Speaker 1: was like, I'll just talk for a few minutes until
Speaker 1: Dean sits back down. And now you're here and I'm
Speaker 1: still talking like I feel like Alistair Matdi Moody right now.
Speaker 1: I'm a good ten pounds overweight, I'm pale as hell,
Speaker 1: I'm tired, my back hurts. I'm not in the Christmas spirit.
Speaker 1: I haven't bought any Christmas Presidents. I've bought one one,
Speaker 1: god damn Christmas President all I have. And I'm eight
Speaker 1: days away and I'm not gonna have any free time
Speaker 1: coming up. I've had two and a half hours of
Speaker 1: free time over the past three weeks, and do you
Speaker 1: want to know what I did with that? Do you
Speaker 1: want to know what I did with my two and
Speaker 1: a half hours of free time over the past three weeks.
Speaker 1: I went to go see Spider Man No Way Home
Speaker 1: by myself, And you want to know why, because I'm
Speaker 1: dying to see it. And I was like, you know what, Jared,
Speaker 1: you deserve this. You're invested in the movie. You love film.
Speaker 1: You've been a fan of Spider Man all your life,
Speaker 1: and you need to see this movie before it gets
Speaker 1: spoiled for you. And I'm so happy I did. There's
Speaker 1: literally a movie theater twenty ft maybe not feet from
Speaker 1: my coffee shop in South County Commons. I I left
Speaker 1: the coffee shop at two fifty eight. I saw a
Speaker 1: screening of Spider Man at three o'clock in the movie theater.
Speaker 1: It was over by five thirty, and I was back
Speaker 1: in the coffee shop at five thirty two. Hannah says,
Speaker 1: Jared is stressing me out. I'm losing my mind. No,
Speaker 1: I think this is great. I want you to keep going.
Speaker 1: This is the most fun I've ever had on the
Speaker 1: podcast ever. I'm glad. I'm happy for you. We should
Speaker 1: take a break, man, lots of things we need to
Speaker 1: make more money. Let's take a break and here from
Speaker 1: one of our wonderful sponsors, and we'll be back with
Speaker 1: emails on the other side. What do you say, Dean
Speaker 1: sure thing? Jared, all right, welcome back to the podcast.
Speaker 1: We have emails. Of course, Dean's favorite segment. The only
Speaker 1: reason he deals with my dumbass on this podcast on
Speaker 1: a weekly basis. I don't know who else is in
Speaker 1: the galaxy out there in this Zoom universe. Easton, you
Speaker 1: want to read a email or two? We got to.
Speaker 1: We got one from Devon, We have one from Gabby.
Speaker 1: Both great names. No anonymous this week, but I still
Speaker 1: feel like they're pretty juicy. Easton's nine here is he?
Speaker 1: So it's up to Hunter to reading for us. I
Speaker 1: knew this was coming all right. Our first email is
Speaker 1: from Devon. She says, my boyfriend and I have been
Speaker 1: together for just over two years, and the only real
Speaker 1: issue in our relationship is that his best friend has
Speaker 1: made it clear that she does not like me. She
Speaker 1: constantly makes passive aggressive comments to me, talks crap about
Speaker 1: me to other people in her friend group, and refuses
Speaker 1: to hang out with me even when my boyfriend is there.
Speaker 1: She has literally left parties to avoid me in the past.
Speaker 1: As far as I know, I haven't said or done
Speaker 1: anything to offend her, so I have no idea what
Speaker 1: she has against me. I brought it up to my
Speaker 1: boyfriend several times over the past few months, but he
Speaker 1: keeps brushing it off and telling me not to take
Speaker 1: it personally. I've also tried reaching out to her to
Speaker 1: ask to meet up for lunch and to talk, but
Speaker 1: I've never heard back. What should I do? For context?
Speaker 1: We are all in our early thirties and they've been
Speaker 1: friends for almost nine years. I think I got this one.
Speaker 1: I think I've cracked the case. I love it. Irritable, Jared,
Speaker 1: lay it on us? What do you got for it? Dude?
Speaker 1: This best friend is in love with your boyfriend, and
Speaker 1: she's extremely jealous of you, which is why she hates
Speaker 1: you and wants you out of the picture. She wants
Speaker 1: to eliminate you from the relationship, so the best friend
Speaker 1: can swoop in like Julia Roberts and my best friend's
Speaker 1: wedding and try to convince her best friend that she's
Speaker 1: in love with him. Mm hmm Okay, I think that's
Speaker 1: kind of where my mind went to immediately as well.
Speaker 1: But also let's consider the alternative. Maybe the best friend
Speaker 1: has a good idea for like the best idea for
Speaker 1: the partner that this guy should have, and she doesn't
Speaker 1: agree with with him dating Devon because she knows that
Speaker 1: they're not a match. Think about it this way. There
Speaker 1: is like you know, you can look at it from
Speaker 1: two perspectives where it's like you have the protagonist on
Speaker 1: either side, like the either the best friend is the
Speaker 1: good is the is the good guy or Devon is
Speaker 1: the good guy, and it's like which one is which?
Speaker 1: Obviously it's up for the boyfriend to decide which one
Speaker 1: is which. But one of the one of these people
Speaker 1: are gonna have to go. Yeah, one of them gotta go.
Speaker 1: My initial reaction is saying the best friend, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I have that's so funny. I'm staring at Ashley's VHS
Speaker 1: v h S tapes which she still has on her
Speaker 1: shelf and guests which one is staring me in the face? Um,
Speaker 1: the one that you just talked about my best friend's wedding,
Speaker 1: followed by Win a Day with Tad Hamilton's wedding planner
Speaker 1: ever After, What Women Want a Walk to Remember, Pretty Woman,
Speaker 1: Sleepless in Seattle, when Harry met Sally Ghost and Legally Blonde.
Speaker 1: You know that's a good VHS selection, right If I
Speaker 1: had to make a list of what I would suspect
Speaker 1: Ashley's VHS collection to be, like, that's exactly what it
Speaker 1: would be. Yeah, that's a fair statement. Anyway, back to Devon,
Speaker 1: I feel, yeah, listen, something's up. What makes me take
Speaker 1: Devin's side is Devon is saying that she's reaching out,
Speaker 1: she's extending the olive trach, and this friend is not
Speaker 1: given any wiggle room, which makes me think that this
Speaker 1: friend already has her mind set and isn't willing to
Speaker 1: change it, which makes me think that she's in love
Speaker 1: with the boyfriend and wants to be with him. Yeah. Right,
Speaker 1: that's a good point. It's not a matter. It's not
Speaker 1: like she doesn't like Devin. She's just gonna dislike whoever
Speaker 1: this guy is dating. So it's like the guy I
Speaker 1: could be dating freaking j Lo for goodness sake, and
Speaker 1: she's not gonna like her because, like you said, it
Speaker 1: sounds like she's got the hots for the guy. But
Speaker 1: that's that's It's just it's such a it's such a
Speaker 1: bad tripe to fall into, you know, like, guys and
Speaker 1: girls should be able to be friends without this like
Speaker 1: ulterior motive blooming. So I hate to go there, but
Speaker 1: I do think you're I think that they're like if
Speaker 1: you're reaching out trying to be friendly with his best friend,
Speaker 1: and she's kind of like rebuking all these advances, then
Speaker 1: she just seems like she might be into the guy.
Speaker 1: So what does she do? How do we how do
Speaker 1: we advise Devon to proceed here, because like, I don't
Speaker 1: want to go as far as say, tell your boyfriend
Speaker 1: that he needs to choose between what you or her, right,
Speaker 1: I know, I don't think that's the appropriate I think
Speaker 1: if you do that, you could push the boyfriend away.
Speaker 1: Remember how this full circle moment right here on this
Speaker 1: podcast when we were talking about the situation when with
Speaker 1: Ashley and I, right, she said the pale thing, I
Speaker 1: said the pimple thing, and you said, you know, sometimes
Speaker 1: it's better just to be the bigger person. I think
Speaker 1: right now, Devon, maybe as much as it's gonna suck,
Speaker 1: and you're probably gonna have to swallow your pride a
Speaker 1: little bit. If you are the bigger person in this
Speaker 1: instance and you are killing this best friend with kindness,
Speaker 1: I think you're boyfriend's going to appreciate it. And I
Speaker 1: think all you're gonna do is make the best friend
Speaker 1: even more annoyed and mad, which secretly I think you want, Devon,
Speaker 1: because this person apparently doesn't like you, so treat them
Speaker 1: as if you were working at a coffee shop. Let's
Speaker 1: call this coffee shop Audrey's for for the sake of
Speaker 1: the argument. If you were working at Audrey's and there
Speaker 1: was a customer that came in who was rude and
Speaker 1: disrespectful and wrong, I would ask my employee to just say,
Speaker 1: kill him with kindness. Keep killing with the kindness, and
Speaker 1: then when they walk away, that's when you can say,
Speaker 1: this person sucks under your breath, but killing with kindness.
Speaker 1: Anytime she goes low, you go hi, baby. I was
Speaker 1: gonna say too, to add to bolster that point a
Speaker 1: little bit, is now your boyfriend is going to see
Speaker 1: you being continuously nice to this girl and then she
Speaker 1: he's gonna see her continuously being passive, aggressive and kind
Speaker 1: of jerky towards you. And I think it will silly
Speaker 1: like shift his mindset on who the bigger person really is,
Speaker 1: which what sounds like it's you. So I agree, killing
Speaker 1: with kindness maybe, like, don't go out of your way
Speaker 1: to hang out this person anymore. Like you put your
Speaker 1: you put your effort out there, You did your best.
Speaker 1: She obviously didn't want to reciprocate, and so now like
Speaker 1: just kind of do your best to be the bigger person.
Speaker 1: I agree. I think that's all. That's all sound advice.
Speaker 1: I think that's that's the winning attitude right there. You
Speaker 1: know what else makes me think that Devon is in
Speaker 1: the right here because she's a part of Suck army.
Speaker 1: And if if you listen to help I suck at dating,
Speaker 1: then you have pretty good decision making. And I think, Devin,
Speaker 1: you're probably in the right We got you back, Jared.
Speaker 1: I'm impressed. Man, You're You've got a lot of really good,
Speaker 1: really good things to say today. I need more coffee.
Speaker 1: I think I think you're probably good on the coffee.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, Devin, so there's your answer. I hope
Speaker 1: it works out for you. Check in with us in
Speaker 1: like a month. Let us know how things are going.
Speaker 1: If you're in a situation similar, Devon email us I
Speaker 1: suck a dating at iHeart media dot Com. Always got
Speaker 1: to sneak that in there, um hand. And let's get
Speaker 1: to the last email here, what do you say? All right?
Speaker 1: The last email is from Gabby and she says, this
Speaker 1: is my first time ever emailing any podcast ever, but
Speaker 1: I had to because of the podcast episode titled setting
Speaker 1: the bar Low from February four, in twenty twenty. In
Speaker 1: this episode, you had dr Ish as the guest, and
Speaker 1: you guys are speaking about your relationships. It is so crazy.
Speaker 1: Here Jared talked about wanting to open up a cafe
Speaker 1: and call Audrey's all the way back then and now
Speaker 1: I am seeing it become a reality. Also a dean
Speaker 1: talk about marriage and relationships has changed to the way
Speaker 1: he speaks about it in the recent episodes. So Gabby
Speaker 1: has five questions, but I think we can this last
Speaker 1: episode of one with this question. It seems pretty fitting.
Speaker 1: She says, how do you think you have grown in
Speaker 1: the last two years individually, as a couple and personally
Speaker 1: in relation to your relationship? M m well, I want
Speaker 1: to start off by saying, well, a couple of things
Speaker 1: I want to say, Gabby, thanks for being a listener.
Speaker 1: Thanks for emailing your first podcast ever, We're not we're
Speaker 1: honored to be uh. To have that milestone attached to
Speaker 1: your podcast emailby Gabby feels like a plant's yeah, there's
Speaker 1: she's too good. This is too good of a question,
Speaker 1: too good of a listener. This is Hannah in disguise.
Speaker 1: I don't care. She's real. Gabby, You're questioning it. Thank
Speaker 1: you very Gabby. If you're real, you're amazing, and we
Speaker 1: love you so much because this is one hell of
Speaker 1: an email. This is where my first thought went to,
Speaker 1: is that Jared. She's giving Jared a lot of credit
Speaker 1: and she's not giving me. Not that I deserve it,
Speaker 1: but Jared, you said something in February, and look, in
Speaker 1: December it became a reality, Dean, you're getting better at
Speaker 1: your relationship. It wasn't just February. It was February of
Speaker 1: last year. It was a year, almost two years. I
Speaker 1: missed that. I thought it was a buriod of this year.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so you have a very tangible, fungible thing,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And then me, I just
Speaker 1: I got better in my relationship. That's that's my takeaway
Speaker 1: from what Gabby said. But you know, I digress. I
Speaker 1: I appreciate it nonetheless because you're right, I have gotten
Speaker 1: way better at my relationship, which is not really a
Speaker 1: thing that can be said, because who's to say that
Speaker 1: I am better? I don't know, Like who's to say
Speaker 1: a little better? Well, we can ask Kalin, She'll know, yeah,
Speaker 1: but like who is she to even say whether I'm
Speaker 1: better or not? You know what I mean, Like, there's
Speaker 1: just a lot of She's an important piece in that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't disagree with that. My point is you've got
Speaker 1: this very like tangible, like brick and mortar, rock solid thing,
Speaker 1: and then mine just like an arbitrary thought that's out
Speaker 1: in the ether somewhere. UM. Anyways, So the question was,
Speaker 1: how do you think you've grown in the last year's individually,
Speaker 1: as a couple and personally in relation to your relationship. UM.
Speaker 1: I think that over the past two years. I uh, well,
Speaker 1: Caitlin and I kind of got into a argument about this,
Speaker 1: and so maybe this isn't the best example to use,
Speaker 1: but I would say that I, um, over the past
Speaker 1: two years, have gotten a lot more considerate of Kalin's
Speaker 1: UM I guess feelings a and like her livelihood have.
Speaker 1: I take that in a lot more consideration when I
Speaker 1: make my decisions on a regular basis. Uh. The reason
Speaker 1: it kind of became a conversation piece today was I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I'm gonna go play golf two days
Speaker 1: tomorrow or next week with my one of my good
Speaker 1: buddies in Las Vegas, and she was like, oh, like,
Speaker 1: we have a lot of stuff to do around the house,
Speaker 1: and I was like, well, I was kind of just
Speaker 1: giving you the courtesy of telling you what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: I'm not like, I'm not sitting here asking for your
Speaker 1: permission to do it, you know what I mean. So
Speaker 1: while I do say that, well, I do say that
Speaker 1: I'm no more considered at her feelings and the things
Speaker 1: that she wants. I still have to I still have
Speaker 1: to do the things that I want to do to
Speaker 1: make me happy. Right, Yeah, you got to be a
Speaker 1: little have a little individuality, uh I I mean going forward,
Speaker 1: I maybe you know, wouldn't phrase it the way you
Speaker 1: phrased it in terms of you don't have to ask
Speaker 1: her permission to do things. She hated me saying that.
Speaker 1: My point, what my rebuttal with that was, I was
Speaker 1: saying like, if she was telling me she was going
Speaker 1: to go do something, I would never make her reconsider
Speaker 1: doing it. So that was just being like, like, I
Speaker 1: want you to be able to do whatever you want
Speaker 1: guilt free, and I want that luxury to be extended
Speaker 1: up to me too, Like I don't want to have
Speaker 1: to feel guilty for doing something that I want to
Speaker 1: do that it's gonna make me happy, you know. Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: I mean you should. You guys will totally be fine
Speaker 1: in marriage. Uh. How do you think you've grown in
Speaker 1: the last two years individually? I don't. I think I've
Speaker 1: been more ingrained in my relationship. I'm more Mr Ashley
Speaker 1: I now than I ever was prior. Uh So, how
Speaker 1: have I grown in the relationship? Again? I just tell
Speaker 1: her she's more and more right every day. Oh that's love, man,
Speaker 1: that's just beautiful love. That's just being tired and just
Speaker 1: accepting the fact that I'm second fiddle and that's fine.
Speaker 1: Soon to be third fiddle. And I was gonna say
Speaker 1: soon to be third fiddle exactly right. Um, alright, Hannah,
Speaker 1: what about this? There's five questions here? What's the second one? Hannah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: come on, Hannah, help us out the best. Okay. The
Speaker 1: second question says, I relate a lot to Jared when
Speaker 1: he said he was really wanting to be with this
Speaker 1: family in Rhode Island and having a hard time separating
Speaker 1: him and Ashley moving forward together, versus him his family
Speaker 1: and Ashley moving forward together. With that being said, Jared,
Speaker 1: how is your mindset with that now since you are back?
Speaker 1: I remember having a hard time separating him and Ashley
Speaker 1: moving forward together. I don't think I ever had issues
Speaker 1: separating Ashley, and I've like separating Ashley for um my family.
Speaker 1: I think my goal moving home was to only integrate
Speaker 1: Ashley more into my family, which I think I've um
Speaker 1: succeeded in that goal. She's now very close with my
Speaker 1: sister and my mom and my cousins, and you know,
Speaker 1: she comes watched me. She comes to watch me play
Speaker 1: co ed softball on Sundays, which is always fun. Uh,
Speaker 1: And it's just yeah, I mean, moving to Rhode Island,
Speaker 1: I wanted Ashley to be more ingrained in the family,
Speaker 1: and she has been so it's honestly been really good.
Speaker 1: So that's my mindset, just to you know, i'd say,
Speaker 1: I guess the only difficult part is having her parents
Speaker 1: be in a different state because she she gets jealous
Speaker 1: sometimes rightfully, so that like I get to see my
Speaker 1: family so much and she doesn't get to see her
Speaker 1: parents as much. But you know, I mean I told
Speaker 1: her from day one that I was wanting to move
Speaker 1: back to Rhode Island and for that purpose to see
Speaker 1: my family more often. So it's not surprised or anything
Speaker 1: like that, but I guess that's something she's had to
Speaker 1: deal with a little bit more, and you know that sucks.
Speaker 1: Like if I was, if we lived in Virginia and
Speaker 1: we were with her parents seven and her sister, I'd
Speaker 1: be like, well, like, I want to I want to
Speaker 1: go to dinner with my family that you know tomorrow,
Speaker 1: but you just can't. Cool. Well, that's that's a very
Speaker 1: nice answer there, Jared. You like I said, you've been
Speaker 1: on fire today. Man, Sorry, I was. I did kind of.
Speaker 1: I did kind of drift off a little bit there.
Speaker 1: I'm paying one of my car payments, so, um, do that?
Speaker 1: Is it late? Are you? Is it due today? Seven
Speaker 1: days later? But they give me a seven They give
Speaker 1: me grace spirit, so it's not fifty days, fifteen days.
Speaker 1: That's one hell of a grace period. What kind of
Speaker 1: car do you have? It's my motorcycle, it's my hearty.
Speaker 1: But h on that note, I think it's time for
Speaker 1: a second dinged immediately. If I don't pay within like
Speaker 1: five minutes, I'm charging thirty bucks. I want to set
Speaker 1: up auto pay, but they won't let me set up
Speaker 1: auto pay. It's the dumbest thing in the world. But
Speaker 1: it's coming to a close. Thank you. Guys so much
Speaker 1: for joining us for our last episode of two thousand
Speaker 1: and twenty one. We got some big changes on the
Speaker 1: way for Help I Suck a Dating coming early. We
Speaker 1: haven't fully ironed out exactly what they're gonna be yet,
Speaker 1: but we have been discussing, um some things. I don't
Speaker 1: know if I if I want to say anything specific yet,
Speaker 1: but there might be a new face to look at
Speaker 1: if you're watching this through the video. There might be
Speaker 1: a new voice to hear if you're listening to the audio.
Speaker 1: So just kind of keep your ear close to the
Speaker 1: ground and uh, you know, see what happens next, because
Speaker 1: honestly I don't I don't know yet, but we're working
Speaker 1: on something anyways. That's gonna do it for this week's episode.
Speaker 1: That's gonna do it for this year's episode of Help
Speaker 1: I Secred Dating. Big thank you to Gabby, Big thank
Speaker 1: you to Devon for emailing us. Keep the emails rolling,
Speaker 1: help Wait now what is the email? I just I
Speaker 1: suck at dating at I heeart media dot com. And
Speaker 1: I say it one more time, I suck at dating
Speaker 1: at I heeart media dot com. My computer is about
Speaker 1: to die. This is incredible timing time I hope you
Speaker 1: guys all have an incredible merry Christmas, a happy Hanukah,
Speaker 1: happy Kwanza, just the holidays across the board. If you
Speaker 1: don't celebrate, just have a great end of your year. Um,
Speaker 1: hopefully you have a happy New Year. Be safe, don't
Speaker 1: drink and drive. What else, Jared? Anything else? Before we
Speaker 1: say goodbye? Happy holidays? You fill the animals, Jared, another
Speaker 1: great year with you. I love you so much. I
Speaker 1: can't made it another year. Yes, look at us? Who
Speaker 1: would have thought? Right? Freaking calls potting mix because the
Speaker 1: miracle girl we're about to experience is going to be
Speaker 1: even more so than we had last year. Um, Hannah,
Speaker 1: you're incredible. East and I feel like I'm on I'm
Speaker 1: giving my Oscar speech right now. I couldn't do it
Speaker 1: without Hana. I couldn't do it without East and Mark
Speaker 1: everyone back in the studio for mixing this together. We're
Speaker 1: gonna start paying. Yeah all right, guys, I gotta go
Speaker 1: so I'll see you all later. Um, have a have
Speaker 1: a have a great rest of your year. See you
Speaker 1: follow hell by suck at dating on I Heart Radio
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to podcast it too. You