WEBVTT - Tis the (Cuffing) Season 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.640 Hell I Suck At Dating with Dengler and Jared Haven 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:11.639 and I heard radio podcast What's going on? Everyone? Welcome 0:00:11.680 --> 0:00:15.400 to an all new episode of Help I Suck At Dating. 0:00:15.600 --> 0:00:19.000 And it's a special special episode because not only is 0:00:19.040 --> 0:00:21.720 it just another episode, but it's also the last episode 0:00:22.360 --> 0:00:24.920 of two thousand and twenty one, believe it or not, 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:28.720 the year insane. It's drawn to a close. Man, Jared, 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:32.880 I gotta ask you one question, just one. There's gonna 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:34.600 be a short as podcast if you only ask me 0:00:34.640 --> 0:00:37.440 one question. Yeah. I figure we'll give our listeners to 0:00:37.479 --> 0:00:39.320 break and just have a five minute podcast at the 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:42.800 end of the year. Um, what what was your one like? 0:00:42.920 --> 0:00:44.800 Do you would you consider it overall a good year, 0:00:45.000 --> 0:00:47.720 a bad year, a weird year? It sounds it seems 0:00:47.720 --> 0:00:49.360 like a lot happened for you this year, But what 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:51.440 would you overall? What would you rate it? Yeah? I 0:00:51.479 --> 0:00:53.360 always get a little emotional towards the end of the year. 0:00:53.360 --> 0:00:56.240 I think that John Lennon song raised like it's it's 0:00:56.240 --> 0:00:58.520 a Christmas song. I can't remember the name of it now, 0:00:58.560 --> 0:01:03.080 but he's like a a year like just when and 0:01:03.120 --> 0:01:06.640 a new one begins again? Like very attached to two 0:01:06.720 --> 0:01:09.800 years and looking back and thinking about everything that's happened. 0:01:10.160 --> 0:01:12.479 So when I think about one, definitely a good year. 0:01:12.520 --> 0:01:14.600 I mean, dude, I'm still breathing. If I'm breathing, it's 0:01:14.600 --> 0:01:19.200 been a good year. And so we moved from Los 0:01:19.200 --> 0:01:22.280 Angeles back to Rhode Island cross country. That feels like 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:24.800 ten years ago, but that was earlier. This year, I 0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:27.600 went back to school and graduated, got my bachelor's long 0:01:27.680 --> 0:01:32.520 time coming. Uh, started a business. It's going well. I'm 0:01:32.560 --> 0:01:39.160 exhausted and just tired seven, but it's going really well. 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:46.319 Ashley is pregnant. We're having a kid. Uh what else happened? 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:48.600 I gotta say, of all of all the things for 0:01:48.640 --> 0:01:50.960 you the list off. I'm surprised it took you that 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:55.440 long to say Ashley got pregnant, if it, because now 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:58.280 it doesn't feel that different. Nothing really has changed. In 0:01:58.280 --> 0:01:59.920 the beginning, it felt a lot different when she was 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:03.560 constantly sick and debilitated and couldn't do anything. She's still 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:05.880 a little sick, but now she's a functioning human being, 0:02:05.960 --> 0:02:08.520 just with a big belly. So it feels a little 0:02:08.520 --> 0:02:11.520 bit normal right now. I'm sure next year, when the 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:14.960 kid is born, that is when it's going to be like, Okay, 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:18.240 this was a drastic change from my life prior, but 0:02:18.320 --> 0:02:20.080 as of right now, it's like, oh yeah, she just 0:02:20.080 --> 0:02:22.120 bumps into things with her belly. That's pretty much the 0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:26.880 difference right now. Uh. And what else, you know, Uh, 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:29.320 you know, unfortunately had a couple of lost My grandfather 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:32.080 passed away, and we lost our childhood dog. You know, 0:02:32.160 --> 0:02:36.400 you lost Pappy, So there's it's you know, definitely a 0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:38.480 little bit of a sad year too. But you know, 0:02:39.120 --> 0:02:41.160 it's kind of weird because when I think about death, 0:02:41.600 --> 0:02:45.040 it's a part of life, and you know, you had 0:02:45.040 --> 0:02:47.000 so much, you know, you were able to give Pappy 0:02:47.120 --> 0:02:48.680 such a good life towards the end. And I think 0:02:48.680 --> 0:02:50.919 about my grandfather and it's like it's tragic, but he 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:52.960 was also at ninety And I'm like, man, if my 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:55.600 parents make it till ninety, how could I ever complain? 0:02:56.160 --> 0:02:58.280 So I don't know. This year put a lot of 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:01.760 things into perspective. I think, a lot of life altering moves. 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:06.720 So uh, personally, I felt it was a good year. 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:11.519 Very philosophical of you, you know, Yeah, dude, I get philosophical. 0:03:11.520 --> 0:03:13.480 Towards the end of the year, I I like, I said, 0:03:13.560 --> 0:03:17.120 it's it's an emotional time. Man. We're getting older, you know, 0:03:18.120 --> 0:03:21.000 it's crazy. We're getting older every second. We're older now 0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:23.000 than we were when we started this podcast, to which 0:03:23.040 --> 0:03:25.600 is uh scary to think about. That is a fact. 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:30.040 And dude, it's two. How do we not have flying 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:33.720 cars yet? It's two yet? Well, we gotta cut ourselves 0:03:33.760 --> 0:03:39.240 some slack here almost. Um sorry, I'm watching this dog 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:41.760 run around right before we started this podcast. We've got 0:03:41.760 --> 0:03:44.600 these sliding glass doors here in Los Angeles, and he 0:03:44.680 --> 0:03:46.560 like ran full steam at head right into the sliding 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:48.800 glass door and he just bunked his head pretty hardest. 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:51.720 Very sad, but very funny to see he's fine. Obviously, 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:56.480 Um was you know, I would say, overall, pretty gosh 0:03:56.560 --> 0:03:58.840 darn good year. Trying to think back all the way 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:03.000 to January. Um, I mean, obviously we bought our house 0:04:03.040 --> 0:04:05.560 in one I'm never thought I'd be a homeowner, but 0:04:05.600 --> 0:04:08.760 here we are living our best lives out in Las Vegas, 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:12.280 and uh, that's pretty, you know, pretty interesting and exciting 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:15.920 for us. I suppose. Obviously we lost Patty pretty recently. 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:19.719 That was pretty traumatic and heartbreaking, but like he said, 0:04:19.720 --> 0:04:21.680 with all death comes life and Honestly, the fact that 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:24.320 we get to experience death is like a pretty pretty 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:26.840 large blessing, you know what I mean. Like the fact 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:30.640 that we're experiencing other things die around us as morbid 0:04:30.640 --> 0:04:32.440 as it sounds, is like pretty cool because that just 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:35.920 means that we're living long and we're you know, it's 0:04:35.920 --> 0:04:37.480 like it's and to be able to like process those 0:04:37.480 --> 0:04:41.120 types of things is really unique and interesting. So that sucked, 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:44.120 but it was you know, it's still I guess whatever. Uh. 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:47.440 We just got this new dog just the other day. 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:50.600 His name from the shelter is Muttley. I was just 0:04:50.640 --> 0:04:53.200 telling you guys before we got on air. He's Muttley. 0:04:53.279 --> 0:04:55.960 He's nine years old. He weighs twenty two pounds and 0:04:56.000 --> 0:04:57.680 he should be weighing like twelve pounds, so he's a 0:04:57.680 --> 0:05:00.560 good ten pounds overweight. He's got cat or acts or 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:04.680 something wrong with his eyeballs. But you know, we we 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:06.640 kind of felt we were kind of torn on what 0:05:06.720 --> 0:05:09.240 to do because like we're still grieving the loss of Pappy, 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:11.560 but we like missed a little pitter patterns of footsteps 0:05:11.600 --> 0:05:14.640 around the house. Oh, he's peeing in the house right now. 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:18.680 He's a marker. So he just marks things all the time. Yeah, 0:05:18.800 --> 0:05:20.920 he's he's his new house. Bro. He's gotta you know, 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:23.159 he's gotta. He's gonna let you guys know who's boss. 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:25.280 He's laying claim to the house as he should, as 0:05:25.279 --> 0:05:29.039 he should. Um. We yeah, we weren't sure what to 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:30.960 do because we miss Pappy. We're still grieving the loss 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:32.280 of Pappy, but like at the end of the day, 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:35.159 we miss uh just the companionship that the dog brought 0:05:35.279 --> 0:05:38.200 into our lives. And um, guys, where as it sounds like, 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:40.240 you know, just to have like a third person in 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:43.080 the relationship, Like obviously it's not really a person, it's 0:05:43.080 --> 0:05:45.680 a dog, but you can kind of have like he's 0:05:45.720 --> 0:05:47.039 like a therapist in a way. You can kind of 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:49.839 have like conversations with each other through the dog, and 0:05:49.880 --> 0:05:52.400 he's like kind of like the impartial bystander in any 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:54.839 of those conversations. Yeah, dogs are the best listeners. What 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:58.000 is his what is his name again? Well, from the 0:05:58.000 --> 0:06:01.400 foster his name was Muttley. Um, and he's got like 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:04.240 medical records dating back to you know, years ago with 0:06:04.279 --> 0:06:06.840 the name Mutley. So that is his name, but we 0:06:07.000 --> 0:06:10.240 hate the name Mutley. Or he's a good boy, we've 0:06:10.279 --> 0:06:13.159 got like three names. We've got like five names that 0:06:13.200 --> 0:06:15.760 we want to consider. I want to name him Alistair, 0:06:16.760 --> 0:06:19.040 after the guy from Harry Potter with the wonky eyeball, 0:06:19.400 --> 0:06:21.160 because he's got a wonky eyeball. I thought that'd be 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:28.000 pretty funny. Yeah, yeah, that professor um Or. I want 0:06:28.000 --> 0:06:31.200 to name him Gordo, which would be funny because Caylin 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:36.119 loves Lizzie McGuire, but also Gordo in Spanish means fat, 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:38.440 and since he's so overweight, it's kind of like a 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:41.040 double entendre in a sense like that. Easton also just 0:06:41.120 --> 0:06:44.359 chimed in mad Eye Moody. That's what I think, Alistair, 0:06:44.360 --> 0:06:46.560 mad Eye Moody. That's right. And then I said, let's 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:49.240 name a Moody, but Caitlin wasn't into Moody. And then 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:52.440 the last one, um I think I wanted to name 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:55.080 him Oslo or something like that. It's just hard because 0:06:55.080 --> 0:06:56.560 we like, we don't want to keep calling Hi Mutley, 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:58.040 but we want to settle on a name, and so 0:06:58.040 --> 0:07:00.040 we're just giving it some time. So I vote for 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:04.080 matt Ei Moody the whole name. Yeah, Alistair mad Ei Moody. 0:07:04.160 --> 0:07:06.560 So every time, like matt Ei Moody, Come here, Come here, 0:07:06.560 --> 0:07:10.160 mad Eim Moody, play dead I Moody. That's the thing too, 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:11.560 It's like you don't want to be like yelling at 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:14.040 the dog and having to spit out like nine syllables, 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:16.480 because what what kind of it's like when you're when 0:07:16.480 --> 0:07:18.200 your parents would be like really angry at you and 0:07:18.240 --> 0:07:20.440 they would use your middle name to yell at you. Dude, 0:07:20.440 --> 0:07:22.240 that dog is nine years old and you guys just 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:24.680 got him. There's no way you're yelling at that dog. Yeah, 0:07:25.080 --> 0:07:28.480 spoil the ship out of Motley as you well should. 0:07:28.880 --> 0:07:32.160 His name is not Mutley, Okay, it's Alistair mad Ei Moody. Sorry, 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:34.720 you're gonna spoiler out of Alistair Madi Moody, and he 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:37.840 should have all four names. So overall, I think I 0:07:37.840 --> 0:07:42.680 got a little sidetrack there over one great great year, um, 0:07:42.880 --> 0:07:45.760 minus the negatives. And like, obviously we've kind of got 0:07:45.760 --> 0:07:49.040 a better hold on this whole COVID thing, so we've 0:07:49.040 --> 0:07:52.120 been able to travel a little bit more freely. Um, 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:54.400 Obviously we got this whole Omnicron thing going on and 0:07:54.400 --> 0:07:57.800 all that kind of stuff, but we've got we've gotten 0:07:57.800 --> 0:07:59.680 some of our liberties back, which is pretty nice, you know, 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:01.960 like we and go outside and go to stores and 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:06.800 see friends and not have to worry as much. So yeah, 0:08:06.960 --> 0:08:09.800 I would say, pretty pretty decent year all around. I 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:12.320 remember when I was single and thinking about the New 0:08:12.400 --> 0:08:15.440 Year and be like, oh, you know, this is the 0:08:15.520 --> 0:08:18.840 year that I'm gonna meet Like I I would. I 0:08:18.880 --> 0:08:21.200 would think a lot, whether it be Christmas or New 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:23.680 Year's when I was single, and be like, Okay, by 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:27.520 this time next year, I will be in a relationship, 0:08:27.760 --> 0:08:29.720 so I don't spend the holidays alone. And then a 0:08:29.840 --> 0:08:32.080 year would go by and I would be single again, 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:36.320 spending the holidays alone, and be like, Okay, I didn't 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:38.480 really get that far this year. Next year is the 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:40.600 year that I'm going to have a relationship. And then 0:08:40.720 --> 0:08:43.199 a year would go by and then the same thing, 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:45.559 and then I ended up getting married, and that's how 0:08:45.600 --> 0:08:48.400 my life went. So you were always hoping to be 0:08:48.440 --> 0:08:50.439 in a relationship for I don't think, like I guess 0:08:50.440 --> 0:08:53.560 maybe I just I reminisced too much and I glorify 0:08:53.679 --> 0:08:56.640 the past, so I think I like, I always think 0:08:56.720 --> 0:09:02.240 like during Christmas that okay, next year at Christmas, I 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:04.800 will be in a relationship. But I don't think I'm 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:07.240 alone on that. Everybody feels lonely during the holidays when 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:09.640 they're single. Well, there's the reason. It's there's a reason 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:12.480 it's called the cuffing season, you know, because it's cold outside. 0:09:12.520 --> 0:09:14.360 You just want someone to like stay indoors with and 0:09:14.400 --> 0:09:17.480 snuggle with and drincock cocoa and maybe you put down 0:09:17.480 --> 0:09:19.920 like a glass of wine or two watch a crappy 0:09:20.240 --> 0:09:25.800 funny movie. Is that funny that the weather like makes 0:09:25.800 --> 0:09:28.679 you either want to be single in a relationship when 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:32.720 do you want to be in a relationship? It is. 0:09:32.840 --> 0:09:35.160 It is pretty curious why that. I mean, obviously it's 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:36.880 pretty clear why it is. But like, it is funny 0:09:36.920 --> 0:09:39.680 how it's just like uniform across the like, no matter 0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:41.760 where you are in the world. As long as there's 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:44.880 like these dramatic swings between seasons, I'm sure everyone feels 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:47.080 exactly the same way. Like Summer you're like taking your 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:49.040 clothes off and your party at the beach. Winter you're 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:55.839 bundling up and you're having there's there's suntan lotion you have, 0:09:56.040 --> 0:10:01.160 um speaking of having a tan, Yeah, you went, dude, 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:03.720 I haven't seen the sun in like three weeks. All right, 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:08.600 I'm a hard working man. You're looking real Robert Pattinson esque, 0:10:08.679 --> 0:10:12.880 which I'm sure Ashley loves. Dude. It's crazy how pale 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:17.079 I get. It's honestly an insecurity of mine. Hi. I 0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:20.560 remember one time Ashley. I made Ashley cry. I felt bad, 0:10:20.600 --> 0:10:22.600 but at the same time she made me feel bad. 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:26.480 So I get super pale during the winter, insane security 0:10:26.480 --> 0:10:28.640 of mine because I feel like I don't look that 0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:33.240 good pale. I'm like translucent. But I walked in This 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:35.960 was during the pandemic. I think. I can't remember what 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:38.400 it was, but the point is We're at Ashley's parents 0:10:38.400 --> 0:10:41.480 house and I walked into the room and Ashley was like, man, 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:45.000 you were looking real pale lately. And I said, yeah, 0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:49.640 well you're looking real pimplee lately. Apparently I hit a 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:52.640 nerve and she started crying and she was like, you know, 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:54.559 that's an insecurity of mine. I was like, well, that's 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:58.040 an insecurity of mine. She's like, it's the hormones. It's 0:10:58.080 --> 0:11:00.920 not me. I know, so I don't. I'd actually like 0:11:01.000 --> 0:11:03.079 to put a poll out there to suck army because 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:06.360 I still feel like I didn't do that much wrong. 0:11:06.400 --> 0:11:08.720 What do you think? She came at me, she said, 0:11:09.080 --> 0:11:13.280 you're looking real pale lately, And granted she said it sarcastically, 0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:15.280 but there was definitely truth in it, because, as you 0:11:15.320 --> 0:11:20.120 can see, I get white as hell. So then I 0:11:20.200 --> 0:11:23.719 rebuttled with, well, you're really looking real pimplee lately. She 0:11:23.720 --> 0:11:26.319 started crying and she thought that I was being a jerk. 0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:29.800 What do you think? Um, I'll tell you. I'll tell you. 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:35.079 I'll tell you what. You don't care? Uh no, I oh, 0:11:35.120 --> 0:11:39.280 I absolutely care. Um, you know how bad, how hurt 0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:42.400 you were for her to say that thing to you, 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:44.760 and then you were like, this paint sucks. Feel it 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:47.840 with me? That's pretty that's pretty bad. That's a jerk move. 0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:51.000 On top of that, on top of that, on top 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:53.040 of wanting her to come is right with you? And 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:57.200 in that bad feeling, she's also pregnant and she's bearing 0:11:57.280 --> 0:12:01.000 the fruit of your loins. Um, I think that she 0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:04.320 kind of gets she should get a pass for any 0:12:04.440 --> 0:12:07.080 mean things she says from now until mid February and 0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:10.160 probably you know, a few months beyond. To be fair, 0:12:10.320 --> 0:12:12.000 I can't remember if she was pregned or not. I 0:12:12.040 --> 0:12:14.720 don't remember what this was oh, well in that case. 0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:17.560 In that case, yeah, it changes the whole dynamic of 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:21.880 the conversation. Eastern shin or no hanasan it said jerk. Well, 0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:26.920 so she's allowed to like jab at me, but I 0:12:26.960 --> 0:12:29.960 can't jab back. Is this this seems a little sexist? 0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:34.120 O Hannah says, yep, I mean, listen, um, it happens. 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:36.480 It happens with me and Caitlin pretty often. You know, 0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:40.400 she'll say something, uh, digging out one of my insecurities. 0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:43.880 Actually no, she doesn't really, but it does take a 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:45.880 lot of self restraint not to like lean in and 0:12:45.920 --> 0:12:48.400 say something mean back. And I just she probably caught 0:12:48.440 --> 0:12:50.080 you on an off day, you know, like, let's give 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:51.599 you the benefit of the doubt. There, you were just 0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:53.880 having an off day. You're a little irritable. Perhaps maybe 0:12:53.880 --> 0:12:55.880 you hadn't had your morning cup of coffee. Maybe I 0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:59.680 had too much coffee, could have been he's I don't know, 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:01.440 I don't know. But you're still looking back on it now, 0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:03.360 I saying you don't think you did anything wrong, which 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:05.559 maybe you did. Maybe there maybe there's some context here 0:13:05.559 --> 0:13:08.120 that we're missing out on. No, not really, that's the 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:12.200 whole story right there. So I want to Yeah, suck Army, 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:14.600 let us know in the emails and on Instagram. I 0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:16.440 want to know if I was being a jerk or 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:19.679 not like or at least can we at least agree 0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:22.160 maybe I was sixty? It was sixty? Is that a 0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:24.880 fair number? Hannah? What do you think at least I'll 0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:27.720 take I'll take six of the blame. I'm not saying 0:13:27.720 --> 0:13:31.040 Ashley is completely She says, sure, she doesn't care. This 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:34.640 is ridiculous. Ashley deserves at least the blame on that one. 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:36.920 Let me say this, if it wasn't for Ashley making 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:38.959 that an original comment, there would have been no need 0:13:39.040 --> 0:13:40.679 for you to make the rebuttal. So, yeah, she's not 0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:45.280 blameless in the situation, There's no question about it. Um. 0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:47.240 Just how much blame are Well were willing to put 0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:50.319 on Ashley? I'm saying for if we if we want 0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:52.320 to put a number two, I would say sixty is good. 0:13:52.320 --> 0:13:56.200 Six your fault, her fault. Uh. There's this one quote 0:13:56.240 --> 0:13:58.160 that always six with me that maybe you should carry 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:00.760 this over next time. Ashley says, you know, takes a 0:14:00.800 --> 0:14:02.840 dig at you. Oh God, can't wait to hear it. 0:14:03.000 --> 0:14:10.280 It's it's simple, It's just it's controversy. Wait, uh, conflict 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:14.200 can't survive without your participation, and so she says something mean, 0:14:14.559 --> 0:14:17.559 there can't be any conflict unless you choose to participate 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:20.160 in that conflict. So all you gotta do is wash 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:22.320 your hands clean and in your head. Maybe maybe just 0:14:22.320 --> 0:14:23.720 stay it in your head, but don't stay it out loud, 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:26.720 and just walk away and be the bigger man, be 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:28.600 the bigger person. I guess not to be too gender 0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:31.280 specific here, that's my advice, but what do I know. 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:34.240 I I suck at dating just as much as anyone else. 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:37.640 It's just it's it's funny to look back and diagnosed 0:14:37.680 --> 0:14:41.080 the situation. Yeah, hindsight's always twenty and twenty. Well, we 0:14:41.120 --> 0:14:42.920 do have some hot topics that are coming up. One 0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:45.960 specific that I really want to talk about is about 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:48.920 a human being we've talked a lot about on this podcast, 0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:52.360 specifically recently, So make sure you stay tuned. We're gonna 0:14:52.400 --> 0:15:05.240 get into that right after this break. Al Right, everybody, 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:08.040 welcome back to help I suck at dating. And as 0:15:08.120 --> 0:15:11.600 Jared promised, there's a human being that we talked about 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:16.480 way way too much. Well, let's I digress one person. 0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:19.160 We talk about person on this podcast talks about way, 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:22.120 way too much. Yeah, that's a fair point. I'm going 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:23.640 to read this because I feel like you're a little 0:15:23.680 --> 0:15:25.600 too close to it. So I'm gonna read it, and 0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:27.080 then I want you, I want to hear your thoughts 0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:29.280 on it. So the headline is Ben Affleck says he 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:32.640 felt trapped in his marriage to Jennifer Garner. Like that 0:15:32.680 --> 0:15:36.840 headline is is bad enough as it is. This dog, 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:39.000 I'm sorry that dog is freaking out right now. So okay, 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:41.000 I'm gonna read this little article. We're real quick. Ben 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:43.640 Affleck opened up about his marriage to Jennifer Gardner, and 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:46.240 social media is not happy. The last Duel star talked 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:48.320 to Howard Stern about being wed to Garner and so 0:15:48.480 --> 0:15:50.840 that he that had they not split in two thousand 0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:53.640 and fifteen, that he would probably still be drinking. It's 0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:56.960 part of why I started drinking, Affleck told Howard Stern 0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:00.440 because he was trapped. Obviously, we know they woke up 0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:04.240 not too long ago, their parents of the sixteen year 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:06.080 old and twelve year old and nine year old kid. 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:09.200 They had a marriage. I didn't work. Obviously, all these things, 0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:12.680 but Ben Affleck ultimately said that they tried. They tried, 0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:16.640 and we tried because we had kids. The Academy Academy 0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:19.400 Award winning actor has been open about the struggle with 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:22.400 alcohol and addiction. He says, I was like, it was like, 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:25.200 I can't leave because my kids and I'm not happy, 0:16:25.440 --> 0:16:28.080 But what do I do? Affleck later said what I 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:30.360 what I did was drink a bottle of Scotch fall 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:32.920 asleep on the couch, which turned out to be a 0:16:32.960 --> 0:16:37.520 bad solution to the problem. He says, they, uh, don't 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:40.960 blame it on her, is what he's saying. So basically 0:16:40.960 --> 0:16:42.680 what I'm sorry, I'm just trying to paraphrase. I'm trying 0:16:42.720 --> 0:16:44.280 to read ahead, and that's why I couldn't really get 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:45.960 it all out. So basically what he's saying is he 0:16:46.000 --> 0:16:49.040 felt trapped in his marriage with Jennifer Garner because they 0:16:49.040 --> 0:16:50.720 had three kids and he felt like he had a 0:16:50.720 --> 0:16:54.440 resort to alcohol, and so Jared, as a big Ben 0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:57.160 Affleck fan, this doesn't sound bad. It sounds like it's 0:16:57.160 --> 0:16:59.720 probably a lot more common than we are are willing 0:16:59.720 --> 0:17:02.720 to admit. Right, what do you think. I don't get 0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:07.560 why this is such a revelation or why he's getting 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:10.919 so much criticism because I feel like he is getting 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:15.040 kind of whacked across the face right now. People are 0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:17.760 mad at Ben Affleck to the point he was on 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:21.240 Jimmy Kimmel the other day and he addressed it because 0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:24.120 he felt like he was getting so much criticism. And 0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:28.120 I don't get why. Listen, Jennifer Gardner seems like a sweetheart. 0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:30.840 I was really hoping that those two would work things out, 0:17:31.240 --> 0:17:36.640 because again, I like Ben Affleck a lot, but he's 0:17:36.680 --> 0:17:40.080 with j Low, so I'm happy for him. But dude, 0:17:40.760 --> 0:17:44.240 it's like he wasn't It didn't seem to me like 0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:46.359 he was blaming Jennifer Gardner. It just seemed like he 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:48.760 was saying, I was unhappy, I was depressed, so I 0:17:48.800 --> 0:17:51.480 started drinking. I don't know. And no point does it 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:54.919 seem like he's blaming Jennifer Gardner for him being an alcoholic. 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:59.320 He seems like he's blaming himself. Um. I think I 0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:03.320 think the big the big headlines, so to speak, is 0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:06.000 it's not that he was blaming Jennifer Garner, but more 0:18:06.040 --> 0:18:08.280 so that he felt trapped in his relationship with her. 0:18:08.520 --> 0:18:09.960 And I think the part of that is because of 0:18:10.000 --> 0:18:13.720 the kids that they had. Right well, I mean have 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:15.639 you ever felt like you were trapped in a relationship, 0:18:16.400 --> 0:18:21.040 Like yeah, absolutely, Yeah. It's a pretty shutty feeling, isn't it, 0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:23.679 Where you feel like you can't leave, and then you 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:26.800 add kids to the situation, it makes it way worse. Now, listen, 0:18:26.800 --> 0:18:29.480 if you want to give him flak for like publicly 0:18:29.680 --> 0:18:32.159 discussing this, then sure. But at the same time, we 0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:36.240 always praise celebrities who opened up their lives to us 0:18:36.280 --> 0:18:38.920 and become vulnerable and talk about real things. This is 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:45.200 a real thing. And listen, Jennifer Garner, like she seems awesome, 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:49.760 and I just don't. I think Ben Affleck can be 0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:55.119 open and honest without and without blaming Jennifer Garners. That 0:18:55.119 --> 0:18:57.560 make sense, Like the two are not mutually exclusive. He 0:18:57.560 --> 0:18:59.320 could say he was unhappy and felt like he was 0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:02.399 trapped and he started drinking because of that, and he 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:04.560 can also not be billaming with Jennifer Gardner, which I 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:08.119 think he's doing simultaneously. Right. I agree with what you're saying. 0:19:08.280 --> 0:19:09.920 It's not even it's not even a matter of who 0:19:09.920 --> 0:19:11.760 it was that he was married too. It was just 0:19:11.800 --> 0:19:14.199 the fact of the position that he was in, and 0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:16.280 that's why he was like drinking more and all that stuff. 0:19:16.280 --> 0:19:17.880 It's like he could have been married to j Low, 0:19:17.920 --> 0:19:19.480 for instance, at that time too, and I feel like 0:19:19.520 --> 0:19:22.480 this feeling still would have festered and bubbled up to 0:19:22.520 --> 0:19:24.120 the surface. I mean, I don't want to get into 0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:25.480 the thick of it, but that's just that's just my 0:19:25.560 --> 0:19:27.600 interpretation of it. It's not who. It's just a matter 0:19:27.640 --> 0:19:30.159 of him at the end of the day, like you 0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:32.040 know what I mean. So my question for you is, 0:19:32.080 --> 0:19:34.199 how does he How is he absorbing all of this 0:19:34.240 --> 0:19:38.320 backlash because he doesn't have social media. I thought I 0:19:38.400 --> 0:19:40.359 think he might be on Instagram, But it's just like 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:43.320 news publications. He's obviously aware of what people are saying 0:19:43.320 --> 0:19:46.160 about him. That's all it is. He's not ignoring the noise. 0:19:46.680 --> 0:19:48.800 I'll be honest. I didn't know that he had kids. 0:19:49.880 --> 0:19:52.800 Oh yeah, he has two three kids with Jennifer Gardner. 0:19:52.880 --> 0:19:54.560 I think I thought he was dating on a day 0:19:54.600 --> 0:19:59.480 Armiss who on a day Armist. She was from like 0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:02.600 ward off Bugs and she she's like the new James Bond. 0:20:02.640 --> 0:20:06.520 I think, Oh no, he might have, like you know, 0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:08.320 might have been a fling Eastern's coming in. He knows 0:20:08.359 --> 0:20:11.080