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Speaker 1: Dearest John, It's been a fortnight since I felt your

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Speaker 1: warm embrace. Dear Sam, such it has since we started

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Speaker 1: the Okay Story Tom podcast. Yes, and I have a

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Speaker 1: message for you, a delicious story that I think you'll love.

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Speaker 2: Sincerely, Sam.

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Speaker 1: But before that, thine, divine two minute outbreak must happen,

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Speaker 1: I bid thee farewell.

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Speaker 3: See you in two minutes.

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Speaker 1: All right, Sam, It's dumping week here, which means we

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Speaker 1: are taking out the trash emotionally speaking, that is.

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Speaker 3: That's true, John.

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Speaker 1: We have stories that will make you say farewell to

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Speaker 1: all those toxic relationships in your life and hello to

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Speaker 1: some red flag free living.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and if you knew here looking for the

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Speaker 4: first story in our series, my.

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Speaker 2: Husband cheated but he has cancer.

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Speaker 4: Should I stay?

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Speaker 1: Just click the link in the show notes, slash description

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Speaker 1: or search Dumping Week, Okay Storytime wherever you get your podcasts.

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Speaker 4: All right, let's get into today's first story.

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Speaker 3: I caught my husband cheating in the background of an

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Speaker 3: Instagram post. He told me he was on a business trip.

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Speaker 2: I was on a business trip.

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Speaker 3: In the background the step post, I was I was

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Speaker 3: an extra. I don't know what to do. We just

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Speaker 3: had a baby. Six weeks ago. Oh no, and when

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Speaker 3: he told me about his business trip, I got a

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Speaker 3: little upset because I'm all alone here and this is

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Speaker 3: our first child, so I don't know what the heck

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Speaker 3: we're doing. Most of the time, I couldn't just refuse

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Speaker 3: to let him go, however, because I knew when I

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Speaker 3: met him that traveling is part of his job. So

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Speaker 3: he left. He's very supportive otherwise, very happy about being

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Speaker 3: a father, and he called us maybe five to six

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Speaker 3: times a day to see if we're doing all right.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from a postcard on the

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Speaker 3: air Slashoki store tim Separate It. So last night I

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Speaker 3: was scrolling down Instagram and there he was, in the

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Speaker 3: background of a local celebrity I followed, sitting in a

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Speaker 3: restaurant with his friend from UNI, the woman who always

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Speaker 3: disliked me and who he told me not to worry about.

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Speaker 5: It's always the ones they tell you not to worry about.

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Speaker 3: He's been on this trip since Monday and is supposed

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Speaker 3: to come back on Monday. I'm so heartbroken. I don't

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Speaker 3: know what to do. I will obviously talk to him

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Speaker 3: when he gets home, but what are my options afterwards.

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Speaker 3: I'm a stay at home wife right now, and I

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Speaker 3: haven't worked since I graduated five years ago. My husband

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Speaker 3: makes a good living and he didn't think me working

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Speaker 3: was a necessity. I don't have family except him. If

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Speaker 3: I leave him, How am I going to fend for

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Speaker 3: my son? Who is going to take care of him?

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Speaker 3: If I start working? I feel so trapped and edit,

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Speaker 3: I'm so overwhelmed with the amount of messages and support.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to make it clear that I'm not going

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Speaker 3: to jump into any conclusions yet. I just had my

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Speaker 3: suspicions about the friend, and I was always wary of her.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to give my husband the benefit of the doubt,

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Speaker 3: of course, but unfortunately my gut is telling me this

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Speaker 3: is what I'm driving the most, and there is an update.

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Speaker 3: I think it's smart not to jump to conclusions. Yes,

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Speaker 3: there's always there could always be an answer that you

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Speaker 3: know you weren't expecting. Maybe she is his boss. Now,

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Speaker 3: who's to say. I think you have to like look

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Speaker 3: into the before you kind of bring all of this up.

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Speaker 3: Maybe while he's away, still looking into what are your

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Speaker 3: legal options if you divorce? What are you you know,

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Speaker 3: going to be able to get out of the divorce.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, but I think he does need to be pressed

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Speaker 5: a little bit, like you do need like not jump

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Speaker 5: to a conclusion and be like you're cheating on me

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Speaker 5: with this woman, yeah, but being like floated out there

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Speaker 5: being like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so who were you meeting with in New York?

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Speaker 4: Like and then if he if he lies about it,

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Speaker 4: huge red flag.

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Speaker 3: Oh, he says two days later, Hello again, I'm so

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Speaker 3: happy I found you guys here. My husband is home now.

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Speaker 3: It was what I feared. I don't know if I

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Speaker 3: made a terrible job of explaining the situation in my

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Speaker 3: last post, but the influencer lives in our city, and

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Speaker 3: she was in a restaurant in our city. My husband

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Speaker 3: was supposed to be out of town all business, so

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Speaker 3: he wasn't even out of town. I took the advice

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Speaker 3: you gave me about influencers not usually posting same day pictures,

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Speaker 3: but it still struck me as an oddity because he

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Speaker 3: has never mentioned having dinner with his friend. I tried

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Speaker 3: to contact the influencer, but she is over one point

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Speaker 3: five million followers.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's not happening.

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Speaker 2: He's like, hello, Jambalayah Jones.

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Speaker 3: Sure, I'd like to request a time date stamp for

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Speaker 3: this picture. Hey, miss Jumbalaya, where were you? Yes, your work,

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Speaker 3: here's a picture on the same day. As I said,

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Speaker 3: my husband's work includes a lot of traveling, and he

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Speaker 3: usually does a video tour in his hotel room for

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Speaker 3: me or sends me some pictures. This time he didn't

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Speaker 3: do so. Yesterday when he called, I asked him to

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Speaker 3: FaceTime me to see our son. He told me to

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Speaker 3: wait because the room was messy, and he called after

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Speaker 3: five minutes. We talked and he saw our son, and

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Speaker 3: then I asked him for a mini tour. He showed

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Speaker 3: me some parts and I took some screenshots. My husband

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Speaker 3: laughed about me taking screenshots and was a bit confused.

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Speaker 3: It isn't that unusual for me to do anyway, so

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Speaker 3: we didn't make a fuss. I went later to hotels

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Speaker 3: dot com and started comparing pictures. I found the hotel

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Speaker 3: within fifteen minutes. It's less than ten minutes from our place.

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Speaker 3: It was a bit late, but I took my son

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Speaker 3: and went anyway. The front desk didn't want to tell

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Speaker 3: me what room he was in. I asked her to

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Speaker 3: tell him to come down, but she refused to do

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Speaker 3: that since it was midnight. I texted him to down

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Speaker 3: to the reception. When he came down, it was like

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Speaker 3: he had seen a ghost. I told him to take

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Speaker 3: me to his hotel room now. He refused and asked

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Speaker 3: me to go home and that he would explain everything later.

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Speaker 3: I told him, if he didn't take me to his

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Speaker 3: room now and without warning his friend, I will scream.

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Speaker 3: I don't know why I wanted to see her. It's like,

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Speaker 3: even after finding out he's been in town all this time,

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Speaker 3: and even after seeing the look on his face, I

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Speaker 3: still wanted to catch them to drive the message home

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Speaker 3: so my heart doesn't cave to his excuses and explanations

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Speaker 3: that he was already starting on. He refused, however, to

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Speaker 3: take me up, so I just left with my baby.

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Speaker 3: He came home maybe an hour after me, and he

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Speaker 3: wanted to talk and explain when I'm ready. I'm not

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Speaker 3: ready yet. I asked him to move out and leave

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Speaker 3: me be for the time being. He agreed. I don't

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Speaker 3: know why he did this, why he married me. I'm

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Speaker 3: twenty nine and he's thirty nine. His mistress is also

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Speaker 3: thirty nine. She's a single mom, and they're more compatible

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Speaker 3: and they get along very well, and they obviously love

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Speaker 3: each other, so why didn't you just be with her

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Speaker 3: instead and save us all the heartbreak? Honestly, what's wrong

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Speaker 3: with these people? But there is another part of this update.

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Speaker 3: I need op to be able to leave, get all

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Speaker 3: the money in the divorce, get the house, and then

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Speaker 3: her husband's affair partner just like leaves him too. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 3: I don't want to make any more updates. My husband

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Speaker 3: has agreed to move out of our apartment. Since we

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Speaker 3: have a prenup, I'm essentially not entitled to anything. No, no,

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Speaker 3: but he has offered the apartment since I have nowhere

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Speaker 3: to go. I told him I needed more assurance that

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Speaker 3: the apartment is for me and my son. He's going

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Speaker 3: to transfer the deeds in my name, whatever that means.

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Speaker 3: I'm also going to get alimony or allowance or whatever

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Speaker 3: it's called until my son is old enough to start

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Speaker 3: looking for jobs. All of this conversation was recorded good

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Speaker 3: On Monday, I'm going to talk to a lawyer to

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Speaker 3: make sure what my husband promised me is going to happen.

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Speaker 3: In return, he asked me for separation and not divorce

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Speaker 3: for two years. I agreed about the other woman. I

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Speaker 3: don't know if it's worth my energy to find out more.

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Speaker 3: They have been friends with benefits when they were single,

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Speaker 3: but never had a relationship. They've known each other for

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Speaker 3: twenty years.

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Speaker 5: Gross, So he just had this friends with benefits thing,

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Speaker 5: got married, had a kid, and was like, I'm just like, oh,

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Speaker 5: but I'm so used to the friends with benefit Oh

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Speaker 5: I supposed to stad I can't and then I'm a man,

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Speaker 5: I have needs.

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Speaker 3: I didn't want to hear anything about them. I always

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Speaker 3: had my suspicions. He made the usual excuses about her

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Speaker 3: meaning nothing. It was a mistake, and this was their

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Speaker 3: first time because he felt neglected because I wasn't as

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Speaker 3: interested in him as before the baby. He swore he

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Speaker 3: never slept with her during our marriage until this week.

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Speaker 3: I don't believe him. If they end up together, I wouldn't.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't be surprised, even though he assured me it

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Speaker 3: will never happen because he doesn't love her. But there

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Speaker 3: is more. One more update to this this tale, this saga.

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Speaker 3: I was attacked for being a stay at home wife,

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Speaker 3: for being young, for being a gold digger, for having

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Speaker 3: an older husband, for having a rich husband, for having

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Speaker 3: a baby with my husband, for exposing my husband's infidelity,

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Speaker 3: for not having a safety net, for trusting my husband,

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Speaker 3: for not trusting my husband enough, for demanding that the

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Speaker 3: man I love leave our home after he cheated on me,

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Speaker 3: and it goes on Damn Reddit stop.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean that sounds like the Internet for you.

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Speaker 3: We're just like, by the way, everything you've ever done

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Speaker 3: is wrong, literally, and if you did it differently, it

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Speaker 3: would still be wrong. Yep. I should have just ignored

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Speaker 3: everything and concentrated on healing, and I'm going to do that.

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Speaker 3: But I have a small final update to share with

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Speaker 3: the thousands that cared and supported. I don't have a

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Speaker 3: family because I'm an only child. My parents died when

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Speaker 3: I was five. My grandmother raised me. She died when

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Speaker 3: I was twenty ooh. Many have requested an update about

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Speaker 3: his friend. I texted her that she's an ugly, pathetic,

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Speaker 3: cheap hoe who's always hated me and always was jealous

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Speaker 3: of me. That even if she ends my marriage and

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Speaker 3: ruined my happiness and the chance for my baby to

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Speaker 3: grow up with both of his parents and the future

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Speaker 3: siblings we planned, she will never have my husband because

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Speaker 3: she's an ugly, pathetic, cheap hoe. Oh he's really putting that,

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Speaker 3: really emphasizing that.

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Speaker 4: I know that's right.

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Speaker 3: It has never happened and it will never happen. But

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Speaker 3: if her goal in life was to sneak around in

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Speaker 3: hotels with married men, then congratulations. I told her I

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Speaker 3: wished what she got from him was worth ruining my life,

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Speaker 3: but that I'm happy that I at least don't need

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Speaker 3: to have her in my life. I didn't feel any

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Speaker 3: better to be honest, and regret stooping so low. She

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Speaker 3: texted me back a picture of her and my husband

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Speaker 3: at the hotel with the winking emoji.

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Speaker 5: Just confirming that she's a complete piece of trash.

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Speaker 3: I forwarded it to my husband. This was yesterday. He

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Speaker 3: showed up around dinner and told me everything he slept

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Speaker 3: with her during our relationship. He told me he was

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Speaker 3: sorry and that he was relieved now that I knew everything,

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Speaker 3: because she can't hold it against him anymore. Oh, she

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Speaker 3: was blackmailing him. I kicked him out. I regret knowing

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Speaker 3: all this. We had our first meeting with the lawyers today.

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Speaker 3: The prenup covers my husband's assets up until we got married.

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Speaker 3: He comes from a wealthy family. I'm not to touch

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Speaker 3: any of that. My husband is self made, however, I'm

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Speaker 3: entitled to fifty percent of everything he made since we

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Speaker 3: got married. My husband also offered our apartment as an apology,

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Speaker 3: even if the apartment was from his family, and he's

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Speaker 3: going to pay child support. It's really all I need

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Speaker 3: right now, and much more than I expected. Divorce takes

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Speaker 3: a couple of years or even more sometimes, especially when

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Speaker 3: children are involved. But we would love for you guys

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Speaker 3: to be involved in joining us live every weekday through PMPST.

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Speaker 3: Just tap her profile. That's right, it just happened, But

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Speaker 3: there is just a teensy bit more to the story.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I think cut both of these people completely absolutely.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know how you can't fully cut

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Speaker 3: the husband out because co parenting, but to the extent

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Speaker 3: that you can definitely definitely go very low contact with him.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think my husband lives with the hopes that I'll

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Speaker 3: forgive him down the road. I know he's always been generous,

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Speaker 3: but he must have some kind of hope to make

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Speaker 3: this offer, because it can't be just remorse. He apologized

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Speaker 3: for hurting me, and I can't even describe how lonely

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Speaker 3: and devastated I am right now. He and my son

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Speaker 3: are my only family, and I've lost him and all

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Speaker 3: for what. I can't believe. I still love him so

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Speaker 3: very much, and since he moved out, I haven't stopped crying.

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Speaker 3: I miss him. How could he do this to us

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Speaker 3: for an ugly, pathetic, cheap ahow we and that is

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Speaker 3: the end of this story. We just announced my pregnancy,

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Speaker 3: but our timing was terrible. I've been friends with this person,

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Speaker 3: let's call her Mel, for close to ten years. We've

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Speaker 3: been on holidays together, stayed at each other's houses. I

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Speaker 3: was her only bridesmaid at her wedding. By the way,

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Speaker 3: this comes from Ryan thirty one oh five on the

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Speaker 3: Okay Storytime suffered it so I asked Mel to be

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Speaker 3: one of my bridesmaids at my wedding, to which she agreed.

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Speaker 3: Mel has been trying to get pregnant for a while,

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Speaker 3: and after being unsuccessful time after time, she eventually fell pregnant.

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Speaker 3: Almost as soon as she fell pregnant, she pulled out

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Speaker 3: of being a bridesmaid as she was concerned her dress

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Speaker 3: wouldn't fit. Even though there were still multiple alteration appointments

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Speaker 3: booked before the wedding. We respected her decision.

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Speaker 4: Like, was she insecure about having a bump?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, seemingly she was, can see you. A few weeks

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Speaker 3: into Mel's pregnancy, she unfortunately lost the baby. Oh that's

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Speaker 3: so sad. I supported her the best I could while

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Speaker 3: she and her husband took some time off work to

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Speaker 3: deal with what had happened. A few weeks before my wedding,

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Speaker 3: I fell pregnant and my now husband and I decided

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Speaker 3: we wanted to announce our pregnancy at our wedding. I

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Speaker 3: knew I needed to tell Mel before the wedding so

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Speaker 3: as not to land this news on her unexpectedly after

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Speaker 3: what she had been through.

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Speaker 4: That's considerate.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, this was in the run up to the wedding,

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Speaker 3: and I simply didn't have the time to meet with

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Speaker 3: her face to face. Regretfully, I told her over text.

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Speaker 4: You're going to be considering, you.

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Speaker 3: Might as well wait until you can tell them in person.

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Speaker 4: And you don't have five minutes to call and be

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Speaker 4: like here any tell you that?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I think if you truly want to be considerate, that's

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Speaker 3: we just need a Yeah.

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Speaker 4: You kind of went like halfway of considerate there.

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Speaker 3: Regretfully, I told her overtext it wasn't just a one

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Speaker 3: liner I'm pregnant. I put a lot of thought into

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Speaker 3: this and apologize multiple times for reminding her of what

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Speaker 3: she had been through. Let's kind of even worse. It's like, Hey,

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Speaker 3: I just want to let you know I'm pregnant.

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Speaker 4: I know that you just went through this thing and

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Speaker 4: if you could remember, you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I just remember that. I like, I'm sorry to

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Speaker 3: bring it up, and I know that, like my pregnancy

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Speaker 3: is going to make you think about it.

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Speaker 4: It's like, okay, well that's not rubbing it in, but

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Speaker 4: in some way it's like yeah.

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Speaker 3: The yeah, especially if you're not talking in person. I

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Speaker 3: put a lot of thought into this and apologize multiple times,

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Speaker 3: reminding her of what she had been through. I felt

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Speaker 3: guilty and like a bad friend. She seemed to have

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Speaker 3: taken it well all things considered. Her reply was don't

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Speaker 3: be silly. That's amazing news. She also said, life goes on.

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Speaker 3: Can't do anything about it. We didn't speak for a

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Speaker 3: couple of days after that, which is unusual as we

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Speaker 3: usually talk every day. She didn't message me and I

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Speaker 3: didn't message her. The next text I got from her

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Speaker 3: said that she and her husband would still attend the wedding,

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Speaker 3: but would be outside for our pregnancy announcement. Again, we

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Speaker 3: respected their decision. Another couple of days passed without either

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Speaker 3: of us messaging each other, so I messaged her. I

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Speaker 3: asked her how she was doing and got a pretty

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Speaker 3: blunt reply, I'm fine.

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Speaker 4: Usually if someone says that they're not.

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Speaker 6: Lad never so fine.

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Speaker 3: I'm really fine right now, frecky fue ken.

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Speaker 6: See you told me you're fine. You're fine.

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Speaker 4: Okay, now we can move on, jeez.

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Speaker 3: On the day of my wedding, she didn't speak a

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Speaker 3: word to my husband, and neither did her parents, who

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Speaker 3: we are both pretty friendly with.

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Speaker 4: Mel didn't talk to Opie's husband or Mel's parents.

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Speaker 3: She looked at me and smiled when I first saw her.

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Speaker 3: We announced the pregnancy during the speeches while they were outside.

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Speaker 3: A sign was put up at the front door to

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Speaker 3: inform our evening guests arriving later of our exciting news.

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Speaker 3: We had our meal, and at some point after that

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Speaker 3: Mel and her husband left with Mel's parents. We didn't

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Speaker 3: know this until later that evening. My plan was to

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Speaker 3: speak to her once I had spoken to my elderly nana,

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Speaker 3: who wasn't staying long at the wedding, Mel left before

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Speaker 3: I could speak to her. A couple of days past,

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Speaker 3: we we opened all our wedding gifts, including the gift

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Speaker 3: from Mel and her husband. I sent melateext thanking them

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Speaker 3: for their gift. Her reply was something like this, You're

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Speaker 3: welcome for the present. We left early because of after

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Speaker 3: your pregnancy announcement. Everyone was speaking about it everywhere, and

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Speaker 3: when I noticed the sign on the door with the

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Speaker 3: due date, it broke my heart. I didn't say goodbye

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Speaker 3: because I didn't want you to see me upset and

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Speaker 3: ruin your day. She went on to say, the world

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Speaker 3: doesn't stop for me and my husband, and we wouldn't

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Speaker 3: expect that as life goes on for everyone else. However,

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Speaker 3: if you had lost a baby, we would never have

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Speaker 3: made that announcement. If we were in your shoes, I

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Speaker 3: thought we were close friends. At the end of the day,

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Speaker 3: it was your day and not about anyone else. It's

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Speaker 3: kind of a confusing end, because I mean, it is

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Speaker 3: OPI's day. Yeah, I think it's kind of It's just

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Speaker 3: like a lot of emotions are going into this. Nicki

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Speaker 3: Bordo says, ohp you had the right to announce it.

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Speaker 3: She spoke to Mell first about the announcement. They agreed

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Speaker 3: to do it when they were outside.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Bug says, they can announce whatever they want, but

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Speaker 4: you can't get mad at your friend for leaving because

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Speaker 4: everyone was talking about it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I don't think that's what Opie is saying. I think

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Speaker 4: she's quite understanding of that, I think, and we didn't

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Speaker 4: get her full response, like emotional reaction, but I think

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Speaker 4: it was just like, oh, why is she upset at me?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: What?

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Speaker 3: Oh p he's saying that you're thinking that. Yeah, but

364
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,800
Speaker 3: there's a little bit more to say. We were shocked

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00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,480
Speaker 3: by this text for mel would be an understatement. I

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00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,320
Speaker 3: responded by apologizing for making her feel that way and

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Speaker 3: that I valued our friendship. I'm starting to get the

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Speaker 3: picture that she has fallen out with me, so we

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Speaker 3: don't speak her for a few days. I eventually get

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Speaker 3: a message from her, talking as if nothing had happened.

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Speaker 3: She was speaking about going back to work soon and

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Speaker 3: having had a rough few days. I gave blunt answers

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Speaker 3: back to her because she annoyed me. A few days later,

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Speaker 3: I received a message from her saying, I have not

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Speaker 3: heard from you in a few days. Do you think

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Speaker 3: we can't have a friendship anymore. You know where I

377
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,280
Speaker 3: am if you ever need a friend who My honest

378
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,600
Speaker 3: reply to her was something like this, I feel very

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Speaker 3: awkward between us because I upset you, but you have

380
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Speaker 3: upset me. The special feeling of my wedding day was

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Speaker 3: taken away by the way you acted. I know that

382
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:04,080
Speaker 3: sounds bad, but I'm being honest. I do value our friendship,

383
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Speaker 3: but I don't know what to say or do. I

384
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Speaker 3: just feel awful and awkward about it all.

385
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,200
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, let's pause on that. Yeah, there's so much

386
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:15,320
Speaker 4: blame in that in that sentence to say my specialness

387
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Speaker 4: of my wedding was taken away because of you.

388
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Speaker 3: Like a stop saying like it's your fault you did this,

389
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,040
Speaker 3: you know this, Just say like, hey, I was hurt

390
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,680
Speaker 3: by this. Yeah, but I know you're going through a lot.

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Speaker 3: I would love to just talk about it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, there seems if he's just like a ping

393
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Speaker 4: pong blame thing going on right now.

394
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Speaker 3: A reply to that was I'm upset and feel awkward too.

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Speaker 3: I was worried that you didn't want to speak to

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Speaker 3: me because you're pregnant and I'm not anymore. And I

397
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Speaker 3: don't want you to feel like that. Oh I'm really

398
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Speaker 3: happy for you, but if I'm being honest, my husband

399
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Speaker 3: and I had such an amazing day at our wedding.

400
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Speaker 3: We had the same wedding that you as melt, but

401
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,439
Speaker 3: now I associate the place with a huge emotional trigger

402
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,119
Speaker 3: for me. We've been friends for so long and I

403
00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:57,119
Speaker 3: would hate for us to lose our friendship. Before I

404
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:59,960
Speaker 3: could reply to her, I got this message. I'm upo

405
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Speaker 3: set that you feel I took the spark away from

406
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Speaker 3: your announcement, but I can only say, put yourself in

407
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Speaker 3: my shoes.

408
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:06,920
Speaker 4: That seems fair.

409
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:10,879
Speaker 3: I think that's fair. You're just like, just yeah, you

410
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,720
Speaker 3: both need to sit and think about this.

411
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Speaker 4: And also I really respect that Opie's friend is coming

412
00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:20,119
Speaker 4: at it with like being vulnerable and his parent of liing.

413
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Speaker 3: This is how I felt.

414
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Speaker 4: This friendship means a lot to me, and I want

415
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Speaker 4: to be friends with you.

416
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Speaker 3: Yeah. Since then, I've been blocked on all social media

417
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Speaker 3: by her.

418
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Speaker 4: Oh wait, what was the last thing she said?

419
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Speaker 3: I'm upset that you feel I took the spark away

420
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,399
Speaker 3: from your announcement, but I can only say put yourself

421
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Speaker 3: in my shoes.

422
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:37,439
Speaker 4: So it seemed like after the fact that escalator and

423
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,560
Speaker 4: she was like, actually, know what you know, F I.

424
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:43,520
Speaker 3: Actually don't want this friendship. Yeah, everyone's sexier a little bit.

425
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,479
Speaker 3: Since then, I've been blocked on all social media by

426
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:49,720
Speaker 3: her and I've had no contact since. Can I have

427
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,439
Speaker 3: an unbiased opinion on this, please, or either of us

428
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,040
Speaker 3: in the wrong? My opinion on this is she totally

429
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:58,520
Speaker 3: blew this out of proportion, and it wouldn't be blowing

430
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:00,919
Speaker 3: it out of proportion for you to join us every

431
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,840
Speaker 3: weekday at three PMPST on YouTube. Just tap a profile

432
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,119
Speaker 3: and there is some additional information. But do you have

433
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:07,720
Speaker 3: any other thought?

434
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Speaker 4: Just again, I don't think anyone was vindictive. People got

435
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:15,560
Speaker 4: hurt and it was what it was. And at the

436
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,879
Speaker 4: end of the day, like it seems like both of

437
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,800
Speaker 4: you care about each other and have been friends for

438
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:25,040
Speaker 4: ten years. Yeah, it's such a long relationship, and I

439
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,760
Speaker 4: think just the communication is just kind of blame blame,

440
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,919
Speaker 4: blame blame. Yeah, And I think it's so like this

441
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,800
Speaker 4: doesn't need to ruin your relationship. It doesn't have to

442
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:34,960
Speaker 4: unless you make.

443
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:39,879
Speaker 3: It like it truly could have been. Hey, this was

444
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,240
Speaker 3: you know, I just want to let you know I'm

445
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,960
Speaker 3: sorry for leaving. Felt a little bit caught off guard

446
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,800
Speaker 3: by this announcement. I wish you would have you know,

447
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,720
Speaker 3: in the future, can you please just let me know

448
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,399
Speaker 3: if you're gonna do something like that. Yeah, and then like,

449
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,359
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry, Like I didn't realize that that would

450
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:58,000
Speaker 3: have could have just been that conversation and that did

451
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:58,480
Speaker 3: not happen.

452
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, but again, it wasn't only Mel, it was.

453
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:03,680
Speaker 3: It knew it was both. I think it was both parties. Yeah,

454
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,760
Speaker 3: I absolutely think it was both parties. And also I

455
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:09,480
Speaker 3: think that when you communicate over text, Yeah, so much

456
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,040
Speaker 3: is lost, so many cues, so many cues are lost.

457
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:12,440
Speaker 4: Yeah.

458
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 3: Additional info, Mel and her husband were trying to be

459
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,720
Speaker 3: pregnant for at least one year. Mel was roughly ten

460
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,920
Speaker 3: weeks pregnant when they lost the baby. I must have

461
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,199
Speaker 3: been eight weeks pregnant. This is her only miscarriage. She

462
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 3: miscarried two weeks before the wedding. Oh, it was about

463
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 3: one week until the wedding when I told her I

464
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,879
Speaker 3: was pregnant. At the time she miscarried, I was roughly

465
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,959
Speaker 3: five to six weeks pregnant. When I found out I

466
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:38,359
Speaker 3: was pregnant. I was roughly five weeks. Okay, I didn't.

467
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 4: Realize it was just two weeks before the wedding.

468
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:46,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, two weeks before her wedding. Oh, no, before that wedding. Sorry, wow, yeah,

469
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 3: before Op's wedding. So this is super super recent two weeks.

470
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:56,080
Speaker 4: Honestly, for the facts of the situation, I think she

471
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 4: could have blown up way more.

472
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,600
Speaker 3: I agree. I think I think mel was going through

473
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,120
Speaker 3: a really hard time.

474
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:05,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, and was so much leeway.

475
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:07,200
Speaker 3: That much grace in the situation.

476
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:07,960
Speaker 4: I agree.

477
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,760
Speaker 3: Elie says male was grieving. Oh he was hormodal. It's

478
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:16,280
Speaker 3: a mess. Yeah, yeah, that's that's the two weeks. That's

479
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:17,119
Speaker 3: so hard.

480
00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:24,159
Speaker 4: My husband's friend is pressuring his fiance to have a baby,

481
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 4: so I told him off for being selfish.

482
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 3: Stop pressuring.

483
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:30,680
Speaker 4: Pressure is usually bad in situations.

484
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, stop it unless you're an instapot.

485
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:40,600
Speaker 4: Oh pressure great. My thirty year old female husband thirty

486
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:44,240
Speaker 4: six year old male as a high school friend. Thirty

487
00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 4: six year old male let's call him John. John is

488
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 4: a typical jock, athletic, good looking, popular with the ladies.

489
00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:55,600
Speaker 4: But I've been around enough to see and hear him

490
00:21:55,600 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 4: being questionable towards woman. Dam By the way, this comes

491
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:05,399
Speaker 4: from salt Dry sixteen eighty on the r okay storytime subreddit.

492
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 4: So to the story, we were in a group of

493
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,960
Speaker 4: friends and I was introducing them to my new baby,

494
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,880
Speaker 4: zero year old female. I've never seen it put like that.

495
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:19,439
Speaker 4: That important info. I had a miserable pregnancy. The topic

496
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 4: of kids of having kids came up, and John started

497
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,920
Speaker 4: saying how him and his fiance, thirty two year old

498
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,879
Speaker 4: female would be the next So John is the friend

499
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 4: of Op's husband. More important information. John's fiance, Janet is

500
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:40,360
Speaker 4: an amazing lady, kind, smart, gentle. Recently, she has been

501
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,239
Speaker 4: through a lot, lost her dad and her health has

502
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 4: been terrible. Not going to say what, but she has

503
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:51,119
Speaker 4: a disease that causes headaches, weakness, dizzy spells, fainting, emotion,

504
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 4: extreme fatigue. She has become more and more emotionally and

505
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 4: physically dependent on him.

506
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,879
Speaker 3: Ah, doesn't sound like a great time to have a

507
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:04,160
Speaker 3: baby if you're trying to deal with other like physical

508
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 3: problems yeah.

509
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,399
Speaker 4: And she lost her dad yeah and emotional problems yeah. Yeah.

510
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 4: So on top of that, she and I come from

511
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 4: another country, means her family and support system are not here.

512
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 4: Back to the situation, I asked her if the plan

513
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 4: to have kids after the wedding, that is in two years.

514
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 4: I thought that because it gives her time to recover.

515
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 4: He doesn't let her answer and say the agreed they

516
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 4: would only get married after having kids. Hmmmm, I've never

517
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 4: I've never heard that.

518
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:37,640
Speaker 3: I've never. Yeah, that's usually it's usually the opposite plan.

519
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 4: What's the reasoning for that?

520
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:40,160
Speaker 3: Interesting?

521
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,919
Speaker 4: I am surprised for two reasons. She always said she

522
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:48,280
Speaker 4: wanted kids after marriage, and her health is not good.

523
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 4: She doesn't say anything but looks sad, like what's so

524
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 4: awkward in the Like in the group, you're like, when

525
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 4: are you having kids? And she's like, I argue that

526
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,119
Speaker 4: it doesn't seem like a good plan. Why are you

527
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 4: arguing with someone's like intimate life decisions in front of

528
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 4: a group.

529
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:07,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. If I I

530
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:09,920
Speaker 3: think I would just keep my mouth shut and be like, okay.

531
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's like a if you have something to say,

532
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:13,879
Speaker 4: that's like a private thing. So I argue that it

533
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 4: doesn't seem like a good plan and that a pregnancy

534
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 4: now could put her health at risk.

535
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,480
Speaker 3: It's like, I think this is the thing that we

536
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 3: bring up later as you said, it's like it's like,

537
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:23,240
Speaker 3: let's talk about this later.

538
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:28,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, for those he said her fertility window is almost closing,

539
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:31,199
Speaker 4: and that is now or never. How old she is

540
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 4: none of Op's thirty business thirty six, I think thirty six.

541
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's also not entirely true. Just got like, oh,

542
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 3: you know, I think it's like around when they turn forty.

543
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's like a spectrum of yeah.

544
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,880
Speaker 3: Absolutely, and also like people in their forties, well can

545
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 3: have kids.

546
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 4: It's just more dangerous.

547
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:49,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, different risks and stuff.

548
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, but why are you fighting back with someone about

549
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 4: their decisions in a group. But anyways, I start getting

550
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 4: angry and we discuss. I ended up saying he is

551
00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:01,520
Speaker 4: selfish and this decision is based on his ones and

552
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 4: needs and is hurting her basically a form of abuse.

553
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 4: The room gets quiet and we ended up leaving.

554
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:11,399
Speaker 3: See. Yeah, like I think that OPI is totally valid

555
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:14,879
Speaker 3: in her concerns of pushing back. But this is not

556
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,240
Speaker 3: something that you do in front of a group.

557
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:17,400
Speaker 4: This is not your plate.

558
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,359
Speaker 3: So this is like totally like I feel like this.

559
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 3: The woman who's you know, the Opie's the husband's friend's

560
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 3: wife is probably her girlfriend is probably like embarrassed. You know,

561
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,439
Speaker 3: she's kind of being talked about.

562
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:33,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, like she's not there, like she's being protected, yeah,

563
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:36,640
Speaker 4: or trying to be protected by someone who she never

564
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:37,920
Speaker 4: consented to be protected.

565
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:39,679
Speaker 3: It's like you have two people talking about you and

566
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,199
Speaker 3: you're like, okay, guys.

567
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I don't want you guys to talk about.

568
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 3: We thought about what I want here.

569
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 4: Yeah.

570
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 6: Josephine is right, she's thirty two. She's four years younger. Yeah,

571
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 6: John is thirty.

572
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 3: Six, gotcha, Oh she's thirty she's what that's ridiculous.

573
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,119
Speaker 4: Yeah, her fertility window was not closed. Its not closing

574
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 4: young thirty two. But regardless, like I'm kind of like

575
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 4: pushing back Anne's ope of like.

576
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 3: I yeah, I think that is not the time to bring.

577
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 4: The inappropriate to me. So my husband later agreed with me,

578
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 4: but said it was not my place to say anything. Agreed. Yeah,

579
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 4: So regardless if it's like right or not, I.

580
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:18,360
Speaker 3: Think it's just the wrong, wrong place to say it.

581
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 4: Our friends are mixed saying someone had to say it,

582
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 4: but that I was too harsh. And also you're calling

583
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 4: someone out for abuse in front.

584
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 3: Of people, many people.

585
00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:29,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, when you don't know the full situation.

586
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,959
Speaker 3: And also if it was an abusive relationship, that is

587
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 3: not the way to help someone get out of it. Yeah,

588
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,679
Speaker 3: like that. The way to do that is to have

589
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,679
Speaker 3: a conversation with them one on one and you know,

590
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 3: help them get to that realization.

591
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:42,119
Speaker 4: Agreed.

592
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, Tyler says it's like they're speaking for her, which, yes,

593
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:46,159
Speaker 3: that's what it feels like.

594
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,679
Speaker 4: Yeah, not her place, not Opie's place at all. I

595
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:50,879
Speaker 4: feel maybe it was not my place and I was

596
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 4: being a busy body, but after being through a hard

597
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:57,639
Speaker 4: pregnancy myself without my family, I know how hard it is.

598
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:01,359
Speaker 4: And my husband is a great supportive guy. Meanwhile, John

599
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,359
Speaker 4: leaves her alone all the time to party and enjoy life.

600
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,399
Speaker 4: He is dooming someone that trusts him blindly into a

601
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:11,760
Speaker 4: horrible situation. Am I the ahole? And there's relevant comments,

602
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:16,200
Speaker 4: But I think what's possibly happening right here is that

603
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:19,679
Speaker 4: op and also the you know the person in question,

604
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,919
Speaker 4: what did it say? Her name? I don't recall, but

605
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 4: the woman is is there. I think Op's relating to

606
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 4: her because they're both from different countries, and so you know,

607
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 4: she's like, oh, that woman shares my plight and I

608
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,680
Speaker 4: want to protect her and give her support because I've

609
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 4: felt what it feels like to be living in a

610
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 4: different country, and so yeah, I'm sure like she's trying

611
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:43,920
Speaker 4: to protect her but again, like.

612
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:47,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's coming from a good place of wanting to help,

613
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,160
Speaker 3: but it's just not an effective way.

614
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,840
Speaker 4: So relevant comments comment her. What you said was truth,

615
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,359
Speaker 4: but you were a little harsh. I think you were

616
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:58,920
Speaker 4: right to say it because the guy obviously doesn't care

617
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:01,359
Speaker 4: how he treats his wife. I still think you should

618
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:05,240
Speaker 4: ask his fiance in private how she feels about her situation.

619
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 4: For sure, Op says, I agree that I came on

620
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 4: too or came out too strong. I feel protective towards her. Yeah,

621
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 4: she is so sweet and nice. I feel she doesn't

622
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 4: deserve the way he treats her. But when I say

623
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 4: something in private, she keeps repeating herself out he loves her. Oh,

624
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:24,399
Speaker 4: keeps repeating he loves her, and she's never met a

625
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 4: man like him. I feel like she thinks that he

626
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 4: is out of her league or something, comments her. Honestly,

627
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 4: I think he knows what he's doing. There's a reason

628
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 4: he won't legally commit to her until after she has children,

629
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 4: and it's not a kind or responsible reason. So I

630
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 4: don't think he's going to care about what you said

631
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 4: or the potential health outcomes for your friend. It may

632
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 4: be satisfying to call him out, but is it going

633
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 4: to change his mind? Op says, I also find this

634
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 4: part extra strange. The first time we met, she literally

635
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 4: said how her dream was to have a wedding and

636
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 4: then kids. She even repeated that recently she came from

637
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 4: She comes from a Catholic upring like me. It doesn't

638
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 4: seem like a thing you chant. You change your mind

639
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 4: this easily on comment her everyone sucks here except his wife.

640
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 4: In this conversation last fight, both you and John are

641
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,360
Speaker 4: treating his wife as a child that can't make decisions

642
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 4: for herself. You're putting yourself in a savior role when

643
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:23,320
Speaker 4: she never consented, asked, or wanted it exactly. And that's

644
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 4: not your place or your right to save someone that's

645
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 4: not asking to be saved. Yeah, I agreed, whatever the

646
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 4: situation is for the most part. You know, there's some cases,

647
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 4: but whatever the situation is, it doesn't really matter. Yeah,

648
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 4: unless there's something like big danger involved, But it doesn't

649
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 4: really matter. The way Op went around it, she didn't,

650
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:45,920
Speaker 4: you know, make improve.

651
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 3: The situation wasn't Yeah, it wasn't an effective way at all.

652
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 4: So he is talking over her. But you are also

653
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 4: making assumptions about their decisions based on her looking sad. Yeah,

654
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 4: OP also doesn't know what's going on in the relationship

655
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,959
Speaker 4: at all. There's a lot of assumptions being made. So

656
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 4: OP says, I have I should have talked to her first,

657
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 4: but we just had a conversation about her health, and

658
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 4: she was telling me how some days she can barely

659
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 4: make it out of bed. His smugness made me so angry,

660
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 4: as if he knows what is best and no one

661
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 4: can question him comment to her. Honestly, I'd be pissed

662
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 4: if someone started talking and arguing about my health issues

663
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,960
Speaker 4: and public I'm a really private person. Does the rest

664
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 4: of the group know about our health issues? You didn't

665
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 4: speak to her but made assumptions she might not confide

666
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:27,600
Speaker 4: in you anymore. He might be an a hole, but

667
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 4: she's an adult and you could have made it worse

668
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 4: for her. I had two awful pregnancies and was alone

669
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,640
Speaker 4: without family around. But my husband is amazing as well.

670
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 4: I get where you're coming from, but seriously, be more

671
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 4: aware next time and show your friends some respect, and

672
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 4: don't talk about people's medical history in front of people.

673
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 4: Everyone sucks here obviously not your friends.

674
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, she's the only one who's like, we're just here.

675
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:53,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, let me exist.

676
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:54,560
Speaker 3: She's going through a part.

677
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,960
Speaker 4: Time Sophia Kalo. Don't save her. She don't want to

678
00:30:57,960 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 4: be saved. Don't save her.

679
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 3: She don't know that by Jacole, you know that song?

680
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 6: She she know she's been listening to Chris's music.

681
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 3: Oh that's a lie.

682
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 6: Getting a little defensive there.

683
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 4: I would never I see your point. The group started

684
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 4: with some people that studied together and expanded with their

685
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 4: significant other. We meet often and our friendly. When she

686
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 4: got sick, we took turns visiting Slash checking up on

687
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:27,719
Speaker 4: her when she was alone for a reason or another.

688
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 4: Everyone seems to try to be her support system, but

689
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 4: seems afraid to say anything to John comments her he

690
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:37,000
Speaker 4: probably does and just doesn't care. John is aware that

691
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 4: his wife isn't in a good place for kids. If

692
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 4: him and Opie's husband are such great friends, why didn't

693
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 4: he say anything? Call out your friend's crappy behavior people.

694
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 4: Opie says, my husband is great, but everyone jokes he

695
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 4: has a man crush on John because John popular, jock, sexy,

696
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 4: popular with the ladies. Hmmm, he was going to sidekick

697
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 4: in school and doesn't listen when I point out some comments.

698
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 4: John makes update. I didn't know there was gonna be update.

699
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 4: Thank you for all the answers. I am blown away

700
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 4: by all the perspectives and was able to see further

701
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 4: into the situation. I reach out to Janet and invited

702
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 4: her for a coffee. We usually talk with more people around,

703
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 4: so this was the first time fully alone. I started

704
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 4: by apologizing good good. I said I should not have

705
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 4: said all these things in front of everyone, and acted

706
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 4: as if she cannot speak for herself. She said she

707
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 4: was initially embarrassed, but after further thought, she started questioning

708
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 4: if it was a really, if really it was a

709
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,320
Speaker 4: good idea to have kids now, and has scheduled to

710
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 4: talk with a specialist.

711
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 3: I guess something good happened out of it.

712
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, something, she said John doesn't know and she wants

713
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 4: to have more information before talking to him. She also

714
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 4: said he was furious afterwards and they had a terrible fight.

715
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 4: So you guys are right, it was not the right move,

716
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 4: and he did blame her, saying she should have defended

717
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 4: their position, and that she knew having kids was a

718
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 4: must for him.

719
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 3: Ay, yeah, yeah, goes back on her. That's so sad. Yeah.

720
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 4: He also said that a woman would only be a

721
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 4: real woman is she gave her man biological children.

722
00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:11,600
Speaker 3: John sucks.

723
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, sorry, guys, didn't mean to defend John.

724
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 3: John freaking sick.

725
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 4: That is an awful thing to say.

726
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:18,719
Speaker 3: You suck, John.

727
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 4: I don't care how popular, good looking, or how much

728
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 4: you look like.

729
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 3: He don't how sexy you are. You suck.

730
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 4: She asked him what if she could not and apparently

731
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 4: he never answered. That's heartbreaking.

732
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, She's like, what if I medically can't have children?

733
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 4: It seems more has happened in the fight, but I

734
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 4: decided not to pressure her and let her tell me

735
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:42,480
Speaker 4: what she was comfortable with. Lastly, she decided to take

736
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 4: some time off and go home to her mom. I

737
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 4: think it's a good idea.

738
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, get away from that environment.

739
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 4: The saddest for me was that she cried, saying someone

740
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:54,479
Speaker 4: like her would never get a man like him, and

741
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 4: that she was scared of losing him. What is her name, Janet? Janet,

742
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 4: you deserve a wonderful man, even better than John.

743
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 3: And yeah, you're gonna find a better one. That John

744
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 3: is the bottom of the barrel.

745
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 4: So one that loves you in all circumstances unconditionally. Yeah.

746
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,560
Speaker 4: That it was like she found a golden ticket. I

747
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:16,360
Speaker 4: held my tongue because I personally do not think he

748
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 4: is a prize. But everyone else, including Opie's husband, does.

749
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,320
Speaker 3: Thinks he's amazing. Oh John.

750
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,960
Speaker 4: But again I took the advice and did not pressure further.

751
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:28,799
Speaker 4: And I don't want to pressure you. But you can

752
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 4: join us live every weekday at three pm PST. Just

753
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:32,280
Speaker 4: have our profile.

754
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:32,799
Speaker 3: Stop it.

755
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:35,239
Speaker 4: No pressure with that, no pressure. You can join us

756
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 4: if you want, if you want. There's another relevant update.

757
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 4: I also had a long talk with my husband and

758
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 4: we are at odds. He still thinks I'm overreacting and

759
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:47,239
Speaker 4: that John John poops gold to the hut.

760
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:47,960
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

761
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 4: Husband, But John.

762
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 3: Though, Yeah, Opie's like, oh my god, I just found

763
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 3: out from Janet that John thinks that women are only

764
00:34:55,800 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 3: you know, useful if they have kids. And he was like, nah, John, Yeah.

765
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:03,279
Speaker 4: He said it to me.

766
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:05,879
Speaker 3: But like he is a meaning, He's just Joe. He's

767
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 3: a joke, a.

768
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:12,279
Speaker 4: Joke, you know, John John, He's perfect he pops. I

769
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 4: am frustrated, but not much I can do for now.

770
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 4: Not a fantastic update, but it has been a few days,

771
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,280
Speaker 4: so I will let you know if there's anything big happening.

772
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:21,879
Speaker 4: She ever let us.

773
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have the same thing. I guess like now

774
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 3: at moving past the you know, we already know that

775
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 3: you shouldn't have said it in that way, but it

776
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,919
Speaker 3: seems like it has sparked a conversation with Janet and John,

777
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 3: and it does seem like a Janet is realizing that

778
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:43,440
Speaker 3: John is kind of the worst. But also I'm kind

779
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:46,439
Speaker 3: of worried about Opie's husband, like the fact that he's

780
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:51,800
Speaker 3: not he's not realizing that John is dangerous.

781
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:54,839
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam' your og host.

782
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:56,399
Speaker 4: Here. We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's

783
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 4: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

784
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 3: Is furious with me because I won't buy any essential oils.

785
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,319
Speaker 3: Buy those essential oils you need it.

786
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 6: They're essentials of the names.

787
00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:14,360
Speaker 3: So up until very recently, I honestly had no ideas

788
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:17,400
Speaker 3: that essential oils were sold by MLM companies or that

789
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 3: people thought they had healing powers.

790
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 4: They do.

791
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 3: I've been diffusing them for a few years because I

792
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:26,000
Speaker 3: like that they're cleaner and safer than candles and incense.

793
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:29,319
Speaker 3: That's the only reason. By the way, this comes from

794
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 3: Flouder nineteen six oh one, nine five to three on

795
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,760
Speaker 3: the Okay Storytime. Last week, I invited three old friends

796
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 3: from high school over for wine and appetizers, just a

797
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:42,800
Speaker 3: typical hangout. My friend Katie invited Kara. Kara went to

798
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 3: high school with us, but I was never close with her,

799
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 3: so I wasn't friends with her on Facebook or anything.

800
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 3: As soon as Kara saw my DIFFUSERR, she said her

801
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:55,360
Speaker 3: side job is selling essential oils and basically started pitching me.

802
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 3: It was pretty obvious right away that she works for

803
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 3: an MLM, but I honestly I didn't care the way

804
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,279
Speaker 3: I saw it, since I used these oils all the time.

805
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:05,759
Speaker 3: I'd rather support someone I actually know than give my

806
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 3: money to some company on Amazon. So I told her

807
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:11,359
Speaker 3: to shoot me a Facebook message later and we could

808
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:15,320
Speaker 3: talk about it. Anyone who's familiar with MLMs knows what's

809
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,560
Speaker 3: coming next. I was prepared to pay a bit for

810
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 3: a bit of a markup, but the prices were insane.

811
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 3: Caara wanted close to thirty dollars for something I could

812
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 3: get for five bucks on Amazon.

813
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:28,800
Speaker 4: Some are like a lot more quality.

814
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, it depends on the quality for sure. So I

815
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,360
Speaker 3: thanked her for reaching out and told her the oils

816
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 3: were way out of my price range. Car tried to

817
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 3: tell me about how her oils were more pure than

818
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 3: mine and now they have healing powers. I told her

819
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:43,839
Speaker 3: I could just go to the doctor when I'm sick,

820
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,400
Speaker 3: and I don't need the oils for anything but making

821
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 3: the room smell nicer.

822
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:50,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, the Terra. The Terra is like the biggest one.

823
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 4: It's a MLM oh essential oils. The Terra's essential oils.

824
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 4: One of my best friend's mom does that for them.

825
00:37:58,840 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 6: No free sponsors.

826
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:03,120
Speaker 3: Then she got a bit nasty, told me I'm poisoning

827
00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,479
Speaker 3: myself with my cheap oils and said I wasn't smart

828
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:07,759
Speaker 3: enough to see the opportunity she was presenting me with.

829
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:11,520
Speaker 3: You have no idea what I'm doing for basic MLM stuff,

830
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:14,120
Speaker 3: And I barely know Cara, so I didn't care. The

831
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:16,840
Speaker 3: issue is this text I got from Katie yesterday. She

832
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 3: said it was really rude to me to lead Cara

833
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 3: on and made her think I was going to buy something,

834
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 3: and that she didn't think I was the kind of

835
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:26,840
Speaker 3: person who'd buy from a baseless corporation over supporting a

836
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 3: friend who owns her own business. Yeah, she said, I

837
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:35,879
Speaker 3: didn't need to start buying all my oils from CARAA.

838
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 3: But it was downright disrespectful of me to it not

839
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 3: to not at least try her product and see if

840
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 3: it was better.

841
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:42,360
Speaker 1: Hmmm.

842
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 3: I honestly stared at my phone for a straight minute

843
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:48,880
Speaker 3: after I read that message. That is wild. It was wild,

844
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:52,560
Speaker 3: But I finally sent the following reply. I didn't waste

845
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:56,400
Speaker 3: Kara's time by hearing her sales pitch. I was legitimately

846
00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 3: interested in her product until she mentioned it was six

847
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 3: times what I normally pay. Any legitimate business person would

848
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 3: understand how important pricing is to people and would be

849
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:09,080
Speaker 3: smart enough not to back a company that charges that

850
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,200
Speaker 3: kind of markup. Personally, I think it's a bit of

851
00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:13,719
Speaker 3: a stretch to call Klara a business owner. I think

852
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:16,240
Speaker 3: an actual business owner would know better than to insult

853
00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 3: a potential client after they chose not to buy anything,

854
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 3: and they certainly wouldn't turn around and trash that potential

855
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:25,920
Speaker 3: client to mutual friends, as Clara clearly did with you. Yeah,

856
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:29,920
Speaker 3: it's not her business, and it's not small. It's been

857
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,840
Speaker 3: over a day and Katie still hasn't texted me. Backed

858
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 3: She's obviously acting like a jerk, but she really is

859
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 3: a good friend and I don't want this to end

860
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:41,480
Speaker 3: our friendship. Should I reach out? What should I say?

861
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,480
Speaker 3: And there is an update? Honestly, it seems like they're

862
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:45,360
Speaker 3: kind of whack.

863
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't even know what to.

864
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 3: Say't be I would be like, okay, it's like because

865
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna talk to you right now.

866
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,760
Speaker 4: It's just super blaming. Yeah, from Kara or Cara whatever,

867
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 4: it's like who cares, like, oh he's not. Yeah, it's

868
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 4: like but from Katy, from her, from her good friend,

869
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:01,200
Speaker 4: and she's just like coming in.

870
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:02,759
Speaker 3: She's like ow dare you?

871
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 4: And also just really insulting to be like I didn't know,

872
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:08,640
Speaker 4: like insulting and shaming and be like I didn't think

873
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 4: you would buy corporation.

874
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 3: Everyone's got like different monetary you know, financial stuff going on.

875
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 3: You can't ask her to buy thirty dollars essential oil.

876
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 4: It's pretty righteous to come at and insult her for

877
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:23,359
Speaker 4: where she makes her.

878
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 3: It's like, why aren't you purchasing all this stuff from

879
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:26,440
Speaker 3: Kara fund?

880
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 2: Her business.

881
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 4: If you were, maybe you would be healed by the oils.

882
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 3: And you would be less mean. But there is an update.

883
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 3: This isn't the update they wanted to be writing. A

884
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:38,799
Speaker 3: lot of you made correct predictions the other day. Katie

885
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:42,960
Speaker 3: is absolutely in Cara's downline mean, I don't know, maybe

886
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:46,080
Speaker 3: like she's part of the MLF. Okay, she just started

887
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:49,360
Speaker 3: making Facebook posts about the essential oils she's selling. I

888
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,800
Speaker 3: think this is probably the final nail in the coffin

889
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:55,879
Speaker 3: of our friendship, which I'm sure sounds dramatic, but hear

890
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 3: me out. Katie and I have been friends since high school,

891
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:01,799
Speaker 3: but the thing that held us together these years was

892
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:04,920
Speaker 3: being burnouts. Neither of us went to college. Both of

893
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 3: us just got crappy jobs out of high school and

894
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 3: did nothing productive. So much in common, I was like, Wow,

895
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:13,359
Speaker 3: you're both just doing nothing. When I was twenty two,

896
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 3: I decided I was sick of making twelve dollars an hour,

897
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,880
Speaker 3: and I went back to school. After three years of

898
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:22,880
Speaker 3: busting my butt, taking credit overloads and doing evening classes

899
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 3: after summer internships, I recently graduated with the CS degree

900
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 3: and got a coding job with a top ten tech company. Congrats. Yeah,

901
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:33,600
Speaker 3: that's great. Yeah. While I was in school, I had

902
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 3: a difficult time making friends, probably because I was older

903
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 3: than everyone else, and I clung very hard to my

904
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 3: high school friends like Katie. My friendship with her definitely

905
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,800
Speaker 3: was strained, though she seemed to think that me bettering

906
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:48,280
Speaker 3: myself meant that I looked down on her. Things started

907
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:51,360
Speaker 3: getting really difficult when I started getting high paying internships.

908
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:54,400
Speaker 3: They got worse when I got an extremely well paying

909
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 3: job right out of college and she saw what kind

910
00:41:57,520 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 3: of apartment I was able to afford. Katie lives in

911
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:03,440
Speaker 3: a very small apartment with a roommate. She would talk

912
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 3: about how school had changed me for the worse and

913
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:08,239
Speaker 3: how I thought I was better than her. Some of

914
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 3: it was just her projecting insecurity, but some of it

915
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:15,280
Speaker 3: was also probably tactless behavior on my part. The truth

916
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 3: of the matter is that I do think Katie is

917
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,839
Speaker 3: capable of being better, and it frustrates me that she'd

918
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:24,280
Speaker 3: prefer to buy into a pyramid scheme then get an education.

919
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 3: Her parents still have her college fund and have told

920
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,440
Speaker 3: her that she's welcome to it. It's something like one

921
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 3: hundred gay. Oh, so it's not a money problem. Yeah,

922
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 3: but also it's like way more than she'd need for

923
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 3: two years at a community college and two years at

924
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 3: a state school if she chooses to go back. But

925
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 3: I guess she'd rather get rich quick. Howkin Essential Oils

926
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 3: and you can get rich in friendship by joining us

927
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 3: live every week to at three PMPSD on YouTube. Just

928
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 3: tab her profile. Yeah, I think it's kind of hard

929
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 3: to be friends with people who are like really self

930
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 3: righteous and just start not listening to you.

931
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,799
Speaker 4: Yeah. I think the contact for all that stuff to

932
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,359
Speaker 4: me still feels irrelevant.

933
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I think it doesn't really matter.

934
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:08,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, at the end of the day, like you made

935
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,240
Speaker 4: as an autonomous human being. Yeah, you made a decision

936
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:13,799
Speaker 4: to not spend your money on something, and for a

937
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 4: friend to blame, shame and do it in a righteous way, Yeah,

938
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:21,120
Speaker 4: just doesn't feel good at all.

939
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:24,319
Speaker 3: Anyway, It's pretty obvious that Kara is Katie's mentor now,

940
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:27,360
Speaker 3: and after the SmackDown I laid on Kara about what

941
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 3: a bad business woman she was and how Essential Oils

942
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,880
Speaker 3: are stupid. I'm guessing Katie is probably done with me.

943
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:35,760
Speaker 3: To her, it probably just seemed like yet another example

944
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 3: of me looking down on her. I appreciated what a

945
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 3: lot of you said about how friendships shouldn't be predicated

946
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,520
Speaker 3: on buying things. But I think I also just need

947
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 3: to accept that we've outgrown each other and this would

948
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 3: have happened soon whether she got into essential oils or not.

949
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 3: I'm still sad, though, and that is the end of

950
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 3: that story. Sometimes you just sometimes you move on from friends.

951
00:43:57,960 --> 00:43:59,920
Speaker 3: Sometimes you realize that you're in different places in your

952
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:01,560
Speaker 3: life and it just doesn't work out.

953
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:04,359
Speaker 4: I don't I don't think it necessarily has to end

954
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:06,359
Speaker 4: the friendship if you don't want to be friends with her,

955
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:07,280
Speaker 4: I'm sure.

956
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:07,759
Speaker 2: I don't know.

957
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:08,880
Speaker 3: It seems like she's kind of like me.

958
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:11,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, it seems like she is kind of like meh,

959
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:14,960
Speaker 4: But I don't like I think in itself her comment

960
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:17,799
Speaker 4: was rude, like super rude, But I don't think it

961
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:19,640
Speaker 4: needed to break a friendship.

962
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 3: I don't think it necessarily needed to. But also I

963
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 3: think it was less the comment and just like this

964
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 3: whole mL stuff is just seemingly taking over her life

965
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:31,400
Speaker 3: in a way that she's placing above opee in their friendship.

966
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 6: Sure, my boyfriend and I agree to split the bills,

967
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:39,560
Speaker 6: but he won't follow through pay up sucker fifty to

968
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:41,919
Speaker 6: fifty baby. I've been with my boyfriend almost a year.

969
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 6: He treats me very nice, has been always super kind,

970
00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:48,320
Speaker 6: He's emotionally supportive, can't communicate pretty well, and has taken

971
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:50,960
Speaker 6: on the role of a stepdad father figure for my kids.

972
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 6: When we first started dating, I expressed him that I

973
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:56,360
Speaker 6: don't really believe in going fifty to fifty, not that

974
00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 6: it can't work for other people, but I've been a

975
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 6: single mom for three and a half years before we've

976
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:03,800
Speaker 6: started dating, so I'm used to doing everything myself. Anyways,

977
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:05,880
Speaker 6: some may not agree with this way of thinking, and

978
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,239
Speaker 6: sometimes I even question if it's wrong or not. By

979
00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:11,840
Speaker 6: the way, this comes from user abject temporary two zero

980
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:14,400
Speaker 6: three on our slash Okay story time Separated. So to me,

981
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:16,799
Speaker 6: going fifty to fifty with the man I'm living with

982
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:18,759
Speaker 6: just doesn't sit right with me. I could partially be

983
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:20,719
Speaker 6: due to the fact my mom was a stay at

984
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:23,000
Speaker 6: home mom and my dad has worked the same job

985
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 6: since he was eighteen. They've been married thirty five years

986
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 6: and still enjoying being together. Or it may stem from

987
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:30,359
Speaker 6: the fact that I would love to be a stay

988
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 6: at home mom and do have more traditional values. I

989
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:35,319
Speaker 6: want to feel so secure with a man that I'm

990
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 6: able to submit to him and provide a loving, safe

991
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:41,279
Speaker 6: space and home for my husband and kids. I've been

992
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 6: into rival mode for a long time. I've always depended

993
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,719
Speaker 6: on myself to make things happen. I'm tired of that.

994
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 6: I want to be able to relax and know that

995
00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:51,120
Speaker 6: if I lost my job tomorrow or got sick, that

996
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:52,880
Speaker 6: everything would still be taken care of.

997
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:55,719
Speaker 2: Dank because I'm having to provide through and through. They

998
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:57,839
Speaker 2: could have an off date. She's probably never had off date.

999
00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:00,440
Speaker 6: No, she's a super mom. I do not mind working,

1000
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:02,360
Speaker 6: and I have my own career. I just think I

1001
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 6: would be able to be a better girlfriend slash wife

1002
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:07,440
Speaker 6: if I had the financial security. When I initially had

1003
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:10,240
Speaker 6: this conversation with him, we weren't living together. He agreed

1004
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:11,840
Speaker 6: that he would love to be able to provide for

1005
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 6: us and doesn't want me to have to pay fifty

1006
00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:16,880
Speaker 6: to fifty of anything. Fast forward a couple of weeks

1007
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,640
Speaker 6: and his lease ended, so we decided him moving in

1008
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 6: with me would be the best thing until my lease

1009
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:23,839
Speaker 6: is up and we can find a new place together.

1010
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:25,799
Speaker 6: I should have been more proactive in bringing up our

1011
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 6: previous conversation again about bills, but I was not. It's

1012
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 6: been five months since he moved in with me, and

1013
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:34,120
Speaker 6: it's safe to say our agreement has not been kept.

1014
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 2: Dang.

1015
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 6: He went through a couple of job changes when he

1016
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,040
Speaker 6: first moved in and fell behind on some of his

1017
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:41,320
Speaker 6: personal bills. My rent is two thousand month plus a

1018
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:45,400
Speaker 6: four hunder CARDOT two hundred dollars car, insurance, utilities, groceries, gas,

1019
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:48,520
Speaker 6: plus two kids who are in sports and extracurriculars. He

1020
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:51,440
Speaker 6: hasn't paid half of anything since being here. This will

1021
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 6: be the first month. Tomorrow is the first where he

1022
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 6: is supposed to be giving me half of the rent

1023
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:59,200
Speaker 6: and half of the utilities and groceries for payment. I

1024
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 6: have a feeling he's not going to be able to

1025
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:02,880
Speaker 6: give it to me. I try not to be materialistic,

1026
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 6: and I know it's weird for me to expect a

1027
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:07,160
Speaker 6: guid to cover my rent in this economy. I understand

1028
00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:09,920
Speaker 6: not everyone was dealt the easy hand of money or career.

1029
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 6: I know it's strange to expect something of someone that

1030
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:14,759
Speaker 6: I couldn't even do myself. I know life is hard

1031
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 6: and it's easy to fall behind on things. I guess

1032
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:19,439
Speaker 6: I'm just wondering if this makes me an a hole

1033
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:22,080
Speaker 6: or if I have valid points. He's good in almost

1034
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:25,440
Speaker 6: every other aspect than finances. I see videos a lot

1035
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 6: about talking about women being with men who they couldn't

1036
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 6: call in an emergency or if their car broke down,

1037
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 6: or if you need to help pay a bill. That

1038
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:34,799
Speaker 6: makes me wonder if I would be a much better

1039
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:37,360
Speaker 6: wife to someone who could provide that security to me.

1040
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:40,640
Speaker 6: I know it's hard to figure genuine people who actually care,

1041
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:43,400
Speaker 6: who won't cheat, and who will be a good father figure.

1042
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:45,760
Speaker 6: I know that love is what life is all about

1043
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,719
Speaker 6: and money is in everything, but not having that security

1044
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:52,319
Speaker 6: is holding me back. Any advice is appreciated, and to say,

1045
00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 6: before getting together, I had plans to move in with

1046
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:56,720
Speaker 6: my grandma so I can save to buy a house

1047
00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:59,720
Speaker 6: next year. He knew about these plans by living expenses

1048
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:02,359
Speaker 6: arm making its possible to save. So in the last

1049
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:05,760
Speaker 6: five to six months, I spent over twenty thousand dollars

1050
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:08,120
Speaker 6: in living expenses that I thought we're going to be

1051
00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:12,240
Speaker 6: paid fifty to fifty. I'm talking about living expenses only. Also,

1052
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 6: I know many people will have opinions, but my kid's

1053
00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:17,120
Speaker 6: father passed away, so telling me I can't be a

1054
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,000
Speaker 6: traditional wife because I'm a single mom is unhelpful. And

1055
00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:21,200
Speaker 6: we do have an edit coming up.

1056
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:24,439
Speaker 2: Dude, that's tough. She's looking for that support. I don't

1057
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:24,879
Speaker 2: blame her.

1058
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, she's worked so hard and I think she's just

1059
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:29,240
Speaker 6: she needs a break.

1060
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:33,399
Speaker 2: That's crap, dude, ten k. You weren't able to save

1061
00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 2: ten k because someone couldn't split. That's an egg. That's

1062
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:38,560
Speaker 2: a turnof for me. If I was going to a

1063
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 2: relationship and it was like, hey, you're supposed to pay

1064
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:43,280
Speaker 2: this much, I'm supposed to pay this much, great, let's

1065
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:43,919
Speaker 2: do that.

1066
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:46,800
Speaker 6: I think OP is looking for a definite, just financial

1067
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:49,200
Speaker 6: security at least. I feel like at the very beginning

1068
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 6: of this relationship, fifty to fifty is okay until it

1069
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:55,200
Speaker 6: like you know, it shows its smooth things over. Holy

1070
00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:57,560
Speaker 6: hell to say, this is not about me wanting him

1071
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:00,160
Speaker 6: to pay for one hundred percent of my lifestyle while

1072
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 6: I stay at home. No, this is about him not

1073
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:04,560
Speaker 6: being able to stick to our agreement of fifty to

1074
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:08,320
Speaker 6: fifty living expenses, not anything for my kids, no flashy cars,

1075
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:10,759
Speaker 6: private school or fancy dinners. I'm upset because in the

1076
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:13,520
Speaker 6: six months he's been living with me, he hasn't upheld

1077
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 6: this end of the agreement. I know, expecting someone to

1078
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:18,239
Speaker 6: do one hundred percent for me and two kids isn't realistic.

1079
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 6: I'm only expecting fifty to fifty. Even if I wasn't

1080
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:23,960
Speaker 6: originally fond of it, I was willing to do it,

1081
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:25,759
Speaker 6: and if he had been keeping that deal the last

1082
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:28,839
Speaker 6: six months, I wouldn't be here edited yet again, I

1083
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:31,760
Speaker 6: honestly wasn't expecting anyone to reply to this. I should

1084
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 6: have worded the beginning of my post better. I think

1085
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:35,880
Speaker 6: most people are stuck on what I said about a

1086
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:38,280
Speaker 6: traditional wife and not wanting to go fifty to fifty.

1087
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:38,520
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1088
00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:39,480
Speaker 2: I'm kind of stuck on that too.

1089
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:41,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, Like she was like, I need a man who

1090
00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:43,719
Speaker 6: just needs to take care of me. Yeah, but I

1091
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:44,400
Speaker 6: think she's.

1092
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:45,759
Speaker 2: She's taking care of the man.

1093
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:46,320
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1094
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,440
Speaker 6: I mentioned that because that conversation happened long before we

1095
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 6: even started dating, so he knew my stance after falling

1096
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:54,360
Speaker 6: in love. I was very willing to do fifty to

1097
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:58,440
Speaker 6: fifty with him on shared living expenses, not any of

1098
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:00,960
Speaker 6: my personal bills or anything for Mike kids. I made

1099
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:03,400
Speaker 6: that decision based on the account of him actually falling

1100
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:05,560
Speaker 6: through with it. We live in a very expensive city.

1101
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:07,879
Speaker 6: He would not find anywhere else for one thousand dollars

1102
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:10,239
Speaker 6: a month. His half of our place now is one

1103
00:50:10,239 --> 00:50:12,360
Speaker 6: thousand a month. He would be lucky to have a

1104
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,480
Speaker 6: single bedroom or a basement in someone's house for one

1105
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:16,880
Speaker 6: thousand dollars. He could have simply kept his own place

1106
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:19,480
Speaker 6: he had before he moved in. He paid eighteen fifty

1107
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:22,279
Speaker 6: by himself for years and let me move to my

1108
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:24,560
Speaker 6: grandma's if he wasn't going to be able to do

1109
00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:28,400
Speaker 6: his agreed upon fifty to fifty for again living expenses.

1110
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:31,200
Speaker 6: I do not mind working, and I work very hard,

1111
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 6: which I think was very adamant.

1112
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:34,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah.

1113
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 6: I do all the cooking, cleaning, and buy all the groceries. Ooh,

1114
00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:42,200
Speaker 6: wash his clothes and pack them, lunch every day, spicy

1115
00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 6: sleep almost every day. I was still willing to do

1116
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:46,640
Speaker 6: all of that as long as he came through with

1117
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:48,959
Speaker 6: half of his rents, which did not happen the last

1118
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:51,960
Speaker 6: six months. Dude, I won't be replying any more on here,

1119
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:53,799
Speaker 6: as most of the comments either do not read the

1120
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,399
Speaker 6: whole post or or convince I'm a gold digger, since

1121
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:58,480
Speaker 6: I don't want to continue paying one hundred percent of

1122
00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 6: living expenses with a man who promised fifty to fifty

1123
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:03,400
Speaker 6: six months ago. But you know you can do one

1124
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:05,640
Speaker 6: hundred percent of the time, no fifty to fifty's by

1125
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:08,680
Speaker 6: joining us live three pm every weekday just to have our profile.

1126
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 2: Dude, you have such a great person in your life

1127
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:14,600
Speaker 2: right now, pay up. And it sounds like op is

1128
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:17,120
Speaker 2: non confronational. It sounds like this, it's been six months.

1129
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 2: She should have said something earlier. I'd say something earlier too,

1130
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 2: like just say something he did lose his.

1131
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:23,319
Speaker 6: Job, that's like a way. Yeah, but I guess give

1132
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:24,960
Speaker 6: him like a leeway of like a couple of months.

1133
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:26,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, maybe a month.

1134
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:27,960
Speaker 6: But we're halfway through the year and the man has

1135
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 6: not even coughed up any of the money.

1136
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:32,719
Speaker 2: And he's getting his clothes washed, his food made.

1137
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 6: And then he probably yeah, he's getting the he's getting

1138
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:39,279
Speaker 6: the whole nine yards and housing everything, and she's not

1139
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:41,360
Speaker 6: getting anything. And I get what she's saying. I guess,

1140
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:43,759
Speaker 6: I guess I also understand the comments. You're like, you

1141
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:45,640
Speaker 6: want to be a gold digger, you want one hundred percent.

1142
00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:47,799
Speaker 6: You said that in the Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's saying

1143
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 6: that because she's just tired, dude. She's been a like

1144
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:51,359
Speaker 6: a stay at home mom.

1145
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:52,360
Speaker 2: Give her a break.

1146
00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:53,880
Speaker 6: She wants to be like I mean, she hasn't been

1147
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:57,279
Speaker 6: exail doing everything. She's tired. She needs a little, like

1148
00:51:57,840 --> 00:51:59,920
Speaker 6: just a little break. And she's like, Oh my god,

1149
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:01,680
Speaker 6: I'm so excited for this man to be in my life.

1150
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:04,400
Speaker 6: I'm gonna get a little break, the break that I wanted. Wrong,

1151
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:06,720
Speaker 6: so wrong, so far from it. You got another man.

1152
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:09,280
Speaker 2: That you need to take care of the bare minimum,

1153
00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 2: and he has a good rent. Like everything here, he

1154
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,160
Speaker 2: has a good deal. He just needs to pay. Is

1155
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:14,880
Speaker 2: that Just pay your half, dude, Just pay your freaking hab.

1156
00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:16,799
Speaker 2: I would gladly pay one thousand dollars a month to

1157
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 2: live somewhere.

1158
00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:19,439
Speaker 6: Oh one hundred percent. I've been very patient with him,

1159
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,160
Speaker 6: and I try not to bring it up until the

1160
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:23,359
Speaker 6: first of the month comes and he doesn't have his half.

1161
00:52:23,520 --> 00:52:25,440
Speaker 6: I always try to give the benefit of the doubt.

1162
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,360
Speaker 6: And if it was just one month that's happened, I

1163
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:29,480
Speaker 6: wouldn't be here. Thank you for the ones who tried

1164
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:32,360
Speaker 6: to see through my vagueness and read the whole story.

1165
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:35,279
Speaker 6: Slash comments. I appreciate all the kind comments and the

1166
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:37,799
Speaker 6: ones who are willing to hear my reasonings and responses.

1167
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:40,200
Speaker 6: Next time I post in this, I'll make sure to

1168
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:43,000
Speaker 6: type the whole story with the assumption many people will

1169
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:45,440
Speaker 6: see it and try to pick it apart. Lol. Ps

1170
00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:48,200
Speaker 6: it's November. First rent is due. He just texted me

1171
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 6: to let me know he won't have all of his

1172
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:52,200
Speaker 6: half this month. Five hundred dollars is the most he

1173
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 6: can do right now.

1174
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:54,520
Speaker 2: At least he's paying something.

1175
00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:56,319
Speaker 6: I asked him if we can have a conversation after

1176
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:58,560
Speaker 6: he gets off work about everything, so we will see

1177
00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 6: what happens. And that's the end of that story. Do

1178
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 6: you think he's like, oh, this is a lifestyle.

1179
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:05,279
Speaker 2: I would definitely take up the five hundred and be like, yo,

1180
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 2: five hundred this month, you got to come up with

1181
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:10,239
Speaker 2: another five next month, another thousand. I would definitely take

1182
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 2: that five hundred.

1183
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:12,920
Speaker 6: Take what you can because you need the financial You

1184
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:15,240
Speaker 6: need the financial support, not support, but like the financial

1185
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:18,840
Speaker 6: help that you were again promised at least fifty to fifty.

1186
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:20,200
Speaker 6: Let's have that story though.

1187
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:22,279
Speaker 3: Here's johnyo Og host here. We're going to get back

1188
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:23,879
Speaker 3: to the stories. But He's a quick three minute break

1189
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:24,880
Speaker 3: of asthmimor sponsors.

1190
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,480
Speaker 2: We've been married for twelve years, but now everything is

1191
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:29,160
Speaker 2: falling apart.

1192
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:30,440
Speaker 6: Go to thirteen see what happens.

1193
00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:33,080
Speaker 2: Over the last five weeks, I've discovered my wife was

1194
00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:36,520
Speaker 2: emotionally involved with another man, which sent us into a

1195
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:40,280
Speaker 2: spiral of control, resentment and mixed emotions, and an attempt

1196
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:45,040
Speaker 2: to regain control. I created explicit lists of expectations, which

1197
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:48,959
Speaker 2: she followed, but left her feeling trapped and miserable. While

1198
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 2: I've been focusing on myself and making significant changes, she

1199
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:56,239
Speaker 2: continues to express doubts about her feeling romantic love for

1200
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 2: me again. She recently brought up old resentments, including filling

1201
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:03,880
Speaker 2: unappreciated for her accomplishments, and expressed that divorce feels like

1202
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:07,520
Speaker 2: the right decision. Although I struggle with insecurity, I have

1203
00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:10,319
Speaker 2: been doing my best to give her space while still

1204
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 2: leaning in two Moments of Connection. We have a two

1205
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:16,080
Speaker 2: day intervention plan, but I'm afraid she will back out

1206
00:54:16,160 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 2: before we get there. By the way, this comes from

1207
00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:20,200
Speaker 2: glass Airy ninety ninety six on the r so I

1208
00:54:20,239 --> 00:54:23,360
Speaker 2: show Okay Storytime Sebreddit so here is some relationship background

1209
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:26,160
Speaker 2: and early challenges we've had. We've been married for twelve

1210
00:54:26,239 --> 00:54:29,239
Speaker 2: years and we have three kids together. Early in our relationship,

1211
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:33,160
Speaker 2: she broke things off multiple times, unsure if we were

1212
00:54:33,239 --> 00:54:34,000
Speaker 2: right for each other.

1213
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:37,239
Speaker 6: Was that not the first red flag for you?

1214
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1215
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:39,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1216
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:42,759
Speaker 6: If she was like this early, we're done that, well,

1217
00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:44,399
Speaker 6: I don't think I want to go through with this. Yeah,

1218
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:45,160
Speaker 6: He's like, no, you do.

1219
00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:48,200
Speaker 2: You could have doubts, but breaking it off. I responded

1220
00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:51,239
Speaker 2: by going no contact, focusing on myself, and within three

1221
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:53,879
Speaker 2: to four months she saw me happy with someone else

1222
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:56,480
Speaker 2: and came back ready to try again.

1223
00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:58,400
Speaker 6: Oh my god, that she got jealous.

1224
00:54:58,480 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 2: After about four months she was fully committed, and from

1225
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:03,880
Speaker 2: then on we were inseparable.

1226
00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:06,160
Speaker 6: I don't like if that's how it started. That's a

1227
00:55:06,239 --> 00:55:08,240
Speaker 6: terrible start to our relationship. I'm sorry.

1228
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:11,600
Speaker 2: Over the years, life became more demanding. In twenty sixteen,

1229
00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:14,480
Speaker 2: we began fertile treatments and had our first child in

1230
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:17,680
Speaker 2: twenty eighteen, and welcomed another baby in twenty one while

1231
00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:21,360
Speaker 2: also navigating the diagnosis of one of our children with autism.

1232
00:55:21,520 --> 00:55:25,040
Speaker 2: These challenges pulled us further apart emotionally, and at the

1233
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:29,239
Speaker 2: same time, I began struggling with chronic health issues, which

1234
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:32,640
Speaker 2: strained us even more throughout our marriage. She often asked

1235
00:55:32,640 --> 00:55:34,880
Speaker 2: me to pull my weight more around the house, spend

1236
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:37,200
Speaker 2: more time with the kids, and put my phone away

1237
00:55:37,239 --> 00:55:39,600
Speaker 2: when I got home. She wanted me to work fewer

1238
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:42,520
Speaker 2: hours and listened to her instead of always trying to

1239
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:45,239
Speaker 2: solve her problems. She always said that I made her

1240
00:55:45,239 --> 00:55:48,319
Speaker 2: feel stupid or inferior at times, even though that was

1241
00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:51,200
Speaker 2: never my intention. They're both a whole, I'm just gonna

1242
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:53,399
Speaker 2: say right now after reading this, they're both the ale

1243
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:56,719
Speaker 2: and a toxic relationships. This is very toxic verry tonxers.

1244
00:55:56,760 --> 00:55:59,360
Speaker 6: You guys did this for twelve years and thought we

1245
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:02,520
Speaker 6: can keep this year one.

1246
00:56:02,719 --> 00:56:06,160
Speaker 2: Oh no. My anger became an issue recently, largely due

1247
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 2: to the frustrations from my health challenges. She told me

1248
00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:11,360
Speaker 2: she feels like she can't come home to me for

1249
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:15,640
Speaker 2: help anymore because I've become distracted and rumpy. However, she

1250
00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:19,360
Speaker 2: has always praised my ability to solve problems, my athleticsism

1251
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:22,480
Speaker 2: are shared interests, and the way I handle my disease

1252
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:24,799
Speaker 2: from a mental standpoint. So it sounds like he has

1253
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:28,600
Speaker 2: great characteristics, dude. A therapist will work. So many effing

1254
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:31,440
Speaker 2: wonders in your relationship right now you need it. I

1255
00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:32,960
Speaker 2: just feel like they don't know how to communicate to

1256
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:33,359
Speaker 2: each other.

1257
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:35,840
Speaker 6: No both Yeah, He's like I'm upset.

1258
00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:38,640
Speaker 2: She's like, do more. She also appreciated the times I

1259
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:40,840
Speaker 2: took the kids with me on outings to give her

1260
00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:43,640
Speaker 2: a break. The last five weeks Week by week summary.

1261
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:47,080
Speaker 2: Week one discovery of the emotional affair. I found out

1262
00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:50,120
Speaker 2: that when she was emotionally involved with another man, someone

1263
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:53,600
Speaker 2: from my neighborhood with whom she shared hobbies we used

1264
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:56,399
Speaker 2: to enjoy together, they had been texting late at night,

1265
00:56:56,480 --> 00:56:59,319
Speaker 2: which felt like a betrayal. When I confronted her, she

1266
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:02,440
Speaker 2: admitted to the emotional connection, but promised to do anything

1267
00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:05,000
Speaker 2: to save the marriage. For a short time, it felt

1268
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,480
Speaker 2: like we were back on track. She was meeting many

1269
00:57:07,680 --> 00:57:11,239
Speaker 2: of my needs. We had fun together again. However, I

1270
00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:13,520
Speaker 2: forced her to cut off contact with the other man.

1271
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:17,640
Speaker 2: Resentment began to build beneath the surface, though she didn't

1272
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:20,760
Speaker 2: express it at the time. Week two Family trip and

1273
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:23,720
Speaker 2: growing tension. We went on a family trip together. Things

1274
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:27,520
Speaker 2: quickly became tense. She was focused on a race she

1275
00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:29,919
Speaker 2: was running, and I managed the three kids on my own,

1276
00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:32,960
Speaker 2: despite my health issues. When we arrived three minutes late

1277
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,440
Speaker 2: to the finish line due to traffic. She said it

1278
00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:37,880
Speaker 2: was fine at the time, but weeks later she brought

1279
00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:41,440
Speaker 2: it up clearly, still upset. It was becoming harder to

1280
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:45,040
Speaker 2: connect emotionally, and I could fill her pulling away each

1281
00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:48,000
Speaker 2: more every day. Week three, The Fight and the List.

1282
00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:51,040
Speaker 2: This week we had a big fight about how she

1283
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 2: had stopped fighting for the marriage. Out of frustration, I

1284
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:58,440
Speaker 2: created a list of emotional, physical, and spicy sleep expectations

1285
00:57:58,480 --> 00:58:02,200
Speaker 2: for her to meet. While some of the requests were reasonable,

1286
00:58:02,560 --> 00:58:05,800
Speaker 2: others were overly explicit things I knew she would never

1287
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:06,760
Speaker 2: feel comfortable doing.

1288
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:08,240
Speaker 6: Then why would you make this list?

1289
00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:09,240
Speaker 3: Dude?

1290
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:12,560
Speaker 6: What you knew that this was a bad list, And

1291
00:58:12,600 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 6: you're already frustrated with each other and you want to

1292
00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:15,880
Speaker 6: make each other more frustrated.

1293
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:18,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is just a mental mind fuck filled.

1294
00:58:18,520 --> 00:58:21,280
Speaker 6: It's like no longer walking on eggshells, you're walking on minds.

1295
00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:22,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, what what are.

1296
00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:23,800
Speaker 2: We trying to accomplish here?

1297
00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:26,240
Speaker 6: Guys? It is not accomplishing anything. The fact that you

1298
00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:28,560
Speaker 6: guys are not talking and you're just like, there's a list.

1299
00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:30,040
Speaker 6: This is what I want you to do so we

1300
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:30,800
Speaker 6: can save our marriage.

1301
00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:32,400
Speaker 2: I know you're probably not gonna do it because you

1302
00:58:32,440 --> 00:58:33,160
Speaker 2: probably don't like this.

1303
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:35,720
Speaker 6: I knew you wouldn't like what this. Guys, come on,

1304
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:38,760
Speaker 6: this is this is ah, this is bad. Both both

1305
00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:39,240
Speaker 6: a holes.

1306
00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:42,720
Speaker 2: The list reflected my own feelings of rejection and insecurity,

1307
00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:45,120
Speaker 2: as I believe that if she followed it, it would

1308
00:58:45,120 --> 00:58:46,120
Speaker 2: fix our relationship.

1309
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:47,520
Speaker 6: You're You're so effing dumb.

1310
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:49,120
Speaker 2: This is your idea of fixing the relationship.

1311
00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:50,000
Speaker 6: It is so effing dumb.

1312
00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:53,880
Speaker 2: Despite the difficulty, she executed the list almost perfectly that week.

1313
00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:56,800
Speaker 2: What for you, not for herself? For you?

1314
00:58:56,840 --> 00:58:56,920
Speaker 4: What?

1315
00:58:57,320 --> 00:58:58,040
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh.

1316
00:58:58,160 --> 00:59:01,240
Speaker 2: However, she told me that ting to be my expectations

1317
00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:05,320
Speaker 2: left her feeling miserable and emotionally disconnected. Week four out

1318
00:59:05,360 --> 00:59:07,920
Speaker 2: of town and a weekend together. I traveled for a

1319
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:10,880
Speaker 2: work again this week, and she continued to follow the

1320
00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:14,040
Speaker 2: list perfectly. I didn't check her location or monitor her,

1321
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 2: trusting her completely.

1322
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:18,400
Speaker 6: Ah, dude, this is like. It went from like I

1323
00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:20,280
Speaker 6: need to save my relationship to like I want to

1324
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:21,360
Speaker 6: control this relationship.

1325
00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:23,800
Speaker 2: This is this is emotionally abusive.

1326
00:59:23,920 --> 00:59:25,320
Speaker 6: I don't think she's going to follow this list.

1327
00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:28,160
Speaker 2: I am screaming so much on the inside. I've recently

1328
00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:31,800
Speaker 2: hated emotionally abusive people, oh, because I've seen how it

1329
00:59:31,840 --> 00:59:33,560
Speaker 2: turns people out to be come on. At the end

1330
00:59:33,560 --> 00:59:35,680
Speaker 2: of the week, I flew her out to spend the

1331
00:59:35,680 --> 00:59:37,680
Speaker 2: weekend with me, leaving the kids at home for the

1332
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:40,160
Speaker 2: first time. While I thought the weekend went well, later

1333
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:42,720
Speaker 2: she admitted that she had been miserable the entire time,

1334
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:45,400
Speaker 2: feeling like this was just trying to please me without

1335
00:59:45,640 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 2: any real joy. Week five the divorce bomb, an emotional fallout.

1336
00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:52,120
Speaker 2: The day after we returned, I asked if she wanted

1337
00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:55,160
Speaker 2: to work on our marriage counseling workbook, but that's when

1338
00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 2: she told me she wanted a divorce. She said she

1339
00:59:57,760 --> 01:00:00,200
Speaker 2: felt more certain every day that divorce it was the

1340
01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:02,640
Speaker 2: right decision, and that she no longer feared it. It

1341
01:00:02,680 --> 01:00:06,160
Speaker 2: felt like the right thing to do. I lost control, emotionally,

1342
01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:09,640
Speaker 2: becoming belligerent. She refused to sleep in the same room

1343
01:00:09,680 --> 01:00:12,480
Speaker 2: as me. I stayed up all night processing everything and

1344
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:15,760
Speaker 2: realized that I had manipulated the situation to me only

1345
01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:20,960
Speaker 2: my needs. Wow, whoa, whoa, No way you figure that out, dude,

1346
01:00:20,960 --> 01:00:21,640
Speaker 2: that's crazy.

1347
01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 6: Good for you.

1348
01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:24,160
Speaker 3: That was what was wrong.

1349
01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:27,160
Speaker 6: You know your actions have consequences, and this is the

1350
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:28,760
Speaker 6: consequence of your actions.

1351
01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:31,520
Speaker 2: At three am, I apologize for pressuring her, and she

1352
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:34,240
Speaker 2: told me she now feels like every time I convinced

1353
01:00:34,360 --> 01:00:38,560
Speaker 2: or taught her something, it was gaslighting recent resentments and conversations.

1354
01:00:38,880 --> 01:00:42,439
Speaker 2: In recent conversations, she brought up resentments as far back

1355
01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:45,120
Speaker 2: as five years ago. She's only she feels I never

1356
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:49,120
Speaker 2: praised her enough for her accomplishments, her running, biking, giving

1357
01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:53,120
Speaker 2: birth to our children, enduring c sections. She's also resented

1358
01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:54,840
Speaker 2: that I never woke up at night to help with

1359
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:57,880
Speaker 2: the kids, saying that while she thought we had an

1360
01:00:57,920 --> 01:01:01,880
Speaker 2: agreement on that, she now feels like her into it. Interestingly,

1361
01:01:02,240 --> 01:01:05,600
Speaker 2: she said she hasn't seen me this happy or felt

1362
01:01:05,640 --> 01:01:08,439
Speaker 2: like she's seen this version of her best friend since

1363
01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:12,520
Speaker 2: twenty sixteen, the same year we began fertile treatments, key

1364
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:15,520
Speaker 2: Moments from the bike and mixed signals. We went on

1365
01:01:15,560 --> 01:01:18,320
Speaker 2: a bike ride together this week and felt so amazing

1366
01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:20,560
Speaker 2: to reconnect. During the ride, she told me she was

1367
01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:23,120
Speaker 2: proud of the changes I've made. I reminded her that

1368
01:01:23,160 --> 01:01:25,760
Speaker 2: these changes were for me, not just for her. She

1369
01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:28,960
Speaker 2: also told me that my love has always felt conditional

1370
01:01:29,080 --> 01:01:32,160
Speaker 2: and that I promised her that no matter what she chooses,

1371
01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:35,200
Speaker 2: I know she is my soulmate and I will never

1372
01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:38,280
Speaker 2: feel conditional love again. However, she told me she doesn't

1373
01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:40,880
Speaker 2: think she'll ever feel romantic love for me again, even

1374
01:01:40,920 --> 01:01:43,560
Speaker 2: though she still sees glimpses of her old friend. The

1375
01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:46,120
Speaker 2: next night, she said she was getting closer to a

1376
01:01:46,200 --> 01:01:49,720
Speaker 2: decision and that the decision was likely divorced. She told

1377
01:01:49,720 --> 01:01:52,280
Speaker 2: me the divorce no longer scares her and it feels

1378
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:54,520
Speaker 2: like the right thing to do. Changes I've made while

1379
01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:57,240
Speaker 2: working on myself. Since deciding to focus on myself, I

1380
01:01:57,320 --> 01:02:03,120
Speaker 2: made several significant changes. Started working out despite previous exercise resustrictions,

1381
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:06,240
Speaker 2: picking up after myself around the house, leaving my phone

1382
01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:08,000
Speaker 2: in the car when I get home from work, help

1383
01:02:08,080 --> 01:02:10,400
Speaker 2: finish mills as soon as I walk in the door,

1384
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:12,439
Speaker 2: playing with the kids from the moment I get home

1385
01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:14,880
Speaker 2: until bedtime, planning outings for the kids when she is

1386
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:17,560
Speaker 2: welcome to join. Waking up two hours earlier to finish

1387
01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:19,800
Speaker 2: my workout before the kids wake up so I can

1388
01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:22,720
Speaker 2: help wake them up, get ready with them, play with

1389
01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:25,400
Speaker 2: them before leaving for work. Talking to my son two

1390
01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:27,400
Speaker 2: to three days a week on my way to work,

1391
01:02:27,520 --> 01:02:29,520
Speaker 2: staying calm and the kids are fighting. She has told

1392
01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:32,280
Speaker 2: me she's very proud of these changes, saying the house

1393
01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:34,760
Speaker 2: feels different and that the kids aren't fighting as much

1394
01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:37,240
Speaker 2: when I am home, and we will never fight. You

1395
01:02:37,440 --> 01:02:39,960
Speaker 2: if you join us live every weekday at three pm PSD,

1396
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:43,560
Speaker 2: just tap our profile. Where things stand now, we have

1397
01:02:43,640 --> 01:02:46,360
Speaker 2: a two day intervention planned, but I'm afraid she will

1398
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:48,600
Speaker 2: back out before we get there. I'm trying to stay

1399
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:51,240
Speaker 2: grounded and focus on myself, but the mixed signals make

1400
01:02:51,280 --> 01:02:53,320
Speaker 2: it hard not to feel overwhelmed. While I want to

1401
01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:56,080
Speaker 2: lean into the connection, I know that chasing her will

1402
01:02:56,080 --> 01:02:58,920
Speaker 2: push her further away. Does anyone have any success stories

1403
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:01,240
Speaker 2: to give me hope? Any of she liked to share. Yeah,

1404
01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:03,040
Speaker 2: go to fathing therapy.

1405
01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:06,400
Speaker 6: Stop doing things for like, Oh, if I do this,

1406
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:08,200
Speaker 6: it'll benefit the relationship.

1407
01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:10,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, it's such a trade off situation.

1408
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:13,800
Speaker 6: The trade off mindset is not the mindset you wants.

1409
01:03:13,960 --> 01:03:16,880
Speaker 2: It is not enduring. It does not last a long time.

1410
01:03:16,920 --> 01:03:18,600
Speaker 6: You can only do it for so long. Yeah, like

1411
01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:21,000
Speaker 6: the first week that he made the list, Everything's.

1412
01:03:20,640 --> 01:03:22,600
Speaker 2: Fine for a week, for a week, for a week,

1413
01:03:22,640 --> 01:03:24,240
Speaker 2: and she did it for you, not for herself.

1414
01:03:24,360 --> 01:03:26,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think divorce is the best thing.

1415
01:03:26,280 --> 01:03:31,240
Speaker 2: Oh dude, you got too for herself. Mainly as that story.

1416
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:34,600
Speaker 6: My boyfriend's daughter is a spoiled Brett and his mom

1417
01:03:34,720 --> 01:03:35,640
Speaker 6: isn't much better.

1418
01:03:35,800 --> 01:03:36,600
Speaker 2: Two for one.

1419
01:03:36,840 --> 01:03:40,680
Speaker 6: Okay, this is long, so backstory. I thirty one female,

1420
01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:43,240
Speaker 6: was married to an abusive man for eleven years and

1421
01:03:43,320 --> 01:03:46,919
Speaker 6: have three amazing kids eleven female, ten male, and eight male.

1422
01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:49,680
Speaker 6: The divorce was messy, and I met my current boyfriend,

1423
01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:52,080
Speaker 6: thirty five male, a while after we hit it off.

1424
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:54,520
Speaker 6: He has one kid, nine female, and that one was

1425
01:03:54,560 --> 01:03:57,160
Speaker 6: fine with me. At the beginning. I ignored some red flags,

1426
01:03:57,200 --> 01:03:59,320
Speaker 6: thinking it was things we could just work through because

1427
01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:01,000
Speaker 6: he was just so sweet to me and I have

1428
01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:03,200
Speaker 6: never had that before. By the way, this comes from

1429
01:04:03,280 --> 01:04:05,680
Speaker 6: user tired of Life six six' nine on the r

1430
01:04:05,760 --> 01:04:08,160
Speaker 6: slash Ok storytime subpreed. It some of the red flags

1431
01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:10,560
Speaker 6: were that he lives in his mother's, basement which would

1432
01:04:10,560 --> 01:04:12,480
Speaker 6: be fine if it was for financial, reasons but it's.

1433
01:04:12,520 --> 01:04:15,120
Speaker 6: Not he actually just refuses to leave her. House he

1434
01:04:15,240 --> 01:04:17,480
Speaker 6: makes great, money and for the first year of our

1435
01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:20,040
Speaker 6: relationship he made me sleep on the couch because he

1436
01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:22,120
Speaker 6: refused to move his daughter out of his. BED i

1437
01:04:22,160 --> 01:04:24,120
Speaker 6: was fine with that at, first as he promised it would,

1438
01:04:24,200 --> 01:04:26,320
Speaker 6: Change but after a year of sleeping alone on a

1439
01:04:26,320 --> 01:04:28,520
Speaker 6: couch every single, WEEKEND i told HIM i had enough

1440
01:04:28,560 --> 01:04:30,720
Speaker 6: AND i wasn't sleeping there. ANYMORE i have my own

1441
01:04:30,760 --> 01:04:33,200
Speaker 6: apartment THAT i live in alone with my. Kids i'd

1442
01:04:33,280 --> 01:04:35,080
Speaker 6: rather sleep in a bed in a HOME i feel

1443
01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:38,840
Speaker 6: wanted because all of this spicy sleep was so difficult and.

1444
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:41,960
Speaker 6: Awkward he was also constantly canceling our plans and ditching

1445
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:43,960
Speaker 6: me and my, kids but would get mad IF i

1446
01:04:43,960 --> 01:04:46,360
Speaker 6: didn't stay at his house every. WEEKEND i have social,

1447
01:04:46,360 --> 01:04:49,360
Speaker 6: anxiety and having his mom coming downstairs telling him what

1448
01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:51,520
Speaker 6: to do and treating him like a teenager was so

1449
01:04:51,800 --> 01:04:54,640
Speaker 6: nerve wrecking for. Me BUT i kept coming over to see,

1450
01:04:54,680 --> 01:04:55,720
Speaker 6: him OR i wouldn't see him at.

1451
01:04:55,720 --> 01:04:57,560
Speaker 4: All that's.

1452
01:04:57,600 --> 01:05:00,520
Speaker 6: Weird these are blatant red flags that are Not he's a.

1453
01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:01,120
Speaker 2: Homebody.

1454
01:05:01,280 --> 01:05:04,480
Speaker 6: Yeah his mother is also very controlling and. Overbearing she

1455
01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:07,280
Speaker 6: has no sense of personal space or boundaries and has

1456
01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:09,480
Speaker 6: to know where he's going and what he's doing all the.

1457
01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:12,439
Speaker 6: Time she'll also come downstairs and tell how he needs

1458
01:05:12,440 --> 01:05:14,560
Speaker 6: to take care of his. Child he takes care of,

1459
01:05:14,560 --> 01:05:16,600
Speaker 6: her but his mother likes to be the boss of it.

1460
01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:18,520
Speaker 6: All i've tried to get along with, her but can't

1461
01:05:18,520 --> 01:05:21,000
Speaker 6: handle being controlled like a teenager and all her doom

1462
01:05:21,040 --> 01:05:23,960
Speaker 6: and gloom as she's always saying crazy things like don't

1463
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:26,280
Speaker 6: let her get shower water in her. Nose she'll get

1464
01:05:26,320 --> 01:05:29,040
Speaker 6: brad eating on meba and die all, Right and to,

1465
01:05:29,160 --> 01:05:32,000
Speaker 6: me that's just. Crazy his mother and him both are

1466
01:05:32,040 --> 01:05:35,240
Speaker 6: helicopter parents and baby his daughter twenty four to. Seven

1467
01:05:35,320 --> 01:05:37,880
Speaker 6: because of, this she didn't start wiping her own butt

1468
01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:41,280
Speaker 6: after pee or pooh until she was. Nine she refuses

1469
01:05:41,360 --> 01:05:44,640
Speaker 6: to get herself, dressed put her own shoes, on brush

1470
01:05:44,640 --> 01:05:46,600
Speaker 6: her own teeth or, hair or even get up to

1471
01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:48,960
Speaker 6: grab her own water bottle that is sitting right in

1472
01:05:48,960 --> 01:05:50,959
Speaker 6: front of, her and she will demand that everyone else

1473
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:53,160
Speaker 6: do it for. Her oh, no it's not because she,

1474
01:05:53,280 --> 01:05:56,200
Speaker 6: can't it's just because she doesn't want. To there's nothing

1475
01:05:56,240 --> 01:05:58,200
Speaker 6: medically wrong with her preventing her from doing.

1476
01:05:58,320 --> 01:05:59,080
Speaker 4: Anything with.

1477
01:05:59,120 --> 01:06:01,680
Speaker 6: Me having three kids all in the same age range as,

1478
01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:04,160
Speaker 6: HER i know what kids her age can and can't.

1479
01:06:04,240 --> 01:06:06,200
Speaker 6: Do go into the stores with him and his daughter

1480
01:06:06,240 --> 01:06:09,160
Speaker 6: has become SOMETHING i absolutely dread it's a screaming match

1481
01:06:09,160 --> 01:06:12,080
Speaker 6: of her throwing horrendous fits until she gets more and more.

1482
01:06:12,160 --> 01:06:14,439
Speaker 6: TOYS i can't get any of the SHOPPING i want

1483
01:06:14,480 --> 01:06:17,360
Speaker 6: done because of her demanding we go get, toys then

1484
01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:20,160
Speaker 6: demanding we leave after she has. It i've told him

1485
01:06:20,200 --> 01:06:23,120
Speaker 6: this behavior is concerning to, me as it makes everyone,

1486
01:06:23,160 --> 01:06:25,880
Speaker 6: miserable and my kids don't act like, this and neither

1487
01:06:25,920 --> 01:06:28,240
Speaker 6: do other kids her. AGE i expect this behavior from a,

1488
01:06:28,320 --> 01:06:31,000
Speaker 6: todler but not a nine year. Old she online shops

1489
01:06:31,040 --> 01:06:32,240
Speaker 6: all a nine year old's online.

1490
01:06:32,280 --> 01:06:35,040
Speaker 2: Shopping, that's of, course, Dude come, on be, Bad come, on,

1491
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:37,520
Speaker 2: dude get with the. Age oh my, god it's new.

1492
01:06:37,640 --> 01:06:38,560
Speaker 2: Days oh.

1493
01:06:38,680 --> 01:06:41,120
Speaker 6: Gosh she online shops all day, long and as soon

1494
01:06:41,160 --> 01:06:43,000
Speaker 6: as we wake up in the, morning she already has

1495
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:45,280
Speaker 6: pulled up a new toy that she just has to

1496
01:06:45,360 --> 01:06:48,080
Speaker 6: have at that very moment and will demand we go

1497
01:06:48,120 --> 01:06:50,280
Speaker 6: and get. It if he says, no she will throw

1498
01:06:50,320 --> 01:06:53,080
Speaker 6: herself to the floor and throw a hysterical fit until

1499
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:55,880
Speaker 6: he finally, agrees and then she is. Fine that is

1500
01:06:55,920 --> 01:06:58,320
Speaker 6: also terrible. Parenting you're not supposed to tell parents how to.

1501
01:06:58,440 --> 01:07:00,560
Speaker 6: Parent this is not how your. Parent she will do this,

1502
01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:03,000
Speaker 6: too if she wants ice cream for, breakfast, lunch and,

1503
01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:05,880
Speaker 6: dinner and he gives. It the pediatrician has told him

1504
01:07:05,880 --> 01:07:07,760
Speaker 6: that she needs to eat healthier because of her weight

1505
01:07:08,040 --> 01:07:10,280
Speaker 6: and is directly related to her diet of a can

1506
01:07:10,320 --> 01:07:12,880
Speaker 6: of icing for breakfast and then ice cream for, lunch

1507
01:07:13,520 --> 01:07:15,680
Speaker 6: and then six normal sized cupcakes before.

1508
01:07:15,720 --> 01:07:20,000
Speaker 2: Bed oh my, goodness this Is oh my.

1509
01:07:20,080 --> 01:07:23,440
Speaker 6: Gosh if the mom is controlling in this, household why

1510
01:07:23,560 --> 01:07:24,880
Speaker 6: did she doing anything about?

1511
01:07:24,880 --> 01:07:26,280
Speaker 2: This, yeah oh my.

1512
01:07:26,360 --> 01:07:29,720
Speaker 6: Gosh her father and her grandmother have failed. Her him

1513
01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:32,240
Speaker 6: AND i have gotten into arguments about her behavior BECAUSE

1514
01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:34,400
Speaker 6: i will walk away in the stores when she's acting.

1515
01:07:34,480 --> 01:07:36,280
Speaker 6: Up or the time she threw a toy at my

1516
01:07:36,400 --> 01:07:38,640
Speaker 6: face AFTER i told her to stop throwing toys at

1517
01:07:38,680 --> 01:07:39,920
Speaker 6: me and she hit me in the eye with. IT

1518
01:07:39,960 --> 01:07:41,640
Speaker 6: i was, hurt and he got mad at me for being,

1519
01:07:41,720 --> 01:07:45,520
Speaker 6: upset and he comforted her because she was. Crying he

1520
01:07:45,680 --> 01:07:47,960
Speaker 6: dumped me for that. One he's taught her that everything

1521
01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:52,080
Speaker 6: revolves around her and what she. Wants on anyone's, birthday

1522
01:07:52,160 --> 01:07:55,000
Speaker 6: she has to have her own. Cake oh, no if

1523
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:56,760
Speaker 6: she wants to watch THE tv that we are sitting

1524
01:07:56,800 --> 01:07:59,080
Speaker 6: at and, watching we have to get up and let

1525
01:07:59,120 --> 01:08:01,400
Speaker 6: her have. It can only do the things she wants to.

1526
01:08:01,440 --> 01:08:03,640
Speaker 6: Do it's gone to the point where my kids dread

1527
01:08:03,760 --> 01:08:06,200
Speaker 6: her coming over to our house because they have to

1528
01:08:06,360 --> 01:08:09,040
Speaker 6: constantly tiptoe around. Her they don't do what she. Wants

1529
01:08:09,160 --> 01:08:11,520
Speaker 6: she throws a fit and says they are being mean

1530
01:08:11,560 --> 01:08:14,160
Speaker 6: and demands to go, home and of course they. Leave

1531
01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:16,280
Speaker 6: she once stabbed my ten year old in the ear

1532
01:08:16,320 --> 01:08:19,040
Speaker 6: with a glow, stick almost rupturing his ear, drum and

1533
01:08:19,080 --> 01:08:21,840
Speaker 6: she cried and he comforted her and we took her

1534
01:08:21,840 --> 01:08:24,479
Speaker 6: home with no. Apology she is also no stranger to

1535
01:08:24,520 --> 01:08:27,160
Speaker 6: being violent to her, mother hitting, her pulling her, hair

1536
01:08:27,160 --> 01:08:29,479
Speaker 6: and throwing things at her to get her. Way she

1537
01:08:29,640 --> 01:08:32,120
Speaker 6: isn't therapy because her mother got tired of it and

1538
01:08:32,160 --> 01:08:34,599
Speaker 6: the therapist told them it's all behavioral to get what

1539
01:08:34,640 --> 01:08:36,439
Speaker 6: she wants and there's nothing wrong with.

1540
01:08:36,479 --> 01:08:37,400
Speaker 3: Her she is just.

1541
01:08:37,680 --> 01:08:39,599
Speaker 6: SPOILED i told him some of this needs to get

1542
01:08:39,600 --> 01:08:41,479
Speaker 6: fixed before we move in with each. Other and he

1543
01:08:41,520 --> 01:08:44,240
Speaker 6: will say there's nothing wrong with her and then say

1544
01:08:44,360 --> 01:08:45,519
Speaker 6: he promises he will fix.

1545
01:08:45,560 --> 01:08:48,960
Speaker 2: Things there's that's such an empty. Promise this is not. Good, no,

1546
01:08:48,960 --> 01:08:51,160
Speaker 2: no no. No and also my, rule if you want

1547
01:08:51,200 --> 01:08:52,479
Speaker 2: to get with someone and you wanna have, kids with

1548
01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:55,400
Speaker 2: them and live. Alive imagine a many them becoming a.

1549
01:08:55,439 --> 01:08:57,640
Speaker 2: Person imagine if they have, kids they will grow up

1550
01:08:57,680 --> 01:08:59,640
Speaker 2: to be that. Person would you want that person to be?

1551
01:08:59,680 --> 01:09:02,600
Speaker 6: Around, no not this. Guy, no his mother is just

1552
01:09:02,640 --> 01:09:04,720
Speaker 6: as bad as. Him has gotten fed up with, it

1553
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:08,040
Speaker 6: to the point of almost kicking them out twice because

1554
01:09:08,040 --> 01:09:09,880
Speaker 6: of how bad it, got just because she didn't feel

1555
01:09:09,920 --> 01:09:12,800
Speaker 6: like going to. School, no she isn't being, bullied she's

1556
01:09:12,840 --> 01:09:15,360
Speaker 6: not being. Abused she's learned she can get her way

1557
01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:18,439
Speaker 6: by acting like. THIS i reach my limit this, weekend.

1558
01:09:18,439 --> 01:09:20,519
Speaker 6: THOUGH i just had surgery and was home with my

1559
01:09:20,560 --> 01:09:22,880
Speaker 6: eleven year old daughter and her. Friend they were helping

1560
01:09:22,880 --> 01:09:25,120
Speaker 6: me WHILE i, recovered and he wanted to come spend

1561
01:09:25,120 --> 01:09:27,639
Speaker 6: it time with. ME i love the idea of struggling. Him,

1562
01:09:27,880 --> 01:09:29,840
Speaker 6: WELL i didn't feel. Good they get here and my

1563
01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:31,880
Speaker 6: daughter and her friend try and see if she wants

1564
01:09:31,960 --> 01:09:34,240
Speaker 6: to play with, them but she. Refuses she just wanted

1565
01:09:34,240 --> 01:09:36,760
Speaker 6: to sit and play with the. Cats that's. Fine at one,

1566
01:09:36,760 --> 01:09:38,920
Speaker 6: Point i'm upstairs and my daughter and her friend are

1567
01:09:38,960 --> 01:09:41,160
Speaker 6: in the kitchen getting food and one of my cat's

1568
01:09:41,200 --> 01:09:43,800
Speaker 6: claws got stuck on a toy and his daughter just

1569
01:09:43,880 --> 01:09:44,240
Speaker 6: yanked it.

1570
01:09:44,280 --> 01:09:44,479
Speaker 1: Off.

1571
01:09:44,960 --> 01:09:46,920
Speaker 3: Hard oh, no, no, no, no, no no.

1572
01:09:46,920 --> 01:09:48,200
Speaker 2: NO i don't want to. KNOW i don't want to.

1573
01:09:48,240 --> 01:09:49,080
Speaker 2: KNOW i don't want to.

1574
01:09:49,120 --> 01:09:51,559
Speaker 6: Know my daughter and her friend both told her to

1575
01:09:51,640 --> 01:09:54,160
Speaker 6: please be careful because she could hurt the cat doing.

1576
01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:56,320
Speaker 6: That she stops her foot at them and tells THEM

1577
01:09:56,360 --> 01:09:58,320
Speaker 6: i didn't do it. Hard then stop to her dad

1578
01:09:58,360 --> 01:10:00,000
Speaker 6: and told him to come upstairs and talk to. Her

1579
01:10:00,120 --> 01:10:02,120
Speaker 6: my daughter tells me what, happened AND i go into

1580
01:10:02,120 --> 01:10:04,799
Speaker 6: my room to find her rolling and kicking on the, floor,

1581
01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:07,439
Speaker 6: crying saying that the friend was mean to her and

1582
01:10:07,520 --> 01:10:09,920
Speaker 6: was demanding to go. Home i'd reached my limit with

1583
01:10:09,920 --> 01:10:12,240
Speaker 6: the nonsense at this point and told them both how

1584
01:10:12,280 --> 01:10:15,680
Speaker 6: absolutely ridiculous this. Was we couldn't do anything without her

1585
01:10:15,720 --> 01:10:17,880
Speaker 6: throwing some sort of a. Fit we went to the apple,

1586
01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:21,240
Speaker 6: orchards she complained the whole, time went gem, mining and

1587
01:10:21,280 --> 01:10:23,160
Speaker 6: she screamed in the car for thirty minutes straight because

1588
01:10:23,200 --> 01:10:26,120
Speaker 6: she didn't want to eat At zaxby's even though she chose.

1589
01:10:26,160 --> 01:10:28,880
Speaker 6: It no matter what we, do she is always throwing

1590
01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:31,559
Speaker 6: a fit over, everything AND i just needed to, relax

1591
01:10:31,600 --> 01:10:33,800
Speaker 6: AND i was recovering from. SURGERY i did not want

1592
01:10:33,840 --> 01:10:36,639
Speaker 6: to hear any more of. It she kept, lying saying

1593
01:10:36,680 --> 01:10:38,559
Speaker 6: that they were being mean and didn't want to play with,

1594
01:10:38,600 --> 01:10:41,400
Speaker 6: her even though they asked her multiple. Times he AND

1595
01:10:41,439 --> 01:10:43,559
Speaker 6: i both heard, it and she just kept. Lying SO

1596
01:10:43,720 --> 01:10:45,840
Speaker 6: i told HIM i was. DONE i couldn't handle it.

1597
01:10:45,840 --> 01:10:48,040
Speaker 6: Anymore it's not fair to meet or my kids.

1598
01:10:47,800 --> 01:10:48,400
Speaker 4: To have to deal with.

1599
01:10:48,479 --> 01:10:50,960
Speaker 6: This kids aren't supposed to be, perfect but it did

1600
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:53,599
Speaker 6: not be this. Extreme twenty four to. SEVEN i tried

1601
01:10:53,640 --> 01:10:55,360
Speaker 6: talking to her and she wouldn't listen to, me AND

1602
01:10:55,400 --> 01:10:57,400
Speaker 6: i told him this is What i'm talking. ABOUT i

1603
01:10:57,439 --> 01:10:59,280
Speaker 6: can't even talk to, her and he told her to

1604
01:10:59,320 --> 01:11:02,040
Speaker 6: listen or he was grounded from her Tablet her, response

1605
01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:05,479
Speaker 6: how LONG i was? DONE i told them they could.

1606
01:11:05,520 --> 01:11:08,240
Speaker 6: Leave she went downstairs and told my daughter this is

1607
01:11:08,320 --> 01:11:11,040
Speaker 6: all your. Fault they are breaking up because of, you

1608
01:11:11,400 --> 01:11:13,800
Speaker 6: and my daughter had no idea what was even going.

1609
01:11:13,880 --> 01:11:16,200
Speaker 6: On they. Left he was mad at me and Said

1610
01:11:16,240 --> 01:11:19,080
Speaker 6: i'm abandoning him and not staying by his side two.

1611
01:11:19,200 --> 01:11:21,519
Speaker 6: Years i've given him two years to work on things

1612
01:11:21,520 --> 01:11:23,479
Speaker 6: and he. Hasn't how much longer WAS i supposed to?

1613
01:11:23,520 --> 01:11:25,479
Speaker 6: Wait how much more stress WAS i supposed to take

1614
01:11:25,640 --> 01:11:28,760
Speaker 6: while dealing with cancer scares and chronic health. Problems why

1615
01:11:28,840 --> 01:11:30,800
Speaker 6: is it on me to just take it and deal

1616
01:11:30,840 --> 01:11:33,040
Speaker 6: with his? Problems but you know, what we don't have

1617
01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:35,000
Speaker 6: any problems. Here you could just join us live three

1618
01:11:35,040 --> 01:11:38,360
Speaker 6: PM pst every. Weekday just have the profile. Through this

1619
01:11:38,439 --> 01:11:41,880
Speaker 6: kid needs a reality, check oh h. Fast BUT i don't.

1620
01:11:41,880 --> 01:11:44,120
Speaker 6: Know this man. Sucks the kid really.

1621
01:11:44,160 --> 01:11:44,760
Speaker 2: Sucks oh.

1622
01:11:44,880 --> 01:11:46,599
Speaker 6: Yeah IF i had to, Say i'd be, like send

1623
01:11:46,600 --> 01:11:48,680
Speaker 6: her to boarding. SCHOOL i, mean what is therapy to

1624
01:11:48,720 --> 01:11:49,080
Speaker 6: do for this?

1625
01:11:49,120 --> 01:11:49,880
Speaker 2: GIRL i don't, know.

1626
01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:52,000
Speaker 6: DUDE i MEAN i would try therapy, first, OBVIOUSLY.

1627
01:11:51,680 --> 01:11:53,639
Speaker 2: I don't think they could afford. It it's just sad

1628
01:11:53,680 --> 01:11:55,400
Speaker 2: the lack of accountability they have with this.

1629
01:11:55,479 --> 01:11:58,519
Speaker 6: Kid on the kid and on. Him the boyfriend is

1630
01:11:58,560 --> 01:12:00,800
Speaker 6: defending it and is just making an excuse for us

1631
01:12:00,840 --> 01:12:02,320
Speaker 6: for it and pointing the finger at everybody.

1632
01:12:02,320 --> 01:12:03,840
Speaker 2: Else i'll he's still with this.

1633
01:12:03,840 --> 01:12:07,080
Speaker 6: GUY i don't see the reason, why especially with the

1634
01:12:07,120 --> 01:12:10,840
Speaker 6: medical treatments and all that. Stuff i've tried helping. Him

1635
01:12:11,080 --> 01:12:13,519
Speaker 6: i've tried talking to, him and he refuses to see

1636
01:12:13,720 --> 01:12:16,599
Speaker 6: any issue in his. Child but why should everyone else

1637
01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:20,120
Speaker 6: around be miserable because he can't teach his child the Word?

1638
01:12:20,240 --> 01:12:22,639
Speaker 6: No it sucks because him AND i were a perfect.

1639
01:12:22,640 --> 01:12:25,000
Speaker 6: Match BUT i just can't keep doing. It there's so

1640
01:12:25,080 --> 01:12:27,960
Speaker 6: much more to, this so many more, problems not just his.

1641
01:12:28,040 --> 01:12:30,600
Speaker 6: Kid and, NO i don't hate his. KID i hate his.

1642
01:12:30,680 --> 01:12:34,000
Speaker 6: KID i tried helping, him tried helping. HER i try

1643
01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:35,760
Speaker 6: to be nice and teach her crafts and treat her

1644
01:12:35,840 --> 01:12:38,200
Speaker 6: like my. Own she is a, Kid BUT i can't

1645
01:12:38,240 --> 01:12:41,200
Speaker 6: keep doing. This and his mom she believes stepparents aren't

1646
01:12:41,200 --> 01:12:44,040
Speaker 6: real parents and THINKS i parent wrong because my kids

1647
01:12:44,040 --> 01:12:47,000
Speaker 6: can dress themselves and help clean up their. Messes so

1648
01:12:47,080 --> 01:12:49,240
Speaker 6: AM i a whole for giving? Up because he's making

1649
01:12:49,240 --> 01:12:50,040
Speaker 6: me THINK i?

1650
01:12:50,120 --> 01:12:53,360
Speaker 2: Am, nah you just found your breaking, point, man and

1651
01:12:53,439 --> 01:12:54,880
Speaker 2: everyone has a breaking point with these.

1652
01:12:54,920 --> 01:12:57,519
Speaker 6: Things if there's nothing being, Changed if you've already talked

1653
01:12:57,520 --> 01:13:00,680
Speaker 6: about the situation and what the issue, is and you

1654
01:13:00,720 --> 01:13:02,599
Speaker 6: are setting a good example for your kids and they

1655
01:13:02,640 --> 01:13:06,439
Speaker 6: see that as bad, parenting, yeah, done before you break things.

1656
01:13:06,439 --> 01:13:09,160
Speaker 6: OFF i would definitely like tell him it's going to

1657
01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:12,920
Speaker 6: get so much worse with you and your. Daughter, yeah

1658
01:13:12,920 --> 01:13:14,519
Speaker 6: to the point it's gonna be very very, bad and

1659
01:13:14,520 --> 01:13:16,280
Speaker 6: she's gonna be very. Lonely she's gonna have no.

1660
01:13:16,320 --> 01:13:19,040
Speaker 2: Friends oh, yeah, no, no ostracized her whole.

1661
01:13:19,040 --> 01:13:21,200
Speaker 6: LIFE i mean she's brought upon. Herself it's gonna get way.

1662
01:13:21,240 --> 01:13:23,120
Speaker 6: Worse you don't want. That you want your daughter to

1663
01:13:23,360 --> 01:13:25,120
Speaker 6: live a good. LIFE i would give him like a,

1664
01:13:25,200 --> 01:13:26,280
Speaker 6: flyer like child.

1665
01:13:26,320 --> 01:13:29,720
Speaker 2: Therapy, yeah kid does deserve. This the kid deserves the accountability

1666
01:13:29,720 --> 01:13:32,439
Speaker 2: and you, know like a good. Parent let's see that.

1667
01:13:32,600 --> 01:13:34,600
Speaker 2: Story if you love, us make sure to.

1668
01:13:34,640 --> 01:13:36,880
Speaker 6: Subscribe we love you more than we love that, kid

1669
01:13:37,080 --> 01:13:37,880
Speaker 6: and we'll see you.

1670
01:13:37,920 --> 01:15:40,479
Speaker 2: Tomorrow yousssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss