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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story

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Speaker 1: time podcast host. Oh yeah, we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we get a teeny two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like

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Speaker 2: a little house.

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Speaker 3: My mother insists I invite strangers to my wedding because

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Speaker 3: a ghost told her to.

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Speaker 1: Ghost told me this morning.

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Speaker 4: Ghost. My ghost told me this morning.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you should listen to it might be more fun.

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Speaker 4: That's true.

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Speaker 3: Also trigger warning for mental health discussions and death. So

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Speaker 3: I twenty eight female and my fiance Bjorn.

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Speaker 1: That's the name.

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Speaker 4: Isn't that the singer?

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Speaker 1: That's a very that's a name.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I said, like your singer. Yeah, I agree, you.

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Speaker 1: Don't know Swedish people. I don't sawry Swedish people.

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Speaker 3: Twenty seven male are getting married May thirty first, twenty

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Speaker 3: twenty five.

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Speaker 4: We are very excited.

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Speaker 3: We're currently hurrying to plan and arrange everything. In the

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Speaker 3: four short months four short months we have left at

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Speaker 3: Mastersburg in law schools have been kicking our butts and

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Speaker 3: making planning everything impossible. Things have been largely, but not entirely,

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Speaker 3: drama free until now. So I thought I would get

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Speaker 3: away just being able to laugh at other people's stories.

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Speaker 4: Ooh, how naive I was?

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Speaker 1: Oh, it happened to you.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Okay job three nine

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Speaker 3: seven eight, And if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 3: go to our slash Okay storytime. Separate it so all

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Speaker 3: names are fake and apologies in advance for any spelling errors.

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Speaker 4: I'm very dyslexic. Yay some context.

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Speaker 3: My mother, let's call her mother, has been a bit weird,

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Speaker 3: my entire life, being hyper health conscious, really into snake

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Speaker 3: oil medicines, superstitiously religious, and overall difficult to predict and

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Speaker 3: get along with for the entirety of my memory.

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Speaker 4: Sounds like a voodoo doctor.

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Speaker 3: It became clear that all of this was due to

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Speaker 3: an undiagnosed mental health condition. In twenty twenty one, after

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Speaker 3: a very traumatic few months of chaos, she was involuntarily

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Speaker 3: committed and she was diagnosed with bipolar one with psychotic elements.

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Speaker 1: But the more snakeli you drink less you have to.

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Speaker 4: Worry about You're just closer to passing away.

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Speaker 3: I guess now your life is shorter, so you have

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Speaker 3: to worry about it for a shorter amount of period.

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Speaker 1: There we go.

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Speaker 3: It became clear at that point that she has been

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Speaker 3: having delusions for many, many years, and that this was

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Speaker 3: the source of her weird behaviors.

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Speaker 4: Whatever else I say.

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Speaker 3: I know that while she is indeed a bit of

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Speaker 3: a Karen on her own, a lot of that is

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Speaker 3: exacerbated by her condition. So be gentle in the comments.

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Speaker 3: I still love my mama, even if she does occasionally

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Speaker 3: drive me crazy. That fact, however, doesn't mean that she

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Speaker 3: isn't still often a Karen and the center of drama

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Speaker 3: and funny stories, one of which is actively in development

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Speaker 3: right now.

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Speaker 1: You know, actively in development. You're at Goms.

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Speaker 5: So the title says, a ghost told my mom that

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Speaker 5: I absolutely needed to invite two young women that are

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Speaker 5: practically strangers to me to my wedding.

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Speaker 3: Who are these strangers? Well, let me tell you backstory.

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Speaker 4: Yay, many years ago, when I was just a child,

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Speaker 4: I was off and babysat by a family friend of ours,

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Speaker 4: let's call her Tina.

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Speaker 3: Tina had six children, and I became friends with two

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Speaker 3: of her girls, Martha and Dot. Miss Tino was married

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Speaker 3: to a police officer, Pat, who we found out many

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Speaker 3: years later was.

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Speaker 4: Violent and abusive towards her.

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Speaker 3: Oh. She divorced him and left with her children when

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Speaker 3: I was a teenager. Yay, at this point I had

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Speaker 3: already stopped spending time with Martha and Dot. Really we

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Speaker 3: were friends of circumstance because their mom used to babysitting.

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Speaker 3: When I got old enough not to need babysitting, around eleven,

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Speaker 3: we also stopped spending time together eleven.

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Speaker 4: What about eleven?

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Speaker 1: Oh that's a good point, but that's whenever you don't.

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Speaker 4: Need well, roughly, yeah, I started. I started babysitting at twelve.

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Speaker 3: That's when you become like whoa you switch from like

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Speaker 3: camper to camp counselor twelve.

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Speaker 1: Well, I think my brothers can take care of themselves. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, all right, I just think that's young. I

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Speaker 1: don't know why.

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Speaker 4: Well, no, I feel like it. It depends on you

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Speaker 4: to be a teenager.

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Speaker 3: Then I think some some parents will wait until their

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Speaker 3: kids are like, you know, fourteen or something.

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Speaker 1: I'm just imagining talking to twelve year old Sofia, I know,

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Speaker 1: and I don't even know what that looks.

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Speaker 6: Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson, Harwotter.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I had a hobby.

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Speaker 1: Am I wrong? Am I wrong?

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Speaker 4: Though?

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Speaker 1: Am I wrong?

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Speaker 3: What's a television I hadn't really kept up with their

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Speaker 3: family until tragedy struck during my freshman year of college.

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Speaker 3: Miss Tina, oh, my gosh, had been unalive by her

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Speaker 3: ex husband in broad daylight with their seven year old

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Speaker 3: in the car.

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Speaker 1: That's pretty funny.

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Speaker 3: It was horrible and for months I grieve this kind

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Speaker 3: lady that had taken such good care of me.

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Speaker 4: That's awful.

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Speaker 3: The next time I saw Martha and Dott was at

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Speaker 3: their mother's funeral. We hugged, we wept, and we went

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Speaker 3: our separate ways. That was nine years ago. We haven't

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Speaker 3: seen or spoken to each other before or since. Oh

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Speaker 3: and back to the current day today, what a.

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Speaker 4: Royal like this happened?

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Speaker 1: Anyway, she was murdered in her car. This is pretty

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Speaker 1: ghost though.

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Speaker 4: I like, if you told me that, dude, like trauma

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Speaker 4: ghost story, that's really awful.

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Speaker 1: You tell me this around a campfire, I'm terrified. I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: broad daylight. Also, don't say broad daylight, do like it

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Speaker 1: was rainy mercury midnight.

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Speaker 4: This is a true story.

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Speaker 1: I was hoping for a ghost story. I need more ghosts.

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Speaker 6: Okayways, well still serve aren't I'm going ghost I'm so

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Speaker 6: sorry for your your loss, Sophie, but you did really

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Speaker 6: just kind of switch back into you were like, ah, you.

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Speaker 3: Even included THEO wu scz Opie did add a trigger warning.

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Speaker 3: We just added our own trigger warning, and so I

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Speaker 3: didn't reread their trigger warning.

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Speaker 1: I'll put it in.

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Speaker 3: The trigger warning was that we were the First thing

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Speaker 3: in the morning, I received a cryptic text from my

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Speaker 3: mother that there was a very important matter she needed

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Speaker 3: to discuss with me. Not being of the constitution or

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Speaker 3: mood to entertain such vague grease, I pressed her to

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Speaker 3: at least give me a topic of discussion, though she

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Speaker 3: did not want to give me specifics over the phone.

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Speaker 3: She eventually let me know that.

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Speaker 4: She sometimes receives messages from the deceased and that she

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Speaker 4: had received a task that she needed my help with.

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Speaker 4: It was very ominous.

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Speaker 3: You can imagine the depth of pucker my a hole

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Speaker 3: what took on when I realized that my mom had

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Speaker 3: been hearing voices again, and that it had evidently been

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Speaker 3: going on for some time now. My mom doesn't realize

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Speaker 3: that the calls are coming from inside the house, so

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Speaker 3: to speak, or at least she chooses not to believe

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Speaker 3: that they are in fact, she firmly believes that she

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Speaker 3: is the Catholic Catholic guest Catholic lady to ever Catholic,

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Speaker 3: and that she is, of course holier enough than now

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Speaker 3: to have been gifted with the ability to see visions

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Speaker 3: and dream dreams and hear the voice of God and

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Speaker 3: the angels. While she hangs out in the living room, Dude,

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Speaker 3: I feel like the more religious that you are, the

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Speaker 3: more receptive you would be to you know, this is true,

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Speaker 3: to believing in this, you know, ghosts and and all

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Speaker 3: that stuff, because it's already close.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been around people that can hear the Holy

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Speaker 1: Spirit and they're like pretty pretty tight.

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Speaker 4: With them, pretty tight, pretty tight. So like, how do

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Speaker 4: you you know?

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Speaker 3: It's like if you're if you believe in that already,

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Speaker 3: it would probably be a harder jump to make.

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Speaker 4: And then my thought process is it's actually a mental

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Speaker 4: health Why.

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Speaker 1: If you're if you're around that and you believe in

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Speaker 1: the spiritual warfare, why are you opening yourself up to

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Speaker 1: that stuff? What are we doing well?

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Speaker 4: I mean, she's clearly mentally ill.

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Speaker 1: So it's like, really like don't like you don't need

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Speaker 1: to do that, girl, You're good.

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Speaker 4: She needs a therapistess, she needs psychiatric help.

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Speaker 1: Man.

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Speaker 3: To be clear, I am also Catholic, and I love

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Speaker 3: my faith, and I do believe that there is a

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Speaker 3: supernatural side to the world. I also just don't believe

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Speaker 3: that my mother has any access to it, considering the

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Speaker 3: most of the holiest saints were never gifted with visions,

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Speaker 3: and she is anything other than holy or saintly think

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Speaker 3: very charming but very judgmental old church lady. Well, apparently

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Speaker 3: miss Tina has been telling her that Martha and Dodd

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Speaker 3: have lost their way and that my mother must intervene.

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Speaker 3: How does she know this Why?

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Speaker 4: Facebook?

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Speaker 3: Of course, what's actually happening is that she has seen

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Speaker 3: them posting on Facebook and doesn't approve of their lifestyle.

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Speaker 3: So now her delusions are giving her an excuse to

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Speaker 3: insert herself.

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Speaker 1: Ooh, so what does she make about their lifestyle and

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Speaker 1: an opinion? And if you have an opinion, what do

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Speaker 1: you do with it? Keep to yourself, exactly, keep it

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Speaker 1: to yourself.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, except she doesn't want to insert herself. She wants

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Speaker 3: to insert me. Specifically, she wants me to rekindle our

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Speaker 3: friendship that ended when I was about eleven years old.

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Speaker 3: More specifically, she wants me to invite them to my

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Speaker 3: wedding in four months. How I mean again, this woman

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Speaker 3: clearly has like many mental health issues. But how just

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Speaker 3: awful would it be if Opie does invite these girls

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Speaker 3: to her wedding and then her mom goes and kind

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Speaker 3: of like it, goes over to them and is like, Oh,

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Speaker 3: your mother who passed away very violently told me that

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Speaker 3: she doesn't approve of your lifestyle.

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Speaker 4: Like that would be so awful. Change like, definitely, do

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Speaker 4: not invite these girls to your wedding because your mom's

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Speaker 4: going to you know, or traumatize them.

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Speaker 1: Hell Mary, Mama be saving their lives or.

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Speaker 4: We actually thought about that. There is a ghost now.

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Speaker 3: Of course I told her no, I don't know these

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Speaker 3: women at all at this point. I haven't opened to

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Speaker 3: them in almost twenty years. I have no reason to

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Speaker 3: invite them to my wedding, and.

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Speaker 4: They have no reason to come.

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Speaker 3: More than that, we already have too many people between

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Speaker 3: Bjorn's normal sized American family, my gigantic Cuban family, and

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Speaker 3: the few friends we were able to squeeze in were

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Speaker 3: at one hundred and forty people we only wanted like

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Speaker 3: seventy five. But my parents offered to help us pay

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Speaker 3: so that they could invite more of the family, because family,

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Speaker 3: I guess family.

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Speaker 1: Fam n that's furious family.

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Speaker 3: Whatever they're paying for it, so it honestly is fine. However,

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Speaker 3: as generous as their being, and they are being very generous,

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Speaker 3: the economy and weddings being what they are, the venues

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Speaker 3: we can afford are rather small, and one forty really

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Speaker 3: is the cap of people we can invite. So if

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Speaker 3: I invite Martha and Dott they will have nowhere to sit,

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Speaker 3: as well as we will be capacity. I told her

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Speaker 3: both things. When she demanded to know why, My immediate

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Speaker 3: response was a firm no. First, she had insisted that

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Speaker 3: we had been good friends and hung out on a

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Speaker 3: regular basis. She would be correct about that, except for

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Speaker 3: a critical detail that the regular basis was specifically when

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Speaker 3: our parents were either at church or doing something church

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Speaker 3: related together. Also, again, our friendship had not survived my

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Speaker 3: need to be actively supervised. Oh, so I wouldn't harm myself.

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Speaker 3: She then asked if she could replace two family members,

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Speaker 3: her aunt and uncle that she had insisted I invite

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Speaker 3: with these two young women.

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Speaker 4: So she just keeps adding more people. She's like.

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Speaker 3: I also first, I need to invite these two girls

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Speaker 3: because their mom is a message for them, and also

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Speaker 3: your aunt and uncle, just because I've got some other

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Speaker 3: messages I've got to pass on. It's kind of like

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Speaker 3: a back order voicemail type situation.

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Speaker 1: Did everyone there in one place? So I can just

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Speaker 1: go ahead and let them know.

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Speaker 4: I think. Also, my mosseuse is gonna come.

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Speaker 1: My dog walker, Yeah, go ahead and add him in there.

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Speaker 1: I got a message for him.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Now, I have already sent out the save the dates,

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Speaker 3: and though I haven't sent out the invitations yet, I

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Speaker 3: know I'm running out of time. I'm working on it.

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Speaker 3: I can't just not send in invitation at this point, though,

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Speaker 3: as they may have gotten flights and hotels already, they

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Speaker 3: live in another state.

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Speaker 1: We're also I'm so sorry. Yes, the way she's handing

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Speaker 1: out like these, like I have messages for you, it

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Speaker 1: feels like The Godfather. I haven't seen someone in The

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Speaker 1: Godfather first scene. It's coming here I've seen, so it

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Speaker 1: feels like the same thing. Yeah. So it's like the

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Speaker 1: daughter's wedding and what.

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Speaker 4: People can do so utopia. I mean, I see, I

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Speaker 4: know you're talking about, but that's really that's pretty much.

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Speaker 1: That's pretty much it. Yeah, it's the scene the wedding's

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Speaker 1: happening and people come to the guy, the father and

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Speaker 1: is like asking favors coming here the day of my

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Speaker 1: daughter's wedding, day of my daughter's wedding, and they ask

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Speaker 1: for like, you know whatever, and no granted in a worship.

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Speaker 1: This feels like that.

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Speaker 3: It feels like she's gonna get like she's got a

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Speaker 3: little notebook a full of messages from like the beyond,

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Speaker 3: and she's like, line up, and I hope he's actively

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Speaker 3: getting married. And she's like, I'm just gonna be over

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Speaker 3: the corner.

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Speaker 4: Don't buy me. You won't even hear me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how it goes.

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Speaker 4: Thanks. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Also, I'm want to do that my daughter's wedding. But

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Speaker 1: three you're just handing up what do you want? What

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Speaker 1: do you want me to three D print?

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Speaker 3: Here, I'm going to learn some sort of craft and

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Speaker 3: I'm just going to like set up a little craft

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Speaker 3: in the corner.

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Speaker 4: You already have like balloon animals.

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Speaker 1: I do before we go through with the story, do

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Speaker 1: you guys believe in ghost I don't.

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Speaker 4: I know you do.

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Speaker 1: Yes, in a way, I believe in the spiritual warfare

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Speaker 1: that people go through.

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Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, I am an all right non believer.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm skeptic. The only thing that I am superstitious

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Speaker 3: about is knocking on wood because my mom.

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Speaker 1: Always does it.

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Speaker 4: She's really instilled in me.

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Speaker 1: Are you knock on wood?

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Speaker 4: But anyway, we've got more story to read.

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Speaker 3: So that's what I told my mom, and that I

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Speaker 3: would need them to RSVP. No before I could say

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Speaker 3: that their seats were empty, she responded that they had

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Speaker 3: told her that they weren't coming, and that the invitation

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Speaker 3: was just a courtesy, and therefore.

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Speaker 4: I could use those two spots for other people.

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Speaker 3: Wait, oh what, so this is the mom already invited

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Speaker 3: these two girls.

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Speaker 4: Weird, that's what it seems like.

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Speaker 1: Weird.

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Speaker 4: Now, well, my mother is a bit confused.

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Speaker 3: I know full well that it is that this is

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Speaker 3: not United Airlines flight number five three one two five,

312
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Speaker 3: and that over selling seats is very much against policy.

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Speaker 3: So I responded that I was not going to just

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Speaker 3: assume they were not coming. I was going to send

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Speaker 3: the invitation that again she had insisted I send, and

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Speaker 3: then I was going to wait for the RSVP. My

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00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:25,680
Speaker 3: mom responded that they had told her they were not coming. Now,

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Speaker 3: I have been in many of these, he said. She

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00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:31,560
Speaker 3: said situations before where communication through a middleman goes wrong

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00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,320
Speaker 3: and everyone ends up confused, in people you didn't expect

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Speaker 3: to end up where you didn't expect them. Given that

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Speaker 3: and the aforementioned fact that this is not a United

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Speaker 3: Airlines flight, I have been extremely insistent that I hear

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Speaker 3: directly from guests if they want to be taken off

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Speaker 3: any lists, or if they want an RSVP anything for anything,

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Speaker 3: a fact which I reiterated to her in the moment,

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Speaker 3: and that if her aunt and uncle RSVP no with me,

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Speaker 3: then yes, their spots would technically be empty. But I

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Speaker 3: was not just going to take her word for it. Okay,

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Speaker 3: So to Claire, I understand, now it seems like it's

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Speaker 3: not the two girls that had already said they were,

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Speaker 3: you know, uh, talk to it's Opie's mom talked to

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00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:12,440
Speaker 3: the aunt and uncle and already kind of invited them

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Speaker 3: and they already said no. But Opie's like, no, I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna RSVP or I'm gonna make them RSVP so they

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Speaker 3: don't just show up.

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Speaker 4: And I'm like, not, I see, that's what it seems like.

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Speaker 4: It's happening.

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Speaker 3: Well, that was my first mistake, because how dare I

340
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Speaker 3: not trust her to give me accurate information and to

341
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Speaker 3: disbelieve her when I only know these people through her

342
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Speaker 3: and they talked to her and they.

343
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Speaker 4: Told her that they aren't coming.

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Speaker 3: Apparently, in my desire to do things a certain way

345
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Speaker 3: in order to preserve my own sanity and avoid avoidable

346
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:47,160
Speaker 3: issues is controlling, which, yes, yes it is, and I'm

347
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,080
Speaker 3: fine with it. You're allowed to be controlling because.

348
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Speaker 4: It's your wedding.

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Speaker 1: Yep, you get picked that day, that's your.

350
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Speaker 4: Day, Jolly Toaster says.

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Speaker 3: The mom insisted that the aunt and uncle get invited

352
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Speaker 3: previously and was planning to replace them with the two girls. Oh,

353
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Speaker 3: without confirming whether the aunt and uncle were coming.

354
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Speaker 1: God got you, thank you. We have two spots, yes,

355
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Speaker 1: RSVP them. Oh they can't make it, will just fight

356
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Speaker 1: those girls.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And so she's.

358
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Speaker 3: Saying, oh, I can't okay, So basically it's just assuming

359
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,760
Speaker 3: that the aunt an uncle can't really make it. But

360
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,040
Speaker 3: ohp He's like, no, I don't want four people to

361
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:20,800
Speaker 3: show up, so let's double check. I see, and I'm

362
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,000
Speaker 3: fine with that. This is my wedding. And short of

363
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,680
Speaker 3: being a bridezilla. I will be as controlling as necessary

364
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:30,000
Speaker 3: to ensure that things go smoothly and there are no miscommunications.

365
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,840
Speaker 3: I have no wedding planner, It's just me. Therefore, everything

366
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,560
Speaker 3: needs to go through me and no one else going forward,

367
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:37,720
Speaker 3: and I am completely okay with that.

368
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:41,400
Speaker 4: Being okay with being controlling was, of course my second mistake.

369
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,960
Speaker 3: Why because this is not my wedding, but merely a

370
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,280
Speaker 3: wedding in the family at which I happened to be

371
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,960
Speaker 3: getting married. Yes, I did point out that my mother

372
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,120
Speaker 3: had just described my wedding. Then she shouted that I

373
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Speaker 3: told her months ago that she could invite an extra

374
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,960
Speaker 3: ten to fifteen people, and that now I.

375
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Speaker 4: Was going back on my word.

376
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:04,520
Speaker 3: Oh, a wild accusation, as I had never said any

377
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,400
Speaker 3: such thing. She probably got that in a message though, Yeah,

378
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:10,040
Speaker 3: you probably heard that from the voice of God versus

379
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:11,479
Speaker 3: the voices beyond.

380
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, She's like, sorry, so I must have gotten that

381
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:15,160
Speaker 4: mixed up.

382
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Speaker 1: Oh that was meant for so much.

383
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:16,880
Speaker 4: Yeah.

384
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,960
Speaker 3: Even checked with my dad, who was present at the conversations,

385
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,600
Speaker 3: and he agreed that I never said any such thing.

386
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:24,840
Speaker 4: What I had said was that I needed.

387
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Speaker 3: To know who they my parents wanted to invite though

388
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,800
Speaker 3: that I could have a head count while looking for venues.

389
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:31,919
Speaker 3: They said it would be no more than ten to

390
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,399
Speaker 3: fifteen people. It was way more than that, and I

391
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:37,480
Speaker 3: had told them that they needed to give me named

392
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,359
Speaker 3: people that I had had interactions with within the past

393
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Speaker 3: ten years.

394
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:42,959
Speaker 1: We go debragm debragam.

395
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Speaker 4: They gave me the names.

396
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:48,120
Speaker 3: At that point, I asked them repeatedly if that was everyone.

397
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:51,359
Speaker 3: They both repeatedly responded yes. I told them at the

398
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,840
Speaker 3: time that this was their last chance, as I was

399
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,080
Speaker 3: going to send out save the dates and I did

400
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:57,920
Speaker 3: not want to edit the guest list any further.

401
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,000
Speaker 4: At that point, they both responded that there was no

402
00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:00,480
Speaker 4: one else.

403
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,719
Speaker 3: They even had me take certain people that I had

404
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:05,119
Speaker 3: assumed I needed to invite off the list because we

405
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,800
Speaker 3: don't have much of a relationship with them.

406
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,919
Speaker 4: I reminded her of this fact. Well, that was my

407
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:14,439
Speaker 4: third mistake, because how dare I tell her who she

408
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:18,159
Speaker 4: can and cannot invite when she's the one paying for everything? Oh,

409
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:18,679
Speaker 4: there we go.

410
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:22,280
Speaker 3: It's always using the money whenever they pay they think

411
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,520
Speaker 3: they can control your old wedding. No such thing as

412
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,520
Speaker 3: a free lunch man. She isn't my dad is, and

413
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:32,560
Speaker 3: he agrees that I shouldn't invite Martha. Also, Bijorn's parents

414
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:33,560
Speaker 3: are helping too.

415
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:34,440
Speaker 4: That I have, of.

416
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:37,119
Speaker 3: Course, a terrible daughter who doesn't care about her and

417
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,159
Speaker 3: what she wants and needs. And now I'm telling her

418
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:42,199
Speaker 3: who she can and can invite with her invitations that

419
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:44,480
Speaker 3: her aunt and uncle aren't coming, and I have no

420
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,439
Speaker 3: right to tell her who she can give those seats to.

421
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,879
Speaker 3: When I reminded her that I definitely can tell her

422
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,840
Speaker 3: who can and can't come, because this is again my

423
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,520
Speaker 3: wedding and you're not paying for it. Yeah, and you're

424
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,359
Speaker 3: not paying for it. The dad is an Op's fiance's

425
00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,040
Speaker 3: parents aren't.

426
00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:01,760
Speaker 4: Yes. She shouted that then she won't come to the

427
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,639
Speaker 4: wedding and was going to return her Mother of the

428
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:07,080
Speaker 4: Bride dress. She can't. She bought it two years ago,

429
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,240
Speaker 4: two seconds after the engagement.

430
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,679
Speaker 1: Along engagement that's also cute, that's very sweet.

431
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,879
Speaker 4: She ordered me to take her off the guest list.

432
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,520
Speaker 4: She's like, fine, take me on, I'm done, but can

433
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:18,600
Speaker 4: we put Matha and Dot back on?

434
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,879
Speaker 3: Can we use my spot because Mother of the Bride's

435
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,720
Speaker 3: worth like two spots, right.

436
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,600
Speaker 1: Dude, If you really need to get this message going

437
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:26,879
Speaker 1: just go meet them.

438
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:30,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, you can call them and you say hey, hey. Now,

439
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,560
Speaker 3: this is a tactic she uses a lot, and one

440
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,320
Speaker 3: she has used throughout my entire life. I set a

441
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,560
Speaker 3: boundary and keep it, and she throws a fit and

442
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,440
Speaker 3: cancels the trip, or leaves me at home while she

443
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:44,080
Speaker 3: takes my siblings out, or she cancels a playdate or

444
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,480
Speaker 3: birthday party, or she doesn't show up to something important,

445
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,280
Speaker 3: et cetera. She even did it to my big sister

446
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:52,399
Speaker 3: several times when we were planning her wedding. Then she

447
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,399
Speaker 3: ended up actually going and then sabotaged the walk down

448
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,639
Speaker 3: the aisle, and my dad didn't get to walk my sister.

449
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 3: My sister lurks here and she'll profit see this, I

450
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,240
Speaker 3: sais see. It is always hurt when she has done this,

451
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,920
Speaker 3: But this time around, I was just tired and frankly

452
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,360
Speaker 3: fed up. What happened next is what I think sent

453
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:14,200
Speaker 3: her over the edge. I'm just like, I really quick.

454
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:19,959
Speaker 3: It feels like we've like walked away from the whole

455
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:23,200
Speaker 3: ghost thing, you know, like it feels like that was whoa,

456
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,080
Speaker 3: she's talking to ghosts. And o'b was like, well now

457
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:28,159
Speaker 3: she's making me invite on an uncle, like maybe we

458
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:32,000
Speaker 3: should we should go call some a doctor. Yeah, I

459
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,639
Speaker 3: feel like it's less. Oh she's being annoying. It's like,

460
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:35,720
Speaker 3: maybe we should call a doctor.

461
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 1: Or my thought was ghost thing, ghost thing, ghost thing.

462
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get these two girls get in here. What

463
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,920
Speaker 1: we're gonna do is they're gonna find the richest people

464
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,959
Speaker 1: at this wedding. They're gonna follow them to their houses,

465
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 1: still their jewelry, and then I'm gonna be a millionaire

466
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,119
Speaker 1: and blame it on the ghost. Blame it on and

467
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:51,040
Speaker 1: then bring the ghost bank.

468
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:52,720
Speaker 4: It's also an option I suppose.

469
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,720
Speaker 1: Actually don't do that because Gussie will get upset. Never mind,

470
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,639
Speaker 1: they're they're resting in peace. Well those aren't. But like

471
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,160
Speaker 1: I feel like it's that's a distraction. There's another plan

472
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 1: amongst so that we don't know about. The twist trying

473
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,720
Speaker 1: to throw you off her sent Sorry, I'll do my okay,

474
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 1: story time for those who don't know.

475
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,199
Speaker 3: I told her that she didn't have to be there

476
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,439
Speaker 3: if she didn't want to be, and that she had

477
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,679
Speaker 3: the ability to return address if that was what she

478
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:16,640
Speaker 3: wanted to do. I also let her know that if

479
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 3: she did choose not to come to my wedding over

480
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,200
Speaker 3: such a silly argument that she would be nuking any

481
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 3: relationship she and I have going forward.

482
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,320
Speaker 1: I was gonna name a nuke name, all right.

483
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,320
Speaker 4: That went over like a lead balloon filled with mercury.

484
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 4: You're a nuke. Thank you when you let it rip.

485
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 4: That's a heavy balloon right there.

486
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 7: Yeah.

487
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 3: She responded that we clearly don't have relationships since I

488
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,399
Speaker 3: don't care about her feelings and I don't want to

489
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:44,080
Speaker 3: listen to my mother read as obey her. She then

490
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:47,639
Speaker 3: stomped off into her room and refused to discuss things further.

491
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 4: Now, let's be honest. To a degree, she is correct,

492
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 4: I don't care about her feelings on this, And he's like, yeah,

493
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 4: you're right, you cannot show up and it will be fine.

494
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 1: Actually I don't want to show up, so.

495
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, do you a little reverse psychology be like actually

496
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,640
Speaker 4: you're not invited anymore, yo, And then she'd be like.

497
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,359
Speaker 1: Hi, demand distress two years ago.

498
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 4: I care what you meant. And then you're like, okay,

499
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 4: you can come back.

500
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:10,479
Speaker 1: I don't want to go.

501
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,040
Speaker 3: She can be mad if she wants to. In fact,

502
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 3: she can put on a cape, so she could be

503
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:15,359
Speaker 3: super mad.

504
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 4: That's funny.

505
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,640
Speaker 3: However, that is going to change that. It isn't going

506
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,199
Speaker 3: to change the size of the venue, nor will it

507
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,639
Speaker 3: change the fact that Biorn and I are adamant that

508
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,960
Speaker 3: we are surrounded only by friends and family that we

509
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,160
Speaker 3: care about and who care about us on the day

510
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:33,200
Speaker 3: of our wedding. In fact, as of a few months ago,

511
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,880
Speaker 3: when I asked my parents if they were any more

512
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,480
Speaker 3: people they wanted to add to the guest list any more,

513
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:42,640
Speaker 3: edits became two yes's what no, meaning that either both

514
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 3: of us agree or neither of us agree. He also

515
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 3: does not want to invite strangers to our wedding oh

516
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,920
Speaker 3: any more? Edits became too oh okay, so basically saying

517
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 3: that if they wanted, if Opie's parents wanted to add

518
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 3: more people, both Ope and her fiance would have to agree.

519
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:04,280
Speaker 1: Yes, dude, you let that be the basis of your relationship,

520
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,399
Speaker 1: then whenever it comes to other things you both have

521
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 1: to agree on it. It's just I love this. I okay,

522
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:11,639
Speaker 1: I like that part.

523
00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 4: What if you both can agree, yeah, it doesn't happen.

524
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,919
Speaker 1: Well, Like, hey babe, I want to buy this table,

525
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,480
Speaker 1: Like I agree, and then you both get it, okay,

526
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:22,439
Speaker 1: and that kind of thing. Yeah, you don't like I

527
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:25,200
Speaker 1: bought the table. It's like I bought I bought a puppy.

528
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,919
Speaker 1: Bring it home and the girl and watch what Like

529
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 1: we didn't talk about this like, Okay, I agreed on it.

530
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 1: We both have to talk about it. I love it

531
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:32,440
Speaker 1: the communication.

532
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, therefore there will be no strangers at our wedding. Now,

533
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 3: knowing that my mom was likely going to tell my

534
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 3: dad that I had uninvited her from my wedding, I

535
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 3: went to him to explain the situation. First, he was bewildered,

536
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:47,920
Speaker 3: but was adamant that the fact that the financial help

537
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:51,160
Speaker 3: he had promised was not going to be rescinded based

538
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 3: on my mother's decisions, something I was very grateful for.

539
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,439
Speaker 3: Then I went and complained to Bjorn about what was

540
00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 3: going on. It was all so exhausted to hear, but

541
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,920
Speaker 3: said that from this point forward I should blame him

542
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 3: for this and any other knows I have to get

543
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,359
Speaker 3: the heat off of my back. I get where he's

544
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 3: coming from. Since I still live with my parents and

545
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:12,440
Speaker 3: he still lives with his. Apartments are expensive and mom

546
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,920
Speaker 3: and Dad are not, so he doesn't need to deal

547
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,640
Speaker 3: with it in the same way. It's unfortunate, though, because

548
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 3: we have been trying to rehabilitate his relationship with my

549
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 3: parents for months. He didn't do anything.

550
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 4: My mom is just.

551
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 3: Mad that she doesn't get as much control over my

552
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,640
Speaker 3: life since he's been in my life. I can't find

553
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:31,640
Speaker 3: faults in his logic, though. After talking to my maid

554
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 3: and matron of honor, my best friend, and my sister,

555
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 3: I sat down with my both of my parents the

556
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:39,399
Speaker 3: same evening. I didn't gather them. They just both happened

557
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 3: to be in the same room and I wanted my

558
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,480
Speaker 3: dad there so that my mom and I wouldn't remember

559
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:47,639
Speaker 3: the conversation differently, something which happens quite often. Yeah, you

560
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,399
Speaker 3: need the third party to take notes. You need the

561
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 3: court reporter in the room who's just like and you're like, okay, well, see,

562
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 3: if you refer to page four, he'll see that.

563
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 4: I never said that.

564
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 1: I'm always impressed by how fast I mean.

565
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 4: The short shorthand is such an interesting Oh are they shorthanded?

566
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,879
Speaker 3: Well, it's I'm pretty sure that in I don't know

567
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 3: if it's specifically shorthand, but I know that it's like shorthand.

568
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've seen someone do shorthand before. I could probably

569
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 1: my aunt kill a shorthand. I'm pretty good.

570
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 3: At time, I explained that Dot Martha and I are

571
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,160
Speaker 3: not friends, and we weren't even that good friends as children,

572
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 3: and that as much.

573
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 4: Responsibility as my mom feels towards Miss Tina, I was not.

574
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 3: Going to invite them to my wedding. I also pointed

575
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 3: out that if the goal is to rekindle my friendship

576
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 3: with them, inviting them to my wedding was never going

577
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,680
Speaker 3: to accomplish that. It's not like I will have enough

578
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 3: time to catch up with them and talk about life.

579
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 3: I will be busy enjoying my wedding and celebrating with

580
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,960
Speaker 3: Bjorn and my besties. I reminded her that her last

581
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 3: opportunity for input into the guest list was given and

582
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:52,600
Speaker 3: explained as the last opportunity several months ago. She insists

583
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 3: that I'm gaslighting her and that I changed the rules

584
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:59,000
Speaker 3: all of a sudden. I apologize for any misunderstanding or miscommunication,

585
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 3: but iterated that these have been the rules the entire time,

586
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 3: and that Bajorn also doesn't want to invite strangers to

587
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 3: our wedding. In fact, if her aunt and uncle aren't coming.

588
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 3: We have actual friends that we would have liked to

589
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,640
Speaker 3: invite but didn't have the room for. Furthermore, I told

590
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 3: her how hurt I was that she would try to

591
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:17,679
Speaker 3: manipulate me by threatening not to come to my wedding.

592
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,480
Speaker 3: And I found that extremely nasty. And me and the

593
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 3: Mom's gonna be like, I see where you're coming from.

594
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:25,920
Speaker 3: This is thank you for bringing this up in such

595
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 3: a respectful manner. I see my wrongdoings, and I'm gonna

596
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,439
Speaker 3: change my way. I'm going to change the error of

597
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 3: my ways, or I've seen the error of my ways, right,

598
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 3: I shall be a better person going forward, the better mother.

599
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 1: Dude, if you put twenty if you betted that for

600
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:42,120
Speaker 1: twenty bucks, you'd be a millionaire, because that's definitely.

601
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 4: Not gonna happen. That's exactly where it's going. Mana man, what.

602
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 1: Would how would how do you even? Like, you know

603
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 1: your mom's off the rocker? You just that contact or

604
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,159
Speaker 1: just you're not coming.

605
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 4: Well.

606
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:57,200
Speaker 3: I feel like it is really tricky in this situation

607
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,439
Speaker 3: because I think that op has, I mean, beyond the

608
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,880
Speaker 3: beginning of this story, Ope has kind of glossed over

609
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 3: the fact that her mom is you know, has bipolar

610
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 3: and has I think like with like psychotic one or something,

611
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,119
Speaker 3: so like that is.

612
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 4: A pretty relevant part of you know, why she is

613
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:17,440
Speaker 4: acting this way.

614
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,879
Speaker 3: So I do think that like a certain level of

615
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:24,720
Speaker 3: race has to be or you know, or it seems like, oh,

616
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 3: he is giving her mother a certain level of because

617
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,159
Speaker 3: she is so like, yeah, okay, fine, mom, that's how

618
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 3: you're to act.

619
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 1: And that's how she keeps her sanity. I would lose

620
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:32,680
Speaker 1: my sanity.

621
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, which is I mean, it's really hard because.

622
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 1: She's pretty tied up on this one thing.

623
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 3: I think I'm sure that op's already or that her

624
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,639
Speaker 3: family has already kind of been getting her mother to

625
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:47,400
Speaker 3: help it seems. Yeah, but yeah, that must be really

626
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 3: tricky trying to deal with someone who is kind of

627
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 3: being very unreasonable, but also trying to hold space for

628
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 3: the fact that they, you know, are mentally. Yeah, she

629
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,399
Speaker 3: is my mom, and we'll always have a seat at

630
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 3: my wedding, but she has the choice as to whether

631
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:03,680
Speaker 3: or not her butt is in that seat. Well, it

632
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:06,439
Speaker 3: was a mistake, but to tell her that I have

633
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 3: real friends, because since those seats were for her family,

634
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 3: then she should be able to fill them. With whoever

635
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:14,120
Speaker 3: she wants. That is not the case and was never

636
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 3: the case. I have always had final veto power over

637
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 3: invitations from my side of the family, and she knew that.

638
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 3: She then started screaming that if I have a good

639
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 3: relationship with her, why did my dad need to be

640
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 3: there since I wasn't addressing him at all.

641
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 4: Why didn't I dress her to know what was being said?

642
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:33,359
Speaker 3: Apparently it was the greatest of insults to say that

643
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,119
Speaker 3: I wanted someone else in the room to help de

644
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 3: escalate things if they started to get out of hand.

645
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 3: Then she mentioned that we had been to dot In

646
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 3: Martha's older sister's wedding several years ago, so.

647
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 4: We had to invite them.

648
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 3: When I pointed out that if she wanted to fulfill

649
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 3: that courtesy, then we actually need to invite the sister

650
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,240
Speaker 3: and her husband, mom and responded that that would be

651
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 3: too many people and that we should invite the younger

652
00:28:55,280 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 3: sisters instead. Lawless logic, right, Well, I said no, and

653
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 3: she stormed off again, saying that I could do what

654
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 3: I wanted, it's my wedding and that her opinions clearly

655
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 3: don't matter.

656
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 1: Breck, But that was sarcasm. Yeah, this is so frustrating,

657
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 1: very frustrating, just trying.

658
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:15,480
Speaker 4: To like have a wedding man.

659
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 3: All of that happened two days ago, and she is

660
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 3: not in any way let it go. She has refused

661
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,720
Speaker 3: to talk to me most of the day and has

662
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 3: broken the silence only to send me obnoxious numbers of

663
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 3: screenshots of the instagrams of various people that I had

664
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,200
Speaker 3: been friends with as a child, but that she thinks

665
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 3: were and are good friends.

666
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:38,240
Speaker 4: She's like, you have to invite Timmy from third grade.

667
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 4: You you had a plate it one time.

668
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 1: Remember that one time he caught a frog for you.

669
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 4: Oh, you got in by Timmy.

670
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 1: That's a good frog kitchen.

671
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 3: I am now very worried that she's going to pull

672
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 3: some sort of shenanigans and try to invite them herself

673
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 3: or else make my life and my wedding difficult for me.

674
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 3: She is known to be a meddler and tends to

675
00:29:56,840 --> 00:30:00,239
Speaker 3: sabotage things. I refer back to my sister's wedding, and

676
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 3: I don't want to deal with this right now. I'm

677
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 3: trying to throw together a wedding in four months time,

678
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 3: and I don't need the drama more than that. Though

679
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 3: I'm just so tired. I've been dealing with my mother's

680
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:13,560
Speaker 3: various behaviors for years, and it's starting to get really heavy.

681
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 3: What makes it worse is that this is all fueled

682
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 3: by her sickness. She's only being like this because she

683
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 3: thinks that the spirits of the deceased come to her

684
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 3: to ask her to do tasks on earth so that

685
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:28,400
Speaker 3: they can move on and enter heaven, or else people

686
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 3: in heaven are asking her to do things from them

687
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 3: on earth. She thinks that by refusing her, I am

688
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 3: refusing to help Miss Tina find peace, and that is

689
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 3: clearly driving her sane. I can't even be mad at

690
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 3: her because she can't be rational about this, and it

691
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 3: makes me sad because I am clearly causing her much

692
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 3: distressed and insisting on my boundaries. Oh jolly Toaster, says

693
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 3: I repeat, You cannot rationalize with irrational people. Yes, Unfortunately,

694
00:30:56,400 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 3: I think regardless of whether or not you put a boundary,

695
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:05,720
Speaker 3: she would still find some way to be upset with you. Yeah,

696
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 3: and so I think right, it's the best way is

697
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:09,880
Speaker 3: to make sure that for your you know, for your

698
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 3: own sanity, and for making sure that you have a

699
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 3: relationship continued like with your mother.

700
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 4: In the future. I think you have to.

701
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,040
Speaker 3: Put up those boundaries because otherwise you're just not gonna

702
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 3: be able to be around her. At the same time, though,

703
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 3: she's being intentionally hurtful and manipulative, manipulative when she says

704
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 3: that I don't care about her or that she isn't

705
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 3: coming to my wedding, it all just makes me so

706
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 3: sad and frustrated, especially because we had made it to

707
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 3: four months out with relatively little drama, and now the

708
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:43,719
Speaker 3: drama comes with interest. I don't need advice, I just

709
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 3: need events. I will update things as we get nearer

710
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 3: and near to the wedding. Thank you for reading.

711
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 4: By the way, let'st.

712
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 3: I advise you to listen to full episodes of stories

713
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 3: just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or

714
00:31:57,120 --> 00:32:00,960
Speaker 3: your favorite podcast app like iHeartRadio and search a.

715
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 4: Booky story time. But there is a little bit left.

716
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: The story is there more, the wedding day is getting closer.

717
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 1: There might be an update.

718
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 4: There's gotta be a little bit more.

719
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 1: It's happening in May. That's almost got You're also I'm

720
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:14,240
Speaker 1: going to a wedding in Math.

721
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:16,719
Speaker 4: In fact, yeah, I'm not.

722
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. You could get married to May.

723
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna find I'm find a person on the street.

724
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, I'll be like, you want.

725
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 4: To go to a wedding. They're like great, I'm like perfect.

726
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 1: That is that is a movie idea. That's a script.

727
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, hey, I really need I really need

728
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 3: someone to go to a wedding with me. Oh my god,

729
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 3: it's a script. You the person goes on like a

730
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 3: dating app or something. They're like, hey, need a plus

731
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 3: one for a wedding, and then the person shows up.

732
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 4: They're getting married.

733
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 1: Yo, I've seen it. There is a movie about that.

734
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 3: But they're like, oh my god, this is crazy, what

735
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 3: are you doing? But it was a whole kind of long,

736
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 3: like road strip movie, and I bonded on that road

737
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 3: trip and then they get married.

738
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:04,719
Speaker 4: Yeah.

739
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 1: Also, yeah, with this.

740
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 4: Mom right the story, do you think.

741
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 1: We need to give her a buddy at the wedding?

742
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 4: Absolutely, if she goes to the I mean it seems

743
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 4: like she just needs that in general. But I think

744
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 4: the dad hopefully would be that person.

745
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 3: They married married still, yeah, they lived together, So I

746
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 3: think maybe if you got if you talk to your dad,

747
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,960
Speaker 3: because he seems pretty reasonable and said like, hey, can

748
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 3: I can I put this on you to make sure

749
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 3: that mom is looked after?

750
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:33,719
Speaker 4: Or do we need another person to do that?

751
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:34,240
Speaker 1: Yeah?

752
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:36,720
Speaker 4: What do you need? Because I don't want to have

753
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 4: to be worrying about her.

754
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 1: Yeai, I'm sorry?

755
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 4: Really hard?

756
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 1: Is there another one?

757
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 3: Well, there's a little bit more edits. I've seen this

758
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 3: come up several times in the comments, so I'm going

759
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 3: to put this here. In the US, you have to

760
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 3: be very sick before control or information about your care

761
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 3: can be given over to someone else. In the case

762
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 3: of my mother, she is legally not sick enough for

763
00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:59,400
Speaker 3: my dad and I to have any information about her care,

764
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 3: including who her doctor is and what her diagnosis is.

765
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 3: I only know because I snooped in her paperwork a

766
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 3: couple of years ago. I mean, yeah, the process to

767
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 3: get like conservatorship or something is pretty pretty difficult.

768
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:14,800
Speaker 4: Let's ship a bunch of money.

769
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:16,719
Speaker 1: If you have a nine nsis like that, why would

770
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 1: you behind it?

771
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:22,399
Speaker 4: Well? Probably you know part of your illness stuff, okay,

772
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 4: and also you probably.

773
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 3: I mean a lot of people, even if they know

774
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 3: that they have this diagnosis, don't want to lose autonomy

775
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:33,839
Speaker 3: because that's already it's like a scary thing, and Ezekiel says, did.

776
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:35,719
Speaker 4: You want me get Swart? No, my friend bought it

777
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 4: for me for Christmas.

778
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,720
Speaker 3: But years ago, I do know that she doctor shopped

779
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 3: until she could convince someone that she only had anxiety,

780
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,400
Speaker 3: and she was taken off most of her medications. At

781
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 3: this point, unless she starts threatening harm to herself or

782
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 3: someone else, or starts doing genuinely dangerous things, there really

783
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:56,320
Speaker 3: isn't anything I can do. Having delusions that deceased people

784
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 3: are talking to her and getting angry.

785
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 4: About it doesn't meet the criteria.

786
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 3: I am thinking though, that I'm going to speak to

787
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 3: her priest about this and see if maybe he can

788
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:09,600
Speaker 3: calm her down of it. Thanks to everyone who expressed concern,

789
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:11,399
Speaker 3: there just isn't a lot that can be done from

790
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:12,440
Speaker 3: a medical angle.

791
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:16,200
Speaker 4: At this point. Exerciser, but that is the end of

792
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:16,760
Speaker 4: the story.

793
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 1: Oh man.

794
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 3: Katie Paladin says mom should still be on bipolar meds.

795
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 3: I think Ope agrees with that, but unfortunately, just unfortunately,

796
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:26,759
Speaker 3: it seems like she does not want to be put

797
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 3: on those meds and actively fighting against that.

798
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:33,400
Speaker 1: To save myself from a headache, I would go no

799
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 1: logan like kind of low contact until after the wedding. Yeah,

800
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,279
Speaker 1: I mean just imagine every day the two girls like coming,

801
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,880
Speaker 1: two girls like mante, two girls coming. It's something else.

802
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 3: I think low contact until the wedding makes sense, like

803
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:47,360
Speaker 3: you're not cutting her out at all and definitely not

804
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 3: in the future, but no, just right now with her

805
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 3: constantly kind of making this a problem.

806
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:54,359
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but.

807
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:57,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's it's really tough, very tough, because it also

808
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 4: seems like, oh, he still has a lot of like

809
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 4: love for loving care because she says like she's a

810
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 4: charming woman.

811
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 3: It's just she has these moments for you know. Josephine says,

812
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,320
Speaker 3: by polar one, not psychotic one. By polar one includes

813
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:09,280
Speaker 3: psychotic tendencies.

814
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:11,799
Speaker 4: I think that. I think it's said by.

815
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:15,319
Speaker 1: Said it, said both, but that could be also the case.

816
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 4: That probably is the more correct way to say it.

817
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 4: I think so said it. But that is the end

818
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 4: of the story. Sweet, Do we have another one to read?

819
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 2: Hey it's Sam, I'm your ogi host here bring it

820
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:30,319
Speaker 2: back to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from

821
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 2: a sponsors.

822
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:34,239
Speaker 3: My wife spoiled Mother's Day because she won't give in

823
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 3: to my mother in law.

824
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:36,120
Speaker 1: Don't you know.

825
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,800
Speaker 7: That that's the day you leally have to do everything

826
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:39,280
Speaker 7: she says.

827
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:39,759
Speaker 1: Good.

828
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 4: Wait unless you're also a mom, then they cancel out.

829
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 3: My mother in law is an annoying person to say

830
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 3: in the nicest way, she has extremely low self worth

831
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 3: and she compensates that by forcing the world to go

832
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:53,760
Speaker 3: around her. By the way, this comes from phone routine.

833
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:55,319
Speaker 3: If you want to some Aaron stories, go to our

834
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:56,280
Speaker 3: slash ooke storytime.

835
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:56,719
Speaker 4: Separate it.

836
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 3: So, as a family who interact with her regularly, we

837
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:03,839
Speaker 3: are forced to treat her like a queen every day,

838
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 3: every minute. If we don't, then there will be drama

839
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 3: all the way from pouting going to her room, fainting

840
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 3: leaving the house, to full blown breakdown, including saying, why.

841
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 4: Should I live on this planet anymore? No one cares

842
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:19,400
Speaker 4: about me? Hmmmm.

843
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 7: It's an interesting philosophical question and one that should be

844
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:24,800
Speaker 7: answered with just self worth.

845
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, like, as long as you care about yourself, then

846
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 1: that should be cool.

847
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 3: So to see an old lady say she's gonna end

848
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 3: herself just because we don't give her a few minutes

849
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 3: of attention is a bizarre thing to witness. So it's

850
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 3: exhausting to be around her. But what else can my

851
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:40,759
Speaker 3: wife and sister in law do. She's their mom and

852
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 3: they both try their darn best to make her feel special.

853
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:45,759
Speaker 3: But they would also just like to interact with her

854
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 3: as their mom too, not just as some out of

855
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:51,800
Speaker 3: touch royalty. They would like to crack jokes, chat about

856
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 3: general things, and share their problems, not have to be

857
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:57,279
Speaker 3: constantly worried what statement might tick her off.

858
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, when they were.

859
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 3: Kids in her orbit, things are fine as she controlled them,

860
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 3: and that made her feel she is in the center

861
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 3: of attention. Now they are married and have a family

862
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 3: of their own, and that she is not the anchor

863
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,759
Speaker 3: of the family. She has started becoming more and more

864
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,279
Speaker 3: demanding that we perform some elaborate.

865
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 4: Rituals to make it feel special. That's extremely exhausting.

866
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 3: She's just like, okay, now bring me on the palanquin, please.

867
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 7: Like doing like the Bohemian grove, like Illuminati rituals.

868
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,640
Speaker 3: She's like, now you must burn an evangy to the

869
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:28,080
Speaker 3: toolamac owl god.

870
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:33,319
Speaker 4: A sacrifice a lamb and drink its blood. So to

871
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 4: the actual event itself.

872
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 3: Mother in law and father in law have traveled to

873
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 3: our country and are staying with us for a short

874
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,799
Speaker 3: time to help us with the kids as we all

875
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 3: live halfway across the globe. My wife planned an elaborate

876
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,839
Speaker 3: Mother's Day event centered around mother in law, even though

877
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 3: she herself is a mom too. One of the plans

878
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:54,719
Speaker 3: included lunch at a popular ethnic cuisine restaurant. By the way,

879
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,840
Speaker 3: had she not planned it, had she not planned it herself,

880
00:38:57,880 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 3: there would have been a snarky comment at the end

881
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:02,080
Speaker 3: of the day, say, seems like you don't care about

882
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:04,800
Speaker 3: your mom enough to plan something for me. I was

883
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:08,200
Speaker 3: waiting the whole day for you to do something. Anyway,

884
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 3: morning went to uneventfully as we had been pampering the

885
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,760
Speaker 3: grown up toddler, and mother.

886
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:14,880
Speaker 4: In law was quite jubilant.

887
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 3: We got to the restaurant and I and our elder

888
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 3: one go in to set up the table as my

889
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 3: wife is bringing the others mother in law, father in law,

890
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:25,320
Speaker 3: and our little one, My two year old, the real

891
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 3: toddler decides to throw a tantrum for toddler reasons.

892
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:29,680
Speaker 4: But then mother in.

893
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 3: Law sees this beautiful garden in front of the restaurant

894
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 3: and wants my wife to take her a pick. Mother

895
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:37,760
Speaker 3: in law doesn't care about anything and forces my wife

896
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 3: to take several picks as my wife is holding a crying,

897
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,279
Speaker 3: fussing and kicking toddler on her hip.

898
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:45,440
Speaker 4: What a whack thing to make somebody do.

899
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 3: Very's very strange having past in the glory of being

900
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:52,160
Speaker 3: the center of attention. Mother in law is satisfied enough

901
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 3: and they all come in, and my wife is ticked

902
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 3: from the events, but tries her best to be cheerful.

903
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:59,359
Speaker 3: The waiter comes in to take the order, and right

904
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,360
Speaker 3: then mother decides to go to the restroom. My wife

905
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 3: asks her to order before going, as the kids will

906
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:07,960
Speaker 3: get angry if we wait for long. The big mistake

907
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:11,040
Speaker 3: my wife did was asking in a normal tone, a

908
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:15,440
Speaker 3: regular conversational tone, instead of pleading or pleasing pampering tone.

909
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 3: How damn my wife order her royalty on what to do?

910
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:20,320
Speaker 4: That was strike one.

911
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,280
Speaker 3: As me and my wife are looking at the basilian

912
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,439
Speaker 3: choices and trying to order for the kids ourselves, spice level,

913
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 3: et cetera. We got absorbed into ordering without paying attention.

914
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:32,600
Speaker 4: To the most important person. Mother in law wasn't the

915
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 4: center of attention for two full minutes.

916
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 3: How dairy that strike too? We didn't notice that and

917
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:40,880
Speaker 3: ask her what she wants. She asks if they have

918
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 3: a particular ethnic dish which is a regular staple we

919
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:47,280
Speaker 3: have almost every day at home, like a grilled cheese

920
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:50,880
Speaker 3: that too in in a different meek tone. She was

921
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 3: indirectly implying that she's just nobody because of strike one

922
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 3: and two. So she's ordering some peasant food.

923
00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 7: I cannot stand people like this.

924
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:03,359
Speaker 4: It sounds infuriate.

925
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,399
Speaker 7: She's the kind of person who's like, if I feel bad,

926
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 7: I want everyone around me to feel bad.

927
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 4: I'm a terrible day today.

928
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:10,359
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

929
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:14,319
Speaker 3: That was our c to realize our mistake, frustrate before her,

930
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:17,360
Speaker 3: beg her forgiveness, and bring the world back into alignment

931
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 3: before things go downhill. We fail to notice that change

932
00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:24,760
Speaker 3: in tone, which is strike three instead my wife's jess mom.

933
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 4: We have that almost every get at home. So why

934
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 4: don't you? Mother in law cuts her off, saying.

935
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:29,680
Speaker 1: I know that.

936
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:33,239
Speaker 4: Are you saying I don't know that and storms off

937
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 4: to the restaurant.

938
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,279
Speaker 7: I'm implying it because you just asked to order it

939
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 7: at the restaurant.

940
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:39,799
Speaker 4: It's like, why don't we get why don't we drist something?

941
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:43,360
Speaker 3: We all are figuring out what the f happened? And oh,

942
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 3: there goes the phone. Oh oh, we all are figuring out.

943
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,280
Speaker 4: What the f happened, and we finish ordering.

944
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:54,280
Speaker 3: Mother in law comes back and unloads onto my wife

945
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:55,960
Speaker 3: how she disrespected her.

946
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:58,279
Speaker 4: We brought her to this country.

947
00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:59,600
Speaker 3: And ever since then, my wife has made it her

948
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:03,399
Speaker 3: mission and to do nothing but continuously humiliate her.

949
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:05,000
Speaker 4: And mother in law starts crying.

950
00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:07,000
Speaker 1: So I think the perfect way to deal with this

951
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 1: is to treat her like a.

952
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 4: Toddler and just ignore her. Yeah, okay, mom, if you're

953
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:11,440
Speaker 4: gonna have a tantrum.

954
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:15,080
Speaker 3: I quickly realized what ed conspired. But my innocent wife,

955
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:17,439
Speaker 3: whose heart is only filled with love and not such

956
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 3: evil games, doesn't realize the drama mother in law wants. Instead,

957
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:23,759
Speaker 3: she's trying to understand how suggesting that the dish is

958
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 3: a regular staple at home is humiliating, and mother in

959
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 3: law goes, you're implying I'm dumb and don't even know this.

960
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:32,399
Speaker 4: You've ruined Mother's Day.

961
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 3: All daughters do special things on Mother's Day, and here

962
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 3: you are ruining mine and.

963
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 4: A few other delectable books.

964
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,319
Speaker 7: If I could just like pop my eyes out and

965
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 7: roll them around, that's how hard I want to roll

966
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 7: my eyes right, roll those eyes I want to roll

967
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:47,759
Speaker 7: them down a bowling house.

968
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 4: This is pretty exhausting. This is probably what wife has

969
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 4: been going on, you know, going through her whole life.

970
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:55,880
Speaker 4: But oh, he's just sitting there.

971
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 7: And she's just been conditioned to be like, yeah, I

972
00:42:57,600 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 7: guess this is now, this is I have to handle

973
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 7: this and know he's like, so, yeah, that's the solution

974
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:04,360
Speaker 7: is straight up ignoring.

975
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't play into.

976
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:08,279
Speaker 3: This, my wife says, again and again, that's just a

977
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:10,800
Speaker 3: regular thing to say to your mom. But mother in

978
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,759
Speaker 3: law is adamant that my wife humiliated to her by

979
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:17,000
Speaker 3: implying she's dumb but not knowing it's a staple dish

980
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:19,880
Speaker 3: we regularly eat at home. And well, now I'm not

981
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 3: entirely convinced that you did know that, because you've really been.

982
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 4: Honing in on the fact that you know, Oh, I'm

983
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:26,120
Speaker 4: not dumb. I know this.

984
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 1: I'm not dumb, and I know the thing that you said.

985
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 4: It feels like it feels like you might not have known.

986
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 1: Yes, I know, we eat that.

987
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:36,840
Speaker 3: He didn't protest too much and storms off to sit outside. Seriously,

988
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:39,080
Speaker 3: that was the entire discussion for a full five minutes.

989
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 3: It was extremely bizarre to see a sixty year old

990
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 3: woman throw a tantrum and accuse her daughter because she said.

991
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 4: It's a regular staple we had to eat at home.

992
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 3: Normally, we'd run after her, apologize and beg her to

993
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 3: come back and keep apologizing throughout the lunch, which is

994
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 3: what she wanted after three strikes. But this time we

995
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 3: were so over to this. Bs been through similar ones

996
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:04,359
Speaker 3: many times. We just sat and ate in piece without

997
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 3: an extra side of trauma. But my wife was heartbroken.

998
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 3: She does all this planning, wanting to be a good daughter,

999
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 3: wanted her mom to feel special, and in the end

1000
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:16,719
Speaker 3: has ruined mother's day by talking to her mom as

1001
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:17,320
Speaker 3: a mom.

1002
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:19,040
Speaker 1: And knows his royalty.

1003
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 3: So a sixty year old woman started crying in the

1004
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:24,760
Speaker 3: middle of lunch rush in a popular restaurant, all because

1005
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:27,319
Speaker 3: we didn't give her attention for five minutes while we

1006
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:30,800
Speaker 3: were busy ordering food for kids. There are hundreds of

1007
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:35,320
Speaker 3: such stories, but this one is the clearest. Wtf that happened?

1008
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:36,640
Speaker 4: And edit?

1009
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 3: My wife is a very sweet person who believes there

1010
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:42,040
Speaker 3: is goodness in everyone. She's been annoyed by mother in

1011
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:45,240
Speaker 3: law's behavior and had been tipping around at this point,

1012
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:48,879
Speaker 3: which I was actually surprised by, but being the good

1013
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:51,279
Speaker 3: natured person she is, she has decided that she will

1014
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:53,960
Speaker 3: continue to make her mom happy, whether that actually makes

1015
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:54,840
Speaker 3: her mom happy or not.

1016
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:56,839
Speaker 1: Hey, it's John here, og host of the show. We're

1017
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:58,399
Speaker 1: going to get back to these juicy stories. But here's

1018
00:44:58,440 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 1: a quick three minutes of ads from our sponsor.

1019
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 4: But there is a little bit left of the story.

1020
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 4: Do any final thoughts.

1021
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:07,120
Speaker 7: Therapy, therapy, therapy, everybody needs therapy.

1022
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:09,319
Speaker 4: Da da da da da Yeah.

1023
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:09,760
Speaker 1: Crazy.

1024
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:11,040
Speaker 4: That sentence was crazy.

1025
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:14,200
Speaker 1: What they said, like they find goodness to like everyone.

1026
00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:16,480
Speaker 4: What do they look Skywalker, You're like, Oh, they're still

1027
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 4: good in him, They're still good.

1028
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 1: Like mom needs she's still.

1029
00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 4: Good cloth therapy.

1030
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:25,319
Speaker 3: Elpi's wife honestly needs therapy to handle her mom, and.

1031
00:45:25,239 --> 00:45:27,360
Speaker 4: She would probably be more receptive to it.

1032
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 7: I doubt that Mom's gonna go do anything because even

1033
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 7: implying the mom needs therape, we should be like, you

1034
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:38,480
Speaker 7: should be saying that crazy, yeah, mom, that's not a

1035
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:39,120
Speaker 7: normal reaction.

1036
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 4: But there is a little bit left to the story.

1037
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 3: She wants to be a good daughter and believes it's

1038
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,480
Speaker 3: her duty to do that therapy. She will continue to

1039
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:48,520
Speaker 3: roll the boulder uphill every day, whether it reaches the

1040
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:50,799
Speaker 3: top or not a therapy, we know that it never

1041
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:53,839
Speaker 3: will Sisyphis. It's her mom and she believes that is

1042
00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:55,799
Speaker 3: the right thing to do, so I'm fine with it.

1043
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:58,759
Speaker 3: I will not try to change that because thirty or

1044
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:00,799
Speaker 3: forty years later, when she looks back, she will not

1045
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:02,879
Speaker 3: remember what her mom did to her. All she will

1046
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:05,279
Speaker 3: remember is what she did in response, and she tried

1047
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:05,880
Speaker 3: her best to be.

1048
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 4: A good daughter, and I believe that will give her peace.

1049
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,719
Speaker 3: Comments coming on, I think that even though your wife

1050
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:13,880
Speaker 3: did put a lot of effort into that lunch, I

1051
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 3: think your mother in law just wanted an excuse just

1052
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:19,799
Speaker 3: to get her way and basically make herself feel better

1053
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 3: by putting your sister in law and wife down just

1054
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 3: for her amusement. I think that it's not only just

1055
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,000
Speaker 3: trying to make her feel better, but I think it's

1056
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:30,879
Speaker 3: more like she enjoys the attention and enjoys people pampering her.

1057
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:32,960
Speaker 3: I hate to say it, there's going to have to

1058
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 3: be a come to Jesus moment with both sister in

1059
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:37,799
Speaker 3: law and your wife because she's probably going to say

1060
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:39,800
Speaker 3: something or do something that's going to be a powder

1061
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 3: keg and then all el's going to break loose the nearest. Uh,

1062
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 3: not just going to be afraid it's going to be

1063
00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 3: a massacre. Opie says, this is just one hundred percent true.

1064
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:51,279
Speaker 3: It's as if you live with us. My sister in

1065
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:53,480
Speaker 3: law has been the black sheep since she was young,

1066
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:55,560
Speaker 3: so she doesn't give mother in law much attention and

1067
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 3: puts her down off. Sometimes it gets so bad that

1068
00:46:58,239 --> 00:46:59,959
Speaker 3: they won't talk to each other for a week while

1069
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:03,120
Speaker 3: being together in a small two bedroom apartment. But then again,

1070
00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 3: we are Asian and have a close relationship with her parents.

1071
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:08,840
Speaker 3: It's not easy to give up on your mom. Sister

1072
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:10,880
Speaker 3: in law and mother in law have this relationship like

1073
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:12,960
Speaker 3: two people who love and hate each other and break

1074
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:16,160
Speaker 3: up and get together every few weeks. My wife was

1075
00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:18,399
Speaker 3: the doting child, so it's hard for her to give

1076
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 3: up on mother in law. She isn't looking for approval

1077
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:23,239
Speaker 3: for mother in law at least not anymore. But you

1078
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,759
Speaker 3: genuinely wants her mom to be happy, and we'll keep

1079
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:28,279
Speaker 3: trying forever. I don't think my wife will ever have

1080
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:30,840
Speaker 3: a come to Jesus moment. You will just keep trying

1081
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 3: to make her happy as long as both of them

1082
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:35,719
Speaker 3: are alive. Pretty sure my wife will continue to even

1083
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:37,360
Speaker 3: after mother in law passes away.

1084
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:41,280
Speaker 7: Which is why we need therapy therapy.

1085
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 4: Saying it like a Pokemon.

1086
00:47:43,239 --> 00:47:49,560
Speaker 3: Therapy, Opie replies true, or another replies sorry, true. Words

1087
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:51,799
Speaker 3: of wisdom right here. You can't fix it because it's

1088
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:54,560
Speaker 3: not actually broken. It's exactly what mother in law wants.

1089
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 4: And that is the end of that story. But yeah,

1090
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:00,960
Speaker 4: be big time.

1091
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 7: I'm just thinking of all the moves if therapy was

1092
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:05,719
Speaker 7: a Pokemon, the moves that it would use.

1093
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:10,919
Speaker 6: I choose therapy, I choose therapy, use communication, therapy, used

1094
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:11,960
Speaker 6: chamber of reflection.

1095
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:16,239
Speaker 7: It's super effective therapy, you self control. Opposing Pokemon is

1096
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:21,280
Speaker 7: now confused. Yeah, what's the what's the evolution of therapy therapy,

1097
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:25,560
Speaker 7: couples therapy, the therapist therapy is Oh, that's a final evolution.

1098
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:32,040
Speaker 7: Oh no, yeah no, all right, let's continue. Yeah yeah,

1099
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:33,840
Speaker 7: all right, yep, you be working on it.

1100
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:36,759
Speaker 3: But that's the end of that episode. So if you

1101
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:38,400
Speaker 3: love us, make sure to subscribe.

1102
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:41,279
Speaker 4: We love you and see you tomorrow.