Speaker 1: Your real talk. Religion still trips me out dead as
Speaker 1: dead as I can agree. Um, but part of me wonders,
Speaker 1: is it really just all about the religion aspect of
Speaker 1: things or is it about that personal connection that you
Speaker 1: have with a good Look. Hey, I'm Cadine and we're
Speaker 1: the Ellises. You may know us from posting funny videos
Speaker 1: with our boys and reading each other publicly as a
Speaker 1: form of therapy. Wait, I'll make you need therapy most days. Wow.
Speaker 1: And one more important thing to mention, we're married. We are.
Speaker 1: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of
Speaker 1: life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to
Speaker 1: talk about through the lens of a millennium married couple.
Speaker 1: Dead ass is the term that we say every day.
Speaker 1: So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts,
Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 1: Were about to think, Bill talk to a whole new level.
Speaker 1: Dead ad starts right now. This story time is gonna
Speaker 1: take me back Tooklyn circa Wow. I remember saying my prayers.
Speaker 1: I was no a matter of fact, Circle Circle nineteen ninety.
Speaker 1: I was saying my prayers and I remember thinking to myself, now,
Speaker 1: I laid me down to sleep, I pray the Lord
Speaker 1: my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake,
Speaker 1: I pray the Lord my soul to take. And I
Speaker 1: remember thinking that's some scary ship like at six, and
Speaker 1: I remember thinking like, am I going to die in
Speaker 1: my sleep? And then I remember going to church and
Speaker 1: just having like a whole bunch of questions and nobody
Speaker 1: ever answering any of my questions and being offended if
Speaker 1: I ever asked questions. And then I just remember being
Speaker 1: very fearful every time I went into church or every
Speaker 1: time I had to like think about God or Jesus.
Speaker 1: It just seemed like this lumin presence over me that
Speaker 1: just had me like in so much fear. And the
Speaker 1: fear was always death, like you know, you do something
Speaker 1: wrong that you just might die out of nowhere and
Speaker 1: go to Hell. And that's that's how I grew up
Speaker 1: thinking about my relationship with God. It's tough karaoke. This
Speaker 1: is gonna take us back to Jefferson City, Tennessee. Circa
Speaker 1: people follow on Instagram and in YouTube, you'll know this song.
Speaker 1: It's one of the kids favor Oh, I think I
Speaker 1: know what it is. Might I've been singing this last night.
Speaker 1: We are love me Jacob Let, We are clamby Jacob Letter,
Speaker 1: We are clamby Jacob Letter, Soldier Oh the ro Yo
Speaker 1: Martha Davis Baptist Church. They used to sing that song.
Speaker 1: Was that like a staple? Was one of my favorite
Speaker 1: songs to sing. Miss Agnes would be on the piano,
Speaker 1: the deacons to be singing. They have their deep voice.
Speaker 1: It was like one of my favorite songs of I
Speaker 1: just want to know real quick, are there any other
Speaker 1: lyrics the song? Or is that just I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just know that they kept saying that part of
Speaker 1: the song and we would just be singing along with
Speaker 1: the And I know your Path will be proud to
Speaker 1: know that this song has been sung to his great grandson,
Speaker 1: Edward Ellis Path. I miss him. He was he had
Speaker 1: Christen cast for us. That was such a special religion
Speaker 1: and family, family and faith. Yes, he was the patriarch
Speaker 1: that I grew up watching my entire lifetile passed and
Speaker 1: not my father. What a good man. Yes, all right,
Speaker 1: let's say a quick break, handle some ads and then
Speaker 1: we'll be right back. Alright, we have a special guest today,
Speaker 1: someone who is a new author, and I'm super proud
Speaker 1: of UM. And when talking about you know, topics for
Speaker 1: this season and what we wanted to kind of encompass
Speaker 1: coming out of our whole pregnancy stint and stuff we
Speaker 1: wanted to touch on a pull different things, UM. And
Speaker 1: when we think about faith and religion, that's always a
Speaker 1: topic that I feel like we can always learn more
Speaker 1: about UM learning from other people's experiences and see how
Speaker 1: God shows up in this podcast for us and for
Speaker 1: everyone else. So today we have with us Christina Price,
Speaker 1: who happens to be a dear friend of ours UM.
Speaker 1: And I think it'll be better if Christina introduces herself,
Speaker 1: because I don't want to leave any of her you
Speaker 1: know hats out, because you wear many hats, Christina, But
Speaker 1: first and foremost a dear friend of ours, and you
Speaker 1: can take it away and just tell everybody a little
Speaker 1: bit about who you are. Yeah, Hey, guys, First of all,
Speaker 1: thank you for having me on. I am so honored
Speaker 1: and blessed to be a part of your podcast today.
Speaker 1: But I am Christina Price. I am a believer of
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. I'm a mom, I'm a career woman working
Speaker 1: in corporate America for the past over sixteen years in
Speaker 1: HR operations. UM, I'm a sister, I'm a friend, and
Speaker 1: just as you said, the latest title that I could
Speaker 1: add to my array of things is an author. I
Speaker 1: just published first book, thank you, UM, this past year
Speaker 1: and it's it's been good. That's good. Devout and I
Speaker 1: have embarked in our book Journey as well too, and
Speaker 1: that's no easy test. It's no easy test. And I
Speaker 1: remember when you reached out to me and you said,
Speaker 1: you know what, I think that I'm being called to
Speaker 1: document this process and to share it with people in
Speaker 1: some capacity. So you were talking to me about like
Speaker 1: a book, and I was just really admired by your
Speaker 1: drive and like you really saying this is something I
Speaker 1: want to do and finding your own way to do it.
Speaker 1: And before I knew it, you had a book, then
Speaker 1: you had an audible, and I was likely way to
Speaker 1: say it, what is this person? And it's never doubt.
Speaker 1: It was just that, you know, sometimes people talk about
Speaker 1: things they want to do, throw it out there, but
Speaker 1: I'm happy to see it come into fruish And so
Speaker 1: I have a copy here of course. UM. Saved by choice. UM,
Speaker 1: so yeah, Christina, mother, career woman, sister, friend author. Her
Speaker 1: book Saved by Choice is a devotional memoir detailing her
Speaker 1: experience in developing a relationship with Christ. She grew up
Speaker 1: in a Hindu household and was introduced to Christianity as
Speaker 1: a teenager, and after falling off or away from faith
Speaker 1: for a while, she wrote Saved by Choice to reconnect
Speaker 1: to God, or as she reconnected to God. So Christina's
Speaker 1: faith is empowered by her freedom of choice, which she
Speaker 1: encourages other exercise as well on a day to day basis.
Speaker 1: And that's what we're going to talk about today. Um
Speaker 1: So Christina, let's dive right in. Did you have any
Speaker 1: questions you wanted to start out with, babe or should
Speaker 1: we just have or tell us about this journey she
Speaker 1: was on. Now, I do have a question what made
Speaker 1: you go from Hinduism to Christianity? Um? I think the
Speaker 1: probably the overarching factor had to be relationship. So growing
Speaker 1: up Hindu, so I'm from a Caribbean family. Um, there
Speaker 1: was a lot of rituals and a lot of traditions
Speaker 1: and a total language that I didn't understand. So it
Speaker 1: was a huge disconnect to follow something that I didn't understand.
Speaker 1: You know, I feel like the generation. You know, we're millennials,
Speaker 1: We're Americans. We have a lot of questions. We want
Speaker 1: to understand the why and the how and and to
Speaker 1: make a connection to things. And when I would ask,
Speaker 1: you know, I would get ostracized just for asking a question.
Speaker 1: And sometimes my parents are the people around me didn't
Speaker 1: even know the answer. It was just such tradition that
Speaker 1: was passed on from generation to generation, and it's just
Speaker 1: this is how our parents did it, so we continue
Speaker 1: to do it. And I couldn't find up to that,
Speaker 1: like I needed to understand what I was praying to
Speaker 1: how I was praying, what I was saying, and what
Speaker 1: it meant. Ultimately, so Hinduism that disc connected also understanding
Speaker 1: them the idols that they would worship too. It was
Speaker 1: a bit um off putting to me. It just didn't
Speaker 1: look anything that was safe or you know, something that
Speaker 1: I would even want to um worship too. So so
Speaker 1: for me when I was introduced to Christianity actually by
Speaker 1: my mom who was Hindu and she converted to Christianity, UM,
Speaker 1: it was understanding who Jesus was and building that relationship.
Speaker 1: So it was more so taking away from the rituals
Speaker 1: of doing this to be blessed versus you know, making
Speaker 1: a connection with someone to understand what love is for
Speaker 1: myself to then be able to transcend that to others.
Speaker 1: So I would definitely say it's the relationship MCOs we
Speaker 1: can all relate in that sense that we had some
Speaker 1: sort of uh disconnect or just kind of fear or
Speaker 1: an uneasy feeling about the traditions of religions. I know,
Speaker 1: for me, growing up seven day Adventist, I was always wondering,
Speaker 1: you know, why I couldn't wear pants to church? Like
Speaker 1: that was just something to me that was just so
Speaker 1: in the time miniscule, and I'm starting like, okay, so
Speaker 1: God is going to feel a way if I came
Speaker 1: to church wearing this pants suit, you know, like is
Speaker 1: it really something that I should be cast out for?
Speaker 1: Or wearing earrings? You know, it was something we're in
Speaker 1: the morning. If I'm coming downstairs, my grandmother's like, take
Speaker 1: off your earrings. You can't wear those to church? And
Speaker 1: I'm like, why can't I show up as I am? What?
Speaker 1: You know, it was more about um, the other human
Speaker 1: beings in the building versus what God was really thinking
Speaker 1: of me showing up. And they would say come as
Speaker 1: you are. But if you did come as you were,
Speaker 1: then you were prepared to be looked at sideways? You know,
Speaker 1: did you have that experienced pa, Oh hell yeah, well
Speaker 1: I'm nean not say that this episode. Yeah, there was
Speaker 1: a connection with church and me. That connection was fear.
Speaker 1: You know, like everything through church just seemed painful. We
Speaker 1: went to Bethlehem Baptist Academy. They used to eat us there,
Speaker 1: you know, like it just seemed like everything was very controlling. Um,
Speaker 1: they didn't appreciate or like free thinkers, people who asked
Speaker 1: questions or people who bucked against the system. For example,
Speaker 1: even at our Churchurre we grew up, Salele Missionary Baptist Church,
Speaker 1: we sung come as you are every time we asked
Speaker 1: people to come to the altar. But women were not
Speaker 1: allowed to wear pants. You know church as well too.
Speaker 1: Year they well they would say they preferred, it was
Speaker 1: never not allowed, but women that wore pants. There was
Speaker 1: always that undertone if there were women wearing pants. When
Speaker 1: when the pastor got up to speak, he would make
Speaker 1: mentions of women wearing pants, or if they cut their hair,
Speaker 1: it's a women's hair as her crown and um. Even
Speaker 1: with men, you know, if you didn't wear a jacket
Speaker 1: to church, if you just wore a sweater and you
Speaker 1: you know, or just wore a shirt with a tie.
Speaker 1: You know, it was always spoke about like men should
Speaker 1: a jackets or it wasn't even just the rules on women,
Speaker 1: it was just rules on the tire in general. And
Speaker 1: I was just like, yeah, I'm not feeling this. Did
Speaker 1: your mom take you to Hindu I guess where is
Speaker 1: it as a temple or what did that look like
Speaker 1: for you? Yeah, it's called him Mander And she totally did.
Speaker 1: And it's the same thing, you know. I felt like
Speaker 1: it was a fashion show you kind of walk in
Speaker 1: to see who had the latest stories or who had
Speaker 1: the latest outfits. Um, And I felt it was hypocritical
Speaker 1: because it's the same thing you're walking in, people are
Speaker 1: looking at what you're wearing, probably judging you for what
Speaker 1: you're doing, who you are in your life, and totally
Speaker 1: taking the attention off of God and putting it on
Speaker 1: other people, which is not where the focus should be.
Speaker 1: So I do think that that deters I know that
Speaker 1: that deters people from religion because we're a judgmental society,
Speaker 1: Like we just look at people and want to judge
Speaker 1: based on their actions or their appearances, and not look
Speaker 1: on the inner man, which is what we should be doing.
Speaker 1: And it's unfortunate because that, I do believe it causes
Speaker 1: that church hurt that make people just shy away from
Speaker 1: the whole religion and God in general. What what trips
Speaker 1: me out is that. And I've heard one pastor say
Speaker 1: to me, you know, you shouldn't judge people who come
Speaker 1: to church because if you go to a hospital to
Speaker 1: get fixed, everybody in the hospital is broken, right, so
Speaker 1: everyone is sick. So when you go to church, don't
Speaker 1: go to church looking for perfect people, because then you're
Speaker 1: just as guilty as the people who are doing the judging.
Speaker 1: My head, I was gonna say something similar, it's about
Speaker 1: the gym, to like, oh, don't make people in the
Speaker 1: gym trying to get their body back in order. But
Speaker 1: my thing is when the leaders of the church are
Speaker 1: the ones responsible for shaming people who are sick for
Speaker 1: coming into the church, that to me is a problem.
Speaker 1: You know, every church is about leadership, and even the
Speaker 1: Bible Ist says three fourths of the churches are going
Speaker 1: to do it wrong when they try to do you know, church,
Speaker 1: you know, it's going to be done wrong, which means
Speaker 1: the vast majority of the churches we see are messed up.
Speaker 1: So how do you know you at the right church?
Speaker 1: You know? And not only is it being controlling, but
Speaker 1: it's also a huge business. Church is a huge business
Speaker 1: in America. All these mega churches with a bunch of
Speaker 1: money and private jets and big arenas just seemed like
Speaker 1: a huge show, you know. And and the connection is
Speaker 1: the most important part. But it's hard to practice your
Speaker 1: religion when the religion is encompasses everything else outside that
Speaker 1: so worldly for sure. Do you know what influenced your
Speaker 1: mom to go from Hinduism to Koeni Christianity? Did she
Speaker 1: ever tell you why? That is a great question, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I would I would. I would think
Speaker 1: it's her friends, because I know that she had a
Speaker 1: lot of friends that were around her that probably that
Speaker 1: definitely introduced it. But I don't know what that turning
Speaker 1: factor was because she converted maybe about three or four
Speaker 1: years right before she passed away, so it was like
Speaker 1: I feel like it was like a pretty quick timeline
Speaker 1: of it all. Mm hmm. What was that experience like
Speaker 1: for you transitioning from Hindu to Christianity, And did you
Speaker 1: ever feel any kind of guilt or can fusion or
Speaker 1: that you were maybe intern shaming some of your family
Speaker 1: for stepping out, because I know you did mention in
Speaker 1: your book, Um that you were on this, uh, this
Speaker 1: path or this journey, and you said most of your
Speaker 1: family and friends were just like, oh no, Christina just
Speaker 1: drank this proverbial kool aid. As you put it's like
Speaker 1: they're just like, they're not understanding what went on here. Honestly,
Speaker 1: they still don't know what to do with me or
Speaker 1: where to put me. Um, And I know where you
Speaker 1: stay right, but it's it's it's okay because well the
Speaker 1: first part of that question, that I feel any guilt, No,
Speaker 1: I've never felt any guilt because I felt once I
Speaker 1: made this choice and it felt it gave me peace.
Speaker 1: I knew it was the right thing to do. Um. Now,
Speaker 1: operating in a in an environment that hasn't changed, but
Speaker 1: you've changed, is very unique because I know that they're
Speaker 1: now looking to me to see how I represent I
Speaker 1: felt as a Christian. And I also know what prejudice
Speaker 1: feels like. I know what it feels like to be judged,
Speaker 1: and I'm not trying to portray that on them because
Speaker 1: their views are different from me. So I'm not more
Speaker 1: focused on them. I'm focused on myself, Like, how do
Speaker 1: I represent myself to represent Christ in a way that
Speaker 1: is appealing to them, because at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: I want them all to be saved as well. But
Speaker 1: if I'm over here calling them, you know, just throw
Speaker 1: in the Bible at their faces every day and judging
Speaker 1: them for all of that they're doing, it's not going
Speaker 1: to encourage them or show them a different path. So
Speaker 1: it's it's pretty hard, um to operate in this space
Speaker 1: of just being the only Christian because they're they're still Hindu. Um.
Speaker 1: But I don't I don't judge, I don't make them
Speaker 1: feel any different, and I just try to love them
Speaker 1: in the best way that I can. That again, shows
Speaker 1: Christ through my behavior and my actions. M that's a
Speaker 1: good that's a good strategy. How do you work to
Speaker 1: or not work too? But how do you, I guess,
Speaker 1: encourage them to maybe seek God in their own way
Speaker 1: or their own path, Like do you have things that
Speaker 1: you do or you try to include them somehow, maybe
Speaker 1: inviting them to churn. Oh yeah, I think I invite
Speaker 1: them every week to come to church. It's now to
Speaker 1: a point where they don't even respond to me. They're
Speaker 1: not they're not going to a Christian as much as
Speaker 1: they love me, they're they're just not going to do it.
Speaker 1: And look, I get it, because everybody has to come
Speaker 1: at everything at their own time. Like, I can't force
Speaker 1: you to want something in the time that I want.
Speaker 1: But I'm not gonna stop. It's not gonna stop me
Speaker 1: from inviting you. It's not going to stop me from
Speaker 1: praying for you. It's not going to stop me from
Speaker 1: from loving you in a way that I can do
Speaker 1: so with the piece that I have to give. So
Speaker 1: it's I guess what I'm trying to say. I just
Speaker 1: don't stop, and I don't take it personal if they
Speaker 1: don't want to come either, Like I know, it's not
Speaker 1: a luck. I have a question. This is my belief,
Speaker 1: all right. I believe that God exists, but I also
Speaker 1: believe that God shows himself in many forms. So I
Speaker 1: do also believe that you can find God through Hinduism,
Speaker 1: through Christianity, through Islam, through Judaism. I feel like you
Speaker 1: can find God in different types of religions. You know what,
Speaker 1: I'm saying, I don't think that you have to choose one,
Speaker 1: because if you think about it, if you have to
Speaker 1: choose one, whichever one you choose, you feel like every
Speaker 1: other religion is going to hell. That to me does
Speaker 1: not seem very godlike. You know what I'm saying, What
Speaker 1: are your thoughts on that? Well? As a Christian, to
Speaker 1: get to heaven, it is believing that Jesus Christ is
Speaker 1: the Son of God. And I agree that everyone has
Speaker 1: their different truths and they believe that their truth is
Speaker 1: the right truth. Um, but it's it's it's hard to
Speaker 1: it would be blasphemous for me to say as a
Speaker 1: as a Christian to say that the views of of
Speaker 1: Islam or Hinduism is right, because that's not my truth.
Speaker 1: So I just feel it's going to be dependent on
Speaker 1: what you choose to learn and what you choose to accept.
Speaker 1: So the same thing with the you know, with the book,
Speaker 1: it's like, although we're saved by grace, like I really
Speaker 1: highlight your choices in every aspect of the matter, because
Speaker 1: your choices is what leads to your behaviors and ultimately
Speaker 1: leads to where you're going to be. So it's it's
Speaker 1: really going to be a personal choice for you as
Speaker 1: to what you believe your truth is and how you
Speaker 1: will get there and how you see God. So as
Speaker 1: a Christian again, for me, it's through Jesus, that's how
Speaker 1: we get to Heaven. That's how we're saved. And this
Speaker 1: is the reason why I asked that is because I
Speaker 1: feel like through the practices of Christianity or Hinduism, it's
Speaker 1: how you make the right choices in life. Right, if
Speaker 1: you practice discipline, if you practice being a cheerful giver.
Speaker 1: These are things that religion tries to teach people how
Speaker 1: to constantly make good, conscious choices with God and mind. Right. Um,
Speaker 1: we had a cousin that told us God to him
Speaker 1: just meant good orderly direction, which means that you didn't
Speaker 1: necessarily have to pick with religion. But if you use
Speaker 1: the direction passed down through profits from God, you'll always
Speaker 1: be on the right path. And not for nothing. That
Speaker 1: made me feel the most comfortable, because I personally don't
Speaker 1: want to have to feel like I have to condemn
Speaker 1: other people in order for me to go to heaven,
Speaker 1: you know, Like that was one of the biggest questions
Speaker 1: I had as a young man because my godmother was
Speaker 1: Puerto Rican, she was Catholic, we grew a Baptist. There's
Speaker 1: completely different traditional beliefs in Catholicism and then Baptist Baptist religion.
Speaker 1: And I felt like, so realistically, if I'm Baptist, I
Speaker 1: would have to believe that Catholics are going to Hell,
Speaker 1: or if I was Catholic, I would have to believe
Speaker 1: that Baptist are going to Hell because we don't do confession,
Speaker 1: which to me just seemed like a practice created by man.
Speaker 1: And also thinking that I know so many amazing people
Speaker 1: who are Jews or are we not amazing Muslim people?
Speaker 1: So like those people who are as we know to
Speaker 1: be really raising good human beings, I don't being lost
Speaker 1: because they were introduced to God a certain way, you
Speaker 1: know what, Like for example, what if you were introduced
Speaker 1: to God through Hinduism your whole life and you just
Speaker 1: practiced every single thing to be the best Hindu person
Speaker 1: that you could be. I just can't first see God
Speaker 1: saying you go to hell because you didn't find Jesus,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And the same thing for Christianity.
Speaker 1: I can't see someone who follows Christianity the best they
Speaker 1: can and follow us the practices and really lived with good,
Speaker 1: orderly direction being told now you're going to hell because
Speaker 1: you didn't do it to that point, but do you
Speaker 1: also think it can be based on their exposure because
Speaker 1: we're raised and we're grown to absolutely yeah, to adapt
Speaker 1: to know what we know. So and and of course
Speaker 1: to your point earlier about you know, a lot of
Speaker 1: these traditions are man made. They definitely are, and they
Speaker 1: kind of get away from from what who God is,
Speaker 1: which is just being of love and sharing love and
Speaker 1: loving one another. Um. But that that exposure, I think
Speaker 1: it also leads to people's train of thoughts. So just
Speaker 1: kind of tying it back to what you said, it's like,
Speaker 1: do you think that although we know of all these
Speaker 1: good jew people, all these good Islam people, all everything,
Speaker 1: it's just based on everyone's exposure at their time of
Speaker 1: their life and where they are in the world. So
Speaker 1: it's just it's just it's just so hard to kind
Speaker 1: of say. I guess what I'm trying to say. It's
Speaker 1: it's not that it's not my place to condemn anyone
Speaker 1: because my belief is different from there. That's that's not
Speaker 1: where I'm coming at. And that's not where I where
Speaker 1: my religion where I see God to be. So I
Speaker 1: I totally hear your aspect of it, but I just
Speaker 1: kind of want to put that spin on the exposure
Speaker 1: part of it too, because depending on where people aren't
Speaker 1: who they are in their lives, it's things now. And
Speaker 1: I agree with you on that, because the exposure is
Speaker 1: is how you practice your walk with God. You know,
Speaker 1: if you find God in a certain way or a
Speaker 1: certain region of the world, you may not be introduced
Speaker 1: to different religions. You're introduced to that particular religion. But um,
Speaker 1: that goes to what our theme for this season has
Speaker 1: been so far, and the theme has been to not
Speaker 1: shame people who live differently than you, regardless of what
Speaker 1: they're sexual orientation is, their religious beliefs, their financial uh
Speaker 1: decisions are. How about we learn to listen to people
Speaker 1: who think differently from us, try to understand their perspective.
Speaker 1: And you don't even have to agree, but let's agree
Speaker 1: not to shame them, you know, and for me, that
Speaker 1: would help a lot of people when it comes to religion,
Speaker 1: because religion, not so much spirituality, because there is a difference,
Speaker 1: but religion is big on shaming you know, and when
Speaker 1: I was growing up, it was a lot of finger
Speaker 1: pointing don't, don't, don't. You know. It was always just don't, don't,
Speaker 1: or you better do this, or you're going to hell.
Speaker 1: You know. That was just that's what turned me off
Speaker 1: to religion. And a lot of people when they write
Speaker 1: in they asked us about the kids, and this is
Speaker 1: what I want to ask you. Um. They said, what
Speaker 1: are you going to introduce to your children? Because you
Speaker 1: grew up seven day inventors, I grew up Baptists. How
Speaker 1: are we going to introduce to them? And under what circumstance?
Speaker 1: And a lot of times I'm like, shoot, I don't
Speaker 1: I don't even really know. I'm afraid we still struggle
Speaker 1: with um, I think, and you know, we have the
Speaker 1: children saying grace over their food, and we have them
Speaker 1: saying their prayers at night and things like that. Um.
Speaker 1: But I remember talking to Cairo and we were saying
Speaker 1: grace and he was like, you know, why why do
Speaker 1: we saying grace? Because you know, our five year old
Speaker 1: Cairo is very intuitive and he'd been here before us,
Speaker 1: so he was to know exactly why we're doing what
Speaker 1: we're doing. Because I don't if it coincides with his
Speaker 1: past life. But anyway, he was literally like, so, so
Speaker 1: why are we assize that, well, we're thanking God for
Speaker 1: the food that we have, because some people don't have food. Um,
Speaker 1: they don't have a restaurant to go to. Because this
Speaker 1: is actually when we were on our date together, um
Speaker 1: and everything. And he was like kind of processing it,
Speaker 1: and I could see the little wheels in his head turning,
Speaker 1: And in that moment, I was wondering, am I doing
Speaker 1: him a disservice by not having a better answer or
Speaker 1: you know, being able to give him a little bit
Speaker 1: more direction or should he be in Sunday School or
Speaker 1: stab at school? You know? So, uh, in piggybacking off
Speaker 1: of a devous question, what do you think about that? Chris? Yeah,
Speaker 1: So my kids, I think have seen the transformation in me,
Speaker 1: probably more closely than anybody. Um. So they're teenagers now too. Well,
Speaker 1: I guess when I when I've recommitted and I really
Speaker 1: started to submit myself to God, they were early teens.
Speaker 1: So it's to an age where they're a little bit
Speaker 1: older than Cairo, where they can, you know, they can
Speaker 1: practice things a little bit more. And then they're also
Speaker 1: coming into their own wanting to make their own decisions.
Speaker 1: So I realized that I couldn't just again just shove
Speaker 1: the Bible down their throat and make them, you know,
Speaker 1: want to believe into something that I say is okay,
Speaker 1: even though I'm their mom, this has to be a
Speaker 1: personal decision for themselves because ultimately it's it's it's how
Speaker 1: they're going to choose to live their life. So you know,
Speaker 1: I'm under the accord that I don't want the world
Speaker 1: to teach them how to live. Like I feel like
Speaker 1: they should be grounded, they should have a foundation before
Speaker 1: they head out into the world because they're gonna they're
Speaker 1: gonna be hit with so many different you know, societal pressures, opinions,
Speaker 1: all of these different things. So I just wanted to
Speaker 1: have a foundation that they can always come back to.
Speaker 1: That's my hope. You know, the Bible says raise up
Speaker 1: a child in the way that you want some when
Speaker 1: he's older, he won't depart. So that's that's my That
Speaker 1: was my goal. And I knew again I couldn't do
Speaker 1: it by just like sit down like and I tried.
Speaker 1: I was like, every day, we're gonna sit down and
Speaker 1: we're gonna read the chapter of the Bible, and it
Speaker 1: was like talking to the wall, like nobody's nobody's listening
Speaker 1: to me. Like it was just painful. So I kind
Speaker 1: of had to just take a step back and just say,
Speaker 1: you know what, they're going to see it through me,
Speaker 1: like they're going to see it through my actions. They're
Speaker 1: gonna see how I how you know, if I'm gonna
Speaker 1: speak it, I have to live it. So how am
Speaker 1: I interacting with other people? How am I interacting with
Speaker 1: their father who you know, he and I had a
Speaker 1: really contentious relationship, so they could see like God working
Speaker 1: through me to try to show more love. How am
Speaker 1: I helping my community? How am I how am I
Speaker 1: being to them, you know, like you know, between my
Speaker 1: my stress and my patience level and let them make
Speaker 1: their own decision. And sure enough, you know, of course
Speaker 1: I prayed for it to like I pray for everything,
Speaker 1: so just praying on that, I think. But I know
Speaker 1: that they saw the difference and it was something that
Speaker 1: day they decided to kind of also follow. So they chose,
Speaker 1: they chose God, and you know, last year they were baptized,
Speaker 1: and it just wants my heart because again it's just
Speaker 1: always something for them to fall back on and as
Speaker 1: they go through life. Like it's not saying that because
Speaker 1: you're a Christian you're not going to go through any
Speaker 1: hard times. No, not at all. It's just knowing that
Speaker 1: you have something to always fall back on and someone
Speaker 1: who is always with you. So that was my goal
Speaker 1: with them. Mhm. You mentioned or you touched on their
Speaker 1: relations or your relationship rather with their dad who you're
Speaker 1: now divorced. Um. And I know that in that there
Speaker 1: was you know, you trying to also find yourself now Christina,
Speaker 1: single woman again, divorced and all that, and that was
Speaker 1: a process in itself. So would you say that that
Speaker 1: was one of the major turning points in your life
Speaker 1: that made you feel like you wanted to now change
Speaker 1: or seek christ I noticed that a lot of people
Speaker 1: go through some sort of um, either trauma or events
Speaker 1: or some sort of um experience where they feel like
Speaker 1: they need to fall back on something or lean on something.
Speaker 1: And was the main driving voice for you to really
Speaker 1: um strengthen this relationship or find this relationship? Yeah, yeah, totally. Um.
Speaker 1: Right before this, I was listening to a sermon by
Speaker 1: Tony Ovens and he said, your greatest ministries are through
Speaker 1: your greatest miseries, And I like, I thought of my
Speaker 1: divorce immediately because that was something so aside from my
Speaker 1: mom dying, like that, my divorce was the second biggest
Speaker 1: death in my life. Like it was something that of
Speaker 1: course I didn't want, but it just impacted me in
Speaker 1: ways that I didn't respect the weight at that time,
Speaker 1: because life happens and you kind of just keep moving.
Speaker 1: You gotta you gotta just survived, so you don't really
Speaker 1: take time to heal or take time to understand the
Speaker 1: feelings that you're going through. So around the time where
Speaker 1: I really resubmitted was after the divorce, where I just
Speaker 1: kind of hit rock bottoms, Like anxiety was just like
Speaker 1: gripping me. I was depressed. I was blaming everybody like
Speaker 1: I was a vic him. Everybody makes a problem, not me,
Speaker 1: everybody else was everybody else was a problem, and I
Speaker 1: just couldn't keep running like that. Um and now becoming
Speaker 1: a newly single mom having a co parent with someone
Speaker 1: I just didn't like, It's like, how do I even
Speaker 1: operate in the space where you know, it's just so
Speaker 1: new to me, my my peers, no one else is
Speaker 1: going through this situation so I feel like I'm kind
Speaker 1: of spearheading all of this, nowhere to run or turn to.
Speaker 1: So it did lead me back to God to kind
Speaker 1: of say, you know what, I can't do this by myself,
Speaker 1: Like I can't do this on my own. Just help me,
Speaker 1: show me how to maneuver, how to guy, and just
Speaker 1: how to guide through all of this. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: would definitely say that. You know, it's funny to hear
Speaker 1: you talk about that. I you, spirituality is my way
Speaker 1: to understand that I'm not going to understand or be
Speaker 1: able to control everything. You know, some people go to
Speaker 1: therapy because like I need to fix all my problems
Speaker 1: and figure around all the everything in my life. Spirituality
Speaker 1: taught me that you don't even have the capability to
Speaker 1: understand or fix everything in your life, and that's okay.
Speaker 1: You know, sometimes it's okay to close your eyes, meditate,
Speaker 1: let things go, and let God handle it. You know,
Speaker 1: he'll give you the strength to control the things you
Speaker 1: can but the things you can't control, you need to
Speaker 1: let that go and let God handle that. Spirituality taught
Speaker 1: me how to handle that because before I found my
Speaker 1: place of peace, I was trying to control every aspect
Speaker 1: of my life and I felt a lot like you.
Speaker 1: I felt like I can't control this. My kids don't
Speaker 1: listen to me, and my wife always arguing me, and
Speaker 1: my friends don't get along. I'm not where I want
Speaker 1: to be in my career right now, and I was
Speaker 1: just like, why I'm doing everything that I'm supposed to do.
Speaker 1: And it almost hit me like a light bulb. You know,
Speaker 1: you can't control every aspect of your life takes. And
Speaker 1: the more you try, yeah, the more loss you are.
Speaker 1: And that pressure you put on yourself to control it,
Speaker 1: it starts to mount and you can't get from underneath
Speaker 1: that pressure, and that's where the depression comes from. So
Speaker 1: that's how spirituality helped me. So I could definitely relate
Speaker 1: to what Chris talked about this for sure. So tell
Speaker 1: us about the book, Christina, say my choice, Um, what
Speaker 1: is that choice that you believe we all have to make?
Speaker 1: And how can we dive into your book and learn
Speaker 1: a little bit more about that? Yeah? So you know,
Speaker 1: the book is really a guide again. It it centers
Speaker 1: around Christianity, so it shows, um, it talks about God's love,
Speaker 1: it talks about worship, it talks about understanding your identity. UM.
Speaker 1: And the choice behind that is that you you have
Speaker 1: to make the choice to want to accept these things.
Speaker 1: You have to make the choice to want to accept
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ into your heart. You have to make the
Speaker 1: choice to want to accept God's love into your heart.
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of time times we UM,
Speaker 1: we underestimate the power of choice because we kind of
Speaker 1: just let life happen to us and we just like
Speaker 1: to take things as they come, UM, but don't realize
Speaker 1: that we have that power to choose right or wrong. UM.
Speaker 1: So I really wanted to reinforce that, even through all
Speaker 1: the fundamentals of understanding who God is, understanding who Jesus is,
Speaker 1: and using my experiences to to share UM so that
Speaker 1: people can relate to it. I wanted to highlight the
Speaker 1: choice and that to put it back to the reader
Speaker 1: to say, Okay, well, today, as you hear this information,
Speaker 1: what will the choice be for you to do to
Speaker 1: better yourself? Um? And its action plan? No, And it's
Speaker 1: like you guys talk about this all the time. It's
Speaker 1: just like we can't be lazy, Like we can't. We
Speaker 1: have to put the work to want to better ourselves
Speaker 1: to then better the people around us, and not allowing
Speaker 1: ourselves to be that victim. And I'm not saying that
Speaker 1: traumatic things don't happen in life. They absolutely do. Um,
Speaker 1: but at some point we all have to want to
Speaker 1: just be an active participant in our life and just
Speaker 1: not allow things to happen to us. So that is
Speaker 1: really just what I wanted to drive home in the book,
Speaker 1: and just you know, again sharing my experiences about God,
Speaker 1: talking about him, but then really turning it back to
Speaker 1: the reader to say, Okay, what you gonna do, like,
Speaker 1: what your choice is going to be in all of
Speaker 1: these matters. M hm. That's interesting because at no point
Speaker 1: when I was growing up, or maybe I was just
Speaker 1: too young to understand, because I ain't gonna lie. You're
Speaker 1: sitting a Baptist church and then the preachers of it
Speaker 1: to talk for an hour. It's just words in the
Speaker 1: Adventage church is two hours of words flying over your head.
Speaker 1: But the idea that the choice is yours and you
Speaker 1: have to be deliberate about choosing God doesn't sound like fear.
Speaker 1: But growing up, all I ever heard or thought about
Speaker 1: was fear as opposed to a choice, you know, and
Speaker 1: then they preach to us that God is love, God
Speaker 1: is love. God is love. But if you don't listen,
Speaker 1: you go to die or hell. Mean you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Okay, I think the title of the book
Speaker 1: is so appropriate. Say by choice, that this is a
Speaker 1: deliberate choice that you have to make. And then, like
Speaker 1: you said in the book, Christina, being obedient to the
Speaker 1: word in your practice and how you you move through life.
Speaker 1: You know. But yeah, I can't agree. I can't agree
Speaker 1: with that, baby right, But it sounds like a good
Speaker 1: a good way to even introduce it to your teenagers,
Speaker 1: you know. Um, I personally, I feel like kids may
Speaker 1: be too young to ever understand the power of God
Speaker 1: or even the power of choice. So trying to explain
Speaker 1: the principles associated with religion to a five or six
Speaker 1: year old is going to lead any five or six
Speaker 1: year old to feel like fear is the only thing
Speaker 1: I'm getting here. I remars, looked at me, looked at
Speaker 1: me confused, like I'm gonna listen to you because your
Speaker 1: mom right, food, But I still don't know why I'm
Speaker 1: doing it. Start to traditions and just rituals and just
Speaker 1: things that you do, It's like, damn, kids just really
Speaker 1: hit you with stuff as a parent where you're just like,
Speaker 1: why am I doing this? You know, and then you
Speaker 1: have to find a way to break it down and
Speaker 1: you know, make it a lesson. Um, so yeah, I
Speaker 1: still learn. It's a learning process for us. No, But
Speaker 1: I think with Jackson, though he's yeah, I could see
Speaker 1: him opening up a book, reading a scripture and then saying,
Speaker 1: how does this apply to my life? For sure? Attend
Speaker 1: he can definitely do that. That seems like a more
Speaker 1: mature way to introduce religion. Not that you want to
Speaker 1: wait till their tend, but we wait for certain ages
Speaker 1: to talk to our kids about stuff. We talk to
Speaker 1: our kids about drugs, alcohol, sex, life at a certain age. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The level of comprehension always grows as the older. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I feel like that pre teenage is a good age.
Speaker 1: Just start saying, listen, your spirituality, your choice. You have
Speaker 1: to figure out how are you gonna make that choice,
Speaker 1: as opposed to pressuring them in here are the tools.
Speaker 1: So god Mother, Christina, how appropriate? Jeez, Jackson's god mother,
Speaker 1: Maybe you can find an age appropriate book for him
Speaker 1: that we can start to maybe do little devotionals with him,
Speaker 1: so that way he can just at least be introduced
Speaker 1: to it to see this is something age appropriate. He
Speaker 1: can comprehend this homework. You got listen up. I take
Speaker 1: I take it gladly. But you know what, I also
Speaker 1: don't want to put the pressure around books, especially the Bible.
Speaker 1: Bible can be very over overwhelming, and it's like you
Speaker 1: can you can pick a chapter and it's talking about death,
Speaker 1: but then you can pick another chapter just talking about love,
Speaker 1: and it's just talking about all the good things. So
Speaker 1: it's it's I feel like it's very hard to kind
Speaker 1: of just say go into the Bible and and just
Speaker 1: find your way. I really believe it's going to be
Speaker 1: through action. It's going to be how how we treat others,
Speaker 1: and then how we relate that back to God. That's
Speaker 1: that's going to be the powerful thing. Because they're looking
Speaker 1: at us and they they want to be like us
Speaker 1: at the end of the day. So if we're and
Speaker 1: we could tell them to do all of these things
Speaker 1: but then act the complete opposite, which will confuse them
Speaker 1: as well too. So and so what do you have
Speaker 1: to say about people who don't go to church? They say,
Speaker 1: I don't go to church, but I have my own
Speaker 1: relationship with God and I live a good life and
Speaker 1: I'm good to people. Can that be true for you
Speaker 1: to have a relationship with God and not be in church? Like,
Speaker 1: is that feasible? And is it? Um? Does that impact
Speaker 1: your connection? I guess or the strength of your connection.
Speaker 1: I go to church really for the community aspect of
Speaker 1: it all. Um, I go to be a part of
Speaker 1: the body of Christ. Um. You don't have to go
Speaker 1: to church to be a good Christian. I don't even
Speaker 1: know what this good Christian title is that. Um. I
Speaker 1: feel church is one day a week. I mean, what
Speaker 1: you go in there and you retain is not going
Speaker 1: to last you through seven days of just different trials
Speaker 1: and tribulations that you may go through. So I feel
Speaker 1: like the churches is it's just a building. It's just
Speaker 1: a place where we can commune. It's really what you
Speaker 1: do every day of your life. It's how are you
Speaker 1: connecting to God and strengthening your relationship? Just as how
Speaker 1: you guys are married, you work every day to strengthen
Speaker 1: your relationship. How are you strengthening your relationship with God
Speaker 1: every day? Minus the building? The building is just a
Speaker 1: plot to me. It's just like it's this thing that
Speaker 1: I can go and congregate and be with other people
Speaker 1: and be part of the community and be in the
Speaker 1: body of Christ. But it's it's not the end all
Speaker 1: be all, too where I need to go there to
Speaker 1: feel connected to God. One of the men that he
Speaker 1: used to go to the gym, I was an older man.
Speaker 1: He was Islamic. That kind of made me really think
Speaker 1: about spirituality. He said to me, even about church or
Speaker 1: going to mosque. He said, he carries his church with
Speaker 1: him every day and how he presents himself to people.
Speaker 1: And that was like very interesting to me because he
Speaker 1: was just like, I could invite you to my church
Speaker 1: or my mass or my synagogue, but you may or
Speaker 1: may not come. But when you're in my presence in
Speaker 1: that moment, you're in the presence of my church and
Speaker 1: my God, and it's my responsibility to share my church
Speaker 1: experience with you every time I come across people. That
Speaker 1: goes back to what you said, you see in your behavior,
Speaker 1: your interaction, your interaction, And what he was saying to
Speaker 1: me was you don't have to try to convert people
Speaker 1: if you carry God with you all the time. God
Speaker 1: exists in all of us at all times, and it
Speaker 1: resonated with me. But he's not Christian, He's Islamic. So
Speaker 1: to me it was like, wow, why did these words
Speaker 1: resonate with me so much? And he does not practice
Speaker 1: what I grew up practicing, but what he's saying sounds
Speaker 1: like what I thought church was gonna be. You see
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So um as far as taking people
Speaker 1: to church or going to church, he says he goes
Speaker 1: when he can, but he doesn't go quote unquote religiously
Speaker 1: because it hasn't become a tradition. But he carries it
Speaker 1: and he doesn't mind talking to people or answering questions.
Speaker 1: I even asked myself, you a pastor like and he's
Speaker 1: just like, no, I'm just a man of God. And
Speaker 1: I was like, man, even the humbleness reminded me of
Speaker 1: like Jesus, you know, because they said Jesus was amongst
Speaker 1: the thieves, you know, the thieves and the horses. He
Speaker 1: was around everyone. He didn't hide in some little mosque
Speaker 1: with synagogue a church and say come seek me. He
Speaker 1: was out. So I was like, man, that's it's interesting
Speaker 1: how much of all these different religions kind of cross paths.
Speaker 1: And that's what made me feel like God can present
Speaker 1: himself to so many things. Oh yeah, and just thinking
Speaker 1: about different ways that God shows himself or just sends
Speaker 1: out confirmation. Think about we have a quick story about
Speaker 1: be going out to your rap dinner. Oh man, that
Speaker 1: was this moment, Christina, and I've did mean to tell
Speaker 1: you about it. We and at the wrap dinner for
Speaker 1: we had an impromptu rap dinner because you know, because
Speaker 1: of COVID, there was nothing planned. So a couple of
Speaker 1: the casts mats that were still here we got together
Speaker 1: and Pastor John Gray ran into Crystal at the basketball game,
Speaker 1: so him and his wife came. So we had no
Speaker 1: plans for you know, anyone or any clergy to be there.
Speaker 1: The dinner was supposed to go from a dinner downstairs
Speaker 1: to the cigar bar, which was advocate party all this
Speaker 1: other stuff. It ended up becoming like a devotion because, uh,
Speaker 1: John Gray prayed over us and pretty much spoke what
Speaker 1: he saw happening for all of us. Right, But that's
Speaker 1: not even the best part. We were there until about
Speaker 1: three in the morning. They kept the restaurant open for us.
Speaker 1: They didn't push us out. It was almost like we
Speaker 1: were having church in the restaurant. We leave everybody's gone.
Speaker 1: Our driver was a little bit late. So we're sitting
Speaker 1: there waiting and a homeless guy walks over to us.
Speaker 1: And if I was about to leave to go back
Speaker 1: inside to the bathroom, and I laughed and I was like,
Speaker 1: don't leave me. This homeless guy's coming over here, Like,
Speaker 1: don't leave me. I can't by myself. So first of all,
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to leave the homeless. She told that
Speaker 1: story as if I saw the homeless guy coming and
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going back. Both of us were
Speaker 1: still there, But let me get back to my story.
Speaker 1: Thomas guys coming over to us, and he just walks
Speaker 1: over to us and he says something told me to
Speaker 1: pray over you guys. Yes, completely well spoken, you know,
Speaker 1: he just seemed like a man that maybe just was
Speaker 1: on hard times, but it was just like f off.
Speaker 1: He started the conversation by saying, hey, y'all look nice,
Speaker 1: and we were just like, oh, thank you. He was
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, I got kids. I was like yeah,
Speaker 1: four boys, and he's man, four boys. Wow. Wow. Then
Speaker 1: he leaves across the street and turns around and comes
Speaker 1: back and he was like, can I have like another
Speaker 1: minute or two of your time? Something told me to
Speaker 1: pray over y'all and Christina as if we weren't crying
Speaker 1: inside that restaurant, Like my eyes are literally tearing up
Speaker 1: thinking about it again. Right, He literally prayed over our lives,
Speaker 1: our kids. He prayed for protection, protection, and abundance. Abundance, yes,
Speaker 1: like God what. So we were blown away by the
Speaker 1: whole thing because I was prepared to just say, oh,
Speaker 1: I was gonna give him a couple of dollars or
Speaker 1: something like that, but he blessed us more then we
Speaker 1: could have ever blessed him. Then he walked away, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't want to cheap in a
Speaker 1: moment by giving him something, but I feel like I should.
Speaker 1: So we called him back and we ended up giving
Speaker 1: him a gift, and he didn't even really seem that
Speaker 1: interested in it, to be honest. He just came back
Speaker 1: and he's like, oh, thanks, No, we appreciate you, brother.
Speaker 1: Because if you just know the church we had in there,
Speaker 1: and then we had the after service out here, I
Speaker 1: was just like, oh my god, what a night that was.
Speaker 1: It was almost like further confirmation for us that everything
Speaker 1: that we were doing, the path that we're on, um
Speaker 1: the plans that we have to continue to help people
Speaker 1: around us. It was just that much more confirmation for us.
Speaker 1: It was just crazy that moment. And I think that's
Speaker 1: that's how God shows up, right and and you know,
Speaker 1: just you saying that story like I have stories on
Speaker 1: top of stories like that that where God has shown
Speaker 1: his face like that to me for me not to
Speaker 1: I can't believe anything otherwise. So that's how that's how
Speaker 1: it happens for me, and I think for us to
Speaker 1: get away from the religion of it and look at
Speaker 1: the relationship aspect of it. You're only going to be
Speaker 1: in a a relationship with someone that you truly love in
Speaker 1: a door. You're not gonna want to be in a
Speaker 1: relationship with someone that you fear and that it just
Speaker 1: makes you feel judgmental and just like not your best.
Speaker 1: So hearing that outpouring that God is finding all of
Speaker 1: these different channels to talk to you guys and just
Speaker 1: show you so much love. For me, that's what I
Speaker 1: connect to to say, that's what I want more of.
Speaker 1: I want more of that guy that's going to tell
Speaker 1: me I'm doing it, and not to say that he
Speaker 1: doesn't tell me what I'm on the wrong path, but
Speaker 1: It's never in a judgmental way to tell me like Christina,
Speaker 1: like you're going to hell. No, it's just like a
Speaker 1: course correction. Get on, there's grace on that, and like
Speaker 1: let's let's fix it and let's move forward. But I
Speaker 1: still love you, and that's what I'm a practice to.
Speaker 1: And we love you, Christina Saved by choice, a journey
Speaker 1: out of religion and into a relationship with Jesus. So
Speaker 1: where can we find you, Christina? Where can we find
Speaker 1: the book? Tell everybody all your handles and all that
Speaker 1: good stuff. Yep. I am on Instagram and Facebook at
Speaker 1: Christina Price. And the book is available on Amazon. So
Speaker 1: it's available on paperback, audible which I actually narrated, and
Speaker 1: book form so I can listen to your voice all
Speaker 1: a day to be to this audible version too. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for your time. We appreciate you,
Speaker 1: appreciate your story, and we're hoping that someone found a
Speaker 1: takeaway in this. I know I always do every time
Speaker 1: we talk, because we have our talks um. But we
Speaker 1: love you, we appreciate you, and thank you so much
Speaker 1: for joining us today. All Right, we're gonna take a
Speaker 1: quick break and get into some ads. And then get
Speaker 1: into these listeners letters. We'll be right back. All right,
Speaker 1: So we're back. We're bad, are going to be They're
Speaker 1: gonna be a little bit more religious religious or saved
Speaker 1: because let's need to listen letters to save or not. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll be wiling. I'll be having these stories. But I
Speaker 1: love it. Though you want to go first, let me
Speaker 1: go first. I go. My older sister just got engaged
Speaker 1: to her bull of five years. I've been more than
Speaker 1: happy for them and their union. I'm one of four girls,
Speaker 1: so when they started dating, I was super excited to
Speaker 1: have a quote unquote brother in the family and potentially
Speaker 1: a close relationship. I soon realized that that will not
Speaker 1: be the case. Drama plot twist um. Although I think
Speaker 1: he's a great person for her and they make a
Speaker 1: great team, I do wish he valued having a genuine
Speaker 1: relationship with myself and my sisters. Another part of this
Speaker 1: dynamic is that I live with them. When I graduated
Speaker 1: from nursing school, they just bought a house and asked
Speaker 1: me to move in as one of their tenants. I agreed,
Speaker 1: although my gut told me that it was time for
Speaker 1: me to have my own space. Living with them has
Speaker 1: been an extreme reminder that my gut was absolutely right.
Speaker 1: It has gotten to the point where he does not
Speaker 1: even reply when being spoken to by myself or by
Speaker 1: my other sisters. I've thought about telling my sister, who's
Speaker 1: engaged to him, and how he lacks respect for his
Speaker 1: siblings but always asks my always talked yourself out of it.
Speaker 1: It's sad to say, but I don't think that she
Speaker 1: would take my feelings about She would think that these
Speaker 1: oh my god, sorry y'all sling and struggled times this
Speaker 1: time around sleep deparation is real. Um. It's sad to say,
Speaker 1: but I don't think that she would think my feelings
Speaker 1: about this are valid and would find some way to
Speaker 1: wholeheartedly defend his actions. Have either of you dealt with
Speaker 1: conflict with your other spouses siblings? If so, how do
Speaker 1: you resolve it and how do you wish and do
Speaker 1: you wish that you were closer to your spouse's siblings.
Speaker 1: I don't know if we can get much closer to
Speaker 1: our bosses siblings because we've all been pretty close. But
Speaker 1: I mean, do you like everything that your siblings or
Speaker 1: your spouses siblings do all the time? No, because they're
Speaker 1: human beings, UM, And there's conversations that I have to
Speaker 1: have with my siblings that I don't necessarily want to have,
Speaker 1: and the same thing with you. I'm just being honest though,
Speaker 1: Like her story is like, you know, I just moved
Speaker 1: in there and he just stopped talking to me. I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure there's that happens. It happening mean that she's
Speaker 1: not sharing, so it's hard for me to even give
Speaker 1: her specific advice. I don't know what sparked him not
Speaker 1: talking to her. I doubt which could be the case.
Speaker 1: It could be wrong with someone says, hey, don't you
Speaker 1: move into be our tenant? So I can't ignore you,
Speaker 1: But I doubt that that's what happened. I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: there were other things, for example, and it's for sisters.
Speaker 1: It's like I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty sure they know
Speaker 1: and probably be in their business, and he probably like,
Speaker 1: I don't got time to be dealing with what your
Speaker 1: sisters think about our marriage because a lot of times
Speaker 1: it happens. That's true, that's true, and maybe he's ignoring
Speaker 1: her because you need to just The further question can
Speaker 1: be are you at what capacity are you involved in
Speaker 1: their marriage? Potentially? UM, you know, what does that look like?
Speaker 1: Because he really didn't like her, he wouldn't asked her
Speaker 1: to have been a tenant like they about a house.
Speaker 1: He could have got a tempted somebody. And sometimes just
Speaker 1: living with people in close quarters, baby girl, that can
Speaker 1: totally make things. Harry, I wish she would have just
Speaker 1: gave it's a little bit more context. Did you have
Speaker 1: any kind of you know, not altercations, but any miscommunication
Speaker 1: and debates and arguments? You you have issues, right Like
Speaker 1: me and Kay's brother don't always get along. We don't
Speaker 1: agree on philosophies of life all the time. So what
Speaker 1: do we do? We sit down and talk about it.
Speaker 1: We've known each other since I was eighteen, he was fifteen,
Speaker 1: so he's like my little brother. So you know, we
Speaker 1: there's sometimes when we you know, getting the fights and
Speaker 1: arguments and you do was talk about it and caves
Speaker 1: like listen, y'all men, Yes, y'all deal with that. The
Speaker 1: dynamic is different because we're both men. Would be different.
Speaker 1: But even with Sakari, Sakari and I have had our
Speaker 1: differences and we've sat down and just talked about our differences.
Speaker 1: Like I didn't like when you did this I don't
Speaker 1: like when you did that. It's like, all right, well,
Speaker 1: and there's definitely like a level of respect that my
Speaker 1: sister has for you. So when you do talk to
Speaker 1: her like brother and sister, I think she listens and
Speaker 1: she takes into account the way you feel or what
Speaker 1: you may be saying. Um, so yeah, we need more context.
Speaker 1: Is but they've been together for five years. It's a
Speaker 1: little bit different with us. We've been together for almost
Speaker 1: twenty years. So I've watched your brother. It's just to
Speaker 1: actually grow up into be people like Kari with seven
Speaker 1: when I came wrong. So at this point, the vast
Speaker 1: majority for life she's known me. You know, five years
Speaker 1: in the course of a relationship or life is really
Speaker 1: not that long. It seems long because I go a
Speaker 1: half a decade, but when you think about how long
Speaker 1: life is, five years is not that long, right. And
Speaker 1: I am just not a proponent for being uncomfortable in
Speaker 1: your living space. So if that's not working out for you,
Speaker 1: maybe you need to move and go and find your
Speaker 1: own space, you know what I'm saying. You know, you
Speaker 1: may be helping them out by being a tendant, so
Speaker 1: it's helping with that, but nothing's really holding you there.
Speaker 1: I think that's the best, to be honest, I really
Speaker 1: do think that's the best. Sometimes that space is needed
Speaker 1: to then salvage because your brother lived with us, and
Speaker 1: he used to get on your nerves more than he
Speaker 1: got on my nerves. But I guess that's also us
Speaker 1: being men. You know, we have our own way of
Speaker 1: doing things that could sue. Yeah, but you know, cleaning
Speaker 1: after man and whatnot. I'm like you, sometimes space, sometimes
Speaker 1: space is the best thing for a relationship. You know,
Speaker 1: they're they're not intimate partners. You know. First of all,
Speaker 1: a tenant landlord relationship can be contentious for any two
Speaker 1: paper strangers. Yeah, let alone be your sister in law
Speaker 1: or your brother in law. So that's a tough one.
Speaker 1: So I think I think maybe you should get your
Speaker 1: own space and maybe trying to have that conversation. Just
Speaker 1: sit down and have an open, honest conversation maybe with him.
Speaker 1: If he does not want to talk to you by himself,
Speaker 1: talk to your sister about it and talk to him.
Speaker 1: But um, your your feelings are valid. There's one thing
Speaker 1: Kadina and I talked about yesterday. No one can tell
Speaker 1: you the way you feel is not valid. If someone
Speaker 1: has done something to you to make you feel a
Speaker 1: way you didn't ask to feel this way. You feel
Speaker 1: this way, so talk about it. Talk about now. Why
Speaker 1: you feel this way may have little to do with
Speaker 1: that person. It could be some other triggers or some
Speaker 1: past trauma, but the fact that you feel that way,
Speaker 1: he's always valid. So never let anyone tell you that
Speaker 1: you're not valid for feeling that way. And one more thing,
Speaker 1: the relationship you have with your sister. If y'all are closed,
Speaker 1: you should be able to have that conversation with your
Speaker 1: sister without necessarily her just running to his defense, especially
Speaker 1: if your argument is valid. So let's hope that she's
Speaker 1: of level mind to see both sides and you guys
Speaker 1: take it from there. So good luck to you on
Speaker 1: that one. Number two, Hey, Condinian DeVoe, My boyfriend and
Speaker 1: I have been together for almost four years. We just
Speaker 1: started doing long distance. That's tough. He just graduated undergrad
Speaker 1: and I'm now and it's now a chiropractor is now
Speaker 1: in chiropractic school, while I'm still finishing my undergraduate degree.
Speaker 1: Up until last month, we would call every night or
Speaker 1: every other night and text occasionally. He should surprise me
Speaker 1: with weekend trips down here, and if I didn't have games,
Speaker 1: I would visit him as well. Recently, he started flaking
Speaker 1: on promises when coming to visit me and has now
Speaker 1: asked for some space. He says he still wants to
Speaker 1: be with me and doesn't see himself on anyone else,
Speaker 1: but he just wants to be able to focus on
Speaker 1: school in his job. Part of me believes him and
Speaker 1: wants to be supportive, supportive of his asking for space,
Speaker 1: while the other part of me is crumbling, thinking he's
Speaker 1: just going to leave. I don't know what to do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So it's like you, you already got distance, but now
Speaker 1: you want more space on the distance. Yeah, you're talking
Speaker 1: about red flags? That sound like it? Do sound like
Speaker 1: a red flag? Listen? That sound like a red flag.
Speaker 1: I ain't even gonna lie to you, Okay, I ain't
Speaker 1: gonna lie to you. If someone is far away asking
Speaker 1: for space, that's like the prequel to a breakup? Am
Speaker 1: I wrong for that? How you far away asking for space?
Speaker 1: So you can't we can't call text FaceTime regularly? I mean,
Speaker 1: baby girl, I think he's either I'm not trying to judge,
Speaker 1: found somebody else, or Yeah, ex options or he isn't
Speaker 1: like the fact that you already have space and it's
Speaker 1: making him uncomfortable, so he has to find something that
Speaker 1: works for him. I honestly feel like that's what it is.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't you know, don't you gotta listen to us?
Speaker 1: But I would say be directed asking him, Hey, what's
Speaker 1: going on here? We already have distance? How could you
Speaker 1: want more space from distance? You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: That's the part that has me a little ah ker plunked, flabberga,
Speaker 1: flabber gaid. Yeah, because I know, like, for example, when
Speaker 1: we did the long distance thing that every other week
Speaker 1: seven Yes, he was in Detroit. I was in New York,
Speaker 1: and any chance I got to be able to be
Speaker 1: in Detroit, I was there. And there was no FaceTime.
Speaker 1: So we was on the phone every day every day.
Speaker 1: There was no maybe something every end of the day,
Speaker 1: every day. And if I didn't get that phone call
Speaker 1: from her when I got out of practice at six thirty,
Speaker 1: if my phone didn't ring, or I didn't have a
Speaker 1: mis call or a text from her, I was like, yo, yo, yo,
Speaker 1: at what's happening here? What he used to also made
Speaker 1: me do is like, Yo, I want to see you,
Speaker 1: want to see you? I'm like, how can you see me?
Speaker 1: I used to have my little actual digital camera to
Speaker 1: take pictures on my camera. Then I used to have
Speaker 1: to put the memory card in my laptop, upload the
Speaker 1: photos to my laptop, then attached them joints in an
Speaker 1: email and email his ass pictures in me. So I
Speaker 1: got like a whole bunch of pennies. And Lord, don't
Speaker 1: have to scrub our devices because the ship floating around
Speaker 1: the abyss that facts. You know, you had a bunch
Speaker 1: of boudoir shoots like every day while I was practicing,
Speaker 1: while he was at practice. But I had to do
Speaker 1: what I had to do because that's what he was
Speaker 1: asking for, and we missed each other. Like so that
Speaker 1: distance with additional distance, that sounds like a flag. Baby.
Speaker 1: All y'all, if you want to be featured as a
Speaker 1: listener letter, be sure to email us. Don't be damning us,
Speaker 1: don't be putting in the comments. Email us at dead
Speaker 1: as Advice at gmail dot com. That's d E A
Speaker 1: d A d v I c E at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: All right, time for the moment the truth you want?
Speaker 1: First moment of truth? Um, I think based on our conversation,
Speaker 1: because sometimes a listener letters get me all out of
Speaker 1: what we were talking about. UM, but the task in hand,
Speaker 1: going back to our conversation with Christina and UM, the
Speaker 1: means saved by choice and her whole journey. UM, it
Speaker 1: just further lets me know that I sometimes look for
Speaker 1: reasons to talk myself out of getting in the Bible
Speaker 1: or finding my relationship and or deeper connection with God.
Speaker 1: But I feel like He sends me messages and people
Speaker 1: just throughout life that I need to be more in
Speaker 1: tune with and instead of me searching for something more tangible,
Speaker 1: realizing that He may be sending me those messages through
Speaker 1: people and through instances and through circumstances where in that sense,
Speaker 1: I need to be more obedient in that moment and
Speaker 1: build a stronger relationship with him, if that makes sense,
Speaker 1: Because that's something that I noticed that I do. UM,
Speaker 1: that I have the resources and I have those moments
Speaker 1: where I'm like from and it's not even running from them,
Speaker 1: but it's more so investing the time to do that
Speaker 1: because then I feel like I can be a greater
Speaker 1: resource to my family and to my children if I
Speaker 1: do strengthen my own connection God. Absolutely, that's my moment
Speaker 1: of truth. That's a good one. You know what I
Speaker 1: got today? Two is that you don't do story time
Speaker 1: because if you did story time, you would add homeless
Speaker 1: people chasing after us and I would be running away.
Speaker 1: This is what yo. I'm I am a grown protective man. Husband.
Speaker 1: You've got people here thinking that. So this homeless guy
Speaker 1: and he was gonna go back his side and I
Speaker 1: was like, don't leave me. I was giving detail, and
Speaker 1: I think everyone who knows us knows that that is
Speaker 1: not something that you would ever do. I saw the
Speaker 1: homeless guy before you did. Definitely fair to say fair
Speaker 1: to say so just to let you'all know when your
Speaker 1: wife tells the stories you're gonna have you look in
Speaker 1: a loof out here like you in streets. Now, let
Speaker 1: me get to my moment of truth. But my moment
Speaker 1: of truth is about this homeless man. It is about
Speaker 1: the older gentleman at work at the gym. I don't
Speaker 1: know why. His name is oh Raphael Raf. Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: m church is a building, but you carry your church
Speaker 1: with you, or your mosque with you, or your syning
Speaker 1: God with you, and how you approach people every single
Speaker 1: day and you have a responsibility as a man or
Speaker 1: woman of God to continuously represent what your religious beliefs
Speaker 1: mean to you and how you interact with people. That's
Speaker 1: the best way to be an event angelist is to
Speaker 1: just live and exist in that space continuously and hold
Speaker 1: yourself accountable with how you treat people, because how you
Speaker 1: treat people will reflect on your beliefs and your spirituality.
Speaker 1: I love that because that circles back to my moment
Speaker 1: of truth, where if you are encountering people like a
Speaker 1: Raphael or like a Christina on a day to day basis,
Speaker 1: that may be the message that you need that God
Speaker 1: sending you absolutely absolutely seeking, absolutely seek me right now,
Speaker 1: absolutely by now, and be sure to follow us guys
Speaker 1: on social media. The podcast page, of course is dead
Speaker 1: Ass the podcast on Instagram and you can find me
Speaker 1: Cadina I Am and I Am devouting. If you're listening
Speaker 1: on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, review and subscribe
Speaker 1: as ya as. Dead Ass is a production of I
Speaker 1: Heart Media podcast network and is produced by Dinorapinia and
Speaker 1: Triple Follow the podcast on social media at dead As
Speaker 1: to podcasts and never is a Thing