Speaker 1: Think like the inside of your baby pink behind our
Speaker 1: love that doors crazy, pink like the tongue, like goos down,
Speaker 1: maybe pink like the parrot as well. Think when you're
Speaker 1: blushing inside baby pink.
Speaker 2: Is the truth you can't I Hey, guys, welcome back.
Speaker 2: This is Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and.
Speaker 3: I'm Nila, and we are really excited because we have
Speaker 3: two special guests that we were lucky enough to get
Speaker 3: on Good.
Speaker 2: Mom's Bad Choices and I've been.
Speaker 4: Looking forward to this for months. Yes, we've been plotting
Speaker 4: on you, so please welcome Jet Setting Jasmine and King Noir.
Speaker 5: Thank you for having us, of course.
Speaker 2: The bomb ass parents, King and Queen of Kink. What's
Speaker 2: your title? Tell us your your handles, like your instant
Speaker 2: handles and stuff. I'm at jes sitting Jasmine pretty much
Speaker 2: everywhere at King the Walk.
Speaker 4: So we're really excited to have them because not only
Speaker 4: are they in the kink industry, the adult film industry,
Speaker 4: but they're also parents.
Speaker 2: They have their little baby. What's your baby's name?
Speaker 6: Majesty here, I'm like, wait, I don't know the baby's name.
Speaker 2: Eight week old Majesty is here. In the next room,
Speaker 2: and you know we let the kinky parents.
Speaker 7: Sure do.
Speaker 3: And I it's so funny because Jamila was actually the
Speaker 3: one that put me onto you guys. And this was
Speaker 3: like before I connected with him, Like, she was.
Speaker 2: Like, have you seen them? Have you seen them? Look
Speaker 2: how amazing like their lifestyle is. They are so open.
Speaker 3: And I was in Florida and I happened to connect
Speaker 3: with him on like an app and.
Speaker 2: I was like, give me, look, this is the same person.
Speaker 2: I was like, it's consense. I was like no, And
Speaker 2: I was like, how am I in Tampa? Does he
Speaker 2: live here? I'm like, what the fuck are you?
Speaker 5: Of course.
Speaker 2: I like you am.
Speaker 3: I Also my followers know that I'm like the Queen
Speaker 3: of Tinder, is the queen of But I've retired recently.
Speaker 2: I'm kind of back on. But I have some bad experience.
Speaker 2: You have the best. I have the best experiences. I
Speaker 2: mean we have them here.
Speaker 7: No, it's true, You're right, Tinder works very well for
Speaker 7: me for people who are looking for sex.
Speaker 5: Actually, I'm sure I had a lot of BDSM session.
Speaker 2: Book of sessions, you know.
Speaker 3: But when I when I when he when we were talking,
Speaker 3: I asked him because I knew I was like, what
Speaker 3: are you doing on here?
Speaker 2: And he's like, this is how I get a lot
Speaker 2: of my work. What is BDSM.
Speaker 7: Bondage, dominant sadism, masochism, submissiveness.
Speaker 5: Okay, we're going to ask there's a lot of ways
Speaker 5: that it's broken down.
Speaker 4: We're going to ask you that a lot because even
Speaker 4: though we're both freaky parents, our terminology is not that on.
Speaker 2: So educate us please. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I'm really excited to be educated because we were looking
Speaker 3: up stuff and I.
Speaker 2: Was like, wait, what the fuck does that mean? I
Speaker 2: was like, we don't. I want to know. I'm asked that.
Speaker 6: But yeah.
Speaker 2: So that's how I connected with King and I was like,
Speaker 2: please can you be on my podcast? And here we are.
Speaker 4: I was like in June, yeah, and she like he
Speaker 4: said yes, yes, I manifested this from Instagram when Instagram
Speaker 4: works in the fa for us and we didn't have
Speaker 4: the slide in the dance.
Speaker 2: So how did you guys meet just like this on
Speaker 2: the radio show? On the radio show?
Speaker 4: Really?
Speaker 2: So you guys are both just happening to be on
Speaker 2: a radio show to get this.
Speaker 6: So I was hosting a show called The Emotion Picture
Speaker 6: and we were doing a show about behind the scenes
Speaker 6: of porn, looking at how people and porn have relationships
Speaker 6: or don't.
Speaker 2: And he was the guest on the show, and so, yeah,
Speaker 2: how long ago was that.
Speaker 6: It's like.
Speaker 4: Like that, oh cool, Yeah, prior to this relationship, had
Speaker 4: you ever dated anyone in that industry.
Speaker 2: Or were you in that industry? No? Neither, okay.
Speaker 3: Oh so the podcast you were on or the show
Speaker 3: you were on, but I didn't have something to do
Speaker 3: with that particular episode.
Speaker 6: We kind of just explored all things relationships and love
Speaker 6: and yeah.
Speaker 2: So he was on that show and Cinnamon Love was
Speaker 2: on the show.
Speaker 6: His segment was pre recorded, so I was like driving
Speaker 6: across the bridge in Tampa talking.
Speaker 2: Interviewing him, had no idea what he looked like. Really,
Speaker 2: you were just like just oh wow. Yeah.
Speaker 6: And then when the show aired, we had to find
Speaker 6: a picture and you're like advertising, Okay.
Speaker 2: I'm right, I'll do the follow up on this one.
Speaker 2: I'll do this further investigation. Thank you. Are you guys
Speaker 2: both from Florida, No, neither one of us. I'm from
Speaker 2: New York, what a Queens.
Speaker 5: I'm from Jersey.
Speaker 2: Okay, so I'm not even far from each other. No,
Speaker 2: but I've been living in Florida for a really.
Speaker 6: Long time, and he's a newcomer down there, so you
Speaker 6: were already out there in Jersey.
Speaker 7: Well, yeah, I was. I was in Jersey. It's funny.
Speaker 7: I knew one of the other hosts for over like
Speaker 7: ten fifteen years, and at the time, Jasmine was working
Speaker 7: on building her own company, doing parties, teaching pole dancing,
Speaker 7: and I was doing a Rody Touch massages and working
Speaker 7: doing my own parties. So they kind of was like, hey,
Speaker 7: we should we work together or something like that. That's
Speaker 7: that's kind of what started off.
Speaker 2: So prior to that, you weren't doing like there was
Speaker 2: no film.
Speaker 5: Oh no, I was. I was doing for.
Speaker 7: I was doing that, but it was at the time
Speaker 7: I was I was more focused on I have a company.
Speaker 7: It's called Central in the War and it's based basically
Speaker 7: like when women go to like male strip clubs or whatever,
Speaker 7: they're usually created by men with men's perception of what
Speaker 7: they think women want, and it's usually what men want
Speaker 7: to do to women instead of what women want to experience.
Speaker 7: So I created Central in the War as a company
Speaker 7: that was catering to black black women. That's actually how
Speaker 7: I got the name King nowar I just went by King,
Speaker 7: but people were like, yo, that's King from Central.
Speaker 5: In the war, and it just became as yo, that's
Speaker 5: King New War right.
Speaker 7: And it was basically based on when women want to
Speaker 7: go out and let lose have a good time. You know,
Speaker 7: if men want to go out to a strip club
Speaker 7: or like a massage parlor or something's boys will be
Speaker 7: boys have a good time. If women do it, there's
Speaker 7: all this judgment that's that's attached to it. And I
Speaker 7: wanted to make a company that was just like women
Speaker 7: can go out have a good time, enjoy themselves or
Speaker 7: within the privacy of their own home having a right
Speaker 7: to touch, massage or a fetish experience. That then would
Speaker 7: just be like this is what you want you kind
Speaker 7: of like shape it molded and design it to what
Speaker 7: it is you want to experience, instead of like, hey,
Speaker 7: you show up at this club and I throw my
Speaker 7: dick on your shoulder, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 7: that's not sometimes you know, it's like if that's part
Speaker 7: of the experience you want, you choose.
Speaker 5: You don't have to just show up and someone's like
Speaker 5: no choice, you know.
Speaker 7: So you know, that's kind of how that started, and
Speaker 7: we both looked at what each other was was doing.
Speaker 7: It was kind of like, yeah, we might be able
Speaker 7: to put these together. And that's how we came up
Speaker 7: with fantasy flight parties.
Speaker 2: What better way to have a woman's perspective than.
Speaker 6: To thin and the same thing that's what was happening
Speaker 6: with my events is that we would all the women
Speaker 6: would be sitting around saying, like, you know, how do
Speaker 6: men want their dick to be?
Speaker 8: So like I don't know, yeah exactly, you know, questions
Speaker 8: like that, and like, you know, well communicate with your partner,
Speaker 8: but I don't know how.
Speaker 6: And so it just worked out that, you know, we
Speaker 6: would be doing these parties and King would be doing
Speaker 6: erotic touch in the back. And then when we had
Speaker 6: a question that we really needed a men's perspective, which
Speaker 6: the answer usually was every man is different and women
Speaker 6: had we're having a hard.
Speaker 2: Time realizing that.
Speaker 6: It's like, oh, no, all guys think the same way,
Speaker 6: but when they would actually hear it from a man,
Speaker 6: it's kind of like it's sunk in a little bit better.
Speaker 6: So yeah, they believed him because he had seen this,
Speaker 6: Yeah exactly.
Speaker 3: It's almost like a double standard, like women lost when
Speaker 3: when men kind of know women are a little bit different,
Speaker 3: but women we think men it's just it's a pussy,
Speaker 3: just put it in or or you know, like there's
Speaker 3: no no nuance, right exactly in that way.
Speaker 2: So that's what we created the party and baby I think.
Speaker 7: I think at a certain point also, I had stopped
Speaker 7: doing films and doing webcam stuff as much because I
Speaker 7: was doing work in the community. So then people at
Speaker 7: the parties would start to be like, how come all
Speaker 7: porn is with black focus so stereotypical and it's just trash,
Speaker 7: and it's just like they would pick a pick it
Speaker 7: all apart and just say, like, why are we always
Speaker 7: treated this way?
Speaker 5: Why do we never see black people kiss on film?
Speaker 7: Why is it there's no real kinky stuff with black
Speaker 7: folk unless it's also racist, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: It was, Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 4: There are like it lacks level a lot of blackborns,
Speaker 4: or you see a lot of interracial It's.
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, it's true. I've never even thought about it,
Speaker 2: but you're right.
Speaker 3: Like I see a lot of like beautifully shot porn
Speaker 3: with white people and not ever with black people, or
Speaker 3: if it is, it's usually black on white ryep.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's never.
Speaker 4: So would you guys say there's like discrimination within the
Speaker 4: porn industry.
Speaker 5: Or absolutely on many different levels.
Speaker 2: Have you guys experienced that personally, like, and that's why
Speaker 2: we have royal Finnish films. So that's just exclusive your
Speaker 2: ship for you guys.
Speaker 7: And we both we both shoot with other companies if
Speaker 7: they contract us to work for them. But it's like
Speaker 7: we get to turn down all that discrimination or the
Speaker 7: racist or the stereotypical shoots because like, we can make
Speaker 7: what we want. So if you're not making something that's
Speaker 7: coincides with who we are, then we could stay away
Speaker 7: from it.
Speaker 4: That's interesting because I live in the valley, so I
Speaker 4: know a few porn stars myself, not just any like
Speaker 4: educational as you too, educate educated, yeah, or that too.
Speaker 4: I was told one time that a lot of times
Speaker 4: women or whatever people will shoot and then they'll get
Speaker 4: the footage and later they will never they can't say
Speaker 4: anything and won't be informed of the titles of the film.
Speaker 4: So it could be like actually like nappy nappy, black
Speaker 4: bitch sucks cock or some shit, but the the like,
Speaker 4: you don't once you signed that away, once you film,
Speaker 4: you have no say so and whatever they put on
Speaker 4: that label.
Speaker 6: So what we're we've been touring the adult industry for
Speaker 6: people of color. We've been doing that here in the UK,
Speaker 6: really educating not just performance but also consumers of exactly
Speaker 6: what you're saying, kind of like consumers can help break
Speaker 6: up that break up these stereotypes by asking for what
Speaker 6: we want to see. But a lot of times, like
Speaker 6: you said, like I didn't even think about that, we
Speaker 6: don't know what you know, it's just what's given to us.
Speaker 2: And we think like maybe maybe.
Speaker 6: Black people that are imporn don't want to shoot SA
Speaker 6: see stuff, and that's not true. It's just that the
Speaker 6: opportunity isn't available. And then educating performers on going through
Speaker 6: that contract, Like so for us, we were you know,
Speaker 6: we won't sign a contract unless we know exactly right,
Speaker 6: and if we can't have it exact, then we'll say,
Speaker 6: you know, no derogatory terms, no racial play, like all
Speaker 6: of those kinds of things. And they don't have a
Speaker 6: business without our body. Oh absolutely, you don't have a
Speaker 6: contract without my input either.
Speaker 2: Right, No, it's true. It's like this doesn't work without me.
Speaker 7: I never know.
Speaker 2: It's kind of almost like I hate to compare it
Speaker 2: to football.
Speaker 3: But like, but I think about that, Like, you know,
Speaker 3: I'm like, y'all need to just quit because they can't
Speaker 3: have a team with that, right, Okay, just like you guys, like,
Speaker 3: we're definitely the robot dog root.
Speaker 5: Dog is going crazy.
Speaker 2: Literally, I see it looking it freaked if that shit
Speaker 2: freaked me out. Earlier I was cooking. I have a
Speaker 2: robot dog that well, what does it do? It's like
Speaker 2: a real dog.
Speaker 3: But no, it's my my my my stepworld is like
Speaker 3: a real my stepdad got my daughter that for Christmas
Speaker 3: like two years ago.
Speaker 2: My daughter's three, so now she's finally.
Speaker 3: I just found it yesterday and I was like, let's
Speaker 3: like busted out, and she's been scaring.
Speaker 2: The ship out of me all day. I don't know
Speaker 2: how to control it.
Speaker 4: Like look, Tamilla, she's like, I'm going to turn it on.
Speaker 4: It's going to find the charger itself because it's low.
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, I'm got a house break. Yeah, I
Speaker 4: love you, motherfucker off.
Speaker 5: Sorry anyway, going back to what you said, I mean porn.
Speaker 7: We're literally sexual sexual athletes the same way football players
Speaker 7: expected to perform on the field. We're expected to perform
Speaker 7: on film a lot of times. You know, there's a
Speaker 7: lot of a lot of jokes within the industry. It's like,
Speaker 7: oh I get to the bed today, you know, not
Speaker 7: like jagged Rocks or fall, you know what I mean,
Speaker 7: like all these all these crazy places, but you're still
Speaker 7: supposed to make it look beautiful.
Speaker 5: And sexy and all this other stuff.
Speaker 7: But I mean, we within the industry, you run into
Speaker 7: just as much racism as you run into in everyday.
Speaker 7: Like you know, porn is just the microcosm of the
Speaker 7: larger society. And unfortunately, we live in a country where
Speaker 7: racism is pretty much widely and openly accepted. So it's
Speaker 7: the same, it's the same thing within the industry. I
Speaker 7: was working for this one Uh well, I didn't actually
Speaker 7: work for them. I was booked to work for this
Speaker 7: one company, and basically they had never had a black
Speaker 7: man on their site ever. I was going to be
Speaker 7: the first black man on their site. And it's called asylum.
Speaker 7: It's supposed to be in an asylum, and they usually
Speaker 7: have doctors and orderlies. So for the first black men
Speaker 7: that they were going to have on their site, me,
Speaker 7: they were like, hey, let's make them a janitor.
Speaker 5: So I was like, you know.
Speaker 3: That they're out of touch, out of touch people, they're
Speaker 3: in touch, it's.
Speaker 7: Not And they tried to play it off like oh no, no, no,
Speaker 7: it's not like that. But literally, going through every single
Speaker 7: one of their scenes before they ever had a person
Speaker 7: of color or male of color on their site, was
Speaker 7: always everybody was either an orderly or a doctor.
Speaker 5: And I personally like doctor in the war that has a.
Speaker 2: Real nice I thought it would be very nice, you know.
Speaker 5: So actually what wound up happening.
Speaker 7: We wound up one of the times when we were
Speaker 7: actually out here in La we shot with a really
Speaker 7: really dope company called PARAPERB and collaborated with them, and
Speaker 7: we were both sexy demented doctors and that was actually
Speaker 7: that that was actually one of one of our very
Speaker 7: popular scenes. So you know, it shows that people do
Speaker 7: want to see black people have sex in all different roles.
Speaker 9: You know what I mean.
Speaker 5: And that's the funny thing.
Speaker 7: It's not like, you know, we were going to be
Speaker 7: getting all deep into neuroscience or anything like that.
Speaker 5: We're gonna.
Speaker 7: So it's just like so crazy that somebody can't see
Speaker 7: past like black man doc, like you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: In their fantasy.
Speaker 7: So it's like we we still just as a society,
Speaker 7: have a lot of work to do, and I think
Speaker 7: that that's one of the things that we're doing through porn.
Speaker 5: You know. It's like in every single aspect.
Speaker 7: Unfortunately, when you're black, you are the first black person
Speaker 7: to do X, Y and Z, no matter how crazy
Speaker 7: it might seem or menial or whatever. The however, people
Speaker 7: kind of divvy all the work up, but you're still
Speaker 7: going to be the first one.
Speaker 5: And as the first one is a whole lot of
Speaker 5: shit that you got to take for it.
Speaker 7: But owning your own and putting out positive images of
Speaker 7: yourself in ways that you know people can reflect and
Speaker 7: it's like yo, to be able to bust your nut
Speaker 7: and not have to feel racism at the same time.
Speaker 5: SS Like for real.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's I mean, I appreciate you guys, because I didn't.
Speaker 2: Even considered that.
Speaker 4: So I'm happy that you're enjoying the work in that
Speaker 4: industry because it is definitely racist.
Speaker 2: Even I'm just I don't even I'm not even a
Speaker 2: huge masturbator or porn bowyer, but like now that I
Speaker 2: think about it, like going thro those categories pages, right,
Speaker 2: I don't see this ship. But yeah, that's a big job.
Speaker 3: I do watch porn, and it's so crazy because you know,
Speaker 3: like we're both pretty pro black, but I've never, like,
Speaker 3: I don't know how for some reason.
Speaker 2: My brain like doesn't go there with porn. Like it's
Speaker 2: just you don't think.
Speaker 3: I don't think of I don't get outraged, but really
Speaker 3: I should be, Like, now that I'm thinking about it,
Speaker 3: I'm like, Wow, there isn't a lot of like black
Speaker 3: love and porn. There isn't a lot of like, you know,
Speaker 3: people in powerful positions and porn, I mean, like playing
Speaker 3: people in powerful positions.
Speaker 8: Because it's in our regular media too, right, right, So
Speaker 8: how yeah, it's almost like you accept that, but I
Speaker 8: also but I feel like it's in our regular media,
Speaker 8: but I feel like we have there is.
Speaker 3: A there's in a shift, and there is been recently,
Speaker 3: Yes recently, of course there's racists, but there's the racist
Speaker 3: film more comfortable being racist than ever at this point,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. But I just mean like
Speaker 3: there's powerful there's women that are in powerful positions.
Speaker 2: There's black men that are in powerful positions more.
Speaker 3: So than there were twenty years ago, for sure, And
Speaker 3: so it just just it just it just dawned on
Speaker 3: me that I never like equated that to porn.
Speaker 2: Like I just kind of like, oh, well, torn, I'm
Speaker 2: not even thinking about.
Speaker 7: It, I think because porn is still one of those
Speaker 7: markets that you know, there's there's shame that some people
Speaker 7: have actually like there's aspect of it, and so like,
Speaker 7: literally porn is the only industry I can think of.
Speaker 5: And we talk about this in our in our in.
Speaker 7: Our series, like you can literally show up as a
Speaker 7: director and be like, I'm not working with any black
Speaker 7: women today.
Speaker 5: You can literally say that on set and they be
Speaker 5: like okay, you know, and rock with it.
Speaker 7: But if you work for I don't know, Viacom and
Speaker 7: you show up and you say that shit, you're gonna
Speaker 7: get fighting.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah right now.
Speaker 5: True.
Speaker 2: But is there nobody there's no like policing and porn
Speaker 2: or how how does that work?
Speaker 7: But it's when you think about sex and you think
Speaker 7: about how like even going back to what you said,
Speaker 7: like about about athletes, about how the black body is
Speaker 7: perceived and how it's devalued and we're just a vessel.
Speaker 7: So it's like sexually we're a vessel or black man
Speaker 7: is usually perceived as this dick that's there to please
Speaker 7: a white woman, even if it's the white man watching
Speaker 7: that black man please that white woman. You know, Black
Speaker 7: women are usually perceived as as as lesser. So like
Speaker 7: there's this one series called We Fuck Black Girls, you know,
Speaker 7: like as if like that somehow is something different than
Speaker 7: having sex with other.
Speaker 5: Women, you know what I mean.
Speaker 7: And usually the black women are extremely disrespected. There's this
Speaker 7: one where they like put Confederate flags on them, you know,
Speaker 7: So what's wrong with these black women?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, trying to check and turn into other
Speaker 2: God damn.
Speaker 7: So it's like if you if you have an industry
Speaker 7: where that's where that's widely accepted and people look at it,
Speaker 7: like even if people are like, oh, well it's a joke,
Speaker 7: you know, like that's that's not fun, you know.
Speaker 2: What I mean.
Speaker 6: So so let's talk about just what you said, So
Speaker 6: what's wrong with these black women?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 6: When you go to a set, sometimes you don't know
Speaker 6: what you're shooting, right, and then like you said, there's
Speaker 6: there's a contract you know that you have to sign.
Speaker 6: But even I say, you get all the way to
Speaker 6: the end and then they drape the Confederate and you're like, well, no, no,
Speaker 6: not doing that.
Speaker 9: You have to pay a fee for killing that shoot
Speaker 9: probably reached the contract, you didn't, right, And so if
Speaker 9: you're just just you've just performed all these sexual things
Speaker 9: and then at the end they're like, and we won't
Speaker 9: pay you, so you're gonna do this.
Speaker 6: No, and you're gonna pay us for wasting. So not
Speaker 6: everybody is in the industry because you know they one
Speaker 6: is like you know, for us one it's enjoyable too.
Speaker 6: We want to bring a different look, a different feel.
Speaker 6: You know, our intentions aren't solely financial, but if like
Speaker 6: if that was how I had to take care of
Speaker 6: my family, This is a part of my budget. The
Speaker 6: shoot is in my budget, and now I'm gonna be
Speaker 6: under like I'm just gonna maybe hope that nobody sees it.
Speaker 6: So so it's really difficult. You know, people say like, well,
Speaker 6: people need to stop doing you know, doing.
Speaker 2: Scenes that degrade us or what have you.
Speaker 3: It's a hard choice to me because you feel like
Speaker 3: you don't have a choice. I almost like you're I'm
Speaker 3: sure they make you feel like, well, you're not going
Speaker 3: to work again anymore, or this or.
Speaker 7: That stories about like bull jangle, so performers in the
Speaker 7: Vaude field circuit where you were black and you still
Speaker 7: had to wear black face if you wanted to perform
Speaker 7: and sing because you love to sing, right, you know,
Speaker 7: So it's unfortunate. It's like I meant, you know, there's
Speaker 7: so many rappers that if you actually spoke to them,
Speaker 7: be like, wow, are you smart as hell?
Speaker 5: I graduated college and you talk like that on the record.
Speaker 7: Every other word is nigga is nigga at which you
Speaker 7: have an extensive vocabulary, but you know that's what white
Speaker 7: folks want to hear, and that's what sells.
Speaker 5: So that's what you do.
Speaker 2: That's going to cut you a check for Yeah, that's unfortunate.
Speaker 7: That's that's the and that's why I say porn is
Speaker 7: just a microcosm. So it's like things that we have
Speaker 7: to confront on every single field of play or you know,
Speaker 7: we don't get any progress anywhere.
Speaker 10: So be good consumers if porn, purchase it, if you
Speaker 10: watch it, and you know, if there's a company that
Speaker 10: you really like, just ask them, email them and ask
Speaker 10: them to see black people doing other things.
Speaker 2: Or you know, like I really love the quality of
Speaker 2: your shoes too.
Speaker 6: It would be great if you and you know, wherever
Speaker 6: your fantasies can take it.
Speaker 2: About that, I want to do that here. Okay, So
Speaker 2: I have another question.
Speaker 4: So obviously you guys kind of met in somewhat in
Speaker 4: this industry already, Like, how does that affect your relationship?
Speaker 4: Are you guys like to have an open relationship? Are
Speaker 4: there insecurities because of it? Because of the nature of
Speaker 4: your work? And how does that? Do you have rules
Speaker 4: around your because like I know, I've seen like stuff
Speaker 4: with you and her and you are and other women.
Speaker 4: Do you uh like have played with other men? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Do you guys have agreements surrounding that or how does
Speaker 4: that work?
Speaker 6: So we we met in the industry, so that that's one.
Speaker 6: It's like, you know, we're not going to in some
Speaker 6: form of industry, and we've I've developed like my role
Speaker 6: in the industry through our relationship, so that's not an issue.
Speaker 6: Our work stuff, And we also came into our relationship
Speaker 6: me exploring different styles of relationships, and King was already
Speaker 6: established as polyamorous, so no surprises there.
Speaker 2: And this is your first polyamous relationship. It is too,
Speaker 2: you know, it's really interesting.
Speaker 6: I think I've been kind of in living kind of
Speaker 6: alternative lifestyles within monogamous relationships for a long time, but
Speaker 6: never knowing like what was happening or what I was missing,
Speaker 6: or or even.
Speaker 2: Thinking like gosh, like I'm going to be with this
Speaker 2: person forever. Okay, yeah, I.
Speaker 6: Guess I could do it, you know, but thinking those
Speaker 6: thoughts were really really natural for women to have or
Speaker 6: just for people to have, like you know, oh, this
Speaker 6: is just like maybe cold feet or something like that.
Speaker 6: But then meeting him, meeting other people in lifestyle experiencing
Speaker 6: different things that I was like, oh, you know, no,
Speaker 6: it's like you shouldn't feel that way. If you feel
Speaker 6: that way, then maybe you need to be either with
Speaker 6: the wrong person or there's another style of life, another
Speaker 6: lifestyle that may work for you.
Speaker 2: So for me, I don't really consider myself polyamorous.
Speaker 6: I don't have that yearning to love lots of people
Speaker 6: in a very very strong, intimate way. I am more
Speaker 6: like to play with other people and even more so
Speaker 6: to work with other people. I get totally turned on
Speaker 6: by the fact that we make money being with other people.
Speaker 2: So that's kind of like my big thing. And can
Speaker 2: you can explain yourself better.
Speaker 7: Then I definitely get to turn on from the money
Speaker 7: aspect as well. But I've been Polly ever since I
Speaker 7: was probably as far back as I can remember. I
Speaker 7: was never the jealous type, and I kind of always
Speaker 7: go back to this relationship I had in high school
Speaker 7: where my girlfriend she was exploring primarily with her bisexuality,
Speaker 7: and she was kind of like, I don't know how
Speaker 7: to tell you this or whatever. I was like, go,
Speaker 7: I'll have one, do you. You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 7: Like male or female. If you're intracted to somebody, like
Speaker 7: I want you to be happy, so get to know them.
Speaker 7: And then off of that, she was just kind of
Speaker 7: like cool, So she started like bringing her friends to me,
Speaker 7: like you should hang out with my man because he's
Speaker 7: real cool like that, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: And I've always.
Speaker 7: Enjoyed getting to know new people, and like just my
Speaker 7: capacity for being able to talk to different people or
Speaker 7: manage relationships has always been more vast than other people.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 7: The swinging stuff I got started with real early, because
Speaker 7: I mean I got involved in this industry when I
Speaker 7: was legally able to do so, so since I was eighteen,
Speaker 7: So I was kind of like, not that it was
Speaker 7: just like all just poured on me at once, but
Speaker 7: as different parts of it open to me, Like I
Speaker 7: really my first real experien instance where they was through
Speaker 7: like cuckolding, which.
Speaker 5: At the time, you know, you're like eighteen and you're trying.
Speaker 2: To I need to educate me, please care listeners.
Speaker 7: Cut holding is when a man likes to watch his
Speaker 7: wife with another man, got it. So there are different
Speaker 7: levels and extremities to it, though, like sometimes it's because
Speaker 7: that man feels inadequate.
Speaker 5: Sometimes it's because.
Speaker 7: That man just really likes watching his wife be pleased,
Speaker 7: so sometimes they'll join in.
Speaker 5: Sometimes they watch from afar.
Speaker 7: For me, it was primarily because like I've always just
Speaker 7: been very dominant, so it was more like men who
Speaker 7: wanted to be belittled or humiliated as I was with
Speaker 7: their wife.
Speaker 5: So you know, I got my.
Speaker 7: First work in the industry doing that, and that kind
Speaker 7: of led me into the BDSM stuff and the bondage
Speaker 7: and dominance and submission and all of that, and at
Speaker 7: the time, like trying to explain to my friends who
Speaker 7: are just kind of like you know, doing the basic
Speaker 7: eight trying to get a nut, they to do that too, though,
Speaker 7: scared the.
Speaker 2: Ship out of them.
Speaker 7: When told, they were like, what what do you mean?
Speaker 7: That doesn't make any sense to me?
Speaker 5: You know, is that my dog?
Speaker 2: Again? I think you might need Okay, I'm yelling at
Speaker 2: your dog. Your dog has his name is Chip? Guys, okay, appropriate.
Speaker 5: Robot dog holding them past.
Speaker 2: Jackson video back. Remember she's like in Tokyo and she's like, no, no.
Speaker 3: I didn't have Are you sure it's not Michael and
Speaker 3: her the world?
Speaker 5: Okay?
Speaker 2: I don't know. Sorry, I'm pulling that ship up on Okay, okay.
Speaker 4: So that brings me to another question, because I had
Speaker 4: this conversation with somebody briefly over the weekend. It was
Speaker 4: somebody I didn't know, and she was kind of young
Speaker 4: and like immediately when she made the comment.
Speaker 2: I was like, eh, never mind.
Speaker 4: So I don't know if I don't know if I
Speaker 4: was like I had to go back because I drove
Speaker 4: up north this weekend for like two days, and I
Speaker 4: drove back. I had a client up there and my
Speaker 4: best friend was up there. But I don't know if
Speaker 4: I was mentioning like I'm interviewing this really cool coup
Speaker 4: blah blah blah blah, and I was like a friend
Speaker 4: with a friend, and she basically.
Speaker 2: Made a comment about, like to the effects of I.
Speaker 4: Feel like certain people, oh, like people in the porn
Speaker 4: industry or like sex industry, something's wrong with them. They
Speaker 4: have something wrong with them. They you know, like they've
Speaker 4: experienced some type of trauma.
Speaker 2: Trauma.
Speaker 4: Obviously I'm not in the porn industry directly, but it
Speaker 4: immediately rubbed me the wrong way because I've always been
Speaker 4: a very sexual woman, even as a girl, Like I remember, like,
Speaker 4: I've always.
Speaker 2: Like, I've always been really open. I love people.
Speaker 4: I love like, I just genuinely love people, doesn't matter
Speaker 4: like man or woman. But if like souls connect, they connect,
Speaker 4: and that could be on different levels intimately, like sexually,
Speaker 4: like attraction has a lot of different you know, that's true.
Speaker 4: So I was like, for a brief moment, I saw
Speaker 4: myself like getting irritated and engaging in conversation with this
Speaker 4: like twenty five year old girl.
Speaker 2: But then I was like, I don't need to say that.
Speaker 2: I'm not ageist.
Speaker 4: I don't know just say they like like say it
Speaker 4: because she's twenty five, but you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: But I was just like, not necessarily like, I understand
Speaker 4: where you're coming from. I do know a lot of
Speaker 4: like strippers who've had a dark past. They a lot
Speaker 4: lesbians who maybe have been like had trauma. But that's
Speaker 4: and you know, some people are comfortable in what they do,
Speaker 4: and that's.
Speaker 2: Just how they choose to explore.
Speaker 4: You know, like, just because you're not comfortable with it
Speaker 4: and it makes you feel uncomfortable, doesn't necessarily make it
Speaker 4: feel like, you know, doesn't mean that there's something wrong
Speaker 4: with everybody who has, you know, a sex positive perspective?
Speaker 2: Do you, like, have you how.
Speaker 4: Do you deal with people who have like limited and
Speaker 4: closed minded perspectives or you know, label you you must
Speaker 4: or like or has there been some stop or something
Speaker 4: that you think, like directly because for a long time
Speaker 4: I have close ass friends who would tell me like,
Speaker 4: I mean, you know, I was my twenties. I probably
Speaker 4: was fucking way too much for no reason, but like,
Speaker 4: you know, like maybe there might be something wrong, maybe
Speaker 4: trying to fill avoid I.
Speaker 2: Don't know, but at least I considered it. I was
Speaker 2: rationalizing with myself.
Speaker 4: But being like the like socially, you know, there's there's
Speaker 4: there's judgment, and there's labels put on people who who
Speaker 4: are sexually comfortable and.
Speaker 2: Even with my closest friends even until now.
Speaker 4: I sometimes I try to explain to them certain experiences
Speaker 4: by because I'm like, this is a good story and
Speaker 4: they're like, oh, you know what Jamilla's you know, maybe
Speaker 4: you need to look for relax and sit and meditate.
Speaker 4: I'm like, this was my choice and I wanted to
Speaker 4: do it because it was fun. So like how like because.
Speaker 2: I've literally had to sit with myself and be like,
Speaker 2: has anything happened to me?
Speaker 4: Do I need to have like avvolation and if needs something,
Speaker 4: I've like harbored deep down in my toes that I
Speaker 4: can't remember, and that's why I'm this fucking But like,
Speaker 4: what's your experience with that?
Speaker 6: Like, so let's talk about this. So my background, I'm
Speaker 6: a therapist, Okay, that's right. Yeah, I'm currently practicing on
Speaker 6: licensed practice.
Speaker 4: So you're practicing justine like with sexual like sexual not everything.
Speaker 2: Okay m hm.
Speaker 6: So from you know, general anxiety to serious trauma the
Speaker 6: whole gamut. People have trauma traumatic experiences.
Speaker 2: You know, in general, there are.
Speaker 6: There's no high propensity in this industry, In that industry.
Speaker 2: You know, it's I mean.
Speaker 6: That person's been here really drawing a picture with a really, really,
Speaker 6: really broad stroke. There are definitely people in the industry
Speaker 6: that are probably more open to talking about their trauma
Speaker 6: because you will find that in this industry people that
Speaker 6: have traumatic experiences have used porn or the sex work
Speaker 6: to empower themselves to take back control of their sex, sexuality,
Speaker 6: things that may have been violated as young.
Speaker 2: Adults, what have you.
Speaker 6: But don't I don't know what the rape statistic is
Speaker 6: or the sexual assault statistically with some like, you know,
Speaker 6: like one, let's just say, like one in ten women
Speaker 6: have had some type of sexual inappropriate advance towards them.
Speaker 6: Not one in ten women are in the porn industry.
Speaker 6: So and again, don't take those numbers. I'm just kind
Speaker 6: of drawing, you know, drawing a picture here that just
Speaker 6: as many women in the porn industry are just as
Speaker 6: many women at your local community college that have, you.
Speaker 2: Know, had some type of trauma.
Speaker 6: So to suggest that it's just wrong, But you know,
Speaker 6: when we do talk to and I do a lot
Speaker 6: of therapy for people that are in the industry or
Speaker 6: in the lifestyle because they feel comfortable like they don't
Speaker 6: have to they could tell their good story, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 6: like that's a good story, right, and you know, they'll
Speaker 6: say that being in the industry has allowed them to
Speaker 6: have sex on their own terms or you know, the
Speaker 6: things that maybe they were shamed about, uh, you know,
Speaker 6: not even having trauma. Just people like yourself that have
Speaker 6: a high sexual appetite. There's no quota on how much
Speaker 6: sex you're allowed to have. You know, if you do
Speaker 6: pass this many, then y yeah, there's I mean, there
Speaker 6: really is no there's no number. But because we're just
Speaker 6: told to keep that number low whatever, and we don't
Speaker 6: even know what low is, right, then you have this
Speaker 6: shame that's put on you, you know, and so then
Speaker 6: you're like, you know, it's something wrong with me, and
Speaker 6: you're functioning.
Speaker 2: I'm assuming that you're gainfully employed, your children.
Speaker 6: Are well taken care of, it look beautiful, your skin looks,
Speaker 6: but you're taking care of yourself.
Speaker 2: So that that number is so arbitrary is just like
Speaker 2: placed on you by society.
Speaker 6: So I think that people have that idea that people
Speaker 6: who have more sex or people.
Speaker 2: That are don't care, you know, don't care.
Speaker 6: What people think, something must be wrong with that. And
Speaker 6: so I think that's where that idea comes from. But
Speaker 6: without a doubt, you know, Just like if we were saying, like, well, accountants,
Speaker 6: I hear accountants, you know have high levels of sexual
Speaker 6: side like yeah, you know, and there's must be something
Speaker 6: wrong with them to want to play with numbers all day.
Speaker 2: Nothing that happened to them when they were younger, you know.
Speaker 6: But as far as my own experience, I've definitely have
Speaker 6: and it's sadly I can say, like most women have
Speaker 6: had some type of inappropriate sexual contact, advanced non consensual
Speaker 6: sexual event that happened to me. That's not why I
Speaker 6: went into the industry. I got into the industry after
Speaker 6: what I was well into my thirties. I think those
Speaker 6: traumatic events have shown themselves in other ways.
Speaker 2: But I've been, you know, as a therapist. I've also
Speaker 2: believed in going.
Speaker 6: To therapy, So I've handled that stuff the way that
Speaker 6: people should, kind of a tree additional model. And I
Speaker 6: still find porn in the adult industry and adult entertainment
Speaker 6: to be exciting and fun. And I don't feel like
Speaker 6: I'm drawing on it based on those experiences or because
Speaker 6: of those experiences.
Speaker 5: I mean, I agree with you one hundred percent. I
Speaker 5: think if.
Speaker 7: If you looked at it like everyone in our industry,
Speaker 7: like porn does not have some sort of like lock
Speaker 7: on people who've experienced sexual trauma. You know, if you
Speaker 7: just look at people who've experienced sexual trauma and all
Speaker 7: those people are in porn, there'd be no one to
Speaker 7: watch it because we'd all be in it, right, you know.
Speaker 7: It's it's unfortunate that people do at the same time,
Speaker 7: you know, like what we come to now know is.
Speaker 5: Like slut shaming.
Speaker 7: Usually it's because they themselves feel that they can't get
Speaker 7: out of their box or they're ashamed of what they
Speaker 7: do behind closed.
Speaker 5: Doors, and they're like, damn, I wish I mean, I
Speaker 5: really throw it down.
Speaker 7: I wish I could do it on camera too, But
Speaker 7: you know, I don't have that confidence or my family
Speaker 7: or how I look at myself will change.
Speaker 5: So, you know, I don't think that there's any more.
Speaker 7: But I definitely agree with what Jasmine said that there
Speaker 7: are so many people in our industry who are comfortable
Speaker 7: in their own skin that they're willing to share their
Speaker 7: story because they feel like their story can help others.
Speaker 5: And I think it's the same with most artists period.
Speaker 7: You know, like if you speak to people who are musicians,
Speaker 7: they're willing to share a lot of traumatic stories with
Speaker 7: you because they're in touch with that part of themselves
Speaker 7: and also look at what they do as art as
Speaker 7: a way to overcome their.
Speaker 4: Trauma, celebrating even for us this podcast, the first thing
Speaker 4: I asked for, like, bitchalla, honestly want to be you know,
Speaker 4: because we are moms and that's a whole different thing
Speaker 4: like your mom. You can't hate that way. You're not
Speaker 4: supposed to have that much sex, you know, and there's
Speaker 4: like all these like especially for women and moms, and
Speaker 4: you know, so I've found that through like being honest
Speaker 4: and business. Yeah, maybe somebody somewhere I'll be like, you know,
Speaker 4: I don't feel that's bad about the ship ended last week.
Speaker 2: But another question, because I heard you say.
Speaker 3: Wait, I have a question, because I don't think we
Speaker 3: got to get to the question that you actually asked
Speaker 3: them before, which I'm interested in, is when we talked
Speaker 3: about you got your guys's relationship, how do you deal
Speaker 3: with do you I mean, I mean sure.
Speaker 2: I'm assuming, I'm not assuming. Let me just not frame
Speaker 2: the question this way.
Speaker 3: Do you guys experience any sort of insecurities and how
Speaker 3: do you deal with them? Like what are the rules
Speaker 3: of your openness? Do you like, if he came home
Speaker 3: after having like sex with somebody else, do you guys
Speaker 3: talk about it or is it just like, you know,
Speaker 3: what happened and we're going to take a shower and
Speaker 3: go to sleep, take a shower.
Speaker 7: We're so different, and I think that we're both very
Speaker 7: different in the opposite.
Speaker 5: Way than people think.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like if.
Speaker 7: If she goes out with somebody, I'm like, oh, give
Speaker 7: me all the details, please, you know, I mean, it
Speaker 7: turns me on, you know, like especially I think also
Speaker 7: because like especially when we first started, because this was
Speaker 7: something like a lifestyle, I have been living like I'm
Speaker 7: like vicariously living through her first experiences all over again.
Speaker 5: So I'm like, yo, what happened? Like, YO, tell me
Speaker 5: all about.
Speaker 7: It's like, I don't want to tell you, but you know,
Speaker 7: I mean, we do have certain rules that that we set,
Speaker 7: and those rules can change over time in one.
Speaker 5: Way or another.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 7: The main one that we have is being open and
Speaker 7: honest with one another, even if it makes the other
Speaker 7: one of us uncomfortable. I think one thing that I
Speaker 7: always say is that jealousy is a natural human emotion.
Speaker 7: Envy is dangerous right. And it's funny because there have
Speaker 7: spend times when Jasmine has been with other people sexually,
Speaker 7: and none of it has remotely made me as jealous
Speaker 7: as when she had this friend and they went to
Speaker 7: the gym together.
Speaker 5: And I was rich.
Speaker 11: I was like, but I want to go to the gym, though, Like,
Speaker 11: but you don't go to the gym until nighttime, and
Speaker 11: I like to work out in the morning.
Speaker 5: Like if.
Speaker 7: Hey girl, I'm terrible at five in the morning, I'm
Speaker 7: still up from the last night, so I shouldn't be
Speaker 7: at the gym.
Speaker 5: But but that's true.
Speaker 7: It's just like the things that can make us jealous
Speaker 7: of somebody else, we always make it like it's this
Speaker 7: sexual thing and this that and the other. Like I
Speaker 7: love when she's pleased, whether it's through me, whether it's
Speaker 7: through someone else, and it doesn't always have sexual sex
Speaker 7: isn't the only things that thing that pleases us in life,
Speaker 7: you know.
Speaker 5: So I just love seeing her happy.
Speaker 7: I love knowing that she's content with life and living
Speaker 7: her best life like that. Legit makes me happy and
Speaker 7: that's what I want for her, because that's what I
Speaker 7: feel love is to me. Love isn't like you gotta
Speaker 7: do everything in your life with me, or that shit
Speaker 7: ain't worth nothing, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: Like that, to me, that's not love, that's control, you
Speaker 5: know exactly.
Speaker 7: So it's like when you when you do get these
Speaker 7: natural feelings of jealousy, like we're all going to have them,
Speaker 7: whether you have an open relationship or you're completely monogamous
Speaker 7: or whatever different levels you have, but usually it's about
Speaker 7: your own ship, and mine was like in that situation,
Speaker 7: it was just like I really enjoy working out with her.
Speaker 5: She's really she she pushes me, she tells me like, yo,
Speaker 5: your foremost off and ship, you know what I mean.
Speaker 12: Like she's good like my boys don't care about that,
Speaker 12: you know what I'm say. So Like in that particular situation,
Speaker 12: I was just like, Okay, well, you know, I'm not
Speaker 12: waking up at five in the moment, you know what
Speaker 12: I mean, Like, that's not gonna happen.
Speaker 5: So maybe she'll help me in other ways.
Speaker 7: And it's more about myself than something she's doing, because
Speaker 7: it's not like she was sneaking off to the gym
Speaker 7: with her friends, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: So no, but I mean, to me, this.
Speaker 7: Is always a good example when I speak to people
Speaker 7: who are like, yeah, I want to try an open
Speaker 7: relationship or my first three soon, or this or that
Speaker 7: or the other, like you're gonna have a moment where
Speaker 7: you are like, I don't know, you know what I mean,
Speaker 7: You're gonna have that moment, but it's like, how do
Speaker 7: you process that moment? How do you work through that moment,
Speaker 7: and how do you benefit from it in the sense
Speaker 7: of like how do you use it to strengthen your
Speaker 7: relationship instead of break up over a fucking gym membership?
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
Speaker 6: I mean, yeah, I get jealous, but it usually has
Speaker 6: nothing to do with him and has nothing to do
Speaker 6: with the other person. It is because of something I'm
Speaker 6: not doing. So like maybe a couple of times if
Speaker 6: like he like went out on a date and I
Speaker 6: didn't have anything to do somewhere, Yeah that's I mean,
Speaker 6: And I'm like, well, why.
Speaker 2: Do I care so much?
Speaker 6: Like I knew he was going I don't feel I
Speaker 6: don't feel like my relationship is threatened, but it's because
Speaker 6: I'm bored and like this is who I would hang
Speaker 6: out and you know, so so it would be you know,
Speaker 6: reasons like that.
Speaker 2: So it's not it's definitely not an insecurity.
Speaker 6: I don't think that we could be in our relationship
Speaker 6: if we didn't have confidence in ourselves and each other
Speaker 6: and in the relationship. But you know, there are some
Speaker 6: people who don't really want the best for our relationship
Speaker 6: or don't understand open relationships, and that kind of can
Speaker 6: get that can get a little annoying and taxing. Sometimes
Speaker 6: you know, we won't we'll see it for for the
Speaker 6: other person. So you know, it'll be someone who's making
Speaker 6: some really funky moves, and he'll be excited because like, oh,
Speaker 6: you know, this person is you know, really good looking
Speaker 6: and we have a great rapport and I'm like, she's
Speaker 6: moving a little funny, you know. But then it's kind
Speaker 6: of like, well, is it because it's someone else, Like, no,
Speaker 6: I don't think it's that, And so sometimes we have
Speaker 6: to let these things play out.
Speaker 2: So like told you that this was being funny.
Speaker 6: But you know what the nice thing is is that
Speaker 6: he'll come and he'll say you were right, you know,
Speaker 6: and I saw it for myself and the same thing
Speaker 6: with me, Like, you know, he'll say, like, don't you
Speaker 6: think it's a little interesting that this person you know
Speaker 6: didn't say hello to me, like, why would you do that?
Speaker 6: We are, Yeah, we're a unit. It's obvious, we've discussed this,
Speaker 6: but they try to throw shade. So those type of things,
Speaker 6: you know, people get really focused on, like what about us?
Speaker 2: Sometimes the external.
Speaker 6: Factors that are a little bit more challenging than just
Speaker 6: like he and I think about, you know, our relationship.
Speaker 7: I think like at this point, I've always believe like
Speaker 7: fool's fall, you know, like if you stand for something,
Speaker 7: if you stand for love, you stand in that relationship,
Speaker 7: like you'll be able to work through anything because you're
Speaker 7: standing on a strong foundation. And our foundation is strong.
Speaker 7: So it's it's way more like it's funny people have
Speaker 7: a less of a reaction to me being in porn,
Speaker 7: then they do it to me being in an open relationship,
Speaker 7: you know, like they but like and not even that
Speaker 7: it's normal porn to them. They just be like, oh,
Speaker 7: that's some other shit, you know what I mean. But
Speaker 7: when it's an open relationship, they then look at Jasmine
Speaker 7: as an adversary instead of like we try to build something.
Speaker 7: You know, she ain't Jazz is understanding of my lifestyle.
Speaker 7: I'm understanding of Jasmine's lifestyle. So someone else is in
Speaker 7: the mix or whatever, like we're not enemies were but
Speaker 7: most like you.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's what people probably.
Speaker 7: Think, like, No, but I'm talking about people who are
Speaker 7: interested in one of us. Usually those those people, they
Speaker 7: before it ever even escalates to anything of worth, they
Speaker 7: already shot themselves in both feet and both needs because
Speaker 7: because they're like, you know, just as Jazz said, like
Speaker 7: maybe a woman is approaching me talking to me, but
Speaker 7: you don't speak to Jasmine or they.
Speaker 2: Won't say like like how is she? Exactly? You know,
Speaker 2: how is your day? How are your kids.
Speaker 5: Care about all around them? How's your kids? How's your mom?
Speaker 2: Again?
Speaker 3: And we don't we don't lift each other up, And
Speaker 3: so I probably I would assume is that a lot
Speaker 3: of the women that maybe approach are you know, it's
Speaker 3: kind of like a competition to them. I feel like,
Speaker 3: oh maybe I could take him. You know, it becomes
Speaker 3: like does he really love him? Let me test the limit,
Speaker 3: let me test him to see if he'll stand for her.
Speaker 5: And that's but I.
Speaker 3: Think, no, exactly, I think, of course, like because I
Speaker 3: think we did an episode about open relationships and just
Speaker 3: the idea of ownership, and people want to own you,
Speaker 3: and they just can't understand that you guys don't own
Speaker 3: each other, but you guys still love each other and
Speaker 3: you've chosen each other, and it's just like I think,
Speaker 3: it's just it's an interesting.
Speaker 2: It's an interesting idea, just a lifestyle.
Speaker 3: Because even for me, like I I came, I was
Speaker 3: in a relationship for seven years, and throughout those seven years,
Speaker 3: I wanted to have sex with other people, and I
Speaker 3: spoke to him about it and it just never came
Speaker 3: to be. Later to find out that he was having
Speaker 3: relations with many people, and I was like, well, damn nigga,
Speaker 3: like I told you, like and now I don't want
Speaker 3: to do that with you because now I don't trust you.
Speaker 3: So then leading out of that, like, I'm like, okay,
Speaker 3: I want to be I think I have to be
Speaker 3: in an open relationship.
Speaker 2: I can't imagine also.
Speaker 3: Bindly and jealous, but that's I'm I'm jealous, but I'm
Speaker 3: not probab jealousself.
Speaker 2: You didn't have someone liked good lie that.
Speaker 3: But I can't even say that though, because even with
Speaker 3: my last situation, I just was dating someone else. It's
Speaker 3: the first person I've dated since that relationship, and we
Speaker 3: have had a very open relationship, Like I asked him, have.
Speaker 4: You have to someone?
Speaker 2: Yeah, if that's someone cool, and there was no argument
Speaker 2: about it. But for me, I really enjoyed that.
Speaker 3: But I also realized my e how attached to my
Speaker 3: ego I was, and like I was like I would
Speaker 3: I would get it would hurt me a little bit.
Speaker 3: But then I was like, well, I'm glad that I
Speaker 3: have a choice, Like he's not robbing me of my choice,
Speaker 3: Like he's telling me what he's doing, and I can
Speaker 3: either choose to stay here or I can choose to
Speaker 3: walk away. And I realized from that situation that I
Speaker 3: have to kind of lead every relationship at least for
Speaker 3: me like that because I want to confront my jealousy
Speaker 3: because I don't want to be jealous. And I realized
Speaker 3: more than just jealousy, it's really my ego. I realize
Speaker 3: a lot of it has to do with my ego, like, oh, well,
Speaker 3: what is she doing? Then I can't do well, why
Speaker 3: what's so? What's so great about her? And I'm like,
Speaker 3: this is a good woman, is not my enemy? No,
Speaker 3: Like it has nothing to do right, It has nothing
Speaker 3: to do with her and everything to do with me,
Speaker 3: And I think once once you've been able to open
Speaker 3: yourself up like that like you guys have, I mean,
Speaker 3: it must feel like freedom, honestly, Like.
Speaker 7: It reminds me of when we were doing when we
Speaker 7: were doing our parties all the time. I mean, we
Speaker 7: still do fantasy flight parties. Make sure you book on
Speaker 7: everybody out there and podcasts, man, Yes, but when we
Speaker 7: do when we do our fantasy flight parties, one of
Speaker 7: the questions I would get would be that, like, what
Speaker 7: what is it that this woman does that I don't do?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 5: And I remember one time.
Speaker 7: You asked the ladies, like, how many of you have
Speaker 7: looked at your own vagina right?
Speaker 5: And hardly anybody said that they had right.
Speaker 7: And so then I'm asking, like, you've been with more
Speaker 7: than one man where all their dicks exactly the same?
Speaker 7: Hell no, So why do you think every vagina is
Speaker 7: the same?
Speaker 5: You know?
Speaker 7: And it's like this whole thing that I just got
Speaker 7: a message recently from a woman who's trying to figure
Speaker 7: out a situation with a partner, and it's just like,
Speaker 7: maybe she's not doing something different. Maybe it's not the
Speaker 7: feel or whatever. It's just people are different and nobody
Speaker 7: is the same, whether it be inside, outside, emotionally, anything,
Speaker 7: and if that person is looking for something else, it
Speaker 7: doesn't always mean that it's an affront to you. But
Speaker 7: once they're dishonest about it, they fucked up, and that's
Speaker 7: the bad part of that.
Speaker 2: I have an example of that.
Speaker 6: So early on in our relationship the birthday sex lady. Okay,
Speaker 6: there was a lady that he shares the same birthday
Speaker 6: with and they will kind of hook up around their birthday,
Speaker 6: and so she likes she's also the you know lady right, Oh,
Speaker 6: well she's around January too.
Speaker 2: I like naming them. So this there was one moment
Speaker 2: that she likes. Anal said, I don't.
Speaker 6: I am not in love with it, like you know,
Speaker 6: I'm getting familiar with it, but love it like no,
Speaker 6: And that's something like he should be able to try.
Speaker 6: I mean, if I was guying, I had to. I mean,
Speaker 6: I've done drop on scenes and it's really awesome to
Speaker 6: do it, but like to receive it not.
Speaker 2: It doesn't work for that way for me. So you know,
Speaker 2: in the beginning, I'm like, damn, like she can take
Speaker 2: it up the ass and I can't try harder. Yeah,
Speaker 2: then I'm like, I don't want to try. I don't
Speaker 2: like it. I mean, I don't hate it, but I
Speaker 2: don't love it.
Speaker 6: And we know, you know, we talk about like with sex,
Speaker 6: and it feels so much better if you are enjoying
Speaker 6: what you're doing.
Speaker 2: So who am I to stand in between him and
Speaker 2: her ass?
Speaker 6: Right?
Speaker 2: So I'm not gonna be in competition with with that.
Speaker 6: There's other women that he stated, like the one that
Speaker 6: likes to play like basketball and boxing, and she's like
Speaker 6: low key, like you know, she's like the gym, like
Speaker 6: the gym lady was, you know, to me, I don't
Speaker 6: want to do that ship. I don't want to No,
Speaker 6: I don't want to spar with you.
Speaker 2: I don't want to fuck. I don't want right, that's.
Speaker 6: Not fun for me. But it doesn't mean there's nothing
Speaker 6: wrong with me because I don't want to do those things,
Speaker 6: and there's nothing wrong with him for wanting to want
Speaker 6: to do those with a woman I like to I
Speaker 6: like to zumba, right, So that's mine, that's my I
Speaker 6: love I love it.
Speaker 2: It's like, okay, you know, I can't like dance anymore.
Speaker 6: Like I don't want to go late out out late
Speaker 6: at night dancing so I can get like a little
Speaker 6: taste of like loud music and movement. Yeah, I got
Speaker 6: a couple of them. He won't ask him you want
Speaker 6: to go to He's like, I'm not doing that. He
Speaker 6: just looks crazy. I'm not doing again, And.
Speaker 2: Who is he to stand in between me and my zoom? Yeah,
Speaker 2: I guess it's kind of understanding that you're never going
Speaker 2: to be everything to.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And that's why I like this relationship because I
Speaker 6: don't want to be and I feel obligated to trust
Speaker 6: too much and being I think like this style of
Speaker 6: relationship is really good for women that are a little
Speaker 6: bit older, have children, have businesses, have a lot of
Speaker 6: responsibility that and maybe don't you know, just don't want
Speaker 6: to be everything to every single person because there are
Speaker 6: times in my life where I feel like, you know, this,
Speaker 6: kidneys something, that kidney something, my job needs something, my
Speaker 6: family needs something, my man needs something. But if everybody
Speaker 6: could get a little bit of their satisfaction independently, then
Speaker 6: I can also.
Speaker 2: So I'm okay, would that? Yeah, I want a question.
Speaker 2: I got a lot of questions. I know, I got
Speaker 2: a lot of questions pertaining to this topic.
Speaker 4: Okay, So I know you mentioned like birthday anal girl,
Speaker 4: Like how how like that's.
Speaker 5: An awesome superhero name girl?
Speaker 2: She comes found your birthday birthday?
Speaker 4: Literally has there or is there currently like on either
Speaker 4: side or together like a long term person that everybody's
Speaker 4: cool with you like respects the relationship, respects you.
Speaker 2: You guys know maybe you guys do stuff together.
Speaker 4: Maybe not, but it's like a like, have you maintained
Speaker 4: a consistent like girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever girlfriend outside
Speaker 4: of your relationship.
Speaker 2: And are there rules and are there rules around that?
Speaker 2: Like if she.
Speaker 4: Had a boyfriend that had been around for like the
Speaker 4: last five years, but he was totally respectfully totally cool
Speaker 4: with you came to Christmas, Like how is that?
Speaker 2: Is that okay? Or is it like okay?
Speaker 7: Would be unfortunately, like for example, we had we had
Speaker 7: somebody that we both played with a little bit. I
Speaker 7: was dating her more, but she had a primary partner
Speaker 7: that in one instant she ruined it for all of
Speaker 7: us because she said something to the effect of she
Speaker 7: was gonna do something that was not really permitted in
Speaker 7: their relationship with her primary partner, and well, for us,
Speaker 7: it just debted it. Like for us, it killed it
Speaker 7: for us because we were like, well, that's your person.
Speaker 7: What you're gonna do for us? I mean, how you
Speaker 7: gonna treat us. I feel like that's been one of
Speaker 7: the issues that we've had because both of us like
Speaker 7: a woman like Jasmine, for most men, is super intimidating.
Speaker 5: You know, she runs her own business. I'm talking about
Speaker 5: she like, not hit my bad. She runs her own business.
Speaker 7: She's a mom like on some supermom ship, very dedicated
Speaker 7: to her family, runs her own practice, so not just
Speaker 7: one business, but like three, you know, so automatically for
Speaker 7: most men, it's like they want to step in and
Speaker 7: be like, I want to take care of your own situation. Yeah,
Speaker 7: tell you what what you're gonna do, even though you
Speaker 7: know I might not the dude might not even make
Speaker 7: as much money as you.
Speaker 5: Whatever, trying to stop you from making yours.
Speaker 7: Or you know, so like I feel like we run
Speaker 7: into that with certain men who when they approach her,
Speaker 7: their approach is just while off. So that that's one thing,
Speaker 7: and then on my side of things, a lot of
Speaker 7: the women who approach me are trying to do the
Speaker 7: same dumb ship women were trying to do before I
Speaker 7: was even with somebody, which has changed me for who
Speaker 7: I am like.
Speaker 5: I don't want to be saved. I'm good at how one.
Speaker 5: So it's like, you know, they'll try to step in
Speaker 5: and be.
Speaker 7: Like, sure you want to do this porn stuff, like yeah,
Speaker 7: it's working really well for me, you know what I mean,
Speaker 7: And like as I transition into just being a business owner,
Speaker 7: I'm still going to be doing what I do, you
Speaker 7: know what I mean. So it's just kind of like
Speaker 7: that is a turnoff. So we don't really run into people,
Speaker 7: especially if they're more on the vanilla side of things,
Speaker 7: who can even wrap their heads around what we do
Speaker 7: and then the take the porn and the kink and
Speaker 7: all that shit out of it. Just as business owners
Speaker 7: and people who like for both of us, we are
Speaker 7: turned on by people who like to work and go
Speaker 7: get their ship and hustle. Like that's one of the
Speaker 7: things that attracted us to each other was, Yo, we hustle,
Speaker 7: you know, so.
Speaker 5: Oh no, the pickens get slimmer, right.
Speaker 6: If you're out there and you don't like to hustle,
Speaker 6: that's okay.
Speaker 2: We can use it. Domestic help the children read.
Speaker 3: Speaking of children and family and all that, can you
Speaker 3: explain to our listeners what sex positive parenting is sure.
Speaker 6: So sex positive parenting is really just being able to
Speaker 6: have open communication with your children about sex. It's protecting
Speaker 6: your children from outside influences that educate them or miseducate
Speaker 6: them about sex, supporting them through their sex and sexuality journey,
Speaker 6: and also having good sex. Even though you have children
Speaker 6: like you having good sex or you guys, the parents
Speaker 6: are still continuing to be able to have good sex.
Speaker 6: I mean, if your children are having good sex, I
Speaker 6: hope that they are doing it from a pleasure based standpoint.
Speaker 2: And that is sex positive parents as well.
Speaker 6: It's like teaching our kids, not shaming them for having sex,
Speaker 6: you know, making sure that they're prepared if that is
Speaker 6: the route that they're going in that it is pleasure based,
Speaker 6: not pressure based.
Speaker 3: So yeah, it's so interesting to say that because I
Speaker 3: was listening. I was listening to this TED talk and
Speaker 3: they were talking about in I guess.
Speaker 2: It's in like the Netherlands.
Speaker 3: Uh, that's just like the women out there and just
Speaker 3: in society out there.
Speaker 2: I guess they talk about sex.
Speaker 3: I mean versus America, because Americas are so like shameful
Speaker 3: when it comes to sex, but they teach, they start
Speaker 3: talking about sex at such a young age with their
Speaker 3: with their with their girls, and they've got boys, but
Speaker 3: specifically their girls. Teachers, doctors, parents, that it is pleasure based,
Speaker 3: that they know what they want, they know that they
Speaker 3: don't want that. And in America, like I mean, at
Speaker 3: least I mean for I, adults don't know.
Speaker 2: I think I think it wasn't until maybe like in
Speaker 2: the last I.
Speaker 3: Think like maybe seven six seven years that I really
Speaker 3: start having sex for me, you know, like of course
Speaker 3: I had play miserable sex, but I wanted to please
Speaker 3: the man I was having sex with, and if I didn't,
Speaker 3: I felt like I failed, you know. And it's just
Speaker 3: crazy that we don't teach our kids about that.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know when the right time is too,
Speaker 2: I don't know if there is a right time. There
Speaker 2: is now it's right away.
Speaker 7: I mean, you want to start at least introducing anatomically
Speaker 7: correct terms to children from.
Speaker 5: When they can listen talk, so not even just when
Speaker 5: they can talk, Yeah, just.
Speaker 7: For them to hear it, because it's important for them
Speaker 7: to be able to if God forbids something bad happens
Speaker 7: to them, to be able to explain and to let people.
Speaker 5: Know what's going on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no.
Speaker 3: We did an episode about that because one of my
Speaker 3: friends is a therapist and she was like, she told
Speaker 3: me about so many different court cases with children where
Speaker 3: they called their vagina a butterfly or something just like
Speaker 3: a creature of some sort, and they couldn't convict that
Speaker 3: person because they couldn't identify their body. And from then
Speaker 3: on I was like, well, I was telling my daughter like,
Speaker 3: that is your vagina, that is your breast, like.
Speaker 2: No, peope, no, chee che, I don't even touch it lately.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that too, like just asking questions casually, yeah,
Speaker 3: like do an't eOne touch your vagina today? Oh no, okay, cool,
Speaker 3: let's go eat, like making it normal and not like
Speaker 3: did someone touch you?
Speaker 2: Would you tell me if they did? Like what are
Speaker 2: you doing?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 2: Has been like forever you're scorn, like, oh this is bad.
Speaker 4: I think that's probably half my masturbation issues, Like I
Speaker 4: feel like it's naughty and I'm like, I'm sorry your
Speaker 4: body yeah yeah, and then you like, wait, you're thirty
Speaker 4: to explore yourself.
Speaker 2: And you're confused.
Speaker 5: Well, unfortunately America was started by.
Speaker 7: People who were too proud for England, so you kind
Speaker 7: of you kind of look at like the people and
Speaker 7: the way this country was was built and the different
Speaker 7: social warriors that have pushed this country along for all
Speaker 7: of these years. Where it's so interesting, like I literally
Speaker 7: when jazz is breastfeeding or something like, I want somebody
Speaker 7: to come complain about.
Speaker 5: This shit because I want.
Speaker 7: But it's like, we live in a society where sex
Speaker 7: will sell everything, but a woman is shamed for breast feeting.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 5: And it's like products that don't even have nothing to
Speaker 5: do with sex.
Speaker 7: You know, it'll be someone that's half naked, but then
Speaker 7: at the same time they shame you for your body
Speaker 7: or for sex, right, you know. So it's like this
Speaker 7: crazy twisted idea that you know, kids are sold sex
Speaker 7: but then told that you know, if they touch themselves
Speaker 7: or being you know, if they just want to be naked,
Speaker 7: you know that there's something that's horrible about it and
Speaker 7: that they should feel bad for who they are.
Speaker 3: So you having because you have two kids, and how
Speaker 3: old are they seventeen and fourteen?
Speaker 2: Seventeen fourteen?
Speaker 3: So you did you start teaching teaching sex positive parenting
Speaker 3: from the beginning or is it something that happened much later?
Speaker 3: And then also, how do they deal with or how
Speaker 3: do they do they embrace or do they embrace your lifestyle?
Speaker 2: Was it a hard transition even or how do you
Speaker 2: avoid it? Because there's like social media and so no,
Speaker 2: we don't avoid it. We so we co parent the girls.
Speaker 6: We've been co parenting in them since they were twelve
Speaker 6: and eight and twelve.
Speaker 2: And no, I didn't.
Speaker 6: I started off very similar to the way that I
Speaker 6: was raised, which was you know, no communication, very like
Speaker 6: strict and you know, trying to avoid them ever having
Speaker 6: to like confront sex, which is ridiculous, and you know,
Speaker 6: they just like you said, like masturbation.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my gosh, like my daughter is masturbating.
Speaker 6: But I you know, I guess maybe as a therapist
Speaker 6: and as a child that that masturbated as well, was
Speaker 6: able to say, like, this is not sex, Like she's
Speaker 6: not in there having sex. She's self soothing, you know,
Speaker 6: And a lot of adults can use self soothing, you know,
Speaker 6: instead of always reaching out for other people to help
Speaker 6: them or or not sothing. So it just became more
Speaker 6: of an issue like if you're going to do this,
Speaker 6: just wash your hands, like that's my biggest thing. I mean,
Speaker 6: it seems, yeah, you know, like, Okay, let's put some
Speaker 6: boundaries around what you're doing. Don't do it in public,
Speaker 6: and things like that. So that was like my first like,
Speaker 6: oh my gosh, she's found her parts.
Speaker 7: You know.
Speaker 6: I was calling them silly names too in the beginning,
Speaker 6: and then kind of moving forward, which kind of propelled
Speaker 6: me to be like, all right, you have to figure
Speaker 6: out how you're going to communicate with these girls about
Speaker 6: sex in a way that's not going to shame them,
Speaker 6: because I was working through my own shame around sex,
Speaker 6: and I'm like, you know, this is what everything every
Speaker 6: challenge that you have as a woman and as a mother,
Speaker 6: even as a parent in general, when you're struggling, all
Speaker 6: you can think of is I don't want my kids
Speaker 6: to struggle with this. So thankfully for them, I was
Speaker 6: going through that exploration at the same time that they
Speaker 6: were discovering themselves. My daughter I found on the tablet
Speaker 6: she'd been watching porn and she was ten, So that
Speaker 6: was something that was very different.
Speaker 2: You know for us, we probably like.
Speaker 6: Stumbled upon porn, and you know, I didn't realize that
Speaker 6: at ten years old, and she would be like looking
Speaker 6: for porn or maybe stumbled upon it and then went down. Yeah,
Speaker 6: I thought like at that age, maybe she'd be like,
Speaker 6: oh my god, like this is discussing my computers broke
Speaker 6: or something.
Speaker 3: The first time I saw porn, I was about that age,
Speaker 3: and I was totally intrigued and wanted to watch more.
Speaker 2: Right, So, so what was that? You know?
Speaker 6: So I had to have a conversation with her about that,
Speaker 6: and of course, you know, initially I was like I
Speaker 6: was heartbroken, like what did she see?
Speaker 2: What did I do? Yeah? How did how did I
Speaker 2: let this happen?
Speaker 7: Right?
Speaker 6: And then it turned to a conversation about like porn
Speaker 6: is for people that are eighteen and up. So it's
Speaker 6: not like don't ever watch it's discussing it's bad. It's
Speaker 6: when you're supposed to you can watch it. It just like
Speaker 6: everything else. If you saw your kids looking at a
Speaker 6: bottle of beer, you'd have to explain that, you know.
Speaker 6: So I started to become more positive as you know,
Speaker 6: as I started to learn more about myself as for
Speaker 6: them knowing what we do that Like, like you mentioned,
Speaker 6: I was starting a business with pole dancing and fantasy
Speaker 6: flag parties and things like that when the girls were young.
Speaker 6: So they've been on this journey with me. You know,
Speaker 6: it's like, oh, you're doing a party, Well, what do
Speaker 6: you guys do at that party? So I told them
Speaker 6: enough that was appropriate for their age. We had a
Speaker 6: pole in the dining room. You know, I'm learning new
Speaker 6: tricks to teach the ladies at my parties. They knew
Speaker 6: I wasn't stripping at the time and people weren't coming
Speaker 6: to the house getting lap.
Speaker 2: Dances, so you know, it is what it is. I
Speaker 2: didn't want to.
Speaker 6: I didn't want to shame myself for enjoying pole dancing.
Speaker 6: And my daughter, who is a gymnast, would say, like, well,
Speaker 6: if you like tucked your hips.
Speaker 2: Under and tighten your core, you'd be able to hold
Speaker 2: that longer. Like shit, okay, you know, so.
Speaker 6: Like little you know, things like that. They've been along
Speaker 6: the journey. As far as I'm knowing what we do.
Speaker 6: They know I don't want them to stumble across it.
Speaker 6: They embrace it, like you know, I don't know how
Speaker 6: to explain it. They're they're fine with it. They love
Speaker 6: that we make money, that's number one. They love that
Speaker 6: we're happy. You know, nothing about their foundation is threatened by.
Speaker 2: What we do.
Speaker 5: Social media is black.
Speaker 4: Both kids yeah, happening if their friends ever like, have
Speaker 4: they come to you? Like my friend said like like,
Speaker 4: how how's that obstacle?
Speaker 6: So it's happened in the beginning, well, once it's happened,
Speaker 6: and my daughter was like, oh, yeah, they found your
Speaker 6: Instagram page and I was like, okay, good, so y'all
Speaker 6: on Instagram and I spoke to the children that were
Speaker 6: following me and maybe their parents as well. So I
Speaker 6: think when the kids saw that, like oh shit, like
Speaker 6: we can't like her mom's bed, like she's not gonna
Speaker 6: let you shame her, and you know, I just said like,
Speaker 6: if you're looking at my sights, then you're doing something inappropriate.
Speaker 6: And you know, the kids will tell like so now
Speaker 6: they're like people will come like, hey, like I saw
Speaker 6: something about your mom, and so.
Speaker 2: My daughter's kind of like, what what's happening?
Speaker 6: You know, and then they feel a little uncomfortable like
Speaker 6: oh do I tell her? And my daughter will say
Speaker 6: things like well, you know that's an adult site, so
Speaker 6: you're not supposed to be on there, right, So educating
Speaker 6: them how to have comebacks if you know, they're.
Speaker 5: Fine in that way, Like the weirdest one.
Speaker 7: One time, my niece and I taken her out to
Speaker 7: go shopping or.
Speaker 5: Something for school. She's like a whole bunch of my
Speaker 5: friends followed.
Speaker 7: But at the time she was in college, but it
Speaker 7: was still She's still a baby to me.
Speaker 5: So I'm like, what do you mean they followed?
Speaker 7: They need to not be following me, And she was like,
Speaker 7: I'm nineteen, they're in college.
Speaker 5: I'm like, well, tell them to stop following.
Speaker 2: You tell a ninety year old not to do something
Speaker 2: they don't.
Speaker 7: I mean, I think it's interesting just because most most
Speaker 7: of our family, we're open and honest with them because
Speaker 7: we wantn't want them to be like blindsided by somebody.
Speaker 7: So I think it's very important to let them know,
Speaker 7: like this.
Speaker 5: Is what's going on, this is what's happening that way there.
Speaker 3: So did you have like a sit down with your
Speaker 3: family or was it just more of like gradual, gradual
Speaker 3: and gradual and.
Speaker 6: Then with the girls, like I had decided at a
Speaker 6: certain age kind of like all these things kind of happened,
Speaker 6: like right around turning thirty.
Speaker 2: That I want to be who I am.
Speaker 7: You know.
Speaker 2: That I'm their mother. I will provide for them, I love.
Speaker 6: Them, I'll do everything that I am supposed to do
Speaker 6: and more.
Speaker 2: But I have to be who.
Speaker 6: I am, and even if they don't like who I am, like,
Speaker 6: that's okay because when they become older, they'll remember, like,
Speaker 6: they'll respective respect it, and they'll be who they want
Speaker 6: to be as women, you know, and that's fine with me.
Speaker 6: I may not like that either, but as long as like,
Speaker 6: you're okay with it, and you know, we talk about
Speaker 6: natural consequences with everything, like being imporn means that there
Speaker 6: are some natural consequences.
Speaker 2: You know, maybe you'll lose.
Speaker 6: Some respect from some people that you probably don't even
Speaker 6: care about.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 6: Being in the adult industry has its perks and it
Speaker 6: also has its drawbacks. There's certain things I have to
Speaker 6: tell my daughters, like block your page. I need to
Speaker 6: see everybody that is following you. We can't post where
Speaker 6: we are in the moment that we're at that place.
Speaker 6: So it has it's it's it's drawbacks. But at the
Speaker 6: end of the day, they're seeing two people that love
Speaker 6: ourselves and then we love each other. We have you know,
Speaker 6: we're able to even show them a healthy relationship, which
Speaker 6: I know people who are not in the porn industry
Speaker 6: who can't.
Speaker 2: Offer that to their children. I think we only have
Speaker 2: a few more questions.
Speaker 13: Guys.
Speaker 3: I want to get you guys out of here because
Speaker 3: I know you get a baby, but I just have
Speaker 3: a I wanted to ask you as far as the
Speaker 3: femdom and all that and everything in that world or
Speaker 3: I'm so like stupid wanting to talk about this because
Speaker 3: I'm un educated.
Speaker 2: But are you do you? Or do you consider yourself
Speaker 2: a dom? Or are you? I know you do, so,
Speaker 2: then how does that work if you both are? Or
Speaker 2: would you ever? Are you ever submissive?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: Have you ever been? Never?
Speaker 7: I mean I've put myself in situations where I guess
Speaker 7: you can consider it.
Speaker 5: I don't know. It's hard to like, I'm not a
Speaker 5: submissive person.
Speaker 7: I've never been a submissive person, always kept both middle
Speaker 7: fingers up to authority.
Speaker 2: But you have to be a submissive person in your
Speaker 2: and like you have to be.
Speaker 7: There are situations and circumstances, like for example, with flogging.
Speaker 7: Like I've been flogged before, but I didn't consider myself
Speaker 7: to be a submissive when I was getting flogged. I
Speaker 7: wanted to know how it felt so I can apply
Speaker 7: it on other people and know what I'm doing. If
Speaker 7: I do something nice for Jasmine. I think people's perceptions
Speaker 7: of what domination and submissive are are are almost like
Speaker 7: as rigid as every other box that people try to
Speaker 7: put themselves into. So I'm not like if we're at
Speaker 7: home and she's like, can you do this for me?
Speaker 5: Like, no, I'm a dominator that ship, you know what
Speaker 5: I mean, Like, it's not it's not like that, you know.
Speaker 7: I Also, I don't consider Jasmine to be a submissive
Speaker 7: at all either. We're equals, so we don't dominate each other.
Speaker 7: There are certain like I guess sometimes you will say
Speaker 7: you're a switch, but I don't really look at you
Speaker 7: as a switch though, you know what I.
Speaker 2: Mean, Well, yeah, I'm not.
Speaker 6: I do like maybe situationally or if I say, like,
Speaker 6: you know, like you make all the decisions, but it's
Speaker 6: it's still very like I'm making a.
Speaker 2: Decision right.
Speaker 6: And well for professional purposes. Sometimes I do switch just
Speaker 6: because I want to try something new. Like one of
Speaker 6: the cool things for me about being in the industry
Speaker 6: is that you like, where else are you going to
Speaker 6: be able to like put a strap on on your
Speaker 6: foot and fuck somebody.
Speaker 13: In the ass, like on your foot, yeah, like this, yeah,
Speaker 13: like you know, or wrestling, and I, you know, those.
Speaker 2: Experiences just don't like pop up on my Facebook feed.
Speaker 6: So I some there are some being tied up and
Speaker 6: tickled and forced orgasm and things like that. I've been
Speaker 6: able to do, like fun shoots like that that require
Speaker 6: me to take on a submissive space even though I
Speaker 6: like cursing the whole time. So that's why I usually
Speaker 6: say I'm more dominant, but I'll say that I'm a
Speaker 6: switch because I him be in those situations and have
Speaker 6: fun or explore them.
Speaker 2: But yeah, we don't. We don't dumb each other like we.
Speaker 3: Just do you guys have any specific fetishes that you
Speaker 3: guys are into individually?
Speaker 2: Like what are yours and what are yours? Is there
Speaker 2: anything you're not into?
Speaker 3: I mean, I guess there's some if you're not if
Speaker 3: you're not like submissive, there's probably certain things you're probably
Speaker 3: not down for.
Speaker 6: But yeah, but even though I may like them to
Speaker 6: do other people right now, I think so it was
Speaker 6: edging for a while. Now it's definitely spitting, yeah, like
Speaker 6: and someone's not everywhere all over them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that, And then edging can you explain
Speaker 2: to what I know?
Speaker 6: So edging is when you are withholding someone's orgasm, you know,
Speaker 6: so you're bringing them like just to a point and
Speaker 6: not allowing them to have an orgasm.
Speaker 2: That's one of the forms of edging.
Speaker 7: For me, I think my longest lasting fetish. And it
Speaker 7: has not changed, like it's just like ingrained to who
Speaker 7: I am. It's just I'm an exhibitionist. I love to
Speaker 7: be wi it never fails, like someone's there watching, I'm
Speaker 7: extra turned off.
Speaker 5: As of late.
Speaker 7: I mean, I would say different forms of impact play
Speaker 7: have been more and more what I'm into, Like I
Speaker 7: got into flogging about three four years ago and now
Speaker 7: I'm into whips.
Speaker 2: Can you tell us for the listeners? What's flogging?
Speaker 5: Flogging is everything? Flogging Flogging is an impact play that's
Speaker 5: done with.
Speaker 7: It can be material of any so it could be leather,
Speaker 7: it could be like elk, it could be plastic cord.
Speaker 7: But it's usually like tassels like these right here. I
Speaker 7: bring them with me sometimes because people ask these questions.
Speaker 7: So it's these kind of tassels and you work them
Speaker 7: about someone's body. So it can be light touches, it
Speaker 7: can be sent touches, sensual touches.
Speaker 3: This is kind of like this chain nice, So this
Speaker 3: is what I see you whipping around and.
Speaker 5: Dangerous.
Speaker 7: So like the impact, Like if you like getting spanked,
Speaker 7: you like getting spanked, so it's it's similar to that.
Speaker 5: But each material is different.
Speaker 7: Each way that you hit someone is different, so it
Speaker 7: sends different sensations through the body.
Speaker 5: I like doing it rhythmically.
Speaker 7: I'm a musician, so like the rhythm part of it
Speaker 7: is a big turn off for me. Watching what it
Speaker 7: does to a person's body, like how it changes their
Speaker 7: breathing or how it makes them move in different ways,
Speaker 7: Like it's an extreme turno because it's just like another
Speaker 7: way to please somebody, And for me, I think BDSM.
Speaker 7: I love it because as for play, it just extends everything.
Speaker 7: It makes everything longer, it makes everything psychological. So by
Speaker 7: the time you even get to edging, or by the
Speaker 7: time you get to actually penetration, penetration or climax, it's
Speaker 7: been built up so long and so strong that it
Speaker 7: just makes it that much more enjoyable and that much
Speaker 7: more explosive. So like we're flogging, to me, you get
Speaker 7: to explore somebody's body without even touching them, you know.
Speaker 7: So now I've been learning how to use dragontails, which
Speaker 7: are a different form of whip. It's kind of like
Speaker 7: a folded over fabric kind of like if you imagine,
Speaker 7: it gives you the same feel, but I think in
Speaker 7: a more concentrated way than if someone snaps you with
Speaker 7: a towel. And so like, I'm also learning how to
Speaker 7: throw a bull whip now, and like different kinds of whips.
Speaker 2: Who knew there's so many levels to this interesting.
Speaker 5: And that's the other thing that I feel is.
Speaker 7: Sexy and romantic about it is, especially when you're doing
Speaker 7: it with your partner. It's like y'all are learning different
Speaker 7: things together, and mostly because both of us, Like Jazz
Speaker 7: is real nice with her hands, Like it's beautiful to
Speaker 7: watch her and like the hands she can warm somebody
Speaker 7: up for me to then go even harder with a
Speaker 7: different kind of instrument, or she takes to riding crops,
Speaker 7: and so it's like we're learning different things that we
Speaker 7: then use together on people.
Speaker 3: So for any of our listeners who like are interested
Speaker 3: in just getting more and just experimenting in any realm
Speaker 3: of this, what would be like, what's like the beginner's guy, Like,
Speaker 3: what's like, how do you intro into.
Speaker 5: A fantasy flight.
Speaker 7: Because I tell everybody a fantasy flight party is the
Speaker 7: same as when you go on vacation.
Speaker 5: You know where you want to be, Like I want
Speaker 5: to go to Turks and kkos. You don't fly your
Speaker 5: own planet. That's what we do. You're like, I want
Speaker 5: to learn how to flogg.
Speaker 7: I want to experience being flogged, or I want me
Speaker 7: and my friends to just have a party where we
Speaker 7: find out what our kinks and our fetishes are. That's
Speaker 7: where we come in. We wear those you know, with
Speaker 7: the pilots. We get you there. You know, we set
Speaker 7: it up, We make sure that it happens in a
Speaker 7: way that's going to be safe and pleasurable, and judges
Speaker 7: or if you don't want to have it be a group.
Speaker 7: We do private fetish training one on one or for couples.
Speaker 2: Email for these schedules.
Speaker 6: You can do info at jet Sitting jazz dot com
Speaker 6: or on any of our social media and will direct
Speaker 6: you based on.
Speaker 5: What is come go down on us and go down, go.
Speaker 2: Down people going down in them. Okay, I have one
Speaker 2: last question, one last question just because you just had
Speaker 2: a baby, and I know when I had a baby,
Speaker 2: I know we have a lot of listeners that have
Speaker 2: children or are pregnant or thinking about having kids.
Speaker 3: For me, when I was pregnant, I don't know about you.
Speaker 3: I wasn't horny at all. I didn't want to have sex,
Speaker 3: and even after having my kid, I think I think
Speaker 3: I was just I was definitely going through postpartum and
Speaker 3: also I I wasn't comfortable with my body anymore, and
Speaker 3: which definitely didn't make me feel comfortable having sex either.
Speaker 2: My partner didn't understand what I was going through. How
Speaker 2: did you?
Speaker 3: How did you feel when you were pregnant as far
Speaker 3: as sexually and then how now because you're the only
Speaker 3: eight weeks postpartum, how are you transitioning back into sex?
Speaker 2: Are you having sex.
Speaker 3: Or do you have any recommendations for people that that
Speaker 3: are because I feel like I wish I would have
Speaker 3: had someone to explain what was going through, what was happening.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so, yeah, this is really fresh for me. So
Speaker 6: in the beginning, I was sick the first three trimesters,
Speaker 6: so that was gross. No, the first I mean I
Speaker 6: meant to say the first three months.
Speaker 2: With all three children. The first trimester, it was horrible.
Speaker 6: So we didn't have sex then because I would literally
Speaker 6: like throw up. After we had I was I know,
Speaker 6: I felt bad, but we found other ways to connect.
Speaker 2: With one another.
Speaker 6: I think that's probably the most important part. Like even
Speaker 6: when I didn't feel like turned on a horny, I
Speaker 6: felt loved and I felt close, you know, just him
Speaker 6: either taking care of me or like when I was
Speaker 6: going through a lot of like hormonal shifts, he wouldn't
Speaker 6: feed into it. He just kind of like let it pass,
Speaker 6: you know, but still validating the craziness, but let it
Speaker 6: like let it pass.
Speaker 2: So that was important.
Speaker 6: The second trimester is when we filmed our sacred sex film,
Speaker 6: like just.
Speaker 2: One I saw that congratulations.
Speaker 6: So that was fun and it was fun to do
Speaker 6: because we were trying to figure out like what positions
Speaker 6: to get into and I think I was self conscious
Speaker 6: of my body and like what can we do? And
Speaker 6: then we would start and then I'd be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 6: that's no, no, that don't feel good anymore.
Speaker 2: Like wait, you on the baby, you know.
Speaker 6: But it was fun and because it forced us to communicate,
Speaker 6: he had to do different things, and you know, so
Speaker 6: that in itself, it's like if you don't go in
Speaker 6: with the expectation that you're going to be like smooth
Speaker 6: like butter, and that you are going to stop a
Speaker 6: couple of times, you might laugh at each other, then
Speaker 6: you're going to go into having a good time. And
Speaker 6: then towards the end, I kind of felt like I
Speaker 6: felt big, and you know, it wasn't It wasn't quite
Speaker 6: the same.
Speaker 2: I did watch a lot of peorn because you were
Speaker 2: traveling a lot by the way, you know.
Speaker 6: And the interesting thing is that I watched things that
Speaker 6: I wouldn't normally watch that way.
Speaker 2: I was watching a lot of gang Bang I don't know,
Speaker 2: and I don't I normally like nothing's wrong with them,
Speaker 2: It's just not my genre.
Speaker 6: And it was like, I don't know, I need to
Speaker 6: go and test and see if it still works.
Speaker 2: Now I was gonna, you know, I haven't that's your
Speaker 2: normal genre lesbian? Really yeah, I hate.
Speaker 5: That was like me.
Speaker 2: It was like the first porn I ever watched, and
Speaker 2: I just still love it.
Speaker 5: Still doesn't.
Speaker 2: I used to like it, but now I'm like this,
Speaker 2: this is fake. Don't run it for me.
Speaker 5: I think it depends on who you watch.
Speaker 6: You don't watch girl, I never lets me experienced, and
Speaker 6: I was like, it's just well, well for me, and
Speaker 6: I'll go back to the pregnancy thing.
Speaker 2: Let's be important. It's just it's softer sensual. It's more sensual.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 6: I mean, women we connect much faster with each other,
Speaker 6: just not even sentually, just you know, hey girl, and
Speaker 6: you know we know how to be like instant best
Speaker 6: friends in the moment, so that trans translates.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: There's also like a lot of white girl porn and
Speaker 4: it's like, oh yeah, and I watched it.
Speaker 2: I don't listen to the sound.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mute it, or I like playing music because
Speaker 6: I audio will turn it off.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, okay, none of this. So I was
Speaker 2: watching silent gangs.
Speaker 5: And did they have clo.
Speaker 2: You that? Oh god. So the third times was a
Speaker 2: little bit more challenging.
Speaker 6: Yeah, a couple of times, like and then I wanted
Speaker 6: the baby to come out, so you know, let's do this.
Speaker 2: So that wasn't super sensual. It was very functional.
Speaker 6: And then yes, we've had we had sex, like the
Speaker 6: day that I turned eight weeks like eight weeks post
Speaker 6: part of and.
Speaker 2: Actually four days ago. It was good. It was really enjoyable.
Speaker 6: I am conscious of my body, you know, I'm not
Speaker 6: comfortable and it just doesn't feel like, I'm very I
Speaker 6: am aware of why my body has changed, that it's
Speaker 6: going to take some time for it to go back
Speaker 6: into place, or maybe we'll never go back to how
Speaker 6: it was. But I my new normal, what I wanted
Speaker 6: to be. It's going to take time to get there.
Speaker 6: But it doesn't mean I'm comfortable. Like you know, coming here,
Speaker 6: I was like, Okay, this is vague enough, and can.
Speaker 2: I breastfeed in it? And can I say thank you?
Speaker 6: Can I say it for a long time? With these
Speaker 6: buttons and all that kind of stuff. I just put
Speaker 6: a postpartum project on my Instagram and website today and
Speaker 6: it talks about all of those like the shift mentally physically,
Speaker 6: and also doing a nude photo shoot six weeks out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was six weeks in DC.
Speaker 6: Six weeks postpartum, no makeup, no filters, no touch ups
Speaker 6: to the just this is what a thirty eight year
Speaker 6: old woman's body looks like after having her third child
Speaker 6: after fourteen years.
Speaker 2: And you know, it's not so bad. I bet, girl,
Speaker 2: because you look good. Thank you dude.
Speaker 3: But I don't mean yeah, I mean I think most
Speaker 3: women I'm probably don't you mean she was like this
Speaker 3: small when she was pregnant and then like what like
Speaker 3: like bounced back like five seconds.
Speaker 2: But like, yeah, when when I first saw my baby,
Speaker 2: I was like, what is going on? Even sex? I
Speaker 2: was like, what is this? I even thinking?
Speaker 6: Like when I do get back down the side, like
Speaker 6: my breast stag before, so like are they going to
Speaker 6: be even more? You know, I had to stretch marks
Speaker 6: and are they going to be even worse? So all
Speaker 6: of those things. But I've never been turned down because
Speaker 6: of my body, you know, And so I'm like I
Speaker 6: don't think that's gonna happen.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And then for you, I have like pregnancy sex.
Speaker 2: What is that like for a man? Is that is
Speaker 2: Is it true that the pussy is tighter? Is it?
Speaker 3: Do you feel the baby's head? Like honestly, I know
Speaker 3: you don't, but you know or have you ever had
Speaker 3: pregnancy sex and porn? Like prior to that, I hadn't
Speaker 3: had it in porn, but I had in life.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I know it wasn't his baby, Let's get that real clear.
Speaker 5: I think it was.
Speaker 4: Would you have been opposed if she wanted to have
Speaker 4: somebody else while she was parkning with your baby?
Speaker 2: Because that's a big man thing, because you guy are
Speaker 2: so open. But like for a man shot, I didn't
Speaker 2: do any penetration. Okay, yeah, would you have had a problem.
Speaker 5: That's our body for to make that ship.
Speaker 2: I was no, very yeah.
Speaker 7: I think for me, even even in the first trimester,
Speaker 7: she was like I'm sick and all this, you know,
Speaker 7: I was just like, my baby is sexy as hell,
Speaker 7: like when people say that pregnant glow, Like I saw.
Speaker 5: That in her the entire time.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 7: It's just like I found her to be even more attractive.
Speaker 7: And even if we weren't having sex, it was just
Speaker 7: kind of like let me, let me, let me talk
Speaker 7: to you know what I mean, let me touch it,
Speaker 7: let me hold you, let me what do you want?
Speaker 7: What can I get you? Like, I felt very much
Speaker 7: connected and sex wise, like when like especially, I mean
Speaker 7: I think about the scene because it was it wasn't
Speaker 7: like at home. You know, when you're at home, it's
Speaker 7: just kind of like, yo, let's get it in, let's
Speaker 7: do it. You know, how are you comfortable? Where are
Speaker 7: you comfortable? But in the scene, it's like, well, where
Speaker 7: are you comfortable? How are you comfortable? And how are
Speaker 7: we going to make it look good a way that
Speaker 7: you're comfortable with it looking because it was like Jazz
Speaker 7: was like, I want to show women positions that they
Speaker 7: can do when they're pregnant, So when we take the pictures,
Speaker 7: we need to do it from this angle so they
Speaker 7: could see where we're do it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: Like it was that aspect of it.
Speaker 7: Really made me, made me appreciate just what a woman
Speaker 7: has to go through body wise in a situation we've
Speaker 7: had sex so many times or shot so many times,
Speaker 7: and any other time she was like I don't give
Speaker 7: with a camera, like let's.
Speaker 5: Get it, you know.
Speaker 7: So it was like, I don't know that is the
Speaker 7: pussy did for I mean, I felt that she was
Speaker 7: wetter all the time, just natural body stuff is going on.
Speaker 7: So that aspect of it, but I don't know how
Speaker 7: to explain it. It was just like a different kind of connection,
Speaker 7: a deeper kind of connection.
Speaker 5: Cool.
Speaker 2: Yeahful, Yeah it is. No. You guys are amazing.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for coming on sharing your life,
Speaker 3: a little snippet of your life with us.
Speaker 2: I we have we had like a lot of questions
Speaker 2: coming in. We're like, oh my god, we have so
Speaker 2: many questions, and I feel like I feel lightened. I
Speaker 2: feel super enlightened. Yeah, and I feel like my perspective
Speaker 2: has changed.
Speaker 3: Like im not not to say that I was judgmental,
Speaker 3: but I didn't understand fully. I was intrigued by it,
Speaker 3: but I didn't fully understand how you balance your lifestyle.
Speaker 3: And it seems so.
Speaker 2: Non natural and normal. That makes sense. I'm really excited
Speaker 2: for all of our listeners.
Speaker 4: To hear it.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Yeah, definitely make sure that they go to Royal Fetish
Speaker 7: xxx dot com, jetset and Jasmine dot com. And if
Speaker 7: they are going through certain things, then they need to
Speaker 7: go to.
Speaker 2: Blue Pearl Therapy. It's Blue Parol Therapy dot org.
Speaker 3: Awesome, cool, thank you, thank you, thank you for having us. Well, guys,
Speaker 3: that's it for tonight's episode. Make sure you also follow
Speaker 3: us I could Mom's Bad Choices.
Speaker 2: And we will see you next week.
Speaker 3: Oh and we're gonna out you out with Kimar's new
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