1 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 1: It's I Do Part two. I'm one of your celebrity mentors, 2 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:18,079 Speaker 1: Jen Fessler. You know me from the Real Housewives of 3 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: New Jersey and the podcast I co host to Jersey Jays. 4 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:23,920 Speaker 1: I have been having so much fun on this podcast, 5 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:26,400 Speaker 1: getting to chat with people who found love in their 6 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 1: chapter two and today my guests are my dear friends, 7 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,199 Speaker 1: an amazing couple. Everyone loves them. You know them from 8 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 1: Real Housewives of New Jersey. Please help me welcome Margaret 9 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,480 Speaker 1: Joseph's and Joe Binigno. 10 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 2: Oh my god, we're so happy to be here. Hi, 11 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:45,240 Speaker 2: you guys with our dear friend Jen Fessler. 12 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 1: Yes, I have to say, so far, since I've started 13 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:52,840 Speaker 1: hosting these I Do Part two, I've had only really 14 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 1: people that I love on Friends. Oh, I have those 15 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:57,800 Speaker 1: farmers on who I did love them too. I have 16 00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:58,680 Speaker 1: to be honest, I love it. 17 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:01,000 Speaker 2: I have to listen to the fun Yes, who the farmer? 18 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 1: They are so cute, They're adorable. They're doing this new show. 19 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,320 Speaker 1: But we digress. So we're here to talk about Margaret 20 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:10,080 Speaker 1: and Joe. You guys, We're going to go through some 21 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:13,240 Speaker 1: things for our listeners that things that I probably know 22 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:15,200 Speaker 1: but they don't and I know things that you know 23 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 1: because we have a lot of viewers and listeners that 24 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:23,039 Speaker 1: are not necessarily even housewives people. So, yes, is there anybody? 25 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 1: Is there anybody in this world? 26 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,039 Speaker 2: And I understand it a lot of people don't watch. 27 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 1: Housewise, that's true. Well, yes, okay, So let's talk a 28 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 1: little bit about to get to chapter two, we're going 29 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:37,840 Speaker 1: to start with chapter one. So I want to know 30 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,680 Speaker 1: a little bit about your first marriages, and Joe, let's 31 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:42,880 Speaker 1: start with you. I don't know you know, however, much 32 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:44,920 Speaker 1: you want to kind of reveal about what it was 33 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,920 Speaker 1: like in your first marriage. How old were you when 34 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 1: you got married? How many kids? 35 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 3: I guess a brief synopsis would be, Yes, I was 36 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,400 Speaker 3: married when I was thirty years old. 37 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:57,720 Speaker 2: That's old. 38 00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:58,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, I was old. 39 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: Jeff thirty six. 40 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 3: Was the last one of my friends. And I had 41 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 3: the first kid when I was thirty five. Okay, and 42 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:11,280 Speaker 3: I have a son and a daughter, and one is 43 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 3: now thirty four. The other was thirty three, right three. 44 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 2: Yes, Yes, I love the ask, Margaret, you're me and 45 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 2: I didn't birth those you asking. 46 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 3: Over time, we grew apart, as couples do occasionally when 47 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 3: you have kids. When they have, there's a lot of 48 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 3: stress involved with the children. Basically we were like we 49 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 3: were mostly separated for a few years before the divorce 50 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:40,919 Speaker 3: because we lived like almost separate lives. 51 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 2: Is that what it was? I just think that you 52 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 2: were two different people. Just say, no, Joe, why didn't 53 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,640 Speaker 2: you just be candids? You were very different people. 54 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,639 Speaker 3: Because I'm going to be seventy years old this year 55 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 3: and my freaking brain don't want. 56 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:53,680 Speaker 1: I don't even believe you. 57 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 2: No, impossible, No, why don't you just be very candid? 58 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 2: You were very different people. 59 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 1: Well, let me ask you were extremely different before you 60 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: met Margaret. Was the marriage already? Were you already on 61 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: the out? 62 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 3: Yes, you were for a long time. I was. We 63 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 3: had way different ideas on basically everything. After the kids 64 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 3: came and the kids wanted to hang out as kids do, 65 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,760 Speaker 3: they want to hang out with the dad and play around, 66 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 3: and the mother wants to be strict and the dad 67 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:28,680 Speaker 3: lets them fool around. 68 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 1: So that is that was that sort of when it started, 69 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,120 Speaker 1: like the separation between like. 70 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 3: Child child real things that we'd like to do, Like, 71 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 3: we had completely different ideas on what was fun you 72 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 3: know for us as a couple. Yeah, and it just 73 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 3: diverged from there, and then I wanted my kids to 74 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:54,720 Speaker 3: get into college before I before I thought about separating 75 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 3: or getting divorced, because this way they were separated out 76 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 3: of the entire arguments. 77 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 1: So interesting because I remember those thoughts going through my 78 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 1: mind when Jeff and I separated. My kids were much younger, 79 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,160 Speaker 1: but I thought, Okay, we can't get divorced until they 80 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,520 Speaker 1: go to college, and we should get all of that stuff. 81 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 1: And then I don't know how you guys felt, but 82 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,280 Speaker 1: like my kids went to college, it would have been 83 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 1: maybe even harder, at least in my situation, I feel 84 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 1: like they would have been. When my son first went 85 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 1: away to college, the dog died, I thought he was 86 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:25,039 Speaker 1: gonna have a nervous breakdown, so, you know, he just 87 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:28,600 Speaker 1: felt so far away. But anyway, okay, Margaret, you're up. 88 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 2: I mean, Joe's so funny. He's like, he doesn't really 89 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,640 Speaker 2: talk about his first marriage. It's absolutely kind of fight. 90 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:35,719 Speaker 2: You're like, wow, we grew apart in the past. 91 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 3: You know, it's I. 92 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 1: Mean, are you guys well jumping ahead, but are you 93 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 1: guys in a place right now where she could hear it, 94 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,839 Speaker 1: like hear you talking about. 95 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:50,040 Speaker 3: Oh, let me say this. My ex wife is buddies 96 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:50,800 Speaker 3: with my wife. 97 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:55,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, now we're very good only Margaret, Joseph Margaret. 98 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 2: It was important to me because we did not have 99 00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,839 Speaker 2: a good relationship, his ex wife myself. But now we 100 00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 2: do and I think she's you know, we've come to 101 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:06,719 Speaker 2: a very good place. We bonded over a common enemy. 102 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 2: So that was you know that was and wait my 103 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:13,560 Speaker 2: head is spinning over yet. Is that would be Joe's 104 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 2: son's ex wife, got it? Yes, which is great. Yes, 105 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 2: we love you know her and I both agreed. She 106 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:22,160 Speaker 2: was never good enough for our for our son. Nothing 107 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 2: like us nat daughter, nothing like a nasty daughter. And 108 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,520 Speaker 2: to bring the time together. Yes, my first husband, I 109 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 2: was madly I will be honest like I was. Well, Joe, 110 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 2: were you madly in love with her when you first 111 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:34,000 Speaker 2: met her? 112 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:35,239 Speaker 3: Yes, I'm sure of course. 113 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 2: I mean that was like your third engagement. 114 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,159 Speaker 3: It was well, practice makes perfect. 115 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 2: Wow, Okay, Joe was not candid. You hared like numerous 116 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 2: engagements before you married. 117 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 3: I went out a real lot. 118 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 1: I was like a whore, really, man, Well, whore is 119 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,920 Speaker 1: not I mean engaged? Whore is one thing? Joe, just 120 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:53,359 Speaker 1: I have to I want to giggle a little bit 121 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: because Joe's. 122 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:59,719 Speaker 2: Care Joe's very his chair went all the way. Yes, 123 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:00,919 Speaker 2: you're graceful about it. 124 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 1: I don't have to stand up. Yeah, there you go, 125 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,839 Speaker 1: There you go. But I mean engagements, I mean I 126 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: believe it in terms of the horring, I had my 127 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 1: own horring that went down in my twenties. But in 128 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,479 Speaker 1: terms of engagement, so you were engaged twice before you 129 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:15,880 Speaker 1: tied the knot. 130 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,480 Speaker 3: Twice or three times? 131 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,359 Speaker 2: Joe, Joe was having what is going on here that 132 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:24,840 Speaker 2: you're you're you're not remembering? Don't you get asked a 133 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:25,359 Speaker 2: lot about that? 134 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:25,520 Speaker 4: Do you? 135 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:26,360 Speaker 2: Guys get out? 136 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:32,800 Speaker 3: We get people ask us about how we miss. Yeah, 137 00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:35,600 Speaker 3: I know that's from from like that second forward. 138 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:38,479 Speaker 2: So that's I was just thinking that that's easy to 139 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 2: I was thinking that broken engagements met his wife, they 140 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:47,160 Speaker 2: got married. You know, Joe was a very nice I 141 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,599 Speaker 2: think a devoted first husband and a devoted second husband. 142 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:53,000 Speaker 3: But I think you were more devoted second husband. 143 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,680 Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, that's a nice thing to say. Oh he is, 144 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 1: he's a great husband. I can't I know, but even 145 00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: saying that for you know, I think it was wife. 146 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,479 Speaker 1: I don't know if she would agree, But I mean 147 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,479 Speaker 1: that's a nice things say. 148 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know what you would say. 149 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,240 Speaker 2: Okay, I think you were a good husband. You were good, 150 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,120 Speaker 2: you were a good provider, you were home a lot. 151 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 2: You didn't go way. Let you want like a dirty 152 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 2: stay out? 153 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 1: Oh no, okay, No, I can't believe you just had 154 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,280 Speaker 1: dirty stay out. My best friend uses that expression all 155 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 1: the time. One of my favorites. 156 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 2: You know, unlike your wife. 157 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:23,240 Speaker 3: You know, my wife is a dirty stay out. 158 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 2: I love to stay out. 159 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 1: I was gonna I was about to say, I know 160 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:28,560 Speaker 1: you're talking about your ex wife to me, dirty stay 161 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:29,440 Speaker 1: out is dirty. 162 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 2: No, I wasn't dirty. I'm gonna stay. 163 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 1: I stay my late nights. 164 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:33,280 Speaker 2: I'm not dirty. 165 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 3: I know I call it a dirty stay out because 166 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:37,520 Speaker 3: she's not home supper with me. 167 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 1: No, yes, that's you guys. My head is I have 168 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 1: to slow down because my head is spinning. I'm like, 169 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 1: as you're saying that, I would know. I wanted to say, 170 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 1: like how Joe always wants you to be there at 171 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 1: the airport, like to pick him up, Like these guys 172 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 1: have the greatest relationship. 173 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 2: And I'm not doing the airport pickup. I never I 174 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,880 Speaker 2: think it's rude that he even asks. But I know 175 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 2: it happens. 176 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 3: It happen twice. 177 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 2: I don't think it's nice to ask. Again, don't even ask. 178 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 2: I'm taking a car service. Would I want someone to 179 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,240 Speaker 2: pick me up at the airport and won an airport 180 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:03,840 Speaker 2: pick up? Don't ask me to pick up the airport, 181 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 2: neither my cail Ie to pick him up at the 182 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:10,160 Speaker 2: airport service. I'm not wasting for yes, exactly, I'm not sring. 183 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 1: I digress. Yeah, I'm digressing. So you and Jan were 184 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:13,880 Speaker 1: madly in love when you met. 185 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 2: Yes, I was really crazy for him. Yes, I think 186 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:20,560 Speaker 2: because he had the three kids. It was important to 187 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 2: me to marry someone who was a good father, you know, 188 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 2: maybe the good husband part. You know, I missed out 189 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 2: on a little not that he was a bad husband, 190 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 2: but he was controlling, he was older, you know, and 191 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:31,560 Speaker 2: he was a great guy, you know. But it was 192 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:34,240 Speaker 2: his second so I was his second, right, I had 193 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,680 Speaker 2: the second wife. I've never been a first wife, right, 194 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 2: So the you know, I was younger. I was twenty four. 195 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,120 Speaker 2: He was forty four. Wow to twenty years when you 196 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 2: probably told me that, But twenty four is young. Yes, 197 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 2: I was twenty four. I moved on with him when 198 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 2: I was twenty four, he was forty four. I had 199 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 2: a beautiful family, beautiful life. I had full time help. 200 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:56,679 Speaker 2: I had a very beautiful, privileged life. 201 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,880 Speaker 1: Okay, because it was I do. I thought I knew everything. 202 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: Twenty four I must have known twenty four to forty four, 203 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 1: Just real, quickly, just how did you meet a forty 204 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:04,600 Speaker 1: four year old to. 205 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,480 Speaker 2: Twenty I worked in the garment center, right, yes, dress designer. 206 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 2: He owned Joseph's brother's lace and embroidery. You know, very 207 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 2: you know, the Joseph's brothers. You know big in the 208 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:18,320 Speaker 2: lace and embroidery. Okay, you know, garment center is very different. 209 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,680 Speaker 2: He had just gotten divorced. You know. He looked younger, 210 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,440 Speaker 2: but he was. He was a great father. He had 211 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 2: custody of three children. His ex wife was nervous about that. 212 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:29,679 Speaker 2: Age twenty four. I was delusional. I thought it was 213 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 2: no big deal. We have help, we have kids, they 214 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:35,480 Speaker 2: go to sleep away camp. Not I'm very maternal though, 215 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:40,559 Speaker 2: you know, contrary to popular belief in the Bravo world. 216 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaker 1: Because people think you're maternal on the world. 217 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 2: In our inner circle, okay, but in because I don't 218 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 2: you know, put my kids on television everything else. People 219 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,959 Speaker 2: don't Joe knows. I'm like a hoverer, right, What am 220 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:52,240 Speaker 2: I like? 221 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 3: Yeah? Never end it? Does it? 222 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,600 Speaker 1: It? No? I mean I know your relationship. 223 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 2: Yeah with my son and yes, and then Jane and 224 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 2: I had a son together, which you know, we're not 225 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:01,920 Speaker 2: going to say names because I don't like to put 226 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 2: it out there. Yes, and same thing. I think, you know, 227 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,080 Speaker 2: it's very hard when you have children someone and I 228 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,719 Speaker 2: think the thing with you knows though, I think he 229 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:17,560 Speaker 2: was his amazing father, very devoted father. I said to him, 230 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:20,400 Speaker 2: you know, you got the father thing so perfect, you know. 231 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,839 Speaker 2: The second time, Ra'm I don't think it got the 232 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:25,679 Speaker 2: husband thing perfect. And I'm not insulting. It's just you 233 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:26,440 Speaker 2: talk about Joe. 234 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 1: Or Jam Jam Jams, not the husband thing. 235 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:30,400 Speaker 2: Joe's perfect. 236 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,360 Speaker 1: Yes, I'm obsessed with agreed. 237 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:33,120 Speaker 2: Do I not say it? 238 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:34,040 Speaker 4: Yes? 239 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,920 Speaker 2: Yes? Never Ever. In the last few weeks, have I 240 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,560 Speaker 2: not had a new found obsession again? 241 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:40,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't understand. 242 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:41,559 Speaker 2: I love that I have. 243 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:42,320 Speaker 3: I've been trying. 244 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 2: I've been like, you're unbelievable. I've had a new found obsession. 245 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 3: I've been he's watching all these MOPI movies, I think 246 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 3: that's what it is. 247 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:50,439 Speaker 1: But I you know, but I do. 248 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,959 Speaker 2: I'm happy the life I had the first time. I 249 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 2: had a beautiful life, a beautiful family. You know, it 250 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:01,080 Speaker 2: was great. But we did grow apart. I think I change. 251 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 2: You change as you get older. Yeah, I don't regret anything, 252 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 2: but you know, I wanted something different. We were combative. 253 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,680 Speaker 1: You know, you're either one of you thinking of divorce 254 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,520 Speaker 1: before you met each other. Were you gonna sit it out? 255 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:15,640 Speaker 2: Oh? 256 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 1: You both were in that mind test? Yes, oh absolutely? 257 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,160 Speaker 1: Did you talk about it with your exit. 258 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:20,680 Speaker 3: I mean I was. 259 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:24,679 Speaker 2: Definitely in therapy, couples therapy. We were in therapy. We 260 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,959 Speaker 2: had issues. I did not you know, I was married 261 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:31,520 Speaker 2: twenty years long, which is a long time because I 262 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:32,200 Speaker 2: was a young girl. 263 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:34,480 Speaker 1: It's a long time. I'm learning all this stuff. I 264 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:35,320 Speaker 1: thought I knew it all. 265 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was a young I mean I was with 266 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,640 Speaker 2: him twenty years. Maybe I was married eighteen or the twenty, 267 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,439 Speaker 2: you know, but we were together. I was twenty four. 268 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,120 Speaker 2: I didn't move out till I was forty four, right, 269 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,600 Speaker 2: but we I was with him a very long time, 270 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,199 Speaker 2: and I did you know Joe's kids had gone to college. 271 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 2: But yeah, we we had known each other for years, 272 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:57,439 Speaker 2: for years really, yeah, but we never. 273 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,559 Speaker 3: Not as like as like sort of acquaintances. 274 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,480 Speaker 1: Was there a spark when you guys like, was there 275 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,839 Speaker 1: always a flirtation going on when you saw each other? 276 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:08,440 Speaker 2: No, never a flirtation. Inter see each other parties. We're 277 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,319 Speaker 2: friends with this lovely gay couple who were decorators and 278 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 2: Turier designers, Marco and Chris and Marco right, okay who 279 00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:16,640 Speaker 2: you know broke up also? 280 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:17,120 Speaker 1: Right? 281 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 2: Yeah? 282 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 1: And so you would see each other with your exes, yes, okay, Yes, we'd. 283 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 2: Be at parties. Joe's wife would never go to My 284 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:25,199 Speaker 2: wife never went. 285 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 3: Well maybe maybe once a dinner for Marco's dad. 286 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, And then we would see each other at these events, 287 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 2: and Joe and I would always chu, you know, just nicely. 288 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 2: But then years later I needed work done in my home. 289 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you had some work done in your home. 290 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:42,560 Speaker 2: I had some work done in my home. 291 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:46,280 Speaker 3: But all my guys used to do work for Chris. 292 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 3: We used to do he was like a big decorator, 293 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:52,680 Speaker 3: so we would do entire homes. So it was basically 294 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:58,000 Speaker 3: written apart and make beautiful edifices. Right, And so they 295 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,079 Speaker 3: told me and I don't really pay attention to names. 296 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,679 Speaker 3: My brain is dead. So they told me we were 297 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:07,439 Speaker 3: going to go over Margaret's and I said, Margaret, Well Margaret, No, 298 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 3: I said, who know? Hells Margaret. I didn't remember. And 299 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,240 Speaker 3: they were like, no, no, you know who she is. 300 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,199 Speaker 3: And I was like, no, I really don't. And we 301 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:17,440 Speaker 3: went into some house and I'm walking around the house 302 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,319 Speaker 3: with my notepad and I'm just making notes. I'm like, well, 303 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:22,280 Speaker 3: we're going to do this, this, this, this, this, and 304 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:23,719 Speaker 3: then she came down the stairs and it came to 305 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 3: me who she was and that was that. 306 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:27,199 Speaker 2: What I was wearing. 307 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,200 Speaker 3: She was wearing a wife beater and no bra. 308 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:34,080 Speaker 2: I was wearing my pajaws, my fear of bro and pigtails. 309 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 3: I can't pigtails. 310 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 1: Let me just tell you, for all our listeners, that's 311 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,960 Speaker 1: not that unusual Margaret. I've seen Margaret. We've all seen 312 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,079 Speaker 1: Margaret to nowhere to know what she looks like naked. 313 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,400 Speaker 1: She's a very free spirit. Yes, And I came down to. 314 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 2: My pajoh on bottoms like and the little ribbed tank 315 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 2: top and no bra. But any of you know what 316 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:50,080 Speaker 2: that is, you guys. 317 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,559 Speaker 1: It's a very thin material. Yes, it is, So that 318 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 1: was it where you just hooked that well, my god, 319 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:54,840 Speaker 1: it was. 320 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 3: Just about hooked right on the spot. 321 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,040 Speaker 2: But yeah, but it wasn't like all of a sudden, 322 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,400 Speaker 2: Oh my god. You know we developed a friendship. We 323 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:05,719 Speaker 2: were both in bad marriages. You know, it's not like 324 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,959 Speaker 2: all of a sudden, I'm like sleeping with Joe. It's not. 325 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,280 Speaker 2: That's not the way it happened. It was months and 326 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:11,360 Speaker 2: months long time. 327 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:22,920 Speaker 1: I remember you told me a story that I actually 328 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,520 Speaker 1: thought was very romantic, where you guys were in the 329 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 1: city walking across the street coming from pace. So tell 330 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:29,760 Speaker 1: that story. I love that story. 331 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:30,440 Speaker 4: It is it is. 332 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,560 Speaker 1: It's complicated obviously because at that point that you guys 333 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:35,960 Speaker 1: were both married, but it tells the story, and you. 334 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,640 Speaker 2: Know it was between you and it was and you know, 335 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,080 Speaker 2: I didn't think I was gonna have a weird went 336 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:43,200 Speaker 2: to discuss work. I used to put up these displays 337 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:44,400 Speaker 2: for business. 338 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,440 Speaker 3: She brought these plans that were like multiple pages, and 339 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:51,280 Speaker 3: I really normally for work. I look at it. I 340 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,160 Speaker 3: got the gist. I know what we're going to do. 341 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,680 Speaker 3: Now we don't have to talk about anymore. But I'm 342 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,000 Speaker 3: looking at these plans, say. 343 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 2: I was at the bar at noon at you or 344 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 2: a cocktail. 345 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:04,440 Speaker 3: I probably die. 346 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,120 Speaker 1: He's remembering, like the actual business of it. You're remembering, 347 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,000 Speaker 1: like the fact that is hard. 348 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:11,160 Speaker 2: Told me I thought it was odd I met went 349 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:14,280 Speaker 2: to me in Pesties at noon and you ordered a cocktail. 350 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,160 Speaker 2: It's like, wow, that's so weird. He's wearing your cocktail 351 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,800 Speaker 2: at noon. Well, anyway, I kept the shirt. I saw 352 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 2: the shirt I wore that day. It was a little 353 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 2: western shirt with little flowers. 354 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:23,720 Speaker 1: And it was but did you know at that point 355 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 1: where you're like, this is because but I. 356 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 2: Wanted to look cute. And I remember I had platform 357 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,200 Speaker 2: high heels and bell bottom jeans. Shocker. 358 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:31,520 Speaker 3: I don't remember what it wore. 359 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 1: But you were having the cocktail, did you? Were you 360 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,000 Speaker 1: a little or was it just Margaret bringing pages and 361 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:36,720 Speaker 1: pages of plans? 362 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:36,920 Speaker 2: No? 363 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:40,000 Speaker 3: No, probably because I was meeting March. But I had 364 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,800 Speaker 3: had World War four hundred and fifty got it that morning. 365 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:47,200 Speaker 3: I was so angered, I can't even tell you. And 366 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,240 Speaker 3: I see Marge, and you know, of course I feel 367 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:53,080 Speaker 3: better because she's March right, and Marge's we're talking and 368 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 3: she she knows me real well by then, and she 369 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 3: says what's the matter. And I was like, and I 370 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,720 Speaker 3: tell her what happened, and then margin turn tells me 371 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,840 Speaker 3: that she had fight number three hundred that morning, right, 372 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,400 Speaker 3: and and both of us were like, you know, like yet, 373 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,240 Speaker 3: it's almost as if the angst comes out of you now, 374 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:17,800 Speaker 3: you know. And then we settled down and we probably 375 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,600 Speaker 3: didn't talk about the work anymore, right. 376 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 2: And then what happened. 377 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 3: We walked across the Oh that was freaking wild, So 378 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:28,160 Speaker 3: you know, one of those once in a lifetime events. 379 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,560 Speaker 3: So it was I remember it was raining out and 380 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 3: she had some sort of kerchieff or whatever you call it, 381 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:46,960 Speaker 3: baby joke. Yeah, she put this anyway, she put over 382 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,240 Speaker 3: both our heads, which I was like, I'm usually a 383 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 3: guy who I can stand in the middle of the 384 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,440 Speaker 3: pouring rain and I don't know, I don't care. And 385 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,760 Speaker 3: she puts over our heads and we're walking and she 386 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 3: has her normal six or ten inch high heels on it, 387 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:03,680 Speaker 3: and she stumbled and so I have fast reactions. I 388 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,880 Speaker 3: caught her right and I pulled her into me social 389 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,040 Speaker 3: wind fall and that was it. I was hit with 390 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,119 Speaker 3: like an electric shock from my head to my toes 391 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,719 Speaker 3: and I was like, holy, what is going on here, 392 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,120 Speaker 3: like the instant. 393 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:21,600 Speaker 1: I just got like I actually just got chills. It's 394 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 1: like the most beautiful, perfect love story, except that you 395 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:26,120 Speaker 1: were both man. 396 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 2: But like it was it, but that's it. 397 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,520 Speaker 4: But there is that like you can't it really didn't 398 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,240 Speaker 4: matter that way. Yes, I know, you can't take away 399 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,440 Speaker 4: that that was what was going on. No, it was, 400 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:37,040 Speaker 4: and I knew, like and I felt it too. I 401 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 4: was like, I'm in trouble, Like what is going on here? 402 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:41,800 Speaker 4: This is crazy? 403 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is terrible, Like I don't know what to 404 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:45,160 Speaker 2: do here. 405 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:49,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, and then you know, and it wasn't like, oh 406 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,280 Speaker 3: my god, I have to have sex with this girl. Immediately. 407 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,720 Speaker 3: It was like instant attraction. It was not sex. 408 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,359 Speaker 1: That's that's I love that because I was I was 409 00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:58,720 Speaker 1: about to actually say to you, like, you know, I 410 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:02,639 Speaker 1: think a lot of people feel the spark they're married, 411 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:07,440 Speaker 1: they connect, there's something that happened different than this. I 412 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,040 Speaker 1: feel like this was like we're in trouble. 413 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,639 Speaker 2: Yeah right, it was. Yeah, it wasn't a sexual thing. 414 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,399 Speaker 2: I mean, obviously I wanted to have sex with you, 415 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,359 Speaker 2: but I'm just saying it wasn't that it was like 416 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:20,640 Speaker 2: I'm crazy for this guy and now, you know, people 417 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,360 Speaker 2: step out on their marriage, they want to have sex 418 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 2: with someone, it happens, they could recover from that and 419 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,719 Speaker 2: everything else. This was something that I couldn't recover from, right, 420 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,719 Speaker 2: I guess this was something that went too far. 421 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:31,879 Speaker 3: Oh you wanted to recover? 422 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:33,840 Speaker 1: No, no, no, But you know what I was saying, 423 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,639 Speaker 1: because at that point it would have been easier probably 424 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:36,919 Speaker 1: to recover, but there was no recovering. 425 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,280 Speaker 2: There was no recovery. I get it, you know, and 426 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,680 Speaker 2: and I knew that, and you know, months went on, 427 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,119 Speaker 2: and you know, we got together. 428 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:45,760 Speaker 1: You guys at the beginning of it, were you saying 429 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:49,520 Speaker 1: to each other, this has to happen, like we can't. 430 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 1: Was it really quickly? But that you were like, we 431 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 1: got to leave and we got to start over? Or 432 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:55,679 Speaker 1: does that take some. 433 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:59,080 Speaker 3: Time away right away? Because we're both hesitant because both 434 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,800 Speaker 3: of us were really somewhat family orientated. 435 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, they were both like into your family, and I 436 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,120 Speaker 2: was like, what am I gonna do? My older kids 437 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,080 Speaker 2: were out my you know, my son was still home, 438 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,399 Speaker 2: and you know, I was like, you know, my family 439 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:13,040 Speaker 2: dinners on Sunday night, and I was like, but I 440 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:16,160 Speaker 2: was like, I can't let my son see me unhappily married. 441 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 2: That's not healthy for him. And I can't be with that, Joe, 442 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:21,680 Speaker 2: and this is no way and I can't live like this. 443 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,280 Speaker 2: And you know, and I think you obviously felt the 444 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:24,720 Speaker 2: same way. 445 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,480 Speaker 1: Sure before you told your spouse's or had that discussion 446 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,600 Speaker 1: which I want to talk about, But did you confide 447 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:34,280 Speaker 1: in friends with anyone? And how did your friends react? Well, 448 00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:37,840 Speaker 1: my one friend totally did something horrible. My best friend 449 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,200 Speaker 1: in the world, who I wrote about in my book, 450 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:42,159 Speaker 1: the betrayal was unbair. 451 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:46,359 Speaker 2: What did you do? This is terrible, you know, because 452 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,000 Speaker 2: it was going to unravel her life. This is terrible. 453 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,200 Speaker 2: You don't know this guy, you know, just horrible. So 454 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,760 Speaker 2: I was like, listen, this is all My My other 455 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 2: friends understood because they knew I was in a you know, 456 00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,000 Speaker 2: my marriage wasn't perfect and the rest of my life 457 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,919 Speaker 2: life was and they were like, it's a big decision, 458 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:06,680 Speaker 2: and they understood. My other friend was horrible, horrible. 459 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,359 Speaker 1: Well, what can we tell, Like, just listeners, because I 460 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,960 Speaker 1: have to tell you when Jeff and I separated and 461 00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 1: we had come from infidelity and all of it. But 462 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:18,920 Speaker 1: like my friends were always supportive. Well, thank god, let's 463 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 1: do what it's going to make. 464 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:24,120 Speaker 2: You should not be judgmental because no one your life, 465 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:25,960 Speaker 2: no one knows what's going to happen. 466 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:27,600 Speaker 1: And I think. 467 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,440 Speaker 2: To turn on your best friends. I mean, this is 468 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 2: someone who I they need you to her wedding and 469 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:37,680 Speaker 2: I needed her the most, and to turn on me 470 00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:41,760 Speaker 2: she and I just want to say this. I was 471 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 2: so heartbroken. Her husband had said to me, you're driving. 472 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 2: I'm watching you drive a runaway train. You're going to 473 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 2: wind up alone. You're going to have nobody. You're going 474 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,800 Speaker 2: to be alone with your mother and your son on 475 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:58,600 Speaker 2: a holiday, like really sick, sick, disgusting things. And it 476 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 2: was bit and I was like, you know, it's not 477 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 2: like I was in a perfect I was marriage and 478 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,280 Speaker 2: everybody knew that. They knew I had a great life 479 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 2: and a beautiful thing. But I was like, Jan deserved 480 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,000 Speaker 2: to be happy as well. He deserved to be someone 481 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 2: who is mainly and on a great team. We were 482 00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:17,720 Speaker 2: in therapy. You know, he obviously was not as happy 483 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,080 Speaker 2: with me either. He wanted some as much as he 484 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,520 Speaker 2: loved me, he wanted me to be different. I was spontaneous. 485 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,480 Speaker 2: I'm crazy. You know what I mean that you know 486 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:30,800 Speaker 2: Joe could is a spontaneous person. He could accept my spontaneity, 487 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:35,200 Speaker 2: he could accept my risk taking live life on the edge. 488 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:39,560 Speaker 2: Jan was risk adverse. He was happy with I get that, 489 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,120 Speaker 2: Like I have that, Jeff. 490 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,560 Speaker 1: I think one of the reasons why we work is 491 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,680 Speaker 1: because he looks at me like Joe looks at you like, yes, 492 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:47,560 Speaker 1: well I don't know what the guy stepped into here, 493 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,280 Speaker 1: but but but it is. 494 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,760 Speaker 2: But it is entertaining. Yes, he's the man behind the woman. 495 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:57,760 Speaker 2: He loves you and no matter you know, yes, you know. Yeah, 496 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,400 Speaker 2: as much as Jan found me, he could not tolerate. Yeah, 497 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:02,800 Speaker 2: I mean he was gonna blow his brains out. 498 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,240 Speaker 1: I get that. Made that's so interesting. 499 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:08,000 Speaker 2: So it just so my one friend, really one of 500 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 2: my bad really turned on me, right Jeff, that's really 501 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:13,879 Speaker 2: I have to say, Like no, and got involved with 502 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:18,520 Speaker 2: my children. That's sick and caused a lot of family tumult. Well, 503 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:19,679 Speaker 2: you know something, I will. 504 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,159 Speaker 1: Say that when Jeff and I got back together, I 505 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,159 Speaker 1: did have a couple of friends. They didn't say it, 506 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:25,280 Speaker 1: they said it to be supportive, but they said, Jen, 507 00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,440 Speaker 1: you have you really given yourself a chance, like you're 508 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,120 Speaker 1: getting back together already just because it didn't work out 509 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,800 Speaker 1: with this boyfriend. How do you know that there's not so? 510 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,560 Speaker 1: But I knew, Like that's why maybe you just have 511 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,560 Speaker 1: to trust yourself, like you want to talk to your 512 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,720 Speaker 1: friends and be able to get the input. But I think, 513 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,560 Speaker 1: at least for me, I think for you to, like 514 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,200 Speaker 1: I knew that I wanted to be with Jeff, like 515 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:45,920 Speaker 1: this was as done. 516 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:49,680 Speaker 2: Exactly and why you were leaving your boyfriend to go 517 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:51,119 Speaker 2: be with Jeff, right, which I thought. 518 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:53,159 Speaker 1: Was But also but like there's whatever your friends are 519 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:55,000 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, and I think it's hard, 520 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,040 Speaker 1: but especially in a scenario like this when you're on 521 00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:00,280 Speaker 1: your second time around or there's infidel, like you have 522 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,600 Speaker 1: to trust yourself no matter and ditch any friends. 523 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,239 Speaker 2: And this was you know, and I get a lot 524 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,280 Speaker 2: of flack people like you cheated, get you that's the way. No, 525 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:12,760 Speaker 2: it wasn't about that. It was about I knew I 526 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,440 Speaker 2: didn't want a life of being unfaithful or being something 527 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,600 Speaker 2: like that, or being unhappy. I want to be with 528 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 2: someone who was a partner who you know, was just 529 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,719 Speaker 2: as crazy for me as I was for them, who 530 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,600 Speaker 2: accepted me for you know, my flaws and all and 531 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:31,200 Speaker 2: and that we were a team. Yeah, and I you know, 532 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,120 Speaker 2: and as much as Jane and I were a team 533 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:34,800 Speaker 2: for the family, we weren't a team for each other. 534 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:35,200 Speaker 4: Yeah. 535 00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I wasn't you know, I wasn't on his 536 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,639 Speaker 2: page either. You know, I didn't agree with a lot 537 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,600 Speaker 2: of things he did, you know, as much as he 538 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 2: agree with me. Sof and Joe and I were a team. 539 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,920 Speaker 1: I love that, well, Joe. I mean, guys won't always 540 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,680 Speaker 1: have the friendships that that we do. But do you 541 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,480 Speaker 1: have friends supporting you? How is that I have? 542 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:57,160 Speaker 3: I have a lot of acquaintances, and I have maybe 543 00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:01,240 Speaker 3: on a handful of really true friends, and they stood 544 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:05,280 Speaker 3: by you, and they're true friends, Like, no matter what 545 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,359 Speaker 3: I would want to do, they would want it for you. 546 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:11,280 Speaker 3: Bill go and they backed me. And some of them 547 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:14,800 Speaker 3: told me I was, you know, like I was an idiot, 548 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:17,320 Speaker 3: But you know, whatever you want to do, that's what 549 00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 3: we're going to do. 550 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:22,400 Speaker 2: Okay. One friend told him he's an idiot in front ofhip. 551 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,160 Speaker 2: Even funnier, No, he goes like this, He's like Joe, 552 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,879 Speaker 2: that girl's high maintenance written all over her. But is 553 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,720 Speaker 2: that like and he goes, he goes, is that what 554 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,080 Speaker 2: you want, He goes, she is more than high maintenance. 555 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:37,200 Speaker 3: To I was, she was livid, I was living. 556 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,320 Speaker 2: I go that that's the first thing he says about me. 557 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:40,320 Speaker 1: We talked to him anymore? 558 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:41,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, I do, okay, of course. 559 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:45,240 Speaker 1: Actually, you know, I don't think it's a big deal, 560 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:46,920 Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Because I mean, you're they're 561 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,800 Speaker 1: real friends that they are looking out for you. But 562 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,080 Speaker 1: like the friend that you describe Margaret is not a friend. 563 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,919 Speaker 2: Is that like that's supposed to mean? 564 00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:57,399 Speaker 1: Right, Well, it means, it means it. It accurately describes you. 565 00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,080 Speaker 2: I don't even think it's an insult. It is, but 566 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 2: it's just like, so what is that accurate? Yes, that's 567 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,960 Speaker 2: supposed to be a turn off, right, high maintenance? Clearly not. 568 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 2: I want somebody who's maintained. 569 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,040 Speaker 3: Well, that's not exactly what it means. 570 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,440 Speaker 2: What does that mean? Expensive? Yeah? 571 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,200 Speaker 1: And I knew that that's what we were getting. 572 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,480 Speaker 2: Yes, right, Yeah, I am expensive, and I work a 573 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,720 Speaker 2: lot and never really very well, I just had a 574 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:17,600 Speaker 2: business and everything else. 575 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:19,680 Speaker 1: Yes, well guess what, I was expensive and I didn't 576 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:24,200 Speaker 1: work a lot or do everyone less. Thank you, Yes, exactly, 577 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,560 Speaker 1: thank you. And there's nothing wrong with well, okay, like 578 00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:30,080 Speaker 1: the economy, listen, this is a hard one. We're going 579 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:33,360 Speaker 1: to just talk about it. It's okay quickly because I've 580 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,040 Speaker 1: had a hard time answering these questions. And I wasn't divorced, 581 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,879 Speaker 1: I was just separated. But the kids, how did you 582 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:39,680 Speaker 1: tell the kids? 583 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:40,520 Speaker 4: Uh? 584 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:41,320 Speaker 2: That was the worst day. 585 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:44,600 Speaker 1: I know, I remember my own day when we told 586 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,040 Speaker 1: them that we were separating. But anything that you want 587 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:48,919 Speaker 1: to tell us about, you know, for people that are 588 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,239 Speaker 1: either going into part two or dealing with this kid's thing, 589 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,879 Speaker 1: any advice or any you. 590 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,480 Speaker 2: Yours wasn't as rough for something off the hook so easy. 591 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:00,800 Speaker 3: Really, it was very difficult. How old your kids were 592 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:05,960 Speaker 3: a little older My kids were probably she's eighteen and 593 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:07,080 Speaker 3: twenty hard age. 594 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,480 Speaker 2: No, and the okay, that's very hard, but they were. 595 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:14,720 Speaker 3: Both starting their their lives doing things. My son. 596 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,399 Speaker 2: You were closer with your kids, I feel they than 597 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,359 Speaker 2: your ex wife was. 598 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,320 Speaker 1: Did you guys tell the kids about each other or 599 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,320 Speaker 1: just that you were going to get separated or divorced? 600 00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:32,399 Speaker 3: My kids knew. My kids knew that, not that I 601 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,640 Speaker 3: was with Margaret that I but like I was friends 602 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:38,200 Speaker 3: with Margaret. They knew that. And then at some point, 603 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:40,320 Speaker 3: what are you making face work? 604 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,280 Speaker 2: So they moved right into a beach house. But that's 605 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:43,040 Speaker 2: a whole the story. 606 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:45,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, they're not. 607 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:48,640 Speaker 1: They figured it out. They figured it out, yes, yes 608 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:49,119 Speaker 1: and no. 609 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:51,760 Speaker 3: And then at some point my ex wife did burst 610 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,440 Speaker 3: into the room where the kids were with me, and 611 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:57,919 Speaker 3: she's screaming about life in general. And the kids are 612 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,520 Speaker 3: looking at her, looking at me, and you know, they're 613 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:04,480 Speaker 3: basically looking at me for it, like what's up with her? Right? 614 00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:04,920 Speaker 2: You know? 615 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:06,280 Speaker 3: Because she was so off the. 616 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,359 Speaker 2: Charts, they weren't They knew they weren't happy. 617 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:11,399 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, my kids knew we weren't happy. And to 618 00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,640 Speaker 3: be honest with you, they you know, my wife wasn't 619 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 3: happy with the three of us. 620 00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:19,760 Speaker 1: So right, okay, uh, I mean yeah, okay, your kid's 621 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:23,200 Speaker 1: situation wasn't is I think his situation they were living. 622 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,200 Speaker 2: I mean, you were living separate lives even before I 623 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:25,840 Speaker 2: got in the picture. 624 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:26,399 Speaker 3: Oh by far? 625 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:26,800 Speaker 2: Okay. 626 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 1: So it wasn't a shock to the kids. 627 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:33,360 Speaker 2: Mine was a disaster. Okay. It was heartbreaking. Its separated 628 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,399 Speaker 2: my family, you know what it was my I had 629 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,919 Speaker 2: a beautiful family life, even though they knew I PHO 630 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:41,560 Speaker 2: j in. So mine was the worst day of my life. 631 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:43,600 Speaker 2: I could start crying now just thinking about it. Yeah, 632 00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,640 Speaker 2: it was horrible. My older kids were older. My son 633 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,240 Speaker 2: was only fifteen. He was going away to a summer. 634 00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:49,840 Speaker 1: And they had no idea. 635 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:54,280 Speaker 2: They knew things weren't good, but they really were like 636 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,920 Speaker 2: they couldn't believe it. They were just so devastated. And 637 00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,480 Speaker 2: they were I mean, I'm saying like late twenties, early thirties. 638 00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:04,160 Speaker 2: They were my step kids, and they had to freak out. 639 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:08,440 Speaker 2: And my son was like fifteen, very very upset, very upset. 640 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,000 Speaker 2: So Joe and I went, I said, you know, we're separating, 641 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,720 Speaker 2: We're probably getting divorced. I went to live with Joe 642 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,040 Speaker 2: for that summer Manilocan in a beach house. 643 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:18,400 Speaker 1: Jan didn't handle it either. 644 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,760 Speaker 2: When he handled it terribly, He handled it absolutely terribly, 645 00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,920 Speaker 2: and really, you know, didn't want to take any responsibility 646 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,920 Speaker 2: on his part. It wasn't about Joe, you know, Joe 647 00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:31,280 Speaker 2: was Eventually we were going to get divorced anyway. I 648 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,600 Speaker 2: think Joe was like a catalyst, Yep, I think it. 649 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,000 Speaker 2: He moved along quicker and we were meant to be 650 00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:38,440 Speaker 2: clearly meant to be together. This is so many years later, 651 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:43,280 Speaker 2: and then you know, two of my kids didn't speak 652 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:46,440 Speaker 2: to me for a very long right, we're very devastated, 653 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:50,160 Speaker 2: but they had trauma from their own life because you know, 654 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,800 Speaker 2: they didn't their mother wasn't in their life and had 655 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:54,760 Speaker 2: left them. And I think it was like a form 656 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,080 Speaker 2: of abandonment, even though I wasn't leaving my kids, and 657 00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 2: you know, they were grown adults. Of course, my son, 658 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:02,480 Speaker 2: who was fifteen the time, believe it or not, understood 659 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:04,880 Speaker 2: more really because you live with us all the time. 660 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 1: And then, god, I just it's it was the hardest 661 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 1: day of my life, the day of separated, so brutal. 662 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:15,920 Speaker 2: It's brutal. I mean, I was sick. Remember I was 663 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:17,240 Speaker 2: crying on the beach all the time. 664 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:18,160 Speaker 1: Fourth of July. 665 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,160 Speaker 2: I'd always be with my family in the Hamptons, but 666 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:21,960 Speaker 2: I was a man, alogan. I was sick. I was 667 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:25,080 Speaker 2: throwing Oh god, you know it was. It was a 668 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:29,680 Speaker 2: very hard time. But I knew I could not sacrifice 669 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:32,240 Speaker 2: my life. If I wasn't good for me, I couldn't 670 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,000 Speaker 2: be good for the rest of my kids or my family. 671 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:35,520 Speaker 2: You know what I mean, Yeah, I know exactly what 672 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,840 Speaker 2: you mean. I mean when we told our kids I was. 673 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,280 Speaker 2: I couldn't just you couldn't just keep going it just that, 674 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:44,040 Speaker 2: they say. I've heard people say that, like you get 675 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,680 Speaker 2: divorced when you're at the point where the money doesn't matter. 676 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,440 Speaker 2: It's not that the kids, because obviously the kids matter, 677 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:52,960 Speaker 2: but living like that is the only thing. You can't 678 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,720 Speaker 2: live like that another day. I mean, so, yeah, it 679 00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:58,680 Speaker 2: matter for me. I walked out of that door and 680 00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:01,480 Speaker 2: I gave up my house. I gave up I wound 681 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:05,800 Speaker 2: up paying alimony. You're still paying alimony? How many more 682 00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:06,560 Speaker 2: checks you have left? 683 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:08,040 Speaker 3: Not many? 684 00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:10,920 Speaker 2: The exact number? No, let me tell you. No, he 685 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,160 Speaker 2: knows the exact number. He writes the number on the 686 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,200 Speaker 2: bottom of everyone just to give her. 687 00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,280 Speaker 3: Well, she doesn't get it. It goes to the state. 688 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:20,680 Speaker 2: But you know what, I live for that level of petty. Yeah, 689 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:24,640 Speaker 2: Joe's pettier. Yeah? Come on now, all right, Joe, Joe, 690 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,320 Speaker 2: who's pettier? You were me? Oh? 691 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,360 Speaker 3: I can hold a grudge till the end of freaking 692 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:29,640 Speaker 3: time and hate you like that. 693 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:33,360 Speaker 1: Okay, So all you listeners who are Housewives fans, that 694 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,160 Speaker 1: is not at all what you would think. He Joe, Ben, 695 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,280 Speaker 1: you come off as your sugar on the show he is. 696 00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,080 Speaker 1: He's very sweet, but he can be crossy. 697 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:46,480 Speaker 2: You know, he's like you know, he's been paying alimony 698 00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:47,000 Speaker 2: a long time. 699 00:30:47,080 --> 00:31:00,120 Speaker 1: At this point, listen, you are divorced, and it sounds like, well, well, 700 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,280 Speaker 1: if Margaret is friends with your ex, you have to 701 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:05,840 Speaker 1: be at least friendly with her now No, oh oh, 702 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:06,920 Speaker 1: well I was hopeful. 703 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:14,200 Speaker 3: No, not really. I don't. I rarely text anything with her, okay, 704 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:19,200 Speaker 3: And I don't get involved with stuff unless my kids 705 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:21,840 Speaker 3: call me and say, oh my god, this is happening. 706 00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,720 Speaker 3: And my daughter recently called me up and said I 707 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:26,000 Speaker 3: had to go do something about it. 708 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,400 Speaker 2: I had a beautiful relationship with my excess. I know 709 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,280 Speaker 2: he did know, and he passed away, but you know, 710 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:33,640 Speaker 2: and he took it much worse with the divorce because 711 00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,120 Speaker 2: Joe's wife actually wanted the divorce. 712 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:36,840 Speaker 3: She wanted a divorce. Wow. 713 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:41,280 Speaker 1: Would you guys have any advice to give in terms 714 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,160 Speaker 1: of there's really nothing. I don't know if there is 715 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,200 Speaker 1: any advice that you can give for people telling their kids. 716 00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:46,560 Speaker 1: I don't know if I would have any. 717 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:50,360 Speaker 2: I think you have to be don't give any dirty details. 718 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:54,160 Speaker 2: I don't think anybody should discuss infidelities. I don't think 719 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,840 Speaker 2: anybody needs to know that. You don't have to be 720 00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:02,040 Speaker 2: brutally honest, but I think just enough that we love 721 00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,200 Speaker 2: you know, we love each other. It's just not working out. 722 00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:05,240 Speaker 2: Has nothing to do with you. 723 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,120 Speaker 1: You know, you say that to the CADG Yes, I wish, 724 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,920 Speaker 1: I wish I had a parent who had I went 725 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:13,840 Speaker 1: through as a kid a lot of doors. My parents 726 00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:17,400 Speaker 1: were both divorced multiple times. But I remember one of 727 00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:21,640 Speaker 1: them and a stepfather saying to me and to my sister, 728 00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:23,440 Speaker 1: she's cheating. 729 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:25,040 Speaker 2: No, it is right. 730 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:27,440 Speaker 1: I would just say, like, you know, when Jeff and 731 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:30,200 Speaker 1: I separated, no blaming and there was no blaming. There 732 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,720 Speaker 1: was only propping each other up. I mean that's what 733 00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:33,600 Speaker 1: I would suggest. 734 00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:35,440 Speaker 2: That like what it is, and I think that's don't 735 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:37,680 Speaker 2: you think that's the most important thing that that doesn't happen. 736 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,640 Speaker 3: No, it does not. I heard through the grapevine that 737 00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,800 Speaker 3: all these accusations on my part, which were all false 738 00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:48,240 Speaker 3: sight I was. I heard through a grapevine that I 739 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,640 Speaker 3: had cheated from the day we were married. 740 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,080 Speaker 1: You never you're like a goodye two shoe who said that? 741 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:54,600 Speaker 1: Did your kids think that? 742 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:56,480 Speaker 3: No, my kids know me. 743 00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,760 Speaker 1: Okay, but that's what was spreading that around. 744 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:01,480 Speaker 3: Sure, that's the story I got back. 745 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:05,200 Speaker 2: Wow, See that's what That's what upset me because there's 746 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,280 Speaker 2: one thing. Listen, I could be a lot of things, 747 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,440 Speaker 2: but I was very, very devoted to my kids and 748 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:11,680 Speaker 2: my my family. That in my entire life, I was 749 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:15,800 Speaker 2: devoted to my in laws, everything else. I was also 750 00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,080 Speaker 2: a very doting wife. Granted I did cheat on my hut. 751 00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:18,640 Speaker 4: I did. 752 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:20,080 Speaker 2: It's a fact I did. 753 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:24,160 Speaker 1: But so did I by the way, I mean not first. 754 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,720 Speaker 2: You know, that doesn't and that doesn't mean that doesn't 755 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:28,920 Speaker 2: you know, there's worse things you could do. It doesn't erase, 756 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,840 Speaker 2: it doesn't erase it. All devotion, there's a tation everything else. 757 00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:38,840 Speaker 2: So I felt, you know, very upset that, you know, 758 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:42,280 Speaker 2: my ex husband, Jan you know, did not handle it 759 00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:46,840 Speaker 2: really correctly. Yeah, because he kind of, you know, made 760 00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:50,760 Speaker 2: himself out like he was a very much victim, a victim, 761 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,240 Speaker 2: and I was like, you got you gotta dial it back, 762 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:55,960 Speaker 2: you know, I go, come on. But to the world 763 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:57,840 Speaker 2: and everyone else, he's like, it looks like you went 764 00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:02,920 Speaker 2: on to this beautiful life. You know, your business was 765 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,920 Speaker 2: doing great, you moved to this great house, then you 766 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,560 Speaker 2: got on TV, you know, and to the world looked 767 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,759 Speaker 2: like Margaret had everything and poor and poor Jan and nothing. 768 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,160 Speaker 2: Well that's not true, right, you know. And I was 769 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:19,200 Speaker 2: saying Jan, you know, Jan got my whole house. Jane 770 00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:22,000 Speaker 2: got out, you know, but everybody was like poor you know, 771 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:24,560 Speaker 2: in the in the public eye or whatever it was, 772 00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:27,600 Speaker 2: or in everybody else's eye, was like poor Jam. But 773 00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:28,919 Speaker 2: Jan didn't have to work. 774 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:32,239 Speaker 1: I relate to everybody did that, even though Jeff had 775 00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:35,440 Speaker 1: an affair when I I ended up leaving, and everyone 776 00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:38,840 Speaker 1: was like poor Jeff, which is so interesting, even including 777 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:39,360 Speaker 1: my mother. 778 00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:43,480 Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, so yeah, which is upsetting, you know, just 779 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:46,520 Speaker 2: like you know, my other friends infl But I think 780 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:48,640 Speaker 2: the kids, you know, were like they saw their father 781 00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:52,520 Speaker 2: sad and then they did you know, and no, but 782 00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:54,560 Speaker 2: I felt bad, listen. I even felt bad for Jan. 783 00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,000 Speaker 2: I think I had some weird guilt for years myself. 784 00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:58,680 Speaker 2: I was just like, because he would call me, I mean, 785 00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:01,640 Speaker 2: he didn't know how to use the printer, legit, He'd 786 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:03,040 Speaker 2: come to our house and Lexi and I would do 787 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,800 Speaker 2: the print right. Yeah, but then he met a beautiful 788 00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:09,880 Speaker 2: woman who was It's very bizarre. It was who was it? 789 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:10,160 Speaker 1: Joe? 790 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,839 Speaker 3: My wife's best friend. 791 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:16,600 Speaker 2: What Yeah? And they started dating. 792 00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:18,359 Speaker 3: Wait what yeah? 793 00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:20,640 Speaker 2: I thought I knew you. What are you talking about? 794 00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:22,040 Speaker 2: Just making this up? 795 00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:22,279 Speaker 1: No? 796 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,480 Speaker 2: No, no, Jan's girlfriend when he passed away had been 797 00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:28,640 Speaker 2: dating Joe's ex wife's best friend for three years. 798 00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,239 Speaker 1: Wow. And I know they were crazy about each other. 799 00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:32,440 Speaker 2: You crazy? 800 00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:34,920 Speaker 3: And they met each other on a dating site. And 801 00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 3: the funny thing is the first time I met her, 802 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:39,879 Speaker 3: I was like, what are you doing here? 803 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:40,359 Speaker 4: Oh? 804 00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:44,279 Speaker 2: And then you saw her through Jan. 805 00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:45,960 Speaker 3: Yeah. 806 00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:48,480 Speaker 2: That is the weirdest thing, isn't that the weirdest thing? Well, 807 00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:52,799 Speaker 2: she knew because she knew of it because they went 808 00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:54,400 Speaker 2: on a date. And then of course Jam was like, 809 00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:58,040 Speaker 2: my ex wife she's on Housewives, you know, saying like that, 810 00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:00,640 Speaker 2: and he and she was like, and he goes, you know, 811 00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:02,399 Speaker 2: she left me for the you know, he gave this story. 812 00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:04,200 Speaker 2: You know, she was day in the contract and she goes, 813 00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,280 Speaker 2: is your ex wife married to Joe b Enigno? 814 00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,960 Speaker 1: And then she said it, shit, how did your ex 815 00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,480 Speaker 1: take that? She at the end of their friendship. 816 00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:12,800 Speaker 3: I don't think they liked it. I don't know. 817 00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:15,719 Speaker 2: She know she didn't like it. No, she told me 818 00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:17,680 Speaker 2: she didn't like it. It kind of they weren't as close, 819 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,160 Speaker 2: they weren't really friends after that. 820 00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:22,440 Speaker 1: Really, I mean, it's so funny, like it's just so 821 00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:27,200 Speaker 1: much there's so much heartache. But to get to where 822 00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:29,640 Speaker 1: you are now, I mean, I think about that so often, 823 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:33,080 Speaker 1: Like with part two, I think about sometimes you guys, 824 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,520 Speaker 1: tell me what you think. But my grandparents were so 825 00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:38,239 Speaker 1: miserable at the end of their lives. Like I guess 826 00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:40,600 Speaker 1: that back in the day, you know, the woman was 827 00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:45,040 Speaker 1: responsible for the kids, the house you had to come in, 828 00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:46,720 Speaker 1: and my Nanna was to say to me, there always 829 00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:49,600 Speaker 1: had to be a meat and a vegetable, starch and whatever, 830 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:52,759 Speaker 1: and but there was so much resentment built up that 831 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,760 Speaker 1: at the end of their lives they just couldn't stand 832 00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:59,120 Speaker 1: each other. And I think to myself, like, while divorced, 833 00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:00,880 Speaker 1: I don't recommend it. I'm sure neither one of you. 834 00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:05,640 Speaker 1: It's not. It's not a party. But now you're at 835 00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:07,359 Speaker 1: the point in your lives you're older, and you are 836 00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:09,840 Speaker 1: enjoying your life with this person that you love, and 837 00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:12,400 Speaker 1: all the heartache, I'm happy to say here you are. 838 00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:14,040 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure there are people that regret it, but. 839 00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:18,080 Speaker 3: I think that some people make it through and they 840 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:20,239 Speaker 3: love each other till the end of the time. On 841 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:22,720 Speaker 3: first marriages, you know, like they meet, you hear people 842 00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,279 Speaker 3: they meet in high school and get married. I have 843 00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,920 Speaker 3: a bunch of kids, and life is good and for 844 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,000 Speaker 3: a lot of other people, and I think the majority 845 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,959 Speaker 3: of Americans is much better the second time around. 846 00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:37,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I mean, honestly, I'm on my second whatever 847 00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:42,000 Speaker 1: sort of but like, yeah, you know, it's but whatever 848 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,879 Speaker 1: it is like now, especially as I as I get older, 849 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:49,920 Speaker 1: I can't imagine being in an unhappy marriage at our ages. 850 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:54,120 Speaker 2: You know, you just a I don't suffer. Well, that's right, 851 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,600 Speaker 2: like the white lotus. 852 00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:57,640 Speaker 1: Yes, women, Yes, I. 853 00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:00,160 Speaker 2: Can't be in comfort. She said that. I dies like 854 00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:01,440 Speaker 2: I could not be right. 855 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,160 Speaker 1: I'm too old to be uncomfortable. I'm too old to 856 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,680 Speaker 1: be I would have to kill myself if I wasn't rich. 857 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,920 Speaker 2: That was a classic line. Yeah, but I also do 858 00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,560 Speaker 2: feel it, and I think sometimes I'm feeling emotional lately 859 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,960 Speaker 2: because I'm just like looking back on my life and 860 00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:19,120 Speaker 2: everything we did to get here, and you know, everything 861 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:22,080 Speaker 2: I've been through, you know, and I had, you know, 862 00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:25,000 Speaker 2: I reminisced I had a beautiful life the first time, 863 00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:27,279 Speaker 2: but I, you know, and that was the time I 864 00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,399 Speaker 2: raised my kids and everything else. But the part two 865 00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:33,239 Speaker 2: of my life, you know, is about you know, my 866 00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:34,080 Speaker 2: kids are up and out. 867 00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:34,560 Speaker 1: It's about you. 868 00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,200 Speaker 2: It's about me and my husband and you know, and 869 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,200 Speaker 2: my dog, especially dog. 870 00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:42,520 Speaker 1: God. Well let's put them in the correct order. It's 871 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,400 Speaker 1: about you, your dog, Lexi and joke. Yeah, yeah, yes, no, 872 00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:46,000 Speaker 1: And it's. 873 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,080 Speaker 3: Just like and and mother and before me. 874 00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:52,600 Speaker 2: Oh sorry about that. No, but I'm just saying we 875 00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:54,720 Speaker 2: we do have a beautiful life together. 876 00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,000 Speaker 3: And a girl throw her into girl. 877 00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:58,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, I have to make sure I give us very checked. 878 00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:00,360 Speaker 1: I gave her number, by the way, but okay, go on. 879 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:02,279 Speaker 1: So yeah, no, I totally get so. 880 00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:04,000 Speaker 2: I think a lot of times I do get emotional. 881 00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:05,960 Speaker 2: Sometimes I'm sitting on the sofa watch that I start 882 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,279 Speaker 2: crying because I'm just like, oh my god. I do 883 00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:10,319 Speaker 2: feel like it is the second chapter. But I feel 884 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:11,600 Speaker 2: like we're in like the last leg. 885 00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:14,680 Speaker 1: Yeah we are. I mean I'm putting myself in there. 886 00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:17,040 Speaker 1: We are, right, and I have a lot of gratitude 887 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:18,560 Speaker 1: now I do too, are. 888 00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:20,360 Speaker 2: Just like look at you, you just you know, you 889 00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:21,240 Speaker 2: just got your beaches. 890 00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,480 Speaker 1: It's just like it's just gratitude just to have being 891 00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:25,600 Speaker 1: a happy marriage, because so many people are not. 892 00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,440 Speaker 2: No, exactly like I called you. How many times a 893 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:29,399 Speaker 2: day did we talk on the phone? 894 00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,840 Speaker 3: Quite a few, and best friends. 895 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:35,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I called Joe constantly. You know, we shower together, 896 00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:36,719 Speaker 2: and that's not code for sex. 897 00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:39,840 Speaker 3: No sort of it, unfortunately, No, no, no, no, no, no, 898 00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:40,560 Speaker 3: don't we. 899 00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:42,600 Speaker 2: Don't have sex. And the show we're just like even 900 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,200 Speaker 2: though we built two shower heads, he insists on, just 901 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:46,759 Speaker 2: like going under my shower head. 902 00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:48,279 Speaker 3: It's our shower head. 903 00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:51,200 Speaker 1: Yes, I'm like, okay, So having said that, because that's 904 00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:53,080 Speaker 1: like still honeymoon base, I was gonna ask you, guys, like, 905 00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,080 Speaker 1: now you move into the beach house and you're actually together, 906 00:39:56,239 --> 00:40:00,200 Speaker 1: was there ever any like we whoa, whoa? What have 907 00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:00,640 Speaker 1: we done? 908 00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:02,160 Speaker 2: Was there ever any ever? 909 00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:04,840 Speaker 1: None of that, not once, not a day. I just 910 00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:07,279 Speaker 1: knew that that's what had it was. This was kind 911 00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:08,600 Speaker 1: of be meant to be, meant to be. 912 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:10,200 Speaker 2: I was obsessed with him from the beginning. 913 00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:11,600 Speaker 1: I love that. I love that. 914 00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:14,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, you sending you're obsessed with me from the beginning. 915 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:15,000 Speaker 3: I am obsessed with you. 916 00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:16,279 Speaker 4: I'm not. 917 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:18,400 Speaker 2: I'm obsessed he is. 918 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:22,399 Speaker 1: That's actually a fact so tell me now a little 919 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:24,480 Speaker 1: bit about your feelings on and this is sort of 920 00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:26,879 Speaker 1: a making a sharp write or sharp lit. But let's 921 00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,960 Speaker 1: talk prenups for a moment, because I just had Dlorus 922 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,960 Speaker 1: and Paul on and we spoke a little bit about them. 923 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,759 Speaker 1: I spoke a little bit about my idea. I feel 924 00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:38,759 Speaker 1: like now, I think prenups are fabulous invention. But everyone 925 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,520 Speaker 1: feels differently about them. How do you guys feel about them? 926 00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:43,600 Speaker 3: I don't see a need for it. 927 00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:45,839 Speaker 2: No, I see a need for prenups with certain people. 928 00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:48,120 Speaker 2: I think people need a prenup. 929 00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:49,040 Speaker 3: I don't need a prenup. 930 00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,759 Speaker 2: Joe and I didn't do a prenup, but I do 931 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,040 Speaker 2: agree with pren ups. 932 00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:53,640 Speaker 1: We did. 933 00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:58,160 Speaker 2: Listen, we're very specific with our estate planning though. Yeah, 934 00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:03,640 Speaker 2: I think the estate planning is super super important, right. 935 00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:06,719 Speaker 1: Which is when you say state planning, you're saying like 936 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,680 Speaker 1: that right when you croak and but but and that 937 00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,239 Speaker 1: you have you know that no matter what, this is 938 00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:12,879 Speaker 1: what you want. 939 00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:15,480 Speaker 2: We're very big. The way we did it is we're 940 00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:18,600 Speaker 2: very big with separating the life insurance is who's getting what. 941 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:21,120 Speaker 2: We did that kind of planning. 942 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,960 Speaker 1: For our second time because kids, because so many. 943 00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:28,480 Speaker 2: We own separate things, Joe own's apartments. This we set 944 00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:31,399 Speaker 2: everybody up the right way. We planned it that way. 945 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:36,040 Speaker 1: I have so many friends who also they they've lost 946 00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:39,080 Speaker 1: a parent and then there's a step parent involved, and 947 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:40,880 Speaker 1: that just becomes a total night. 948 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:43,480 Speaker 2: Now we we have everything in writing. Who's getting what, 949 00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:48,360 Speaker 2: what's happening? So all the children, No, one's fighting over everything. 950 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:50,960 Speaker 3: The dog gets everything. 951 00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:54,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly right, everything goes to everything. No, so we 952 00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:59,879 Speaker 2: you know, we arranged things that way. Yeah, yeah, tell, 953 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:03,040 Speaker 2: But I do believe in a prenup. I mean, obviously 954 00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:07,160 Speaker 2: certain people should have gotten you know, but we got together. 955 00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:09,960 Speaker 2: I mean I was super you know, though I've had 956 00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:11,839 Speaker 2: taken some hits. I mean I had a very big 957 00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:14,840 Speaker 2: thing when we got to we're both equally as successful 958 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:16,719 Speaker 2: when we got together. You own a lot of real estate. 959 00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:17,759 Speaker 2: I had a big business, you know. 960 00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:21,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, but we were like, well, if I was, if 961 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:22,160 Speaker 1: I had to do it again, if I was doing 962 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:23,319 Speaker 1: it again, there would be pre nups. 963 00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:23,920 Speaker 2: If there was. 964 00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:25,800 Speaker 1: I'm not say because I'm such a millionaire even but 965 00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:28,960 Speaker 1: I just think things get so messy, and they do. 966 00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:32,560 Speaker 2: They do, And I agree with I definitely agree with 967 00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:35,120 Speaker 2: the prenup, but we did more post nuppy kind of 968 00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:36,000 Speaker 2: a most. 969 00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:38,360 Speaker 3: Right, we didn't do any pre and and then we 970 00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:41,040 Speaker 3: just figured on, well, the kids got to be taken 971 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:41,279 Speaker 3: care of. 972 00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:42,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, and we made sure of that and we have 973 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:44,240 Speaker 2: everything in writing for the kids. 974 00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:44,560 Speaker 1: Yeah. 975 00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:45,200 Speaker 4: I love that. 976 00:42:55,640 --> 00:43:00,480 Speaker 1: So just to touch on this very briefly, but when 977 00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:02,080 Speaker 1: jam passed away, which is what two. 978 00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:07,160 Speaker 2: Two years ago to uh? Was it three years ago? 979 00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:09,840 Speaker 2: It'll be three years in August, yeah, three years. 980 00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:11,759 Speaker 1: Right, And you talked about it a little bit on 981 00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:15,040 Speaker 1: the show. But how Joe supported you through that? Yes, 982 00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:17,400 Speaker 1: if you want to just give us just an idea 983 00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:18,640 Speaker 1: of well. 984 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:25,160 Speaker 3: I mean, Marge was going through extreme grief. It was her. 985 00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:26,520 Speaker 1: Did that make you feel anyway? 986 00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:33,560 Speaker 3: I felt empathetic towards her grief and how she felt 987 00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:38,560 Speaker 3: and how her son and I didn't know the step kids, 988 00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:44,719 Speaker 3: so the other ones felt well one Brett and so 989 00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:48,279 Speaker 3: you just support how she wants to deal with it. 990 00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:50,400 Speaker 3: If she had decided to deal with it by not 991 00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:53,480 Speaker 3: dealing with it, I would have supported that too. But 992 00:43:53,880 --> 00:44:01,480 Speaker 3: we ended up having shivers, not of funerals. No, what 993 00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:03,000 Speaker 3: do you say that? We had the shiva? 994 00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:04,520 Speaker 2: The non jew at You're Italian. 995 00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:09,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, at my house, so and it was fine, just 996 00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:10,279 Speaker 3: like have everybody over. 997 00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:12,960 Speaker 2: And No, you were so supportive. 998 00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:15,680 Speaker 1: You know, I had known jan for years and you 999 00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:16,520 Speaker 1: were friendly with him. 1000 00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:19,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, I was friendly. We're best buddies. Aren't going out 1001 00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:22,480 Speaker 3: camping together, but right, you know, we we could. We 1002 00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:25,120 Speaker 3: went out to dinner a few times. He was fine 1003 00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:27,960 Speaker 3: and his girlfriend I knew forever, so right, it. 1004 00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,520 Speaker 2: Was just you know, it was shocking because he was 1005 00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:31,319 Speaker 2: the picture of health. 1006 00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:33,680 Speaker 1: So I think it was I ran five miles a day, 1007 00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:34,400 Speaker 1: I remember that. 1008 00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:36,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, and he was so healthy. And you know what, 1009 00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:38,719 Speaker 2: Joe was so supportive that, and that just shows what 1010 00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:42,200 Speaker 2: a great, confident, secure man he is an artist, because 1011 00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:43,680 Speaker 2: I mean you were. 1012 00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:45,640 Speaker 1: You were more worried about that. If you guys did 1013 00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,280 Speaker 1: watch the show, Margaret talked a lot about feeling guilty 1014 00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:52,080 Speaker 1: that she was so sad. No, I was devastated. 1015 00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:53,840 Speaker 2: Now why I was so devastated. I knew Jansen some 1016 00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:55,839 Speaker 2: I'm twenty four years old, right, that's the first thing 1017 00:44:56,360 --> 00:45:00,359 Speaker 2: to watch the children and father children, I mean them, 1018 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:02,120 Speaker 2: he was like by the time we're divorced, it was 1019 00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:05,440 Speaker 2: like having a crazy uncle, you know. Yeah, he was 1020 00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:07,840 Speaker 2: the witness to my life before I knew Joe, you 1021 00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:09,799 Speaker 2: know what I mean. And it's like I knew him 1022 00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:13,520 Speaker 2: longer than anybody. So poor Joe, you know, had to 1023 00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:15,160 Speaker 2: deal with the hysteria. I mean, we have a picture 1024 00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:17,160 Speaker 2: of Jan hanging in my living room when Jan from 1025 00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:19,839 Speaker 2: the nineteen seventies. It's I could start crying about that now. 1026 00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:26,279 Speaker 2: It's so you know, it's a weird thing to have 1027 00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:31,160 Speaker 2: that because Joe didn't. And I'm not insulting your relationship Jan. 1028 00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:33,200 Speaker 2: I had a different kind of relationship than him and 1029 00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:35,920 Speaker 2: his ex wife. Jan and I had a history of 1030 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:40,080 Speaker 2: because he was so much older than me, you know 1031 00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:42,560 Speaker 2: what we had gone through. And I think Joe and 1032 00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:46,719 Speaker 2: his ex wife didn't have that kind of relationship, and 1033 00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:50,359 Speaker 2: his kids don't have that relationship with his ex wife. 1034 00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:53,000 Speaker 2: You're you know where my kids are obsessed with me, 1035 00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:56,040 Speaker 2: but they were equally as obsessed with Jan, don't you agree? 1036 00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:56,759 Speaker 3: Yeah? 1037 00:45:57,239 --> 00:45:59,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, no, I've read that. I was at that 1038 00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:03,719 Speaker 1: Shiva and not a happy time and your kids are 1039 00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:04,839 Speaker 1: so devastated. 1040 00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:06,920 Speaker 2: No so, and to this day, I mean, you know, 1041 00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:10,120 Speaker 2: we are so devastated. That was the one thing we 1042 00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:12,800 Speaker 2: were both, That was the only thing Jane and I 1043 00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:15,680 Speaker 2: agreed on was the kids. We're both obsessed neurotic wrecks. 1044 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,400 Speaker 2: You know, Joe's not a neurotic wreck, right, Jane and 1045 00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:19,080 Speaker 2: I were neurotic. 1046 00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:20,800 Speaker 1: I mean, maybe that's something to be said for that, 1047 00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:23,000 Speaker 1: because I'm a neurotic wrack and Jeff Essler's not. 1048 00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:25,719 Speaker 3: Yeah, Jeff, Jeff is actually just like I am. 1049 00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:26,080 Speaker 1: He is. 1050 00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:28,960 Speaker 2: I know, that's a good commented someone who. 1051 00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:32,000 Speaker 3: Oft, yes, they do. 1052 00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,520 Speaker 2: They can't be too neurotic wres. 1053 00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:36,560 Speaker 3: No, no, because then that would be a disaster. 1054 00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:38,000 Speaker 2: Yes, And I think that's probably. 1055 00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:39,880 Speaker 1: But it's just so interesting to note because I know 1056 00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:42,279 Speaker 1: that you were so worried about Joe during that time, 1057 00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:45,000 Speaker 1: and Joe was fine and worried about you. 1058 00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:47,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, he was so good, and I mean, like 1059 00:46:47,719 --> 00:46:48,799 Speaker 2: you know, and that was the one thing. I think 1060 00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:50,640 Speaker 2: he probably felt beat because he couldn't make it better. 1061 00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:52,600 Speaker 2: No one could make that better, you know. But I 1062 00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:55,960 Speaker 2: feel like, you know, I'm very good also, and I 1063 00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:57,719 Speaker 2: and you're good this way, like you know, times grief, 1064 00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:00,279 Speaker 2: we make a lot of jokes, yeah, you know, which 1065 00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:02,279 Speaker 2: which does help you get through. Humor helps you get 1066 00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:05,520 Speaker 2: through things. I mean, yes, I mean when I went 1067 00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:08,600 Speaker 2: to the cemetery and I should not make a joke 1068 00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:10,680 Speaker 2: about this, and my my kids will kill me. But 1069 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:13,279 Speaker 2: the only thing that gets me through I went with 1070 00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:17,840 Speaker 2: my son, and you know the headstone. I was not 1071 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:19,080 Speaker 2: happy with the headstones. 1072 00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:22,520 Speaker 1: So you so you with the head rate right, you're 1073 00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:23,680 Speaker 1: not kidding, huh. 1074 00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:27,200 Speaker 2: Well, I mean it said besides, it just was the 1075 00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:29,360 Speaker 2: first day before they even got the headstone. They spelt 1076 00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,680 Speaker 2: his name wrong, wrong, and they got the date wrong 1077 00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:34,879 Speaker 2: that he died. I was having a freak out. Of course, 1078 00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:37,879 Speaker 2: of course you are. I was like, I would likely 1079 00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,080 Speaker 2: say that this is like a Larry David episode. But 1080 00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:42,520 Speaker 2: then we go and it's you know, it's not the 1081 00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:44,840 Speaker 2: proper unveiling, and you know, my son and I go, 1082 00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:47,680 Speaker 2: it's the day died. I'm crying, it's sweating, it's August. 1083 00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:50,960 Speaker 2: It's this. It's that I'm going, we're putting the rocks where, 1084 00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:53,759 Speaker 2: you know, with which the Jewish religioning, you know, and 1085 00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:55,319 Speaker 2: poor Joe's way for we're going to go to lunch 1086 00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:58,440 Speaker 2: afterwards whatever, And we go and we get there. My 1087 00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:00,640 Speaker 2: son doesn't want me to know what the headstone says. 1088 00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:01,960 Speaker 2: And I have nothing to do with it because I'm 1089 00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:03,520 Speaker 2: the ex wife, so I should have nothing to say. 1090 00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:06,120 Speaker 1: You don't know from that. Let's get real. Margaret doesn't. No, no, 1091 00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:08,680 Speaker 1: there's no I mean, come on, nothing nothing gets done 1092 00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:09,240 Speaker 1: without Margaret. 1093 00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:11,680 Speaker 2: But I but they're not gonna tell me what the 1094 00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:14,120 Speaker 2: headstune says, and everyone likes stepped out it. It says 1095 00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:24,040 Speaker 2: beloved you know, son, father, brother, life partner. Would you 1096 00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:26,920 Speaker 2: wanted to say husband? It could have said love of 1097 00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,200 Speaker 2: my life. It could have said if she wanted that, 1098 00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:32,000 Speaker 2: you know, the girlfriend. It could have said anything like 1099 00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:35,800 Speaker 2: life partner, who approved this nonsense? 1100 00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:38,319 Speaker 1: I was like, you don't think that was a little 1101 00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:40,600 Speaker 1: bit of transference there, like getting so upset about that 1102 00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:43,279 Speaker 1: when there was actually you're at the funeral of this. 1103 00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:45,680 Speaker 2: No, it wasn't the funeral. It was it was last year. 1104 00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:46,840 Speaker 1: Oh it was the unveiling. 1105 00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:49,200 Speaker 2: It was like it was right before the unvailed. Oh okay, 1106 00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:53,360 Speaker 2: God's like life partner. Yeah, who puts that on a tombstone? 1107 00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:54,120 Speaker 1: And you made a scene. 1108 00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:56,439 Speaker 2: It was only myself and my son, Okay, it wasn't 1109 00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:59,520 Speaker 2: really the official une, Okay. I I mean then I 1110 00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:01,839 Speaker 2: started then I was like all right, he all right, 1111 00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:02,440 Speaker 2: he's listening. 1112 00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:04,759 Speaker 1: Here's the thing that you're still worried about him in death. No, no, no, 1113 00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:05,719 Speaker 1: you wanted to be right. 1114 00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:07,759 Speaker 2: I wanted it to be right. I said, like, I go, 1115 00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:11,520 Speaker 2: this is unacceptable. I go, this is And everyone did 1116 00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:13,600 Speaker 2: to change any any No, it did not change it. 1117 00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:15,360 Speaker 2: I well well know he is if we go to 1118 00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:16,879 Speaker 2: the cemetery, will be able to find it. No, I've 1119 00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,680 Speaker 2: complained to my other children. I was like, who said 1120 00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:21,440 Speaker 2: this is okay? It should be changed to love my life. 1121 00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:23,640 Speaker 2: I go, it doesn't have to say husband, because clearly, 1122 00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:27,800 Speaker 2: even though he was the husband of two women, you know, 1123 00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:30,239 Speaker 2: it was just you know, for the giryfriend could say 1124 00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:32,840 Speaker 2: love my life, right, Chris life partner. 1125 00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:35,520 Speaker 1: This is There's so many times when I'm like, that's 1126 00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:37,400 Speaker 1: so Margaret. This is just so Margaret. It is so 1127 00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:39,160 Speaker 1: marked like it's not even your problem. It was the 1128 00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:40,040 Speaker 1: girlfriend's problem. 1129 00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:41,919 Speaker 2: And so I just just said, what are you gonna 1130 00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:42,800 Speaker 2: do when I die? Stuffed me? 1131 00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:44,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm going to put it next to my bear. 1132 00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:48,800 Speaker 2: Put it next to the bear. That's romantic. Change my appe. 1133 00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:50,520 Speaker 2: I love that were my good hair. 1134 00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:54,520 Speaker 1: Obviously obviously we'll have Julius do it. So okay, you guys. 1135 00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:59,239 Speaker 1: A couple more things first, because again, whoever is out 1136 00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:01,960 Speaker 1: there listening to a ban of the show knows that 1137 00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:09,080 Speaker 1: Joe was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Yes, last season, thankfully, thankfully, thankfully, 1138 00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:13,080 Speaker 1: it was such early stages that nothing had to be done. 1139 00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:15,760 Speaker 1: But where are we at now, view. 1140 00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:22,120 Speaker 3: The doctors monitor me. They want to take tests constantly, 1141 00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:25,480 Speaker 3: you know, but nothing's nothing's changed. 1142 00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:26,440 Speaker 1: Okay, good, thank god. 1143 00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:30,600 Speaker 2: It has not advanced. It's stage one, you know, they said, 1144 00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:33,400 Speaker 2: because Joe got it, you know, later in life, and 1145 00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:37,080 Speaker 2: they did a genomic test that his is very slow 1146 00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:40,120 Speaker 2: growing and it hasn't changed. So they're just going to 1147 00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:40,560 Speaker 2: keep in mind. 1148 00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:43,000 Speaker 3: My numbers dropped for some crazy. 1149 00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:47,520 Speaker 1: The ts A numbers p s as AA, his ts A. 1150 00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:48,719 Speaker 2: He could still get right through the. 1151 00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:50,280 Speaker 3: Air on that plane. 1152 00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:52,440 Speaker 2: He could get right on the plane with his p 1153 00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:54,960 Speaker 2: s A and his ts Okay, okay. 1154 00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:57,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, the p s A numbers dropped for some crazy. 1155 00:50:58,440 --> 00:50:59,560 Speaker 1: Which was fabulous news. 1156 00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:02,360 Speaker 2: But he is, you know, it was still there and 1157 00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:05,400 Speaker 2: but we're monitoring. I mean, it goes every six months. 1158 00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:08,920 Speaker 1: Okay, all right, So tell me what we've left out 1159 00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:11,359 Speaker 1: you guys, is there anything you want to tell our 1160 00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:15,000 Speaker 1: listeners in terms of things that you suggest advice, follow 1161 00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:15,399 Speaker 1: your heart. 1162 00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:16,840 Speaker 3: Marge's running for president. 1163 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,360 Speaker 2: Marge should be. With everything's going on, I could do 1164 00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:22,040 Speaker 2: it one hundred times better. 1165 00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:22,359 Speaker 4: Job. 1166 00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:25,879 Speaker 2: There would be no tariffs, see that, see that people 1167 00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:27,600 Speaker 2: out of business. That's a whole other story. 1168 00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:30,279 Speaker 1: Okay, we're going to go now into what really counts you, 1169 00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:32,600 Speaker 1: guys the most out of all of this, housewise, what 1170 00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:34,279 Speaker 1: do you think of the show? Yes, what do you 1171 00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:35,560 Speaker 1: think about what's happening with the show? 1172 00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:36,319 Speaker 2: What do I think? 1173 00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:36,480 Speaker 1: Is? 1174 00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:37,920 Speaker 3: I think it is ludicrous? 1175 00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:40,040 Speaker 2: No, Joe, you know what I think. 1176 00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:43,719 Speaker 1: I think Wait, I think Sorry, Marge, tell me why 1177 00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:46,759 Speaker 1: you think it's ludicrous, because. 1178 00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:49,560 Speaker 3: Not for anything. I mean, the show was on in 1179 00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:54,239 Speaker 3: like thirty some odd countries. We had the highest ratings everywhere. 1180 00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:58,440 Speaker 3: For the most part, the cast got along and meshed 1181 00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:01,120 Speaker 3: with each other most part well, I said most part well. 1182 00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:05,720 Speaker 3: And the people who didn't Mesh really did not film 1183 00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:10,080 Speaker 3: with us that much. So the show is i'd say, 1184 00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:17,120 Speaker 3: very successful. And I think that the management wherever, whether 1185 00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:19,120 Speaker 3: it was a production company or a brother of themselves, 1186 00:52:21,239 --> 00:52:24,920 Speaker 3: did not give us enough. We didn't get enough episodes. 1187 00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:27,480 Speaker 3: They had I think they had more than enough things 1188 00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:30,759 Speaker 3: go on that they could film and we were successful, 1189 00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:33,400 Speaker 3: and I think it's ludicrous for them. 1190 00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:35,000 Speaker 2: I think it got a little dark. I think it 1191 00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:38,160 Speaker 2: got a little dark. I understand, I'm jesting. We still 1192 00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:40,200 Speaker 2: had great ratings the dead of the summer, you know 1193 00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:44,680 Speaker 2: that the dead of the summer on a Sunday where 1194 00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:46,680 Speaker 2: I don't feel like watching TV myself. I think our 1195 00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:49,560 Speaker 2: ratings were great, but I do think it is time 1196 00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:51,920 Speaker 2: for a little change up. Listen, we're close, we have 1197 00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:54,440 Speaker 2: close friendships with the other ways on the show. I 1198 00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:57,400 Speaker 2: think certain things turn too dark where people can't be 1199 00:52:57,480 --> 00:52:58,879 Speaker 2: around each other. That's a given. 1200 00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:02,719 Speaker 1: Well, listen, don't you feel like now I'm watching Atlanta obviously. Yes, 1201 00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:06,000 Speaker 1: last our Sunday night that was talk about dark. 1202 00:53:06,760 --> 00:53:09,719 Speaker 2: Yes, I think a few things, you know, and I 1203 00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:13,960 Speaker 2: think the social media leaks, social media league terrific. I 1204 00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:17,480 Speaker 2: think things happened. Uh, I'm kind of enjoying my you 1205 00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:20,239 Speaker 2: know break, you know, but it was a big part. 1206 00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:22,040 Speaker 2: You know, it was a you know, you were on 1207 00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:24,239 Speaker 2: a little bit but you can't compare time, but it 1208 00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:26,239 Speaker 2: was a big part of your life, even the short 1209 00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:28,000 Speaker 2: time as a friend of as a bad because it 1210 00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:32,600 Speaker 2: takes over. It does take over, so it is but 1211 00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:35,920 Speaker 2: I enjoyed the time with the people I love. Yeah you, Melissa, 1212 00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:38,080 Speaker 2: Rachel Dolores, you know what I'm saying. 1213 00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:41,000 Speaker 1: And before that, though years that before us, you are 1214 00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:41,600 Speaker 1: still loving it. 1215 00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:43,719 Speaker 2: I still love it, even though I you know some 1216 00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:46,960 Speaker 2: parts I could you know. I love my crew, I 1217 00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:48,880 Speaker 2: love the production. You know, I love being part of 1218 00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:52,799 Speaker 2: the brother film. But you know, nothing less forever. That's 1219 00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:54,520 Speaker 2: the other thing, nothing less forever. It's a part of 1220 00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:55,839 Speaker 2: my life, it's not my whole life. 1221 00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:57,960 Speaker 1: Do you want it? I know you're asked this constantly 1222 00:53:57,960 --> 00:53:59,920 Speaker 1: because I'm asked it constantly, and I'm not. I don't 1223 00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:02,279 Speaker 1: haven't been on the show for the time that you 1224 00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:05,480 Speaker 1: have or had the impact. But do you want it 1225 00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:07,160 Speaker 1: to come back? If you do, what do you want 1226 00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:07,439 Speaker 1: to see? 1227 00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:11,239 Speaker 2: Of course, listen, I never want to see Jersey go away. 1228 00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:15,040 Speaker 2: I think it's just such an iconic show. I'd like 1229 00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:19,040 Speaker 2: to come back in a fun way. I think people 1230 00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:24,120 Speaker 2: want it. But if it I would have liked to 1231 00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:26,520 Speaker 2: go out on more and be high. Yeah, you know 1232 00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:29,120 Speaker 2: what I'm saying, as opposed to the way it did, 1233 00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:30,000 Speaker 2: so I would love that. 1234 00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:34,120 Speaker 1: Do you feel like because I mean again, like you've 1235 00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:36,880 Speaker 1: been people recognize you that don't recognize me. You've been 1236 00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:39,040 Speaker 1: doing this for way longer. But don't you feel like 1237 00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:41,080 Speaker 1: everyone seems to want it so badly? 1238 00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:41,880 Speaker 2: Yes, everybody. 1239 00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:44,680 Speaker 1: Everybody's like everyone else everyone When. 1240 00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:46,279 Speaker 2: I look at it this way, Also, Atlanta went away 1241 00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:48,800 Speaker 2: for a few years and came back. Yeah, and maybe 1242 00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:52,279 Speaker 2: some new alliteration. I don't think a total reboot would happen, 1243 00:54:52,440 --> 00:54:54,560 Speaker 2: but we'll see what happened. Yeah, you know, and I 1244 00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:56,200 Speaker 2: don't know where I'm going to be a year from now. 1245 00:54:56,480 --> 00:54:57,640 Speaker 2: I don't know where you're going to be a year 1246 00:54:57,640 --> 00:54:59,279 Speaker 2: from now. No one knows what's going to happen a 1247 00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:03,919 Speaker 2: year from now, But you know, we'll have to see 1248 00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:05,480 Speaker 2: what happens. That's kind of the way for you know. 1249 00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:07,319 Speaker 1: I mean I was on it the past two years, 1250 00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:09,600 Speaker 1: and I want to not like I just missed the show, 1251 00:55:09,719 --> 00:55:10,600 Speaker 1: like forget me on it? 1252 00:55:11,239 --> 00:55:11,799 Speaker 2: Like what now? 1253 00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:14,760 Speaker 1: What is going to happen? Where is Margaret? 1254 00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:18,000 Speaker 2: Where is Like? I think everybody's life is going to 1255 00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:21,280 Speaker 2: change and new things are going to happen to everybody, 1256 00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:23,280 Speaker 2: and I think there'll be new stories. 1257 00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:27,279 Speaker 1: There's something about Jersey, right, and I'm reading other you 1258 00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:30,799 Speaker 1: are first and foremost, Yes, something about Jersey. 1259 00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:31,960 Speaker 2: There's authentic. 1260 00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:35,160 Speaker 1: Friendships and relations people say the family thing, and of 1261 00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:37,320 Speaker 1: course I'll talk about Melissa and Teresa and there is that. 1262 00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:39,920 Speaker 1: But I don't know. I don't know if something's in 1263 00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:42,080 Speaker 1: the water in Jersey. I think that just made the 1264 00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:43,160 Speaker 1: show so addict. 1265 00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:45,839 Speaker 2: I think people are very authentic, you know. I think 1266 00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:48,480 Speaker 2: it's very authentic relate not a lot of airs maybe 1267 00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:50,520 Speaker 2: put on as much as there are and some of 1268 00:55:50,560 --> 00:55:53,400 Speaker 2: the other shows. I think it's authentic relationships. I mean, 1269 00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:58,480 Speaker 2: I even said with Beverly Hills, and I love Beverly Hills, 1270 00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:01,960 Speaker 2: Tales watching and everything else. You know, I don't know. 1271 00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:04,600 Speaker 2: I think sometimes people don't say things is bluntly. Maybe 1272 00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:05,400 Speaker 2: we're more direct. 1273 00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:08,200 Speaker 1: Well when you say we, I know you mean you 1274 00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:09,920 Speaker 1: not as blunt as I am. 1275 00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:14,000 Speaker 2: You say things direct, well direct, you're more direct than them. 1276 00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:17,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I am too. I mean, listen, it's 1277 00:56:17,640 --> 00:56:19,000 Speaker 1: something you have to get used to. I mean, I 1278 00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:20,880 Speaker 1: don't know if you ever really had that, you never 1279 00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:21,920 Speaker 1: really had to get acclimated. 1280 00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,320 Speaker 2: You you went in with I was in business alone, 1281 00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:26,160 Speaker 2: right and working with men in this, that and the 1282 00:56:26,239 --> 00:56:27,920 Speaker 2: other thing. And you know, you don't get if you 1283 00:56:27,960 --> 00:56:29,799 Speaker 2: don't ask yeah the booth say well. 1284 00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:33,800 Speaker 1: The producer said to me before I started filming Season thirteen, 1285 00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:38,479 Speaker 1: your job is to say what you think. So things 1286 00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:41,759 Speaker 1: that you would never say now you say them. And 1287 00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:45,000 Speaker 1: that took a little getting used to for me to 1288 00:56:45,880 --> 00:56:49,439 Speaker 1: be able to articulate I think you're a fucking bitch 1289 00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:51,680 Speaker 1: like that. You know that's not a normal thing necessarily 1290 00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:54,640 Speaker 1: to say to somebody who you're friends with their wark 1291 00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:57,279 Speaker 1: rooms with. It's tricky, but you got the hang of 1292 00:56:57,320 --> 00:56:59,040 Speaker 1: it fast. It took me a little more time. 1293 00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:00,719 Speaker 2: Like I'd like to say, I know you do I 1294 00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:02,360 Speaker 2: like to say in my real life too, I know you. 1295 00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:04,200 Speaker 2: But then I like to move on very quickly because 1296 00:57:04,239 --> 00:57:07,800 Speaker 2: I don't like to hold a grudge. Yes atle grudge holder. 1297 00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:10,400 Speaker 1: I'm never crossing Djoe b Nigno ever ever ever, And 1298 00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:11,160 Speaker 1: I have. 1299 00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:13,920 Speaker 3: To put one more thing in. What people don't realize 1300 00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:19,120 Speaker 3: is on the show, they watched all of us talk, mingle, fight, 1301 00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:23,000 Speaker 3: get along, and now they're not filming. But the people 1302 00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:26,280 Speaker 3: who we were friends with on the show, we're still 1303 00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:31,640 Speaker 3: genuinely friends with. And that does not stop people we 1304 00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:36,480 Speaker 3: we are. We might argue and we make up, right, 1305 00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:39,120 Speaker 3: Jeff and I might go to someplace and we we 1306 00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:41,760 Speaker 3: do the same. We watch No, we never fight, but 1307 00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:45,600 Speaker 3: we watched the girls like have a discussion about a 1308 00:57:45,800 --> 00:57:47,920 Speaker 3: don I know, and we still do have it. 1309 00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:49,720 Speaker 1: I do. I will speak for myself. 1310 00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:54,120 Speaker 3: So when you're watching Jersey, they're really watching real life. 1311 00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:56,760 Speaker 3: It doesn't change. The only difference is there's a camera 1312 00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:59,520 Speaker 3: or not a camera. But it's exactly the same. Yeah, 1313 00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:00,760 Speaker 3: it's it's interesting. 1314 00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:03,760 Speaker 2: We go to events together, we do fun things together, 1315 00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:07,560 Speaker 2: our feelings get hurt. Yes, so I think it's just 1316 00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:10,120 Speaker 2: I just recently went listen look just even on White 1317 00:58:10,160 --> 00:58:13,400 Speaker 2: Lotus the female friendships, right, it's very accurate. 1318 00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:15,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, it is, actually, except I hate all three of 1319 00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:19,120 Speaker 1: those bitches. So I didn't like one of them, did you? 1320 00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:21,640 Speaker 2: I did, really betwe did like Cary Cohon. I did 1321 00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:22,000 Speaker 2: like Lori. 1322 00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:24,440 Speaker 1: I liked her the best. Yes, she was certainly the 1323 00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:26,320 Speaker 1: most authentic. I wanted to punch the other one in 1324 00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:28,840 Speaker 1: the face, the pretty one, but they were all pretty. 1325 00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:30,320 Speaker 1: I shouldn't say that. But the one there was like 1326 00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:30,880 Speaker 1: the movie star. 1327 00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:31,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't like her. 1328 00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:33,040 Speaker 1: Noxious woman. 1329 00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:34,040 Speaker 2: I didn't like her either. 1330 00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:36,640 Speaker 1: Anyway, you guys, I don't know how long we've been going, 1331 00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:37,680 Speaker 1: I could go on. 1332 00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:39,400 Speaker 2: I think this was a great thing. 1333 00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:42,440 Speaker 1: I love you guys so much. I just also want 1334 00:58:42,440 --> 00:58:44,439 Speaker 1: to say to listeners like, I don't know. It doesn't 1335 00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:48,400 Speaker 1: always work out like Margaret and Joe, but I don't know. 1336 00:58:48,560 --> 00:58:50,720 Speaker 1: I think it's such a it's so fabulous to hear 1337 00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:52,919 Speaker 1: a story like yours, to know that, like you went 1338 00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:55,560 Speaker 1: through hell, especially Margaret, as you were saying, like with 1339 00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:58,080 Speaker 1: the kids, and here you are. 1340 00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:03,920 Speaker 2: And now yes minus at six kids. Well everything was 1341 00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:06,640 Speaker 2: great with five Okay, on not so good. But you 1342 00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:09,000 Speaker 2: know what, I have adults at them all. 1343 00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:11,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, five, i'd say no, but I mean you're sitting 1344 00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:13,600 Speaker 1: on the couch crying because you're so grateful. 1345 00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:15,000 Speaker 2: And I think and I am so grateful, and Joe 1346 00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:17,040 Speaker 2: and I are. It's a it's a long time write. 1347 00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:19,280 Speaker 2: I mean even we didn't get married till twenty thirteen, 1348 00:59:19,320 --> 00:59:20,040 Speaker 2: but it's a long time. 1349 00:59:20,160 --> 00:59:20,360 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1350 00:59:20,680 --> 00:59:23,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, so listen. I mean there's something to be said 1351 00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:25,440 Speaker 1: for all of that. I love you both so much, 1352 00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:28,360 Speaker 1: love you, thank you for coming here, Thank you, thank you, 1353 00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:30,080 Speaker 1: and thanks to all the listeners. 1354 00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:30,840 Speaker 3: Yeah there you go. 1355 00:59:31,120 --> 00:59:34,000 Speaker 1: Okay, thank you both so much for coming on and 1356 00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:37,080 Speaker 1: being so open, and thank you for all the advice 1357 00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:39,600 Speaker 1: that you gave. It was, in my humble opinion, really 1358 00:59:39,640 --> 00:59:42,480 Speaker 1: great advice. So, listeners, are you going through a divorce, 1359 00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:45,720 Speaker 1: are you trying to navigate life after a breakup? Call us, 1360 00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:48,800 Speaker 1: email us, follow us on socials. All the information will 1361 00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:50,800 Speaker 1: be in the show notes. Make sure to rate and 1362 00:59:50,880 --> 00:59:54,720 Speaker 1: review the podcast please. I do part two at iHeart Podcast, 1363 00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:56,720 Speaker 1: where falling in love is the main objective.