Speaker 1: You can watch the original episode we'll be discussing in
Speaker 1: every other episode of HBO's Curby Your Enthusiasm, including the
Speaker 1: new and final season, on Max.
Speaker 2: You can also watch.
Speaker 1: The video version of the history of Curby Your Enthusiasm
Speaker 1: podcast on Max and YouTube as well.
Speaker 2: Links available in the episode description.
Speaker 3: All Right, so, hi Jeff, We're back.
Speaker 4: Hi Susie, good to be back with you.
Speaker 1: We are on season four, episode seven, The Surrogate.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, So we start.
Speaker 1: Out with Larry and Cheryl watching a Seinfeld rerun. It's
Speaker 1: the Puffy Shirt episode. They're in bed and the phone rings,
Speaker 1: and we see that every time after an episode airs,
Speaker 1: and I gotta tell you a story about this in
Speaker 1: a minute. It's their friend Marilyn, who wants to go
Speaker 1: over the episode with them.
Speaker 2: It's really annoying.
Speaker 4: I'm very curious. I'm in great pain to watch these episodes.
Speaker 4: It's like I enjoy them when I do watch them,
Speaker 4: but my motivation to watch them because I have the
Speaker 4: experience in my head as which I talk about as
Speaker 4: a poet to seeing it. But I'm actually enjoying it
Speaker 4: more than I would. But if it ran and reruns
Speaker 4: and it's on HBO, I would under normal circumstances, that'd
Speaker 4: be like one of the last things I'd want to watch.
Speaker 2: I'd rather We don't know if Harry actually does watch.
Speaker 4: No, I don't think she does.
Speaker 2: Of the episode.
Speaker 4: Episode, but yeah, he wrote it, probably because he had
Speaker 4: the ending in mind.
Speaker 1: So this character Marilyn every night watches a rerun and
Speaker 1: every night calls them after each rerun. It's annoy But
Speaker 1: I was once somewhere. I don't want to say where
Speaker 1: I was because I don't want to give away who
Speaker 1: it is. And this woman approached me and she told
Speaker 1: me she was that character, and that she used to
Speaker 1: be very good friends with Larry and Laurie, and that
Speaker 1: she to always call every single night after the rerun
Speaker 1: and didn't know that it was so annoying until she
Speaker 1: watched this episode.
Speaker 4: Oh that's funny.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's funny, and she was actually quite hurt by it.
Speaker 4: Well, tell her to go to a good class for
Speaker 4: self awareness. I mean, you, eactly, you gotta think twice.
Speaker 4: You know. I wear this on my wrist, which it
Speaker 4: gives me pause. I don't have to snap it. I
Speaker 4: just look at it and it's like whoa, whoa, chill
Speaker 4: out and if she had this on she looked at
Speaker 4: it and go, oh, yeah, don't call Larry. Is she's
Speaker 4: remotely self aware, which clearly she wasn't. And I love
Speaker 4: that she was hurt because she wasn't identified.
Speaker 2: No, she wasn't identifying.
Speaker 1: That's why I don't want to say what she does
Speaker 1: for a living, because that would kind of give it away.
Speaker 1: But she was hurt and apparently not friends with them
Speaker 1: any longer.
Speaker 4: Well there is no them anymore.
Speaker 1: Well no, but at the time, this happened a long
Speaker 1: time ago. So what this is season four? That was
Speaker 1: two thousand and four, two thousand and five, something like that,
Speaker 1: And this is.
Speaker 4: A season I realized where there were where behind the scenes,
Speaker 4: a lot of changes and a lot of Did the
Speaker 4: Twins start next season?
Speaker 1: They either start next season of the season after next
Speaker 1: season is one of my favorite seasons.
Speaker 4: But I'm pretty sure that the Twins were are.
Speaker 1: The next Let's explain who the Twins are to people
Speaker 1: who don't know.
Speaker 4: Alick Burg, Jeff Schaeffer, and David Mandel who correct Jeff
Speaker 4: still is a producer director on the show, creative producer.
Speaker 2: Very hands on.
Speaker 4: Alc Berg went on to Silicon Valley and co created
Speaker 4: Berry and Mandel did viep. Bendel did Veep and he
Speaker 4: did that most recent Plumbers, the Plumbers the water mini series.
Speaker 2: So I used to call them.
Speaker 1: I believe you made it up, Jeff. We used to
Speaker 1: call them the Twins. It was three of them, but
Speaker 1: we called them the twins because.
Speaker 4: I am not great at remembering names. And Berg and
Speaker 4: Schaeffer their first job writing for a half hour comedy
Speaker 4: was a series that I did for Fox that, as
Speaker 4: a matter of fact, it was six episodes, never aired.
Speaker 4: It aired in Spain. I got a check, but it did.
Speaker 2: Not air with subtitles or with a dub I.
Speaker 4: Have no idea, but I imagine both were available, just
Speaker 4: like here, I always watch with subtitles. Well, the dubbing
Speaker 4: is so ridiculous.
Speaker 2: The dubbing is hilarious to watch.
Speaker 1: To watch ourselves dubbed in Spanish or German or.
Speaker 4: I'm not talking about us, I'm talking when I watched,
Speaker 4: I don't think.
Speaker 2: But to watch this show dubbed.
Speaker 1: I have been in other countries where I flipped through
Speaker 1: the channels and seen us dubbed, and it makes me laugh.
Speaker 4: It's so's gonna not make you laugh, would make me
Speaker 4: laugh for your air. So anyhow, the twins, that's what
Speaker 4: I called them, because I'm not good names. And then
Speaker 4: when they started working on Curb with Mandel as a team,
Speaker 4: a three team, I still call them the twins, you know,
Speaker 4: and it stuck. And I didn't even try like, oh,
Speaker 4: that'll be funny. It was like, no, no, no, twins
Speaker 4: works for me. I'm not going to let Mandel ruin it.
Speaker 2: Well that's what we called them, and that's.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was the that was their name.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the twins.
Speaker 1: But we'll get to them a lot more, and hopefully
Speaker 1: they'll all be on the show when we get to
Speaker 1: their season.
Speaker 4: I think that they I know Jeff's available to because
Speaker 4: he's probably in post on that show. Yeah, and he's
Speaker 4: already said yes. But hopefully I know Berg and Mandel
Speaker 4: would want to. I don't know.
Speaker 1: We'll see where they're at, see where they're at. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So she calls. We get through all that, and then
Speaker 1: they're like, you know, Cheryl's imitating her?
Speaker 2: Are they rolling their eyes? Clearly they're annoyed by this.
Speaker 1: Maryland and Larry says that tomorrow he's getting a physical
Speaker 1: for the producers. We find out that information and Cheryl
Speaker 1: asked him, can you do me a favor?
Speaker 5: Will you pick up a present for the Doos and
Speaker 5: Berry's baby shower? Me, you're gonna be right there. There's
Speaker 5: a toy sort.
Speaker 6: You wouldn't trust me with something like that, a gift
Speaker 6: for a baby.
Speaker 5: Just get a doll or something.
Speaker 6: So you want me to get a doll for Betty?
Speaker 5: Get a doll for Betty. It's it's her baby shower.
Speaker 6: What about the surrogate? Get her anything?
Speaker 5: I don't think you need to worry about the surrogate.
Speaker 6: I don't know about that. I think the surrogate is
Speaker 6: a person too. She's having the baby.
Speaker 5: The shower is for Betty, so.
Speaker 4: She's going to be opening up presents.
Speaker 6: The sarrogate is going to be standing there like an idiot,
Speaker 6: and she has nothing to open. The whole thing's what's
Speaker 6: the surrogate.
Speaker 1: Etaguin asking Larry to get a shower gift, you know,
Speaker 1: nothing good is gonna come.
Speaker 4: Well, she suggested a few things, and then she also
Speaker 4: mentioned a doll. Larry went with the doll.
Speaker 1: And he says, Larry says, for Betty, who is the mother?
Speaker 1: What about the surrogate? So now we find out that
Speaker 1: the couple who's having the baby shower as a surrogate.
Speaker 1: The shower is for Betty. But you know, Larry's like,
Speaker 1: what's the surrogate etiquette? And I don't think any of
Speaker 1: us really know what the surrogate etiquette is, do you.
Speaker 4: Uh No, I don't have a clue none.
Speaker 2: Well, basically, I'm is even at the baby shower, That's
Speaker 2: what I was.
Speaker 4: Going to say. That's not generally because they don't want
Speaker 4: an emotional connection.
Speaker 2: Correct to thee.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then Cheryl starts to rub Larry's hand like
Speaker 1: trying to, you know, get in a little frisky. Wants
Speaker 1: to have sex, and Larry says he can't because he's
Speaker 1: still suffering from the dog from Oscar biting his penis.
Speaker 4: And by the way, if it was the foul even
Speaker 4: if season ten he got bit on the Wiener season
Speaker 4: one of the next season, it never even happened.
Speaker 2: Never happened.
Speaker 4: We start fresh every season. So when I saw this,
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, that's right, we'll continue whatever through the season.
Speaker 1: He's not ready couple of more days, and then we
Speaker 1: see him cut to he's at the medical facility and
Speaker 1: he's in the waiting room and he doesn't care for
Speaker 1: the magazine collection and it's a pretty shitty magazine.
Speaker 4: Com no you look at it. And this is one
Speaker 4: of those ones where yes, he's right, and when he goes.
Speaker 1: Family Circles Home Journal, but.
Speaker 4: When he goes up to the receptionist, he's actually making
Speaker 4: a nice suggestion. He's not going over the line because
Speaker 4: it is a suggestion.
Speaker 2: Correct, I agree with you.
Speaker 4: And the receptionist continues along string string of receptionists and
Speaker 4: assistance that immediately have a disliking to Larry.
Speaker 1: Immediately immediately, whether deserved or not. And then he's in
Speaker 1: the doctor's office and again it's a Jack Gallagher, Yes,
Speaker 1: terrific Jack Gallagher, who is Metropore and we love and
Speaker 1: Larry's on the treadmill and you know, doing one of
Speaker 1: those stress test things, and he starts complaining about the
Speaker 1: magazines the way Tom Cruise is.
Speaker 4: Forty I know, I know, and then emilias forty.
Speaker 2: All right, So Larry is on the tread mill.
Speaker 1: He's complaining that you should have Golf magazine, you should.
Speaker 2: Have the Nation.
Speaker 1: And he's on the treadmill doing his stress test and Renee,
Speaker 1: the nurse comes in and she's a beautiful woman and
Speaker 1: Larry starts looking it at her and the hearts it's
Speaker 1: going crazy, you see the monitors.
Speaker 4: So she's gorgeous and she's curvy, and it really goes
Speaker 4: crazy when she bends.
Speaker 1: Over and there she bends over. He's a little cleavage,
Speaker 1: he's a little a good amount. Well what you know,
Speaker 1: it's it's just like control yourself.
Speaker 2: But he can't.
Speaker 1: And then doctor Jack can't sign the form because it's irregular.
Speaker 1: So he gives him a heart halter, which he needs
Speaker 1: to wear for twenty four hours, which has electrodes, you know,
Speaker 1: things all attached to his body and whatever.
Speaker 4: By the way, as you know, I've had heart problems.
Speaker 4: I've worn a halter at least a half dozen times.
Speaker 4: Have you.
Speaker 2: I have never worn a halter a halter top hold on.
Speaker 4: In high school. I had to wear it, and that
Speaker 4: is about.
Speaker 2: Right, because I had heart problems in high school.
Speaker 4: I had this thing called wolf Arkinson White syndrome, you know,
Speaker 4: and that causes tachycardia, and before they discovered it was
Speaker 4: that I had to wear a hard halter a few
Speaker 4: times in high school a few times after. But in
Speaker 4: high school, anything that makes you different, you're I'm glad
Speaker 4: I was popular. That being said, it was not easy
Speaker 4: and it was very embarrassing.
Speaker 1: And in high school, I would imagine a little cleavage
Speaker 1: really makes the heart well, by the way, in high school,
Speaker 1: adult man should be able to control himself.
Speaker 4: It was the time though, where the little box that
Speaker 4: I was given it wasn't nearly as big as that box.
Speaker 4: It was still pretty big. I told people it was
Speaker 4: a walkman, you know, to protect myself, all right, heart.
Speaker 1: Halter, okay, And Renee is placing it on him and
Speaker 1: you see you ready, she's placing it on and he's
Speaker 1: getting off flustered and famished. And then we find out
Speaker 1: he's out to lunch with Lewis, and we find out
Speaker 1: that Lewis is actually dating Renee, and he says to Larry,
Speaker 1: have you ever made it with an African American woman?
Speaker 1: You know, Louis is so hip? Have you ever made
Speaker 1: it with an African American? And Larry says, yes, twice,
Speaker 1: two different people, which is a little surprising to me.
Speaker 4: Larry, wait, wait, wait, Richard goes three way, three way,
Speaker 4: and of course Larry burst out laughing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then Lewis starts saying that he's a little
Speaker 1: self conscious.
Speaker 2: He's self conscious.
Speaker 1: He went to the locker room at the nick game
Speaker 1: recently and the forward threw his towel off, and it
Speaker 1: was like a huge penis from another planet, like just from.
Speaker 2: Huge, huge, huge.
Speaker 1: And Larry says, you need to see a guard that
Speaker 1: the forward. The guard is a smaller guy. What are
Speaker 1: you looking at a forward for? Of course he's huge.
Speaker 2: We'll be right back.
Speaker 3: Stay tuned, and we're back.
Speaker 1: So Louis is worried about Renee that he can't live up.
Speaker 2: I don't know whether I would ever want I have intercourse
Speaker 2: with her because I'm a little I'm intimidating.
Speaker 5: You're one of the few friends.
Speaker 4: I can tell us.
Speaker 6: Okay, well then maybe I can.
Speaker 4: I can step in.
Speaker 6: I got that tenth anniversary present. I'm saying, if you
Speaker 6: want to, you know, if you're too intimidated to go
Speaker 6: through with it, I could try.
Speaker 2: A good friend doesn't do that. You don't you know,
Speaker 2: you know you don't have.
Speaker 5: Intercourse with someone who your friend doesn't screw.
Speaker 6: Why it would be a nice tenth anniversary present for me.
Speaker 2: All right, Rather go to Tiffany's to get you a ball.
Speaker 4: I don't want a ball.
Speaker 2: So then they are outside.
Speaker 1: Larry has his valet ticket and there's a black man
Speaker 1: standing next to the valet sign in a suit, a
Speaker 1: vest and a red tie, and Larry hands him his ticket.
Speaker 2: He's not.
Speaker 1: The valet gets very offended, and in the background we
Speaker 1: see Wanda is watching.
Speaker 4: But hold on the second here about the guy getting offended.
Speaker 4: He clearly looks forget if it was a white guy
Speaker 4: wearing that.
Speaker 2: It's one of those argument with a shirt.
Speaker 4: And the red tie, and Arry doesn't see.
Speaker 1: The jacket, wanders like, you know, you automatically think the
Speaker 1: black man is the valet and Larry's defending himself the
Speaker 1: red tide, the vest, and he then he asked Wanda,
Speaker 1: is there any discernible difference between a white man and
Speaker 1: a black man?
Speaker 2: And then she says to him.
Speaker 1: Well, look, did you get my script to that guy?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 6: Yeah, everything's okay, so's you wanly a little favorite?
Speaker 2: Did he get my script? Yes he did, and.
Speaker 4: And what I gave it tilman, I'll read it and
Speaker 4: get back to you.
Speaker 2: He's not going to re write it, is he?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: Okay, because that's my baby. Oh yeah, mess with my babe.
Speaker 4: No one's gonna mess with your baby, don't worry about it,
Speaker 4: going to go back to work.
Speaker 2: Yeah, messing with you.
Speaker 6: Is there any black men around, Hector? Is there a valet?
Speaker 6: I need a black man to get my car? Is
Speaker 6: there a black man in the area who wants to
Speaker 6: take my valet ticket?
Speaker 1: And then he's at the toy story, he's looking at us.
Speaker 1: The shelves are very empty of dolls, very very empty.
Speaker 1: And the last doll there, it's the Laurel doll. And
Speaker 1: it's a biracial doll. And Larry is talking to the
Speaker 1: sales clerk.
Speaker 6: What's the race on this doll?
Speaker 5: It's biracial?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Really?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Absolutely?
Speaker 6: Huh So they make this doll specifically for mixed couples,
Speaker 6: for black and white couples, they make a doll for
Speaker 6: their kids.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 6: If somebody's Asian and they marry a white person, are
Speaker 6: they making sort of a half Asian half white doll too?
Speaker 6: See what I'm getting that?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I think that's Yeah.
Speaker 6: I wonder if you do.
Speaker 4: Did you recognize the sales clerk.
Speaker 2: I didn't.
Speaker 4: She's a huge star. Who is it, Melissa McCarthy.
Speaker 1: Melissa McCarthy, Yes, and she's got that weird thing in
Speaker 1: her hair.
Speaker 4: Yes, but what I want to say is that the
Speaker 4: nuance in which she played that person and the way
Speaker 4: she smiled and reacted, Ye, you just went, here's a
Speaker 4: little mother fucking part, and look what this person's doing
Speaker 4: with it. She's good, no what she became, but she's
Speaker 4: not unworthy of stardom. She's more than worthy. But it's
Speaker 4: always amazing how you know, uh, what's the line. It's
Speaker 4: not the parts that are smallest. The actors were small.
Speaker 2: There are no small parts. They are only small actors.
Speaker 4: Well, by the way she showed that she knows that.
Speaker 4: And she had a small part and fucked and knocked
Speaker 4: it out of it and.
Speaker 2: She worked it. Yeah, she worked it.
Speaker 1: And then they're at the shower and Larry brings in
Speaker 1: the gifts, and she sees the monitor on Larry, the
Speaker 1: heart monitor, and she's concerned, and they start talking about
Speaker 1: does Bernie Dusenberry look like Steve DeMarco And you always
Speaker 1: think somebody looks like somebody.
Speaker 4: And Steve DeMarco is someone who has been Larry's golf
Speaker 4: coach and mine, and so he was doing a shout
Speaker 4: out to Steve DeMarco.
Speaker 1: And Betty opens up the door and Larry says, she's
Speaker 1: gonna give o good.
Speaker 3: It's from the David's.
Speaker 2: Oh a all, it's a milato oh good by Rachel
Speaker 2: is what we call it, usually by Rachel.
Speaker 4: Eliza Murray. Her husband is Joel Murray and part of
Speaker 4: the Murray family. Uh, you know, Belle, all of them.
Speaker 4: And Eliza Murray is one of Marla, my ex wife's
Speaker 4: best friends, and I love her. I'm close with her.
Speaker 4: I'm close to both of them. But it was wonderful
Speaker 4: that she was doing this. She did a great job.
Speaker 1: And then Larry has another gift for the surrogate and
Speaker 1: Cheryl's not happy about this that he bought another gift
Speaker 1: for the surrogate and Larry goes over. It's after the
Speaker 1: all the gifts are done being open and he goes
Speaker 1: over to the surrogate.
Speaker 4: But everyone shocked and pu yeah, that he brought something
Speaker 4: from the surrogate.
Speaker 2: Absolutely especially Cheryl, and the surrogate thanks him. She didn't
Speaker 2: expect it.
Speaker 1: And Larry's like, well, you're the one who's carrying the baby,
Speaker 1: you know, and you know you know something, you know
Speaker 1: what's gonna happen. I mean, just knowing Curb, you know,
Speaker 1: what's gonna happen, And you know, he starts telling her
Speaker 1: about you know, I'm a writer and it's not such
Speaker 1: a great job. You don't let them touch my baby,
Speaker 1: you know, echoing what Wanda had just said.
Speaker 6: You never see it again. They take your baby from you,
Speaker 6: they give you a baby to somebody else, and that's it.
Speaker 6: You've lost complete contact with your baby. You never see
Speaker 6: the baby again. And if you're a baby, and they
Speaker 6: give it to another writer, and that writer doesn't let
Speaker 6: you even look at your baby.
Speaker 3: It's part of your job this week you signed up for.
Speaker 2: I mean, you knew you had to give it aver.
Speaker 6: But it's hard to give up that baby. I mean,
Speaker 6: a few years you can see how your script's doing
Speaker 6: it or something I know, But then it's all changed.
Speaker 4: You have nothing to do with it, eh, And.
Speaker 1: You've lost complete contact with your baby. And he's saying
Speaker 1: your baby, baby, talking about a script, and he keeps
Speaker 1: on you.
Speaker 4: She says, three months later you can check in it,
Speaker 4: and he's no, no, it's changed. That's not going to happen.
Speaker 1: Hard to give up that baby. And he starts carrying
Speaker 1: on and carrying on, and if I may it was the.
Speaker 4: Exact perfect number of babies that felt believable. I don't
Speaker 4: know if he said more and cut it out, and editing, well,
Speaker 4: we never know that. I used to know that when
Speaker 4: I'd sit in on editing. For those of you who
Speaker 4: don't remember me saying or didn't listen to that episode,
Speaker 4: I stopped going to editing because Larry likes to watch
Speaker 4: every take.
Speaker 2: He watches every single take in editing still to this day.
Speaker 1: And then we're back at producer's rehearsal and Mel is
Speaker 1: watching Larry rehearse with David Schwimmer and the question you're
Speaker 1: still on book. Larry's still on book, which means it's
Speaker 1: a term. It means he doesn't know his lines.
Speaker 4: Basically, he doesn't know the book is the script, ye,
Speaker 4: and he's reading from the script. By the way, that's me.
Speaker 4: I have no choice but to try and memorize it
Speaker 4: early because if I'm not, if I'm still yeah, he's
Speaker 4: doomed by the way to have this one of.
Speaker 1: The beauties of being an actor. On Curb Your Enthusiasm, oh.
Speaker 4: Man, that has never not been a topic of discussion.
Speaker 4: It's always brought up, whether at lunch or something.
Speaker 2: How free it's star.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just usually it's a guest star that mentions it.
Speaker 2: We're so used to it.
Speaker 4: No, but we all go off by Larry Goes. It's
Speaker 4: you know, cause it's really free.
Speaker 1: We love it that we don't have to memorize any lines.
Speaker 1: And no, you know for our listeners. I mean when
Speaker 1: you have to memorize lines the night before before you
Speaker 1: go to sleep, you're in bed, you're going through your lines.
Speaker 1: You can't sleep because you're trying to read. It's like,
Speaker 1: it's horrible. Some people are great at it. I was
Speaker 1: just reading an article about Judy Dench, who has a
Speaker 1: photographic memory, and she never had difficulty memorizing lines. She's
Speaker 1: lost her eyesight, so she's trying to memorize lines by
Speaker 1: hearing it. She's having a great deal of difficulty. All
Speaker 1: actors have different methods, and some are quite good at
Speaker 1: it and some not.
Speaker 2: I am not.
Speaker 4: For me. It's a muscle and if the muscle is grooving,
Speaker 4: you know you're doing it. Long enough, you've been filming
Speaker 4: for a week, two weeks, the muscle kicks in and
Speaker 4: I have no trouble. It's when I don't do a
Speaker 4: lot of it, or I'm out of shape because I've
Speaker 4: been on shows where.
Speaker 2: I go over it with the you know, the script supervisor.
Speaker 4: Well, the line whoever you know? Yeah, usually shows that
Speaker 4: I'm on there's something, they hire someone, and really it's
Speaker 4: like two times through it and I'm good boom because
Speaker 4: it's a muscle it.
Speaker 2: Also, I find it depends on the script.
Speaker 1: A well written script is way easier to memorize than
Speaker 1: a poorly written script because it makes sense.
Speaker 4: Hold On lu Schneider, our old friend, Yeah, directed a
Speaker 4: lot of episodes that I was in, and he knew
Speaker 4: that if I couldn't remember it, there was something wrong
Speaker 4: with it.
Speaker 1: He just yes that if it makes sense and it's flowing,
Speaker 1: it's much easier to memorize.
Speaker 4: Bad dialogue is impossible.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: When I used to do it recurring on SVU, playing
Speaker 1: a defense attorney, I had all this legal jargon I
Speaker 1: had to memorize.
Speaker 2: It was brutal. It made no sense to me. I
Speaker 2: didn't know what I was saying. It was brutal.
Speaker 4: And SVU was the show that I guess started on
Speaker 4: as the murderer. I don't remember, Jeffy, is that the
Speaker 4: one where Roz asked if I would do it?
Speaker 2: I don't know. She was an EP on all of them.
Speaker 4: I was on what was the one that Chris Noth
Speaker 4: was on?
Speaker 2: Do you know that was SVU?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: No, No, that was cis criminal intent?
Speaker 4: Criminal intent? So I was the murderer on criminal Intent
Speaker 4: and all my dialogue there was nothing that cued me.
Speaker 4: I had to come up with these long passages without remembering. Yeah,
Speaker 4: why like answering a question and no, no, it's that
Speaker 4: show is impossible. Another one, by the way, it's funny
Speaker 4: to bring up. I was the villain on Baywatch and
Speaker 4: all the actors around me they read it once or twice.
Speaker 4: Their muscles were in full force. I had long monologues
Speaker 4: and they beat the shit out of me.
Speaker 2: Well, luckily none of that on Curb. So there's he's
Speaker 2: still on book.
Speaker 1: They open in three and a half weeks and then
Speaker 1: Mel says, did you get your medical results for insurance?
Speaker 1: And then Larry shows him the heart halter that he didn't,
Speaker 1: and then Swim is like are you too old?
Speaker 2: And like you want to race? You want to race,
Speaker 2: and then David Schwimmer's dad comes in.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you have to understand just like Ben Stellar,
Speaker 4: David Schwimmer comes in and does the subtle.
Speaker 2: Animosity absolutely very hostile.
Speaker 4: It builds here, but in general it's really not that
Speaker 4: it's difficult to play that subtly.
Speaker 1: Jack Keller is playing Schwimmer's father, that's who plays Swimmers.
Speaker 4: It was very good.
Speaker 2: Yes, he was very good. That's why I looked it up.
Speaker 1: And he comes in and Larry tells Mel about Renee,
Speaker 1: and then we see in the background David Schwimmer's father
Speaker 1: is showing him some photos and Mel is so funny
Speaker 1: when he starts talking about Victor McLaughlin and Adolph Menjeu
Speaker 1: and rubbing their face.
Speaker 2: You know who also did that face rubbing? Was Brian Keith?
Speaker 2: Was always like rubbing his face. I love Mel. And
Speaker 2: then Schwimmer introduces his day.
Speaker 4: I don't love Brian Keith.
Speaker 2: Not as much as I love Mel. I know there's
Speaker 2: few people I love as much as Mel.
Speaker 4: Although Brian Keith had such a great career in movies.
Speaker 2: And a terrific actor.
Speaker 4: Everyone knows him from Family Affair.
Speaker 1: Family Affair, Jody, but he was in a lot of
Speaker 1: great movies and he no a lot of World War
Speaker 1: two movies.
Speaker 4: But I didn't discover that till later on because I
Speaker 4: watched Family.
Speaker 2: You watch Family Affair.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and by the way, he always wanted to be
Speaker 4: mister French and have a relationship with missus spaces.
Speaker 3: What was his name?
Speaker 4: That actor I'm blocking, Sebastian cabin He's the narrator and
Speaker 4: one of the main characters in Jungle Book.
Speaker 1: Yes, Sebastian Cabot toward of our childhood. And then Schwimmer
Speaker 1: introduces his dad to Mel and to Larry, he's a
Speaker 1: no no, no.
Speaker 4: No, no, no no. He introduces him to Mel.
Speaker 1: To Mel, yeah, and he barely he introduces him to Larry,
Speaker 1: but he barely acknowledges no no, no, no no.
Speaker 2: The father barely acknowledges no.
Speaker 5: No, no, no no.
Speaker 4: He introduces him to Mel because his dad's excited, big fan,
Speaker 4: blah blah blah. Yeah, and Larry's looking over what about me?
Speaker 4: What about me? And Mel walks away if I'm not mistaken,
Speaker 4: And David Schummer looks at Larry and goes, oh, yeah,
Speaker 4: this is Larry. Yeah, yes, And the father's non plush. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and we know why he's nonplussed. But then we get
Speaker 4: into it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because after Irving Schwimmer walks away, Larry says he told.
Speaker 6: Him about the whole Cashew raisin thing, right, you know
Speaker 6: we're talking. You don't have to go back and tell him.
Speaker 4: Larry, are you kidding? I know you said something, and
Speaker 4: of course I said something. It was your suggestion, mister
Speaker 4: constructive criticism. Hey, he's putting four cashes in a bag.
Speaker 2: He deserves constructive criticism about it.
Speaker 6: I want to call him, seriously, I don't think so.
Speaker 4: I just like to call him, iologize. Feel comfortable with
Speaker 4: my dad, David. I'm gonna apologize.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna be very nice, believe me.
Speaker 2: So you told him about the Cashew raisin thing.
Speaker 1: Was that it? And Schwimmer says yeah, and he was
Speaker 1: upset about it, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 4: So Larry DECI no, no, But Swimmer has the justification.
Speaker 4: It was a suggestion you suggested, If that's what you said, suggestion.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, yeah, And Larry wants to call him
Speaker 1: to apologize, wants to call Irving Schwimmer to apologize. So
Speaker 1: he's in Larry's in his car, in his little Prius.
Speaker 4: By the way, Schwimmer also very reluctantly gives the number.
Speaker 4: I'd rather not call my father. Well, don't call after ten,
Speaker 4: which becomes a theme all through the show about the cutoffs.
Speaker 1: Right, which for the first time we saw that was
Speaker 1: in season one in the wire, Yeah was the cutoff.
Speaker 2: We'll be right back.
Speaker 3: Stay tuned.
Speaker 2: Okay, we're back.
Speaker 1: Larry pulls the car over and he dials Irving Schwimmer's
Speaker 1: number and he starts to leave a message when in
Speaker 1: the middle of the message, which is a perfectly normal message,
Speaker 1: somebody rear ends Larry.
Speaker 6: Oh, this is Larry David. I just want to say,
Speaker 6: your fucking asshole, what's your fucking problem?
Speaker 3: You're prick Jesus.
Speaker 2: So we know this is going to come back to
Speaker 2: haunt him. It's just how could it not.
Speaker 1: Nothing happens without it coming back to haunt him. And
Speaker 1: the guy in the car that he's yelling at gets
Speaker 1: out of the car with a tire iron and he
Speaker 1: starts to go after and by the way, and that
Speaker 1: excellent actor who's never stopped, yes, I know I recognized him,
Speaker 1: but what's his name again?
Speaker 4: He at that point was in that Tom Hanks Steven
Speaker 4: Spielberg mini series about the war Rominy Malik was in it.
Speaker 4: It was on HBO. It was very Brothers. He was
Speaker 4: in that and it was very, very successful, and this
Speaker 4: was the next thing that he did after that, and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so he starts to go after Larry, and
Speaker 1: Larry pulls up his shirt because he's got the monitor.
Speaker 2: On, and he pretends to have a heart attack.
Speaker 4: Right typical, which, by the way, I never had that
Speaker 4: opportunity actually, thank god. But when I read that he
Speaker 4: was doing that, I'm with the script. I went, oh,
Speaker 4: that's brilliant. That's brilliant because there's a logical reason why
Speaker 4: his heart's not This is one of those dominoes that
Speaker 4: goes into million directions and having to wear the halter.
Speaker 4: I watching it again, forgot that he's doing this, and
Speaker 4: then I watched it.
Speaker 1: I totally forgot this episode. I totally forgot this episode.
Speaker 1: On rewatching, they call an ambulance. The crowd forms.
Speaker 2: The next thing.
Speaker 1: Larry's on a stretcher in the ambulance and then he
Speaker 1: sees people.
Speaker 4: Wait, wait, wait, right now, hold on, I gotta add
Speaker 4: something here. As he's being put into the ambulance, he's
Speaker 4: trying to explain to them the empt. His legs are
Speaker 4: crossed at the ankle like he's in a casual position.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, which nobody would be.
Speaker 4: And if they had a heart attack, he's just like, oh.
Speaker 2: They're not getting But he didn't have a heart attack.
Speaker 4: No, I know, but still that's why it's funny.
Speaker 1: And he sees in the ambulance, he sees his whole
Speaker 1: crowd running after the surrogate with her big stuffed animal
Speaker 1: that Larry had given her.
Speaker 2: We don't know what that's about, but we can assume.
Speaker 1: And then he's in the hospital talking to the nurse
Speaker 1: and he's talking to her about is it a myth
Speaker 1: or is it true?
Speaker 4: Well, by the way, let's also take a step back.
Speaker 4: A group of people chasing a pregnant woman not something
Speaker 4: you see every day.
Speaker 2: No, no, yeah, but it's a curve of your enthusiasm.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 1: And the nurse in the husband she was terrific. Also,
Speaker 1: she says it's a myth, and Larry says, too bad
Speaker 1: for the black guys. And then he asked her about
Speaker 1: mulatto and she says, no, that's a no, no, it's
Speaker 1: by racial. And then Cheryl comes in and Larry says
Speaker 1: to her, which I love this kind of throwaway. You
Speaker 1: know that she's bi racial, but she still needs sunblock.
Speaker 1: There's no advantage. There's no advantage to being by racial.
Speaker 4: But what's really funny about that is we didn't see
Speaker 4: that conversation, so he was covering lots of topics.
Speaker 1: Correct, yes, And then he tells her there was a
Speaker 1: road rage incident and he faked a heart attack. And
Speaker 1: then Show's pissed off because she's like, if you're not
Speaker 1: even sick, why am I here? You know you faked
Speaker 1: a fucking heart attack? Why am I here? She's pissed off.
Speaker 1: She's pissed off through this entire episode. Cheryl is and
Speaker 1: then she says, Tim, what did you say to the surrogate?
Speaker 1: She's in labor?
Speaker 4: Way hold on? Though They get into an argument. Larry says,
Speaker 4: would you prefer I had a heart attack? Yes? Would
Speaker 4: you prefer that I had? He names a few other
Speaker 4: things and she doesn't dispute it.
Speaker 1: So Cheryl says, the surrogut is in labor and Bernie
Speaker 1: Dousenberry wants to kick Larry's ass because the surrogate wants
Speaker 1: to keep the baby now because there's something that Larry
Speaker 1: said to her. And the elevator opens and there's the
Speaker 1: surrogate with the panda, and we don't know what happens yet.
Speaker 2: But there are primos.
Speaker 1: Cut to there are primos, Larry and Richard Lewis, and
Speaker 1: they're in a bathroom of primos and they're about to
Speaker 1: take a piss and they talk about Larry says there's
Speaker 1: no difference between black men and white men because the
Speaker 1: nurse had told him that.
Speaker 2: And then who should walk in? Jeff uh, Muggsy Boat,
Speaker 2: Muggy Bou's right.
Speaker 1: Muggy Bos, who was one of the great guards of
Speaker 1: all times and a short guy.
Speaker 4: Well that's what was delightful about him. He was so short,
Speaker 4: and when I met him that he was a tiny
Speaker 4: bit shorter than me. And I've been around NBA players
Speaker 4: and they dwarf me. So that's yeah, if you're I'm six' one,
Speaker 4: so if you're less than six to one, you are
Speaker 4: really tiny on that court.
Speaker 2: And you know, but he could move.
Speaker 4: But also remember this too, if memory serves, he didn't
Speaker 4: really know the show.
Speaker 2: Oh really, it wasn't around.
Speaker 1: So Muggsy Bos comes in and they're felling over him,
Speaker 1: you know, the big basketball.
Speaker 4: Fan, and they're making a point to say that they
Speaker 4: hadn't started peeing yet and their hands are clean, but
Speaker 4: they're still not going to shake his hand.
Speaker 1: And they also make a point that he's a guard. Yes,
Speaker 1: because Larry had made that point before. You got to
Speaker 1: look at the guard's Peni's not the forward, the forward
Speaker 1: of the big tall guys.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: So the three of them are at the urinal and
Speaker 1: you see Larry and Lewis is sneaking a peek and
Speaker 1: it's huge, it's massive, and Muggsy sees Larry looking and
Speaker 1: goes after him.
Speaker 2: And what does Larry do? He makes a heart attack?
Speaker 4: Yes, which is it's so funny because he would almost
Speaker 4: need that every episode.
Speaker 1: Well, it's you know, we did a couple of episodes ago,
Speaker 1: we did the special section where he uses his mother's
Speaker 1: death to get out of things. Right now he's using
Speaker 1: the heart monitor, get it say, it's the same idea.
Speaker 1: Cut to we're at the doctor's parking lot and there's
Speaker 1: a black man in the parking lot who was Eric
Speaker 1: our What was Eric?
Speaker 2: He was an AD? Wasn't he?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 4: No, he wasn't a D He was a PA?
Speaker 2: Was he a PA? But he was on the show
Speaker 2: many many years.
Speaker 4: No, he was on the show up until we took
Speaker 4: the big break. Yes, and Eric was the AD. No,
Speaker 4: Jonathan Jonathan Right was.
Speaker 2: The ad was the second ad, Dale was the first AD.
Speaker 4: By the way Eric and I loved each other, we.
Speaker 2: Became very Eric was a great guy, but he was
Speaker 2: One of his.
Speaker 4: Jobs was to give me cues when I'm going to
Speaker 4: enter a scene like it almost So We're in a
Speaker 4: closet and I did this to him twice. We're in
Speaker 4: this little closet and I have to come out, and
Speaker 4: I don't remember why I was in a closet, but
Speaker 4: I have to come out. And when he gives me
Speaker 4: the cueue, I rip a fart and the door has
Speaker 4: to close behind me, and he's alone in this little closet.
Speaker 4: Kind no, no, it's horrible. And I did it to
Speaker 4: him twice. He said the second time, You're not going
Speaker 4: to do that to me again, or the third time
Speaker 4: whenever it was, I won't and Eric I did again. Yeah,
Speaker 4: poor Eric. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So Eric is playing the black man in the parking
Speaker 1: lot and Larry gets out of his car and then
Speaker 1: he realizes he didn't hit the fob to set.
Speaker 2: The alarm, and you know, he hits it after the fact.
Speaker 1: He's you know, a couple of yards away, and Eric
Speaker 1: turns him and says, you think I'm going to steal
Speaker 1: your car and it's not a race thing, and he
Speaker 1: turns the alarm off. See, and then we see Wanda watching,
Speaker 1: which you know, Wanda is a little bit too conveniently
Speaker 1: there all the time.
Speaker 4: No, she's shooting.
Speaker 2: I understand, I understand.
Speaker 4: I believed it completely. But I want to say that
Speaker 4: Larry in these two scenes with Wanda, is in fact
Speaker 4: a victim of circumstance. But I know absolutely there are
Speaker 4: people I know, some that I'm very close to very well,
Speaker 4: who really use that card almost all the time.
Speaker 2: Which card are you talking about?
Speaker 4: Victim of circumstance? I go, there has to be sometimes
Speaker 4: where you're in the wrong, where you've just made a
Speaker 4: terrible mistake.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, the guy who's constantly losing his job,
Speaker 1: but it's everybody else's fault.
Speaker 2: Well, there happens so many times.
Speaker 1: After a while, it's like, eh, look in the mirror
Speaker 1: of my friend exactly.
Speaker 4: So Larry here twice is a victim of circumstance, which
Speaker 4: is unusual, well not for the show. Quite often he is,
Speaker 4: but it's with Wanda, and he doesn't have a leg
Speaker 4: to stand on.
Speaker 2: No, and Wanda says, you saw the black man, you say,
Speaker 2: let me lock my car.
Speaker 6: You put the alarm on.
Speaker 2: The black man made you.
Speaker 4: Go let me lock the car.
Speaker 6: I just hadn't done it yet, it's all.
Speaker 1: And do you think a black man will want that
Speaker 1: piece of shit?
Speaker 2: Piece of shit at toy cardl black man don't want
Speaker 2: a toy car. Black man want a call with some
Speaker 2: get up and go. And then she asked him, did
Speaker 2: you hear back, No.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, no, hold on, you're skipping something,
Speaker 4: which is what black man with the suit is gonna
Speaker 4: get your car. Black man not dressed and nice, am
Speaker 4: gonna steal your car? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then she asked him, did you hear back
Speaker 2: about my script?
Speaker 1: And Larry says he didn't like it, And then that's
Speaker 1: when Wanda says, did you tell him I was black?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 1: You don't know how to play the card. And a
Speaker 1: brown skin black, not like some light skin black. You know,
Speaker 1: a dark black.
Speaker 2: Now Larry is in.
Speaker 1: The doctor's office and he's reading a golf magazine and
Speaker 1: he's practicing his sweat current one.
Speaker 4: And by the way, hold on, hold on, Larry David
Speaker 4: with any tip that said, when we're working, when we're
Speaker 4: not working.
Speaker 2: He is always trying, always pressing air.
Speaker 4: Swing too, never with the club, you know, And so
Speaker 4: the fact that he did it on camera I think
Speaker 4: is funny.
Speaker 1: And he tells the doctor he loves the magazine Improvement
Speaker 1: and he says it's one of the few.
Speaker 2: Times anyone's taken my advice. And he's very very happy
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 1: And then Renee enters because he's going to be retested now,
Speaker 1: and Larry won't look at her. He's looking at the ceiling.
Speaker 1: He's looking to the left, to the right, and Renee says,
Speaker 1: Bernie Dousonbury'll be here in ten minutes, and we see
Speaker 1: Larry's heart rate go up because Cheryl had told him
Speaker 1: that Bernie Dowsonberry wants to kick his ass right right.
Speaker 1: Then he's in bed with Cheryl with the monitor on
Speaker 1: because he didn't pass the test again, and Seinfeld is
Speaker 1: on and the surrogate changed her mind and is giving
Speaker 1: up the baby, and Larry says, the penis is healed
Speaker 1: as soon as I get rid of the monitor, and
Speaker 1: the phone rings and they assume that Seinfeld is over
Speaker 1: the rerun and they assume it's Marilyn. Larry's like don't
Speaker 1: pick up, don't pick up. Shut the lights go to bed,
Speaker 1: and the machine turns on and it's irving Shwimmer.
Speaker 4: This deserve Shwimmer, You motherfucking cock sucking son of a bitch.
Speaker 4: Paster sounds like your character.
Speaker 2: It did, but it wasn't. It was serving Swimmer. And
Speaker 2: that's it.
Speaker 4: And that's what we call a button.
Speaker 2: That is a button. Yeah, that's a great ending, by
Speaker 2: the way, it's a great button.
Speaker 4: But that show is one of those things where it
Speaker 4: goes in and out and crosses over and you don't
Speaker 4: know where it's gonna meet. It's pretty brilliant that show.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, it's a good There's there's a lot of
Speaker 1: good ones in this season, you know, and I think
Speaker 1: there's a lot of good ones in prior seasons.
Speaker 2: But you see a rhythm getting more. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: So we will see you next time.
Speaker 4: Yes, and thank you all for listening very much.
Speaker 3: The history of.
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