Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. Donald Jimminy Trump. Trump is
Speaker 1: basically the X that America kicked out for throwing an
Speaker 1: open house party at the Capitol, And like many X is,
Speaker 1: he really wants a second chance. But instead of promising
Speaker 1: to do better next time, he's threatening to do even worse.
Speaker 1: Former President Trump returned to the campaign trail so to
Speaker 1: speak in Texas last night, and during this rally, Trump
Speaker 1: said he would consider partnering those prosecuted for attack in
Speaker 1: the U. S. Capital on January six. If I run
Speaker 1: and if I win, we will treat those people from
Speaker 1: January six fairly, and if it requires pardons, we will
Speaker 1: give them pardons because they are being treated so unfairly.
Speaker 1: Trump also urged his supporters to hold massive tests and
Speaker 1: cities like New York, Atlanta, and washing In, d C.
Speaker 1: If prosecutors investigating him in those cities bring charges against him.
Speaker 1: If these radical, vicious racist prosecutors do anything wrong or illegal,
Speaker 1: I hope we are going to have in this country
Speaker 1: the biggest protests we have ever had. In reality, they're
Speaker 1: not after me, they're after you. And I just happened
Speaker 1: to be the person that's in the way. Yo oh, man,
Speaker 1: Donald Trump is the greatest conventable time. Yeah. Everything this
Speaker 1: guy said. Everything he said. I mean part of it
Speaker 1: was like the racist person, who are they racist too?
Speaker 1: Who is racist in this thing too? Donald Trump? Huh?
Speaker 1: And then if you think about it, like it's really
Speaker 1: smart what he's thinking, because he could have pardoned all
Speaker 1: of his people when January six happened. You realize that, right,
Speaker 1: he was the president, but he didn't pardon them. He
Speaker 1: let them get prosecuted, and now they're all going to jail.
Speaker 1: He let this happen. But now that his asses on
Speaker 1: the line, now he's like, man, if I was president,
Speaker 1: if I was president, I would have never let this
Speaker 1: happen to you, But you did. It's like some dirtbag
Speaker 1: being like, let me tell you something. If you were
Speaker 1: my girl, but i'm your wife. Yeah, but if you
Speaker 1: were my girl, ship wouldn't have happened. Baby. You gotta admit.
Speaker 1: Trump leans on his supporters really hard. I mean, first
Speaker 1: they had to storm the Capitol because he lost the election.
Speaker 1: Then their donations went to his legal fees because he's
Speaker 1: always getting sued. Now they have to protest if he
Speaker 1: gets charged, Like, where does it end? If Trump does
Speaker 1: go to prison. Is he gonna make these poor people's
Speaker 1: smuggle cigarettes up there? But they're worth more unopened, So
Speaker 1: make sure you get the whole carton up in there
Speaker 1: and don't clench. It'll squish the filters. Anyway, moving on
Speaker 1: from Donald Trump to push Donald Trump. Boris Johnson, the
Speaker 1: British Prime Minister and the guy who starts every morning
Speaker 1: sticking a forking electrical outlets, has been in quite a
Speaker 1: sp to bother lately, which means it's time for another
Speaker 1: installment of keep calm and party on. British Prime Minister
Speaker 1: Boris Johnson just apologized to Parliament after a damning independent
Speaker 1: report was released this morning which condemns quote failures of
Speaker 1: leadership and judgment by Johnson's office over those parties at
Speaker 1: ten Downing Street held during COVID lockdowns, the government being
Speaker 1: scolded like children. The report says there were serious failures
Speaker 1: to observe the high standards. It says that excessive alcohol
Speaker 1: shouldn't be drunk at the workplace. It repeatedly describes the
Speaker 1: culture of drinking and party. Boris Johnson was back in
Speaker 1: Parliament to try to justify the unjustifiable. Here, Mr Speaker
Speaker 1: I get it, and I will fix it, and I
Speaker 1: will decide. And I want to say to the people
Speaker 1: of this country, I know what the issue you is, yes,
Speaker 1: Mrs Peaker, Yes, Yes, it's whether this government can be
Speaker 1: trusted to And I say, Mrs Peaker, yes we can
Speaker 1: be trusted. Yes, we can be trusted to deliver. I
Speaker 1: love how he's like, I identify the problem. I know what. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you made the problem. Of course you know what the
Speaker 1: problem is. But guys, I've solved it because I did it.
Speaker 1: But yes, according to this investigation, Boris Johnson's office had
Speaker 1: a culture of drinking and partying throughout the pandemic. And
Speaker 1: I'll be honest, I'd be more convinced that Boris could
Speaker 1: fix it if he didn't always look like an upside
Speaker 1: down guy doing a keg stand. I'm gonna say, my
Speaker 1: favorite part about this whole scandal is actually how high
Speaker 1: school it is to get caught having a party. Let
Speaker 1: me think about that's the level of scandal. Other world
Speaker 1: leaders are staging coups and invading other countries. Meanwhile, Boris
Speaker 1: is filling vodka bottles up with water like hurry, hurry,
Speaker 1: the Queen will be home soon. More We're two weeks
Speaker 1: away from the Super Bowl, one day a year when
Speaker 1: men can express their emotions openly, and one familiar face
Speaker 1: who won't be there this year is Tom Brady, quarterback
Speaker 1: for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and dude with almost as
Speaker 1: many rings as shan Chi. Brady has appeared in every
Speaker 1: Super Bowl dating back to two I don't know if
Speaker 1: that's that is right, might be, but if it feels
Speaker 1: weird watching it without him this year, you better get
Speaker 1: used to it, because he's never going to be in
Speaker 1: it ever again. Breaking news this hour, seven times Super
Speaker 1: Bowl champion Tom Brady is retiring from football. He removed
Speaker 1: all down. The forty four year old quarterback played two
Speaker 1: NFL seasons and including twenty seasons with the New England Patriots,
Speaker 1: he won seven Super Bowls. I want to read from
Speaker 1: his statement here. This is difficult for me to write,
Speaker 1: but here it goes. I have loved my NFL career,
Speaker 1: and now it is time to focus my time and
Speaker 1: energy on other things that require my attention. Other things
Speaker 1: that require my attention. It's a weird reason to retire.
Speaker 1: It sounds like he's got like household chores. I've loved
Speaker 1: playing in the NFL. But I've got twenty years of
Speaker 1: laundry piling up, so it's time to call it quits. Guys.
Speaker 1: But look, whether you love them or hated him, you
Speaker 1: have to admire Tom Brady's journey. I mean, when this
Speaker 1: dude started his career, he was picked almost dead lost
Speaker 1: in the draft, and yet he ended up dominating the
Speaker 1: game for twenty years, which is an important lesson for
Speaker 1: all the little kids out there who might be coming
Speaker 1: in lost. And that lesson is this probably won't happen
Speaker 1: to you. You see, this was only gonna happen one time,
Speaker 1: and Tom Brady took it. I'm sorry, So if you
Speaker 1: keep coming in dead lost, you probably want to quit
Speaker 1: and do something else. You got this Nightfully being honest,
Speaker 1: this retirement isn't a surprise to anyone, right. What is
Speaker 1: surprising is that at us old, this dude was still
Speaker 1: dominating the NFL. Think about it, the NFL when people
Speaker 1: call accident each other for a living, and this guy
Speaker 1: was doing that in his forties. Most people I know
Speaker 1: in their forties are like, ah, my back hurts. I
Speaker 1: think I slept too long. And now that he's put
Speaker 1: up his cleats, the question is was Tom Brady the
Speaker 1: best football player of all time? Some people say yes
Speaker 1: because he holds all the records and won the most
Speaker 1: Super Bowls. Other people say no because he didn't do
Speaker 1: that for my team. So it'll be a big debate
Speaker 1: for a while. But there's no doubt that he is
Speaker 1: a legend of the game. So congrats Tom Brady on
Speaker 1: a wonderful, wonderful career. Although sadly it means that now
Speaker 1: Gronk has to be put down. Let's go out behind
Speaker 1: the bard, Gronk. We're gonna take you someplace special. You
Speaker 1: know what I You know what I respect about Tom
Speaker 1: Brady for the most part, it man, is that he
Speaker 1: kept his scandals on the field. You know, the flate
Speaker 1: gate with the ball and then whether or not it
Speaker 1: was a tuck rule fumble way back in the day. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I think like the Maga had his locker. That was
Speaker 1: probably the biggest. We don't know about ready, No drug,
Speaker 1: no arrest, no drama getting arrested, no, not none of that.
Speaker 1: It's his wife not murdered. His wife is very unmurdered.
Speaker 1: All right, But let's move on to the hottest fat
Speaker 1: on the Internet right now, and no, I'm not talking
Speaker 1: about hardcore pornography. I'm talking about wordle, the online puzzle
Speaker 1: game that's turned your Twitter timeline into a lame version
Speaker 1: of Tetris. Word is especially interesting because of where it
Speaker 1: came from. You see, it was just invented by one
Speaker 1: guy in Brooklyn who just made it as a gift
Speaker 1: for his girlfriend, which is really sweet. Oh already supple
Speaker 1: way to tell her that she doesn't know to smell.
Speaker 1: I need you to brush up on your five letter words.
Speaker 1: You're really embarrassing me at parties. Anyway. His vision for
Speaker 1: word was for it to be a simple, friendly game,
Speaker 1: totally free, no ads, no app and not addictive, just
Speaker 1: pure fun. And yesterday that vision paid off when The
Speaker 1: New York Times announced that it had bought Word all
Speaker 1: from the Sky for more than a million dollars, Which
Speaker 1: is great for the guy, but now everyone else is
Speaker 1: wondering will word will still be free? So CNN asked
Speaker 1: that question to the New York Times and the answer was, uh,
Speaker 1: I don't know. You guys. You guys, tell me what
Speaker 1: you think, Jonathan. I don't want to make this a
Speaker 1: hostile interview, but you need to answer the question that
Speaker 1: every word wi User wants to know, will you commit
Speaker 1: right here and now that forevermore in perpetuity word all
Speaker 1: will be free to everybody. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: It's great to be here. Um and yes, when the
Speaker 1: word when when world comes to New York Times, it
Speaker 1: will be free to play for every one that doesn't
Speaker 1: answer my question, when it comes to the New York Times,
Speaker 1: it will be free. How about five years from now,
Speaker 1: ten years from now. I wish I had that kind
Speaker 1: of crystal ball, but I don't. So you won't commit
Speaker 1: that word. It will always be free because it's free. Now,
Speaker 1: that's right, it is free. When it comes to the Times,
Speaker 1: it will be free. And yeah, well that took a
Speaker 1: weird turn. I mean, at the beginning he was like,
Speaker 1: you're gonna make us pay for word, and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden he was like, are you gonna make
Speaker 1: us pay for word? Will answer me, bitch. You see
Speaker 1: how nervous the New York Times guy was because in
Speaker 1: the beginning he was like, yeah, it's gonna be fair.
Speaker 1: Then at the end he was like, look, man, just
Speaker 1: please man, come man. That CNN anchor has the skepticism
Speaker 1: of a guy who's been burned by a drug dealer.
Speaker 1: You know. He's like, wow, so this is totally free.
Speaker 1: And then a week later he's like, I see what
Speaker 1: you did. Yeah, I see what you did. Okay, I'll
Speaker 1: ask your dick, but I see what you did. You
Speaker 1: You got me, man, You've got me good. CNN, Yes,
Speaker 1: the channel you watch at the gym while you listen
Speaker 1: to your podcast. The network has always been famous worldwide
Speaker 1: for its twenty four hour news and people shouting at
Speaker 1: each other coverage, but over the past few months, the
Speaker 1: spotlight has been turned on them, especially in the wake
Speaker 1: of Andrew Cuomo's harassment scandals and then Chris Cuomo's secret
Speaker 1: defense of his brother's scandal. Well, today that scandal took
Speaker 1: yet another twist. We have news now to report involving
Speaker 1: our network. CNN president Jeff Zucker has just resigned after
Speaker 1: disclosing a consensual relationship with a colleague he wrote to
Speaker 1: staffords a few minutes ago quote as part of the
Speaker 1: investigation into Chris Cuomo's tenure at CNN. Cuomo, of course
Speaker 1: fired last month. Zucker says, I was asked about a
Speaker 1: consensual relationship with my closest colleague, someone I have worked
Speaker 1: with for more than twenty years. I acknowledged the relationship
Speaker 1: evolved in recent years. I was required to disclose it
Speaker 1: when it begin in but I didn't. I was wrong.
Speaker 1: As a result, I am resigning today. Man, this must
Speaker 1: have been a really weird day for CNN. On the
Speaker 1: one hand, it's bad that your boss is resigning under
Speaker 1: a cloud of scandal. On the other hand, you got
Speaker 1: the scoop. We begin with breaking news. Did you know
Speaker 1: that Jeff and Allison were banging? I saw them coming
Speaker 1: the office together one morning, and I totally called it.
Speaker 1: I mean, I didn't say anything, but I totally called it.
Speaker 1: What's this justin? I'm also involved? But that's right. Jeff Zucca,
Speaker 1: the long time ahead of CNN, is stepping down because,
Speaker 1: according to his statements, he didn't disclose that he was
Speaker 1: having a relationship with a colleague. And I don't know
Speaker 1: if this is the full story, but what I do
Speaker 1: know is that at CNN, it seems like there's no
Speaker 1: middle ground. When there's a scandal there, it's either someone
Speaker 1: who isn't disclosing enough or someone who's disclosing way too much.
Speaker 1: And look, I know the story is going to come
Speaker 1: as a surprise to a lot of people. People gonna
Speaker 1: be like, wow, someone has been in charge of CNN
Speaker 1: this whole time. I thought it was just a bunch
Speaker 1: of roommates that found camera equipment behind a dumpster. But yes,
Speaker 1: Jeff Zucca was running CNN. And you may not know this,
Speaker 1: but he's the one who made CNN what it is today, right.
Speaker 1: He's the one who pushed it towards entertainment more and
Speaker 1: less news. You know, he's the one who said, enough
Speaker 1: of those international correspondents, Let's just get people fighting on camera,
Speaker 1: Like you remember when CNN would just make us watch
Speaker 1: Trump's empty podium for an hour. That was his choice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And the reason he liked putting Trump on so much
Speaker 1: is because he liked Trump, because he knew that Trump
Speaker 1: was good for ratings. Because Jeff Zucca is the one
Speaker 1: who gave Trump the job for the Apprentice, and the
Speaker 1: Apprentice is the only reason that Trump went on to
Speaker 1: become the president. That's not even the craziest part of
Speaker 1: the story. The craziest thing is that Jeff Zucker's downfall
Speaker 1: all started with Andrew Cuomo, Remember him, Yeah, Andrew Cuomo
Speaker 1: grouped women Chris Cuomo, his brother, trying to help him
Speaker 1: so then CNN looked into Chris Cuomo. They investigated him,
Speaker 1: and then they found some ship on Jeff Zucker. What
Speaker 1: So Andrew Coomo was such a creep that he took
Speaker 1: down himself, his brother Chris, and the president of CNN.
Speaker 1: He's like runing Farrell, but by accident. I mean at
Speaker 1: this point, who knows how long Cuomo's fallout is gonna last.
Speaker 1: All right, he grew up a bunch of people. Now
Speaker 1: everyone is feeling it. You know, he's like a human Chinobyl.
Speaker 1: Eighty years from now, Brazilians are going to be at
Speaker 1: war with Australians like Andrew Cuomo. All right, but let's
Speaker 1: move on from someone who's losing his job to someone
Speaker 1: else who's in hot waters at work. Whoopie Goldberg, co
Speaker 1: host of The View and the only coach to lead
Speaker 1: the next to a winning season. In case you missed it,
Speaker 1: the five women on the View, we're having a discussion
Speaker 1: about Mouse. You remember, the graphic novel about the Holocaust,
Speaker 1: And by the time the discussion was all over, the
Speaker 1: panel was down to four. This morning, more fallout for
Speaker 1: Whoopie Goldberg. ABC News suspending Goldberg from the View for
Speaker 1: two weeks after she made controversial comments about Jewish people
Speaker 1: and the Holocaust on Monday's episode. The Holocaust isn't about race.
Speaker 1: It's not about because it's about man's inhumanity to man.
Speaker 1: Better think about a white supremacy, but these are white
Speaker 1: groups of people. Goldberg apologizing live on the program Tuesday yesterday,
Speaker 1: on our show, I misspoke. I regret my comments, as
Speaker 1: I said, and I stand corrected. The segment also included
Speaker 1: an interview with Anti Defamation League CEO Jonathan Greenblatt, who
Speaker 1: later commented on goldberg suspension, we shouldn't cancel what because
Speaker 1: she made a mistake. I heard what you say that
Speaker 1: she's committed to doing better. I accept that apology. ABC
Speaker 1: releasing a statement acknowledging that Whoopy has apologized, but asking
Speaker 1: her to take time to reflect and learn about the
Speaker 1: impact of her comments. WHOOPI Goldberg is in a whole
Speaker 1: lot of trouble, and I understand why. I understand why
Speaker 1: people were upset with what she said because the way
Speaker 1: she said it, it made it sound like the Holocaust.
Speaker 1: It was just some white people who were fighting some
Speaker 1: other white people, you know, sort of like Game of Thrones.
Speaker 1: But as the spokesman for The Anti Defamation League later
Speaker 1: explained to her, Hitler did see Jews as a separate race,
Speaker 1: and even worse, as a separate species, you know, like
Speaker 1: when you think about it, properly protecting the master race.
Speaker 1: That was the Nazis whole thing, you know, race purity,
Speaker 1: like all these tiki torch bitches that you see running
Speaker 1: around now, Hitler was the o g of that. You know,
Speaker 1: in his mind, everyone was supposed to have blonde hair
Speaker 1: and blue eyes except for him. He got to look
Speaker 1: like an angry broom for some reason. But that's not
Speaker 1: the point, you know. So I totally understand why people
Speaker 1: were upset because the Holocaust had everything to do with race.
Speaker 1: And I'm glad that would be a apologize because, like,
Speaker 1: I don't think that she was trying to hurt anybody here,
Speaker 1: you know, I think she made a mistake. And I
Speaker 1: will say I think it's a little weird that her
Speaker 1: network suspended her for sharing her view on the view.
Speaker 1: I mean, if she's remorseful, why send her away? Isn't
Speaker 1: it better to keep her and then use this as
Speaker 1: a teaching moment and then you can have everyone watching
Speaker 1: also learning like, oh, I actually didn't know that about
Speaker 1: the Holocaust. Maybe they didn't rather than sending her away
Speaker 1: for two weeks to do what reflect and and and
Speaker 1: what do her own research? I mean, that's never a
Speaker 1: good idea, you know these days, you tell someone to
Speaker 1: go research the Holocaust on their own, they'll come back
Speaker 1: in two weeks like did you all know that the
Speaker 1: Jews have space lasers? He'll be like a damn it
Speaker 1: you on YouTube? Man Russia, the former and maybe future
Speaker 1: Soviet Union. Over the past few months, Russia has sent
Speaker 1: over one hundred thousand troops to its border with Ukraine,
Speaker 1: which understandably has a lot of people freaked out. Ukraine
Speaker 1: has been preparing for war. America and the United Nations
Speaker 1: have been threatening devastating sanctions on Russia, and today President
Speaker 1: Biden sent thousands of troops to Poland and Romania just
Speaker 1: in case Russia decides to add some more countries to
Speaker 1: a shopping list. But the big question is why why
Speaker 1: is Russia bringing Europe to the brink of war? Well,
Speaker 1: yesterday we finally heard from Russian presidents and leader who
Speaker 1: ends every sentence with or else, Vladimir Putin, and he
Speaker 1: says that none of this is his fault. Russian President
Speaker 1: Vladimir Putin's first comments on Ukraine since December after his
Speaker 1: meeting in Moscow with the leader of Hungary, Putin claimed
Speaker 1: that the West has ignored Russia's tomp demands, including blocking
Speaker 1: Ukraine from joining NATO. In his first public comments on
Speaker 1: this crisis in weeks, President Ladimir Putin accused the US
Speaker 1: of trying to contain Russia. Ukraine is just a tool,
Speaker 1: he said. Despite more than one hundred thousand Russian troops
Speaker 1: now massed on Ukraine's border, Russia still claims it's the
Speaker 1: real victim threatened by the US and its NATO allies,
Speaker 1: and Moscow insists it has no plans to invade Ukraine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Putin says that Russia has no plans to invade Ukraine.
Speaker 1: So I guess those hundred thousand troops on the border,
Speaker 1: they're just doing that thing where you stand outside a
Speaker 1: restaurant and read the menu. No, no, we're not going
Speaker 1: in the right now. Maybe we come back for special occasion.
Speaker 1: And look, I know it's hard to feel sorry for
Speaker 1: anybody with the Russian accent, but I do actually understand
Speaker 1: why Russia is so freaked out by nature, because here's
Speaker 1: the thing, don't forget that NATURE was formed to oppose
Speaker 1: the Soviet Union, right, That's why I was formed. Then
Speaker 1: the Soviet Union broke up, but instead of disbanding, NATO
Speaker 1: has been expanding closer and closer to Russia's borders. So
Speaker 1: from a Russian point of view, just the Russian point
Speaker 1: of view, it's it's almost like they lost a boxing match,
Speaker 1: but then the guy who beat them moved in next door.
Speaker 1: The fight is over. What are you doing here? I
Speaker 1: don't know, man, you tell me. So. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of complex issues that play right here, which is why
Speaker 1: the u N held an emergency session list week to
Speaker 1: try and find a peaceful solution to avert war. And
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know this, but we at
Speaker 1: the Daily Show we have an exclusive look at what
Speaker 1: goes down in the u N, which means it's time
Speaker 1: for another installment of Inside the u N. Alright, alright, alright, everybody,
Speaker 1: I hear about call this session of the u N
Speaker 1: into a session. Uh. One circle, the guys please please,
Speaker 1: one circle. He'll oh, yes, Comcast, yes, I need to
Speaker 1: set up new service please in Ukraine in one week?
Speaker 1: We can say no, no, no, I don't need sports
Speaker 1: packages you you think this is funny. There's nothing funny
Speaker 1: about inviting other countries. Okay, you can't do that. It's
Speaker 1: called consent. Hervey Weinstein. Hey, come on, isn't it annoying
Speaker 1: to remember the names of all these small nothing countries? Uh, Ukraine,
Speaker 1: La Fallen, Yeah, the yeah, the who can keep track?
Speaker 1: If they were all Russia it would be so much
Speaker 1: simpler for everybody. I mean, yes, would Let's be clear,
Speaker 1: if you invite Ukraine, there will make consequences in the
Speaker 1: right guys, yes, yeah, yeah, say are united front? Will
Speaker 1: let us be clear? If you retaliate against Russia, we
Speaker 1: will have no choice but to release this the other
Speaker 1: stating meme. One click and it goes out on the fistbook. Now,
Speaker 1: don't you dare Russia? Excuse me? Excuse me? Everybody? Can
Speaker 1: I just say something? You go ahead? In South Africa?
Speaker 1: Are you really going to keep me wearing this? He mean,
Speaker 1: think about it. You guys have more chrome than we do,
Speaker 1: now yea, yeah, yes, sorry, just just a few more weeks,
Speaker 1: we don't. We don't trust that African COVID. Gentlemen, please,
Speaker 1: we need to focus the future of Ukraine. Is it stick? No,
Speaker 1: excuse me. The future of Russia is yet stick little
Speaker 1: practicularly surrounds Russia. Now, what truice do we have? Russia
Speaker 1: is five thousand mile country. We need room to stretch legs. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but you don't get to tell night out
Speaker 1: who we can and cannot have as a member. If
Speaker 1: we want to let Ukraine in, well that's up to us. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's right with America. Are you going to let us
Speaker 1: into meeto though? Who we've been asking for a while? Well, look,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe. See the thing is, once we
Speaker 1: let you win, well you won't have to beg us anymore.
Speaker 1: And we kind of like that. So it is like sexuality. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess kinda. Uh Hi, this is all nonsense. Uk
Speaker 1: is luscious nibble. How how would you like it, America?
Speaker 1: If we made military alliance with Canada? Hi, Canada is
Speaker 1: our bitch. Okay, you stay the hell away. Actually Canada
Speaker 1: is its own sovereign independent shot. So sorry, we'll talk
Speaker 1: about this averst later. Ask for you Russia, you better
Speaker 1: think real carefully about your next move. Look, we would
Speaker 1: still prefer to solve you currently shoot peacefully and thus,
Speaker 1: talking of goodwill, we held the big for you American
Speaker 1: specialty apple. Bye. See that oh so delicious? Please peace,
Speaker 1: Let's say what why? I never seen apple power like
Speaker 1: this ballas s bringes sticking out of it. But I
Speaker 1: am hungry. No, no, I'm met, can't wait. Actually it's nothing.
Speaker 1: Enjoy your pie, not lack a bit of apple pie.
Speaker 1: This week brought a whole new scandal for the NFL
Speaker 1: when former Miami Dolphins coach Brian Flores filed a lawsuit
Speaker 1: accusing the league of racial discrimination against black coaches. Flora's
Speaker 1: claims that teams are interviewing black coaches with no intention
Speaker 1: of actually hiring them. He says he had an interview
Speaker 1: with the Broncos where the executives showed up an hour
Speaker 1: late and clearly hungover, and he had an interview with
Speaker 1: the Giants that he knew was bullshit because the team
Speaker 1: had already decided to hire a different whites coach, and
Speaker 1: the way he found out that they had already hired
Speaker 1: somebody is pretty wild. Florus, as he found out from
Speaker 1: Patriots coach Bill Belichick that the Giants had hired a
Speaker 1: head coach three days before he was scheduled to have
Speaker 1: an interview with the team. The complaint states. On January twenty,
Speaker 1: Belichick wrote sounds like you have landed. Congrats. Flora's responded
Speaker 1: saying did you hear something I didn't hear? Belichick texted
Speaker 1: back Giants. Flora's later text Belichick to ask if he's
Speaker 1: texting the right coach, before Belichick fesses up that he
Speaker 1: has the wrong man. Sorry, I expected this up. I
Speaker 1: double checked, and I misread the text. I think they're
Speaker 1: naming Dable. I'm sorry about that. Bbat m hmm. This
Speaker 1: is so embarrassing. Why do old people signed their texts? Like?
Speaker 1: Do they do that for everything? I'm so horny right now,
Speaker 1: yours truly, Henry. I want you to go to town
Speaker 1: on my ash. Affectionately you are is Linda squired emoji
Speaker 1: squirt emoji best wishes, Henry. No, but for really, this
Speaker 1: was a screw up by Belichick, and he's a coach,
Speaker 1: so he can't even blame ct because this is how
Speaker 1: Flores found out that he already lost the job that
Speaker 1: he was about to interview for about two And you
Speaker 1: may be wondering, why would an NFL team grant an
Speaker 1: interview to a black coach if they have no intention
Speaker 1: of hiring them. Well, for a long time, black head
Speaker 1: coaches in the NFL were just not a thing. Right.
Speaker 1: In fact, between and nine there were zero black coaches nada. Yeah,
Speaker 1: during that sixty year period, it was easier to find
Speaker 1: a black person in space than coaching in the NFL.
Speaker 1: And finally, in two thousand and two, Johnny Cochrane, yes,
Speaker 1: the O J guy. I guess he was really into football.
Speaker 1: He threatened to sue the league if it didn't get
Speaker 1: its act together, and so the NFL created something called
Speaker 1: the Rooney Rule, which said that at any time that
Speaker 1: there's an opening for a new coach, at least one
Speaker 1: minority candidate has to be interviewed for the job. Which
Speaker 1: is cool, But now Brian Flores is saying that these
Speaker 1: interviews he's getting they aren't real. These teams are just
Speaker 1: going through the motions to satisfy the Rooney Rule. Think
Speaker 1: of it this way. It's almost like when your mom
Speaker 1: emails you that her friend from church, her son is
Speaker 1: moving to your city and she wants you to be
Speaker 1: friends with him, and then yeah, you go get a
Speaker 1: beer with him just to make your mom happy, But
Speaker 1: you know for a fact you're never gonna hire him
Speaker 1: as your friend. And honestly, if you want to make
Speaker 1: someone come to a bullshit interview, the least you can
Speaker 1: do is let them know ahead of time. Let them
Speaker 1: know this is a bullshit interview, because that way they
Speaker 1: can have some fun with it. You know, I think
Speaker 1: how dope it would be to get to an interview
Speaker 1: knowing you're not gonna get the job. Then you can
Speaker 1: give bullshit interviews. So what would you say is your
Speaker 1: biggest weakness. I'm definitely afraid of footballs, and I also
Speaker 1: don't know what the footballs is. Now. Look, we don't
Speaker 1: know for certain why Brian Flores didn't get these jobs,
Speaker 1: but it's clear that the Rooney Rule, despite its good intentions,
Speaker 1: has done nothing to solve the NFL's black coaching problem.
Speaker 1: The x are clear that black coaches are not awarded
Speaker 1: the same opportunities as their white counterparts. Black coaches take
Speaker 1: longer to get hired, they get fired faster. A study
Speaker 1: found the coaches of color average shorter ten years than
Speaker 1: white coaches and were less likely to land another head
Speaker 1: coaching job after being fired. There was an academic study
Speaker 1: that came out across three decades over one thousand coaches,
Speaker 1: finding that Black coaches were one hundred and fourteen percent
Speaker 1: less likely to be promoted to coordinative positions, despite the
Speaker 1: success of coaches such as Tomlin and Tony Dungee, who
Speaker 1: both won Super Bowls. When it comes to head coaches,
Speaker 1: the league is clearly as white now as it was
Speaker 1: in two thousand and three. When the Rooney Rule was institated,
Speaker 1: there were three African American coaches in the National Football League.
Speaker 1: We are nineteen years removed from the institution and implementation
Speaker 1: of the Rooney rule, and there is now one head coach. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's right. Out of thirty two teams in the NFL,
Speaker 1: there's still only one black head coach, which is fewer
Speaker 1: than the number of black coaches when the Rooney rules started.
Speaker 1: So the Rooney rule is basically as useless as the
Speaker 1: five second rule. Yeah, bitch, you dropped your food on
Speaker 1: the floor. If you put in your mouth, that's just nasty. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's not like bacteria slow to figure it out. Is
Speaker 1: that food? Wait? That's food? And it turns out not
Speaker 1: only a black coach is still not getting enough opportunities,
Speaker 1: but when they do get the job, they have a
Speaker 1: much shorter leash than white coaches. Yeah, even if they win,
Speaker 1: there's still a good chance that they're gonna get fired. Now,
Speaker 1: is the NFL doing this on purpose to black coaches?
Speaker 1: Nobody knows. I mean maybe, or maybe it's an unconscious bias.
Speaker 1: And that's what makes racism so hard to prove these days,
Speaker 1: because back in the day, when someone's being racist to you,
Speaker 1: you knew alright, because there'd be upfront. They'll just be like, oh,
Speaker 1: you you want the head coaching job? Ha ha, you're
Speaker 1: ron funny Negro. I didn't even know many girls are
Speaker 1: smart enough to mike jouts. Did you know that, Steve?
Speaker 1: But that's why proving racism for black people in two
Speaker 1: can be so frustrating, right, Sometimes it feel is like
Speaker 1: you know, you you, you're the only person in a
Speaker 1: horror movie who actually knows what's going on. You gotta
Speaker 1: believe me, Man, there's a serial killer in this camp.
Speaker 1: Don't be ridiculous. All these sexy teams are probably stabbing
Speaker 1: themselves to death. Come on. But no matter why it's happening,
Speaker 1: it's clear that black coaches aren't getting the same opportunities
Speaker 1: in the NFL as their white counterparts, which is a
Speaker 1: pretty demoralizing situation for black coaches to be in NFL
Speaker 1: owners have stuck to an old game plan when it
Speaker 1: comes to hiring head coaches, and that in turn has
Speaker 1: sent morale among black coaches plummeting to a new law.
Speaker 1: It's now so bad. Football agent Brian Levy convened a
Speaker 1: Zoom meeting for many of the black coaches he represents
Speaker 1: to talk about the Rooney rule. Part workshop, part therapy session.
Speaker 1: You see, um, guys that are not as qualified. Um
Speaker 1: that jump ahead of you. Guys that you have trained
Speaker 1: and that we're under you for years. That that jump
Speaker 1: And now, so what is the criteria? You know, the
Speaker 1: resume doesn't matter anymore. He's not getting interview because he's
Speaker 1: the qualified code he's going to do because they have
Speaker 1: to hit that quota. You see the black name like, oh,
Speaker 1: he's the Rooney That's why he did. He's the Rooney man.
Speaker 1: You see the ship. The situation is so bad for
Speaker 1: black coaches that they are voluntarily having Zoom meetings. Do
Speaker 1: you know how truly unfair something has to be for
Speaker 1: football coaches to talk about their feelings. Think about it.
Speaker 1: Even when they win the Super Bowl, they'll be up
Speaker 1: on the podium that night like he played well today.
Speaker 1: Then give the boys twenty minutes off tomorrow and then
Speaker 1: it's back to the way room. This is the most
Speaker 1: exciting day of my life. Well, for more on this issue,
Speaker 1: let's go now to our senior Tailgates and correspondence, Roy
Speaker 1: Wood Jr. Roy, I believe you're out at Miami Dolphins
Speaker 1: Stadium right now, and this story is truly a bombshell story.
Speaker 1: It is shocking, Trevor, shocking. I can't believe that racism
Speaker 1: still exists in the NFL. I mean, they had in
Speaker 1: racism on their helmet. You're telling me they didn't do anything,
Speaker 1: you know, Roy, I'm a shocked because you are. But
Speaker 1: but let me ask you, what do you think of
Speaker 1: the Rooney rule, because this lawsuit seems to prove that
Speaker 1: it hasn't worked. The problem with the Rooney rule is
Speaker 1: that it underestimates racial bias. The Rooney rule says, you
Speaker 1: don't like black people, we'll hang out with the one
Speaker 1: and see what happens. But nothing happened. So now it's
Speaker 1: even worse, and you're still hiring the white coach and
Speaker 1: wasting the black man's time, right right, So then let
Speaker 1: me watch to mention that this rule messages with the
Speaker 1: black man's self esteem. He's going on all these interviews
Speaker 1: and doesn't get the job. He's obviously gonna wonder, well,
Speaker 1: is it me? You're getting low self esteem? That's that
Speaker 1: ship starts affecting your whole life. You start having problems
Speaker 1: with intimacy. Your girl asked what's wrong, but you're too
Speaker 1: manly to admit that. When you get older, things don't
Speaker 1: work as good. You know what I'm talking about, Trevor.
Speaker 1: You know exactly what I'm talking about. You've been through
Speaker 1: this ship. You start growing apart. She leaves you. Next
Speaker 1: thing you know, she's dating the white coach because he
Speaker 1: got a good job. Meanwhile, you at home by yourself
Speaker 1: watching pawn. You're not even jernking of while you're watching
Speaker 1: the Point, You're just watching it and eating cheese. I uh,
Speaker 1: I think that went a bit off track, but I
Speaker 1: get what you're saying, Roy You think the Rooney rule
Speaker 1: should be abolished. No, I didn't say that. We just
Speaker 1: got to replace the Rooney rule with the roy Wood
Speaker 1: Junior rule. The Roywood Junior rule, I'm sorry, what is that?
Speaker 1: Oh dog? It's simple. If a team is gonna hire
Speaker 1: a white guy, but they have to interview a black guy.
Speaker 1: The NA should just have to fly me out. But
Speaker 1: that doesn't that waste your time? Man, I ain't got
Speaker 1: nothing going on. Stuff in a stupid ass job, and
Speaker 1: I get to have a fun weekend, get to fly
Speaker 1: first class, get the chill in the hotel with a
Speaker 1: mini bar, hanging out in fun cities, drunk in New Orleans,
Speaker 1: back tattoos in Miami. I m gonna have a good
Speaker 1: ass time. Dog. Well, Roy, I'm looking here and it
Speaker 1: says that one of the first available jobs is gonna
Speaker 1: be in Minnesota, So you want to fly there? You
Speaker 1: want to send a black man to Minnesota in February?
Speaker 1: What part of in racism do you not understand, Trevor.
Speaker 1: My skin wasn't made from type of temperatures letting white
Speaker 1: coaches have in Minnesota. Okay, I thought you wanted to
Speaker 1: jo all right, I guess we'll have to figure something
Speaker 1: else off before we go. Please consider supporting the Loveland Foundation.
Speaker 1: They're an organization dedicated to providing therapy services to underserved communities,
Speaker 1: especially black women and girls. So if you want to
Speaker 1: support them in this work, then please donates at the
Speaker 1: link below What's the daily show weeknights at eleven tent
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Speaker 1: Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast