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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff

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Speaker 1: I never told you protection of iHeartRadio, and today I'm

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Speaker 1: just going to share some personal stuff that was brought

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Speaker 1: on by news item that I found, but also some

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Speaker 1: stuff going on in my life.

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Speaker 2: And it's.

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Speaker 1: Kind of frustrating around like acceptance of the queer community

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Speaker 1: and LGBTQ plus people and your family. So I hear

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Speaker 1: you if you don't want to hear it right now,

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Speaker 1: but I so. So there was this news story that

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Speaker 1: said this place in Michigan had banned Pride flax in public,

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Speaker 1: and here's a quote from the Inn about it. The

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Speaker 1: resolution brought by city council member Mohammed Hassan says that

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Speaker 1: the city council will not provide special treatment to any

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Speaker 1: group of people. City council members shared that flying a

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Speaker 1: Pride flag could potentially lead to other quote radical or

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Speaker 1: racist groups asking for their flags to be flown.

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Speaker 2: So there was that. And then.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you all have seen, but there's been a

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Speaker 1: lot of a lot of the flags at Stonewall.

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Speaker 2: Have been destroyed.

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Speaker 1: So I was thinking about this, but I wasn't, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, going to talk about it really, But then

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Speaker 1: I was talking with my mom, and we am very

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Speaker 1: fortunate to have this beach house that my grandparents built.

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Speaker 2: You've been, Samantha.

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Speaker 1: It's very lovely, yes, yes, but it shared amongst like

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Speaker 1: a lot of people.

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Speaker 2: It's basically.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's got to be fifteen plus people have

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Speaker 1: access to it.

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Speaker 2: And I last two years ago.

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Speaker 1: Two years ago, we were there and I have two

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Speaker 1: friends who I won't say fell in love there, but

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Speaker 1: it was like kind of where their relationship started, their

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Speaker 1: romantic relationships started. They are queer. I've known these women

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Speaker 1: since middle school high school, so we go every year,

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Speaker 1: so I've known them for a very long time, and

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Speaker 1: I remember joking with them that I thought they were

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Speaker 1: the power couple before I even knew what was going.

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Speaker 1: I was like the last one in our friend group

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Speaker 1: to find out because I didn't understand.

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Speaker 2: When one of them told me, she was like I

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Speaker 2: love her, and I was like, yeah, me too, friendship,

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Speaker 2: this is.

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Speaker 3: So on par with everything else in your life, dating, romance,

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Speaker 3: love life, so yeah, absolutely.

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Speaker 1: And then like the next day after she told me

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Speaker 1: that because I just got into a lift.

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Speaker 2: This was back in the days when I like went

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Speaker 2: out to clubs at night and.

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Speaker 1: So I got in the lift she said that, and

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Speaker 1: then I get this text and I was like, we

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Speaker 1: really need to hang out tomorrow again.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, okay, well sure, but they

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Speaker 2: were like, we need to make you understand what really right?

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Speaker 1: Right, So it's like an important place in terms of

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Speaker 1: their relationship. And they had their bachelorette party there. It

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Speaker 1: was very cute, a lot of peach themed items and

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Speaker 1: it was very cute. So two years ago, there's a

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Speaker 1: flagpole out fronts and we flew the Pride flag so

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Speaker 1: they could take pictures, pictures they You know, I didn't

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Speaker 1: really think anything of it, which is perhaps saying something

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Speaker 1: I think I've said before. You know, I'm so used

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Speaker 1: to like my friend group in Atlanta, and like I

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Speaker 1: don't encounter homophobia like in person a lot anymore.

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Speaker 2: Like online, yes, in the news, yes, but like in person.

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Speaker 2: And so.

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Speaker 1: All my friends were sleeping, I was outside alone, just relaxing,

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Speaker 1: and one of my relatives came up to me and

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Speaker 1: he was just acting kind of funny. He was acting

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Speaker 1: kind of weird, and he was like, well, where is

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Speaker 1: everybody else? And I sat out there inside and he

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Speaker 1: was like, what are you doing? Like just relaxing, you

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Speaker 1: know whatever. The next day, seven am, I had a

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Speaker 1: phone call from my mom that's like, you have to

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Speaker 1: take the flag down. And I was so confused, and

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Speaker 1: I was kind disoriented because it was seven am, and

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Speaker 1: I remember kind of hedging about it where it was like,

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Speaker 1: it's not like causing any harms. You know, this is

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Speaker 1: our property and all this stuff. And it was clear

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Speaker 1: my mom was not she was being asked by someone else,

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Speaker 1: and I just didn't have the heart to like tell

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Speaker 1: my friends to take it down, so we left it up.

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Speaker 1: I didn't say anything about it, and it was just

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Speaker 1: strange because then I was looking back over that interaction

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Speaker 1: I had with the relative, and he was it was

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Speaker 1: kind of gross because he was like it felt very

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Speaker 1: like oh like he thought maybe they were all inside

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Speaker 1: having sex or something or like you know, that kind

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Speaker 1: of sexualization, and or he was like angry that now,

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Speaker 1: oh the another attractor to me, this old dude, which

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Speaker 1: is gross. And again this is like, maybe that's not

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Speaker 1: what it was. But he didn't even know what the

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Speaker 1: flag meant. He had to look it up. He had

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Speaker 1: to look it up and then call another relative, who

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Speaker 1: then called my mom. And so that reminded me of

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Speaker 1: your story with your family, Samantha, where you were like,

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Speaker 1: do you even know when pride is?

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Speaker 2: Like he didn't even know what this flag was, right,

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Speaker 2: He was just like I gotta look it up. Okay, no,

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Speaker 2: this has to be angry.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, And it was so sad because, like I said,

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Speaker 1: it's it is it might for my friends, it's an

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Speaker 1: important place and for me it is who I'm also queer.

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Speaker 1: So it was just like an uncomfortable situation. And then

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Speaker 1: so I try to keep it a secret, which I

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Speaker 1: don't know if it is a good thing or the

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Speaker 1: bad thing, I don't know, but I tried to like

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Speaker 1: preserve I can handle this. I can handle my family,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not going to put it on you. So

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Speaker 1: I tried not to tell them anything. The next year,

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Speaker 1: we came and we put up a Star Wars flag

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Speaker 1: because we're that cool, and it was like Obi wan

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Speaker 1: Kenobi had come out like we were living our best

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Speaker 1: Star Wars life, and we got like a lot of

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Speaker 1: people came over and said, oh, basically the flag. I'm

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Speaker 1: glad it's a different flag than the other flag. Everyone

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Speaker 1: was cool with the Star Wars flag.

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Speaker 3: Wait, people actually came over to tell you that, to

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Speaker 3: tell you that they're glad it's not the other.

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Speaker 1: Flag one one person did, and then someone else came

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Speaker 1: over and like, I interpreted what she said as she

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Speaker 1: did not care because my uncle it was My uncle

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Speaker 1: also called the neighbors and asked and they were like, no,

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Speaker 1: we don't care. So that's how I interpreted it. But

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Speaker 1: now I'm not so sure. That's I don't know. But

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Speaker 1: people came up and so the truth had to come

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Speaker 1: out with my friends, where I was like, yes, they

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Speaker 1: were real mad about it.

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Speaker 2: I hate it.

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Speaker 3: So for a full year they didn't know.

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Speaker 1: Yes, your friends that know, yeah, because I didn't want

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Speaker 1: them to feel like how I was feeling after it.

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Speaker 3: And it also says they didn't listen to the show,

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Speaker 3: because I remember we talked about this immediately.

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Speaker 1: After I'll dare you. Yeah, yeah, well they do. Actually

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Speaker 1: one of them does listen to a lot of it, so.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, anyway, anyway, so I had kept it a secret,

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Speaker 1: and then when it came out, I wasn't a big deal.

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Speaker 2: But then I was kind of caught between.

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Speaker 1: This desire to like, let's piss this old guy off

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Speaker 1: as much as we can let's hang up all the flags,

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Speaker 1: and my poor mom's caught in between.

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Speaker 2: So all of that.

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Speaker 1: This other day, my mom called me and it came

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Speaker 1: up and she said, they've requested you only fly the

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Speaker 1: American flag and no other flag, which I don't care,

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Speaker 1: Like honestly, I don't care, And I could like hang

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Speaker 1: up all of the flags alongside, like there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of things I could do, but it was just kind

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Speaker 1: of like, oh my god, it's been two years, Like

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Speaker 1: chill out, just just.

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Speaker 2: Just stop with this.

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Speaker 3: I feel like, like like hearing this from the beginning

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Speaker 3: of the first incident to this, it shows the level

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Speaker 3: of media influence, especially conservative media influence, and where where

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Speaker 3: they're getting their news and how they're dealing with it.

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Speaker 3: So their following suit to the conservative gas lighting of

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Speaker 3: the queer individuals in general, which wasn't not happening as

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Speaker 3: much five years ago. It started happening within the Trump administration,

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Speaker 3: and it got bigger and bigger and bigger, and then

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Speaker 3: went from trance to obviously all queer because we knew

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Speaker 3: that was going to happen now doing all the things.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, it almost is like the perfect timeline of

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Speaker 3: predictor of what's happening in your family.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it does feel like it's backtracking along with what

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Speaker 1: we're seeing in the news because originally there's like three

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Speaker 1: main family members involved in this, and originally it was

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Speaker 1: like two to one on my side, with my mom

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Speaker 1: obviously being on my side. Now it's two to one

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Speaker 1: against me. Although I mean he didn't say anything specific,

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Speaker 1: but I feel like that's a pretty clear, right message.

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Speaker 3: That's especially there's like we have to tell Annie, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that is more than pointed, that is obvious.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, And it was just so infuriating because and

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Speaker 1: I'm sure a lot of listeners can relate to this.

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Speaker 1: I know any listener who's been to a family gathering

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Speaker 1: where you don't agree politically can relate to this. But

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Speaker 1: it's so annoying because there is a part of me

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Speaker 1: that's like, no, I just do what I want, And

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Speaker 1: there's another part of me that's like, is that the

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Speaker 1: fight I want to have?

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Speaker 2: Is that the fight I want to pull my mom into, because.

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Speaker 1: I mean, one of them lives like right there, so

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Speaker 1: it would be I would be dealing with it, which

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Speaker 1: is not what I want on a vagation, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but it makes me feel like then I'm not standing

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Speaker 1: up for stuff.

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Speaker 2: But at the same time, I'm like, we all have

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Speaker 2: to choose these battles.

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Speaker 1: But that's why I'm like, maybe I'll compromise and I'll

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Speaker 1: hang a bunch of them about and not put it

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Speaker 1: on just like black right.

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Speaker 2: Put it on.

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Speaker 3: Get the little little like uh, decorations that go on tables,

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Speaker 3: you know, while people have flags on tables, Yeah, put

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Speaker 3: it all over your little posts.

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Speaker 2: Ye have a little porch, just put it there. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And it's also like it's just frustrated because you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to pull my friends into it. I

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Speaker 1: don't want them to get dragged into my family drama,

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Speaker 1: even though I'm sure they have all dealt with it too.

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Speaker 2: So I don't know. I was just like reading this

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Speaker 2: news and then my mom.

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Speaker 1: Said that, and I was like, jeez, it really has

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Speaker 1: become a lot a lot worse.

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Speaker 2: I do agree with you, but I'm gonna come up

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Speaker 2: with something. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

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Speaker 3: I'm excited to hear what you come up with.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I will.

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Speaker 1: And it is it's like the fact that he didn't

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Speaker 1: even know what it was. That's oh my god. All right, Well,

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Speaker 1: I'll report back.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure, because we're going in July. Yes.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's also I'm really annoyed too because they were like,

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Speaker 1: that's what your grandfather would have wanted, only the American flag,

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Speaker 1: and it's like, okay, bring him into this.

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Speaker 3: Indicate what the American flag is today. It's almost more

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Speaker 3: fearful for me to see than anything else. It almost

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Speaker 3: translates into the opposite of what a pride fly would be. Right.

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Speaker 1: It does feel like the people who would proudly be

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Speaker 1: flying it, and I'm not saying you can't, but it

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Speaker 1: feels like a lot of the people who are are

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Speaker 1: probably people I won't agree with a little lot of things, right, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: which is a really unfortunate, unfortunate thing, but yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: So we'll see what happens. I will come back listeners.

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Speaker 1: If you have any thoughts suggestions on how to deal

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Speaker 1: with this, are ways I can like.

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Speaker 2: And make a statement, but not fly a flag a pole.

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Speaker 2: Please write in.

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Speaker 1: You can email us at Sepania mom Stuff at iHeartMedia

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Speaker 1: dot com. You can find us on Twitter at Momstup podcast,

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Speaker 1: or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff wh Never told you.

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Speaker 1: We're also on YouTube.

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Speaker 3: Uh.

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Speaker 2: We also have a tea public store. Yes, we also

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Speaker 2: have a book.

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Speaker 1: You can pre or order it at stuff you Should

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Speaker 1: Read books dot com.

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Speaker 2: Also on Audible dangs.

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Speaker 1: As always to our super producer Christina, our executive producer,

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Speaker 1: and our contributor Joey.

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Speaker 2: Thank y'all, yes, and thanks to you for listening. Stuff

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Speaker 2: I Never told you. Use the production by Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, you can check

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Speaker 1: out the ir radio app Apple podcast Regular listen to

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Speaker 1: your favorite shows