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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Smantha and alcome stuff and

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Speaker 1: I ever told you a Protection of iHeart Radio.

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Speaker 2: And for today we are bringing.

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Speaker 1: Back a classic that we did after we did our

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Speaker 1: audio book, which is still an experience I'm processing in

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Speaker 1: some ways, but in this specific episode, I was talking

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Speaker 1: about the experience of coming out as gay to people

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Speaker 1: you've never met and what that's like.

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Speaker 2: Am I continuing series on queerbating.

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Speaker 1: And what it's like, So please enjoy this classic episode.

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Speaker 2: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff.

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Speaker 1: Wman never told you Protection of iHeart Radio, and welcome

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Speaker 1: to another edition of Half Hour. As always, drink responsibly, listen, responsibly,

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Speaker 1: do everything responsibly if you choose to do any of

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Speaker 1: those things. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, what are you

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Speaker 1: sitting on, Samantha.

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Speaker 3: I am drinking bubbly water once again this time we

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Speaker 3: so my partner works events and sometimes from those events

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Speaker 3: he gets like extras that are left behind by talent,

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Speaker 3: and they left behind watermelon flavor bubbly pretty good?

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Speaker 2: Oh nice? Yes, yeah, that.

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Speaker 4: Might be a new flavor I'll have to venture out.

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Speaker 1: To, especially if you're pineapple going away still very sad?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I'm sad for you, what about you?

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Speaker 1: I am sitting on a light beer that shall remain nameless.

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Speaker 1: But it is interesting because in this happy hour, I

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Speaker 1: kind of wanted to talk about our recent experience recording

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Speaker 1: the audiobook, but also kind of some like queer updates

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Speaker 1: with me because it's a Pride Month happy hour, but like, I.

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Speaker 2: Don't normally have beer on hand.

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Speaker 1: Mostly because I walked to the store and it's heavy

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Speaker 1: to carry, so I don't normally have it. But we

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Speaker 1: had such a busy, stressful week recording this audio book

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Speaker 1: that a good friend of mine, Katie, who's been on

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Speaker 1: the show, dropped off my favorite light beer outside of

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Speaker 1: my door because I was like, I'm too tired to

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Speaker 1: do I've done. It was very kind, so I'm enjoying that.

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Speaker 1: But it's also funny that you mentioned kind of the

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Speaker 1: bubbly water because a past sponsor, not current sponsor, I

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Speaker 1: don't believe hints, sent us a ridiculous amount of product

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Speaker 1: to be frank.

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Speaker 4: Very generous.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, sorry, yes, But Samantha and I, as we've

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Speaker 5: talked about, we were so nervous about recording this audiobook

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Speaker 5: and we were so lucky and I'm going to talk

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Speaker 5: about it more in a second.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure Samantha you have thoughts about it too.

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Speaker 1: But we were so lucky with the team we had,

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Speaker 1: who were both women, were very kind and held our hands.

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Speaker 1: We were clearly panicking, yes, but Alicia. So the team

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Speaker 1: was Alicia and Mala. Alicia who was sort of like

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Speaker 1: the voice in our ear making sure we everything her

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Speaker 1: acts that we were hitting, like the emotional notes are

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Speaker 1: just being clear. She sent out this advice beforehand, and

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Speaker 1: it was like, where's stuff that doesn't rustle?

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Speaker 2: And eat a green apple?

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Speaker 1: Green apple is a good snack and hydrate, including the

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Speaker 1: day before. So Samantha and I took it very seriously.

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Speaker 1: So the weekend before, I was like, I'm staying in

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Speaker 1: and I'm drinking water, and that's right. But then I

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Speaker 1: showed up each day and you made fun of me,

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Speaker 1: and everyone made fun of me because I came in

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Speaker 1: with this bag of hit water.

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Speaker 4: Okay, it wasn't because you came in with a bag.

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Speaker 3: And we're talking. There were four to five bottles. There

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Speaker 3: was more than water, Okay, five, and then there was

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Speaker 3: like four maybe it was like three to four head

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Speaker 3: waters which you had, and then three personal bottles of

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Speaker 3: water which you had. And we were only there for

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Speaker 3: literally five hours or five and a half hours, with

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Speaker 3: an hour break between for lunch. And also they have

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Speaker 3: a fully equipped kitchen.

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Speaker 2: I went through them all though.

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Speaker 4: I know you did. It was quite funny. I'm like,

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Speaker 4: you know they have water and items here, right.

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Speaker 2: It was.

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Speaker 1: It was pretty hilarious because I came in and they're

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Speaker 1: just this huge bag and can hear all this like

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Speaker 1: water sloshing about it, and you're struggling at the door

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Speaker 1: to keep it open, like it even open.

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Speaker 3: To be fair, the door was complicated because I had

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Speaker 3: it locked and you had to be like completely in

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Speaker 3: the perfect position for unlocked, but still you was like,

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Speaker 3: what is wrong with her? As you're leaning sideways.

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Speaker 1: I took the instructions very seriously and never said.

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Speaker 4: To bring your own water or you might die, like.

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Speaker 1: It said hydrate and who knows, I was just being fired.

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Speaker 1: But I went through a lot of water and it

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Speaker 1: was kind of comical because you could there was like

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Speaker 1: a trail of.

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Speaker 2: If you looked in the trash.

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Speaker 1: Candy'd be like, oh, Annie's been here, because there's a

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Speaker 1: tree of these bottles.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Again, currently not a sponsor I don't think they said

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Speaker 1: us a lot of stuff.

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Speaker 3: Still, you know, I still have some too, because that's

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Speaker 3: following two days. I did bring one bottle per day

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Speaker 3: because the part of that advice was no, I don't

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Speaker 3: think it was her advice. I was looking up advice

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Speaker 3: about vocal stuff and it said don't drink cold water,

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Speaker 3: don't drink ice water. And all of my water happened

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Speaker 3: to being the refrigerator and very cold, and then I

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Speaker 3: had remnants of the heat water and I wouldn't that

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Speaker 3: was at room temperature, so I wouldn't grab them. So

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Speaker 3: I had it there too, and I did drink them

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Speaker 3: while I was there. We also provided tea, which you

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Speaker 3: had an incident with the tea, because yes, you have

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Speaker 3: found that you are actually allergic to all tea's.

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Speaker 2: Uh, something that is going on.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it's an allergy, but something definitely

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Speaker 1: happens to me after I drink tea.

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Speaker 4: It's not time at the most inopportunity moment.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, but.

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Speaker 1: I did want to talk about our experience with that

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Speaker 1: briefly just because and I think we'll come back and

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Speaker 1: do a more in depth thing. But we were so

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Speaker 1: nervous about it, and I'm still feeling the both exhaustion,

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Speaker 1: but also it was a very different experience from podcasting.

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Speaker 2: It really was.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't seem like it would be maybe at first glance,

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Speaker 1: but like having someone in your ear kind of correcting

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Speaker 1: you and directing you, having kind of this like really

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Speaker 1: piece by piece, like where's this going to fit? How

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Speaker 1: is this going to sound? All of that happening. So

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Speaker 1: I'm kind of discombobulated, to be honest, to just have

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Speaker 1: this conversation with you.

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Speaker 3: Right, you had to actually do a recording by yourself

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Speaker 3: last week, which many listeners may have already heard. Because

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Speaker 3: I was like, oh, yeah, I'll be fine, let's we'll

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Speaker 3: do it after this and.

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Speaker 4: I came in.

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Speaker 3: I was like I can't do it. I can't do it.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, and You're like, oh god, I've got it.

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Speaker 3: And I felt bad because you'd already had your two

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Speaker 3: days of really stress and this was the first day

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Speaker 3: that you'd had to rest and I was like the

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Speaker 3: first my first day, and I was like, m nope, nope,

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Speaker 3: can't do it.

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Speaker 6: Bye.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, it was such an odd experience, and so

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Speaker 3: we hadn't recorded together since we did the audio recording

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Speaker 3: so doing our first episode, it felt off. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: oh no, it just felt so disconnected and it felt

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Speaker 3: like I had we had recorded an episode like years ago,

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Speaker 3: when in actuality it was last what Monday or something.

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Speaker 3: I was just like, wow, Wow, this is I am

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Speaker 3: really turned around right now?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it so we did one day together and

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Speaker 1: then two days each separately, but it was it was

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Speaker 1: it's hard to adjust to that, and I feel like

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Speaker 1: the first day I did it by myself was pretty rough,

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Speaker 1: and the second day I kind of got my groove

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Speaker 1: and then now I'm having to like readjust me.

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Speaker 2: To this, which is odd.

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Speaker 1: But it was yeah, like you said, like five hour days,

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Speaker 1: And I did think it was cute because they were

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Speaker 1: both at The people we worked with were like, oh

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Speaker 1: you're friends, been friends.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Yes, I went and grabbed her for lunch. I mean,

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Speaker 3: and you were recording because I live very close to

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Speaker 3: the studio. Also have a car that I drive and

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Speaker 3: don't mind driving, but yes, I live very close to there,

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Speaker 3: and so I would grab you for lunch. Also because

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Speaker 3: you were your chapters peak behind a little preview of

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Speaker 3: the books. I feel like we're definitely a lot more

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Speaker 3: personal than mine. There was a few that I did

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Speaker 3: put personal bits, but it wasn't like I wasn't relaying

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Speaker 3: really vulnerable experiences.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, so I was like, yeah, I'll definitely come

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Speaker 4: in and hang with you and I just watch you

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Speaker 4: not eat.

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Speaker 2: I would eat just like just a portions are so huge.

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Speaker 4: Well, also you don't eat a lot of lunch.

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Speaker 3: You're also stressed out and you're trying to like kind

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Speaker 3: of gain your composure back for the next read.

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Speaker 4: So that was completely understandable. But yeah, it was.

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Speaker 3: It was funny because they were like, any gonna come

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Speaker 3: get you, and I was like, actually, I'm just going home.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna go see my dog.

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Speaker 2: I love that, you said. Though, yeah, yeah, I know

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Speaker 2: it was. It was nice.

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Speaker 1: But one of the reasons, I just really want to

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Speaker 1: hammer that home. I've never had this experience before personally,

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Speaker 1: or if I I have, but on a really light scale.

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Speaker 1: But I know previous host Bridgett and Emily would rent

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Speaker 1: a studio to record together, and they'd rent it like

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Speaker 1: once a month and do these really arm recordings, and

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Speaker 1: I heard some horror stories about it about it being

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Speaker 1: a man and after they were done with their topics,

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Speaker 1: him having some opinions. Oh no about like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't think we need feminism. I think it's like

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Speaker 1: drawing too much attention to things and all of this stuff.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 6: So it could have gone that way, it could have

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Speaker 6: easily and it didn't, And I'm glad. I mean one

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Speaker 6: would hope and think that if people behind who knew

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Speaker 6: that this what this book was about, they would try

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Speaker 6: to not right, but.

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Speaker 3: You never know, you never know, uh, I mean we

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Speaker 3: definitely when we started this process they didn't think that way.

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Speaker 3: Let's true. We had to like, we can't do that,

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Speaker 3: this is a feminist book doing you know, like literally

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Speaker 3: having to put in why a feminist book has to

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Speaker 3: remain feminist even behind the scene, and you know, so,

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Speaker 3: I mean yeah, we definitely encountered it from jump and

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Speaker 3: then had to do a lot of fixing it like no,

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Speaker 3: this is not going to work, and people be like,

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Speaker 3: oh okay, but at the same time also trying not

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Speaker 3: to give it to us.

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Speaker 1: It was right, like it wasn't a big deal, and

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Speaker 1: we're like, right, kind of is it is just us?

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Speaker 4: It is.

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Speaker 2: All involved. It will be better you just justice on

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Speaker 2: this one.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, But a part of that was so as you

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Speaker 1: were saying, there are some pretty vulnerable moments in the book,

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Speaker 1: and I ended up crying pretty hard twice.

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Speaker 2: Twice.

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Speaker 1: I got some hugs, yes, I got some warm water

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Speaker 1: and tea. I got a lot of tea, kind words.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know how it would have gone if

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Speaker 1: I hadn't had women when I was being that open

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Speaker 1: about these things. But one of the things that surprised

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Speaker 1: me was I cried during my coming out chapter, or

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Speaker 1: I sort of just it was.

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Speaker 2: It's it's not like I think I didn't think I.

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Speaker 1: Was gonna cry, because there's nothing in there that's very

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Speaker 1: you know, just on paper, sounds very heartbreaking or anything.

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Speaker 1: It's sad at some points, but it's not like, oh God,

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Speaker 1: what a horrible experience you've lived. But I never I

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Speaker 1: even though I've come out on this show to a

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Speaker 1: bunch of people I don't know, I'd never come out

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Speaker 1: to people I don't know in person or like while

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Speaker 1: they were there and could react, I guess, and I

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Speaker 1: started crying, and I especially like on the parts about

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Speaker 1: like feeling so lonely and feeling like something is wrong

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Speaker 1: with you, and I just I don't think I've ever

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Speaker 1: said it because it's those sections are written to be very.

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Speaker 2: Like journal kind of diary entry.

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Speaker 1: And I know I've talked about it on here before,

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Speaker 1: but as we've said, we foolishly, at least I foolishly,

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Speaker 1: never thought we would be doing an audiobook.

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Speaker 3: It didn't come into my head either, didn't until we

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Speaker 3: got that email saying, Hi, we're so excited to work

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Speaker 3: with you, and we're like, what, wait, what is this?

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Speaker 4: What is this? This end?

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Speaker 1: I am very happy, like I want it to be accessible,

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Speaker 1: as accessible as it can be, but yeah, it never

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Speaker 1: ever occurred to me and you and I joked like

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Speaker 1: there are things I would have done differently had I

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Speaker 1: noted I would have to read it.

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Speaker 3: It also is like the very because we went through

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Speaker 3: several editing processes. Obviously, when I would write something, our

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Speaker 3: amazing writer editor Jane, who we hoped to have on

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Speaker 3: the show, would come in and make it sound intelligible

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Speaker 3: because I would rant, as you know, and I'd just

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Speaker 3: keep going. Which was one of the critiques, not critiques,

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Speaker 3: but one of the comments and observations I got was

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Speaker 3: you write long sentences.

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Speaker 4: I was like, yes, I do.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, but the fact is, oh, I was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I definitely didn't write that word. I don't even know

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Speaker 3: what that means. Someone pronounced this for me. That is

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Speaker 3: definitely not my phrase. I did not say it that way.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so those.

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Speaker 7: Moments are like oh oh right, yeah, and again like

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Speaker 7: I know you and I have read it several times,

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Speaker 7: but it's just saying something about and reading it.

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Speaker 3: Is it is also Yeah, just like I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 3: not an actor, right, Oh, I'm not a trained professional

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Speaker 3: in this, which, by the way, we do have an actor.

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Speaker 4: I'm very excited for her to be a part of it.

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Speaker 3: I am too, but yeah, but like, like, how do

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Speaker 3: I make this sound interesting, right, instead of like me

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Speaker 3: just bumbling through?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? And I think too, like we never thought we

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Speaker 1: have a book, and so it was strange to be

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Speaker 1: in a space where you could see like past people

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Speaker 1: they had, yes, and feel a little intimidated by very

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Speaker 1: Oh so you work with them?

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Speaker 3: Ye?

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Speaker 1: Yes, And I'm proud of what we did and I

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Speaker 1: don't want to make it sound like i'm not, but

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Speaker 1: I think we can all relate to that feeling of

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Speaker 1: I've never done this before and I'm sharing the same

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Speaker 1: space as this person who was really good and I

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Speaker 1: know is really good. So there was that going on

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Speaker 1: for sure. There was an element of very much for

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Speaker 1: me getting in my head where I would take their

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Speaker 1: advice so seriously and then I would get so caught

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Speaker 1: up about how I sounded. But it was like it

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Speaker 1: was a very intimate, for lack of a better word, environment,

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Speaker 1: and I'm just sharing this story that it's like me

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Speaker 1: coming out, and I just started crying, to my surprise,

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Speaker 1: and I thought, I feel since over the years, I

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Speaker 1: feel much more settled in my identity. I feel very

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Speaker 1: happy with it, which I do talk about in the

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Speaker 1: book as well. So it surprised me. But I think

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Speaker 1: I just hadn't realized how much I've internalized, like people

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Speaker 1: might reject you. Maybe it's not safe to do this

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Speaker 1: because at that point I didn't know. I knew they

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Speaker 1: were women, but I didn't know for sure. But they

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Speaker 1: were amazing and awesome, and one of them talked about

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Speaker 1: her coming out story and how important it is to

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Speaker 1: hear things like this, and we related about you know,

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Speaker 1: I didn't even know this was a thing, and I

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Speaker 1: wish I had known that it was a thing when

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Speaker 1: I was so much younger. So it was a really

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Speaker 1: great experience, Like I don't think I could have asked

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Speaker 1: for anything better than that, but it was kind of

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Speaker 1: eye opening for me about Okay, it still makes me nervous.

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Speaker 1: I'm still not totally comfortable, which makes sense. I didn't

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Speaker 1: know who they were, even as nice as they were. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I didn't know them. But it's also this is a

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Speaker 1: book in an audiobook, and now, for some reason, as

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Speaker 1: we've discussed, that feels much more permanent than when we

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Speaker 1: talk on the podcasts.

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Speaker 3: Right by the way, it's already being advertised on audible.

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Speaker 3: Oh really, yeah, I found it today, don't give me.

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Speaker 3: I was looking at something else and it was already

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Speaker 3: up and I was like, oh, reorder so you can

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Speaker 3: pre order the audio.

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Speaker 4: And we haven't even finished it.

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Speaker 2: We have it, and we have to go back and

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Speaker 2: do pickups.

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Speaker 1: And I'm worried because I'm worried I'm gonna have to

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Speaker 1: do pickups for like the times I was crying.

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Speaker 4: I didn't even think about that.

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Speaker 2: Yes, oh I did.

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Speaker 4: I definitely have to go back for like rename it.

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Speaker 3: Things like the hard to pronounce we do talk about

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Speaker 3: First Nations and indigenous people, and I was like, oh no,

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Speaker 3: I'm in trouble.

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Speaker 1: I wish we had their technology. They had a whole

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Speaker 1: technology that scans a document and tells you, oh, this

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Speaker 1: might be a word you want to look up.

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Speaker 4: Oh really, Yeah, they didn't know how to say it either.

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Speaker 4: I found it well. It was still difficult.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it was.

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Speaker 1: Cool though, because they had a whole process for figuring

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Speaker 1: out how to pronounce things, including calling their friends in

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Speaker 1: different countries. It was very deat right, Yes, But on

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Speaker 1: top of that, I realized I had this beautiful conversation

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Speaker 1: about coming out, and it was so nice and like

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Speaker 1: this kind of connecting, you know, all of this stuff.

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Speaker 1: But then I also realized that I'm still really afraid,

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Speaker 1: and rightfully so, I think in some ways of getting

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Speaker 1: stuff wrong when it comes to LGBTQ plus, which is

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Speaker 1: something I kept tripping upon that I had to say

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Speaker 1: a million times, just terminology, and it's a part of

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Speaker 1: it is so much of it is in flux, and

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Speaker 1: so much of it is being discussed and is changing.

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Speaker 1: But I had a lot of anxiety about the Monday

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Speaker 1: many I did by myself, which was just a strict

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Speaker 1: history of the terminology. So I'm still struggling with that,

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Speaker 1: and I still, you know, I'm a cis white, straight

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Speaker 1: passing person, and so I think I felt it's always

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Speaker 1: good to keep things in context, but I think I

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Speaker 1: felt like when I was having this emotion that I

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Speaker 1: shouldn't be having it because I really haven't suffered that much.

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Speaker 1: And like I said, I think it's important to keep

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Speaker 1: things in context. But it was also like, I don't

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Speaker 1: think I ever grappled with just how lonely.

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Speaker 2: I felt, So.

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Speaker 1: It was interesting. It was interesting, but I do hope

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Speaker 1: that it will help people, anyone who listens. I feel

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Speaker 1: like me didn't know that that terminology, didn't know that

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Speaker 1: was a thing, even though that's like what was going on.

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Speaker 2: I do hope it will help I'm sure somebody.

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Speaker 1: And then I've also been thinking about this too, And

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Speaker 1: this is just a quick I've only been thinking about

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Speaker 1: it and will wrap up. But I've been thinking about

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Speaker 1: a couple of you have written in asking for resources,

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Speaker 1: because you you'll be talking to people who don't know

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Speaker 1: about a lot of queer terminology. They don't know that

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Speaker 1: there's like a romantic spectrum on top of a sexual spectrum, and.

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Speaker 2: That got me thinking, like I.

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Speaker 1: About the how we say love is love, which I'm

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Speaker 1: all about, but it's also like, should be able to

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Speaker 1: have consensual sex with whoever you want to.

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Speaker 2: I'm all for lovers love, but also you know.

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Speaker 1: But that being said, if anyone does have really great resources,

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Speaker 1: I usually go to the Trevor Project. That they don't,

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Speaker 1: at least as far as I saw, don't have a

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Speaker 1: great breakdown of the romantic versus sexual spectrum. They do

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Speaker 1: have a really great breakdown of a gender identity. But

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Speaker 1: if you have any resources, we would love to shout

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Speaker 1: them out, So please send those our way. Cheers, Samantha,

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Speaker 1: we did it.

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Speaker 4: We're part way through it, most of the way through it.

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Speaker 2: Cheers. We're more than halfway there. Ers.

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Speaker 1: Yes, If you would like to contact us, you can

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Speaker 1: our emails Stephanie mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You

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Speaker 1: can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast, or

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Speaker 1: on Instagram and TikTok at stuff I've Never Told You.

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Speaker 1: You can also find us on YouTube. We have a

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Speaker 1: tea public store. You have new stuff on there. You

400
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,399
Speaker 1: should check it out. We do have a book that

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00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 1: you can pre order at stuff. You should read books

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00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 1: dot com. Apparently we also have an audible book you

403
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,080
Speaker 1: can already pre orders, so check that out. It's gonna

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Speaker 1: be cool, it's gonna have like narration by an actor.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be awesome. Yes, Thanks as always to our

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Speaker 1: super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey.

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Speaker 1: Thank you and thanks to you for listening stuff I

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00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,959
Speaker 1: never told you the protection of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts

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00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:35,440
Speaker 1: on my heart Radio, you can check out the iHeart

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00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:47,480
Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or regular listen to your favorite shows.