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Speaker 1: Double Elvis. Blood on the tracks is a production of

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Speaker 1: I heart radio and Double Elvis. Brian Wilson was a

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Speaker 1: musical genius and one of the greatest songwriters of all time.

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Speaker 1: He caught melodies like they were waves. He bottled good

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Speaker 1: vibrations like no one else, and he picked up bad

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Speaker 1: vibrations too. He broke down, he tripped hard. He didn't

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Speaker 1: just hear music, he heard voices. He tried to lose

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Speaker 1: those voices by making a teenage symphony to God called smile,

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Speaker 1: but somewhere along the way Brian Wilson lost his mind instead.

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Speaker 1: This is his story. Okay, here we go again. It's

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Speaker 1: Rhonda Masson, still working my way through the Sea of

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Speaker 1: Brian Wilson's home tapes. When I first started this task,

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Speaker 1: I assumed there would only be a few tapes from

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Speaker 1: Brian at home, but he recorded so much during that time.

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Speaker 1: Like I said before, these can get a little bleak

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Speaker 1: at times. Brian doesn't make too much sense. There seems

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Speaker 1: to be a lot of drugs consumed around the recording

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Speaker 1: of some of these. There's one in particular I've been

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Speaker 1: listening to recently which seems to be a demo for

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Speaker 1: the song sale on sailor. Have a listen. Hi, Van Dyke,

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Speaker 1: I hope everyone at Warner Brothers likes this demo for

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Speaker 1: sale on sailor. Sorry it's so late. You know, this

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Speaker 1: took me a while and I know it's not finished.

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Speaker 1: We can work on that when we meet up. You know,

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Speaker 1: I have been feeling like myself recently. To be honest,

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Speaker 1: I haven't been doing so greavy. I feel like the

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Speaker 1: band is slipping away from me. I feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: slipping away from myself. I used to be so confident,

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Speaker 1: so confident in the studio, but those days are gone.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if that will ever come back. I pray,

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Speaker 1: I pray, I pray it does. Sorry, I'm rambling. Forgive me.

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Speaker 1: I hope you like the demo. I hope it's good enough.

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Speaker 1: I hope it's not just more blood on the tracks.

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Speaker 1: Chapter Seven. Brian Wilson is sailing on. H here's your

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Speaker 1: time report on B R I. A N F M.

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Speaker 1: Look a little choppy out there. It's a little breezy

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Speaker 1: in the air. The Ocean is unsettled with reports of thunderstorms.

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Speaker 1: But do sail on. I'm back in here. I'm always

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Speaker 1: in here. I've been in my head for years here,

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Speaker 1: along with all those other voices. The most time I

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Speaker 1: spent in here was in the early nineteen seventies my dad.

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Speaker 1: My Dad, died in seventy three. He had been in

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Speaker 1: the hospital and he seemed serious about changing his life

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Speaker 1: and living healthy. I even thought he might change as

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Speaker 1: a person. I thought perhaps our relationship would change, perhaps

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Speaker 1: we could repair what had been broken. He was terrible

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Speaker 1: to me, but I was bad to him in return.

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Speaker 1: You know. You know I haven't been feeling like myself recently.

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Speaker 1: I thought that time might bring us closer, but time, well,

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Speaker 1: time has a habit of making fools of men. Soon

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Speaker 1: after he left the hospital, he suffered a sudden massive

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Speaker 1: heart attack June four. I'll always remember that day. My

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Speaker 1: mom was with him at the time and managed to

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Speaker 1: call an ambulance, but it was already too late. I

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Speaker 1: couldn't bear the funeral. Dennis stayed home too. He played

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Speaker 1: the piano, apparently. I went to New York with my wife, Marilyn,

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Speaker 1: who was promoting an album she'd made with her group spring.

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Speaker 1: We'd gone to a radio station in New York called

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Speaker 1: W N E WFM, and Pete Fomatale, one of their djs,

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Speaker 1: who had always been supportive of the beach boys. He

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Speaker 1: was working there Maryland was being interviewed in the next room,

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Speaker 1: so I went to see Pete in his studio. I've

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Speaker 1: always loved radio, the excitement of it. It's always live.

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Speaker 1: I've always going on and on. It reminds me of

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Speaker 1: my brain. It never stops broadcasting. There's never any dead air. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: I'm rambling. That day I was a little out of sorts.

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Speaker 1: The News of my dad had I don't know, it

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Speaker 1: was all that was on my mind. It was all

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Speaker 1: that I could think about. To be honest, I haven't

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Speaker 1: been doing so gravy. I walked into the studio and

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Speaker 1: Pete ran up to me with his headphone still around

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Speaker 1: his neck, still plugged into the desk, that long cord

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Speaker 1: snaking around the room. What are you doing here, Brian,

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Speaker 1: he asked. My mind went blank. I didn't know who

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Speaker 1: I really was for a second. It was like I

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Speaker 1: was standing inside someone else, like the person I was

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Speaker 1: was a stranger to me, like I'm sleeping away from

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Speaker 1: my cell. I honestly couldn't remember. I said something like

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm here for the Ed Sullivan Show. He looked

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Speaker 1: at me strangely. Brian, he said, but that show has

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Speaker 1: been canceled for two years. I laughed, but Pete just

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Speaker 1: stood there. He looks so sad. I felt like I

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Speaker 1: had vertigo. I honestly felt like in the space of minutes,

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Speaker 1: I had forgotten who I was or what I was

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Speaker 1: doing there. It was the strangest feeling. I burst out

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Speaker 1: of the room and I threw up in the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: I remember looking at myself in the mirror afterwards and

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Speaker 1: I don't know, the person standing in front of me

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Speaker 1: looks so different from the person I was in my mind.

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Speaker 1: I haven't been feeling like myself. As I stared at myself,

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Speaker 1: I heard the radio station start to play a song

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Speaker 1: I recognized. Slowly I realized it was a beach boys song,

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Speaker 1: a song called sale on sailor. Even though we'd only

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Speaker 1: recorded it six months before, it felt like a decade

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Speaker 1: or more had passed since we were in the studio

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Speaker 1: with it. I used to be so confident, so confident

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Speaker 1: in the studio. It was a song got me back

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Speaker 1: with Van Dyke Parks. I think everyone thought we'd conceive

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Speaker 1: a new smile, but it didn't quite work like that.

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Speaker 1: Van Dyke came over to my house and asked if

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Speaker 1: we could write something together. The record company, which he

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Speaker 1: now worked for, by the way, wanted me on the

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Speaker 1: new beach boys album. They were getting ready. I was

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Speaker 1: lying in bed with the TV just playing static. Van

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Speaker 1: Dyke was next to me. I want you to sit

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Speaker 1: down at the piano and I want you to write

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Speaker 1: a song for me, he said. Lyrics, melody, everything. I

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Speaker 1: want you to do it right on the spot. This

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Speaker 1: took me a while. He smiled. I was kind of

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Speaker 1: happy that someone wanted me to do something like that,

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Speaker 1: but I couldn't sum up the motivation. I do anything

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Speaker 1: for you, man, but would you do something for me?

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Speaker 1: I asked him. I'd do anything for you, Brian, he replied.

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Speaker 1: I started to get very emotional. I could feel my

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Speaker 1: throat clothes up in my eyes start to water. You

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Speaker 1: got to convince me, Van Dyke, I said. Convince me

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Speaker 1: that I'm not insane. Please hypnotize me into thinking that

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Speaker 1: I'm not insane. I haven't been feeling like myself recently.

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Speaker 1: I was being serious, but he didn't understand. He told

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Speaker 1: me to cut the ship. Forgive me. We wrote it

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Speaker 1: of course. We spent a couple of days getting it

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Speaker 1: right and then I demoed the thing and it made

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Speaker 1: it onto the album. As I listened to it while

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Speaker 1: standing in the toilets at W N E WFM, looking

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Speaker 1: into the mirror, I struggled to process the song. Who

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Speaker 1: wrote it? Who Sang it? I don't know, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Suddenly Marilyn banged on the door and

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Speaker 1: asked if I was okay. Sure, I shouted back. I

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Speaker 1: washed my hands and wiped my mouth. When I came out,

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Speaker 1: Pete was standing with her. He pointed to the speaker

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Speaker 1: that was still blasting out sail on sailor and said

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Speaker 1: good song. Se I was just thinking that. I told

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Speaker 1: him WHO's it? Bye. He laughed, but I didn't get

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Speaker 1: the joke. Good Morning, Sunshine, B R I A N

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Speaker 1: F bounty. It's another sunny day here in Bam Bruggie

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Speaker 1: and it will stay that way. So sail on sailor,

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Speaker 1: sale on sailor. They got me to do that for

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Speaker 1: the money. It's always about the money. Capital spent so

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Speaker 1: much money a new beach boys album called Holland, around

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Speaker 1: a quarter of a million dollars. That's a lot of

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Speaker 1: money now, but back then it was a fortune. I

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Speaker 1: hope it's good enough. The record company needed a return

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Speaker 1: on their investments, so they wanted to hit single. Hit

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Speaker 1: singles helped sell albums, and that's why they sent Van

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Speaker 1: Dyke over. They wanted me to rustle up a little

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Speaker 1: good vibrations or a fun, fun, fun like. I had

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Speaker 1: those sort of songs ready to go like a TV

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Speaker 1: dinner ready in three minutes. Sale on sailors. It's not

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Speaker 1: a song I care for. I mean, how can it be?

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Speaker 1: became not from a place of creativity but from a

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Speaker 1: place of business. Gone recording the album wasn't much better.

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Speaker 1: We were due to cut it in that's right, in Holland.

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Speaker 1: We went to a place called Bam Brugie. I wasn't

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Speaker 1: all that interested in recording. I thought I might be,

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Speaker 1: but it was just like being in L A. I

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Speaker 1: couldn't get into the right head space for it. I

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Speaker 1: was just lost, like the band is slipping away from me.

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Speaker 1: I used to just sit all day in this villa

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Speaker 1: we rented, just sit and look at the countryside. I

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Speaker 1: found it calming but also sort of numbing, just staring

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Speaker 1: at this landscape which didn't change felt like it was protective,

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Speaker 1: like nothing happened, therefore nothing could hurt me. It was

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Speaker 1: good for me, but it also made me not want

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Speaker 1: to do anything. I was taking a lot of drugs.

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Speaker 1: There too. I'd wake up and Snore the line and

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Speaker 1: just sit there as it fizzed in my nostrils. I

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Speaker 1: repeated that hour after hour, with different drugs. One day

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Speaker 1: I felt that I needed to snap out of it.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I'll go to the studio, I thought. Studio, but

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Speaker 1: I opted to drive around the countryside I'd spent days

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Speaker 1: staring at. I took a huge bag of coke with me,

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Speaker 1: at it safely into the inside pocket of my jacket

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Speaker 1: and patted it like it was my child. I haven't

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Speaker 1: been feeling like myself. I jumped into the huge Mercedes

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Speaker 1: I rented and sat in the driver's seat ready to go,

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Speaker 1: but something was missing. A little bump. I thought that

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Speaker 1: was it. I pulled out the bag of coke from

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Speaker 1: my jacket, wrapped up a line on the Dash. Up

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Speaker 1: it went. The fizzing was back. I started the engine

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Speaker 1: and through the car into gear. But wait, another little

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Speaker 1: line might be in order. So that's what I did.

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Speaker 1: The next thing I remember is cutting through the Dutch countryside.

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Speaker 1: There were beautiful trees and flowers everywhere. It was hot,

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Speaker 1: but not too hot, not like L A. I pushed

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Speaker 1: down on the accelerator hard. The car felt so powerful.

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Speaker 1: Pounded the pavement. The steering wheel felt sturdy. I felt

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Speaker 1: a control for the first time. I used to be

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Speaker 1: so confident. I flicked the radio on and those familiar

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Speaker 1: notes sang back at me. Be My baby. I couldn't

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Speaker 1: believe it. I was halfway around the world and this

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Speaker 1: song was still there, soundtracking my every moment. I turned

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Speaker 1: it up as loud as possible and sang along from

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Speaker 1: start to finish. As the final note rang out and

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Speaker 1: DJ started talking, before I knew it, the voice had

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Speaker 1: morphed from Dutch to English right then and there. I

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Speaker 1: looked down at the radio. I couldn't understand what was

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Speaker 1: going on, and then I heard it, the voice of

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Speaker 1: Phil Specter. Sail on, sailor, but the hell is that?

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Speaker 1: Let me remind you, you never reach the highs of me,

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Speaker 1: my baby, and you never will. I slammed on the

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Speaker 1: car's brakes and skidded to the side of the road.

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Speaker 1: I was trying to catch my breath. The DJ was

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Speaker 1: back to speaking in Dutch, introducing some Song I've never

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Speaker 1: heard before. I pulled out the bag of coke, my

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Speaker 1: hands trembling, I racked up another line, spilling a load

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Speaker 1: of it all over the seats. I'm slipping away. I

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Speaker 1: turned the radio off and slammed the car into gear.

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Speaker 1: The coke kicked in and I was feeling much better.

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Speaker 1: Fuck you, I shouted to the Voice of Phil Specter.

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Speaker 1: As I sang be my baby to myself again, I

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Speaker 1: watched the spiedometer go up and up as I got

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Speaker 1: closer to the chorus, and then the dial shivered a

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Speaker 1: little as the song launched into its Hook. I felt

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Speaker 1: so alive, so present, like I finally found the old

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00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:34,800
Speaker 1: me again. took me a while. I licked my finger

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00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,960
Speaker 1: and then felt for the bag of coke in my pocket.

217
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,920
Speaker 1: I stuck my finger inside and pulled out the tip,

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00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,880
Speaker 1: covered in the powder, and rammed it into my gums.

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Speaker 1: Be My baby, I shouted, throwing both of my hands

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Speaker 1: into the air. As I did, I noticed the bend

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Speaker 1: in the road up ahead. I grabbed a steering wheel,

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00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:57,600
Speaker 1: but it was too late. I went off the road,

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00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,480
Speaker 1: kicking up dirt on the side of the car and

224
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:03,000
Speaker 1: suddenly there were bushes and a tree came out of

225
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:07,120
Speaker 1: nowhere and the car went right into it. The tree

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00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:10,120
Speaker 1: branch smashed through the window and stabbed the passenger seat.

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00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:12,920
Speaker 1: I heard the dull thud of the bumper as it

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00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:16,720
Speaker 1: slammed into the trunk of the tree, and then it

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00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:25,840
Speaker 1: all went black. I'm dead, I thought. Fuck, I'm dead. No, no,

230
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Speaker 1: I'm alive, but I must be injured, surely. I tried

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00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,000
Speaker 1: to move my legs and I found I could. Then

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00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:39,880
Speaker 1: my arms all fine, then my neck still fine. I

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00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,960
Speaker 1: pushed open the car door with all my might and

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00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:46,200
Speaker 1: stumbled out through the bushes into a field. I staggered forward,

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00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:50,720
Speaker 1: but then it hit me, the fear, the dread. I

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00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,880
Speaker 1: felt all around in my pocket for the coke, but

237
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,040
Speaker 1: it wasn't there. I don't know if that will ever

238
00:15:55,040 --> 00:16:00,280
Speaker 1: come back. I sprinted back to the car. My arm

239
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,640
Speaker 1: caught some broken glass. Smoke coming from the car was

240
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,200
Speaker 1: thick now I felt around for the bag under the

241
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:13,440
Speaker 1: passenger seat. Man, I was crying, forgive me. I was devastated.

242
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:19,680
Speaker 1: It wasn't anywhere, and then I found it wedged under

243
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,120
Speaker 1: the passenger seat. I rammed my hand under and grabbed it,

244
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:26,800
Speaker 1: my knuckles painfully grinding against the underside of the seat,

245
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:30,600
Speaker 1: but I didn't care. All that mattered was that bag.

246
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,680
Speaker 1: I pulled it out and managed to get out of

247
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,760
Speaker 1: the car again. When I was back in the field,

248
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,440
Speaker 1: I fell to my knees hugging the bag as behind

249
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:42,600
Speaker 1: me the car burst into flames. Nothing mattered apart from

250
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:50,760
Speaker 1: me and this bag. We'll be right back after this,

251
00:16:50,880 --> 00:17:01,440
Speaker 1: we were. I still remember my daily routine from around

252
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:05,000
Speaker 1: that time. It's funny what sticks around in here, both

253
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:08,600
Speaker 1: good and bad. I remember a lot of late nights.

254
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,800
Speaker 1: I stayed up, but I did absolutely nothing. It's not finished.

255
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,240
Speaker 1: I couldn't tell you what I've been up to. I

256
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,240
Speaker 1: just said at home in L A, just kind of

257
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:26,120
Speaker 1: wasting away my days would start around eleven am, walk

258
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Speaker 1: down the back staircase in my house and into the den,

259
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,879
Speaker 1: sit in my bright red chair and pick at the

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00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,639
Speaker 1: upholstery with the TV on in front of me. I

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00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,840
Speaker 1: waited a while and then I heard the ring and

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00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:41,400
Speaker 1: the click of the mailbox outside twelve fourteen. Every single day,

263
00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:45,639
Speaker 1: every single day, it was the service I paid for.

264
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,239
Speaker 1: It was expensive, but you pay for quality, you know,

265
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:53,119
Speaker 1: even when it comes to logistics. I requested a twelve

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00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:56,199
Speaker 1: fifteen drop off every day, but they always came a

267
00:17:56,240 --> 00:18:00,560
Speaker 1: minute early. I never knew why. Trying to please the customer,

268
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,960
Speaker 1: I guess. The person that used my mailbox every day.

269
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,439
Speaker 1: I never knew his name, but it was always the

270
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:10,639
Speaker 1: same guy. Not a postman, but a ringer. That's what

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00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:14,320
Speaker 1: they called them anyway. They delivered drugs, whatever you wanted,

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00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:19,880
Speaker 1: right to your door. Coke, ephetamines, even heroin. I had

273
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,800
Speaker 1: them all delivered. You could get them daily if you wanted,

274
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,840
Speaker 1: and I did. They called them ringers because they would

275
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 1: travel on bikes. When the drop was done, they ring

276
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:33,480
Speaker 1: their bicycle bells as they cycled off. There was one

277
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,840
Speaker 1: day when I was sitting in my red chair, staring

278
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,880
Speaker 1: off into space and my eyes darted to our clock

279
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:45,240
Speaker 1: on the wall. I watched the second hand tick by tick,

280
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:51,399
Speaker 1: tick tick. I watched the second hand clicked jaggedly around

281
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:54,040
Speaker 1: the clock face and then the minute hand brought us

282
00:18:54,080 --> 00:19:01,320
Speaker 1: to twelve fourteen. Me To my precious treasure. Tick tick tick.

283
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:08,280
Speaker 1: Wait for it, I thought, here comes the bell any second,

284
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:11,720
Speaker 1: but there was nothing. I don't know if that will

285
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:16,080
Speaker 1: ever come back. The clock seemed to get louder and

286
00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:19,240
Speaker 1: louder in the absence of the ringer's bell. Just a

287
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,120
Speaker 1: little late, I thought. As I picked up the chair.

288
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:27,360
Speaker 1: It bit my teeth together ground them to a rhythm.

289
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,639
Speaker 1: I was flicking my foot quickly back and forth as

290
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,280
Speaker 1: I watched the second hand of the clock come background again.

291
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:38,560
Speaker 1: Where the FUNK was he? I pray, I pray, this

292
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:42,359
Speaker 1: had never happened before. The clock's minute hand swept to

293
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:46,439
Speaker 1: twelve and it sounded like a crash of thunder. I

294
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,400
Speaker 1: pulled myself out of the chair and made my way

295
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,960
Speaker 1: quickly to the front door. I was about to throw

296
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:54,360
Speaker 1: it open and anger ready to unleash hell, but I stopped.

297
00:19:55,440 --> 00:20:00,720
Speaker 1: I stood silently upstairs. I heard something. No one else

298
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,080
Speaker 1: was in the house apart from me. I was sure

299
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:07,840
Speaker 1: that I heard someone walking around quietly, but they were

300
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:13,160
Speaker 1: definitely moving around. But then I heard voices. I froze.

301
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:18,000
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm sleeping away from my cell I

302
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,200
Speaker 1: started to hear my heart beat pounding in my ear.

303
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,840
Speaker 1: At first I thought it was the ringer taking a

304
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,600
Speaker 1: chance and grabbing some jewelry or something else valuable. But

305
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,679
Speaker 1: why would he do that? I was his best client.

306
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 1: I walked quietly up the stairs, taking each one with

307
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:38,720
Speaker 1: minimal impact. I pray, I pray. The voices were hushed

308
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:43,320
Speaker 1: and aggressive. Higher I climbed with even more softness. Then

309
00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:47,879
Speaker 1: I heard someone mutter. I don't fucking know. I stopped

310
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,439
Speaker 1: at the top of the stairs and picked up an

311
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 1: old walking cane. I lifted it up outstretched across my body,

312
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:59,480
Speaker 1: ready to fight. I heard the voices again, a little

313
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:03,639
Speaker 1: clearer time. They were coming from my bedroom. I walked

314
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:07,720
Speaker 1: there quickly, while gripping the cane tightly. I stood outside

315
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:11,439
Speaker 1: the door, took a deep breath in and then I

316
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:15,600
Speaker 1: kicked it open. I flew inside the cane ready to strike,

317
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 1: but I stopped the face and there was one I

318
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 1: knew when. I knew well, it was my wife, Marylyn.

319
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:30,480
Speaker 1: Don't hurt me, she cried. For now, obviously I've never

320
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 1: heard her, but it's probably quite a good thing to

321
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,679
Speaker 1: say when a renowned drug abuser standing in front of

322
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,639
Speaker 1: you with a wooden cane held up high. She had

323
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 1: told me she'd gone out, but clearly that was a lie.

324
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:46,880
Speaker 1: Marilyn and I, we'd always had an unconventional relationship, I guess,

325
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:52,359
Speaker 1: but recently we've been having problems those days. She had

326
00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:55,240
Speaker 1: threatened to leave me if my drug taken continued. She

327
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 1: threatened to take the kids as well. Brian, she said,

328
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:04,120
Speaker 1: there were tears in her eyes. We need to do this,

329
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:08,440
Speaker 1: to do this for you. She looked over at Stephen Love,

330
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:10,920
Speaker 1: who was part of the beach boys team at the time.

331
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 1: He was halfway in our closet pulling stuff out of it.

332
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:17,639
Speaker 1: Stephen was Mike's Brother and of course Mike was there too.

333
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 1: He never missed a moment to embarrass me. So, confident,

334
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:27,200
Speaker 1: became storming out of the bathroom. Where are they, Brian?

335
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,720
Speaker 1: Stephen was asking me. I don't want to have to

336
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:33,880
Speaker 1: call the cops. Fuck, I thought, this is a drug raid,

337
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 1: a drug rade from my own fucking family. I explained

338
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:40,399
Speaker 1: that I didn't keep drugs in the house, which was

339
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:44,239
Speaker 1: sort of true. He was aggressive and angry, but I

340
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:49,640
Speaker 1: really couldn't help then Mike cut in. Look, Brian, you're

341
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,080
Speaker 1: getting a cut of our touring money and you're getting

342
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 1: a cut of our music money. You haven't properly toured

343
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 1: with us in forever, and it's been what two three

344
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 1: years since you were fully involved in a musical project.

345
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,159
Speaker 1: I didn't answer. I feel like I'm slipping away from

346
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 1: my cell. Then Maryland started in. said they were going

347
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:11,640
Speaker 1: to put me in a mental institution if I didn't

348
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:15,439
Speaker 1: stop with the drugs. She was crying. I looked at

349
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:18,360
Speaker 1: her and felt nothing. I was numb to it all,

350
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 1: to what Mike was saying, to what Marilyn was saying,

351
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 1: to what Stephen was saying. It didn't really mean much

352
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 1: to me. It was just all so boring. They swept

353
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,920
Speaker 1: the whole house, but I didn't care. There were no

354
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,120
Speaker 1: drugs anywhere. They were in my blood stream and that's

355
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 1: about it. I have been feeling like myself. As they

356
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,920
Speaker 1: were going through the cupboards and knocking on dry wall,

357
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:45,320
Speaker 1: I went outside, walked down the path in the morning

358
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,960
Speaker 1: California Sun and stood next to my mailbox. That's when

359
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 1: I saw him, my ringer. He was sitting just down

360
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 1: the street on his bike, looking right at the house.

361
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 1: I waved him over. I didn't want to. He started

362
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 1: own confused. They told me not to drop if someone

363
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 1: else could see me. I smiled and told him not

364
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 1: to worry, I'll take them now, I said. He produced

365
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 1: a brown envelope and handed it to me. I clutched

366
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:15,919
Speaker 1: it tightly to my chest. As I turned to go

367
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 1: back to the house, I stopped say I said where

368
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:23,359
Speaker 1: are you heading? Downtown, he told me. Can I catch

369
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 1: your ride? I asked. Sure, he replied, and before I

370
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,640
Speaker 1: knew it we were off. I rang the bell as

371
00:24:29,680 --> 00:25:01,960
Speaker 1: we left. Brian Wilson is seated behind the mixing desk

372
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:05,480
Speaker 1: at our CIA studios in Hollywood. His beard is the

373
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 1: longest it's ever been, his hair is shaggy and his

374
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:12,440
Speaker 1: eyes appeared to droop down his face. The one slender

375
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,679
Speaker 1: frame of his youth is lost to a body that

376
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 1: has been fed junk food in illegal substances for a decade,

377
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:20,639
Speaker 1: and the faders in front of him are all down

378
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 1: covered in cocaine residue. He takes a long, deep breath

379
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,200
Speaker 1: before pulling a large bag of coke from his pocket.

380
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 1: He thinks of the ringer who dropped it off for

381
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 1: him at his house just earlier that day, and he

382
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 1: readies a line on the mixing desk, pushing it together

383
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:37,880
Speaker 1: with the side of his little finger, shaking as he does.

384
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 1: He then pulls an already rolled note from his shirt

385
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:45,480
Speaker 1: pocket and hoovers it up quickly. Brian slumps back into

386
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:48,840
Speaker 1: the chair, itches his nostril and presses the play button.

387
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,639
Speaker 1: The track honeycomb fills the air. He listens to the

388
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 1: lead vocal. It's not his voice, but his wife Marylyn's.

389
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:59,440
Speaker 1: He stares at the speaker for a moment. He picks

390
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,840
Speaker 1: himself up from his chair, using his hands to gain

391
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 1: the right amount of leverage to lift his massive frame.

392
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:06,920
Speaker 1: He Shuffles over to a corner of the room where

393
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:08,919
Speaker 1: he spins off the top of a bottle of vodka.

394
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,359
Speaker 1: After a couple of shots, he suddenly becomes angry. He

395
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,359
Speaker 1: Darts over to the mixing desk and pulls down the

396
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 1: fader quickly. In the process he drops the vodka bottle

397
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:22,640
Speaker 1: onto the expensive equipment. Fuck, he murmurs, as the liquid

398
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 1: fizzles in the electronics. And that'll cost you. Comes a

399
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 1: voice from behind him. Brian swings around. It's the guitarist

400
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:33,919
Speaker 1: James Burton. His mind flashes back to making smile and

401
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,679
Speaker 1: there's Burton playing on a track, but he can't remember

402
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,959
Speaker 1: which track. He swallows hard, like he's trying to get

403
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,919
Speaker 1: the difficult memory of that aborted masterpiece down his throat.

404
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,920
Speaker 1: He thinks of the Song Mrs O'Leary's cow, and here's

405
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:51,480
Speaker 1: a fire crackle in his ears. Brian, you okay, Burton

406
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 1: ass and suddenly Brian is back in the now Brian

407
00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 1: lies and says he's fine. Then he asked Burton wise

408
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:01,480
Speaker 1: here in the Dutio with him? Well, I'm in the

409
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 1: studio next door, Burton says with somebody might have heard

410
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:08,879
Speaker 1: of Jesus Christ. It's not Phil Specter, is it? Burton

411
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 1: shakes his head. Ah, man, it's Elvis. Next thing Brian

412
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:17,199
Speaker 1: knows he's walking down the corridor with James Burton to

413
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:21,480
Speaker 1: meet Elvis Presley. As they arrive at our CIER's biggest room,

414
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 1: Burton pauses. There's a couple of things you should know,

415
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: he says, but Brian isn't listening. Somewhere between his anxiety

416
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,680
Speaker 1: and his excitement, he forgets his manners and burst straight

417
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:35,680
Speaker 1: through the large door. There's Elvis, shiny multi colored shirt

418
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 1: tucked into black pants, huge gold sunglasses, swallowing his face,

419
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 1: and the king looks up and for the first time

420
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 1: in a long time he looks a little perplexed. Hi,

421
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:52,159
Speaker 1: I'm Brian, Brian Shouts. Jerry shilling, prominent member of the

422
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:56,040
Speaker 1: Memphis mafia, grabs brian as he moves towards Elvis, whoa

423
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:59,359
Speaker 1: he says, will you boy? Brian repeats his name and

424
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 1: sticks his hand out to Elvis, but shilling aggressively pulls

425
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,240
Speaker 1: him back. I said, who the hell are you? Shilling?

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Speaker 1: Strength is overpowering. Brian can tell immediately that this guy

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00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 1: isn't fucking around. Brian timidly informs them both that he's

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00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,439
Speaker 1: a beach boy and he's working on an album in

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Speaker 1: the next studio. Oh Yeah, man, yeah, I know, Elvis says,

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00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,919
Speaker 1: removing his huge sunglasses and offering half a smile. Brian

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00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,119
Speaker 1: Watches him as he speaks, studies his mouth and the

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00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 1: way it draws the words, the way it moves a

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00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 1: little slow. And then he looks up at Elvis's eyes

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00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,600
Speaker 1: and sees something in there he recognizes. He can't quite

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00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:36,720
Speaker 1: put his finger on it, and then he realizes they're

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00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 1: dilated and tired. He sees it all, the foggy look

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00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,520
Speaker 1: on Elvis's face, the way everyone in the room is

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00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 1: looking at him, waiting for something. There's an undercarrent of sadness,

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00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 1: of disillusion, even to the way he moves and the

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00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:56,080
Speaker 1: way he seems so big yet so vulnerable still, and

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00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 1: shilling his grip. Brian asked Elvis if you would like

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00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 1: to come and listen to the song monkeys mixing, and

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00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,640
Speaker 1: the King Cox his head to one side. I guess

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00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 1: we could, he says. Brian can barely contain his joy.

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00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 1: You can let go of from Jerry, Elvis says, putting

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00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 1: his glasses back on. As Brian is freed from the

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00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 1: grip of the handler, he feels an overwhelming sense of happiness.

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00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 1: That in the cocaine pumping around in his body. And

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00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 1: then he does it. He doesn't know why he does it,

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00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 1: but he does self sabotage. Brian looks at Elvis and

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00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:29,400
Speaker 1: then at shilling and then back to Elvis. He smiles,

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00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 1: points at shilling and says this guy thought I was

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00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 1: gonna hurt you. I don't have a violent bone in

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00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 1: my body. Brian raises his arm up and swiftly and

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00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 1: suddenly karate chops the King of rock and roll, right

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00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:44,640
Speaker 1: there in the middle of our CIA studios. The Room

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00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 1: is stunned and for a few seconds there was only silence.

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00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 1: And then Elvis looks over at shilling and says maybe

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00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 1: we don't have time to listen to that track. As

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00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 1: Brian makes his way back to his studio alone, he

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00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 1: thinks about what a mess elvis looked like, how tired,

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00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 1: how burnt out and how ghostly he seemed. He last

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00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 1: to himself as he re enacts his karate chop, shaking

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00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,959
Speaker 1: his head in disbelief. But once back inside the control

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00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 1: booth of his studio, he promises himself he'll never get

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00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 1: like that cliche rock star who's high all the time,

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00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 1: who's lost touch with reality. He flicks play on honeycomb,

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00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 1: runs his hands through his long beard and racks up

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00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 1: another line of cocaine. The track rings around the room.

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Speaker 1: Brian Wilson sounds perfect. To everyone else, it just sounds

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00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 1: like the blood on the tracks. Blood on the tracks

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Speaker 1: produced by double Elvis in partnership with I heart radio.

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00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 1: It's hosted an executive produced by me Jake Brennan, also

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00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 1: executive produced by Brady Out Zeth Lundie is lead editor

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00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 1: and producer. This episode was written by Ben Burrow, mixing

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00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 1: on sound designed by Colin Fleming. Additional music and score

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00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 1: elements by Ryan spraaker. This season features Chris Anzaloni, is

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00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 1: the voice of Brian Wilson. Sources for this episode are

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00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 1: available at Double Elvis Dot com on the blood in

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00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 1: the track series page. Follow Double Elvis on instagram at

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00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 1: double elvis and on twitch at s graceland talks, and

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00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 1: you can talk to me per usual on instagram and

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00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 1: twitter at disgrace land pod. Rock and roll or dead