Speaker 1: Previously, And does this murger make me look gay?
Speaker 2: Reginald, you're here holding a gun and pointing it right
Speaker 2: at me.
Speaker 3: Your next Wilma, not if I do.
Speaker 2: This?
Speaker 4: No, no, no, Bygabe.
Speaker 2: Reginald, you killed them, TJ, Kelly, Tush, just tell us why.
Speaker 5: I can't tell you why because I didn't do it.
Speaker 1: Have you found the will? James?
Speaker 2: No, I wish, more than anything I knew where it was.
Speaker 3: I'm not staying in this hell hole a moment longer
Speaker 3: than I have to.
Speaker 6: If you give a mouse a cookie, everything you need
Speaker 6: to be a great writer is in those pages.
Speaker 2: You just have to look.
Speaker 7: Carry Russell and Matthew Reese. This isn't just a book,
Speaker 7: It's a code welcome back, dear listener. The trumb with
Speaker 7: being dead is that, despite.
Speaker 6: What you've seen in the movies, it's nearly impossible to
Speaker 6: travel back to Earth. It's a whole point system, and
Speaker 6: it takes forever. They say, I'll be eligible in thirty
Speaker 6: seventy two.
Speaker 2: If I behave myself.
Speaker 6: Had I been able to communicate with James after my demise,
Speaker 6: I would reminded him about the book much sooner. But
Speaker 6: I wasn't, so I didn't. Luckily, he figured out I'd
Speaker 6: left a hidden message to help guide him or anything
Speaker 6: murderers to happen a kick in the right direction before
Speaker 6: it was too late.
Speaker 2: I'm not a chair, but take a seat in a
Speaker 2: humble abode or a fancy suite. Call me dirty or
Speaker 2: a vital part the hidden back of a porcelain heart.
Speaker 2: Porcelain heart. Huh, humble or fancy? Dirty or vital. Now
Speaker 2: there's something I'm missing. I'm not a chair, but take
Speaker 2: a bandy. Please tell me you didn't put your will
Speaker 2: in there.
Speaker 6: Oh yes, dear listener, I did.
Speaker 2: I don't blame you for hiding a second copy of
Speaker 2: your will where no gay would dare to look. But really,
Speaker 2: in a toilet tank. There's too much water. There must
Speaker 2: be a valve here, somewhere, Jesus, I set off of
Speaker 2: a day. Come on, God, come there. Yeah, we're cooking
Speaker 2: with gas. Haha. A zealed ziplock bag with a folder
Speaker 2: inside the second copy of Vandy's will. Smart thinking old man,
Speaker 2: let's see here. Oh oh my oh, I wasn't expecting this.
Speaker 2: I wasn't expecting this at all. Oh, Fandy, I think
Speaker 2: I know who really kills you. Now I have to
Speaker 2: prove it.
Speaker 8: In a house on him lives a gay and his
Speaker 8: friends want him dead?
Speaker 9: Right?
Speaker 8: Why someone wants to kill him even though it's wrong?
Speaker 2: Since the world is manner wrong?
Speaker 8: Thanny is born, it's very closely listen with yourris see
Speaker 8: if you can guess s which one of these queens
Speaker 8: maybe is the killer?
Speaker 10: Who is the killer?
Speaker 2: Who did he? Who wanted dead?
Speaker 8: Who did he? Who crept in his bad?
Speaker 9: Was it was it me?
Speaker 8: Who could it be?
Speaker 2: Who did it? They're drugging like flies woodin it?
Speaker 11: Lease guy is like guys?
Speaker 2: Who did it?
Speaker 12: Who was he?
Speaker 9: What does this word make me?
Speaker 2: Look?
Speaker 6: If you recall, precious listener, when we last left off,
Speaker 6: everyone still alive had gathered in the living room. The
Speaker 6: storm had stopped, the police were on their way. Reginald
Speaker 6: was tied to one of my regal Theodore Alexander chairs.
Speaker 6: All eyes moved between him and the road, waiting for
Speaker 6: the plows to clear the way.
Speaker 4: Moon.
Speaker 3: Yes, Polly, I say, we get out of here, steal
Speaker 3: a pair of boots and start making our way to
Speaker 3: the volkswagon.
Speaker 2: Is anyone adding to the airport.
Speaker 12: I have a showed this week in Cabo for a
Speaker 12: new adult film in Airy Twater universe, Fantastic Beasts and How.
Speaker 2: To Fuck Them.
Speaker 8: Oh, Henry would have loved it.
Speaker 12: I can't believe we're about to go our separate ways.
Speaker 12: I'm gonna miss all of you, Not you, Reginald, right
Speaker 12: back at you, but everyone else. Moon, Polly. Do you
Speaker 12: have a concert coming up?
Speaker 9: I can attend?
Speaker 1: Oh do we?
Speaker 9: Polly?
Speaker 3: You've been hard to get a hold of these past
Speaker 3: few weeks. I haven't booked us anything new, but I
Speaker 3: want to. I hear there's a new coffee shop and
Speaker 3: we Dispensary and Weehawken and they're looking for Betty Buckley's
Speaker 3: opening act.
Speaker 1: Oh that sounds nice and prestigious.
Speaker 3: Well, goodbye everyone, Polly.
Speaker 1: Don't you think that we should wait for the police?
Speaker 2: Good question, Moon, James.
Speaker 1: I thought you went back to your cabin.
Speaker 2: I did, but something brought me back into this house
Speaker 2: and into Vandy's en suite bathroom.
Speaker 1: Indigestion always, but also.
Speaker 2: Vandy's will Gay.
Speaker 12: Guess now we already know who the killer is, Reginald,
Speaker 12: the witch who works for the devil.
Speaker 4: I don't work for him, you simpleton. It's a partnership
Speaker 4: one where he gets everything and I had to give
Speaker 4: up my soul. We are total equals, except that he
Speaker 4: lives forever, and now I look like a soggy cracker.
Speaker 2: We are the same, okay, girl, Back to what you
Speaker 2: were saying, Jacques, I too thought we'd unmasked the killer.
Speaker 2: But if you'll indulge me, I have another theory to propose.
Speaker 12: Sure, I'm all ears, I'm mostly old dick, but also
Speaker 12: down to hear what you think.
Speaker 1: It does sound like fun, James, But Polly and I should.
Speaker 3: Go so fast, Jack, move out of our way.
Speaker 2: Nope, I'm parking my massive chest right here until we
Speaker 2: agree to we hear James out.
Speaker 12: It's the least we can do with the famous detective amongst.
Speaker 2: Us amateur amateur detective. But yes, everyone said, find somewhere comfy.
Speaker 2: This might take a minute now that you're all seated.
Speaker 1: Wait a second, there's something hard under my butt. One
Speaker 1: of the dildos from when we matched dildos to pick
Speaker 1: partners so that we could we remember remember that clearly
Speaker 1: must have gotten lodged between the cushions. M It feels
Speaker 1: kind of good in my hands.
Speaker 4: Bet it feel even better.
Speaker 2: Up your reginald enough, you certainly seem like the killer,
Speaker 2: even though you won't admit it. And it doesn't make
Speaker 2: sense why you'd want TJ dead.
Speaker 12: He hates lesbians. He made that quite clear.
Speaker 2: True, But there's more to TJ's death than that. Let's
Speaker 2: back up to the night Vandy disappeared. Everyone had dinner
Speaker 2: where Vandy fought openly with Kelly.
Speaker 6: You'd have to kill me to get into one of
Speaker 6: my movies.
Speaker 3: Maybe I will, Vandy, maybe will.
Speaker 2: But Kelly wasn't the only one with a motive to
Speaker 2: kill him. Everyone invited had one. There was Henry, who
Speaker 2: wanted to build a replica of Hogwarts, only Vandy was
Speaker 2: in the way. It was you Shock, who knew about
Speaker 2: Vandy's history in porn a history he'd do anything to
Speaker 2: cover up. Tush, a trusted servant who wanted to raise
Speaker 2: but never got one. Wilmer who lost his allowance.
Speaker 1: And there was Reginald who clearly did it.
Speaker 2: And Madam You.
Speaker 9: There was you me.
Speaker 1: I told you I needed Vandy alive. He was going
Speaker 1: to produce my new show.
Speaker 2: That's what you said. I was scrubbing through some of
Speaker 2: the recorded audio. I heard this, Please hold as I
Speaker 2: opened my laptop recorded audio. What you mean, did I
Speaker 2: not mention every room in this mansion is equipped with
Speaker 2: a hidden microphone that has been recording this entire weekend,
Speaker 2: almost every room. Sadly, we didn't think to bug the
Speaker 2: broom closet. Alright, let's see. Let me hm with the WiFi. Ah, yes,
Speaker 2: this is from before everyone arrived.
Speaker 6: No, don't sit me next Moon, I have to break
Speaker 6: bad news to her, very bad news. She will be
Speaker 6: devastating and I will need to be far away from
Speaker 6: those are critic nails?
Speaker 2: What was this bad news Vandy had to break? Then
Speaker 2: it hit me he was pulling out of your new
Speaker 2: show to put the money into his movie all about Steve.
Speaker 1: Wasn't he news show?
Speaker 3: Mooney? What is he talking about?
Speaker 8: Moon?
Speaker 2: Was gonna decimate your duo and go so low?
Speaker 9: Did you know that?
Speaker 3: No? I didn't.
Speaker 1: It's not true, Polly. I mean I was thinking about
Speaker 1: putting together something new, sure, but for both of us,
Speaker 1: he has no proof.
Speaker 2: You're right, it was all a hunch until I went
Speaker 2: back into TJ's room just now and found this gay
Speaker 2: Gosh is that a little girl's writing journal? I believe
Speaker 2: it's pronounced girl nol, And yes, it belonged to TJ
Speaker 2: may she rest in fleece. I found it in her
Speaker 2: bag next to many many Melissa Ethrich CDs, which I'm
Speaker 2: who even has CDs anymore? Lesbians lesbians do nothing looks
Speaker 2: strange at first, until I noticed the final end had
Speaker 2: been ripped out quick aside. When I was a gay tween,
Speaker 2: I too kept a journal. One day, I wrote an
Speaker 2: entry about crushing on a boy at school. I wanted
Speaker 2: nothing more than for him to invite me to his
Speaker 2: Broadway themed bar mitzvah. After I finished, I realized that
Speaker 2: my nosy sister Janet might find my journal, so I
Speaker 2: ripped out the entry and threw it away. Only guess what,
Speaker 2: When you write, your pen makes indentations on the page.
Speaker 2: Depending on the strength of your grip, those indentations might
Speaker 2: sink into the page underneath. So even though I threw
Speaker 2: away my incriminating entry, Janet used paper and a pencil
Speaker 2: to shade over the indents and figure out what I
Speaker 2: had written, A valuable lesson which I employed in Teja's
Speaker 2: Girl in the bit of Elbow Grease. I was able
Speaker 2: to see what she'd written before she died.
Speaker 1: Go on, then, what is I I've had enough Polly.
Speaker 2: Let It turns out TJ was going to be the
Speaker 2: stage manager for a new solo show, Your new solo show, Moon, Oh.
Speaker 2: Only as of last week, the show was canceled off
Speaker 2: the books. Instead of financing it, Vandy was putting the
Speaker 2: money into his movie. He told TJ so that she
Speaker 2: could look for a new job.
Speaker 10: It says, I didn't expect to see Madam Moon here.
Speaker 10: What are the odds I'd have a better chance at
Speaker 10: Lauren Tennis, Champ Martina and Avatarlovo away from her wife.
Speaker 10: I mean, I could do it, but it would be tough.
Speaker 10: Moon must be so pissed that Vandy pulled the rug
Speaker 10: out from under her, and I know a thing or
Speaker 10: two about rugs. I'm wondered if I should say something
Speaker 10: to her, or if she wants to pretend we don't
Speaker 10: know each other, which is triggering for me, since it's
Speaker 10: a relationship dynamic I play out with my cat.
Speaker 2: TJ goes on and on and on. What's clear is
Speaker 2: this she knew your secret, Moon, a secret you desperately
Speaker 2: wanted to keep.
Speaker 1: Polly, I can explain.
Speaker 2: Never in a million years did you imagine she'd turn
Speaker 2: up here if she told anyone. The show was off.
Speaker 2: You were suddenly a prime suspect in Vandy's murder. You
Speaker 2: already admitted to sleeping with him, so you killed her? No,
Speaker 2: you snuck into her room while we discovered poor Kelly's body.
Speaker 2: That's why you were late. All you had to do
Speaker 2: was find a way inside, and for that you'd need
Speaker 2: the master key. A small task for a skilled thief.
Speaker 2: Remember this.
Speaker 1: I always had lone ladyfingers, so I was good at
Speaker 1: snatching wallets and watches. I never said that.
Speaker 12: Moon, We legitimately just heard you say it on the computer.
Speaker 1: It's Ai, My identity is being stolen. Where's sag aftro
Speaker 1: when you need them?
Speaker 2: But you slipped up, didn't you?
Speaker 1: Is that a trick question?
Speaker 2: The cut marks on TJ's body are incredibly thin, unlike
Speaker 2: any knife I'd seen before. That's because it wasn't a
Speaker 2: real knife, was it.
Speaker 1: I love my creams and serums, and I live to
Speaker 1: Derma plane.
Speaker 9: I'm absheshed.
Speaker 2: I better if we got your Derma planing blade tested,
Speaker 2: it would have your skin cells and TJ's lesbian blood.
Speaker 1: Fine, fine, you got me?
Speaker 2: I did? I mean? I did?
Speaker 1: I killed TJ? So what Vandy pulled me aside after
Speaker 1: dinner and said that my shows off done dead. It
Speaker 1: was going to be my big break, my big solo break.
Speaker 1: It has nothing to do with you, Polly, honestly, but
Speaker 1: I'm ready to stretch my wings, like when Beyonce left
Speaker 1: Destiny's Child, or less successfully, when Zane left One Direction.
Speaker 1: Everyone knew Harry was a star, but how could we
Speaker 1: have known that Niall would steal his thunder?
Speaker 3: I'm sorry I didn't.
Speaker 9: Tell you, Polly.
Speaker 1: So so, yeah, I slayed the Saffog, but I didn't
Speaker 1: kill anyone else. Promise, are we good?
Speaker 9: So Moon is the killer?
Speaker 12: What did you have against Tush and Kelly?
Speaker 2: Here's where it gets a little twisty turney. Vandy was
Speaker 2: found in the secret passageway connecting his bedroom to the
Speaker 2: one next to it where Moon was sleeping. Only that
Speaker 2: wasn't the room you were a signed?
Speaker 9: Was it the only saving graces I was able to
Speaker 9: switch rooms. I didn't have to see the street.
Speaker 1: I cannot stand the sound of cars.
Speaker 2: No, it wasn't.
Speaker 1: I had one close to the road, but I asked
Speaker 1: Polly to suit with me because my ears are sensitive.
Speaker 1: I had no idea there was a secret passageway.
Speaker 2: No, but Polly did, didn't you, Gush.
Speaker 3: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Speaker 2: Reginald mentioned something the first night about Vandy that stuck
Speaker 2: in my head.
Speaker 9: What he was falling in love.
Speaker 2: Vandy was acting like he was in love. Yes, he
Speaker 2: was scared for his life because his life finally had meaning.
Speaker 2: He was seeing someone, someone he wanted, in the room
Speaker 2: next to him for a secret rendezvous.
Speaker 6: So there is one person I hope is on my side,
Speaker 6: an actual friend, perhaps even something more.
Speaker 2: When Moon asked you to switch rooms with her, you
Speaker 2: wanted to say no, but you couldn't. Could your Polly,
Speaker 2: Otherwise it might raise her suspicion. You realize, though, you
Speaker 2: could knock her out by giving her an extra sleeping
Speaker 2: pill before bed. Then you snuck into her room, into
Speaker 2: the secret passageway and met Vandy, And by met, I
Speaker 2: mean poisoned his brandy and killed him gaging. And you
Speaker 2: didn't need arsenic from Tusha's supply in the kitchen, Ye
Speaker 2: had your own. That's why we found two bottles, because
Speaker 2: arsenic is used to clean vintage pianos, doesn't.
Speaker 9: It, As far as I know, Polly is a sexual.
Speaker 9: Unless you can suck a piano. All it does is
Speaker 9: restore old ones in his free time.
Speaker 3: This is insane. I won't stand here while you defame me, James.
Speaker 2: It's not defamation if it's the truth. Polly Rebel Wilson
Speaker 2: learned that the hard way. You knew about Vandy's plan
Speaker 2: to catch his killer because he told you all about it.
Speaker 2: He loved you and trusted you. You were the only
Speaker 2: person he invited who he didn't think wanted him dead.
Speaker 9: Polly unworried a mayheus. We don't know who's listening.
Speaker 2: That's why I could never get the murders on tape.
Speaker 2: You knew about the microphones, and you knew you couldn't
Speaker 2: open his bedroom door, so you left the way. You
Speaker 2: came through the secret passageway and out Moon's door into
Speaker 2: the hall. If anyone saw you, they'd think you were
Speaker 2: sleeping with Moon.
Speaker 3: But no one did see me, because that never happened.
Speaker 2: Oh but someone did, Paulie. Someone did. Our fallen German
Speaker 2: friend Tush.
Speaker 4: You see a lot when your job involves midnight snacks
Speaker 4: and loo bruns.
Speaker 2: He threatened to expose you, didn't he unless you paid
Speaker 2: him off. You turned him down at first, but he
Speaker 2: suspected you'd cave, which is why he didn't say anything
Speaker 2: when we tied him up, and you made sure he
Speaker 2: stayed quiet by killing him. That's why all we got
Speaker 2: on the audio tape from your room that night was this.
Speaker 2: He found the mic and unplugged it while Tush confronted him.
Speaker 3: Okay, gasp, how absurd?
Speaker 2: Oh? Then what's your explanation? If the microphone wasn't tampered with?
Speaker 2: Why don't we hear anything from your room?
Speaker 3: How should I know?
Speaker 2: And it's why Tush was murdered in the broom closet.
Speaker 2: You knew nobody would hear. Kelly thought it was a vampire.
Speaker 2: But the prongs on Tush's neck were from a tuning fork.
Speaker 2: Weren't they something a master musician like yourself would surely carry?
Speaker 3: Lies I don't carry a tuning fork, Paulie.
Speaker 11: What just fell out of your pants?
Speaker 3: A tuning fork?
Speaker 2: Fine?
Speaker 9: Holy sha, I'm hard as a rock.
Speaker 2: What about Kelly? That confused me too? Kelly was a
Speaker 2: dumb dumb and the perfect scapegoat. Why kill him? But
Speaker 2: he was an unfortunate casualty. Wasn't he wrong place, wrong time?
Speaker 3: More like wrong? Detective wrong? Suspect.
Speaker 2: Why all the loop?
Speaker 1: Why was Kelly covert and stuff?
Speaker 2: Honestly, I don't think the loop had anything to do
Speaker 2: with the murder. Kelly got hungry started eating his own
Speaker 2: supply it was flavored. After all that tracks there was
Speaker 2: someone in that room you were trying to kill though,
Speaker 2: isn't that right, Paully? No Angela Lance Fairy?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, although she was really annoying.
Speaker 12: Why would Paulie want to murder a bird?
Speaker 2: Great question, but I have a little more to get
Speaker 2: through first, and the bird stuff is a super cool
Speaker 2: reveal I'm saving till the end. So back to Kelly.
Speaker 2: We never discovered what kind of wire Kelly was murdered with,
Speaker 2: That is until your and Moon's most recent performance.
Speaker 9: Polly, how I'd like you to make a mistake.
Speaker 2: You used a piano wire to strangle Kelly, didn't you.
Speaker 2: Moon wanted to celebrate with a song, but you didn't
Speaker 2: want to play because you knew there was a string missing,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 4: James, for someone with no real experience in sleuthing has
Speaker 4: been thrown into this mess without a life jacket.
Speaker 2: I'm quite impressed if I wasn't tied up.
Speaker 4: At this particular moment didn't have the body of well gollum,
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'd fuck you, I think, Oh thanks.
Speaker 3: I've let you go on far too long. You've lost
Speaker 3: your mind. No wonder you can't finish a novel. Your
Speaker 3: head's full of gauze and salt.
Speaker 2: Me all you want, Polly, It doesn't change the truth.
Speaker 2: I think you found out Moon was going solo, and
Speaker 2: the idea crushed you. You've been obsessed with Moon for years.
Speaker 2: It was bad enough he didn't want to be your lover.
Speaker 2: If he left the act, you'd have nothing. So you
Speaker 2: seduced Vandy, got him to break up with Moon and
Speaker 2: pull out of his show. That way he'd be forced
Speaker 2: to stay with you. Then, out of pure animosity for
Speaker 2: trying to steal Moon away, you tortured Vandy, terrified him
Speaker 2: until you finish the job.
Speaker 9: Killed him.
Speaker 2: Oh well, he thought you loved.
Speaker 9: Him, poor Deed.
Speaker 11: That's horrible.
Speaker 12: You're mean, Paly, You're a mean, mean person.
Speaker 3: Oh choke on a dick, Wilmer ha.
Speaker 12: I already have and I survived, not just survived.
Speaker 6: I thrived.
Speaker 2: Here guys, Look is that Vandy's will? It is indeed
Speaker 2: the first copy, the one in his safe was burned.
Speaker 2: I'm guessing by you, Polly, as it names you as
Speaker 2: the sole beneficiary of his estate. Gay Gas, But you
Speaker 2: didn't want Vandy's money, did you? You just wanted moon
Speaker 2: all to yourself. Better to let everyone think Reginald was
Speaker 2: the one to benefit from Vandy's death. If the will
Speaker 2: was never found, he's most likely to inherit everything, the
Speaker 2: perfect motive to exterminate Bandy.
Speaker 4: I told you all along, I did not do it.
Speaker 2: But Vandy left a second copy of his will. Cake
Speaker 2: Gas didn't expect that, did You.
Speaker 9: Don't mean to speak on you'll be off, bully, but
Speaker 9: certainly seems like he didn't.
Speaker 2: There must have been the tiniest seed of doubt in
Speaker 2: Vandy's mind about you, Polly. So this was his backup,
Speaker 2: His estate and his fortune is left to Peter Buddino.
Speaker 11: Eating gay or gay gasp.
Speaker 12: Wait, who the hell is Peter Bambino?
Speaker 2: Badino?
Speaker 1: Like the dessert?
Speaker 3: That's Boudino, dear, that's what a U.
Speaker 4: Budino is spelled with an A.
Speaker 2: I'm assuming it is, and Peter Badino is Polly Barker
Speaker 2: pe b same initials, which I realized when I saw
Speaker 2: your luggage Vandy knew your real name and called you PB,
Speaker 2: just like you knew that those closest in his life
Speaker 2: called him Jeremiah his middle name, and his old poor
Speaker 2: name Jizimiah, exactly Peb and j. Which is why Angela
Speaker 2: lands Fairy had to die. She knew too much.
Speaker 12: What's happening, Angela lands Fairy?
Speaker 2: She's alive, Jasy, she landed right on your shoulder.
Speaker 9: I hope she doesn't dumber duty.
Speaker 2: They're there, old friend. She's cold, half frozen, but otherwise
Speaker 2: seems okay.
Speaker 4: Ugh told you pee, young.
Speaker 3: People loves jan The bird's been saying it this whole time,
Speaker 3: that cockatoo is a genius.
Speaker 6: What molasment pipeline San Francisco bird feed up mop back,
Speaker 6: leaving an accordion.
Speaker 12: Well, maybe not a genius, but super duper smart and
Speaker 12: sexually adventurous. Don't ask how I know.
Speaker 1: Polly, I is it true?
Speaker 9: Yes?
Speaker 3: I did it for you, mooney, It's always been you.
Speaker 1: I don't understand. I thought you were asexual.
Speaker 3: Asexual. I've been in love with you my entire life,
Speaker 3: only you were too blind to see. I settled for
Speaker 3: friends than accompanies because it was better than nothing. I
Speaker 3: couldn't bear to be without you. It was torture, so
Speaker 3: close and yet so far, seeing your lips but never
Speaker 3: able to kiss them, Smelling your perfume but never able
Speaker 3: to rub with your skin on mine. It's such an
Speaker 3: intoxicating scent, Moon.
Speaker 5: I never asked you what.
Speaker 1: It is my perfume. Oh, it's pauper's.
Speaker 3: When I found out you were planning to leave the
Speaker 3: act and sleeping with Vandy, I thought my life was over.
Speaker 3: All I could see was red Vandy's, the sort of
Speaker 3: gay I love, rich, entitled, raised with a silver spoon.
Speaker 12: Watch what you say about my dead daddy.
Speaker 3: Oh Stephan, you brat. You don't know anything about hard work.
Speaker 3: None of you do.
Speaker 7: All of you know that perform and sexual acts on
Speaker 7: other men for money is literally the definition.
Speaker 2: Of hard work.
Speaker 3: You think you had it rough. I grew up in
Speaker 3: an orphanage that makes Oliver look like candy Land. You
Speaker 3: see these scars, and that's where the orphanage master put
Speaker 3: his cigarettes out. All the boys were mean to me.
Speaker 3: Nobody wanted to be friends with the queer kid with
Speaker 3: perfect pitch. I managed to scrape a life together for myself,
Speaker 3: a life with Moon that I treasure more than anything.
Speaker 3: I wasn't getting a lot of man who owns three
Speaker 3: teslas steal it away. Hell no, not without a fight.
Speaker 3: So I decided to seduce Vandy myself and turn the
Speaker 3: old man against Moon. With Vandy dead, I figured my
Speaker 3: beloved Chantos would fall into my arms and we could
Speaker 3: live happily ever after, like Matt Boehmer and whoever his
Speaker 3: husband is only less attractive and with fewer dinner parties.
Speaker 1: Beats a hot pancake, Flower power, Stephanie j blok. Oh, Polly,
Speaker 1: I'm taught you killed for me and I killed DJ
Speaker 1: for you, well, mostly for me, but a little bit
Speaker 1: for you. We really are meant for each other.
Speaker 9: Oh, I hate to break up this murderer's love vest.
Speaker 2: But what happens now? Now? The cops come, of course,
Speaker 2: and Polly and Moon Moon run.
Speaker 3: There?
Speaker 9: Stop?
Speaker 2: That got them.
Speaker 12: There, James, you did it. You tied up Moon and Polly.
Speaker 3: My hands, my piano hands.
Speaker 1: Aha, Oh, I'll just hurt my tiny wrists there.
Speaker 2: Neither of you are going anywhere now.
Speaker 12: Never thought i'd see curtains ues like that outside of
Speaker 12: the sound of music, of course.
Speaker 2: Are you okay?
Speaker 9: James?
Speaker 2: When I put your head through that wall. Look like
Speaker 2: my birth in reverse. I'm fine, but why are you
Speaker 2: in jock naked?
Speaker 12: You seem like you had the whole thing covered. Plus
Speaker 12: Chase kind of turned us on.
Speaker 2: Stand back, everyone.
Speaker 12: The Dutchess County Sheriff is here.
Speaker 4: Where where is he?
Speaker 2: May?
Speaker 3: It's may Sheriff, Dick and Mouth.
Speaker 2: The Duchess County Sheriff is irish. Nothing ceases to amaze
Speaker 2: me this weekend.
Speaker 6: That's your legal name, dick in Mouth, my name and
Speaker 6: mcgame requesting backup at the monroused it?
Speaker 3: I repeat, back up at the monroused it?
Speaker 2: Now? Who called us? Then me? Your highness Sheriff Officerman
Speaker 2: Dortches County Shriff. These two Polly and Moon, they're responsible
Speaker 2: for the deaths this weekend.
Speaker 4: May I be untied now?
Speaker 9: Please?
Speaker 2: Well, Reginald, you also killed people?
Speaker 4: Twinks? No, they don't count.
Speaker 2: This is America, twinks always cat mister sheriff, take them away?
Speaker 4: Oh oh oh, well, if you're gonna put your hands
Speaker 4: on me, put them lower.
Speaker 1: Huh.
Speaker 12: I can't believe everyone is gone.
Speaker 2: What do you think you'll do with the place, Wilmer.
Speaker 4: I think.
Speaker 12: I'll keep the house, and I think I'll stay in
Speaker 12: a house and fuck Wilma, but not contribute financially.
Speaker 2: That feels right.
Speaker 12: Thank you for solving Daddy's murder.
Speaker 9: He would be proud of you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think he would.
Speaker 12: I could keep you on as caretaker.
Speaker 9: It's a big place.
Speaker 12: I need the help.
Speaker 2: I appreciate that. But after this weekend, it's time to
Speaker 2: see what else is out there for me. Plus, I
Speaker 2: finally have a good idea for a book. I think
Speaker 2: I'll try a bit of writing.
Speaker 9: Good luck.
Speaker 12: It's hard out there for a white guy with zero credits.
Speaker 2: You think, But I'm gay, Oh James, No one cares
Speaker 2: fair enough. But before I go, there's one last thing
Speaker 2: I need to do. See the wall over there, that one,
Speaker 2: no one, Nope, nope, the one. I'm pointing to that
Speaker 2: one with my hand. Ah, that one the struggle knocked
Speaker 2: over that grandfather clock. Can you see how the wallpaper
Speaker 2: that was behind it is rippling and bubbling? I always say,
Speaker 2: when you see the bubble, you know there's trouble.
Speaker 12: Uh sort of yeah.
Speaker 2: I think I finally might know where Leya Salonga is.
Speaker 2: Do you mind if I tear down that wall paper?
Speaker 9: Go for it?
Speaker 2: There a door laya Salonga.
Speaker 4: Is that you.
Speaker 3: I thought you never find me.
Speaker 2: I almost didn't, are you? Okay? Mostly?
Speaker 13: Thank god? The bugs down here are plentiful. One day
Speaker 13: I'll have to do Kiss of the Spider Woman, now
Speaker 13: that I have a personal experience of kissing spiders and
Speaker 13: eating them.
Speaker 2: You've survived on insects this whole time.
Speaker 13: And water from the pipes. Oh and show tunes. A
Speaker 13: good musical number keeps me going for a while.
Speaker 2: Help me up careful now, steady there, Lea. Can I
Speaker 2: ask you something anything? Would you sing a whole New
Speaker 2: World with me? One of my lifelong dreams is for
Speaker 2: me to sing the Aladdin part and for you to praise.
Speaker 13: My silken vocals as princess Jasmine. God, you gaze are predictable.
Speaker 12: But you did save me, so sure.
Speaker 13: I just need to warm up first, Okay, I'm ready.
Speaker 2: That's all you do to warm up?
Speaker 12: Of course, I'm lays longer, bitch.
Speaker 6: Yes, we've reached the end of this queer little mystery.
Speaker 6: My killer's been identified. The bad people will be locked away.
Speaker 6: Several innocent people died, which I feel lot so great about.
Speaker 6: But we sure got a good story out of.
Speaker 9: It, didn't we.
Speaker 6: You may be thinking, Vandy, if you're narrating this from heaven,
Speaker 6: why didn't you simply tell us who killed you? Instead
Speaker 6: of making us listen to eight episodes of these Silly
Speaker 6: Days trying to figure it out. My answer is I
Speaker 6: could have, but I didn't, and aren't you the better
Speaker 6: for it? Until next time, my pets, When someone asks you,
Speaker 6: does this murder make me look gay? The answer is
Speaker 6: always fong yes.
Speaker 11: If you have made it to the end of this series,
Speaker 11: then congratulations, you are deeply queer and the world is
Speaker 11: better for it. I would like to dedicate does this
Speaker 11: murder make me look gay? To the memory of my
Speaker 11: dear friend Paul Wright, who I hope somewhere is listening
Speaker 11: and laughing.
Speaker 5: Does this murder make Me look gay? Stars Michael Yury
Speaker 5: as James Wilson, Douglas Sills as Reginald Divine, Robin de
Speaker 5: Jesus as Wilmer Munroe, Chyenne Jackson as Jacques Saint Cox,
Speaker 5: Sean Patrick Doyle as Madam Moon, Brad Oscar as Tush
Speaker 5: von Munch, Nathan Lee Graham as Henry Jacobs, Frankie Grande
Speaker 5: as Kelly Raymore, and Flanagan Seth Radetsky as Polly Barker,
Speaker 5: Leah Delaria as TJ, featuring Kate McKinnon as Angela Lansferry
Speaker 5: with Leah Salga as herself and Jonathan Freeman as Vandy
Speaker 5: Jeremiah Munroe the Third. Additional performances by Ryan Steele, Malory Portnoy,
Speaker 5: Emily lan Nacho tem Buonting written and directed by Ted Mallower.
Speaker 5: Executive producer Ted Mallower. Executive producers for Ninth Planet Audio
Speaker 5: Elizabeth Baquitt and Jimmy Miller. Hank Wittard served as story editor.
Speaker 5: Original score composed by Peter Lherman. Original score produced and
Speaker 5: mixed by Alex Bonoff. Theme song performed by Ted Mallower,
Speaker 5: written by Ted Mallower and Peter Lherman. Piano accompaniment for
Speaker 5: Madame Moon by Jacob Yates. Casting by Adam Caldwell, Karen
Speaker 5: Cassel and Rachel Hoffman at Telsey and Company. Audio post
Speaker 5: production by One Thousand Birds principal recording, dialogue, editing, sound
Speaker 5: design and mixing by Torren Geller, Andrew Tracy and Haley Livingston.
Speaker 5: Audio post executive producers Gwen Frailing and Kiera mcnight. Production
Speaker 5: coordinators Hannah Dickinson. Gillian Langanelli, Isabella Danzi and Rose kelso Key.
Speaker 5: Art by Ben Wiseman, Production accounting by Dill pret Singh.
Speaker 5: Special thanks to Jordan Surf, Daniella Fetterman, Morgan Gould, Eric Harper,
Speaker 5: Aaron Jenkin, Chelsea Crepps, Will O'Donnell, Don Saltzman, Michael Stearns,
Speaker 5: and Josh Pultz. Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay?
Speaker 5: Is a production of Ninth Planet Audio in association with
Speaker 5: iHeart Podcasts. This podcast was recorded under a SAG after
Speaker 5: a collective bargaining agreement.
Speaker 2: Landing renro I
Speaker 9: Ninth Planet Audio con We're Overlandinglan