WEBVTT - Episode 8: Being Alive 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.800 Previously, And does this murger make me look gay? 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:08.559 Reginald, you're here holding a gun and pointing it right 0:00:08.600 --> 0:00:08.879 at me. 0:00:09.400 --> 0:00:12.680 Your next Wilma, not if I do. 0:00:13.880 --> 0:00:13.920 This? 0:00:15.800 --> 0:00:23.360 No, no, no, Bygabe. 0:00:22.480 --> 0:00:27.480 Reginald, you killed them, TJ, Kelly, Tush, just tell us why. 0:00:27.640 --> 0:00:31.680 I can't tell you why because I didn't do it. 0:00:32.200 --> 0:00:34.160 Have you found the will? James? 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:38.040 No, I wish, more than anything I knew where it was. 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:40.880 I'm not staying in this hell hole a moment longer 0:00:40.920 --> 0:00:41.479 than I have to. 0:00:42.080 --> 0:00:45.360 If you give a mouse a cookie, everything you need 0:00:45.400 --> 0:00:48.080 to be a great writer is in those pages. 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:50.200 You just have to look. 0:00:50.800 --> 0:00:54.560 Carry Russell and Matthew Reese. This isn't just a book, 0:00:55.680 --> 0:01:00.240 It's a code welcome back, dear listener. The trumb with 0:01:00.320 --> 0:01:02.240 being dead is that, despite. 0:01:01.800 --> 0:01:04.760 What you've seen in the movies, it's nearly impossible to 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:08.280 travel back to Earth. It's a whole point system, and 0:01:08.360 --> 0:01:12.440 it takes forever. They say, I'll be eligible in thirty 0:01:12.560 --> 0:01:13.160 seventy two. 0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:15.240 If I behave myself. 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:19.000 Had I been able to communicate with James after my demise, 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:22.480 I would reminded him about the book much sooner. But 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:27.080 I wasn't, so I didn't. Luckily, he figured out I'd 0:01:27.120 --> 0:01:29.960 left a hidden message to help guide him or anything 0:01:30.160 --> 0:01:34.680 murderers to happen a kick in the right direction before 0:01:34.760 --> 0:01:35.679 it was too late. 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:41.520 I'm not a chair, but take a seat in a 0:01:41.600 --> 0:01:46.280 humble abode or a fancy suite. Call me dirty or 0:01:46.319 --> 0:01:51.480 a vital part the hidden back of a porcelain heart. 0:01:52.800 --> 0:02:02.440 Porcelain heart. Huh, humble or fancy? Dirty or vital. Now 0:02:02.520 --> 0:02:06.320 there's something I'm missing. I'm not a chair, but take 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:10.680 a bandy. Please tell me you didn't put your will 0:02:10.720 --> 0:02:11.200 in there. 0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:14.840 Oh yes, dear listener, I did. 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:20.240 I don't blame you for hiding a second copy of 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:23.440 your will where no gay would dare to look. But really, 0:02:23.760 --> 0:02:28.560 in a toilet tank. There's too much water. There must 0:02:28.600 --> 0:02:31.959 be a valve here, somewhere, Jesus, I set off of 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:39.280 a day. Come on, God, come there. Yeah, we're cooking 0:02:39.320 --> 0:02:43.600 with gas. Haha. A zealed ziplock bag with a folder 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:48.480 inside the second copy of Vandy's will. Smart thinking old man, 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:58.679 let's see here. Oh oh my oh, I wasn't expecting this. 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:08.720 I wasn't expecting this at all. Oh, Fandy, I think 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:12.400 I know who really kills you. Now I have to 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:13.000 prove it. 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:19.600 In a house on him lives a gay and his 0:03:19.760 --> 0:03:21.480 friends want him dead? 0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:22.160 Right? 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:27.760 Why someone wants to kill him even though it's wrong? 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:31.560 Since the world is manner wrong? 0:03:31.880 --> 0:03:39.240 Thanny is born, it's very closely listen with yourris see 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:44.080 if you can guess s which one of these queens 0:03:44.320 --> 0:03:46.080 maybe is the killer? 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:48.720 Who is the killer? 0:03:50.280 --> 0:03:54.840 Who did he? Who wanted dead? 0:03:55.400 --> 0:03:59.560 Who did he? Who crept in his bad? 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:05.120 Was it was it me? 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:06.600 Who could it be? 0:04:08.360 --> 0:04:14.200 Who did it? They're drugging like flies woodin it? 0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:18.719 Lease guy is like guys? 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:19.919 Who did it? 0:04:20.800 --> 0:04:21.520 Who was he? 0:04:22.400 --> 0:04:29.200 What does this word make me? 0:04:29.440 --> 0:04:29.839 Look? 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:42.200 If you recall, precious listener, when we last left off, 0:04:42.279 --> 0:04:45.359 everyone still alive had gathered in the living room. The 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:49.159 storm had stopped, the police were on their way. Reginald 0:04:49.240 --> 0:04:52.200 was tied to one of my regal Theodore Alexander chairs. 0:04:53.200 --> 0:04:56.520 All eyes moved between him and the road, waiting for 0:04:56.560 --> 0:04:58.000 the plows to clear the way. 0:05:00.200 --> 0:05:00.440 Moon. 0:05:01.200 --> 0:05:04.640 Yes, Polly, I say, we get out of here, steal 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:06.599 a pair of boots and start making our way to 0:05:06.640 --> 0:05:07.360 the volkswagon. 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:09.080 Is anyone adding to the airport. 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:11.320 I have a showed this week in Cabo for a 0:05:11.360 --> 0:05:15.760 new adult film in Airy Twater universe, Fantastic Beasts and How. 0:05:15.560 --> 0:05:16.159 To Fuck Them. 0:05:17.120 --> 0:05:18.520 Oh, Henry would have loved it. 0:05:18.760 --> 0:05:21.080 I can't believe we're about to go our separate ways. 0:05:22.080 --> 0:05:25.800 I'm gonna miss all of you, Not you, Reginald, right 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:29.640 back at you, but everyone else. Moon, Polly. Do you 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:30.479 have a concert coming up? 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:31.080 I can attend? 0:05:31.240 --> 0:05:32.680 Oh do we? 0:05:32.839 --> 0:05:33.200 Polly? 0:05:33.760 --> 0:05:35.520 You've been hard to get a hold of these past 0:05:35.520 --> 0:05:39.039 few weeks. I haven't booked us anything new, but I 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:41.919 want to. I hear there's a new coffee shop and 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:45.240 we Dispensary and Weehawken and they're looking for Betty Buckley's 0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:45.919 opening act. 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:49.440 Oh that sounds nice and prestigious. 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:51.400 Well, goodbye everyone, Polly. 0:05:51.520 --> 0:05:54.240 Don't you think that we should wait for the police? 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:57.200 Good question, Moon, James. 0:05:57.320 --> 0:05:59.000 I thought you went back to your cabin. 0:05:59.400 --> 0:06:03.880 I did, but something brought me back into this house 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:09.760 and into Vandy's en suite bathroom. 0:06:08.360 --> 0:06:12.080 Indigestion always, but also. 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:14.760 Vandy's will Gay. 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:21.000 Guess now we already know who the killer is, Reginald, 0:06:21.400 --> 0:06:22.880 the witch who works for the devil. 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:26.640 I don't work for him, you simpleton. It's a partnership 0:06:26.800 --> 0:06:29.400 one where he gets everything and I had to give 0:06:29.480 --> 0:06:33.520 up my soul. We are total equals, except that he 0:06:33.560 --> 0:06:36.520 lives forever, and now I look like a soggy cracker. 0:06:36.760 --> 0:06:41.240 We are the same, okay, girl, Back to what you 0:06:41.279 --> 0:06:45.800 were saying, Jacques, I too thought we'd unmasked the killer. 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:49.719 But if you'll indulge me, I have another theory to propose. 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:54.359 Sure, I'm all ears, I'm mostly old dick, but also 0:06:54.440 --> 0:06:55.360 down to hear what you think. 0:06:55.720 --> 0:06:59.440 It does sound like fun, James, But Polly and I should. 0:06:59.200 --> 0:07:03.239 Go so fast, Jack, move out of our way. 0:07:03.880 --> 0:07:08.000 Nope, I'm parking my massive chest right here until we 0:07:08.080 --> 0:07:09.600 agree to we hear James out. 0:07:09.760 --> 0:07:12.800 It's the least we can do with the famous detective amongst. 0:07:12.560 --> 0:07:19.720 Us amateur amateur detective. But yes, everyone said, find somewhere comfy. 0:07:19.840 --> 0:07:24.200 This might take a minute now that you're all seated. 0:07:24.560 --> 0:07:28.480 Wait a second, there's something hard under my butt. One 0:07:28.520 --> 0:07:32.480 of the dildos from when we matched dildos to pick 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:36.440 partners so that we could we remember remember that clearly 0:07:36.760 --> 0:07:40.960 must have gotten lodged between the cushions. M It feels 0:07:41.000 --> 0:07:42.360 kind of good in my hands. 0:07:42.760 --> 0:07:44.280 Bet it feel even better. 0:07:44.080 --> 0:07:49.440 Up your reginald enough, you certainly seem like the killer, 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:52.160 even though you won't admit it. And it doesn't make 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:54.160 sense why you'd want TJ dead. 0:07:54.400 --> 0:07:57.200 He hates lesbians. He made that quite clear. 0:07:57.480 --> 0:08:01.440 True, But there's more to TJ's death than that. Let's 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:04.960 back up to the night Vandy disappeared. Everyone had dinner 0:08:05.720 --> 0:08:08.840 where Vandy fought openly with Kelly. 0:08:09.200 --> 0:08:10.960 You'd have to kill me to get into one of 0:08:10.960 --> 0:08:11.600 my movies. 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:17.880 Maybe I will, Vandy, maybe will. 0:08:18.520 --> 0:08:20.440 But Kelly wasn't the only one with a motive to 0:08:20.520 --> 0:08:24.880 kill him. Everyone invited had one. There was Henry, who 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:28.080 wanted to build a replica of Hogwarts, only Vandy was 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:31.360 in the way. It was you Shock, who knew about 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:34.240 Vandy's history in porn a history he'd do anything to 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:37.920 cover up. Tush, a trusted servant who wanted to raise 0:08:37.960 --> 0:08:41.599 but never got one. Wilmer who lost his allowance. 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:45.680 And there was Reginald who clearly did it. 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:47.280 And Madam You. 0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:49.920 There was you me. 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:55.800 I told you I needed Vandy alive. He was going 0:08:55.840 --> 0:08:57.199 to produce my new show. 0:08:57.840 --> 0:09:01.360 That's what you said. I was scrubbing through some of 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:06.560 the recorded audio. I heard this, Please hold as I 0:09:06.600 --> 0:09:11.600 opened my laptop recorded audio. What you mean, did I 0:09:11.679 --> 0:09:14.520 not mention every room in this mansion is equipped with 0:09:14.520 --> 0:09:18.720 a hidden microphone that has been recording this entire weekend, 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:23.000 almost every room. Sadly, we didn't think to bug the 0:09:23.000 --> 0:09:31.400 broom closet. Alright, let's see. Let me hm with the WiFi. Ah, yes, 0:09:31.960 --> 0:09:35.440 this is from before everyone arrived. 0:09:36.520 --> 0:09:39.400 No, don't sit me next Moon, I have to break 0:09:39.440 --> 0:09:42.600 bad news to her, very bad news. She will be 0:09:42.640 --> 0:09:44.679 devastating and I will need to be far away from 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:45.800 those are critic nails? 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:51.319 What was this bad news Vandy had to break? Then 0:09:51.400 --> 0:09:54.240 it hit me he was pulling out of your new 0:09:54.280 --> 0:09:57.120 show to put the money into his movie all about Steve. 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:01.040 Wasn't he news show? 0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:04.720 Mooney? What is he talking about? 0:10:05.640 --> 0:10:05.920 Moon? 0:10:06.280 --> 0:10:09.600 Was gonna decimate your duo and go so low? 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:11.080 Did you know that? 0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:13.320 No? I didn't. 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:17.440 It's not true, Polly. I mean I was thinking about 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:20.679 putting together something new, sure, but for both of us, 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:21.720 he has no proof. 0:10:21.840 --> 0:10:25.560 You're right, it was all a hunch until I went 0:10:25.600 --> 0:10:31.280 back into TJ's room just now and found this gay 0:10:31.400 --> 0:10:36.600 Gosh is that a little girl's writing journal? I believe 0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:42.360 it's pronounced girl nol, And yes, it belonged to TJ 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:45.640 may she rest in fleece. I found it in her 0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:51.920 bag next to many many Melissa Ethrich CDs, which I'm 0:10:52.000 --> 0:10:56.280 who even has CDs anymore? Lesbians lesbians do nothing looks 0:10:56.280 --> 0:11:00.840 strange at first, until I noticed the final end had 0:11:00.880 --> 0:11:05.040 been ripped out quick aside. When I was a gay tween, 0:11:05.400 --> 0:11:08.800 I too kept a journal. One day, I wrote an 0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:12.120 entry about crushing on a boy at school. I wanted 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:14.840 nothing more than for him to invite me to his 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:20.600 Broadway themed bar mitzvah. After I finished, I realized that 0:11:20.720 --> 0:11:26.640 my nosy sister Janet might find my journal, so I 0:11:26.720 --> 0:11:29.680 ripped out the entry and threw it away. Only guess what, 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:33.880 When you write, your pen makes indentations on the page. 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:38.840 Depending on the strength of your grip, those indentations might 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:42.480 sink into the page underneath. So even though I threw 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:47.080 away my incriminating entry, Janet used paper and a pencil 0:11:47.160 --> 0:11:50.440 to shade over the indents and figure out what I 0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:58.359 had written, A valuable lesson which I employed in Teja's 0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:01.920 Girl in the bit of Elbow Grease. I was able 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:05.439 to see what she'd written before she died. 0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:10.199 Go on, then, what is I I've had enough Polly. 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:12.520 Let It turns out TJ was going to be the 0:12:12.640 --> 0:12:24.200 stage manager for a new solo show, Your new solo show, Moon, Oh. 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:28.640 Only as of last week, the show was canceled off 0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:33.240 the books. Instead of financing it, Vandy was putting the 0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:37.080 money into his movie. He told TJ so that she 0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:38.240 could look for a new job. 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:41.840 It says, I didn't expect to see Madam Moon here. 0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:45.000 What are the odds I'd have a better chance at 0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:47.800 Lauren Tennis, Champ Martina and Avatarlovo away from her wife. 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:50.720 I mean, I could do it, but it would be tough. 0:12:51.880 --> 0:12:55.240 Moon must be so pissed that Vandy pulled the rug 0:12:55.320 --> 0:12:57.640 out from under her, and I know a thing or 0:12:57.640 --> 0:13:01.280 two about rugs. I'm wondered if I should say something 0:13:01.320 --> 0:13:05.199 to her, or if she wants to pretend we don't 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:09.360 know each other, which is triggering for me, since it's 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:11.760 a relationship dynamic I play out with my cat. 0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:16.560 TJ goes on and on and on. What's clear is 0:13:16.600 --> 0:13:22.400 this she knew your secret, Moon, a secret you desperately 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:23.520 wanted to keep. 0:13:23.720 --> 0:13:26.040 Polly, I can explain. 0:13:25.840 --> 0:13:28.400 Never in a million years did you imagine she'd turn 0:13:28.520 --> 0:13:31.319 up here if she told anyone. The show was off. 0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:34.920 You were suddenly a prime suspect in Vandy's murder. You 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:39.760 already admitted to sleeping with him, so you killed her? No, 0:13:40.440 --> 0:13:43.400 you snuck into her room while we discovered poor Kelly's body. 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:46.360 That's why you were late. All you had to do 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:48.840 was find a way inside, and for that you'd need 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:51.960 the master key. A small task for a skilled thief. 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:52.959 Remember this. 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:56.839 I always had lone ladyfingers, so I was good at 0:13:56.880 --> 0:14:02.160 snatching wallets and watches. I never said that. 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:05.040 Moon, We legitimately just heard you say it on the computer. 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:11.520 It's Ai, My identity is being stolen. Where's sag aftro 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:12.640 when you need them? 0:14:12.960 --> 0:14:14.880 But you slipped up, didn't you? 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:16.400 Is that a trick question? 0:14:16.840 --> 0:14:20.360 The cut marks on TJ's body are incredibly thin, unlike 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:24.040 any knife I'd seen before. That's because it wasn't a 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:26.440 real knife, was it. 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:30.920 I love my creams and serums, and I live to 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:31.920 Derma plane. 0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:33.520 I'm absheshed. 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:36.720 I better if we got your Derma planing blade tested, 0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:42.360 it would have your skin cells and TJ's lesbian blood. 0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:45.520 Fine, fine, you got me? 0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:49.160 I did? I mean? I did? 0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:54.440 I killed TJ? So what Vandy pulled me aside after 0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:58.320 dinner and said that my shows off done dead. It 0:14:58.400 --> 0:15:03.160 was going to be my big break, my big solo break. 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:07.240 It has nothing to do with you, Polly, honestly, but 0:15:07.280 --> 0:15:10.840 I'm ready to stretch my wings, like when Beyonce left 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:15.000 Destiny's Child, or less successfully, when Zane left One Direction. 0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:18.600 Everyone knew Harry was a star, but how could we 0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:20.960 have known that Niall would steal his thunder? 0:15:21.360 --> 0:15:23.840 I'm sorry I didn't. 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:24.400 Tell you, Polly. 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:30.720 So so, yeah, I slayed the Saffog, but I didn't 0:15:30.800 --> 0:15:35.400 kill anyone else. Promise, are we good? 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:38.480 So Moon is the killer? 0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:41.000 What did you have against Tush and Kelly? 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:44.640 Here's where it gets a little twisty turney. Vandy was 0:15:44.680 --> 0:15:47.880 found in the secret passageway connecting his bedroom to the 0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:53.480 one next to it where Moon was sleeping. Only that 0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:55.200 wasn't the room you were a signed? 0:15:55.720 --> 0:15:58.520 Was it the only saving graces I was able to 0:15:58.560 --> 0:16:00.680 switch rooms. I didn't have to see the street. 0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:05.800 I cannot stand the sound of cars. 0:16:06.320 --> 0:16:07.400 No, it wasn't. 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:10.280 I had one close to the road, but I asked 0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:13.560 Polly to suit with me because my ears are sensitive. 0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:17.200 I had no idea there was a secret passageway. 0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:23.000 No, but Polly did, didn't you, Gush. 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:26.040 I have no idea what you're talking about. 0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:29.960 Reginald mentioned something the first night about Vandy that stuck 0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:30.640 in my head. 0:16:31.320 --> 0:16:32.560 What he was falling in love. 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:36.680 Vandy was acting like he was in love. Yes, he 0:16:36.760 --> 0:16:39.680 was scared for his life because his life finally had meaning. 0:16:40.360 --> 0:16:43.480 He was seeing someone, someone he wanted, in the room 0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:46.040 next to him for a secret rendezvous. 0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:50.360 So there is one person I hope is on my side, 0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:55.160 an actual friend, perhaps even something more. 0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:58.000 When Moon asked you to switch rooms with her, you 0:16:58.040 --> 0:17:00.720 wanted to say no, but you couldn't. Could your Polly, 0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:05.560 Otherwise it might raise her suspicion. You realize, though, you 0:17:05.600 --> 0:17:08.080 could knock her out by giving her an extra sleeping 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:12.760 pill before bed. Then you snuck into her room, into 0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:18.280 the secret passageway and met Vandy, And by met, I 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:22.919 mean poisoned his brandy and killed him gaging. And you 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:26.359 didn't need arsenic from Tusha's supply in the kitchen, Ye 0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:30.880 had your own. That's why we found two bottles, because 0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:37.040 arsenic is used to clean vintage pianos, doesn't. 0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:40.679 It, As far as I know, Polly is a sexual. 0:17:41.240 --> 0:17:44.439 Unless you can suck a piano. All it does is 0:17:44.480 --> 0:17:46.600 restore old ones in his free time. 0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:51.800 This is insane. I won't stand here while you defame me, James. 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:56.280 It's not defamation if it's the truth. Polly Rebel Wilson 0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:59.440 learned that the hard way. You knew about Vandy's plan 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:01.840 to catch his killer because he told you all about it. 0:18:02.359 --> 0:18:06.440 He loved you and trusted you. You were the only 0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:09.080 person he invited who he didn't think wanted him dead. 0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:17.639 Polly unworried a mayheus. We don't know who's listening. 0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:20.240 That's why I could never get the murders on tape. 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:23.240 You knew about the microphones, and you knew you couldn't 0:18:23.240 --> 0:18:25.960 open his bedroom door, so you left the way. You 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:29.960 came through the secret passageway and out Moon's door into 0:18:30.000 --> 0:18:32.840 the hall. If anyone saw you, they'd think you were 0:18:32.840 --> 0:18:33.720 sleeping with Moon. 0:18:34.560 --> 0:18:37.680 But no one did see me, because that never happened. 0:18:38.000 --> 0:18:44.120 Oh but someone did, Paulie. Someone did. Our fallen German 0:18:44.320 --> 0:18:46.119 friend Tush. 0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:49.400 You see a lot when your job involves midnight snacks 0:18:49.400 --> 0:18:50.320 and loo bruns. 0:18:50.760 --> 0:18:54.000 He threatened to expose you, didn't he unless you paid 0:18:54.040 --> 0:18:57.000 him off. You turned him down at first, but he 0:18:57.160 --> 0:19:00.600 suspected you'd cave, which is why he didn't say anything 0:19:00.600 --> 0:19:03.840 when we tied him up, and you made sure he 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:08.600 stayed quiet by killing him. That's why all we got 0:19:08.600 --> 0:19:11.080 on the audio tape from your room that night was this. 0:19:13.680 --> 0:19:17.359 He found the mic and unplugged it while Tush confronted him. 0:19:17.359 --> 0:19:20.920 Okay, gasp, how absurd? 0:19:21.720 --> 0:19:26.960 Oh? Then what's your explanation? If the microphone wasn't tampered with? 0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:32.080 Why don't we hear anything from your room? 0:19:32.520 --> 0:19:33.240 How should I know? 0:19:33.600 --> 0:19:36.320 And it's why Tush was murdered in the broom closet. 0:19:36.480 --> 0:19:40.040 You knew nobody would hear. Kelly thought it was a vampire. 0:19:40.200 --> 0:19:44.159 But the prongs on Tush's neck were from a tuning fork. 0:19:44.600 --> 0:19:49.000 Weren't they something a master musician like yourself would surely carry? 0:19:49.440 --> 0:19:54.280 Lies I don't carry a tuning fork, Paulie. 0:19:55.320 --> 0:19:57.040 What just fell out of your pants? 0:19:57.320 --> 0:19:58.280 A tuning fork? 0:19:58.400 --> 0:19:58.800 Fine? 0:19:59.240 --> 0:20:01.360 Holy sha, I'm hard as a rock. 0:20:01.880 --> 0:20:05.520 What about Kelly? That confused me too? Kelly was a 0:20:05.600 --> 0:20:10.040 dumb dumb and the perfect scapegoat. Why kill him? But 0:20:10.160 --> 0:20:15.000 he was an unfortunate casualty. Wasn't he wrong place, wrong time? 0:20:15.200 --> 0:20:18.120 More like wrong? Detective wrong? Suspect. 0:20:18.560 --> 0:20:19.520 Why all the loop? 0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:21.840 Why was Kelly covert and stuff? 0:20:22.119 --> 0:20:24.679 Honestly, I don't think the loop had anything to do 0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:28.000 with the murder. Kelly got hungry started eating his own 0:20:28.000 --> 0:20:32.399 supply it was flavored. After all that tracks there was 0:20:32.480 --> 0:20:34.840 someone in that room you were trying to kill though, 0:20:35.560 --> 0:20:40.439 isn't that right, Paully? No Angela Lance Fairy? 0:20:42.240 --> 0:20:47.240 Oh my god, although she was really annoying. 0:20:47.760 --> 0:20:50.160 Why would Paulie want to murder a bird? 0:20:50.720 --> 0:20:54.080 Great question, but I have a little more to get 0:20:54.080 --> 0:20:56.200 through first, and the bird stuff is a super cool 0:20:56.240 --> 0:20:58.439 reveal I'm saving till the end. So back to Kelly. 0:20:58.880 --> 0:21:02.199 We never discovered what kind of wire Kelly was murdered with, 0:21:03.200 --> 0:21:07.760 That is until your and Moon's most recent performance. 0:21:08.800 --> 0:21:11.720 Polly, how I'd like you to make a mistake. 0:21:12.200 --> 0:21:16.280 You used a piano wire to strangle Kelly, didn't you. 0:21:17.760 --> 0:21:20.760 Moon wanted to celebrate with a song, but you didn't 0:21:20.760 --> 0:21:25.400 want to play because you knew there was a string missing, 0:21:26.280 --> 0:21:26.640 you know. 0:21:26.880 --> 0:21:31.320 James, for someone with no real experience in sleuthing has 0:21:31.320 --> 0:21:33.840 been thrown into this mess without a life jacket. 0:21:33.960 --> 0:21:37.600 I'm quite impressed if I wasn't tied up. 0:21:37.480 --> 0:21:40.920 At this particular moment didn't have the body of well gollum, 0:21:41.960 --> 0:21:42.439 I don't know. 0:21:44.080 --> 0:21:46.640 I'd fuck you, I think, Oh thanks. 0:21:46.520 --> 0:21:50.600 I've let you go on far too long. You've lost 0:21:50.600 --> 0:21:53.600 your mind. No wonder you can't finish a novel. Your 0:21:53.680 --> 0:21:55.440 head's full of gauze and salt. 0:21:55.480 --> 0:21:57.879 Me all you want, Polly, It doesn't change the truth. 0:21:58.920 --> 0:22:01.959 I think you found out Moon was going solo, and 0:22:02.040 --> 0:22:06.320 the idea crushed you. You've been obsessed with Moon for years. 0:22:07.080 --> 0:22:08.680 It was bad enough he didn't want to be your lover. 0:22:09.240 --> 0:22:12.200 If he left the act, you'd have nothing. So you 0:22:12.240 --> 0:22:15.439 seduced Vandy, got him to break up with Moon and 0:22:15.600 --> 0:22:19.120 pull out of his show. That way he'd be forced 0:22:19.280 --> 0:22:23.040 to stay with you. Then, out of pure animosity for 0:22:23.080 --> 0:22:28.560 trying to steal Moon away, you tortured Vandy, terrified him 0:22:28.800 --> 0:22:30.280 until you finish the job. 0:22:31.240 --> 0:22:32.680 Killed him. 0:22:32.800 --> 0:22:34.200 Oh well, he thought you loved. 0:22:34.080 --> 0:22:35.320 Him, poor Deed. 0:22:35.840 --> 0:22:38.360 That's horrible. 0:22:40.040 --> 0:22:44.160 You're mean, Paly, You're a mean, mean person. 0:22:44.320 --> 0:22:46.879 Oh choke on a dick, Wilmer ha. 0:22:47.640 --> 0:22:52.439 I already have and I survived, not just survived. 0:22:52.359 --> 0:22:53.600 I thrived. 0:22:54.000 --> 0:22:59.760 Here guys, Look is that Vandy's will? It is indeed 0:23:00.200 --> 0:23:03.680 the first copy, the one in his safe was burned. 0:23:04.560 --> 0:23:08.120 I'm guessing by you, Polly, as it names you as 0:23:08.200 --> 0:23:12.879 the sole beneficiary of his estate. Gay Gas, But you 0:23:12.920 --> 0:23:16.920 didn't want Vandy's money, did you? You just wanted moon 0:23:17.240 --> 0:23:21.600 all to yourself. Better to let everyone think Reginald was 0:23:21.640 --> 0:23:24.440 the one to benefit from Vandy's death. If the will 0:23:24.600 --> 0:23:28.520 was never found, he's most likely to inherit everything, the 0:23:28.600 --> 0:23:31.080 perfect motive to exterminate Bandy. 0:23:31.400 --> 0:23:34.600 I told you all along, I did not do it. 0:23:34.680 --> 0:23:38.520 But Vandy left a second copy of his will. Cake 0:23:38.600 --> 0:23:40.720 Gas didn't expect that, did You. 0:23:40.920 --> 0:23:42.720 Don't mean to speak on you'll be off, bully, but 0:23:42.800 --> 0:23:44.000 certainly seems like he didn't. 0:23:44.359 --> 0:23:46.399 There must have been the tiniest seed of doubt in 0:23:46.520 --> 0:23:50.960 Vandy's mind about you, Polly. So this was his backup, 0:23:51.800 --> 0:23:57.760 His estate and his fortune is left to Peter Buddino. 0:23:57.600 --> 0:23:59.760 Eating gay or gay gasp. 0:24:00.080 --> 0:24:02.240 Wait, who the hell is Peter Bambino? 0:24:02.359 --> 0:24:02.919 Badino? 0:24:03.520 --> 0:24:04.640