WEBVTT - EP 323: Throbbing Crotch Syndrome 0:00:02.560 --> 0:00:05.760 Guess what decision We're about to make. Horrible decision. 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:14.120 They say everything is bigger in Texas. 0:00:13.039 --> 0:00:14.120 So we want to see it. 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:17.319 We are coming back to Texas for our Climax Tour. 0:00:18.000 --> 0:00:20.040 Please come and see us because I'm gonna tell you 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:23.040 right now. When we were in Houston and Dallas. 0:00:22.800 --> 0:00:23.759 Didn't we didn't get enough. 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:26.239 Remember we went to the Strip Club, we did a 0:00:26.239 --> 0:00:28.240 little me Agree, we did the Deep Lum Vibe. 0:00:28.360 --> 0:00:31.520 We need more and we're coming back Houston July sixth. 0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:33.440 We're gonna be at the House of Blues, and in 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:35.879 Dallas we're gonna be at the Factory in Deep LM. 0:00:36.640 --> 0:00:39.680 That's right, that's right. So we need all of the 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:42.600 hot girls to come on out. If you have not yet, 0:00:43.080 --> 0:00:48.680 go to horhive dot com, click on Houston or Dallas 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:51.879 and baby, we want to come see y'all turn up 0:00:51.880 --> 0:00:53.840 and turn out. That's right, So go to horror hid 0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:57.640 dot com and get your tickets for the Climax stour. 0:00:58.400 --> 0:00:59.320 See you guys. 0:00:59.080 --> 0:01:00.000 There, do you? 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:06.720 Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Horriblay the Sizzy own. 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:09.840 Mandy's only doing that because one of my fans was like, 0:01:09.920 --> 0:01:11.480 I don't like when you don't do it, bitch. 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:14.240 They love my love eggs and how hey, you know 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:15.080 I'm your girl. 0:01:15.280 --> 0:01:18.880 Mandy baka Full Corp Pumps aka Debt Bitch aka pant 0:01:18.880 --> 0:01:20.640 the Stallion, Puss, the Hope. 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:22.080 What's up, y'all, I'm weazy. 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:25.200 Welcome back to another episode of the best sex podcast 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:27.319 on the planet, on the planet in the world. That's 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:28.880 what the girl said to me on the subway today. 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:31.160 And really we know that because you know, we just 0:01:31.240 --> 0:01:34.680 came back from touring the Midwest or whatever, and we 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:37.680 saw all the whore hive and it was great. 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:40.720 One girl in particular in Cincinnati said something that no 0:01:40.720 --> 0:01:43.240 one's ever said, at least to my face. I'm sure 0:01:43.280 --> 0:01:45.600 people have said it maybe online, but like she was like, 0:01:45.600 --> 0:01:47.160 thank you for sharing your lives. 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:49.919 Yeah that was with me. Yeah not I do live. 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:54.080 Y'all our lives and it was nice to hear, because yeah, 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:55.600 like that should be taxing as fuck. 0:01:55.840 --> 0:01:58.080 No, it really is. And I know people feel like 0:01:58.120 --> 0:01:59.960 making of podcasts a lot of work. 0:02:00.640 --> 0:02:03.480 This shit is, well, I think it's more work actually, 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:06.200 and I think this is why we get the response 0:02:06.280 --> 0:02:09.160 to I think it's more work to be vulnerable. It's 0:02:09.240 --> 0:02:12.320 more work to come on here and say things that 0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:15.960 are super embarrassing that we know what the people are 0:02:16.000 --> 0:02:18.400 gonna judge us for that. 0:02:18.480 --> 0:02:21.799 We know probably years later we will look. 0:02:21.680 --> 0:02:24.320 Back and be like, what the fuck we I mean, 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:26.520 we look back at the stories we tell ours that 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:28.760 we've told on this podcast, and it's like, damn, we 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:30.160 look back at the niggas. 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:33.520 That we loved and don't love No mo, Like, damn, 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:35.079 I mad I gave him that much. Motherfucker. 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:37.280 When I tell you I have a feeling, I'm gonna 0:02:37.320 --> 0:02:39.560 see it ovay soon, and like you know when you 0:02:39.639 --> 0:02:41.680 feel it coming, like I'm not trying to manifest it. 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:43.399 I just know it's coming because I'm in New York. 0:02:43.680 --> 0:02:48.760 By the way, not saying fuck la, but bitch, my 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:51.400 serotonin levels have been up so high with us the 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:52.960 summer stop. 0:02:53.360 --> 0:02:55.519 I know, melatonin make you go to sleep, so seratonin 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:56.040 keep you up. 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:01.480 But just so, do you know what tone, oxytocin, dopamine, 0:03:01.480 --> 0:03:03.440 the things that make you up, happy, feel in love 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:06.520 and like it's the it's we talked about serotonin. Actually, 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:10.120 when you're and you were feeling depressed, I said, oh 0:03:10.120 --> 0:03:11.960 my god, you have to take five htp to make 0:03:12.000 --> 0:03:12.600 your serotonin. 0:03:12.639 --> 0:03:13.200 Go back up. 0:03:13.520 --> 0:03:15.400 Ooh, bitch, man, I spelt it wrong. I put s 0:03:15.440 --> 0:03:17.480 e r a bitch like Sarah Fina. 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:22.400 But it's serotonin chemical that carries messages between nerve cells 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:24.800 and the brain and throughout the body. Okay, it's given 0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:27.240 what I feel when my body hurt after riding dick, 0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:28.360 which I did do. 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:29.359 Is that serotonin? 0:03:30.280 --> 0:03:33.160 No, So basically no New York because if you be 0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:35.119 carrying the messages to my nerve cells, that bitch. 0:03:35.120 --> 0:03:36.360 I don't want to do that again. 0:03:38.200 --> 0:03:40.000 It can't be that bad, bro, it was that bad. 0:03:40.040 --> 0:03:41.200 It's still a dick in you. 0:03:41.720 --> 0:03:43.839 It can't be that bad. Oh no, no, no, no no. 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:45.080 When the dick is in me, it's great. 0:03:45.320 --> 0:03:47.720 I'm talking about the after effects, like what my body 0:03:47.720 --> 0:03:49.960 feels like after like we you know, we do our 0:03:49.960 --> 0:03:51.360 thirty now, you know, like when you go out to 0:03:51.400 --> 0:03:52.480 the club and you. 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:54.240 Just dance it, twerk it. 0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:57.280 When I called the police when I was fucked up 0:03:57.280 --> 0:03:58.120 the next day, remember that. 0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:00.600 No, I ain't tell you no story. I was so 0:04:00.680 --> 0:04:01.840 hungover I called the police. 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:03.800 Why did you call the police? So I thought I 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:06.760 was going to I'm not playing with you, talk about Jose. 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:08.080 Serotonin. No, no dead. 0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:10.120 I I think I shared it. I went out, went 0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:12.600 to the box, went to some other fucking underground club. 0:04:12.640 --> 0:04:14.280 I thought it was a Mexican restaurant, but it ended 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:16.680 up being a club. Walked outside. I was like, who 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:18.240 turned the lights on? It was nine in the morning 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:22.440 and I had literally been partying seven pm till nine am. 0:04:22.560 --> 0:04:24.479 So you called the cops? Are telling yourself? No, I 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:26.720 thought I was dying of an overdose or something. 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:29.559 Oh wow, I woke up. I was like, I feel 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:32.440 so dizzy. This can't be alcohol. I have to be dying. 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:34.479 But did you remember who you got it from? Okay, 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:35.320 it wasn't anything. 0:04:35.320 --> 0:04:37.880 It was just like, so I woke up drunk and 0:04:37.920 --> 0:04:39.360 I was like, I have to call the police. Then 0:04:39.440 --> 0:04:41.160 once I got on the phone when N'm on one 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:43.120 and they said, what's your emergency, I was like, let me. 0:04:43.839 --> 0:04:47.080 That's a miss, that's a mission. I was fucked up anyway, 0:04:47.520 --> 0:04:50.520 so not like literally. One of my close friends was like, 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:52.320 does anyone want a luxury one bedroom It comes to 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:54.359 the Tesla, take it for two months. I do not 0:04:54.400 --> 0:04:55.800 want to go back to La and I actually have 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:57.840 to go back for work. But I am just like, 0:04:58.480 --> 0:05:01.640 I don't know maybe because okay, it could be two things. Okay, 0:05:01.800 --> 0:05:05.120 I'm hotter because I'm getting more fit. Two it's a 0:05:05.160 --> 0:05:08.279 New York summer. Niggas is hungry, So am I fine? 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:10.080 Or a nigga's on my dick? Or what's going on 0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:13.200 while my insuweek because bitch, I'm so happy right now, 0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:16.000 Like me and Nina have been walking around like oh too, Nordla. 0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:16.960 Asked, I ain't gonna hold you. 0:05:17.040 --> 0:05:19.600 I am booked like almost every weekend for the next 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:22.400 four weeks, and one of my bookings I had to 0:05:22.480 --> 0:05:25.279 be like, I want to be in New York for 0:05:25.279 --> 0:05:27.479 the goddamn weekend. I need to meet these niggas. The 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:30.920 layout is happening at the park. How much is the booking? 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:34.840 Because if it's not enough sufficiently for me, I'm just 0:05:34.839 --> 0:05:36.280 gonna pass on after to be. 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:37.520 A T weekend. I don't even want to be in 0:05:37.680 --> 0:05:40.000 LA for b T we beach. I mean a niggas 0:05:40.000 --> 0:05:40.400 gonna be there. 0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:42.440 I'm alright with be a T weekend, maybe because I've 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:46.080 been doing it the HUSB. I just like, we'll see anyway. 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:48.760 I am what was I gonna say? So for our 0:05:48.839 --> 0:05:51.720 London high we have so much London Horror Hive. I 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:53.200 talked about it on Patreon, but I really want to 0:05:53.200 --> 0:05:56.320 give a shout out to DLT. It's this party. I 0:05:56.320 --> 0:05:58.320 guess it's called Days like This in London. I'd never 0:05:58.360 --> 0:06:00.719 fucking heard of it before, but I went to London 0:06:00.720 --> 0:06:02.800 for the linkup that my boy Andre Power does so 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:04.920 much fun. Mad Horror Hive came to see me. Some 0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:06.240 girls shout out to the girl that drove for two 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:06.800 or three hours. 0:06:06.800 --> 0:06:07.640 That was insane. 0:06:07.920 --> 0:06:09.920 But literally we're just kicking it there. We go see 0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:11.200 be honest, I'm like, nigg what else should we do? 0:06:11.200 --> 0:06:13.880 He's like, boom, there's this party in Malta, super black, 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:17.040 so much fun. I really want to fucking do our 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:19.159 show there next year because you know we're not doing 0:06:19.240 --> 0:06:20.680 tour game bitch, but I'll go to Malta. 0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:21.560 Oh my god. 0:06:21.680 --> 0:06:25.320 But literally, by the way, y'all, we didn't announce this 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:27.080 goddamn towards our final one. 0:06:27.480 --> 0:06:27.760 Bitch. 0:06:27.839 --> 0:06:30.120 Y'all know we added Boston, so we will be in 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:33.200 Boston in November. We're working on Bitch, trying to add 0:06:33.240 --> 0:06:35.560 about two three most shows. I'm like, so, bitch, you 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:38.040 just want to keep adding shows. It's like the final 0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:41.600 Final fun. She just keeps trying to add shows. I'm like, oh, okay, 0:06:41.839 --> 0:06:43.680 heard you. I'm going to hold you up thinking about Miami. 0:06:43.680 --> 0:06:45.760 You know what I mean? What I mean so anyway, 0:06:47.040 --> 0:06:47.480 not but. 0:06:47.880 --> 0:06:50.000 I you know, I went to Europe, came back and 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:53.120 like literally was in Europe. I hate I cannot be 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:56.159 on saying this on the beach Mediterranean Sea, this fucking 0:06:56.200 --> 0:06:58.880 lid ass room to myself terrace and I was like, wow, 0:06:58.920 --> 0:07:00.000 I wish I was in New York right now. 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:00.839 Oh wow. 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:02.640 And I have plans to be in Europe. I'm going 0:07:02.680 --> 0:07:05.640 to London in July and Paris because you know that's 0:07:05.720 --> 0:07:06.800 my favorite place in the world. 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:07.600 I can't see you. 0:07:07.520 --> 0:07:08.920 Based on some real shit, I don't even want to 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:10.800 go anywhere. Like I just want to be in the 0:07:10.800 --> 0:07:12.360 streets in New York. I want to be a fucking 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:16.640 hop and yeah, like my pussy and my body and 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:19.200 everything feels open. I feel like maybe content will get 0:07:19.200 --> 0:07:21.240 better because I'm ready to be a fucking home. It's 0:07:21.280 --> 0:07:24.840 so crazy because like I want to be a Dayton hope, 0:07:25.080 --> 0:07:28.600 like I do not like and I thought about this 0:07:28.680 --> 0:07:34.160 when we were in Detroit, Cincinnati dating Chicago. I'm like 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:38.000 there's niggas that I've fucked in these cities. Nothing about 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:40.240 anything made me want to hit them up to just 0:07:40.400 --> 0:07:41.520 give them pussy again. 0:07:41.600 --> 0:07:42.960 You fucking again? Cincinnati. 0:07:43.160 --> 0:07:47.120 No, not in nat City, but there was. I was 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:49.040 calling to see if anybody was around. 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:51.720 But no, I didn't fuck anyone in Cincinnati, but clearly 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:52.680 Detroit and Chicago. 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:57.560 And so I realized that I want to. 0:07:57.480 --> 0:08:01.960 Go on dates. But you know that's a part of 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:02.560 my whole base. 0:08:02.720 --> 0:08:06.080 Well, no, I'm saying though, I am having a huge 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:11.120 serotonin issue in my brain with the idea of just 0:08:11.240 --> 0:08:12.480 sucking a nigga off GP. 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:13.680 Call back, you know what I mean. 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:17.000 So a part of me is like, Okay, I got 0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:20.240 if y'all wanna Patreon, I talked about the nigga that's 0:08:20.240 --> 0:08:21.080 back in the picture. 0:08:21.800 --> 0:08:24.360 I got him once. Maybe not make your ex pay 0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:26.360 five dollars to hear it, and he. 0:08:26.320 --> 0:08:29.400 Can, and he can because y'all ain't never gonna hear 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:30.160 about that nigg again. 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:30.800 I'm not gonna lie the. 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:34.480 Same way you feel like, like nervous about running into obey. 0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:37.120 I feel like I'm to the point where if I 0:08:37.160 --> 0:08:38.640 see this nigga, I'm gonna spin on it. 0:08:38.760 --> 0:08:41.600 Remember, so he's gonna throw something like the way you felt, 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:42.720 and you're like, I can't believe you. 0:08:42.720 --> 0:08:45.920 Want to come in at I mean, that's a man 0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:49.040 to be doing every time, just me doing every time. 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:52.520 I said, I ain't gonna hold you. But that nigga 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:56.760 from the back with no loom, I hate him. And 0:08:56.800 --> 0:09:01.160 it's crazy because it's I realized that few things like 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:05.479 so basically, y'all, there was a barber. 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:08.320 This is Shirley incident that took place a couple of weeks. 0:09:08.080 --> 0:09:14.720 Ago, and I found out that there were multiple other women, 0:09:15.080 --> 0:09:18.120 one being the goddamn bartender from the goddamn sex club. 0:09:18.520 --> 0:09:21.240 Two of the other women also being from the sex club. 0:09:21.520 --> 0:09:24.360 So part of me felt like, ooh, I opened up 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:25.800 this can of worms. 0:09:25.920 --> 0:09:27.520 He clearly didn't know how to handle it. 0:09:28.040 --> 0:09:30.640 Mind you, the fucking bartender bitch is the one who 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:32.520 told me he went there when I was in Jamaica. 0:09:32.720 --> 0:09:34.880 So it's like, but you'll be smalling on my back, 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:36.760 but heard you heard you? Well? 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:40.880 To me, what I realized is do I know finding No, 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:44.640 you don't me finding out about the other women what 0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:47.040 didn't even upset me, Like when the girl called me, 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:48.760 I was like yeah, girl, here go my number. So 0:09:48.840 --> 0:09:51.080 we on the phone and I was like, so, what's 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:55.800 crazy is he had became so like, I don't want 0:09:55.800 --> 0:09:59.400 to say upset, but insecure with my travel schedule, us 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:02.160 going on tour, your Black Effect festival. 0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:03.520 I was just on tour with he. 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:05.760 The thing is, and he was just becoming more and 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:07.920 more like irritated that. 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:09.920 I was like, oh, waste so much. Why not just 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:13.440 bring him bitch? I invited him so bet so, okay, 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:14.240 you don't want to come. 0:10:14.280 --> 0:10:16.240 Maybe your funds ain't like that to just be hopping 0:10:16.240 --> 0:10:18.400 on flights because I ain't flying you out, nigga. So 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:22.880 I literally said, hey, if you are in that much 0:10:23.040 --> 0:10:27.679 need of touch or sex or intimacy, like I will 0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:31.480 go find someone to you know, be with while I'm gone. 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:32.719 I'm fine with that. 0:10:32.800 --> 0:10:34.880 Like we didn't share it all that, So I gave him, 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:37.200 which then I guess we went from swinging to open, 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:43.280 and he swore down that it's not all about sex. 0:10:43.440 --> 0:10:48.160 He doesn't need sex. He just didn't want you to fuck. 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:51.600 That's exactly what the fuck I thought. 0:10:51.679 --> 0:10:54.640 So I was like, heard you. So I'm like, okay, 0:10:54.840 --> 0:10:59.079 I'm mind you. Every time I traveled, he gave me attitude. 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:01.280 He was real short and felt like I wasn't telling 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:04.240 him everything, and it was like, oh, I see now, 0:11:04.320 --> 0:11:06.559 it was a projection that you was out here running 0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:08.520 a muck in these goddamn streets. 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:08.760 Bro. 0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:10.319 I found out he was at the sex club he 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:12.240 met the girl that called me you said that time 0:11:12.280 --> 0:11:14.559 that year. He met her the night before he joined 0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:17.200 me in Columbia. Told this bitch she was going to 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:20.079 Columbia for suits. Bitch, he was with me for my teeth, 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:23.160 pus a hole. And so I'm literally looking at the 0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:26.480 timeline and I was like, ooh, this motherfucker suits. He 0:11:26.520 --> 0:11:27.520 said he was going for suits. 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:30.440 Say this, nigga, he said he was going for suits. 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:33.760 So I realized, too, it's not the other women that 0:11:33.840 --> 0:11:36.840 bothers me, and I actually wondered for all, like the 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:41.120 celebrity wives and wives of these influential people that know 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:45.200 their niggas is out here fucking off. To me, what 0:11:45.320 --> 0:11:48.520 really bothered me was the lie, because I've asked him 0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:50.280 multiple multiple times. 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:51.160 Who is she like? Bitch? 0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:53.360 I w wasn't try to get motherfucker tested because now 0:11:53.360 --> 0:11:55.280 I found out there was like four other women that 0:11:55.360 --> 0:11:57.080 I know you weren't he was in condoms with That's 0:11:57.120 --> 0:11:59.920 my problem, Like I wanted to know if there were 0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:02.480 other women, because then we need to move a little differently. 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:04.319 But also if you have all these other women, I 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:06.080 maybe would have had somebody else on the side who 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:07.720 could have been more available when you weren't. 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:10.920 Like to me, it was just the idea that he 0:12:11.000 --> 0:12:13.439 lied to me. I'll be completely honest with you. 0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:18.160 I now don't know what to believe because of how 0:12:18.600 --> 0:12:21.920 I found out lies through where he said he was 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:23.959 where he wasn't like bitch you he just went to 0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:26.040 Panama for suits. 0:12:26.080 --> 0:12:28.200 To me, he was with the bitch that called me 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:33.400 what a fucking piece of shit. So to me, I'm 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:35.959 just like, mind you why suits his line? 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:38.120 I don't know because he a big nigga and they 0:12:38.280 --> 0:12:39.520 you know, they be acting like big and. 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:41.520 Tall stores ate you don't exist, this says. 0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:43.800 I don't know when I brought this up, but it's 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:46.800 coming back to me someone in my life. I don't 0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:49.160 think someone said this that we were recording with that 0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:51.680 They were like, a man has to have three things 0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:57.400 for full security, and it's height, money, and their dick size. 0:12:57.440 --> 0:13:00.840 It's not looks. And I wonder if I think it's women. 0:13:01.280 --> 0:13:02.160 I'm not at the dick side. 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:05.560 No, no, no, it was these things make a man feel 0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:08.840 very secure with themselves, height, money, and dick size. And 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:12.960 I remember the dick size things specifically because one of 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:15.800 my old bosses, when I fucked the my Latino X 0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:18.280 the when that left me for Jesus, she was like, 0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:20.240 I know he has a big dick. His confidence is 0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:22.200 so high, is so high. And I was like, well, 0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:24.079 he's tall and it's huge. She's like, no, I know he. 0:13:24.080 --> 0:13:27.320 Is a big dick, right, And literally you're just making 0:13:27.360 --> 0:13:27.680 me think. 0:13:27.679 --> 0:13:31.080 It's like your ex is tall and conventionally attractive, so 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:31.600 it's like. 0:13:32.000 --> 0:13:33.280 Maybe got bomb dick. 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:36.400 Maybe he feels inferior to you when it comes to 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:39.200 money one maybe that'll never be. 0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:41.240 But you know, you want to know what's a crazy 0:13:41.280 --> 0:13:41.640 thing too. 0:13:42.600 --> 0:13:45.720 I had a conversation with my homeboy who's married, and 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:49.080 we were talking about, you know, everything that happened, and 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:53.120 he was like, you gave him too much freedom, he said, 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:55.560 because he cheats and a lot. 0:13:55.400 --> 0:13:56.719 Of the married men that I know, what did I 0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:57.120 tell you? 0:13:57.160 --> 0:14:00.520 And he to he literally said, he said, you know 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:04.480 what men sheet because there's an excitement in getting caught, 0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:07.440 and I said, oh, you nasty, dirty fucks, because I'm like, 0:14:07.720 --> 0:14:10.440 so there's an excitement and potentially hurting the person that 0:14:10.440 --> 0:14:13.000 you're They talked about this on Patreon. We talked about 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:15.440 there being a very fine life. No, we didn't talk 0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:18.120 about we talked about it here right here. And I 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:21.520 literally said, you can't give them everything because they don't 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:23.240 know what to do with it if men don't have 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:25.280 boundaries and guidelines in their relationship. 0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:28.240 But I and that I think is the problem. To me. 0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:33.600 A I communicated boundaries, I commune, I verbally committed guidelines. 0:14:33.720 --> 0:14:36.440 When he did things that I didn't like, I vocalized 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:39.520 those things. So to me, the boundary like there's there 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:41.600 were a lot of boundaries that I set forth. It's 0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:43.320 not like I said, go run them up, go be 0:14:43.400 --> 0:14:46.040 with whoever the fuck you want to. I set clear boundaries, 0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:47.560 and I let him know what things would hurt me, 0:14:47.840 --> 0:14:50.440 what things I didn't like, what things I wouldn't tolerate. 0:14:50.520 --> 0:14:52.600 So do you disagree that you didn't give him too much? No? 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:55.800 No, My problem is he lied about what he was 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:58.560 really doing. And so to me, even after talking to 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:02.480 the other woman, there were also just things that were said, 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:05.240 things that made me feel secure, and the things he 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:08.000 was saying he was saying to her so which means 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:09.840 he was probably saying it to the other two three 0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:13.520 bitches as well, and so to me, I'm like questioning 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:14.960 our entire relationship. 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:18.040 What was real? What was a lie? Did he really 0:15:18.080 --> 0:15:22.000 love me? Oh? Well no? 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:25.640 Actually, what's crazy is I'm I'm I feel like this 0:15:25.800 --> 0:15:29.200 was so traumatic. I literally actually called Bennie today crying 0:15:30.080 --> 0:15:33.040 and I was like, Bennie, just thank you, like and 0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:34.520 I don't want to cry now, but I'm in like 0:15:34.840 --> 0:15:37.320 such peace right now because I've been so let down, 0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:39.680 Like I've been let down by a lot of people 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:41.320 in the last couple of years. 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:45.440 Normally I would have stressed about us, the flights are 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:47.920 gonna get delayed, bro. 0:15:48.160 --> 0:15:49.280 And I wasn't even on drugs. 0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:52.840 I was a little I was a little funky, but 0:15:53.000 --> 0:15:55.080 I literally and you know, I thanked you because it 0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:56.880 was so much fun. And I talked to my therapist 0:15:56.920 --> 0:15:59.240 today and I was like, this is my first time 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:01.040 probably in life that I'm at peace. 0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:01.640 I said. 0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:04.600 Weezy says she got to push the recording back thirty 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:05.440 minutes and I said girl. 0:16:05.480 --> 0:16:05.960 Okay. 0:16:06.480 --> 0:16:09.840 We was on tour and everything was just like it's 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:12.880 gonna work, and I realized how little control I have, 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:16.600 But I also realized how much power I gave him 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:20.960 at one time. You bridget my friends, my other lovers, 0:16:21.320 --> 0:16:24.560 the power to literally bring up bring out such an 0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:27.040 anxiety that brought out all these other emotions. And I 0:16:27.120 --> 0:16:30.360 was like, as much as in control that I felt 0:16:30.480 --> 0:16:32.400 I was in so many aspects of my life. 0:16:33.080 --> 0:16:34.040 I was like, bitch, I'm. 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:37.800 Letting everybody really run my mood, my emotions, my anxiety. 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:39.600 And I said, I'm just in a place now where 0:16:39.600 --> 0:16:42.760 I'm not planning seeds. I'm allowing the fruits of my labor. 0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:42.960 Bitch. 0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:45.160 I literally hit up my manager today, I said, what's 0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:46.760 that book? And how much is the fort? Because I 0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:48.600 just got invited to Ghana and I think I want 0:16:48.600 --> 0:16:50.880 to go to Ghana. Like the way you moved, like 0:16:50.920 --> 0:16:52.680 there was an envy for a long time too, and 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:54.440 just how you're like, bitch, I'm going here. 0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:55.920 I want to go here. I want to go here. 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:59.560 And there was so much emphasis on me planting seeds 0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:00.000