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Speaker 1: I'm actively sabotaging my company because my boss is a

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Speaker 1: freaking moron.

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Speaker 2: I hope they fire me.

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Speaker 3: You know, there's something beautiful about burning the ship from

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Speaker 3: the inside, you know, while you're inside.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, you're inside, you know, maybe like yourself, a

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Speaker 1: little crispy.

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Speaker 2: It's a valiant thing. You're like.

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Speaker 3: I hate you to go down with the ship. I'm

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Speaker 3: willing to go down with you. That's how much I

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Speaker 3: hate you. I'm willing to go down on you. Oh God,

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Speaker 3: all the way down under where it's real.

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Speaker 2: Wet, all right, stop talking about my girlfriend.

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Speaker 3: Oh god, man, we have we have upgraded so quickly.

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Speaker 3: I went on a date with an Australian girl.

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Speaker 2: Actually this is also weeks later too.

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Speaker 1: This is weeks later. This is petty, and I don't care.

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Speaker 1: I've worked at a company for two years. In that time,

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Speaker 1: I've gone from an incredible asset to the company to

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Speaker 1: babysitter out. Not the promotion she was hoping for. I

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Speaker 1: wish I was joking. This company is owned by several people,

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Speaker 1: but managed by a relative to the higher ups, so

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Speaker 1: we got some nepotism. A guy who has never worked

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Speaker 1: for anyone. Checuse mommy who owns the company.

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Speaker 2: Pay me, Mommy, I want to WAYE give me stuff

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Speaker 2: going on?

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Speaker 1: Financial Keypy, can you give me some money and put

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Speaker 1: in my mouth?

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Speaker 2: Jesus, our producer is so comfortable right now.

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Speaker 1: This is a guy who's incapable of doing anything himself

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Speaker 1: except maybe masturbating.

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Speaker 2: Oh God, maybe his mom does that for him.

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Speaker 1: Too, someone who will one day take over the company,

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Speaker 1: who currently can't even figure out Bluetooth.

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Speaker 2: Jesus, that's pretty sad. That's sad.

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Speaker 1: Moron would be a compliment. You think I'm being harsh

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Speaker 1: on my boss, we're exaggerating. I fucking wish wish. I

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Speaker 1: wish I was being dramatic. But this is Reddit, where

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Speaker 1: there is never drama.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 1: Last phone call I had from him was him asking

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Speaker 1: where he was. No, I'm serious. Here's a quote. Oh P,

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Speaker 1: I'm driving, Where am I? He asked me to track

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Speaker 1: his phone, find his location and see if I can

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Speaker 1: find a store near him that sells a certain item.

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Speaker 2: He can't.

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Speaker 1: He can't remember the name of the store either or

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Speaker 1: where it is exactly. And then I am the GPS

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Speaker 1: voice navigating him using the phone tracker to tell him

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Speaker 1: where to turn. Oh my god, girl just became Siri.

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Speaker 2: Literally, you are Google Maps now, this is my life.

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Speaker 1: Fifty plus phone calls a day from that man. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, fifty fifty plus geez ope, did you get

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Speaker 1: my email?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 1: I responded to it and answered your questions. Oh good,

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Speaker 1: read it out for me. I proceed to read the email.

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Speaker 1: He is happy. Fast forward two hours and I get

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Speaker 1: a scathing email from him responding to my reply. Oh Pe,

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Speaker 1: why did you email me again when we just talked

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Speaker 1: about this on the phone. This waste my time. I

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Speaker 1: no longer do my regular job. I've been transitioned into

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Speaker 1: his per personal assistant role, even though I did not

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Speaker 1: want it at all, to the point where I'm currently

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Speaker 1: searching for a new job. The company is bleeding money

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Speaker 1: like someone cut off both of its legs, and it's

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Speaker 1: flaccid stumps are spewing, Oh god, blood into the sewer.

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Speaker 1: Delicious boss is supposed to be figuring out why, but

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Speaker 1: this guy can't even pour himself a cup of coffee

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Speaker 1: from a machine we've had for six years. In my

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Speaker 1: day to day, I also assist other departments. I have

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Speaker 1: access to various software. I work alongside multiple managers, and

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Speaker 1: assist with their projects as well, when I'm not being

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Speaker 1: asked to identify the brand of sock the boss is

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Speaker 1: wearing so he can figure out where to buy more

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Speaker 1: and have me call to have them set aside a

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Speaker 1: package for me so I don't have to walk through

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Speaker 1: the store looking for these like an idiot.

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Speaker 2: It's is it not on the saw? Okay?

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Speaker 3: I guess, I guess there are a lot of socks

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Speaker 3: that don't have the brand on it.

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Speaker 1: But like, but he's like, he's like, find these socks

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Speaker 1: and then set us them aside of the store so

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Speaker 1: I don't have to look for them.

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Speaker 2: What why not just have Harbor buy it? At that point?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there's like online shop. Why even go into the store.

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Speaker 1: But I guess this man doesn't know how to use bluetooth.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, he's like, what's Amazon?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, man doesn't know about the internet?

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Speaker 2: Geez.

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Speaker 1: Based on my observations, I found several problems that are

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Speaker 1: costing us money, either by purchasing distribution or just a

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Speaker 1: general lack of adequate price adjustments. Some were serious enough

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Speaker 1: that I even spoke to a different department manager who

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Speaker 1: was impressed and took me to the CEO to ask

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Speaker 1: if I can be moved to their department to help

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Speaker 1: fix some of the identified problems.

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Speaker 2: The CEO is the boss's mother, Sweet old nepotism baby.

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Speaker 1: I get told that I am not allowed to transfer,

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Speaker 1: that I am far too valuable a personal assistant to

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Speaker 1: be shared with other departments that Boss will handle and

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Speaker 1: oversee the changes that need to be made.

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Speaker 2: Manager and I were stunned.

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Speaker 1: Turns out mother wants to step away from the company

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Speaker 1: and wants this boss to run it igno competent guy

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Speaker 1: that can't even use Google Maps.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, that.

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Speaker 3: Boss just needs more projects to work on to get

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Speaker 3: a better understanding without a run the company. Yeah, let's

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Speaker 3: give him more things that he'll never understood.

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Speaker 1: Just hasn't given But he just hasn't been given enough

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Speaker 1: of a chance.

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Speaker 3: We just we just need to train him on how

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Speaker 3: to find socks.

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Speaker 1: That's the level one, and once he gets that, then

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Speaker 1: he'll be ready for corporate life. Yeah like hello, he's

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Speaker 1: just putting it on one sock at a time, just

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Speaker 1: like everybody else. So Boss gets called in and told

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Speaker 1: that I identified several issues that the boss needs to

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Speaker 1: get resolved. Boss then gets mad at mother, telling her

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Speaker 1: he doesn't have time to do that.

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Speaker 2: Mother says she understands, and that he is a that

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Speaker 2: we busy boy.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, again, I'm not joking. Sitcoms can't even

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Speaker 1: write this kind of Boss later calls me into his

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Speaker 1: office and tells me that I'm going to work on

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Speaker 1: fixing all of these issues, but that I'm going to

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Speaker 1: give all my notes, tell him how I fixed it,

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Speaker 1: and he will present it to the board. So it

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Speaker 1: just sounds like, oh, he is now running the company,

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Speaker 1: but not being paid to do it and not giving

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Speaker 1: being given the title.

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Speaker 3: But now that you have control of the beer wheel

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Speaker 3: of the ship, could you just shoot a hole on

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Speaker 3: the floor.

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Speaker 1: Or threatened to shoot a hole in the floor and

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Speaker 1: get noodles of money?

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Speaker 2: Now we're talking be getting them back.

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Speaker 1: What you have is with the boys in the biz

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Speaker 1: called leverage.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, leve my ridge.

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Speaker 1: If you can hear, if you can steer the ship

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Speaker 1: into the iceberg, then you uh, you can steer it away.

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Speaker 1: Come get these big cash, baby. Boss then proceeds to

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Speaker 1: leave for the day, calling me later to ask what

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Speaker 1: kind of mustard was the mustard he liked most on

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Speaker 1: his Deli sandwiches.

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Speaker 2: Stop it that the buck has to stop somewhere.

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Speaker 1: No, dude, you have to favorite must be fueled with

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Speaker 1: the proper mustard.

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Speaker 3: Bro.

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Speaker 1: He then proceeded to lecture me on mustard because the

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Speaker 1: answer I gave him was obviously not the right kind

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Speaker 1: of mustard. And then I need to pay more attention

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Speaker 1: to things like that. That's the kind of attitude we needed.

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Speaker 1: This company was the right kind of mustard.

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Speaker 2: That's right for reasons it, Djon, you gotta be de joking.

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Speaker 1: I hung up the phone, picked up all my notes

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Speaker 1: on this bleeding money situation slash project, and proceeded to

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Speaker 1: shred them. I hope I get fired, and John, there

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Speaker 1: is an update. I want to know what you think.

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Speaker 1: I want to know what the audience thinks. But personally,

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Speaker 1: I would steer the ship a little bit longer, to

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Speaker 1: wait till you have some ability to sabotage with some

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Speaker 1: uh or to have the ability to sabotage and to

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Speaker 1: not do it, you know, for some financial incentive.

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Speaker 3: Here's what I'm thinking, though it's going to be such

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Speaker 3: like continuing to deal with this for any more amount

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Speaker 3: of time. What OP is doing right now is if

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Speaker 3: uh OP gets themselves fired, almost certainly especially at this

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Speaker 3: level of the company. They're getting a severance package. So A,

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Speaker 3: you get to stop dealing with this BS, and B

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Speaker 3: you get immediately paid for it.

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Speaker 2: Definitely a lesser bag.

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Speaker 1: Well, but if you get fired, you sometimes don't get

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Speaker 1: severance if it's with cause that.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's a good point.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, I didn't think about that.

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Speaker 1: I think I think OP should have continued working and

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Speaker 1: just said, hey, I'm going to quit and I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to run this company for you anymore unless I

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Speaker 1: get a massive raise.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I feel like you play that card right now too,

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Speaker 3: because like.

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Speaker 1: They probably are indispensable. It sounds like right now OP

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Speaker 1: is indispensable.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And it also sounds like OP is like tired

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Speaker 3: of this, like tired of it. So it's like, play

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Speaker 3: that card right now and be like, either pay me

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Speaker 3: for all of the massive migraines you're about to give me,

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Speaker 3: or you're fucked.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. OK, so let's get into this up. Let's get

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Speaker 2: these bags.

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Speaker 1: Despite a few interviews, I am still in this god

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Speaker 1: forsaken shit, old God. You may be wondering, so, OP,

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Speaker 1: did you get fired for shredding the project notes? Nope,

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Speaker 1: lectured yes, got told I was a disappointment. Also, yes,

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Speaker 1: things that have happened since then, Boss has determined that

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Speaker 1: fixing these issues isn't actually that important after all, and.

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Speaker 2: Me shredding the documents was it a huge loss?

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Speaker 1: Ross proceeded to inform me that I was looking for

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Speaker 1: problems and that I should keep my nose clean regarding

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Speaker 1: company matters.

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Speaker 2: And wait, is this that the idiot sun boss or okay.

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Speaker 3: Yea aka stop trying to find things that are wrong

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Speaker 3: that he would have to fix, just like, don't e,

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Speaker 3: don't worry about it.

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Speaker 2: We like, like chill your harsh in a mellow bro.

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Speaker 3: Could we like like maybe rent a house like a

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Speaker 3: pool in it and like and like record outside. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: let's just lighter cash on fire. I love that we're

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Speaker 3: not doing that. No, we're not on a good note.

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Speaker 3: I have actually stopped doing my job. I don't get

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Speaker 3: paid enough for this shit. That's a gets a smart move.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I've realized I can't get fired at this point,

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Speaker 1: not because it's impossible because the funds aren't there to

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Speaker 1: do severance. I'd even be warned that our paychecks might

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Speaker 1: bounce next week and that they will be writing a

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Speaker 1: manual checks that we can take to the bank teller

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Speaker 1: and have them check if there is enough money before

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Speaker 1: we hop them. God, the ship is going down, God.

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Speaker 3: Man.

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Speaker 1: On that note, here are additional things I have done

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Speaker 1: this past month. Replace my boss's pens in his office

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Speaker 1: entirely with crayons. Purchase the bathroom sent spray fragrance. The

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Speaker 1: boss says he hates with enough supply for the next year,

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Speaker 1: so they can't justify buying more. Wait, what had the

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Speaker 1: boys from the shop string up his office chair from

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Speaker 1: the overhead crane? Like put his office chair on a crane.

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Speaker 1: Call All my vendors that I have working relationships with

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Speaker 1: and had bosses authorization removed from all my accounts, citing

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Speaker 1: a need for three signature approvals to override ope.

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Speaker 2: He's making a hell.

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Speaker 1: Destroyed my notes for fixing the inventory system, which has

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Speaker 1: been neglected for fifteen years, and I reorganized it to

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Speaker 1: a functional point. This was deemed not necessary, so I

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Speaker 1: removed all my work and shredded those documents too.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: I listened to music all day or podcasts despite the

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Speaker 1: policy against it. I take extra long breaks up to

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Speaker 1: an hour where I disappear. I took a week off

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Speaker 1: with only five hours notice and came back to being

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Speaker 1: not fired. Seriously, I didn't get paid enough for this

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Speaker 1: bit's and that is the end.

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Speaker 3: Wow, Okay, I think I think that is is a

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Speaker 3: smart move, sunsight.

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Speaker 1: Better than being paid more for work that you are

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Speaker 1: doing is being paid for no work. Yeah, you are

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Speaker 1: doing for just absolutely sitting on your butt. Yes, straight goofin,

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Speaker 1: straight goofin. You know, Op made one of the right choices.

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Speaker 3: Could you imagine making living off of making, you know,

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Speaker 3: stupid jokes, you know, sitting around or listening to stupid jokes. Yeah, damn,

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Speaker 3: you'd have.

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Speaker 1: To be a complete idiot idiot to listen to this exactly,

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Speaker 1: but we appreciate that you do. Honestly, we appreciate the

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Speaker 1: OKOP fam so much. Thank you for listening also to

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Speaker 1: this vacation episode of OKOP.

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Speaker 2: Right now, you know, wow wow.

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Speaker 3: Right as the breeze picks up and gives us a

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Speaker 3: little Beyonce hair tussle with that, let's get into the

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Speaker 3: next story. I banned my friend's wife from the wedding.

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Speaker 3: I don't care she's huming garbage?

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Speaker 2: Am I the ahole?

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Speaker 1: Take that trash out, bitch, and I don't like you,

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Speaker 1: and I want you to be compacted and a trash

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Speaker 1: compactor and not hear your screams.

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Speaker 3: So I, thirty three male, am getting married next summer. Congratulations.

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Speaker 3: I invited a friend from university to my wedding, but

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Speaker 3: intentionally did not give him a plus one for his wife.

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Speaker 1: You hate his wife without telling me? Yeah, exactly now,

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Speaker 1: he thought me. He told me his wife and I

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Speaker 1: do not get on.

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Speaker 3: She attended university with us, and we had our fair

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Speaker 3: share of fights then and rather a large fuss some

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Speaker 3: five odd years ago. We live on opposite sides of

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Speaker 3: our country and only see each other a couple of

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Speaker 3: times a year, if that for special occasions like other

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Speaker 3: friend's weddings. His wife and I can be generally cordial now,

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Speaker 3: but mostly avoid and ignore one another.

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Speaker 2: What's so wrong with his other wife? I want to know.

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Speaker 2: I'm not sure, but I have to imagine that the

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Speaker 2: tea will be spilt.

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Speaker 1: I want the tea to be tea is just like

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Speaker 1: it's just like hot wax dripping down my asshole.

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Speaker 2: Glazing your asshole.

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Speaker 3: They got married around four years ago, and I was

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Speaker 3: not invited to their wedding.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so that's Okay, so the beef is on both sides.

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Speaker 3: My friend told me in no uncertain terms that he

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Speaker 3: wanted me there, but his wife did not, and that

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Speaker 3: he chose to respect her wishes on her big day.

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Speaker 1: It's two people's big day. How close friend is ope

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Speaker 1: with this friend?

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Speaker 3: I don't know if they're absolute best friends, but like

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Speaker 3: friends from university, So that's a pretty decent Even if

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Speaker 3: you weren't like absolute, like like number one friend, that's

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Speaker 3: still a decent bond.

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Speaker 1: I would say, yeah, but to not invite that person

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Speaker 1: to your wedding, like how good of a friend could

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Speaker 1: they be?

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Speaker 2: Or how big of a cuck are you? Exactly?

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Speaker 3: That's true, booty hole glazed with wax la. I mean,

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Speaker 3: just like completely dominated. I was disappointed, but understanding, and

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Speaker 3: I never let it affect our friendship. I was having

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Speaker 3: a big wedding and all guests with spouses, fiances and

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Speaker 3: serious girlfriends and boyfriends all getting plus ones except for

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Speaker 3: said friend. So now we're going tit for tat, Well,

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Speaker 3: no tit for tat.

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Speaker 1: That would be like not inviting him to your wedding

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Speaker 1: at all. He didn't invite you to yours exactly. It

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Speaker 1: wasn't like, oh, you can't have a plus one. It's

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Speaker 1: like you can't be here period. He's already doing in

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Speaker 1: him a favor.

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Speaker 3: Good point. It is not a numbers issue. I simply

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Speaker 3: do not want his wife and attendance. I have considered

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Speaker 3: the likelihood that my friend will RSVP not given the

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Speaker 3: lack of a plus one, but.

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Speaker 2: I am okay with this outcome.

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Speaker 3: I have no intention of telling him ahead of time

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Speaker 3: that most others are getting a plus one, but I'm

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Speaker 3: aware that he is most likely going to find out.

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Speaker 3: My fiance and I obviously discussed this matter, and she

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Speaker 3: is fully supportive of this decision.

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Speaker 2: That's good. That's good.

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Speaker 1: If the fiance's on board, that's a you know, that's

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Speaker 1: one for the team.

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Speaker 2: One hundred percent agree.

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Speaker 3: Other friends that I've spoken to tell me that I'm

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Speaker 3: being ruthless and basically should not have even invited my

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Speaker 3: friend if I wasn't going to give him a plus

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Speaker 3: one for his wife.

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Speaker 2: So am I the a hole?

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Speaker 3: There is an edit where we learn the origin story

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Speaker 3: of the beef, but I would love to see in

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Speaker 3: the Thomas right now, ahole or not as of this,

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Speaker 3: But Sam, what are you thinking?

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Speaker 1: I mean, do those friends know the context, Like, do

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Speaker 1: they know that the wife specifically made it so that

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Speaker 1: he couldn't attend his friend's wedding at all?

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Speaker 3: And there's this thing we're about to find out that

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Speaker 3: the wife did.

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Speaker 1: Do they know that as well? Again, I think it's

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Speaker 1: your wedding. You could do whatever you want. And it's

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Speaker 1: like she probably wouldn't want to come anyway. But even

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Speaker 1: if she did come, would it really ruin things? Maybe

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Speaker 1: there's enough beef where it would ruin things.

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Speaker 2: It depends on our past.

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Speaker 1: I think I don't think OP owes the wife anything.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely owes the wife nothing. I do wonder like the

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Speaker 3: friends were saying, like, oh, you should have just not

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Speaker 3: even sent him the invite versus sending them the invite

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Speaker 3: without the plus one.

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Speaker 1: Why no, But he wants to invite his friend, but

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Speaker 1: then he's just doing what his friend did to him,

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Speaker 1: which I think is more of an asshole move. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: although if it's a good friend, maybe this isn't just

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Speaker 1: a good friend. If I had that situation, what I

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Speaker 1: would have said, It's like, hey, I want you to come,

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Speaker 1: but like I don't want your wife to come.

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Speaker 3: I think that is that's the most reasonable thing to

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Speaker 3: do OPI is kind of like doing it biomission and

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Speaker 3: just like, here's your invite.

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Speaker 2: That's it. I don't think that's a bad thing.

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Speaker 3: But let's get into this edit with the sweet beef.

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Speaker 3: Let's get this beef sizzling. Since a lot of you

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Speaker 3: are talking about the fuss, I will give a little

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Speaker 3: bit more context. She my friend's wife, cheated on my

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Speaker 3: friend at university.

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Speaker 2: They broke up.

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Speaker 3: I was not as warmed her afterwards, but not outwardly mean.

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Speaker 2: She wanted him back. He asked for advice, and I said,

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Speaker 2: don't do it. Da good advice. I'm not getting good

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Speaker 2: vibes from her. She sucks.

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Speaker 3: He took her back anyways, obviously his right to do so,

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Speaker 3: but I remained more distant from her. Not sure if

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Speaker 3: my friend told her that I advised them that they

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Speaker 3: remain broken up, to which I would not be surprised.

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Speaker 1: Probably.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds like if you're in a relationship, like

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Speaker 3: I would assume I would say most unless someone explicitly

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Speaker 3: says don't tell your partner or whatever, I would assume that,

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Speaker 3: like you share most.

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Speaker 1: Things in the relationship, Yeah, one hundred percent.

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Speaker 3: Or if it was just me not being as friendly,

386
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Speaker 3: but she turned nasty on me, nastier than a three

387
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Speaker 3: day old curdled glaze. Five years ago, I called her

388
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Speaker 3: out for her bitchy behavior after she hurt me with

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Speaker 3: multiple rude comments. Alcohol was involved, and I admittedly could

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Speaker 3: have handled the situation with morphinesse. Our interaction ruined a

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Speaker 3: wonderful evening. Once we sobered up the following day, I

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Speaker 3: apologize for my part, and I expected the same in return. Instead,

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Speaker 3: she not only refused to apologize or accept any blame,

394
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Speaker 3: but she also entirely rejected my apology. Ooh, okay, So

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Speaker 3: I feel like we've gotten a pretty good picture here.

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Speaker 2: I think OPI's.

397
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Speaker 3: Not the able a million percent. Like everything we learned

398
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,520
Speaker 3: made the wife more and more than she is a

399
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Speaker 3: cheating dirt bag yep, and deserves to be taken out

400
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,639
Speaker 3: with dirt. That is true, you know, put it in

401
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:57,760
Speaker 3: the dump where she belongs. I feel like the friend

402
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,240
Speaker 3: sounds like a cock. Yeah, Like I mean the fact

403
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Speaker 3: that she cheated on him and he still stayed with her,

404
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,479
Speaker 3: and then that she said no, you can't invite your friend,

405
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Speaker 3: Yeah he did. It sounds like he's he's whipped to

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Speaker 3: the max.

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Speaker 2: He's just ball in chain.

408
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Speaker 1: Oh please, darling, please let me invite my friend. No, oh, please, darling,

409
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Speaker 1: don't cheat on me. I will, and you will watch. Yeah,

410
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Speaker 1: you'll love the watch. I love watching me with everyone.

411
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Speaker 2: Thank you for ruining my life.

412
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,400
Speaker 3: But I would love to hear stories of you being

413
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Speaker 3: a cook that too, Have you been cooked?

414
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Speaker 2: Have you been a cook?

415
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,760
Speaker 3: Speaking of which, could you just ball and gag me

416
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Speaker 3: with this next story?

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Speaker 1: I will, I will, I will. First, let me let

418
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Speaker 1: me glaze you up, though, drip it