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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's turning the roadside service industry on.

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Speaker 1: It's early instead of triple A, he's just doing a

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Speaker 1: where for nineteen dollars a year, a dude will drive

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Speaker 1: out to your broken down vehicle and won't help. He'll

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Speaker 1: just say he feels really bad for you and then

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Speaker 1: peel out. So sign up for a You just put

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Speaker 1: in the code word Laser Stories for a special, one

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Speaker 1: time discounted pity. It's Laser Stories, the segment where we

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Speaker 1: read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone

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Speaker 1: else does, except we've got a laser and those other

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Speaker 1: clunker kickers just don't.

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Speaker 2: His first laser story is out of Indianapolis.

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Speaker 1: A few days ago, thirty four year old guy sauntered

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Speaker 1: into a cage jeweler's, put some rings and necklaces into

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Speaker 1: his pocket, and then ran out without pain.

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Speaker 2: Hey, nobody got time, for which is not allowed.

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Speaker 1: I should say that the cops were called and the

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Speaker 1: man got into a high speed chase with a few

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Speaker 1: police cruisers. During the pursuit, they could see him waving

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Speaker 1: his hand out the window and trying to signal them,

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Speaker 1: but they couldn't tell.

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Speaker 2: What he was saying.

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Speaker 1: Oh so in the end, officers eventually were able to

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Speaker 1: box him in and arrested him.

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Speaker 3: So what was he trying to tell the officers?

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Speaker 2: Well, what was he trying to yell out the window?

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Speaker 1: Once he was in custody, he told authorities he was

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Speaker 1: trying to explain that they.

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Speaker 2: Weren't supposed to keep chasing him.

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Speaker 1: He went on to say that he knew some police

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Speaker 1: departments have policies where cops are supposed to call off

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Speaker 1: a high speed chase if it gets too dangerous.

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Speaker 3: Oh so that's what he was baking.

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Speaker 2: I'm hoping that that was gonna be his main getaway plan.

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Speaker 3: Somebody on the internet told me that this would work.

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Speaker 1: Excuse me, I almost hit a person back there, and

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Speaker 1: you're gonna keep chasing me.

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Speaker 3: Do you think that there's an algorithm for crime hacks?

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: Like instead of like how to get the most toothpaste

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Speaker 3: out of the tape, they're like how to get out

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Speaker 3: of a high speed chase or.

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Speaker 1: A good way to actually catch people if they follow

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Speaker 1: that algorithm. But he is now facing a long list

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Speaker 1: of charges, including theft, resisting arrest, reckless driving, and driving

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Speaker 1: without a license.

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Speaker 3: And his mom isn't gonna get anything for Christmas.

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Speaker 2: Thing It goes without saying.

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Speaker 1: The best criminals are the ones who think they know

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Speaker 1: more about the law than the actual cops.

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Speaker 2: I love those ones.

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Speaker 1: This next lazer stories out of stale pizza, flat beer,

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Speaker 1: but smiling ear to ear HQ.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I've been here a lot and I

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Speaker 3: can smell it if.

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Speaker 2: You haven't heard.

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Speaker 1: The Pizza Entertainment Fun Palace a ka Chuck E. Cheese

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Speaker 1: is removing all of their animatronics.

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Speaker 3: Creepy now, but they were creepy even in the eighties,

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Speaker 3: the Lexus, they were never not creepy.

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Speaker 1: In the point I had my first kiss with one

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Speaker 1: of those, as iconic as they.

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Speaker 3: Are, it was.

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Speaker 1: The pizza guy. Yeah, the kid Shane is completely over

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Speaker 1: its image. Three weeks after the release of the highly

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Speaker 1: successful film Five Nights at Freddy's. It's a horror movie

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Speaker 1: that's based on a popular video game, which follows a

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Speaker 1: security guard who has to survive five nights in a

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Speaker 1: Chucky Cheese inspired restaurant while animatronic characters come alive and

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Speaker 1: try to kill the previous gave me nightmarriage very scary,

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Speaker 1: So now the real Chucky Cheese has decided to remove

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Speaker 1: all animatrons because they don't want to frighten children.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I like how they took them forty years to realize

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Speaker 3: they were scaring.

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Speaker 1: The kids, And now that band that played for countless

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Speaker 1: children's birthday parties over the years will officially be no more.

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Speaker 3: Sad my kids will never see them.

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Speaker 1: The company said in a statement that they are giving

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Speaker 1: the chain a totally modern upgrade and experience for guests

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Speaker 1: of all ages.

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Speaker 2: But if you're a chuck, She's purest.

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Speaker 1: There will be one single location where you'll still be

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Speaker 1: able to see the animatronic band. It's in my hometown, Northridge, California.

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Speaker 3: Wo Jeff, let's hear your next birthday party there.

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Speaker 1: That'll be the home of the Singing Mouse with all

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Speaker 1: of his animatronic face.

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Speaker 3: When this radio show doesn't work out, maybe you can

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Speaker 3: be their featured singer.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just don't go in after dark when it's closed,

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Speaker 1: because you just never know. Yeah, hear this next Lazer

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Speaker 1: stories out of the friendly skies. Dear Delta, United Southwest

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Speaker 1: and every other major airline, please make a big mistake

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Speaker 1: like this, because I need to buy my tickets home

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Speaker 1: for the holidays soon. Why I say that because an

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Speaker 1: airline in China called China Southern had to scramble last

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Speaker 1: week after they accidentally started selling tickets for as low

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Speaker 1: as a dollar thirty seven.

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Speaker 2: No wait, accidentally.

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Speaker 1: It was a glitch in their app that extended to

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Speaker 1: several ticket booking platforms as well, and so there were

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Speaker 1: priced between a dollar thirty seven and four dollars in

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Speaker 1: twelve cents that was.

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Speaker 2: The highest ticket. Oh god, and a bunch of people

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Speaker 2: scooped them up.

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Speaker 3: Whoa. You know, if they did that in the States,

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Speaker 3: they'd still make you pay the difference.

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Speaker 2: It's just like when they accidentally.

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Speaker 3: Put a million dollars in your bank account and then

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Speaker 3: you can't keep it give it back.

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Speaker 1: So it's not exactly clear how many tickets sold at

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Speaker 1: that price, but word quickly started to spread online and

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Speaker 1: they didn't fix the glitch for two hours.

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Speaker 3: Jump. Yeah, somebody's in trouble.

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Speaker 2: So clearly more than just a few tickets were sold.

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Speaker 1: And this same type of thing happened actually a few

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Speaker 1: months ago to an airline in Japan, and all of

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Speaker 1: those tickets got canceled.

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Speaker 2: Oh oh they did you think you'd think the same

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Speaker 2: thing would happen this time, but no.

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Speaker 1: China Southern put out a statement saying the tickets are

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Speaker 1: all valid and passengers can use them like they normally wore.

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Speaker 2: So cool.

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Speaker 3: They didn't say that they're going to be sitting with

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Speaker 3: the suitcases underneath the plane.

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Speaker 2: You know, worry about that later on. It stories out

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Speaker 2: of social gathering central.

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Speaker 1: If you want more people at your holiday party, really

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Speaker 1: push the idea that you'll have lots of food, especially sweets,

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Speaker 1: because in a recent poll, forty eight percent of Americans

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Speaker 1: say they've gone to a party before just for the desserts.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, you know which friends are the best

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Speaker 3: cooks too? You're like, oh, I'll go to your house.

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Speaker 1: The Pole also looked at the most popular holiday flavors,

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Speaker 1: and pumpkins spice made the list, but it might not

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Speaker 1: be as popular as you'd think. It's only ranked fifth.

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Speaker 1: Gingerbread is our favorite holiday flavor.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's pretty good.

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Speaker 1: Then salted caramel, peppermint, maple, pumpkin spices fifth, Then chai,

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Speaker 1: cinnamon and bourbon tasty?

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Speaker 3: Fuck, Cinna give me more bourbon?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like bourbon balls or just three straight shots of jack.

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Speaker 1: Some other quick stats. The average person. This is the

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Speaker 1: average person okay, twenty six cookies over the holidays, twenty

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Speaker 1: five pieces of candy, thirteen slices of cake, twelve pieces

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Speaker 1: of pie, thirteen brownies, and another thirteen cupcakes.

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Speaker 3: Omn, there's more cake than pie. Who's my cake?

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Speaker 2: She makes cakes?

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Speaker 1: Does she?

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Speaker 3: Is? She a cake lady?

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Speaker 2: Out of nowhere?

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Speaker 1: Like you wake up the next morning and there's a

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Speaker 1: hole sheet cake made on the counter.

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Speaker 2: Just for no reason. I was just craving a cake.

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Speaker 1: Plus, close to fifty percent of us have hidden holiday

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Speaker 1: suits to prevent family members from stealing them.

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Speaker 2: That's so true.

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Speaker 1: The most common hiding spots are behind other stuff in

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Speaker 1: the kitchen cabinet.

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I saw a parent hack where they were

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Speaker 3: hiding them inside like vegetable bags, you know, frozen vegetable bags, brilliant.

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Speaker 2: In the bag.

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Speaker 1: Usually they're hidden in a cupboard that doesn't normally have

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Speaker 1: food in it, but the second place where no one

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Speaker 1: would ever check.

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Speaker 2: Kids, close your ears, don't listen. They're listening to the

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Speaker 2: bathroom cabinet.

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Speaker 3: It's kind of weird to keep I mean, I know

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Speaker 3: that I enjoy a you know, a quick bite on

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Speaker 3: the toilet.

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Speaker 1: Ever.

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Speaker 3: To store it in there feels a little dirty.

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Speaker 2: I know this guy's not hiding the sweets. It's totally

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Speaker 2: exposed and out in the open. Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 1: In fact, you're thinking a sign off of it, saying

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Speaker 1: come one, come onestive shot. The holidays just comes to

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Speaker 1: an end for the day.

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Speaker 2: We'll do it again at the same time on Wednesday

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Speaker 3: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning,